My wife is UPSET I turned down a promotion… it was too much work! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on
the International Okay Storytime podcast station.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
And we have some human stories coming up, not alien, but.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Before we make a landing, stick around for this two
minute not alien ad break before we get to these
interstellar stories.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
My wife is upset. I turned down a promotion. It
was too much work.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I don't want to work up day, man, I want
a vacation and sit by beach.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
A few years ago, I was working eighty hours a week.
That's too many hours, and working on weekends.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
I hated it. It was horrible. I had no time
to see my kids. They were usually asleep when I
got back, and my spicy sleep life was non existent.
The only good thing was the pay. It was very generous.
It was so bad.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Oh my god. Man's not getting any wow out of it.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
By the way, this comes from no eighty hour week,
and if you want to spit your own stories, go
to the r slash. Okay Storytime suppered it. I quit
eventually and quickly found another job in the same field,
but this was only a forty eight hour week, six
days a week. The work schedule is much more tolerable
and I can come home by seven every day and
still have dinner with my family and see my kids.
The pay is nearly half of what I earned in

(01:12):
my previous job, but still quite manageable. Right now, I
earn fifty eight hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Per month, pretty good.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
We used to live in a five bedroom house and
we were only using three of the rooms, with one
unused guest room and one office that was never used.
We moved and downgraded into a much smaller house with
three bedrooms and two bathrooms. There's one room for each
of my daughters in one bedroom for me and my wife.
I handle all the finances because my wife isn't good
with money. We have much fewer luxuries than we did before,

(01:39):
but otherwise all our needs are being met. I am
able to save half my pay twenty seven hundred dollars
per month. I have saved almost ten K for my
eldest daughter and almost five K for my younger daughter.
I have seventy K in my general savings account and
have other investments. So Man's doing pretty good.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Man's doing great.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
Every month I give my wife an allowance of two
hundred dollars to spend on whatever she wants. This does
not include groceries and other household expenses, as I do
all the household shopping and grocery shopping. We have two
cars that have been paid off. I would say that
despite my salary being had, we still lead a comfortable life.
My wife is a stay at home mom, so we
rely on my salary. Okay, so he was making a

(02:19):
good chunk of change before.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, yeah, but.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
He hasn't really had to downgrade his life too much
even with the.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Pay pay cut.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Last month, I was offered a promotion that would almost
double my pay. So he'll go right.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Back to where he was. But well, is he gonna
have to double his hours?

Speaker 3 (02:38):
However, this promotion also changes my duties and requires me
to work all seven days of the week and be
able to travel for work frequently. Okay, I am expected
to work seventy hours a week, which I do not
want to do again. I turned the offer down citing
my family commitments, and my boss was very understanding. My
wife is upset at me for turning down the promotion.

(03:00):
She said, we need the money, and if I had
taken the promotion, we wouldn't need to stay in a
crabby house like the one we were living in Now
their house is a crabby I think, yeah, she's upset
that there's only three bedrooms.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Remember she is good with money.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Oh yeah, she's she liked the lifestyle she had before,
where she didn't have to think about how much.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Money she was trend or it's like how expensive is that?
Oh that's not bad?

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah? Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with the house we
live in now. The backyard is small, but my kids
don't really enjoy playing outside, and the house is in
a respectable neighborhood and is actually closer to my daughter's school.
There isn't anything broken that requires fixing in the house.
House is smaller than it used to be, but that's
about it. Is my wife being unreasonable or is there
something I'm not seeing?

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Edit?

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Thanks for all the opinions. My wife knows I hated
my previous job, but I don't think she understands the
extent of it and how bad it really was. I
do not think two hundred dollars a month for personal
needs is a bad deal, but I don't spend much myself.
I guess I could increase the monthly allowance. My wife
does not make financial decisions because she's really bad with money,
and she racked up credit card debt worth thirty five

(04:06):
k oh wow.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, she has a lot of credit card.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Banks which took a long time to pay off. This
was before we had kids, and it was a mutual
decision to let me handle the money. I think we
need to have a really long talk. Thanks again for
all the replies. Some people are suggesting that she could
go back to work, and I think part time work
would be good, especially because our kids are already in school.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah, time shopping, probably to spend.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah, there is an update, But do you have any thoughts?

Speaker 2 (04:38):
It sounds like she both is not understanding, not curious
about like your your experience at the job, and doesn't
feel like she's pulling her own way.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Absolutely well. The thing is, it doesn't seem like she
really cares about op at all.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, she's just like.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
She cares about her lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, money please.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
He's telling her that he is truly breaking next you know,
afford this lifestyle of eighty hours a week to get
you know, twelve thirteen hundred sorry at thirteen thousand a month.
But he can't. That's not something that he can keep up.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Also, Yeah, what's the point of making all that money
if you can't even enjoy. Yeah, he literally could not
see his children and he could not sleep with his wife.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, it was at a certain point. Is that amount
of money worth it if you are literally hate your life?

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Because he certainly doesn't seem to think so. And she's
just like, I actually don't care.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
What it's like. She's like, I would actually like to
see less of you.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, well that's what it feels like. It feels like, Oh,
I actually like the way that our marriage is set
up because I never see you and you pay for
my lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty sad. It's pretty sad.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
Update.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Let's get into this update.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Thought I would update as the problem has been mostly resolved.
Oh and I'm quite happy with the outcome.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
That you know, you don't see that often here. Yeah,
but uh, a little happy yet you like to see
Maybe maybe it's prettymature happy ending.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Thanks to the people who responded in the previous post.
I did briefly skim through all the replies. The first
thing I did was have an honest talk with my
wife about how I felt during my previous job. She
knew that I hated it, but not the extent of
how stressed I was feeling during those times. I explained
everything and said I will never go back to doing
more than fifty hour work weeks ever again. Even if

(06:20):
the pay was good, it wasn't worth a mental stress
or general well being. It was a very honest conversation,
and I think my wife really understood. She apologized several
times and cried a bit. The next part was the house.
In my point of view, the house is great in
every aspect and meets all our needs perfectly. But she
wasn't happy with it. So there could have been something
I wasn't seeing, and there was. My wife has really

(06:42):
picked up on baking and cooking over the years, and
in the new house the kitchen is much smaller than
the previous one. The kitchen space was sacrificed for a
bigger living room space and a make cooking and baking
an annoying affair for my wife. She says the kitchen
is so narrow that she ends up knocking stuff over
and she doesn't like working there. It's true, the kitchen
is quite narrow. She apologized for overreacting about the house.
I've thought a lot about this, but I don't want

(07:05):
to spend extra money on remodeling the kitchen. I think
the small kitchen space is something that can be managed.
My wife has agreed. She said she was acting in frustration,
but doesn't see us moving again or spending money for renovating.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
And also it sounds like maybe they do own the
house after there's standing money on renovating.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Would means crazier that you didn't say anything anything. She's
like like, she's like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
This one's fine.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I mean the kitchen is like the first thing that
you look at personally.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
That's that's a big doll for me. Like if I
if I were looking at houses, I would want.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
To know a kitchen, you would say something like a
narrow kitchen.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
About the general finances, a lot of people were concerned
that my wife doesn't know anything about our finances. Rest assured.
My wife has access to emergency savings and she is
aware of all financial decisions I make About her allowance,
I don't think two hundred dollars is very little. But
after discussing with my wife, we agreed that she could
go back to She has a degree, but doesn't want

(08:01):
to go back to work in that field. She's applied
to work in a local bakery as a baker slash
pastry chef, and she just passed the baking test. Oh,
let's go.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
That's actually so cute.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Was waiting for the confirmation before posting this.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Oh way, that's awesome.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
She will be earning about nine hundred dollars per month.
That's awesome. This is great. This is something that she
seems to enjoy.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And you can have bake goods win win.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, it might be hard to make them in your
narrow kitchen, but sense nevertheless, you have some bake goods.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
And has agreed to put four hundred and fifty dollars
into savings for my younger daughter and use the rest
for her own desire spending.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Boom love all love this. This. This is beautiful doing
something she loves, making some money doing it. We I
mean this, this is great.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
I am putting away the two hundred dollars originally for
my wife into savings for our younger daughter. Overall, I
am quite happy with the resolution. More savings for our daughters,
and my wife has more money to spend. Also, she
says she's allowed to bring home extra treats she makes,
so it's a win win for everyone and edit. My
wife has been interested in going back to work for
some time now, but has never actually done it, so

(09:07):
I didn't force her to go back to work. This
was something we talked about and she agreed that she
wants to go back to work. The work is part time.
She spends four hundred and fifty dollars on whatever she wants.
All of the bills, groceries, and other shopping and financial
needs are covered by me. I save twenty seven hundred
dollars plus two hundred dollars, and ninety percent of the
balance of my income is spent on paying bills and

(09:30):
other necessities. I do not spend much on myself, around
one hundred dollars, and I'm perfectly fine with that.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
One hundred dollars a month. I guess, so you only
spend one hundred dollars in yourself a month.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
For the kitchen. By renovating, I meant that we will
not be making major changes. We will manage the space
by adding more cabinets, lengthening the countertops, and breaking the
wall between the balcony and the kitchen for added space.
The remodeling, So you are remodeling, yeah, okay, This was
not a decision made by me only. This was after
a lengthy comm with my wife. The basics are only

(10:02):
given here, but it was a mutual decision by both
of us. I do agree my language needs to change.
It's not my savings, but our savings, and I'm aware
of that and will consciously make the decision to change
the way I phrase it. I definitely love my wife
and think of us as a team. All our savings
are for the benefit of our family. And there is
a second update.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
I feel like the shoes get to drop.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
I think so too.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I feel like.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
We're only halfway through. You know, we're way more than
halfway through. That was like a really quick that all
went by very quickly. Oh wow, we only have like
a little bit left, Oh a little bit. Yeah, so,
but we have room for it all to crume. We've
got room for dessert.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
We got room for dessert.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Edit to sixteen dollars new box of tampons and pads,
thirty bucks sunscreen, face wash, moisturizer and anti acne prescription,
eighty bucks birth control, ten bucks shampoo and conditioner, fifty
bucks gifts about two birthdays a month come up for
friends and family It also covers things like weddings. I
had to go to four last summer. Twenty five bucks
or person is what tends to be expected in months

(11:02):
with no birthdays. I put this towards the Christmas fund
forty bucks.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Clothes.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
I drift all of my clothes and find that each
month I have to buy either a new shirt or
new pants.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
I mean, man is fan has got his finances in order.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Wow, one hundred and twenty bucks transit. A transit pass
in my city is one hundred and ten bucks per month,
and the other ten bucks is the cab I usually
have to take between meetings if I'm rushed. If I
had a car, I guess this would be the line
item for gas. I consider all of these financial needs,
and I pay for all of these. I consider medical
needs like birth control, and things like clothes and transport
expenses to be necessities, and I pay for all of that.

(11:38):
There seems to be some misconceptions. I also consider haircuts
and meals to be a financial need, and I pay
for that. FYI hope that clears the misconception. There is
a little bit left to this story. Do you any
final thoughts.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
I mean, it seems like he has his expenses down. Yeah,
I'm just I feel like I'm feeling good about where
the story's ending. It seems like he's managing it well.
Seems like she heard him. I feel like this is
an example of good communication.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
I agree, Sam, and I also agree that there's a
little bit left. Okay Edit three. Yeah, I enjoy spending
time with my family. I grew up poor and during
the time my wife racked up thirty five K of
debt and didn't tell me about it until they came
to seal the house and take away our furniture.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Luckily most of the things were in my name, so
we got by it. But that was one of the
scariest things I faced. We were facing homelessness. Wow, that
crap scares you. This was before we had kids. Having
kids ranked my saving habits up a notch. I can
get obsessive about it. I agree, And that is the
end of that story.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Well, it does feel like we got into a better space.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
I think.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
You know, money is such an important thing to talk
about in a relationship. You kind of have to be
on the same page about how you spend it and
how you think about it because you don't want to
have to think about money in a relationship, but you
kind of have to.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
I agree, because then you'll have to think about it
way more.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah, if you get into a situation where you're in debt,
like when you're seizing all of your furniture. Oh boy,
I refuse to replace my daughter's car. I'm not the
one who destroyed it.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Not my problem.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
My daughter, Casey's seventeen female, worked and saved up money
for around a year to be able to afford a
better car than we could buy her with our family budget.
My other daughter, Alana, sixteen female, has ADHD and recently
got her driver's license and asked to drive Casey's car.
Put I see you in the chat if you know
what's going to happen. By the way, this comes from

(13:33):
last Time and Top version twenty nine forty. I think
we got a double feature Reddit story.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Coming up, folks, let's go.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
We love seeing those both perspectives. Anyway, if you want
to spell your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime ceb So Casey allowed it, but Alana ended
up having a bad accident around six months ago, which
basically rendered the car unusable. The insurance payout wasn't nearly
enough to cover the replacement, and with Alana's medical bills
from the accident lengthilly, there was no permanent damage, just

(14:03):
a broken arm and leg, there was no way we
could afford to replace Casey's car immediately. Alana was very
apologetic to Casey, and so were we since we couldn't
afford to replace her car. But Casey didn't accept her
apology and has been basically avoiding us, skipping family dinners
and pretty much pretending that her mom and Alana and
I don't exist, and only talks to us if she
needs a form signed for her school.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
I mean she's based of course, fair fair fair. The
car that she spent money on without her parents' help
was destroyed by her sister. And you know, if we're
talking about insurance, was if the sister destroys a car
that she you know, she's not her car, then you
should be paying for it.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
I begged her to come to a family therapy session,
and she eventually relented, both the condition that Alana wouldn't
be present in the therapy session. She told us that
she won't be resuming a relationship with us until we
replace her car, which realistically won't be until next year.
When the therapist asked how she expected us to do that,
Casey said, we would just make Alana work, yes, to
earn the money.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yes, Yeah, that's the idea.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
The issue is that Alana has severe ADHD and already
has trouble managing her schoolwork. I'm worried that making her
work to earn money will harm her grades and have
significant ramifications for her future. Casey said, well, she should
have thought about that before destroying my car. I don't care.
I'm not going to speak to any of you unless
I have my car replaced. I responded that she was
free to avoid speaking to me as long as she

(15:28):
wanted to, but I'm not going to permanently harm her
sister's future to get her a car Earlier. I had
a job when I was in school, and like, I
feel like having jobs honestly can help you have the
structure needed to actually do well in school.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
Okay, I understand that the saying like she's already having
trouble with managing schoolwork and stuff. I just don't know
if I mean, like I really don't know. Like I
can't tell you because I'm not a doctor, you know,
if that, if it will affect her, but I feel like,
I don't know, they could make like they could figure
out something, some sort of schedule that works for her.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, I mean, like just like working a couple hours
a day. Yeah, you know after school is not gonna Yeah,
I'm not gonna hurt you.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Sure. So.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
My wife agrees with me that we need to stand
firm on our position, but is genuinely afraid that Casey
will never speak to us again. I understand that her
car was ruined, but I, as a parent, I need
to look out for all my children, not just one.
I also don't want to set the precedent that emotional
blackmail will work even if what you're asking for is unreasonable.
So am I the A hole? What do we think?
Is OP the A hole?

Speaker 3 (16:29):
I understand that OP is trying to do the thing
that works best for the family and is not doing
it maliciously, But I do think that he is not
doing the thing that benefits his daughters, either of them.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Yeah, I agree either either. I think accountability Yeah pretty rough,
pretty rough, but we got an update.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
But uh, is OP the a whole? I think OP
a hole?

Speaker 2 (16:53):
So comment one, anyone wondering how much convincing it took
for Casey to let Alana drive her car op no
convincing at all. We weren't even involved in the comba
between them. Commenter two, I'm with Casey on this one.
You're coddling your youngest and you have no idea if
having a job could actually help your youngest learn to
manage your time. You've left your oldest hanging. Edit Dad,
If Alana can get her driver's license, she can get

(17:14):
a job. In comment to three, you're the ale. You're
crapping all over Casey to protect Alana from the consequences
of her actions. If her condition is that bad, why
was she allowed to drive in the first place.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
This is a great point.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
It's great point. Yeah, and we got an update from
the wife. Ooh, little double trouble. Wow, double trouble.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
So I thirty nine female and my husband forty three male,
have two daughters, sixteen who will call Alanna and seventeen,
who I'll call Casey. Casey's held down a steady job
for over a year now and is able to get
herself a car now. She got this car right as
Alana passed her own driver's test, So there's a little
issue between who is going to be driving. After a
little persuasion, Casey did allow Alana to use her car

(17:54):
so long as somebody else paid for gas. We told
her that wasn't going to cut it. Alana doesn't have
money for that. It's her car, her responsibility keep gassing
it and keep it on the road.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Wait wait, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
That's an insane thing. That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Here's where it gets difficult. Alanna wrecked it about a
month ago. Luckily she was fine aside from broken wrist
in a mile concussion. But Casey was fuming the entire
time and seemed to have this expectation that we would
be replacing her car. Her and my husband got into it,
and she threw her arms up like a child and
stopped speaking to us. We coaxed her into going to
family therapy, though it wasn't productive, as she and the

(18:31):
therapist agreed that it'd be best to maintain the reduced
contact until she's paid back the therapist.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Degree therapist agreed.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Here's the problem. The car was fifteen grand. She saved
up every penny for a year for that car. She'd
asked us about it twice a week. If we changed
our mind, and obviously the answer was no, but that
was the only thing she'd say to us. It didn't
seem to bother my husband, and he kept saying she'll
get over it. Until last week she packed some things
and had my mother come get her. He's been saying
at her grandmother's for a little over a week now,

(18:59):
and she gave me a good earfull. Whatever Casey told her.
It worked because earlier today my husband and I were
informed we had thirty days to replace the car in
full or she was taking us to court.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Good. Yes, the therapist, your mom are all saying, yeah,
pay your daughter back.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
And I imagine you spent fifteen do you know? I
bet you they have the money to pay her back to.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, fifteen thousand dollars at seventeen.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
With everything that's eb I didn't.

Speaker 3 (19:29):
That's crazy. I had two dollars a sifty.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
I think my husband is admirable in wanting to stand
his ground, But the way I'm looking at it, we
have two options. And I am sick of my daughter
not talking to me because of crap. That is not
my fault.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
It is your daughter. Therefore it is your fault.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Alana has been a wreck. She's already battling severe ADHD
and now she's shaking at the thought of having to
appear in court.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
She doesn't have to appear in court if you pay
back your daughter.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
So I sat them both down and said, we have
two options. We can suck it up, pay fifteen thousand
dollars and have our daughter and sister back, and Alana
will just have to buck up and it works, yes, yes,
Or we can let my dad sue my husband and
I on Casey's behalf and almost certainly lose.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
At least they know.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
We spoke to four different firms and all four echoed
the similar sentiment that would probably cost us close to
triple in the end to bring it to court and
fight it there. So that's when I told my husband
that I am not going thirty grand further into debt
for him to hold the pettious grudge he's saying, I'm
being manipulative by holding this whole situation over his in
Alana's heads. I'm not saying it's not part my fault.

(20:35):
All I said was that no matter what, at the
end of the day, we owe Casey and he needs
to just accept that.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
Okay. So she's kind of come around.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
That's good.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
The threat, Oh my god, imagine the thread of like
legal action being the thing that I see to come around.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
Thank god Casey as her you know grandparents.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, I thank god. We have the law.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
We can afford fifteen thousand to replace the car. But
if we have to dish out double that just to
lose in court anyway, I'm divorcing him before he makes
that stake.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Also literally said we can afford fifteen k.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
In either case, I'm done not supporting both of my daughters.
We've tried reasoning with Casey and it has resulted in nothing.
I feel like I'm she's flip flopping.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Well, I feel like she's I don't know, kind of
come around with post.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, but she's like it's like she's kind of come around,
but she's like also mad about it. Yeah, it's almost
like what it feels like, it's like, logically, this is
what we need to do because we're going to owe
that money. Yeah, I'm mad about doing it.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, that's what it.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I agree. We've tried reasoning with Casey and it has
resulted in nothing. We lost this one. Am I the
a hole for trying to get my husband to accept it.
I feel I may be just for how long I
was being a passenger and no pun intended in the situation,
and for threatening my husband with divorce. I don't think
we did anything that wrong, but I'm willing to admit
when we made some mistakes and we have to make
up for it somehow.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
But yeah, the wife is the a.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Hole, right, So yeah, the consensus, but his wife is
also the a yeah for yeah, I mean, you guys are.
The only reason that she's kind of come around is
because of the legal art. M hmm, that's it. Yeah,
and they don't recognize their're wrongs.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
But we got some more stuff so relevant comments. Op
and her husband need to get Alana to pay Casey
back for damaging her car. Op, what is she supposed
to do, maguically come up with thousand dollars to pay
the oldest back. It's not a matter of not wanting
to hold people accountable. It's simply not realistic. I also
want to stay on the record, I was very against
Casey getting a car that nice as her first.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
She saved up her.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
Money, saved up her own money.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
She never listened. Interurns would have likely paid for some
if she would have just put her sister as an
approved driver on the plan, it would not have been difficult.
But no, it's not a Lota's fault that she has ADHD.
It's not like she wrecked it on purpose. Come to one,
Casey saved up fifty thousand dollars and didn't pay the
three hundred dollars a month to get insurance. Nope, sounds
like Alana wrote this and doesn't know how insurance works.

(22:48):
Oh did Alana write this? Alana pay for the gas
if you drive the car. The op says she had insurance,
But they really screwed us over because Casey didn't approve
Alana as a driver on the plan. That was a
big determining factor in us to decide a whole firm.
If Alana would have been approved on the plan, we
would have covered the remainder on what the insurance was offering.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Why wouldn't they have done that?

Speaker 2 (23:09):
But this is the result of Casey's decision. Hence I
agreed with my husband that it's fully her responsibility. I
just didn't expect her to sue us out of nowhere
like this, and I especially didn't expect my parents to
be enabling this behavior what's in her best interest. Might
suck now, but she'll learn from it in the future.
My husband's been fuming for weeks over this, and a
lot of you are saying he even made a post.
But if they ruled not the a hole, then he

(23:30):
wasn't telling the full story. A lot of broke her
arm and that wreck and all Casey's cared about the
past month is her.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Car in fifteen fifteen thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
That's the genesis behind the family therapy, and I'm very
concerned that so many people are supporting her entitled behavior.
OPI is blaming her parents for enabling Casey and just
suing op and her husband. Opi says, I'm not absolving
them of blame either. They're the ones enabling Casey and
all this. Are you forgetting that it's my mom and
dad suing on her. Behalf your nuts. If you think
they won't be hearing from me, results will be danged.

(23:58):
I'm getting angry telephone calls for a week over this crapstorm.
Somebody has to answer for that. Even her uncles are
on her side in this, probably because she's right.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, the fact that the like the law her family,
the therapist are all on her side.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Like at this point, you got to ask yourself, maybe
you're in the wrong.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
I'm like, if we're, if you're. It just really upsets
me that they're like, well, she made a choice to
not have Alana be insured. It's like, I'm sorry, if
your seventeen year old daughter and your sixteen year old
daughter are working out their own, like driving deal, maybe
check in, yeah, to make sure all the insurance is okay.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, I think you know what. I could hear them saying,
it's like, well, it's your responsibility to insure your car,
so you should insure it with everyone who would be
driving it.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Probably, yeah, probably, yeah, just like like they're expecting Casey
to pay for gas.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
Op On what she and her husband do for Casey,
Opie says, we feed her, we clothe her, We were
going to send her to college. He had a place
to park that car because of us. And oh, by
the way, my husband got under there and fixed the
tyrod about a month ago after she got it. For
all of you saying about how awful he is.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
He's not. He loves Casey both too.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
But I didn't see her putting that car up in
the air to redo the brakes and fix the AC
when she hit a deer.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
That was all her father.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I figured that allowing her sister to also drive their
car was more than a fair ass for all he
did and is a big reason why I supported him,
and I just hate that I apparently can't support him
and love my daughters.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
That sounds a little bit different their car. Then Alana's saying, oh,
can I drive your car? And Casey's saying yeah, of course.
That sounds like he helped fix Alana's or Casey's car
and then said can you let Alana drive your car?
That's what that sentence sounds like. I don't know if
I'm miss reading or reading into it, but it sounds
like I feel like.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
We're getting like weird information here.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
I know, I think that we're getting more and more.
It sounds to me like Casey hit a deer, something
got messed up in the car. Dad comes and fixes
it and says, Oh, because I helped you, you have
to let Alana drive your car. That's what this sounds
like to me.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
How does that make you feel?

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Not good?

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Why?

Speaker 3 (26:09):
Because it makes me feel like they're lying to us.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, I feel like they're lying to make themselves look better.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
I don't know. It feels like unreliable narrator.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
I agree, But if that's the resolution you all want,
forget it. Casey's going to take us to court and
then when she loses, she's going to throw another fit.
But that's better than dishing out fifteen K for a
car we're not even going to drive. It's not lost
on me that we owe her. We just don't owe
her that much. She'll come around when she realizes how
the world works.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
It works, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Another update, we're like barely more than halfway through.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
They're gonna they are going to come crashing down so hard, hard.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
But let's get into this next update. Three weeks later.
It's been a few weeks since I last updated, and
I want to start out by addressing a few things
that opened my eyes a little bit in regards to
the situation.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
Let's hope the eyes are open.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
The first thing being my husband's post, which came well
before my own, and I fought over that. I truthfully
didn't love that he used real names. However, when I
found out he posted for the sake of transparency, I
used real names as well. But with that being said,
I went through with the difficult decision to serve him
divorce papers.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
I'm confused. I'm confusing. It sounds like it.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
Was the wife's perspective. And the last thing we just
heard it right, the one where she was like, yeah,
we're taking them out of court. Yeah, because originally she
was like, I'm going to divorce him if we go
to court, and then she was like, I'm taking her
to court.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
And then she's like, she's like, I'm not going to
take her to court, but like she's going to find
out if she takes this to court, how you know
it's going to be is Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
But it feels like she's partly on his.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Side, yes, which is why it doesn't make.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Sense to really abbreviate things.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
I went to therapy, as a lot of you suggested,
and I was assessed with the diagnosis for the for
an obsessive compulsive disorder. In my second session and in
my third session, we discussed the whole car situation, and
my personal therapist explained it to me in a way
that made it hard not to feel awful for Casey.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Now we have two therapist.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
Like you aft over Casey discussion, we had covered quite
a lot with the common denominator and everything that's been
going wrong in large part has been my husband.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
But you supported his decision.

Speaker 3 (28:13):
You'se such playing such a getting well, she's.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Victim, she's herself.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Yeah, oh it wasn't my fault. It was my husband
all along.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Read back your last post. Yeah, he's the reason Casey
shared her car. He's the reason Alana got hurt driving
on her own, and he's the reason we're set for
court and barely a week and still don't have an attorney.

Speaker 3 (28:35):
Okay, so again we have now confirmation that he did,
in fact ask Casey to share the car.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Dude, I think she's divorcing him so she.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Doesn't have to pay for the fifteen K. Yeah, yeah,
that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Well and me, I don't know what I've been doing,
but it hasn't been being a mother, if I'm honest.
One of you asked me straight up, why was I
being a passenger? And I just don't have a good answer.
I let my parents know about that, and they were
a little concerned. But what I didn't expect was for
Casey to reach out. Last time we talked was mostly
her and my husband butting heads. I really thought she
was about to turn on a spit, but I've never
heard her cry like that, at least not since she

(29:12):
was much younger. I make it a little bit more
than my husband, but finding apartment was brutal, especially with
Alana wanting to come with me. I don't think I
was clear enough about how badly I wanted to pay
Casey back before, but I do. Most of my money
is in joint savings, though, so there isn't much I
can afford. But my husband wasn't going to back down.
I won't lie. I was selfish. I beg Casey to
drop my name from her suit.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Uh huh wow, shocking. We're all shocked.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
I told her I would pay what I could afford
to get this second, which wasn't much in comparison, and
she told me that it wasn't so much the car
or the value on its own she wanted back. It
was the security to have something of her own. And
she listed off probably dozens of instances where Alana got
first pick over her and it was very hard to refuse.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
So Alana is golden child. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
She told me that losing that much money sucked, which
I fully in, but the bigger loss to her was
that her first big girl purchase, which a lot of
friends and family were excited about, was now going to
be remembered as a family ending disaster.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
I just don't understand how they could not get how
big of a deal fifteen thousand dollars is to anyone,
to anyone, and eaten like most of all is seventeen yel.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
We agreed to breakfast next week and joint therapy US two,
and her only condition was that I don't at any
point tried to save him from the suit, which I
agreed to. Alana came to me even before my last post,
saying she only drove so far because my now ex
husband pressured her into picking up a grocery order early
for something he wanted to make. Has also changed my perspective.
I was under the impression that she was doing her
own thing, but even my husband owned up to it,

(30:41):
which is ground my gears. But I put it together.
A legal driver, an expensive car, not insured, and under pressure,
Alana drove. But I've come to realize that my ex
husband seems to have a tendency to like pressure people.
My God, he's pressured me a lot too. I don't know, dude,
I feel like she's on taking you any responsible.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
She got herself off the suit.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
Yeah, he probably pressured Casey into letting Alana drive at all,
which brings me back to her, and he finished our
talk with better terms. I owe her so much more
than breakfast, and I'm just beyond grateful that she's even
willing to look at me. I've seen a lot of
bold assumptions that I hate Casey, and then I vastly
favor a lot out. Yeah, I mean that's kind of
been true, but I only feel the second part was
ever accurate. I've never hated my own daughter. I was

(31:21):
frustrated with her over something I've come to realize wasn't
her fault. As of now, I'm just adjusting to a
much quieter place in my pham buzzing NonStop. I've only
been moved out for five days, and Alta seems so
much less anxious to me.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
At least.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
It's odd because my place now isn't anywhere near what
the house is. But I think last night, probably the
first time I've slept eight hours since high school. Today
was productive, And for Casey, I'll admit I hope she wins.
I hope she gets her car and then some. As
for the divorce, I don't want much material. I won't
say no to it. I'd rather just have my shared
joint savings and try to tackle my own issues, of
which I guess I have more than I would have

(31:54):
been willing to admit a month ago. I know I'm
going to get pelted, most likely, but I want you
to know I'm thankful. The Internet is me, but it
tells the truth. And however this turns out, it's largely
her comment's helped me see what I was doing was wrong,
and who was enabling those things, and most importantly, how
I could stop it. It's time like this where my
dad would tell me I'm not lucky, I'm privileged. I
think that applies here. I'm privileged that my daughter didn't

(32:15):
just laugh, even though she could and arguably should have.
There's another element update, But what do we feel about
everything this person is saying?

Speaker 3 (32:23):
I don't trust her.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
I don't trust her.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
I don't trust her.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
I feel like she's going to use this in court
as a.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
Way, Like I don't know, I just think it's like
really convenient timing, too convenience, you know, like she was
still kind of culpable in the in the whole car
situation so much so, and now she's now completely exonerated
herself from any of them on it, you know, giving
back any of that money.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I think she's fully protecting herself. Yeah, but there is
some more update.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
So that's the update.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
I'll date whenever Casey and I meet, barring she's comfortable
with it, and then you probably won't hear from me
until the whole suitent of verse is over and done with.
I just want to read it to know I hear
you all. I wish I could have seen the reason
when I first posted. I'm frustrated reading my own comments.
Therapy is a powerful thing, and so Comdrauan. It's great
that you seem to have changed your tune a bit,
but this still screams are of avoiding being held accountable.

(33:17):
Your ex husband may have been the driving force behind
the fault with Casey, but you were trying very hard
to place blame on Casey in your initial post and
subsequent comments, and it's hard for me to believe you.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Switch side that easily.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Oh, Casey gets the outcomes you deserve from all this,
whether that's your ex husband being taken to the cleaners,
or both of you comment through two, you're still the ale.
You allow this all to happen. Your daughter bought the
car and it was okay to let the other daughter
drive it and not have to pay for gas. Take
some responsibility and realize you are a crap parent.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
That is where that story ends.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Frustrating, Yeah, I think it's.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Just frustrating that, like her kind of revelation is, oh,
I was never at fault for anything. It was always
my husband. He was bad guy all alonge.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, I like, I'm just appalled that she doesn't believe
that people would see through that.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I'm massive charad.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, like you don't just like get out of it
that it's not one therapy appointment, and it's like.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
Therapy has changed me so much. No, you go to
years of therapy and maybe become less of it. Yeah, yeah,
what do you think, young, I'm.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
Gonna say she definitely flipped after she posted that, and
then the internet was like year and a.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Hole flipping while she was posting it. Even in the
post it was I'm like, this doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 5 (34:32):
No, She's like, wait, no, no.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
I swear I swear I didn't do anything wrong, but
that is where that story ends. Hey, Sam, we're gonna
get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of
bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
I recently discovered my nephew's biological father. I'm not sure
what to do. Challenge him to a duel. My sister, Cherry,
and I had a difficult upbringing. I won't go into details,
but we both reacted to that differently. I became very
hard working and don't have a lot of trust and men.
My sister needed men and constantly bounce from one to

(35:07):
the other, not doing much else. By the way, this
comes from raising my nephew. And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subredd it. Yes, so I thought that would have
changed when she got pregnant. The father was some man
she met at the club or she worked, and she
seemed really happy that this would latch him in. But
the baby was clearly Hispanic and not his, so that

(35:28):
didn't last long. She'd been moaned that she was sure
now who the dad was, but couldn't really remember his
last name. He has a distant first name. But I
tried to help her find him, and we didn't. She
ended up moving in with me and bringing Alexander with her.
I was not enthused. I didn't want to live with
the baby. I was finishing college and wanted to focus

(35:48):
on me, But so did Cherry. I told her when
she moved in, I would only babysit sometimes and that
he was her responsibility. But slowly that changed.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
I mean, she out, you got uncle responsibilities. I'm sorry
that you didn't think you would become primary uncle.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah. I'd wake up and he'd be crying and she
was gone, or I'd come home and his diaper was
soaked through. I took care of him at first because
somebody had to, and then I fell in love with him.
I don't think Cherry ever did the whole thing unravel
even more when she met this guy. Alexander was five
months old and she moved out to be with the
new guy. She said, the best thing that could have

(36:28):
happened for Xander, that was her nickname for him, was
if she got married to a guy with money and
she could get him out of the tiny dingy apartment
and give him nice things, because that's what he wants.
He wants nice things.

Speaker 4 (36:40):
Not a mom, right, I'm sure that the three year
old is concerned with the quality of the goods surrounding him.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Mom, I don't have my Gucci flip flops on. I
need Gucci flip flops. Don't worry.

Speaker 5 (36:52):
Mommy's going to Equinox to find a good husband for us.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
I do believe she meant that, and one of the
best for him. I've raised him on my own ever since.
And a little after Alexander's first birthday, Cherry has to
weig in a car accident and I became his legal guardian.
Oh my god, what.

Speaker 4 (37:11):
Oh god, dude, that's yeah, well, I mean, the decision
has been made for everyone in that context, it's terrible.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
H Thursday, I went to give a lecture given by
a man that with a unique first name and astracing
resemblance to Alexander. They even had the same calc. Afterwards,
I spoke to him and learned that other details matched up.
Uh oh. He seemed like a nice, educated, thoughtful man.
He gave me his number in case I had more
questions about his research. What kind of research are we

(37:41):
looking into here?

Speaker 4 (37:42):
I think I think we're researching. Is this guy the
dad that was so quick.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
I mean, that's like the Thursday after your sister pass
away or this Thursday. That's got it. That's that's freaky.
Which Thursday are we talking about? That's freaky. There has
to have been time that went by, right, I hope. Yeah. Well,
if Thursday happened, that's too freak.

Speaker 4 (38:01):
Thursday almost immediately, that's too freaky. No, there's no way
this is I'm calling it. There's a time gap. It's
just not written down.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
I think it was just last Thursday, all right. Anyways,
I'm fairly certain that that man is Alexander's father. Feel
like I've been stabbed in the gut. I love him
so much. I know he isn't mine, he feels like
he's mine. I've always been there for him since he
was just a baby. He calls me mama. I know
everything about him. That he had horrible ear infections when
he was a baby, that you have to read to

(38:28):
him before he goes to bed. He's afraid to go
down the big side unless you go with him. His
current obsession with any vehicle that moves. I know him,
and I don't know what I'd do without him or
him me. I understand the protection of the maternal protections
is like, I don't want to know who the dad
is because there's a chance that they could take the
kid away from me. You know, because if this guy's

(38:48):
a teacher, lives in a good house, has all these things,
he can provide more for the kid. Thus, you know,
George could be like whoa hmm, seems like this good
should be with this person and not you.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Yeah, I mean it's a fair because you've raised this kid.
So we did have some clarification. So it's like, for
all intensive purposes, you've raised this kid for three years,
you're his mom.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
You're his mom, but those fears kids still coming in head.

Speaker 4 (39:09):
Well I get it, but I mean, like I think
Ope's perspective of like, I mean, it's like, what, you know,
what could happen because it's like I don't really have
any rights because I'm not his mom or anything. And
it's like, but like any reasonable person, yeah, which you'd hope,
like the dad would just be really like, oh, I
just want the kid to have a good life.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Clearly you have become the child's mother, but you're a
little bit more about Opie's past. She doesn't really trust men. Yeah,
So Oh no, I mean I understand where her head's at.

Speaker 4 (39:33):
I think I think you guys could probably come to
a fair agreement if it's the case.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
You know, he has fed, clean and sheltered, but money
is time. I have a better job than before since
I graduated, but everything is on me, and I feel
like it never stretches far enough. He got sick before
his birthday a few months ago, and between time off work,
doctor visits, and medicine, I could only buy him a
few small presents in a homemade cake. There is also
the idea of him deserving more family. He only has

(39:59):
me now. Sometimes I'm terrified at the idea of something
happening to me, him going into foster care. There isn't
anybody else. And finally, small part of me is like,
how do I know this is not just a coincidence?
What if I ruined this small, fleeting career I'm developing
by accusing a respective individual in the field of being
my nephew's dad. How would I even tell him? And

(40:21):
we have an update, Oh dude, we're like an eight through. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
I think all you can do now is just like
just try to start the conversation. Don't make it like
a it's not an accusation. It's not like a I
got you. It's like a, hey, so this might be crazy.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, I would invite him the coffee, like, hey, this
sounds weird, but I would like to talk to you
about some things over coffee, about your research. And then
it's gonna be a hard conversation. It's gonna be uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
Like, so, have you ever wanted to kids? Because you
have one? Have you ever be sure?

Speaker 5 (40:51):
Have you ever liked mine?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Been with anyone that looks kind of similar to me?

Speaker 3 (40:55):
But it's not actually my kid.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
It's my sisters. Yeah, but it's yours too, but we
have another. A lot has happened since my original post. First,
I took a moment to think about everything I knew
about him. The name unusual to his country, think something
like Greek man with a traditionally Latin American name, just
as an example. The sport he played in the general

(41:16):
strong resemblance to Alexander. I just kind of knew, but
I was secretly hoping I was wrong. I consulted a
lawyer Goodbye emergency fund and was advised to not act
on it. But if that I did, he could get
my child support and ensure that the dad would only
share custody. This was comforting, especially when he texted me,
having got my number from a mutual friend. He asked

(41:38):
me to have coffee because of my thesis had interest him.
I think he knows something. I think he knows something.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
Yeah, he's like your thesis is interesting. Also, that kid
looks like me, like exactly, which is crazy.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
I was highly flattered, and realizing that regardless, I wouldn't
lose Alexander, I decided to meet up with him. There
was a chance he was my nephew's father, and alex
deserved the opportunity to meet his father. If this was
in fact his father, If nothing else, this would be
a good opportunity for my career with a pleasant individual
in my career. We had a lovely lunch and I

(42:10):
finally braved the question and talking about the nightlife if
he'd ever gone to the bar Cherry worked at. He grimaced,
and he said he'd gone there for a while when
he was less mature, but that he didn't care for
that scene anymore. I asked if you had ever met
a waitress named Cherry. He grimaced again even more and
admitted he had Ooh, that's bad too. He is like,

(42:33):
uh yeah, oh I do know her. Oh God, this
is my kid, isn't it. So I told him he
fit the description of my nephew's father and I thought
he had the right to know. He was obviously upset,
demanding all kind of information Alexander's daub a picture. He
wanted to talk to Cherry, but obviously that could have happened.

(42:53):
He did accuse me of being out for money, but
simmerdown when I told him this was a you ought
to know thing and if he walked out, I would
not follow him or contact him. Then he calmed down
and he said he would have a blood test done immediately.
Within a week, the results were back, saying that we
were both afraid of Alexander was his son?

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Oh okay, so we've gets SUSPICI since confirmed.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Since then we have formed a weird co parenting arrangement.
He's adamant that he doesn't want to take Alexander away,
but he is equally adamant that he'd be in his life.
But I'm not a monster. I won't do that to him.
At first, I think he wanted full custody, but after
seeing alex and our home and how attached we are.
He has dropped that idea completely and now is hoping

(43:40):
to build up visitation and do a fifty to fifty
one day. We have left the lawyers out of this
so far true your title money he could. I don't know.
I don't know how about leaving the lawyers out.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
I just feel like, well, in the first place, this
guy's got better lawyers than you. Oh yeah, so it
doesn't matter. Like if you bring lawyers into it, you're
getting screwed anyway. And you know what's the You're gonna say,
the kid needs his mom that's raised him his whole life,
and you should not take him away.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
And then what's gonna happen? Like one day it's like,
come on, I.

Speaker 4 (44:12):
Think we're all in agreement among all the parties there. Yeah,
it's just, hey, look at this cool thing that can happen.
Now you can see your kid and he can see
his dad, and I'm his mom still and you're not
gonna just take him.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
But it's good. Alexander is excited to see him now.
He comes regularly every day. When they first met, he
refused to speak and cried when he picked him up
and talks about his dad fairly often the past week.
I am still nervous and scared, but this may be
a good thing. I hope update too.

Speaker 5 (44:44):
Oh boy.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
In the past month, Alexander and his father have grown
closer and he has become an integral part of our lives.
There are a lot of advantages to having someone help out. However,
some problems have recently come out about and I am
flummoxed about how to. I can't really take their relationship back,
and I wouldn't want to if I could, so I

(45:05):
need advice that encourages Alexander having both of us in
his life. It started, ironically, the day I posted the
second update, my car died on the highway. From picking
Alexander up from K through three. I called him to
let his dad know we would be running late for dinner.
His dad was furious. He claimed my car was unsafe
and unreliable and said I could not drive his son

(45:26):
around in it. I explained that this was a minor
issue and it will be fixed, and that not everyone
could afford brand new cars, and even with maintenance, crap happens.
He was not appeased. He proceeded to drop a car
off at my house the next day without asking my opinion.
This is a very expensive car, and I would have
never bought it. I told him I didn't want the car,
which he caused another fight and offended him. I ended

(45:48):
up accepting it to keep the peace, and when he
informed me that I can consider it basically child support,
which I am not entitled to. He also mentioned maybe
we should go to the lawyers so he wouldn't have
to worry about Alexander's leaving below his standards and being
unsafe in cars.

Speaker 4 (46:03):
Okay, buddy, oh no, that's not like a new Mercedes
is a dangerous car. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
I don't like this is how this is going. That
that first conversation should have been a red flag. I
was just thinking that he was shocked and accusing.

Speaker 4 (46:18):
But yeah, I was letting him off on that too,
of like the you just want my money and then
being like okay, okay, actually okay, but it's like, yeah,
it's it is a big red flag if that's the
first thing this guy jumps to. That's foundationally like how
he views life through that first it's all money, first value,
first quality, first of.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
My material goods. Yeah, which you know, I feel like
he's slowly coming up with ways to get his son
in full custody. Oh you have an unsafe car. Oh
you're a single mother. Oh yeah, not looking good. Not
looking good. This was my first clue that I was
sharing child with someone who, while I personally like a lot,
has a lot more power than I do. Our next

(47:00):
incident occurred last week when Alex fell from the jungle
gym and heard his wrist at school. He goes to
a very good K through three with certified teachers and
camera access for parents. It may not be rich, but
I have prioritized him being in a good environment. Dude,
awesome aunt, Oh my gosh. I called Alex's dad again
to let him know that Alex had fallen and we
were getting his risks X rayed, and he rushed down

(47:22):
immediately leaving work. He was very upset, and after we
got home and Alex was in bed, kept saying that
he was obviously not being watched correctly, and a boy
this young needed to be at home with his mother,
not being ignored by strangers and also not being around
other kids and having a good social structure, and should
be at home with a tradwife.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
Wait, I'm sorry, did he just did this man just
deny the importance of like preschool?

Speaker 1 (47:51):
I told him all the lovely things about the school,
but he then decided it must not be nice enough.
He asked me what if it had been his neck?
He understood that I didn't have any other choices, but
now I did. He went to the school for the
day and was mostly soothed, but he still tried to
ask if I wanted to work part time so he
could pay the difference. I told him no, and he
has not brought it up since then. So we have

(48:12):
had two differences of opinions this past month. But the
biggest issues happened yesterday when he mentioned that for Christmas
he wanted to take Alex home to his home country
to meet his extended family for nine days.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
Okay, no, I think now is the time where you
need to start getting into like legal arrangements, because it's
it feels like this guy at any point could be like, well,
I'm saving my child from being poor, which is absurd.
And if you don't have the trust to be like, oh,
this guy will bring my hour kid back after a

(48:48):
week and a half, then you need to make sure
now that you have the legal you know, frameworks in
place to protect your rights as the kids guardian.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
This is terrifying because a small part of this is
he won't bring him back. Obviously, he has a life
and a job here. If you want a custody probably
could try to get there first rather than leave it
all behind. I mentioned how this was a long time
for Alex to be away from me, and he said,
of course you will come too, but I didn't have
the time off work. I try to change his mind,
but he thinks that Alex should meet his family and

(49:19):
his home country. I would love that in theory, and
I completely get how I spend every Christmas with my family,
and Alex is my family. I've already spent three Christmases
without him. I don't want a fourth. Dude, you only
knew about him the last one. Oh, this is a
valid feeling on his part, but I'm terrified, and honestly,
even if he has no alterior motives, that is a

(49:40):
long time for Alex to be away from me. He's
never spent a night away from me. What should I
do first? You got to get legal things in here.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
You should say that first. Yeah, you should say, hey,
that's a cool idea. Did you know he's never spent
a night away from me, So nine days away from
me with you, a person he doesn't really know that well. Oh,
but he likes he doesn't He doesn't know you that well.
Not gonna go very well, not gonna go down very smoothly.
So either bring me or let's wait a little bit

(50:09):
longer for this.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah. Update three, We have had some good things occur
in the past few days. I told Alex that I
was not comfortable with the trip. There was no way
I could go, and Alex was just too little. That
kind of trip would be stressful under the best of circumstances.
He thankfully agreed and apologized. There we go. He said
he would spend the holiday state side, but admitted that

(50:31):
he would miss his family terribly and that this was
his first Christmas away from them, and that Alex is
the first grandchild, so they were extremely excited to meet him.
I stood my ground, even though I did feel bad.
Uh oh. I offered a trial overnight to work towards
this big of a step, and he was extremely excited.
Alex was also excited. However, he woke up in the

(50:52):
middle of the night and was extremely upset. Leander had
to bring Alex home and was very abashed. Oh Okay
admitted that he had been considering trying to sway my
mind on the trip, but now he saw that it
wouldn't work. Then we had the real heart to heart,
and honestly, there isn't a lot of middle ground. We
can't cut Alex in half, and we both love him desperately,

(51:15):
We both want to see him daily, and we both
are terrified of the other. I mentioned that I would
love to formally adopt Alex and stabilize our relationship legally.
He said he would never do that because legally he'd
be an idiot to give up legal claim to his son,
and that right now he had the upper hand. He does.
My lawyer admitted he could easily most likely get me
fifty to fifty, but that's all half of the week

(51:37):
with him gone, and that might go away anytime. He
doesn't want to use it, but won't lose it either.
He is terrified of me marrying, me moving and Alex
loving me more. I'm terrified of him trying to take
him away and of not having him here every day.
Neither of us can have him completely, but he isn't
a possession. He is a little boy, and we are

(51:57):
going to do our best to share him and raise him. Right,
we are basically strangers, so sharing is hard and it
is easy for us to generalize the other. But I
do somewhat trust him, and I know that he loves Alex.
And we got another update and we are like three
fifths through all right, yeah, update four. Well, the situation
does not seem to be getting any easier. In a way,

(52:20):
having someone to help share the load of raising Alex
is wonderful. I can think, oh, maybe Alex's dad can
run by the store, or I can read while they play.
But despite that relief, I am still terrified. Leander hasn't
done anything to make me feel terrified, and as a
real gentleman, very quick to concede to me over small things.
But that is small things. Just last Friday, I gave

(52:41):
him a few hours along with Alex while I went
to the movies with a friend. I was excited raising
a three year old. Well, I don't get a date
or hang out, but just doesn't happen. But this is
a guy I know through work. Waite Wade is attractive,
age barber and someone who if I had more free time,
I would have definitely dated. Now that I have more
free time, I do think about dating in a distant,

(53:01):
bear off way. When Wade dropped me off, Leander and
Alex were already there and Alex was getting ready for bed.
I could already tell that Leander was in a mood.
When I got inside, I assumed that Alex had been difficult,
but he told me he was fine. When he said
it after Alex was tucked in. Something that makes me
terrified for our coperiting relationship. Well, I don't know how

(53:22):
you think you can handle Alex and a relationship. You
are his mother. He doesn't need you off with men.
I was shocked, and he apologized, saying that he had
misspoken and meant to ask me how I would balance
dating in the past. He said that was a language issue. Ah,
I say, that's nonsense, bs bs. I have never heard

(53:42):
him misspeak or misuse words in the entire time we've met.
Since then, he's been entirely pleasant. He even brought over
dinner and a few small gifts. He's been on his best,
most charming, pleasant, perfect nephew's dad behavior. But this is
another complication. I really don't want to date Wade. But
I want to date someone someday. One day, I'm going
to want a bigger life than this. But I am

(54:03):
terrified I won't get it. And I'm terrified that charming
Leander might not be so charming if I seriously date someone.

Speaker 5 (54:10):
Maybe he's just jealous, he wants you to date him.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Problem. Maybe this is the.

Speaker 4 (54:13):
Hallmark movie script of your story, and now is the
time that you have to go.

Speaker 5 (54:18):
Wait, has it been Leander along?

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Yeah? Have you not seen Leander with your gazing eyes?

Speaker 4 (54:23):
I hope not, though, because honestly, I'm not liking the
way he's moving. I don't like the way Leander moves.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
I don't like his motion.

Speaker 4 (54:29):
I don't like the way that it seems like everything
is always like a way to get more leverage.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
In the parenting context, my lawyer referred to me to
someone else. He said he didn't think you could help me,
and I haven't heard back. I'm so sorry to be
back at it, but this is plaguing me and I
really don't have any other avenues to event advice. Update
five background. I have basically been raising my nephew Alexanderson's
birth even before his mother's passing. For all intents and purposes.

(54:55):
He is my son and I'm his mother. Yes, he's
gonna happy, healthy, all around great case, and I feel
like I've done a good job. Anytime I doubt it,
I look at him and I'm reassured. However, five months ago,
I had the opportunity to introduce his father, who did
not know about him, into his life. He is a
teacher and does more well off than I do. I did,
and it's been very difficult situation. I've been trying to

(55:16):
deal with this without resorting to internet advice, but I'm
at this point now where even if no advice is
something I can take. It is nice to be able
to vent what is going on honestly, and I don't
have to worry about it. I guess I need more
in real life friends. It's just hard when you're young
and have a small kid, and I was just getting
used to not juggling work, Alex and school when this

(55:37):
all happened. For the past two months, things have been
mostly good. It is nice to share the time and
worrying of a raising a little boy. Alex got sick
last month and I called in for work. For once,
I didn't worry about the missing money or the doctor's bill,
because I knew if I did fall short, Leander would help.
He came over that night with Sup brought suit but

(55:58):
still and say it overnight to help. So when I
would have been dealing with a fussy, achy sick boy
for two nights, only had one night. He's over almost
every day. His favorite adult soda is in my fridge
and he texts me about dinner. I think it'd be
strange or weird, but it's become our new normal. I've
refused outright money, but I do drive the car he
bought mine actually caught on fire not too long after

(56:20):
the original fiasco. Oh my gosh, so Bro's gonna.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
Right Coan, Yeah, you know you want to make sure you.

Speaker 5 (56:26):
May you know, regularly inspect and maintain your vehicle.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
And when he brings over groceries and things for Alex,
I don't eject. And Leander has mostly been an absolutely
charming pleasure to have around. I've been leaving him with
Alex for short periods of time, like store runs, and
have suggested some father son outings for him, but he
always insists I come because I deserve to have fun
with Alex too, So we've gone on go karts and

(56:52):
arcades and go to see the Good Dinosaur and fed
ducks and frozen yogurt. Man, it's been nice. I can
feel myself slipping into complacence sometimes. I love Alex, and
Alex loves Leander. I genuinely like Leander and will consider
him a friend, maybe my closest friend, even though I
understand it's a little sad considering I've only been with
him four months and he could easily take away the

(57:13):
most important thing in my life. The most recent compelling
factor occurred Thursday night on New Year's Eve. A friend
from work we'll call her Lacey, inviting me to a party.
We usually don't hang outside of work, but again, I
could use more friends. Leander offered to stay with Alex,
and I thought it would be nice for them too.
Although I left after his bedtime and came back at
one am while he was still sleepy, Lacy picked me

(57:35):
up at nine thirty, and it was nice to do
something social. I'm not a big drinker, but I had
a good time. Lacey had a very good time. She
met a guy. When I realized this that we had
completely different ideas of a late night, I got a
ride home from another coworker, Gregor, who was also wanted
a good night's sleep before work in the morning. He
dropped me off and we talked for about ten minutes,
and then I went inside. Lander was huffy the entire

(57:57):
next night. Eventually said he was annoyed to be you
used as a babysitter. Well, I went out wanton lee.
That was his exact wording he used. I was very
upset and explained that first of all, it was entirely innocent,
but second of all, even if I did meet a man,
what would really be the horm In that He apologized
and explained that he felt taken aback by it and
that it was the way he was raised, but that

(58:19):
he doesn't usually let that be his lens for the world.
He even added that he thinks he used the wrong
word misspoke. I think Leander's into you and he doesn't
know how to explain it. Oh really, that would be juicy.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
I think he thinks that, like because he's been crushing like,
you know, stereotypical success so well that he's like, oh yeah,
being a dad's like what, It's not gonna be even
hard at all. She's gonna do it and it's gonna
be fine. I'll crush it because I'm so like rich
and successful yep.

Speaker 5 (58:47):
And then he's gonna wake up to the fact that that's.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Not that works, how that works at all. English is
a second language. However, I've never heard him misspeak before.
He is very eloquent and barely has an accent, and
he uses English for his business. He offered to take
me to dinner without Alex to talk more about it,
but I felt uncomfortable. It was unexpected and out of nowhere,
and I felt like a dog who had been punted.

(59:11):
We're almost on the story, Dakota. Do you have any
other thoughts before we close out?

Speaker 4 (59:15):
I think you can really just like put it on
the table and be like, hey, so it really feels
like you treat me differently because like we're not in
the same tax bracket.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
And I want you to know that my financial status
has no impact on my ability to be a good
parent to this shot.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:31):
So I would appreciate it if you stop sort of
hinting or implying those things, because it's just not true.
Because you could take the kid in, he could spend
a weekend at your house and he'd come back traumatized
because you have no idea how to take care of him.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
It sounds like he's taking all right care of him,
but yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of miscommunication.
He's back on his best behavior, but I can't erase
that from my mind. I feel like, if something so
small can jeffrasize his view of me, not to mention
it brings up the fact that one day I will
probably want to day meets someone in May Mary, et cetera.
I can't see Leander ever being okay with another man
being so prominent in his son's life. I don't know

(01:00:06):
what to think of all this. I'm still really low
on options, and honestly, I'm not even sure how to
phrase this all into a question. I am half hoping
that someone will type out a thoughtful, solution filled response.
And you got a thoughtful solution filled podcast, dude, right here,
giving you awesome things to do. I know you got
to togical Leander be like, yop is, how was gonna run?

(01:00:26):
This is what I want for my kid, and I
understand you're his dad. Yeah, but we don't merely have
that many options to complete stranger's co parenting.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Yeah, Hey, it's Sam. We're go get back to the stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (01:00:40):
I used to admire my grandmother, but it changed in
the blink of an eye.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
What did you do, Granny?

Speaker 4 (01:00:46):
I'm a twenty year old female who has a deep
rooted rage against one of my relatives, Brenda and her husband.
Brenda is my maternal grandmother's sister, and she is close
to our family. By the way, this comes from us
Okay Accountant ninety five twenty and if you some of
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.
So Brenda had always been cold towards my mother and uncle.

(01:01:07):
The reason for her behavior was due to my grandfather
and not being as rich as Brenda's husband. Brenda would
always do petty things to hurt my family. After my
mom was married to my father, Brenda expressed her coldness
to my father too. My father never liked her or
her husband and always kept his distance. One time, my
father had a heart attack and Brenda and her husband
offered my mom and me to stay with her. I

(01:01:28):
was just thirteen years old, and since my mom had
to travel every day to the hospital, she accepted her offer,
and we stayed with her until my father got discharged.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
All right, that's pretty solid.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
I mean, that's kind of a sweet move, But knowing
how her personality is, I bet that was like pulling teeth.
During that time, Brenda's husband made an arrangement so that
his office would pay my school's hefty readmission fee for
that year. I was extremely grateful to Brenda and her
husband for that. My mom and I both told everyone
we knew how great of a help Brenda has been.
I was prepared to stay obliged to them for the

(01:01:59):
rest of my life.

Speaker 5 (01:02:00):
However, my view on them was about to change.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
After a few days, when my father was discharged, I
went to Brenda's place with my mother. Brenda started making
comments on how my mom was stupid. She remarked how
my mother had consumed all my father's money and everything
was her fault. She even said my mother was dumber
than a six year old.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Oh, okay, there she is.

Speaker 5 (01:02:21):
These comments made something inside me.

Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
Burn I came home and told my parents I never
wished to visit Brenda again. I told them how I
was grateful to her, but still would never be able
to put up with her.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Ill behavior.

Speaker 4 (01:02:33):
Both of my parents supported me and respected my decision.
After some time, I, along with my family, went to
an event where Brenda was present. The whole day, she
was complimenting my cousin, Lily, my uncle's daughter, on how
beautiful and nice she is, and Brenda was doing all
of this in front of me. Mind you, I was
fifteen at the time. I realized Brenda had two intentions.

(01:02:55):
One was hurting me, as I knew she gained immense
satisfaction from hurting people who she sees as inferior to her.
The other, and the main reason, was my uncle now
was in a better position than Brenda financially.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
Oh, it's all about.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
The money, money, money, money.

Speaker 4 (01:03:11):
My uncle was forever ignored by Brenda when he was poor,
but now suddenly his daughter is her favorite. Lily is
a pure soul and I love her deeply, so I
never told her about Brenda's intentions, as I'm afraid it
would break her heart. Oh, PE's a little angel baby.
A year later, there was a gathering at Brenda's place
which my family was invited to. Both me and my
father refused to go. Upon hearing this, my grandma started

(01:03:33):
telling me how it would make her sad and I
should go for her. I told her how I would
never go to a place where I would be insulted,
and if it made her sad, it wasn't my problem.
My grandma told Brenda that I wasn't coming to which
Brenda called me and requested me dearly. I felt bad
and decided.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
To go peer pressure.

Speaker 4 (01:03:50):
Well, it's peer pressure, and it's also like, you know,
this person did do you a huge solid. It's like
they paid for that readmission stuff, so but that doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Give them the right to I paid for this exactly.

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
You owe me this, Like, I totally agree. Come on,
it just makes sense that there's like that. I guess
I have to like, which you don't. But at the gathering,
she started doing the same thing again. We were eating
peacefully when she invited Lily to come over one day
and that her son would cook a delicious meal for her.
They talked for some time and Brenda didn't even glance

(01:04:24):
at me. After their talk was over, Brenda casually told me, oh,
you also can come that day. She told me as
if I was the last person she actually wanted to invite.
Rage built inside of me, and I replied curtly, No thanks.
I have my studies to focus on, and if I
wanted something to eat, my father cooks it for me.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
No thanks, I'm good.

Speaker 4 (01:04:42):
On the day of my grandfather's funeral, after Lily and
her brother, when it was my time for the rituals,
Brenda's husband sneered at me and said, is there any
other grandchildren left? Feels like a pretty personal shot, but okay,
I felt hurt as it was me and my parents
who took care of my grandfather on his Lily is

(01:05:03):
a nice girl, but she was never attached to my
grandfather as I was.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
At that moment.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
I entirely gave up on receiving any kind of love
or support from my mother's family except my uncle. I
passed my exams with flying colors every time, which bothered
Brenda and her husband. Brenda's husband once told me how
I was incompetent to take up a field of study
and that I would never be able to handle the pressure.

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
Ice for the encouragement.

Speaker 4 (01:05:27):
Yeah, I took that course anyway. Later I heard that
Brenda's son had taken the same course and couldn't qualify.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Ooh ooh, well, maybe you should look at your daughter
and asked her that oOoOO, that's such a slam donk
right there.

Speaker 5 (01:05:42):
Yeah, it was pretty big slammer right there.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
Ooh.

Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
I realized this was the reason why they were demotivating me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:48):
I vowed to prove them wrong.

Speaker 4 (01:05:50):
The course had four phases, the entrance, the intermediate, the internship.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
And the finals.

Speaker 4 (01:05:55):
His son couldn't clear intermediate, and they were hoping I
would get stuck in entrance. I passed my entrance on
my first attempt and scored the highest in my coaching.
Brenda's husband told me how entrance is very easy and
intermediate was the one where I would have the most
of the fun. To their surprise, I cleared my intermediate
too on my first attempt and scored really good marks.

(01:06:16):
I even received prizes in cash money for my coaching
since my score was high. This was the moment when
Brenda's husband's behavior changed. He told me how he knew
I would succeed and they would always help me. He
told me that he would help me to get my
internship and I didn't want his help, but my mom
told me that if he's offering to help, then we

(01:06:37):
should take it. Since we had no connections and no
one who would help us for internship. I told Brenda's
husband about my dream firm, and he promised me on
his word they would immediately take me in. I was skeptical,
so I kept searching on my own too, which is
good because Brenda's husband, as I predicted, never helped me
and kept on making fake promises.

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
Yeah, because before they said, we always knew you'd make it,
You'd always succeed. There's this thing called like aligning your
words with your actions. Mm, and I don't see any
actions really happening. Yeah. Zero.

Speaker 4 (01:07:10):
So I met one of my professors and he gave
a number for a small firm.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
I called there and I got the job.

Speaker 4 (01:07:18):
When I informed Brenda's husband, he told me how he
knew the firm and he would help me. I told
him that everything was done and they had agreed to
take me. However, I always had dreamt of a big firm,
and going for a small one was breaking my heart.
In this profession, connections matter a lot, and this was
the reason I decided to take the help of Brenda's
husband in the first place. Anyways, I kept searching for
another firm. One of my friends helped to forward my

(01:07:40):
CV and I got the job last week after two
rounds of interviews. I was extremely happy and informed my
previous job. My previous employer never behaved badly with me
and even understood me. Brenda's husband, on the other hand,
didn't even talk to me. Why exactly, why are we
still talking to him? Why are we doing this? After
a few days, I heard from another relative how they
were curious at me. In the words of Brenda, I

(01:08:02):
didn't go to the job her husband got me and
instead listen to my friends. Her husband got me the job,
and I am a brat. I was amazed how easily
he took the credit for something he didn't even do,
and was witching about me at the same time. To
make things worse, let me share my present condition. I
lost my father a month before. They didn't even care

(01:08:23):
how these comments would make me feel.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
My thought, Brenda, get your head out of your butt,
and Brenda's husband just needs to like chill out.

Speaker 4 (01:08:32):
Yeah, Op, I'm gonna say this trying to change how
Brenda and her husband are gonna interact with you, You
might as well pick up a mop and try to
clean up the ocean. Right, It's not gonna happen, So
just Stop trying to clean up the ocean. Stop trying
to mop up the ocean. You can't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
It's too much.

Speaker 4 (01:08:48):
So just like, mind your p's and q's, keep your
head down, do exactly what you're doing. You're intelligent, you
got your sourceful, you got yourself, your own job. Who
cares if you're fan Anyone who's like agreeing with Brenda
and stinky Keith over here, Anyone who can automatically go, oh, yeah,
I believe these people. I trust these people, crab. They
either don't know you well enough to even warrant caring,

(01:09:09):
or they are on team Brenda and Keith and they
You don't need to concern yourself with them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
You don't, But I'm concerned with the end of the story.

Speaker 5 (01:09:18):
Yeah, let's get concerned, folks.

Speaker 4 (01:09:20):
A few days before, Brenda called my mother and told
her how she was giving money to every kid except
me for the upcoming festival. She said this to my mom,
who had recently lost her husband. It never mattered to
us if we got the money. However, her audacity hurt
my mom. Now I'm done putting up with their behavior.
I told Lily how ill Brenda has been treating me
and I decided, if Brenda hurts my mom anymore, I'll

(01:09:40):
tell Lily how Brenda used to treat her father. I'll
tell her how Brenda never cared about her and never will.
I have decided to go absolutely no contact with her
and tell her about to be daughter in law all
about her. However, I still sometimes remember how she helped
me five years ago and feel guilty to do anything.
So am I wrong about what I decided? We have
some comments comment every one her help it was hollow

(01:10:00):
and worthless because its intent was for her own sake,
not yours. Preach yes, perfect, you have nothing to be
guilty about. Leave them behind and live your life knowing
that they are enraged at your success since their son
isn't half the person you are. Just be gracious and
kind and refuse to let them bulldoze you into anything.
It'll throw into contrast what a holes they are, and
everyone will see how superior you are to these crap weasels.

(01:10:22):
And that is a great way to end that story. Really,
little crap weasel.

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
Yeah, Hey, let's not.

Speaker 5 (01:10:28):
Like slam dunk the son too hard.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
Maybe he's like too dumb to be a horse lawyer,
But like the daughter Lily.

Speaker 5 (01:10:34):
No, their son. Lily's another cousin. They had a son
that was not very I thought Lily was a part
of this morning.

Speaker 4 (01:10:40):
Lily might also, I think she'd be another is it.
I don't know if it's their daughter or another cousin anyway,
but their son.

Speaker 5 (01:10:47):
Was the one that was like not doing very well.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
And that's the end of that story an episode. So
if you love us, make sure to subscribe. I mean,
we love you and see you tomorrow.

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