My wife said ANOTHER man’s name while we were being intimate…she said it was a slip of the tongue! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We have some spectacular stories coming up, but.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Real quick, we got a two minute break from our
lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing. My wife said another
man's name during an intimate time. She reasoned it was
only a slip of the tongue.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Her tongue's probably been slipping some out of places.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I'm twenty seven male in a fight with my wife,
twenty seven female after an incident during intimacy for contact
where high school sweetheart's married for six years. We have
a child, the three male. We've been through a lot together.
I love her deeply. And by the way, this comes
from you throwaway Crimson, oh make and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to our Okay Storytime. Separated.

(00:42):
So our marriage is in a rough patch. Our quality
time as a couple is struggling. We're in counseling. We're
working on making time for each other and reaffirming our bond.
That's our current focus in counseling, and we're assigned intimacy exercises.
Part of these exercises is for us to make a
consistent conscious for each other. We had stay cation to
celebrate our anniversary while our son spent the weekending his grandparents.

(01:05):
The trip was largely nice and we got to focus
on each other, but it took a turn. The nine
of our anniversary were cuddling' and it turned into more.
My wife initiated, she was really getting into it, an
expressive and then out of nowhere, she moaned another man's name,
who's in our friend.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Grew that's messed up.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
My heart would break. We stopped immediately. There was no
mistaking what she said. She looked stunned before recovering and
treating it like a texting typo or something. When I
questioned why'd she say another guy's name, let alone one
of our friends, she swore it meant nothing, and that
she was just consumed with what I was doing to.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Her, probably thinking of someone else doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
That's not an excuse. I couldn't buy it. I don't
believe it meant nothing, not the passionate why she said it.
I believe she was fantasizing about him while being with me.
She insisted it wasn't like that, it was only a
slip of the tongue. I asked why his name in particular? First,
you didn't know, then said maybe because she was replying
to his text earlier in the group chat. When I
pushed back, she got defensive. She said I was making

(02:09):
something out of nothing and how it didn't need to
ruin our anniversary. I told her nothing that she was
saying was reaching me and I needed some time. She
tried kissing me and initiating again, like nothing happened.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Girl, take a break.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
The incident put a damper on the rest of the trip.
We haven't been intimate since. In any steps we made
forward with our exercises have taken a significant leap back.
We're in a cycle of awkward silence, even in front
of our son or ignoring the elephant in the room.
She's being extra affectionate now, but I can't shake what happened.
I never thought twice about their friendship, but now I'm
seeing past interactions differently. I love my wife, She and
our son meant the world to me. I've been committed

(02:41):
to working on our marriage, but I'm at a loss here.
I feel my wife isn't being honest and it's attempting
to rug sweet by pouring on affection. I'm left reconsidering everything.
I don't know how to navigate forward. I need outside perspectives.
We got some comments Bad Guy Busters twenty twenty. Definitely
need to say a conversation on this or or counseling sessions.
I highly recommend using a therapist certified and the got

(03:03):
Mid method Mama to grace. Okay, if this happened with
my partner, in the first place my head would go
immediately would be he's having an affair. I want to
go there. I would go to like they're just like
attracted or fantasizing about them, but being on the outside.
Even though an affair is still on my list of possibilities,
I don't think an affair is the only logical answer.
My other logical conclusions isn't very pretty either, though. But
it's happened that people are fantasizing about someone else, so

(03:25):
she may just have the huts for this stude and
thinking of him gets her going, and she was so
in her own head picturing him that she got lost
in her own moment and it slipped out. For me,
this option would still be grounds for me to take
a step back in question a lot, even in thinking
of my partner fantasizing about a friend while having spices
sleep with me makes me want to throw up, So
why one hundred percent can understand why this has messed
you up so bad. I don't think any response is

(03:47):
going to make you feel better. Honestly, yeah, I think
the only response would be an honest response. It would
be hard, but I think that would get you past it.
It happened, and that's going to be a hard one
to forget. Man. I wish I had advice, but knowing
it would make how it would make me feel nothing
I believe will make this feel any better for you.
I would absolutely check your phone records to see if
they are communicating more than they should be. That would
definitely be my first move. Sheepskin Rugger. Reddit is bananas.

(04:11):
There was a post here the other day by a
guy who fantasized about another woman while having spicy sleep
with his wife and it was the best spicy sleep
he ever had. He was wrecked with gilt and was
asking if he should confess. Tons of commentaris were saying
they've done it, but it's not a big deal. It's
just a fantasy. Don't borrow trouble by telling the wife, etc. Etc.
I'm not saying that to convince you to react one
way or another. How you feel is how you feel.

(04:31):
But I do say to caution you against taking advice
from Reddit because what you'll get tends to be completely arbitrary,
and many commenters are influenced by what they read from others.
And at Snowballs, you're already in counseling with your wife.
Take this there and ignore whatever you read from people
who say it's no big deal. I fantasize about someone
else every time I have spicy sleep with my partner
lol lol or a man. I can never get past this.

(04:53):
She clearly wants that guy, and it's only amount of
time before she cheats. Get out while you're still young.
We don't have the answers you need. Talk to your
wife and counselor what every Reddit comment should be, Well,
don't know, jack crap. Figure this out on your own
or with a therapist or through a conversation, But like
navigate it without comments. Certain people have no idea the
context of your life in intimate ways. Update Thanks to

(05:15):
everyone who reached out. I twenty seven male couldn't replied everything,
but the outside perspectives helped. General consensus was that my
wife twenty seven female and i's issues should be tackled
with therapy. I know that's what I should have done,
but I delayed. I was too embarrassed. The thought of
bringing up what happened and counseling made it worse. But
I knew it needed to be done. My wife didn't
initially take kindly to it. She was defensive and accused

(05:36):
me of throwing her under the bus.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Who do you think is that fall here?

Speaker 1 (05:39):
You should be bringing issues into therapy, That's what it
did it for. I disagreed. I wouldn't throw her under
the bus either. The truth as we never arranged topics
in therapy beforehand, we argued over each other. Our therapists
came through as a referee to call it for a
time out for us to recollect and to reflect on
the objective being working towards a solution, not going at
each other. We're able to actually talk when things cooled

(06:01):
off and my wife was asked how she would feel
if the roles were reversed. That's a great question. I
really like that she admitted it. If I had said
another woman's name while we were having spicy sleep and
on our anniversary, she wouanted to have handled it well
at all. She apologized her downplaying my feelings. While I
appreciated her acknowledgment, I still thought she wasn't honest about
why she said that guy's name.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Why.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Pressed she said she didn't want to hurt me more
than she already did.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Girl, you gotta do it.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I told her she was hurting me by lying. She
confessed that during a stint where we weren't having spicy
sleep she had engaged in fantasies to satisfy herself. One
of them was of our friend. I knew the stint
she was talking about. Intimacy as a whole has been
a struggle, But there was a point where we were
abstinent spicy sleepy. We weren't even sharing a bed at
the time. We'd argue, then leave to separate rooms. Our

(06:50):
own son, three male, would share the bed with us.
I asked how long she's been fantasizing about him. She said,
on and off. He wasn't a constant fantasy. It was
necessarily about him, but more about the taboo. I could
totally see the taboo neus of it, and I could
also see she's not getting specific needs met in the relationship,
and maybe she sees those needs being met by traits

(07:14):
that that person.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Has maybe in his own relationship.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, and so I think this could be a wonderful
opportunity to voice that what your own system is desiring
and see if your own partner can bring that into
the relationship, so you don't have to like unconsciously look
for that elsewhere in a fantasy. She swore that the
fantasys meant nothing, that they were just scenarios to get
her there and nothing she would ever actually want. It
was tough, but I tried hearing her out instead of

(07:37):
shutting down, arguing wasn't getting us anywhere either. I can't
relate to her about this. She's always been enough for
me during good and bad times. I was always focused
on her during intimacy. I told her that why I
knew our marriage wasn't perfect. I thought we were getting
to a better place and we were engaging in various
forms of intimacy. Again, she claims she doesn't indulge fantasies anymore.
I called bull because she did just that on our anniversary,

(07:59):
of all days. She insisted his name was only a
slip of the tongue because she was replying to his
text in the group thread that day. She said she
was consumed with what I was doing to her, and
in the heat of the moment, his name slipped out.
I felt like we were going into truth and now
it seems like we're kind of leaving back into lies.
When I asked why she didn't tell me all of
this after the incident, she said she felt guilty and

(08:21):
afraid for our marriage. She said our marriage was already
in a state of recovery and she didn't want to
blow everything up over a stupid mistake. She kept saying
she doesn't want him or anyone else. She only wants
to be with me, and that's the only reason why
she's fighting for a marriage. The session was a lot.
I was mostly quiet after If she finished, she asked
me to please say something, but all I could say
was I needed some time. I'm still sorting through how

(08:43):
I feel. I believe she was more truthful, but it's difficult.
Nor do I see things between her and our friend
the same. I don't know if you could ever Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
It'd always be kind of suspicious, just glaring at the
friends and the friends like what's up.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
I would like to work on my marriage, my wife
and our son mean the world to me. I want
the best solution for everyone. Thank you to everyone. I
appreciate the support we got, more relevant comments, arts needs
more flu I think next thing is you need to
do is schedule another therapy session and discuss tools for
rebuilding trust. At this point, you bring up your trust,
which shook because she kept trickle truthing, and how you

(09:16):
can you know she isn't hiding more from you that
you don't want to distrust her, but you don't know
how to rebuild. Allow me to be blunt about some
uncomfortable truths. Everyone fantasizes. Let me be blunt. If someone
says an absolute truth on the internet, don't believe them.
Everyone fantasizes. It is if and how we act on
our fantasies, and if we allow our fantasies to impact

(09:37):
our real life that matters. Keep your focus on her behavior,
not her fantasies, and on that thing. I'm not saying like,
oh it's bad to you know, fantasize when you're by yourself,
and everyone has different relationships with like fantasy and spicy sleep.
But I don't know the way it shows up for
me is like, yeah, do what you want on your
own like, I don't think if I'm partners with someone

(10:01):
that biologically you know I'm not going to be the
only person they're attracted to. And that makes sense. But
if you're with me and you're thinking of someone else, wow,
we're having spicy sleep. It feels rude and disrespectful. And
keep your focus on her behavior and not her fantasy's.
Trust is similar to Rewitch and Espenolson in that once
it is broken, it is hard to rebuild, but it

(10:21):
can be rebuilt. Trust is always a leap of faith.
It is built on little acts of consistent, reliable behavior,
but at its heart it is a leap of faith.
The little voices in your head, Opie, the ones going,
but what is she seectly in love with my friend?
But what if she thinks he is sexier than me, etc. Yes,
those voices. Nothing your wife can say or do will
be able to silence those voices. That is a battle
for you and you alone. You need to figure out

(10:42):
how to self sue those voices. Rick Russell t X. Well,
that's the problem with trickle truth thing. There's no way
to know when she stops trickling and when she's telling
the truth. Once you start lying. People don't know when
you're truth in the little boy crable situation. Yeah, I
said it earlier, but I think this can be an
opportunity to see, like what of her needs are being
met and what she's you know, unconsciously going into her

(11:04):
head to try to meet and to get the outside
of your relationship. And maybe it's possible to use this
as an opportunity to bring just a wonderful, honest conversation
around what both of you need. Very very true.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
My husband is way too close to his married girl BFF.
I told him to choose between.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Us ultimatums boo.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
My husband and I have been together for more than
five years and married for two years. He has a
female friend that he cares for deeply. They have been
friends for almost the same time as us being together.
By the way, this comes from virtual anxiety for three
through three and if you want to spit your own stories,
go to our slashowcase storytime.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Separate it.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
So when we started dating, it wasn't anything serious. They
used to hang out together during office hours and office parties.
Problems started when he wanted to hang out alone with her.
She lived closer to his place and I lived on
the outskirts of the city, so it was a long drive.
He would make plans with her in the office, text
me about it later after work, and arguments ensued. Why

(12:02):
not go to dinner with your friend group? Why only
be alone with her? Why would you want to go
to the movies alone with her?

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Why do you want to kiss her when I'm not there?

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Are you saying your name? Their friendship always gave me
weird vibes, never seemed normal, and she was single with
guys hitting on her. They even went on a trip
together to attend an important event just the two of them.
It seemed fishy, but he would always reassure me that
they're just good friends and nothing more, that she had
been through a lot in life without giving me the details,
and he just wanted to be there for her. One

(12:31):
year of drama and then she relocated. A year later,
she got married and I felt relieved, But their friendship
grew stronger over time. They would text and video call
all the time. You talk to her more than me,
trusted her more than me, opened up to her, was
emotionally vulnerable, which he almost never is with me, shared
everything with her. I will never understand their friendship. But

(12:53):
it makes me very suss why he always deletes their conversations.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
That's immediately Yeah, concerning the.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Emotional intimacy they share, sends her gifts the only person
he sends gifts to you, apart from me. They have
an odd love hate relationship. There are times when they
would argue and stop talking to each other completely. He
would never tell me the reason why. Usually it's for
a few days, a few weeks at MAX. Recently they
stopped talking altogether, from being glued to a phone to
no message. He would even tell me about women who

(13:23):
have shown interest in him, but that's about it. I
trust him fully, and even more so because he himself
told me about them. But with his BFF, he tells
me nothing, just the constant reassurance that there's nothing more
than friendship. Now I want him to end his friendship
with her. Am I overreacting? Could they just be really
good friends? And there are some comments and I'm gonna

(13:44):
read those before because there's one from Opie. Opie says
when I asked him about deleting his conversations, he says,
he deletes everything, and not just the conversations with her.
That's weird behavior. Who does that?

Speaker 4 (13:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Who deletes all their texts?

Speaker 2 (13:58):
After?

Speaker 1 (13:59):
You know? Who does that? So I've since dealers.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
I don't even know if they're still talking. He does
check his phone every now and then after their long hiatus,
they did speak recently, But again, why can't he take
calls in my presence? What even is so confidential between
them two? He has promised me several times that there's
nothing between the two, but I just can't trust his
words anymore. Is there a way to retrieve deleted chats?

(14:22):
And there are one more comment? Come one says Gosh,
sounds like you are the third wheel. Sorry, Opie, Why
didn't they just get married to each other? Since they
act like it is? Her husband okay with their closeness
deleting messages looks sus. Why can't a married couple not
be best friends? Why can't a married couple not share
secrets and stories with each other but need best friends
from the opposite sex? I disagree with that. Get yourself

(14:44):
a male best friend and think of yourself your husband doesn't.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
I don't agree with that, called stupid comment.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Is her husband not looking for a female bestie?

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Ope?

Speaker 3 (14:51):
He says, I have no idea how much her husband knows.
Her husband obviously came much later into the picture, and
by then she had already relocated. It's so sad that
it makes me laugh. He isn't a bad husband, but
he just acts weird around her. And there is an update.
But you said you have thoughts.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Usually I'm so supportive around the opposite gender. Are friendships,
This one's concerning.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
They're hiding so much.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Why are you hiding things if you're so concerned around
your privacy with his friend and you can't let your
partner into anything in the relationship of this friendship, that's concerning.
And then also if he's more emotionally revealing with his
friend than his own wife, it seems like he's not
very revealing with his wife. That's concerning as well. I
think people are welcome to have friends, but if you

(15:37):
know they're intimate, then your wife, and.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
When you have said multiple times, hey, I'm uncomfortable, and
he knows you're uncomfortable and does seemingly nothing to alleviate
your concerns or your discomfort. But there is an update. Clarifications.
They met shortly after my husband and I started dating. No,
we don't have kids. She lives far away from us,
so they don't meet in person. I'm planning to reach
out to her, but not to her husband, at least

(16:00):
not yet. Questions I asked him and his responses. One,
How did they become such close friends over time? They
didn't start on good terms, but as they got to
know each other better, their friendship grew stronger. So it
was kind of an enemy's to lovers kind of the situation.
What are her secrets? He didn't give me much detail,
just that she was slash, has been depressed, and her
coping mechanisms weren't very healthy. She's doing much better now.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Three.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Why can't he share things with me? He feels there
might be things that could hurt me and he just
wants to protect me. When I asked him, like what,
he deflected saying it's his dark shide and he's too
scared to discuss it with me, his dark shide where
he cheats on his wife.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
If he can't discuss things he's scared to reveal with
his own wife, but he can with the friend who
he has.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
Known for basically the same amount. It's not like a
childhood friend.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, that's like major Kraken foundation of relationship huge crack.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
Four has he ever been disloyal? Never? Five? Does he
feel their friendship is unusual?

Speaker 4 (16:57):
No?

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Why did they stop talking? He said he made a
rude comment and didn't think she would forgive him. When
I asked what he said, he explained it was related
to her personal life and that he was being a
wiener head. Seven Why are they talking again? They've resolved
the issue, he apologize for his behavior, and they decided
to move forward. Eight Has there ever been any physical intimacy? No,
just hugs, holding hands to comfort her and offering a

(17:20):
shoulder to cry on.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
You know what they say about shoulder to cryon.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
It leads to spicy sleep.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
A shoulder to cryon is a wiener to write on.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
He'd also agreed to show me their text before he'd
deleats some. But of course I wouldn't know if he
decides to let a few here and there. I'm going
to ask her the same or similar questions and we'll
update later.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Update two.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
I messaged her. Surprisingly, she responded, but I was not
prepared for what she told me. After some small talk,
I told her that my husband had mentioned her depression
and I wanted to help. She was very furious at
first felt betrayed by my husband for telling me. Then
I explained her the situation.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
You want to help, that's a lie. Why you lying
to this woman. It's pretty manipulative to say that when
it's not true, and you'd try and get dirt on
your husband.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
I told her that he didn't ever give me the details,
but I've reached a point where I really need to
know what had happened for the sake of her marriage.
She told me she was in a very toxic relationship.
Her ex mistreated her verbally and physically. He was a manipulative,
lying trash. She never spoke about her relationship with anyone,
but she used to get mad wasted. One time, they
were all out for office dinner. Because she was wasted,

(18:26):
my husband and another friend offered to drive her home
since they lived close by. My husband, being his cold
and distant self, told her to not get wasted if
she couldn't handle her liquor. Immediately, she burst into tears,
told them she drinks to forget the pain, and told
them all about her ex, how that relationship took a
toll on her, how she had no support system. She

(18:47):
had stopped talking to her friends and family because of
her ex. They didn't say much to her then, but
were obviously worried. They would check in on her every day,
and slowly she also started opening up to them. That's
how their friendship started. My husband did doesn't know how
to comfort people and would say mean things at times.
That's why they used to fight a lot, and she
moved cities to start a new chapter in life. She,

(19:08):
just like my husband, reassured me that there was nothing
more than friendship between the two. I then asked her
about their last fight. She told me how my husband
made a remark on her life choices, which upset her
and that's why they stopped talking. I believed her. I
thought maybe that's why they wanted to hang out separately
and why he maintained all this secrecy. Maybe he just
cares for her and wants to make sure she's doing well.

(19:30):
I was wrong. I asked her if she ever felt
differently about him. She told me yes, she yes, there
was a time when she started liking him and not
just as a friend, but that was a long time ago.
I asked her if he also felt the same, but
she said she doesn't know. He is caring and protective
of her, and that's all that matters to her. She
knew he was with me, so she didn't pursue. I

(19:52):
then asked her if there are still any residual feelings.
She gave me very vague response that she's happy in
her marriage.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
Are you in my my husband? I'm happy in mine.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
I thought I would be relieved after talking to her,
but it made me even more uneasy.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Honestly, I feel more relieved.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
I feel mixed. I do believe her, but I think
that the husband probably knew that she had feelings for him,
or maybe that came up.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
He doesn't seem like the most emotionally attuned and mature person.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
I feel sorry for everything she's been through, but I
still don't fully believe her when she says she never pursued.
Caring for someone does not mean talking to them for hours.
They may be close friends, but she should confide in
her husband now, which she probably does. But my husband
being the way he is about her makes me very uncomfortable.
I feel like asking my husband to end of the

(20:37):
friendship would be me being an a whole, but I
want him to be more transparent with me. And there
is an update.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Before the update real quick. It's not going to go
well if you ultimatum that.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
I mean, like, it's not going to build trust back
into your relationship.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
If he were to agree with you and stop being
friends with his good friend that he's known as long
as he's known you, he's just gonna resent you.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yeah, so it doesn't really help anything. So you just
need to decide if this is something that you can
get over through therapy or having a conversation, like setting
up boundaries and stuff, if you can be comfortable through it,
like doing therapy together and like having conversations and stuff,
or if this is something they're like, I don't think
I can ever get over this. Update three. I had
a long talk with my husband. I'm definitely not the
A hole. Also, I wasn't being paranoid. I told him

(21:20):
everything she shared with me. I asked him if she
had ever told him about her feelings. He said yes,
but only after she got married. He's like, no, no, no,
it's fine because she was already married.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
When she told me she had feelings when we had
spicy Sleep, she was married.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
I asked if he had felt the same, and why
so protective of her. Finally he told me the full story.
When they first met, they didn't like each other, but
over time that changed. She started to like him, but
kept it to herself. They did have one wasted kiss.
They quickly realized it was a mistake, apologized, kept their distance,
never spoke about it again. Things were awkward for a while,

(21:55):
but after a few months they were back to normal.
She eventually got married. She seemed to be due going well.
Then one day, while very wasted, she told him about
her dating life. That's when he found out she once
had a crush on him, but nothing came of it.
I asked him again if he had ever felt the same.
I told him that it's all in the past, but
we can't move forward unless he's honest with me. She's like,

(22:16):
tell me, I won't be mad. He admitted there was
a time after we got married when he was confused.
He even told her that he might feel more than friendship.
He didn't expect anything from her. She didn't take it well.
They both dismissed it. They said boundaries. Now they're just
good friends. But he never told you. I asked if
her husband knows. My husband isn't sure, but her husband
definitely dislikes me. He's seen her cry every time they fight.

(22:39):
He thinks my husband is bad for her, and that's
probably true. I asked my husband why he even married me.
He said he loves me and wants to spend his
life with me. That brief confusion was just a temporary
stupid face. I asked why he avoids calls in my presence.
He said he sometimes steps out to get an outside
perspective on our arguments.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh, he's talking about OP. Yeah, so the friend has
so many more privileges than OP does.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
He's also been deleting conversations from his phone, not just
with her, with everyone. I told him I don't trust him.
I said he needs to be transparent with me to
rebuild trust. He insists there's nothing to hide. He even
shared his pass code without me asking. He said cutting
her off would be hard, but he's willing to try
if it proves his loyalty. We set some ground rules

(23:26):
for now, and I've agreed to try couple's therapy. And
there are some comments and I believe an update OP
in the comment section. These are the ground rules which
we've said. No private calls, just not even if it's
switching about each other. Nobody deletes any text messages, limiting
conversations with her, Transparency, no more gifts for her, no

(23:47):
more special treatment. If there's something controversial her husband deserves
to know too, regular counseling, spend more time with each other,
no screen locks on phones.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
I like these, These feel healthy, and these like solid
agreements to bring back trust.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Exactly comment one trickle truth. Ugh, it just gets worse.
You're better than this. Please just seek therapy. Because as
much as he now says, I bet that's not all
they kiss They had feelings for each other, and yet
he still wanted to maintain a secret relationship with her.
Please it couldn't be me. Even after telling you these
small truths, he has the nerve to say it won't
be easy, like, come on, lady, stick up for yourself.

(24:24):
And Opie says, yes, I'm furious, but what's another month
when I've already invested so many years. If it gets better, great,
If it doesn't, at least I wouldn't be a third
wheel in my own marriage any longer. And someone replies,
you're right, that would make sense. I was just concerned
because of all the lies. How would you even know?
You know him better than anyone I did? Wonder why
you've never met any of his coworkers. You don't go

(24:45):
to any events or your marriage. That seems odd to me,
and Opie says, I'm keeping my expectations very low. He
can hide things for me, But what's the point. Why
not just leave and be with her If that's what
he wants, it's a very good opportunity for him to
walk away. Well, we've read a lot of stories where
that doesn't happen, where they just keep cheating, like they

(25:06):
have the opening to leave and they don't.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
We have a.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
Different group from UNI that we usually hang out with. Also,
people don't usually bring their esso to these office dinners.
It's more of a team building event. And there is
an update. Really quick thought. I think, as you said,
the ground rows that they're sending are good, and I
think as long as both show like that they want
that they're trying to put in the work, then perhaps
this relationship can get back to kind of a healthy space.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
It seems like you're doing what you got to do
to repair the relationship. Also, I would say like an
additional thing that could be done is just like creating
a space for op to voice her anger and for
you to acknowledge that, and to acknowledge, you know, all
the ways you've you've crossed the line and all the
ways you've kind of like broken her trust, and to
just have that. Finally, Big acknowledged that Opie could let

(25:53):
that go and then be able to move towards a
trustful relationship.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
But the reason an update. I'm done with him. He
needs Jesus in his life. Not only has he lied
to me, but he's also lied to her, who doesn't
want anything to do with him anymore either. I reached
out to her again, thought i'd tell her to back
off and inform her about the agreement I'd made with
my husband Sudibi X. Turns out it was always him
who kept her close and refused to let her go.
She told me that after he first opened up about

(26:19):
his feelings, they didn't dismiss it right away. She was
taken aback.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
There was conversations around it.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
Because she too had once liked him. It was difficult
for her to shut him down immediately, so she didn't
say anything, and as always, they pretended nothing had happened.
He continued showering her with affection. She asked him to stop,
telling him he was putting her in an uncomfortable position.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
He was pursuing her. That's what it seems like.

Speaker 3 (26:42):
That she loves her husband and that's enough for her.
Things were fine for a few months, but then he
started again showing her how caring he was. Making her
feel special. He constantly told her that she was the
most important person in his life and that he never
want to lose her.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Most important person in his life.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
He repeated this so often directly and indirectly that she
eventually started to believe him, and when she was fully invested,
he told her there couldn't be anything more than friendship
with her because he wouldn't cheat on me.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
How awful is that is? That you're pursuing this woman
and she's like putting up with it, and then finally
she's like open to it, and you're like, psych, I'm out.

Speaker 3 (27:20):
You thought I was into you?

Speaker 4 (27:22):
WHOA?

Speaker 1 (27:24):
I just wanted to see if I could convince you
to be into me.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
She realized what a huge mistake she'd made and a
wake up call. She is immensely ashamed of her actions
and disappointed in herself. I don't blame her, though, to me,
she is a victim too. He knows how vulnerable she is,
and he used it against her. To this day, he
tells her the same thing, he loves her, but only
he's a friend because he's married to me. What a
pathetic excuse. Maybe he does care about her and wants

(27:50):
the best for her, but his actions are definitely causing
her more pain. When she tried to end their friendship,
he wouldn't even let her go, saying couldn't live without her,
that he feels lowly a lost and that she's the
only good thing that's ever happened to him. He put
her through so much, keeping her emotionally stuck and playing
with her feelings. The rude remark came when she told

(28:11):
them he was going to tell me everything and show
all the messages and drama he'd put her through. He
threw it back on her, saying she was the one
who first admitted she liked him and that he had
always been clear they were just friends. He accused her
of wanting all or nothing and blaming her for trying
to run away just like she always has. You know what, Yeah,
I mean, OPI told us that he was bad at
emotions and was mean. He made cruel comments and this

(28:34):
tracks They stopped talking after that zero contact, but he
messaged her again. She told him to stay away from her,
but he said he just wanted to apologize and asked
if they could start over. He reassured her that he
would never repeat his actions. They had been good friends
before all this happened, so she agreed to give it
another shot. But you should give us many, many shots.

(28:55):
Listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just
go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
There is a little bit more I want to hear it.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Now that I have reached out to her. She feels
she doesn't want any drama in her life. She's happy,
and if their friendship is putting my marriage at risk,
she's more than willing to back off. I think your
friendship is ended their marriage. I don't know what he
wants in life, but I'm having none of it. I
wonder if he was cheating on me with her, or
cheating on her with me, oh, whatever it may be,
whether he is genuinely confused or he is simply making

(29:25):
a fool out of everyone. I don't want to be
with someone who isn't in love with me or emotionally
invested elsewhere. What did he say when you confronted him
with the truth. I am glad you finally got the
truth and your mind is clear on what to do.
Obe says. He's telling me a lot of things including, oh,
she must have misinterpreted our messages. I've asked her for
screenshots and reply. Very cowardly of him. Instead of manning up,

(29:48):
he keeps on lying and even throwing her under the
bus to save his butt. Let him video call her,
phone call r and speaker and let him tell her
that then she can hear his lies as well. And
if he calls her a liar, then it makes it
perfect make sense for him to go no contact and
vice versa. Since his bestie lies. That is the end
of the story. There's nothing left.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Wow. Wow, I feel scared of this man.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
I mean, just like the psychological kind of torment that
he's been putting these women through. I mean, the best
friend of just constantly going back and forth of giving
affection and then taking it back, trying to convince her
that he loves her and then taking it back.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
And when she gives him the affection that he wants, he's.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Like, oh, what are you talking about? You misread that
and then with OPI just lying and lying and.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Lying, giving some truth and then taking it back.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
I'm glad you're getting out of that relationship.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Me freaking too.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Hey, it's Sam.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three
minutes of bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
My best friend wants to risk our friendship, and I'm
scared of the consequence.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Trying to shoot for a party of three.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
Sometimes you gotta risk it for the biscuit. But let's
see if this biscuit's worth it. I've known this girl, Aaron,
since we were in elementary school. Our families are really
close and our parents are best friends and neighbors. We
would often spend countless hours together at each other's houses,
and it got to the point where we could literally
let each other in each other's houses and rooms with
parental supervision, which is a big deal as kids and teen.

(31:11):
By the way, this comes from a user grad oh
four and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay storytime stubreddit. I have
always been attracted to her. In middle school, she was cute.
In high school, she was attractive, and we went to
prom together as friends. Told her a few times over
the years how I felt, and she has always said,
you know, let's just be friends, or that would be weird,
pretty much turning me down. We grew distant in undergrad

(31:32):
due to us attending different universities, and then she studied abroad,
but still kept in touch from time to time Skype, text, holidays,
et cetera. In undergrad, I started working out seriously and
playing soccer. We both played since we were young. I've
never been out of shape, but I've never been this
physically defined in my life. After graduating college, I went
into grad school, where I stayed in a single apartment

(31:53):
on campus. I leave a key at my parents in
case I ever lose or forget mine. One evening, I'm
taking a nap and hears someone coming in my apartment.
By the time I open my eyes and get myself together,
Aaron is already sitting on my bed. I'm thrilled to
see her, as it's been nearly two years at this
point since we've physically seen each other. Crawls over and
hugs me, and that's when I realized things kind of
went different. She leans in and instead of the normal, Hey,

(32:16):
what's up? How's life during crystals? Well? Oh oh, I'm
blown away, shocked and beyond happy. All of this led
to the spicy tango. When we finished, she tells me
I better get used to her because she's attending the
same graduate school. She says, she wants more of this,
and mind you, at the time, I was s thlung
cloud nine, So of course I say sure, without thinking

(32:38):
that was nearly three months ago. And now she comes
over some days and we talk like best friends, and
other days it's just a lot of spicy tango. My
emotions are all over the place. And as if it
wasn't bad enough as her best friend, being friends with
benefits is really challenging for me. To my knowledge, she
has no boyfriend, no love interest, or anything like that.
But whenever I bring up dating or anything serious, I

(32:58):
met with just a spicy tank and an open ended
we'll talk about it later, or let's just have some
fun together and think about it later. Should I just
be patient? Our friendship dynamic has changed. I get excited
just by the thought of being alone with her, and
now we're hiding things from our parents and friends. And
while I feel like I'm falling for her more and more.
I haven't any clue as to what she is thinking.
Why do I feel so much regret despite being so happy?

(33:19):
Is this wrong to have this type of relationship with
her given how I feel about her? Clearly law on
one page and she's on another. You intuitively know this.
He doesn't want to have the conversation and you do.
Food it's going to lead to things ending, which they
probably should, because you're setting yourself up for like a
huge let down here. Obviously, the spicy Tango is a
dream come true for me. She's a gorgeous girl, and

(33:42):
friends slash family all throughout school have always joked about
us dating or looking up. I don't know if I
can ever go back to seeing her as just a
best friend without the benefits. And the fact that I
don't know if this is the same for her scares
me my overthinking this? Or should I just enjoy it
while it lasts? You have some comments. Number one says,
enjoy it while it lasts because it will abruptly end
at some point. Don't get emotionally attached, and if you are,

(34:04):
and the friends with benefits for your own sake, ohp
he replied, I am about a three miles past that
don't get attached part. All I can really do is
enjoy it while last and see where it goes. We've
been friends for this long, and we've always been there
when we needed each other. So here's to hoping there
is another reason she hasn't given me answer. The only
thing I would worry about and a reply is if

(34:25):
there is a fallout and you two are not on
the same page about things. The sixteen year old friendship
is a lot to lose, and emotions can run high
and things like this, so just be careful. Looking at
it from a third party, this can't end well. But
you have more information than we do. OPI replies, Yeah,
I completely understand where you're coming from. Like one of
the other commenters said, though I've liked this girl for
more than half my life, I vividly remember daydreaming about

(34:47):
doing the tango with her back in high school even prom,
and I didn't manage it. I can't turn off my
feeling for and even ending it beforehand won't bring about
the closure I'm seeking. I think, if anything, it's probably
regret not biding my time to see where we could
have went. I don't want to sound corny or helpless,
but what I'm doing with this girl undoubtedly makes me
more happy than I've ever been. The way I see
it in black and white is either we end up

(35:07):
together and live happily ever after some time down the road,
or she leaves me for someone else, in which case
our friendship ends anyways for an extremely long time. That's
just how trying to date a best friend, in my eyes,
is always gone make it something better, or watch years
of friendship crumble two million.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
So you know what you're doing?

Speaker 4 (35:22):
Did you know what you're risking?

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Understand the consequences?

Speaker 4 (35:25):
It sounds like you're just trying to delude yourself, but whatever.
The only information I left out is that she doesn't
want to talk about the two years we weren't connected,
which leads me to think that something happened. I don't
know if it's a bad breakup, a horrible experience, or
what really caused such a change. Hopefully I can find
out and hear the update. TLDR, my best friend of
sixteen years who never showed interest in me, showed up

(35:46):
in my college apartment one day and randomly had the
spice to sleep with me. She's been coming over pretty
much every other day since the semester started. I've liked
her for years, but she won't give me a definite
reason as to what this means or where it's going.
Despite most people, including many of my closest friends, telling
me to just end things with her or force her
into a decision, I decided to not listen to anyone's
advice and write it out, accepting that I'd probably get

(36:09):
tossed to the side when someone better came around for
her and be crushed into a million little pieces, and
my heart would be put behind a ten foot fixed
steel wall. Brother, what are you doing yourself here? We
went on to be friends with benefits for about four months,
and those were honestly the most nerve wrecking months of
my life, never knowing when or if it was going
to end or what she was really thinking. I tried

(36:29):
my best to play it off as it didn't bother me,
but really it was a bittersweet time for me. Of course,
it was after our school semester ended we drifted apart
a little bit. We both were spending time with family
and friends. We both had extremely busy semesters and spent
most of the time studying or with one another, so
that was expected. She ended up going on vacation with
her parents to visit her grandparents in England. She did
invite me to come along months ago, but I already

(36:50):
had other obligations, so I couldn't go with her, despite
wanting to. We did talk on the phone a few
times while she was away. I actually had an annual
soccer tournament with my traveling team and we met this
all girls team at the tournament and I was telling
her about it, since she plays soccer as well. She
seemed happy for me that I was having fun, but
I could tell that it was bothering her. I just
chopped it up to maybe I sounded like I was

(37:11):
bragging or something.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Ooh, she caught feelings. She caught feelings. She just caught felains.
She got the feelings.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Now, two weeks later, she asked me if I can
pick her up from the airport because she flew back early,
and she nearly knocks me over. She hugs me so tightly. Ooh,
she wants me she can't have She's never shown so
much intimacy in public before, and she even tells me
that she really missed me. It's like eight pm when
we go to Starbucks. She's being like really different, a
lot quieter than normal, and she seems a little nervous
around me, like she wants to say something.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Oh no.

Speaker 4 (37:38):
Eventually she confesses that she realizes she does like me
as more than just a friend, and she apologizes for
her unfairness making me wait so long before giving me
an answer.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I tell you what, I tell you, what I tell you.
I could fix her.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
I was wrong a project.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
I was wrong if this is real, because it's reading
like a fan fiction of this, this is.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Real all to me.

Speaker 4 (38:00):
This is alternate Riley, right are Remember, folks, if you
want your friends with benefits to take you seriously, just
brag about how you met the all girls' soccer team.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
It'll go perfectly.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
She tells me that before she left, she didn't really
know what she wanted. She didn't know if she wanted
a relationship or if she was ready to be in one.
She said that she was afraid to get into a
relationship with me, only to realize that she didn't want it. Beard,
our friendship would be unable to bounce back, by the
way you can bounce on over to Spotify or Apple
podcasts or iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to your podcast
and search Okay storytime where you can find full episodes

(38:29):
with stories like this. How many days forty nine days
worth of stories to listen to?

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Forty seven days, forty seven nights.

Speaker 4 (38:35):
Yes, we have plenty to listen to. Go over there
and listen to it. The story's almost over, let's finish
it off. She told me that she experienced a lot
of things in England and was sad that she wasn't
able to experience them together with me. You talk to
her older sister who lives in England, who really put
in some good words for me. So we're officially dating
and everything has been awesome and I couldn't be happier.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
Sorry.

Speaker 4 (38:54):
If this update is a bit lacking, I mean it's not.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
It's a great update.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
I'm happy for you. I tried to summarize three weeks
worth into this post without making it a novel. But
if you have any questions about anything, just let me know.
Thanks for the advice on the original post. It really
gave me some solid perspective.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Dude, bro one bro is winning. I am so freaking
happy for this man.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
I was winning, but her lack of communication really does
a flag for me. Make sure that if you feel
like y'all can't talk about something moving forward, you have
to be able to speak.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
She just needed you know what happens when the heart
is distant. She just needed to day dream fonder.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
She just needed to daydream about you flirting with an
entire girls soccer team, and then she realized how much
of a catch you were.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
And that's the blueprints, guys, that's how you do it.
That story right in the end of that story, switch
it off to the next.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
My friend drop me as a maid of honor days
before the wedding. I still hold a grudge.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
That's that's fair, that's fair, that's grudge worthy.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Small warning, this is a long post. Around six years ago,
one of my best friends at the time got engaged
and asked me to be her made of honor. To
avoid confusion, let's day for Tessa and her fiance Dave.
I was thrilled for her and beyond happy that she
asked me. By the way, this comes from Star Crossed
Astrod and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to our slash Shokey storytime supperate It. I grew

(40:13):
up with her, and we were very close. For context,
she was a close family friend who ended up moving
in with us. I was an early teenager thirteen to
fourteen years old, and she had just turned twenty two.
Since we lived together and spent a lot of time
with each other, we became like sisters. We told each
other everything, went everywhere together, et cetera. Anyway, fast forward
to the wedding. You got married a month before my

(40:34):
eighteenth birthday. She and her fiance had a classic modern
love story of falling in love online and doing long distance.
Due to this, I never really met the guy. I
only ever really said hi to him a few times
on the phone. For more context, they typically met up
when she got off work, but since I was always
back and forth between my mom and dads and busy
with clubs and schools, I never met him. Anyway, Fast

(40:55):
forward again to the wedding. They ended up deciding that
she gets to choose all the details if he picks
the venue. Dave chose Vegas. We were there for around
five days. Day one was just us all catching up
and hanging out. Day two we decided to spend some
quality time together, so my mom and aunt went on
their own, and so did we. Towards the middle of
the day, we ran into Dave's son. More context, Dave

(41:16):
was in his late forties, his son was around twenty
three to twenty four, and Tessa was now in her
late twenties. Anyway, we talked with them for a bit
and the conversation evolved to her mentioning she was nervous.
The son and his partner happened to have magic gummies
on them, and since she was nervous, they offered her
one to calm her down. However, she didn't tell them
that she hadn't eaten or wasted anything since morning, and

(41:37):
because we met up right after lunch, I didn't know that. Well,
the magic ummies worked very fast, and before we knew it,
she was feeling sick. Oh no, it got so bad
that I ended up having to take her back to
our rooms since they didn't know where hers was and
she was really out of it. I tried phoning my
mom and aunt, but they weren't answering, so I just
tried to give her food and water in small increments
so she would throw it up. I tried to let

(41:58):
her rest and get it out out of her system. Eventually,
they came back and I didn't know how to explain
it and get her what she needed without telling them
the truth, so I did. They unfortunately ended up telling
her fiance because they didn't know how to explain it
to him either, and they knew he would have questions.
He ended up coming to pick her up and was pissed.
We weren't a fan of how he was talking to

(42:19):
her in the moment, rushing her to get up and
telling her she was fine, but we ignored it in
the moment because we were more focused on trying to
make her feel better. He came to me, since I
was the only one with her all day, and demanded.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
Answers, give me the answer.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
I told him the truth. He said, okay, she just
needs water and food. After that, we ended up convincing
him to give her an hour more, so he did.
Then he picked her up again and brought her back
to their room. On day three, she was fine again.
Tessa apologized profusely to my mom and aunt and they
forgave her. We all decided to do the same split
hangout again, so Tessa and I went out and enjoyed
her day, roaming around and doing a bunch of fun activities.

(42:53):
When we then met up with my mom and aunt
at the end of the night for dinner, since that's
what she wanted to do for her bachelorette party. Bars
were off the table due to my age, so we
just chose a fancy, sit down rushaurant. At some point
during the night, I'm not really sure when, but I
guess she pulled my mom aside and talked to her.
Once we were back up in our rooms, my mom
sat me down for the conversation.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
What do you think is about to have it?

Speaker 3 (43:15):
Well, based on the title.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
And you didn't have the title.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
I didn't have the title. What do you think is it?
I don't know. Oh, okay, saw the title? Yeah, okay,
I already know what's gonna happen. She told me that
Dave didn't like that Tessa chose a seventeen year old
to be her maid of honor. He knew how close
we were and why she asked me, and he was
also aware that I was one month away from being eighteen,
but he still didn't want me to be made of honor.

(43:41):
In his opinion, I was too young, and he told
her to pick someone else. I don't know if it's
because he thought I gave her the magic gummies, or
if that was just his genuine opinion, but it was
what he wanted regardless, since the only family she really
had there was us, she ended up picking my mom.
Apparently they argued about it, but he wasn't letting up,
and in order to avoid a small argument into more,
she just I figured if I voiced how I felt,

(44:03):
he would just write off my anger as me proving
his point that I was too young, which just nodded
my head the sure and went to bed. I ended
up crying myself to sleep that night. Oh it may
have been dumb, but I've always been the one that
gets chosen last growing up. Due to me moving around
a lot when I was younger, I didn't really have
too many of those lasting connections. Most people stopped making
an effort after a year or two, and you kind

(44:24):
of just become the back burner friend that they remember last.
Tessa was one of the few people that didn't do that.
So it really meant the world to me for multiple
reasons that she wanted me to be the maid of honor.
It also really hurt that he decided I shouldn't be
and she reluctantly gave in. Well, the next day came,
the wedding happened, and I sat through the whole thing
with a fake smile because as much as I tried,

(44:45):
I could not bring myself to be happy about it.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
This is also so I'm sad. I'm frustrated too. This
is days before the wedding. This is her a day
before the wedding, a day before the wedding, this is
her good friend. He has no right to be like
to decide who is her maid of honor? Yeah, and
it being age is so irrelevant? Why does that matter?

Speaker 3 (45:06):
And the slightest like, why is she marrying this man?
He struck me as not such a great guy. He
made no effort to get to know me or my mom.
He didn't even really talk to us. All we got
was a hello and a handshake on the first night.
We didn't see him again until the magic gummy situation,
and then we didn't see him again until the wedding.
After that, all we got was a thank you when
we said congratulations and a quick bye when it was

(45:28):
time for us all to leave. Personally, that never sat
well with me. I'm not sure if my aunt and
mom said that he thought we gave it to her,
or if they were just guessing, But apparently he wasn't
the happiest with us after that. I am now twenty two,
and even though I'm no longer actively mad about the situation,
it still hurts to look back on it. Every once
in a while when I hear about Dave get a

(45:48):
bitter taste in my mouth.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
I would too.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Since she married him, Tessa has only been able to
visit us once for a weekend, and it was only
because she had some paperwork to get in our state.
My best guess is that he probably would have not
let her go oh otherwise. He's also never come out
with her to see us, even though she goes home
every year to see them. From what I know of
her life now, other than being a housewife, she works
for his company and is so busy that her health

(46:11):
has actively been declining.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
That's terrifying. Yeah, I mean, that's very busy, very busy.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
I wish there was something we could do about it.
But she's so busy that we only ever get the
occasional text from her on holidays and birthdays. Any other
updates we hear it come from her grandmother, who calls
us from time to time. I wish I would have
seen the signs before. I wasn't around much when I
was seventeen because it was constantly traveling back and forth
between my mom and dad, who are separated and live
in two different countries. But from what little I knew

(46:36):
of this man, he seemed cool. I was so busy
juggling everything that I wasn't seeing the signs. I know
it was not my responsibility to tell her, since she
was a grown woman capable of making grown decisions, but
in my personal opinion, I feel that she should have
at least heard it from one person. Everyone else at
the time was doing nothing but seeing his praises. By
the way, you can praise us, praise us by listening

(46:58):
to fall episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app and
search up Okay story Time. But there is a little
bit left to the final thoughts about this marriage about Vegas.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
I would like, Oh, Peter, know that it is not
your responsibility what your adult friend decided to marry this man,
and these things and the signs and your concerns progressed
over time, so one it's not even if it looked bad.
It's not your responsibility to change your opinion or to

(47:28):
convince her not to marry this man, not that you
could if you tried. And then two like these concerns
have progressed and with time you have seen that, and
so it's I don't think it's fair to yourself to
kind of backtrack. And you're like, oh, I should have
seen all these signs in the very beginning, when her
herself couldn't have even seen that exactly.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
And again you were like seventy.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
And also I think there there is room to have
a conversation with your friend and instead of like say
blaming or anything, just be like I've I've been noticed
earned because of this and this, like can you glu
me in like what's going on?

Speaker 3 (48:05):
Absolutely just saying like I haven't seen in a long time,
and I just want you to know that you need
a place to stay, if you need.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Someone to talk to.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
It's now been years since I've seen her, and other
than the few updates I get now and then, I
don't know much about how they are now. So here's
where my title comes into play. Am I the ale
for still holding a grudge against Dave? Even after five years.
What are your opinions on the story? Do you think
I'm wrong? And how I think of Dave and what
do you all think of the situation. I never really
had anyone to talk with about this specific situation because

(48:34):
me and my mom aren't very close. We'd love some
input things for reading. And that is the end of
the story. No, I don't think you're the ale again.
You were seventeen, You were child in a situation where
two adults were getting married and maybe not the best match.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
And regardless, you haven't had anyone to talk to about
this situation, and it meant a lot to you. This
person was a good friend. You haven't had a long
history of good friends sticking around, and I can imagine
you feeling kind of let down, not only by Dave,
but by your friend, and so it's totally natural that
all those emotions are kind of grouped around Dave. And

(49:11):
also even after the fact, you kind of lost a
friend who I haven't seen for years because of this marriage.
So it makes sense that you're you're holding this grudge
and that you're.

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Upset exactly, But that is the end of the story.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
My friend is only taking advantage of my friendship, making
me sad. Direct sub Hello. My name is Ria female
and this involves a friend named Eva twenty six female.
I met Eva a few months ago in late August.
We met through a mutual ex Eva and I got
very close, super quickly. And by the way, this comes

(49:48):
from you dash Lonely Bone at eleven. If you want
to submit your own stories, go to Roka story Time subwritter.
So we are both into art and we both paint
to make jewelry together. My friend and I often sell
it mars vendor events around town. We even have an
art show coming up where we will both have some
art pieces on display. When I first met her, she
had no job, drank too much and smoked too much,

(50:10):
so much that she embarrassed herself at this vendor event
where we help this band sell merch. I was also embarrassed.
I did have a conversation with her the next day
or to tell her that things needed to change or else
our friendship could no longer be. In the upcoming weeks,
she changed a lot, at least in front of me.
She didn't drink like I would see her in the past.
She became a little more responsible with our vendor events. However,

(50:31):
she was still very forgetful and still smoked a lot,
but that's on her. Usually for our events, I am
the one who drives us, and if I happen to
get hungry, I also have to buy her food because
she doesn't have any money to get her own. We
usually do share a table, but I usually have more
of my stuff set up because she doesn't really create
too much art like she used to before I knew her.
She seems to start something and then leave it there

(50:52):
and begin on something else, so she is constantly just
reselling her old merchandise that hasn't sold. I do like
having her as a friend because she is the first
person that I actually got along with really well in
regards to having things in commons such as music, art creating.
I've allowed her to come spend the night in my
house when it is near an event so that we
could plan what we're taking and create a few pieces
befo going. We recently signed up for an artist event

(51:13):
where we have to draw something original and it would
be up for sale. I got my art in time,
but she did not, and she was going to drop
it off on the very last date that it would
be accepted. I did try to make sure that she
would take it on time, However, I never heard back
from her on that subject to see if she ended
up submitting it or not. Recently, she just got into
a relationship with her friend from some years ago. Ever
since then, which hasn't been very long, maybe two weeks

(51:35):
or so, she's been ignoring my text messages. To clarify,
these aren't text messages on catching up or silly questions,
not saying that asking how someone is doing is silly.
I just don't know how to ward it. However, I've
been texting her to see if art was submitted for
the art show, since I probably had to drive her
there because she may not have a ride. I also
want to be very supportive if she happens to have
her art on display. But ever since she got in

(51:56):
a relationship, she actually doesn't text me back at all.
She does, it will be the day of an event,
maybe hours leading to it. Honestly, it makes me sad
because growing up I didn't have a lot of court friends,
and I'm thirty now I am actually making up for
my teenage years now, as honestly, I didn't even have
teenage years as a normal teenager. Growing up, I was
just always bullied and I feel like I never really

(52:18):
fit in anywhere. I was also uber poor. Things got
a little better in my late twenties. So now that
I feel like I have a true connection with a friend,
all I ask for is basic communication. I currently do
have two best friends, both male about the same age
as me. However, it's not the same. They don't really
like crafting the way I do like painting and designing
and things like that. I love them, but we do
other things apart that we also enjoy. As for my

(52:40):
friend Eva, I've been very nice to her, even though
I haven't known her that long. It's been a little
under a year. She's always coming to my house and
we usually have a good time watching movies and crafting.
Of course, we also go out and sometimes more due
to our vendor events. Since i've known her, she has
a lot of boys who are friends. We went out
one time and my priority was to bring her home
because she doesn't with her mom. Gosh forbid, something happened

(53:02):
and her mom would come after me again. Yes, we
are adults. But again, she doesn't have a car and
she doesn't have a job.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
What you're both adults, But she doesn't have a car,
she doesn't have a job, she doesn't pay for anything,
so she doesn't have money. What does you have?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
It seems like because and then this is not dissing
you at all, because unfortunately you've had, you know, a
childhood without many friends, without the relationships that feel good
that you're making up and kind of like taking on
so much responsibility of this friendship where you're kind of
taking on her like a mother role.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
I mean, like there's a meshment of like having so
much responsibility of everything this human does.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
Even saying like, oh, her mom will come after me,
so you're taking on that role. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
No.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
And also I think going into the point of oh,
didn't have a lot of friends growing up, I think
sometimes when that happens, you have this feeling like if
you don't stay with this one friend, you're never going
to get another friend. And it's just knowing like you
will there are better friends out there than this.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Girl, the one that could show you the basics money
in a car and show you the basic respect of brand,
which is just responding back to you and you know,
basic communication and not making you feel like you have
to take care of everything she does. So yes, we
are adults, but again, she doesn't have a car and
she doesn't have a job, so if she is in danger,
technically I was the last person that she would have

(54:19):
been with. I found out that she wanted us to
leave her at a random coffee shop because she wanted
to hook up with a guy afterwards. That really irritated
me because I felt like she wasn't watching out for
her own safety or anything like that. Recently, like I mentioned,
got into a relationship about two weeks ago. The other
person doesn't know anything about her previous men in her life.
This guy seems like a really great guy and I
have no problems with him. He is a little shy,

(54:41):
so I haven't got to know him too well. The
thing is now she is just not answering my messages
when it's about our art show this Friday. I just
had to know she submitted anything or not, because she
and I are actually trying to save up to move
to another state for at least three months and our art.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
So don't move with her.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
This current relationship she's not showing up to and it
seems like any way you're wanting her to. And now
you're trying to expand on the relationships live with her
for and also three months in another state.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
How is she saving up? She doesn't have a job.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Well, all the art is selling. However, I just feel
like I'm putting more effort into this than she is.
But I'm always trying to give her the benefit of
the doop.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
Stop giving her the meta of doubt.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
Because as I mentioned, I do really enjoy her company.
Just because you enjoy someone's company doesn't mean that you
can't voice your frustration and that your feelings aren't valid,
and that if your needs aren't being met in a
friendship that you have no right to voice them. You
have every right to voice them.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
And you'd probably enjoy her company a lot more if
you didn't.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
Have to pay for Another thing is whenever she needs something,
it's like she expects a quick reply from me. I'm
not gonna lie. I do feel lonely at times, and
her messaging me back has nothing to do with how
I feel about that, but it does kind of break
me a little because it makes me feel like I'm
not really worthy of having anything good in my life
at times like friendship or love. I'm never the girl
that a guy will look at just because she's pretty.
It's usually always the other way around. Not to hate,

(56:00):
I promise That's not what I'm trying to do. But
at our vendor events, my friends is always getting hit on,
and like I mentioned before, I never really had many friends,
so I tend to get my hopes up with people,
and I try to always see the good people. I
just truly hope I'm not being used just for car
rides or to pay for the vendor fee at our
vendor events. So am I the ahole for expecting my
friend to message me back when it's about something important

(56:21):
such as our vendor events. Does it seem that I'm
projecting my lonely feelings onto someone else? Yes, But in
the case that you're not voicing your needs and voicing
your frustration, that's how you're projecting it, not by actually
voicing your need and frustration. Lately, she's only been messaging
me the day of and sometimes last minute, after ignoring
me that whole entire week. This is not the first

(56:43):
time that it's happened. It happened with our two previous
vendor events. In maximum, I will only message for twice,
once through personal phone and maybe the other on Instagram.
And not only are we available on Instagram, but we're
available on full episodes with stories just like this. Just
go to Spotify, Apple Podcast or your favorite podcast app.
And so it's okay, so do it. So there's another

(57:04):
relevant update, but let's discuss.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
I think it's just knowing that they're with again, there's
gonna be a lot of other people out there who
are going to be so much better than this girl.
I do think that she is trying to take advantage
of yond whether that's conscious or not, she she is.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
I think that's fair, whether it's conscious or not.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
She is because you're because you're spending money on her.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Yeah, you're putting a lot, or just you're you're putting
so much energy and time into this relationship and it's
not being recated exactly. I think a simple conversation could
be like, hey, I'm noticing it's taking you know, a
whole week to respond to and also that you know,
I'm paying for things and I'm like taking care of
you for different things. I'm feeling pretty like kind of

(57:47):
you don't have to say taken advantage of It's little blaming,
but you could feel like I'm feeling like frustrated and upset,
and I'm wanting to have like a reciprocal relationship with
you with what's going on here, Like bring some curiosity.
I think like voicing a lot like that, it would
be great. I don't like being very pushy because I
do believe that she's also a grown adult and needs
to take care of her business and not just have

(58:07):
someone else remind her or take care of it for her.
In regards to the friendship, what should I do? I
like her a lot, but feels she's not as responsible
as she should be. You should have a conversation, like
I just said, yeah.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
Brady answered to question, but I wish you all the
best and I hope that conversation goes well.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Look, and also, it seems like you have a lot
of belonging wounds and that I could relate. And I
think when those wounds show up, it's like when there
is a connection, there's like this grasping Oh in my past,
when I didn't have, you know, relationships that felt good.
There's like our biology craves human connections, so much so
that it's willing to suppress our own expression or suppress

(58:45):
our own emotions when we have that and to kind
of like take way less than we deserve, and it
seems like that's happening here. So again, Sophia pointed out
greatly that there are other people out there, and that
there are people that could provide a safe connection that
feels good, that feels nourishing, that can feel reciprocate.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of the episode. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My wife said ANOTHER man’s name while we were being intimate…she said it was a slip of the tongue! | Reddit Stories