My wife used to ENJOY our open marriage… until I started enjoying it too! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2249 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 4 (00:16):
My wife used to enjoy our open marriage until I
started enjoying it too.

Speaker 5 (00:21):
Nobody wins here.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
My wife, fifty female, and I fifty one male, have
been together for a little over twenty five years. We
don't have kids together, but we both have grown children
from previous relationships. The youngest, her daughter, moved out ten
years ago. After a period of empty nest syndrome. We
decided to be more adventurous in our spicy sleep life.
By the way, this comes from Oops and if you
want to submit your own story, is gonna be our

(00:44):
Slasher Cood story Time Separate. This sled about eight years
ago to us deciding to enter in an open marriage.
I enjoy hearing about and seeing her with other guys,
so this worked for me. Despite not being overly interested
in sleeping with others myself. I've had a few one
night stands over the years with her knowledge, and that's
never caused a problem. My wife, on the other hand,
has had anything from friends with benefits to full on

(01:05):
boyfriends over the last eight years. Wow, She's even had
serious feelings for a few people. None of that has
ever hurt us. If anything, I think we're stronger now
than we were a decade ago. A year and a
half ago, I met a woman forty five female in
line at a grocery store. She was very attractive, recently divorced,
and seemed interested in me. I decided to pursue it,
first with drinks, then later with proper dates. My wife

(01:26):
was aware of what was happening at every stage. She
thought it was cute and never hinted that it bothered her.
The other woman, Jane, knows that I'm married and is
okay with it, though she's held me at arm's length
for most of our time together. Recently, however, we've gotten
much closer. A few months ago, we had our first sleepover.
I went to her place. It wasn't all spicy sleep either.
We really got to know each other, felt more like

(01:47):
a real relationship, and since then things have progressed to
the point that I split my time between my wife
and Jane fairly equally. My wife has done this many
times in the past, and it's never been in a
shoe with either of us. Two weeks ago, we had
a massive fight about Jane. Apparently she feels very threatened
by my new relationship with her. She feels that I'm
replacing her and that nothing she's done is equivalent. Nothing

(02:08):
was really solved. Everything blew over the next day, but
it still lingers in the air between us. Every time
I get a text from Jane, my wife scowls or
leaves the room abruptly. I don't even bother mentioning her anymore.
I love my wife and I love my marriage, but
I care deeply for Jane. I don't want to give
her up. I feel like my wife is being selfish here.
I don't have many friends so I can talk to
you about this, so any advice would be much appreciated.

(02:28):
There is a quick edit. My wife has had even
closer relationships with other men over the years. One even
lived with us for a short while. Oh wow. I
felt like she was going to leave me, and when
we discussed those feelings, she understood and reassured me that
I was her primary. I did the same thing when
she came to me with her concerns, and suddenly I'm
cheating and about to ruin our marriage. Nothing either of
us has done goes against the rules that we established

(02:51):
and re established frequently. At number two, I'm going to
talk to her tonight. I won't bring up the fairness
aspect to this, as many of you pointed out that
there is no such thing as fair in an argument
like this. I think I'll try to focus on what
she feels threatened about. I love my wife and marriage
and wouldn't choose anyone over her. I'm starting to understand
that that's probably where her insecurity lies. She needs to
understand how I feel about her and how my feelings

(03:12):
for Jane don't affect our marriage. Are some comments, but
I want to hear your comments. What do you think
so far?

Speaker 5 (03:19):
Yeah, at that edit kind of helped a little bit
because he did say I love my wife and I
love my marriage, but I really care for Jane, like
you're like they're equal. No, it's always your wife. And
when it comes to open marriages, it seems like you
guys were doing really well. But maybe she's just irked
by this one person because it's like you had passed
hookups for and you guys seem very you know adamant like,

(03:41):
this is okay. Communication is clear. Had somebody live in
your house? Yeah, one of her partners, which is very interesting,
and he's good like good on you guys that your
trust is that deep and you guys can mutually agree
with that. But again the fairness thing, which is like
when it comes to open marriages, there's such a thing
as fairness per se. You guys have ground rules. But

(04:02):
you had to ask her exactly why is she so
bothered by Jane Again, it seems like you did stay
fifty to fifty of your time. It should be more so.
Seventy five twenty five, I don't talk to your wife.
See what making her not like this?

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Coming Number one says, Okay, based on what you're saying,
your wife is being completely unreasonable. She's insecure because for
the first time the boot is on the other foot.
She never had to deal with this kind of jealousy
because for her, your open relationship meant that she could
have boyfriends, but you would only have one night's dance.
Probably never thought about it too much because she was
getting hers and people don't think about things when they're

(04:37):
having fun. But she wanted to have her cake and
eat it and just assumed that it would always be
that way because that's what would suit her and it
was already happening. You don't have to answer this, but
has it been a while since your wife had an
extra marital relationship? The way you've described it, it sounds
like her fun was in this semi recent past, whereas
you hardly indulged until now. Maybe she's being faced with

(04:58):
starting to grow older and maybe hitting or approaching menopause,
whereas you will continue to just be the same for
the next fifteen or so years at least, or if
you take care of yourself, and she doesn't like the
implications that you're able to cultivate this new relationship with
a younger woman whilst she is starting to feel less
desirable and less able to cultivate her own new relationships.
Just a thought, Opie responds, I think you're one hundred

(05:22):
percent right. She never had to deal with me spending
the night at someone else's house, or me getting sweet texts,
or any of those intimate things that seem to drive
her crazy. Now she's had all that and more for
eight years, and it was tough at first, but I
got used to it. She seems adamant that I'm at fault.
She refuses to get used to it because she sees
this as me replacing her. She generally has a few
guys she's seeing at any given time. Sometimes she'll have

(05:45):
a quote boyfriend who she's closer to or spends plenty
of time with. Her current boyfriend has been around for
about a year. Comment number two says it might be
time to either close up the relationship or end your open.
Relationship with Jane seems a bit more serious than most
in relationships I've seen, and your wife seems sorried that
you might wind up leaving her for Jane. Your wife
has had her boyfriends, but did she ever give the

(06:07):
feeling that she might leave you for one of them?
As I mentioned before, she might be getting a feeling
that you loved Jane more than her. Opie response. My
wife has had even closer relationships with other men over
the years. One even lived with us for a short while.
I felt like she was going to leave me, and
we discussed those feelings. She understood and reassured me that
I was her primary. I did the same thing when
she came to me with her concerns, and suddenly I'm

(06:28):
cheating and about to ruin our marriage. Nothing either of
us has done goes against the rules that we established
and re established frequently, and there is an update. We
had a long talk last night. It turns out that
she was upset by several things, the most serious of
which was Jane's son. I didn't mention him before because
I didn't think that he was relevant to the issue,
but I was really wrong. Seems like she feels that

(06:50):
I'm too close to Jane and her family, which is
something that she hasn't done with her partners in the past.
She's worried that all forged some kind of father's son
bond with the kid. In reality, I've only met him
a few times, though I have mentioned him to my wife.
He's eighteen and spends most of his time at his
girlfriend's place. He also has his own father who he
spends time. I told her all of this. It seems
to settle her a bit, but she was still concerned

(07:10):
with the time a lot. I mentioned that maybe she
was freaking out because I never really did anything like
this before, thought about it and agreed. She was scared
that I'm looking for something new or just bored. I
assured her that she's my primary and then I would
have been happy with things staying the same had Jane
not come along. That didn't go over too well. But
I clarify that I meant no one else seemed interesting
enough to continue seeing.

Speaker 5 (07:31):
Again.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
She didn't lie like that, but she understood what I meant.
And there is a little bit more into this story.
But I like that would hurt me too.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
I feel, yeah, now this is now, this is making
more sense that I feel like Opie was sitting out. Yes,
you were seeing Jane, but now you Yeah, now it's
a little bit more sense because there's a biled involved
or like a treasure involved, right though you met a
couple of times. The fact that you're like kid Pool
or try I thought you were seeing Jane not being
you know, a new father role.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
Right right, and like the fact that she was scared
of him, like leaving her for someone new, like maybe
finding someone that he likes more. And then he's like, well,
I mean I just didn't like anyone until Jane came along.
It's like, hey, that's not gonna make me feel any
better liking this girl like I would. That would make
me more worried that you were like in love with.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
Her another crucial part. So we're getting a little bit
from Opie's wife's side, which again kind of called it out.
He was scared because you were giving more time to Jane,
and obviously you like Jane great, but it's like you're like,
you really are into Jane rather than your wife.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
But there is a little bit more to the story,
and let's wrap this on up. He cried a lot,
so did I. We ended up having spicy sleep halfway through,
which was a nice comfort. Afterwards, she asked me if
I loved Jane. I didn't want to lie, so I
said yes. She cried again. I asked if she had
ever loved anyone else. I knew the answer. I just
wanted her to see that she wasn't being totally fair.

(08:59):
She got my point, but I still said that she
needed more time to adjust. That was nice to hear,
because up until then she was saying that she'd never
get used to it. I asked what I could do
to use her transition. I also offered couples therapy with
a spicy, hobby friendly doctor as someone suggested. She likes
the therapy idea. I think she thought that I was
ready to divorce her or something, so me wanting to
work on things brought a smile to her face. We

(09:19):
ended up deciding to look into therapy, but in the meanwhile,
I'd continue seeing Jane with her blessing. She doesn't want
to take a break from our open relationship, but she
does want way more love affirmations from me. Thank you
everyone that replied here and sent me pms. I'll try
to update this again if anything new happens. I don't
think we're out of the woods yet, but we're a
lot happier than we were a few days ago. And

(09:40):
that is the end of that story.

Speaker 5 (09:42):
Obviously, you guys are communicating, and you guys have been
doing this for a long time. And again it's your
comfortability level is so much higher than hers, and trust
in her it's a little bit higher than hers. And
that makes sense because she's not used to this from
your side. So and the fact that she's like, Okay,
we're gonna continue everything. I'll just do a couple of therapy. Great,
just tread lightly, you know, always double check with her. Communicate.

(10:05):
This is with open relationships. The biggest factor is communicating
and making sure you're honest and you are both happy,
but that is the.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
End of the story. We've got another one coming right up.

Speaker 5 (10:16):
My friend is unhappy with my wife, but I don't
want to lose them both.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
I can't decide.

Speaker 5 (10:22):
I twenty six male, have been married for about four years.
Before I met my wife twenty seven female. I was
actually single for almost seven years. Never had a high
school sweetheart or really anything like that. I have a
good amount of female friends, but none that I was
ever practiced. I thought I was attracted to one, but
it was more of infatuation, and I decided to cut
off any chance of a relationship before I deployed one
year so that I wouldn't end up getting sucked into

(10:44):
a meetingless relationship. By the way, this comes from user
bills a Man zero zero and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime suppered it. My wife actually was never part of
my friend group, not even from the town I'm currently
stationed in. I was visiting a city in Texas when
I first saw her to bar hop with a few
guys from that city that wanted me to see my
first rodeo as well. I actually saw her for the

(11:05):
first time at a video game store. I stopped in
to look at discount games, and she worked at the
bookstore next door. He was seriously the most beautiful girl
I'd ever seen in my life. She was one hundred
percent unlike any one of me or my friends. I'm
covered in tattoos and wear trashy holes in my pants
oversized black shirts. She was in slacks, a buttoned down
pink shirt with a gold necklace that had her monogrammed

(11:27):
initials on it, which is relevant because she was the
last person in the world that anyone expected me to
totally fall for. I immediately had to talk to her.
I don't talk to girls I don't know, but I
had to talk to her. She was beyond intelligent, and
I found out he had actually gone to school and
had wealthy parents and worked part time there and had
a part time internship in the city at a big company.
It's the rodeo of that trip because the rest of it,

(11:49):
because of the rest of the time I spent with her.
I proposed to her after two years of long distance
dating and meant to leave the military to join her
in that city. However, I ended up staying in and
she dropped everything to move in with me, a sacrifice
I will never forget. I'm a jealous person, and she's
not a mean or vindictive person. She's sweet and timid.
A lot of my female friends were instantly enraged when

(12:12):
I started dating her, and I had to give up
a few that were constantly demonizing her and putting her
down an attempt to urge me to break up with her.
It actually strained our relationship quite a bit because she
felt really small compared to how many female friends I
had felt intimidated by how many she was sure had
feelings for me. Anyways, I kept the friends that were
nice to her, and she became friends with them as well,
and loves them and talks to them almost daily. So

(12:34):
here's kind of the part where it got rocky. I
should mention my wife is pregnant now, the girl we
found out last week. He's still beautiful, but she's been
feeling terrible about her. She hasn't gained weight, but her
nausea is keep her inside a lot, begetting a lot
of acne that bothers her. I took her to see
a friend that was in town, so my female friends
named Jessica. She actually loves Jessica and talks to her
often and admires Jessica's tattoos and stuff. They're nothing alike

(12:57):
but have found common interest and both open minded. I've
been Jessica's friend since the fifth grade, and I've known
her family that long too, so I brought my wife
to meet Jessica in person along with her family. I
thought it didn't go that bad, but as soon as
we left that night, my wife was in tears and
didn't want to go with me to see Jessica again.
Spent the whole time catching up and eating good food.
Jessica's dad and I are both and Slash were in

(13:19):
the military and always get together to drink to talk
about it and catch up. My wife was mostly helping
Jessica's mom cook and talk about the new baby, and
she'd also talked to Jessica. Jessica's brother, Brandon, who's twenty
and acts like I'm not just twenty year old, was interjecting.
But I just told my wife not to take him
seriously because he acts like he knows everything to fit in.
According to my wife, she thinks Jessica's family is disappointed
that I married her. He began naming exact instances and

(13:41):
I started to see it, and now I feel guilty.
When my wife went to the bathroom, Jessica's mom took
photos of only me and Jessica. Jessica changed my phone
background from my ultrasound picture of my daughter two picture
of me kind of staring into Jessica's eyes. It was
a weird image that I didn't realize someone caught on camera.
Her brother kept telling me how hot all the girls
I went to high school. God told me right in
front of my wife not to worry that nobody will

(14:03):
let anyone, meaning my wife, be jealous or keep me
from agreeing. At one point, my wife jokingly pointed out
that she was the only one without tattoos. Jessica's dad,
my longtime friend, neared and said, baby, it's time to
figure out some individuality and branded keipt talking about how
stupid monogram clothing and jewelry, something my wife loves and
wears all the time, looked, and how vapid girls who

(14:25):
wear it are. Jessica treated my wife's yorky like it
was the grossest thing in the world, and Jessica's entire
family mostly talked about how great Jessica and I's friendship
was since we're kids. Now, I feel like an idiot
and guilty. I want to say Jessica's friend, but I
feel like my female friends are dwindling to nothing because
none of them get along with my wife or really
care for her or treat her like she exists. In fact,

(14:46):
none of my friends treat her like she exists. They
invite me out or me to my hometown, and they
congratulate me on things like promotions, but no one has
ever told me congratulations on my child, or my marriage
or anything my wife. It feels devastated and like she
cost me my friends in a weird way. I feel
like marrying her cost me my friends too. I didn't
change my phone background, and my wife was hurt and

(15:08):
asked me too, because she found a picture inappropriate. She
pointed out that I post just pictures of me and
other girls all over my Facebook and stuff, but nothing
exists of her on there. I mentioned that nobody ever
says anything about our photos, so what's the point. She
got frustrated and has been spending nights at her friend's house.
He's been gone for two days. I don't know how
to fix this or what to do. I love my friends.

(15:28):
I successfully kept all of my high school and middle
school friends and relationships. My wife is beautiful and she's
smart and nice, but my friends have been with me
for life. I feel like a damn idiot for putting
a hot girl I met in Texas in front of
my friendship. But I have an obligation to make my
wife a happy wooman, especially because she's now pregnant. I'm lost,
and I don't know how to approach her or talk
about I don't want to lose my friends. I want

(15:50):
them to be happy for me, but they just aren't.
In continuing my life with her will one day cost
me everybody. I don't like that. Yeah, it's I don't
like it tough.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
It's tough because inside some situations that is a thing,
like you don't want to give up your friendships just
for like someone that you started dating or something like that.

Speaker 5 (16:06):
But this is different one Faldr, I am trying to
get my pregnant wife to divorce me.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Is it working?

Speaker 5 (16:11):
Jesus man, you married a saint. You don't actually have
to nail her to the cross. You I meant to wait, wait,
you don't post pictures of you with your wife because
you wouldn't get any likes. I gotta tell you she
deserves more respect than that, and your friend Jessica was
really disrespectful. Maybe you should stop befriending rude people and
stop blaming your wife. Oh pee, which was downvoted two
hundred and sixteen times. Well, a lot of it is

(16:33):
also because she hates any pictures I take of us.
But yeah, anytime i'd post something with her, I'd get
like one or two likes, Then something of myself would
get over seventy and everyone would tell me how great
I look. It just didn't feel right, and it felt
like a big fu to the woman I married. Yeah,
Jessica was, She's one of my best friends, but that
just crossed the line. I love my friends, but my
wife is number one. Tom a number three. Well, do

(16:54):
you love your wife a lot? Are you willing to
sacrifice her and your child for a few jealous girls.
His friends obviously aren't grown up enough, and maybe you
need more male friends in your life. If having female
friends are the problem, then befriends their husbands or keep
on establishing a deeper connection with your current male friends.
Your wife is going through a pregnancy and feeling mortified
to take in insults from your friends. He dropped everything

(17:16):
to be with you. Give her the same back, ope,
I do. I love her a lot even now, imagining
life without her sucks. I actually do have a lot
of male friends too. The male friends from my hometown
think I married someone stuck up and that she's removing
me from our dynamic by pressing me to be more
of a homey, family guy. I actually love spending time
with her and being that guy. I lost a lot
of male friends too, who would openly oppose me being

(17:38):
with her, then turn around and text her and at
her and ask her if she looks good into bikini. However,
none of my friends here military are like that, and
all deeply respect her. He cooks for the single soldiers
and who watches kiddos so our friends can go on
dates and be happy. The community loves her, and she
volunteers off. You're right, I'm humiliating her by letting this happen.
He dropped her life to be with me. I ower
happiness and peace of mind coming number four. I'm also

(18:00):
curious as to what possible reasons, Jessica, her family and most,
not all, of your friends are so against your wife.
You haven't really said anything about your wife and her
attitude that could be the reasons why so many people
dislike her. So I'm just going to go ahead and
reach the conclusion that you're so called friends are just
mean and rude and get off on making someone feel inferior. Seriously,
has your wife ever given them any reason for them

(18:21):
to dislike and disapprove of her? No, then stop feeling
like it's your wife's fault that you've lost a lot
of friendships. I think it's not about her alienating your
friends from you, but more like your friends are trying
their hardest to alienate you from your wife. She's your wife.
You two are supposed to be partners for life. I
know I honestly wouldn't want to be friends with people
who make my significant other feel unwelcome and undeserving of

(18:42):
me with no good and legitimate reason. Oh Pee, I
think Jessica's family was making on me ending up with her. Honestly,
I was a huge flirt in high school and ended
up never acting on how I be paid. I was
single forever and everyone was used to that, and then
I drastically changed when I met this girl. She actually
doesn't come off as rude or judgey at all. My
wife about current events and science and volunteers for the community.

(19:02):
He works at a retirement center and drives veterans to
the store to get groceries. He's hot and looks like
she'd have a stuck up personality. But it's so opposite.
I think my friends are intimidated because this was the
last person in the world, our enemy, our whole lives
who made it so inadequate that I would have ended
up with. Once my wife called out one of my
female friends for openly lying, was caught off guard because
she was stern about it. He lied about his ex
girlfriend cheating on him when the exact opposite happened. Ever since,

(19:26):
he hated her. But that was about the worst. You
are right, I'm in this weird us versus her mentality,
and I think it's my regret for not having better
friends and warning the loss of them that's getting to
me right now. That is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
Yeah, well he got there eventually, because that is true.
I mean ifol like yeah, like again, there are so
many situations where it is the opposite and the friends
are like, you know, calling something up that's actually bad,
and it's like, Okay, don't leave your friends for this
random person, you know what I mean. But this seems
like so not that situation. Ope, if you think this
is the good person, stick by that. And then if

(19:59):
if these friends are just hating on her for seemingly
no reason or maybe like superficial reasons, know that you
are right and stand by her. And it's just showing
It's not showing that there's a problem with your wife,
is showing that there's.

Speaker 5 (20:11):
A problem with your friend friends exactly.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
So I'm so glad that you made it there. In
the end, my supervisor is seducing me, but I'm happily married.

Speaker 5 (20:21):
Uh, get out of here, grossie.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
I've a thirty one male been working my current job
for about a year and a half now pretty cool,
pays fairly well, and doesn't usually have long hours. It's
been great because it provides a good life for me
and my great wife, so I can't complain by the way.
This comes from Tom foughtaw and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime separreddit. In the first year that I've had the job,

(20:43):
I've mostly had a great working relationship with my supervisor
early forties and female. Professionally, she's a great supervisor at work.
She challenges me to learn new things to grow my
career and always goes to the bat and defends me
with higher ups. She honestly has made me a better
person professionally and is wonderful in that regard. Personally, though,
she's a little bit of a mess. She's a divorce

(21:03):
woman around ten years or so older than me. She
has constant drama with her ex husband that I've picked
up on. She is very good about not bringing it
into work, but I've overheard some phone conversations and she's
told me a bit of it at times over lunch
and stuff. She's also a huge flirt I've never noticed
it with anyone in the office, but she's used it
as a quote tool at times at trade shows and

(21:25):
and such to push details. For example, She's not an
unattractive woman at all, so she does that fairly successfully.
Up until about two months or so ago, I always
just dismissed that as something funny and not something worth
worrying about. That is, until some of that flirting started
being directed my way. She had sometimes done this kind
of innocently as a joke in the past, which was
easily dismissible, but lately it kind of feels like it's

(21:48):
crossed the line a bit. She'll knowingly lean over so
I can look down her shirt, will leave her hands
on my shoulder a bit too long, and makes slightly
spicy related jokes stuff like that. I brought it up
with my wife over Christmas break, and she was a
bit conflicted. She's met my supervisor before and liked her,
so on the one hand, she thought that she was
just being her usual self, kind of like a female
version of Michael Scott from the office. But on the

(22:10):
other hand, she does think it's a bit weird, but
doesn't really know what I should do. She's been my
lifeline at work so many times and has defended me
when most others wouldn't. I'd be putting myself into a
really risky situation politically at work if I tried to
initiate any conflict or risk my professional relationship with her.
Now here's the real gick, girl. I have a work
trip coming up in about a month or so where
it will be just the two of us. We've done

(22:31):
this twice in the past, obviously we have two different
rooms don't travel together, as she just lets me borrow
her corporate card and make my own travel arrangements as
long as I get a good deal. But I'll be
meeting up with her in Vegas for a three night
trade show thing. I'm concerned that her flirting might escalate
things in that she'll try to pull something. Well, I
don't have concrete evidence. I'm fairly certain that she has
done this or not necessarily with anyone in the office,

(22:54):
but with other guys in the industry from other businesses.
I really enjoy working with this lady, and I'm beyond
appreciative for what she's done with me in my career.
But I'm also extremely happily married, and I'm concerned that
she is thinking about trying something on our upcoming Vegas trip.
Any ideas on what to do? And there is an update.
I didn't want to make an entirely new update thread
as nothing major has happened as of yet, but there

(23:15):
have been a few small developments in the past twenty
four hours. First, I found out a few more details
about my trip next weekend. I'll be headed out from
a nearby airport Wednesday and getting to Vegas that night.
My supervisor is going to be there already and is
going to pick me up at the airport since still
already have a rental car. We have most of the
day off on Thursday, and she's told me that she
wants to meet one of our clients Thursday evening for dinner. Well,
I can't know for sure. I'm fairly certain that there

(23:37):
is no client really coming to dinner on Thursday. The
show doesn't really start until Friday afternoon, and only exhibitors
are going to be there on Thursday, not really attendees.
I could be blowing it out of proportion, but after
reading what everyone said here yesterday, my spidy senses are
kind of tingling. I also noticed two little non verbal
things yesterday. Came to my office to check on a
project where that we're working on and kind of sat

(23:59):
on the edge of my yes leaning over to check
on something on my computer screen. Without going into detail,
she did all of this in a way that was
a little uncomfortably intimate. It's embarrassing and uncomforting because my
male instinct punted it in and I've found myself having
thoughts that I hated myself for this is headed an
in direction that I do not like. I did some
checking around yesterday and there's no way that I can

(24:20):
back out of the trip. I've already got meetings scheduled
with colleagues and clients. Everything's booked in my name and
is more or less non refundable, especially the high cost
vendor badge, which is non transferable. I've also talked with
my wife and tried to see if she can come along,
but that's not really possible as she has got the
biggest event of the year and her workplace to tend
to next Friday and Saturday. So seriously, what do I do?

(24:40):
And we do have an update. I just got back
from the trip last night and things went well awkwardly.
I followed everyone's best advice from the previous thread and
mostly kept myself and kept things professionable as possible. I
went ahead and arranged my own travel from the airport
to my hotel this past Wednesday, and fainted some excuses
to not do anything with her until Thursday at lunch,

(25:02):
when we met up to plan stuff for our booth
at the trade show and get it set up and such.
We had normal chit chat. Otherwise, she seemed comparably tame
to how she's acted in the past, and my previous
fears started to fade away. We got our booths set up,
kind of went our own separate ways for a few
hours to do some too received Vegas stuff for a while,
met some colleagues from another company for dinner, and called
it a night because we both agreed that we'd want

(25:23):
good sleep before having to get up early and work
a long trade show from eight am to five pm
the next day. The next day, working the show went fine.
We were actually pretty productive and such. I politely turned
down adult sodas and such as they were passed around
the show floor, opting instead for diet spicy flower or whatever.
The company hosting the show had a nice dinner and

(25:43):
social hour for us afterwards, and I felt comfortable enough
to have a mixed drink. I know my limits and
knew that one wouldn't put me too far. Afterwards, I
took a half mile walk down the strip to go
get into a little Vegas trouble and lose a little
money and had fun and got back to the hotel
room about nine so I could watch the movie and
get to sleep early. Again. I felt pretty good about
the trip. So far, business was good, having a good time,

(26:05):
and my boss was wellmaved, at least until that point.
This is where things got Dicey got a call from
my supervisor about nine thirty saying that she wanted to
go over some info before we had a meeting with
the client in the morning. She acted mostly professionally to
that point, so I didn't worry too much, but asked
if she wanted to just meet in the lobby bar,
which she agreed to. We met up for a bit

(26:25):
and she mentioned that she forgot a folder in her
room and asked me to come with her because there
was just one more thing she wanted to check on.

Speaker 5 (26:32):
Why are you acting like you can't say no?

Speaker 4 (26:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (26:35):
Why are you acting like you could just be like
I'm uncomfortable?

Speaker 4 (26:38):
Yeah, Well, I mean, he's worried about his job being missed.
But but I feel like in this situation, wait outside
the door. Wait outside the door, don't get into the room,
just be like, you know, go grab.

Speaker 5 (26:47):
It, or like I'll walk, I'll walk you to your room, like.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
And we'll go back down, We'll go back down, or
like I'll wait, I'll hold your seat.

Speaker 5 (26:54):
Oh yeah, I'll order you another drinker exactly like op.
He's acting like the like you already made excuses like
I'll get to the airport and I'll avoid her until Thursday.
It's like what I mean?

Speaker 4 (27:03):
It seems to give him some credit. It seems like
he's doing some good things to like avoid her and
like not having too many adult drinks.

Speaker 5 (27:11):
And he gets to like a certain point he's like,
I don't know what I can do.

Speaker 4 (27:14):
Yeah, there are some things where maybe I.

Speaker 5 (27:15):
Can do something. You have options, right.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
This was kind of a red flag, but she had
been normal to that point, so I reluctantly agreed. We
got back to her room and she got me the
folder that had the client and for that we needed
to look over. She said that she needed to use
the bathroom really quick while I looked it over. After
a moment, she comes back into the room in a bathrobe.
I knew where this was possibly going, and I immediately
wanted out. I got up and said I'd better go

(27:38):
call my wife and get a good night's sleep, but
she kept asking questions about the client and what I thought.
I kind of stammered through, looking for an opportunity to leave,
but she was sort of standing in the way where
I couldn't just leave. It's all a blur at this point.
But she dropped her row.

Speaker 5 (27:51):
Oh she she did that thing. I looked away immediately,
but she.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Was standing there in lace panties and nothing else. I
did not want to be attracted to her and give
into any primal mail notion, so I just kind of
averted my eyes and slipped out the door and said
I would see her in the morning. I called my
wife and told her what happened. She was just kind
of dumb struck and didn't really know what to tell me,
felt so confused. Part of me was offended that she'd
go that far. Part of me was scared to death

(28:15):
over what would happen next, and I'll be embarrassingly honest
that primal mail part of me was a little excited
that something actually happened. I even told my wife about it,
and with her encouragement and a few fun Snapchat pictures
she sent me, I visited certain sites on the internet
and got that out of my sister. The next morning,
it was as if nothing happened. I was probably acting
very awkwardly the next two days and tiptoeing around her,

(28:36):
but she acted as if nothing happened. It was cheaper
for the company to stay in another night and fly out
Monday afternoon, and I just totally kept my distance between
the end of the show Sunday afternoon and when I left.
It's the first day back in the office today, but
she took an off day today and won't be back
in until tomorrow. I have no idea what to do.
It's possible that she'll just never talk about it again,
but so are many other possibilities. If I try to

(28:57):
bring it up with anyone here at the office, it'll
just be word against hers. I just have no clue
how to proceed here. I've already been looking elsewhere for
other jobs for around two months now and haven't had
much luck. So I don't know if I can just leave.
It's just so dang confusing. Now is the end of
that story, But we.

Speaker 5 (29:12):
Just leave the elephant in the room.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
Well, I think, yeah, I think she's not going to
bring it up. She's not going to bring it up.
She's clearly rejected. This is up to you op to
be just be like, hey, talk for a second, be
like I have noticed like flirtatious things in the past.
Didn't want to say anything because they wasn't so sure.
But when you just took off your clothes in front
of me, that was absolutely not okay. And that's that.

(29:36):
It made it so much clear that you have been
doing this stuff. I don't want to report you to HR.
Tell her that, but like, you can definitely do that.

Speaker 5 (29:42):
I threaten me, how far are you?

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (29:44):
Exactly, like so stupid, but yeah, and maybe record this conversation, yeah,
just in case. But yeah, I don't want to like
report you to HR because I appreciate the things you've
done for me and I appreciate our professional time together. However,
it needs to stay professional, and you did not do that.
I have a wife I'm not in interested in you
like that. Yeah, you have to be started laid down
the law because she is. She's not going to start

(30:05):
that conversation.

Speaker 5 (30:05):
No, not at all, because it's a thing of power
as well. Yeah, like, oh, hen can I had to
bring it up, the elephant in the room.

Speaker 4 (30:10):
He's not going to do anything about it.

Speaker 5 (30:11):
Yeah, might just keep going. I would say, keep looking
for a job.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
That is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (30:16):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here we get back
to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
My boyfriend refused to get me a Christmas gift, even
though I already bottom one. Oh man, that's bad boyfriends.
I twenty one female. I've been dating Rob, twenty three male,
since February, and I thought things were going really well
until today. I know it's already ridiculously late to speak
about presence, and I wish we'd discussed this earlier. I
just assumed even if we hadn't spoken about giving presents,

(30:41):
we would still be exchanging some. Well, today I brought
up that I couldn't wait for Christmas and I was
wondering what my parents were going to get me, and
he started going off about how he's so against presence
and the idea of gifts are.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
Lame, lame. Yeah, only nerds want presents.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Right, But by the way, hey, this comes from what
to do now And if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddits
Boys of year olds. So I was taking it back
and asked, so you're not giving me anything and he
said nah. He told me he's never bought anything for anyone,

(31:18):
so I shouldn't expect to be different.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
Sounds like a solid earth kind of man.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
He's laying it down, like I.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Mean, at least he's consistent. He's he's telling the truth.
I guess we spoke for a long while about why
and such, but it's not important as in the end,
he still isn't going to give me anything.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
I mean, I think I think we should know why.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Hmmm.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
I feel like that would help you understand. Like maybe
he's like if if his why is like I don't
believe in earthly possessions, and I feel a lot the
material things influenced my happiness negatively, like that's kind of
like a goaded an. So I'm like, oh, okay, maybe
that's it, you know, but there's another one.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Maybe not.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
If he's like I don't like spending fifteen dollars on you, yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
But he'll spend fifteen dollars on like a macho latte,
It's like, well, I see what your priorities are. You know,
you're you're trying to trying to boo up this fake
coffee instead of bowing up with me. Awesome, thank you.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
I feel personally attacked.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
I got a mucha this morning, so I feel as
if things have changed since his conversation in only a
few hours. I feel as if I'm obviously not too
important to him if he hasn't gone out of his
way to give me even a tiny gift. I made
it clear I do like giving and receiving presents, and
I told him I'd already bought his, so he said

(32:49):
that he would just take his then take his present.
Is it wrong of me to not want to give
him his present if I won't be receiving one. I
think it's a little selfish that he's going to accept
his present without giving me anything just super quick. I
think it's about the emotions being met, Yeah, more something
in the presence.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah. What it sounds like.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Is op he is more invested in the relationship than
her boyfriend, and she's feeling through the through the pro
present thing.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah. Yeah, he's not engaged. He is not responding to
a once or a thing.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
That now, and he's not mirroring her energy. Indeed, I
feel like as soon as you stop mirroring someone's energy
and started treating like the relationship is can be can
be can be hurt. At least it's not going to
grow in more depth.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Very true, But I.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Don't want to break up, but I am wondering how
important this relationship is to him. This may sound melodramatic,
but I've never been with someone with such odd views
on Christmas.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
What do you guys think? Should I take his present back?

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Should I give it to him and ask if you'll
make an exception and buy me at least a little something?
Or should I keep the presence for myself? Also it
things were to go downhill? Is this a ridiculous reason
to break up? Have you ever met someone with similar opinions?
And thanks in advance, ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
How has been together?

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Uh, that's a good question. We know they're twenty one
and twenty three.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Uh, they've been dating since February, so I think it's
months and not a year.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Bluss.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
I think I would. I think I would. Uh, I mean,
I think I would talk about it first, obviously, But yeah,
I just I feel like there's a mismatch and it
deserves a conversation. And this is probably like the present
thing is an embodiment of like a larger issue within
the relationship, with feeling that there's mismatched energy being put in.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
I agree, Yeah, you gotta gotta listen, gotta listen to
your to your partner. See you know, listen shut it down.
That shut it down, Ladies and gentlemen, you can. But
we have an update.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Lots of crap has happened since I wrote this post,
and it's been pretty hectic. I decided to keep the
gift I got him. It was two games for the
PS four, and because I like gaming and I don't
have those games, I figured i'd keep them for myself.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
I knew taking them.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Back would be pointless because I'd end up buying something
similar anyways, So I opened them as I was feeling
way too stressed about this, and played them happily. It
did cheer me up for a bit, so did calling
a few friends. So I decided to speak to him.
I went over to his house and I asked him
if this meant I'd not be getting presents for my

(35:44):
Birthday or Valentine's Day either, and he said those holidays
were different.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Wait, Valentine's Day is different than Christmas.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
He says that Birthday and Valentine's Day are different, and
then Christmas.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
I wonder if he has like a traumatic Christmas story.
Christmas is so.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Much more a gift giving thing than Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day,
you can. I mean, I feel like you could get
away with like a smooch and a flower, but like
you can't give a smooch and a flower on Christmas.
Like you gotta get like a lego set of like
gotta be something.

Speaker 4 (36:19):
Yeah, it's so true, man, there, it is so true.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
True.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
So he said those holidays were different. Then apparently the
only holiday he was against giving gifts on.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Is christmasbe he's Jewish, it could be. But this confused
me even more.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, As if he's against present giving,
shouldn't it be for all holidays and not just one.
I asked him if it had to do with religious reasons,
and he said, no, good question. He just disliked the
idea of Christmas and that was it. He doesn't stand
for Christmas.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Okay? He this the guy really is the Grinch.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
He has been brought up thinking that it wasn't normal
to give presents on Christmas. And then I brought up
another point that was mentioned a few times in the comments.
How come I wasn't an exception?

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Right? I'm special, I'm cool, he's special.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
I should be a little bit more important to him,
I hope, and therefore he could have bought me something anyways,
just because I'm his girlfriend and it would have been
nice to receive something. He told me he'd never make
an exception for anyone because those were his beliefs and
anyone who dated him would need to understand and respect
that man it hates Christmas dude. Yes, yes, Riley, this

(37:34):
is that guy. This is that guy, but having way
less fun. He's swimming in all thirty of his dollars
he saved on the bath and body Works gift he
would have gotten her.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Also, I'd just like to say that Scrooge would break
every bone in his body if he was trying to
dive into his money.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
That's actually a very good point.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
Wow, dude, don't believe everything you see on TV.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
So I guess what happened?

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Guys?

Speaker 2 (38:02):
What we argued for a long time?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
How long?

Speaker 2 (38:07):
A long time?

Speaker 3 (38:08):
That's a long time, A long wow.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Like I'm thinking we spent at least four hours just
sitting in his room discussing why he was so against
giving me anything all four hours?

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Four hours?

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Also, why was he so alright with me buying something
for my birthday? In Valentine's but not Christmas. I would
understand if it was for religious regions, but he clearly
stated it had nothing to do without. He blamed it
on his parents, which makes the next part even more interesting. Hmmm,

(38:42):
so his mother comes into the room.

Speaker 3 (38:45):
Okay, mommy just pulled up, said what's what's up? Yes, mommy, mommy, mommy,
what's going on? Where my muscle? Mommy's yet? Flex your
flex your arms in the chat? Oh, asking us to
come into the living room. I knew they were leaving
on the twenty fourth for a small vacation, so I

(39:06):
was wondering if this was a small goodbye, or maybe
even perhaps a scold at us for yelling at each other.
The house is big, but I don't doubt that they
could hear it a little bit.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
And then I was speechless. Sitting on the effing dining
table are his parents and six rapped gifts. I look
at him like, really, you don't celebrate giving presents on
Christmas because your parents are against it?

Speaker 2 (39:31):
But they do. The parents sat us.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
Down and gave us each a gift and told us
to open it now and we'd have our own small Christmas.
Just a day before I opened it, and it was
a lovely gift. I thanked them all while staring down
my boyfriend mentally, I was a little annoyed. And then
this happens. He starts scrinning. Okay, well I'm glaring, so

(40:00):
he takes out a gift for me. What the f
is actually going on? He hands me the gift and
it's a Suavorski necklace, looking pretty expensive bend. He smiles.
The parents leave to give us some space, and I
smile back, still really effing confused. He said it was

(40:24):
hard to try and hide his gift while I was
yelling at him earlier, but all along he had made
an exception for me.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
All of it was a surprise.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
He didn't believe in present giving, but still had bought
me one anyways, just because he thought.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I deserved it. Very cute.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
So at this point he still doesn't believe in giving
anyone presents, but he did buy me one. I was
immediately really happy and I hugged him. It's a lovely necklace,
and I apologized over and over again for yelling. We
had a really nice time and head back to the
bedroom and watch TV, cuddling and having a sweet time,
and he then asked for his present. I tell him
I've opened them already and kept them for myself, so

(40:59):
I'm we need to time to buy a new one.
He suddenly becomes furious. Oh we're not We're not all
the woods yet, guys. It's it's going back. I explained,
he told me that he wasn't going to get me something,
so obviously I wasn't going to be giving him one
if I wasn't supposed to expect anything back.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Obviously, So so op is like he didn't give me
anyone anything, And now is like feeling.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
A little, you know, a little tit for tat, you know,
a little little petty revenge.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yeah, I don't know if I like that that she
that she got into.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
He gets really mad, saying that I should have kept
the present for him because in the end, he did
get me something, But how was I supposed to know that.
He begins to scream about how I'm an ungrateful cow
what and how he shouldn't spend a penny on me.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Dude, this guy's what. This guy's whack. Also, cows are
like one of the most grateful animals.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
His mother comes in, tells him to calm down and
screams at me to leave the house and he never
wants to see me again.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
I do Wow, Oh my god, that escalated. Wow.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
I do I take the necklace? Perhaps a bad move,
I explained. I will buy him a new gift, a
better one, and he's still too angry at me to understand.
He only needs a day to wait. I left and
came home really e f and confused. I tried calling
and he hasn't answered. I've been calling since I left

(42:36):
the house three hours ago. Guys, I don't know what
to do. I'm so effing confused, and today has been
one heck of a day. Any advice is appreciated. I'm
thinking of going back there tomorrow. I'm sorry if this
wasn't written in the best way. My head is all
over the place. I've also spoken to my best friends
and they're confused as heck. Thanks in advance read flog.

(42:57):
My boyfriend dumped me during a family crisis. Two years
later I found out, but he was lying about everything. Well,
so buckle up, breddits. This is a long wild riot.
Oh ex, my ex thirty mail and I twenty eight female,
had this on again, off again thing for years, but
the last five years were pretty steady. He told me
early on, like three months in, that he had attachment issues.

(43:17):
Every breakup was because things got too much for him,
but he always came crawling back, and I always took
him back. One time, I even started seeing someone else,
but he begged me to come back, swearing therapy had
helped him grow. By the way, this comes from anxious
Panglin seven four seven to one on the r slash
Okay storytime separatus. So we managed a long distance relationship

(43:40):
for five years. Before that, we lived close together for
four years. We've been together for a total of nine years.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
He'd always have excuses for not moving in together, couldn't
find housing, wanted to work abroad, his studies, you name it.
In hindsight, these were just bs excuses to avoid living
with me. The last year of our relationship was right.
I wanted to live together, but he wouldn't make any moves.
We thought about it a lot. I felt like I
was never his priority. Work, money, and studies always came first.

(44:09):
Then came the week of the breakup. It was a disaster.
My shower and washing machine broke down first and I
had to get them repaired. Then my mom called to
say that my grandma, who had been six for years,
was rushed to the hospital and wasn't expected to survive.
The night, I called my then boyfriend, completely emotional, and
he reacted so indifferently. I knew something was off now.

(44:30):
After pushing him, he finally admitted he'd been planning to
break up with.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Me that week.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
He planned to come by at the end of the
week to do it before he went to his parents
for a holiday celebration, which he obviously planned for me
not to come to. He told me this on the
phone right after I told him my grandma was passing away,
timing brother. We agreed to meet at the end of

(44:55):
the week to talk about it. The next day, my
mom called again. She and her partner had had the
so she couldn't visit her grandma. By Wednesday, my grandma
got the VID too, but was still hanging on my mom,
who doesn't drive, and her partner was too sick to drive,
so me and her, despite her cover, decided to go
one last time before she would pass away, and guess what,

(45:19):
my car breaks down, so we had to take her
partner's car just to visit my grandma. Just in time
because the next day she passed away. Oh my god,
this is like the worst week ever, opie geez. On Friday,
my ex came over and we broke up officially. I
told him I wanted no contact, by the way, I.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Mean, I feel like it's been like back and forth,
like NonStop. Yeah, I think I think going no contact
with a relationship that is kind of like this wishy
washy's a good Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
For nine years and nine years waiting for nine years,
it's tough. By the way, not once that week did
he ask me how I was doing or how my
grandma was doing. After the breakup, I spiraled. I was
on the brink of burnout. My boss sent me to
the doctor because I was falling asleep at work. Eventually
I quit because I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Take it anymore.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
I got to see a therapist and was diagnosed with
a cyst on my thyroid, not related to my tiredness.
I still don't have an official diagnosis for that.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Now.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
I'm on a fifty two week waiting list for therapy
because things are still really bad. I also developed a
rare skin disease that is healed now, but it was horrible.
My goodness, just so many things popping up. I did
find another temporary job, which I am currently doing. But
fast forward to now, I'm on vacation with some old
college friends who are also friends with my ex. They

(46:39):
told me he already has a new girlfriend and they're
living together.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
I think our boy did not follow the you know,
a month per year rule, particularly with moving in with
the girlfriend. My goodness, I practically begged him for you.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
I practically begged him for years to move in together,
but he always put it off.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Nine years. Oh pe wait.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
I feel like that's also a classic thing where it's
like someone stays in a relationship that's not working and
the person's like, oh, like you know, like that's just
not me, you know, I would never get married, and
then the next relationship they get married or something.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
God.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
He told me when we broke up that he wanted
to focus on his career and studies, and I was
in the way. My friend saw him last in February.
We broke up about a year earlier in December, so
barely a year after our breakup, he is living with
his new girlfriend, even though he refused to move in
with me after four years of begging. But here's the kicker.
His new girlfriend is French. Wee all, two months before

(47:49):
we broke up, before the relationship ended, I.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
See us in the chat. He went on a trip
to France alone because he needed to think.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
Oh is thinking about that those French ladies.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
He's thinking about that lady wantsole Okay, huge red flag.
In hindsight, I'm certain he met her there or even earlier,
as he has been to France and worked for a
French company in Africa before. I did some internet salu
thing with information from my college friend. My ex doesn't
have social media, so I couldn't get information from there,

(48:22):
and I found her. Her LinkedIn says she's a veterinarian
from the same area as he told me he had
been visiting two months before we broke up. He even
told me that he was visiting an old friend from
his time in Africa and her veterinarian friend.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
Oh oh, so this is the veterinarian friend.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
That's this dude, that's the oh no, oh no him
he told on himself. Wow, he's trying. He was trying
to like what trickle truth that you know? It's like, oh,
let me sprinkle a.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Little bit, But dude, she's away. You messed up?

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Yep, h one and one is two right. Let's see
where you're going, Opie. She doesn't have a job or
studies here or study here, which I got from my
college friends and her LinkedIn which also specifically stated that
she's looking for a job in the city that my
ex lives in. So she must have moved here for him,

(49:20):
not even a year after we broke up. Why else
would she come here? The whole situation is so unreal.
During our nine year relationship, he always told me he
had difficulties with relationships, but really loved me and wanted
to be with me, even though it scared him. Most
of the time, things were great despite the long distance.
I always joke to others that I wasn't scared he
would cheat because one girl was already too much for him.

(49:44):
So how can he now move on so quickly after
nine years and suddenly his attachment if issues are.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Gone, why waste everywhere? It's his time too?

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Like it doesn't oh man, so moving in together probably
less than a year. It's so absurd and just doesn't
sound like the man I knew and loved for nine years.
Opie says, I feel so betrayed and lied to, like
how gaslighted an egotistic it is to break up a
summon during a family crisis because you fell in love
with another girl. Good question, Opie, at it since everyone

(50:14):
seems to be hung up on the internet, Sally thing,
I looked her up one night that my college friends
told me about her, and mostly because they couldn't remember
her name. I just wanted to know if I knew her,
says my excident have social media. I went through all
of his LinkedIn connections and found her and found through
there that information and put and I put two and
two together. Now that I know who she is, that's

(50:36):
all you needed to know. And I am not stalking
her and won't be looking her up again. Hey it's
John here, og host of the show. We're going to
get back to these juicy stories. But here's a quick
three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
My boyfriend's family looks down on me, and I can't
take it anymore.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Look up.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
I am twenty seven female, and I am a nurse.
I make a good salary as a private nurse for
a firm which provides care for rich families. Sick figures
in my country, not the USA, and I'm proud of
my career. I wanted to be a doctor when I
was a teen, but it was impossible for my family
to provide me with a medical education, and at the
time I felt self hate to be a nurse. By

(51:12):
the way, this comes from Drastic Measure sixteen And if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime sub right. So, by the age
of twenty, I became a nurse, but now I love it.
This job is made possible for me to buy my
own house, car and travel outside the country. I have
a good pension plan and other savings. I can raise

(51:33):
a family on my own income. I have Slash had
a boyfriend, Rob, twenty eight male who is in to
heart specialty, and we fell in love during hospital visits.
He was the one to pursue me. He is soon
going to be a heart surgeon, nurse surgeon commos pretty
good nice. His mom has always made passive aggressive comments

(51:54):
about me being a nurse. We got engaged recently and
all of his relatives were at the family dinner party
held by Rob's parent last week. So his mom and
aunts at the dinner table joked around that the heart
surgeon like Rob can get any female doctor as his wife.
Rob took offense and said nia me is very much independent.
It makes a good salary herself to take care of

(52:15):
the whole family. But his mom went on that wasn't enough.
I have had enough. I have respect for housewives, but
this time I fired back. I said his mom and
aunts are all gold digging housewives with no life skills
outside of raising kids.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Boom got him.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
They live on their husband's money, who are rich. Some
of them started crying, some shouted, Everyone, including Rob, asked
me to apologize. I broke up with him on the
spot and said I will not sell myself and my
self respect for his family. I'd rather marry a normal

(52:57):
man than a surgeon whose family doesn't resp I left Rob,
who was begging for a chance. I know he tried
to silence his mom, but I don't see the future.
I see a lifetime of taunts, and I can't ask
him to cut off his parents, which he won't do. Anyways,
my parents are saying he is a good catch and
to ignore his mom's comments. But money isn't everything, and

(53:17):
social status is and everything I don't want to be
looked down upon, but I miss him and it is
breaking my heart. Edit more to add, he has tried
to stop their comments. Whenever I told him it bothered me,
he said, try to ignore. And whenever he tried to
argue with them, they just said and he shouldn't disrespect
his elders. Also, after marriage, we would have shifted to

(53:38):
the house next door to the family, so you would
be in close proximity with all this family. That's oh,
given kind.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
Of oh yeah, that's yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
I would never have peace in my life. And that's
what I realized. He will never cut them off, nor
will I force anyone. It's better to end it. And
we got some updates. But it seems like Reddit was
not the a hole, which I feel like I agree with.
I mean, that's a lot to deal with for him.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Yes, this is true, it's like what also, why do
we have to what was the thing?

Speaker 3 (54:14):
The reason why? Yeah, we got an update. So Rob
and I met after that event. A few days after
I made the original post. He came to my place
to discuss. My brother was there, but I sent him
to the other room before Rob came, and he didn't
know my brother was there. I just wanted to be secure.
I think like brother for protection. He cried, and I
cried too, but I told him the only way it

(54:35):
is possible for me to get with him is that
we have to shift far from his parents and have
limited contact from my side with his family and our
future kids. He said it is impossible, and his family
will be a great support system for us. He told
me he will make a huge amount of money and
I can continue part time when we have kids, as
he will pay me around my salary to spend time

(54:58):
with the kids. My independence is something i've val and
I refuse. I told him that his mother will not
raise my kids and I won't leave my job. He
got angry and our discussion became heated and in anger.
He slapped me hard and literally ripped my shirt when
he held my arm. God, I'm a five nine woman,
but a six foot muscly man made me realize how

(55:20):
weak I felt physically at that moment. I called my
brother out, and when he saw blood form my nose
and a ripped shirt, he lost it and beat rob
to a pulp so much that I had to stop him.
In the end, we called the family and the police.
Got involved, and it was decided he won't press charges
if I don't because it will ruin his career. And

(55:41):
I also wanted no trouble for my brother. But I
have a restraining order and process. The relationship is all over.
My love went to zero with that slap of his
His mother begged me not to file charges. Weel a
little bit more to the story anyways, Thanks for it
for opening my eyes. I never knew my ex was

(56:02):
like this before this incident because he never raised a
hand to me. If my brother wasn't there, I don't
know what could have happened to me. I got a
camera installed a couple of days back. Though, I will
sell this house and buy a house in my parents' neighborhood.
This is a finished chapter of my life and I
will not date someone for months. I am going to
a three week trip to Europe this summer and want
to heal my heart and soul. This is my final updates.

(56:27):
Thank you,

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My wife used to ENJOY our open marriage… until I started enjoying it too! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2249

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My wife used to ENJOY our open marriage… until I started enjoying it too! - r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP2249