September 6, 2024 • 28 mins
What lessons have you learned from your past 12 months?
How have your goals evolved over the past months?
Today, Jay reflects on the 12 key lessons he has learned over the past year. He begins by discussing the idea that the seeds we plant—our actions and intentions—manifest as either flowers or weeds, the importance of pursuing meaningful actions for personal fulfillment rather than external validation, and how to distinguish between setting goals and choosing growth, underscoring that genuine progress requires a commitment to personal development rather than simply aiming for outcomes.
The episode highlights the importance of protecting one's purpose from external distractions and maintaining a clear focus on one's path, the challenges we face as opportunities to grow into who we're meant to be, and the concept of defining experiences proactively to shape our own narratives rather than letting circumstances dictate our identities.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to handle envy with love
How to act for fulfillment, not praise
How to focus on growth, not just goals
How to guard your purpose from distractions
How to use challenges to evolve
How to stay open to unexpected help
Stay open to the unexpected, protect your passions, and choose growth over comfort. By doing so, you not only transform your own life but also inspire those around you to do the same.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:29 Lessons Learned in the Past 12 Months
03:50 #1: The seeds you planted in the past will grow into flowers or weeds today.
07:08 #2: Envy will erode your life.
10:27 #3: People forget things quickly, do the right thing and what's meaningful to you.
13:06 #4: Everyone sets goals, not everyone chooses growth.
15:00 #5: Don't let anyone deter you from your purpose.
16:45 #6: Your challenge is designed for you to become who you're meant to become.
18:37 #7: You'll let things define you if you don't define them first.
19:35 #8: Help can come from unlikely sources in unlikely ways.
21:34 #9: Try to see things as an invitation, not an impediment.
24:07 #10: Sometimes to get to your dreams, you have to take the stairs, the elevator, or come through the roof.
25:17 #11: The people you leave behind will feel left behind no matter what you do.
26:35 #12 Love is not enough.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Let's be honest. Life is stressful, its work, its relationships
and the state of the world. But there's a way
to bring that stress level down. Calm. It's the number
one app for mental wellness with tons of content to
manage anxiety, promote concentration, and help you unwind. There's music, meditation,
a more Calm makes it easy to de stress. You
(00:23):
can literally do a one minute breathing exercise. Personally, I
love the soundscapes. Nothing like a little rain on leaves
to help soothe my nervous system. I've actually been working
with Calm for a couple of years now, and I'd
love for you to check out my series on reducing
overwhelm eight short practices quick relief. Right now, listeners of
(00:44):
On Purpose get forty percent off a subscription to Calm
Premium at Calm dot com. Forward slash j that's c
LM dot com Forward slash jay for forty percent off.
Calm your mind, change your life. Remember the seeds you
planted in the past will grow into flowers or weeds today.
(01:06):
Not everything is about what you did in the last
thirty days. We think of things as quite short term.
We think of things as quite instant and right now.
A lot of what we're experiencing is from a long
time ago. The number one health and wellness podcast sid
Jay Sheidjou. Hey, everyone, welcome back to a very special
(01:31):
episode of On Purpose. Today is my birthday, and so
I wanted to do a very special reflection birthday episode
where I get super deep, super vulnerable and open up
to you about the lessons I've learned, insights I've gained,
purification I've had to go through, and challenges I've overcome
(01:55):
in the last twelve months. Now, I'm really excited to
dive into this episod, but before I do that, I
want to thank each and every one of you for
choosing On Purpose this year. It has made a huge
difference to our community, It's made a huge difference to me,
and I hope that you will subscribe, leave a review,
and share this episode with a friend. I am so
(02:18):
grateful for your ongoing support and I couldn't do this
without you. Now, as I sat down to think about
this episode and introspect, I realized that there were twelve
key lessons that I've learned in the last twelve months,
and I think it's important. I challenged myself to think
(02:42):
of twelve lessons because I believe that every month has
something for me to learn. Every month of the year
has something for me to have to encapsulate into a
line of wisdom, a quote, a thought, a reflection that
I can carry on into the next. The reason why
(03:04):
we make the same mistakes again and again is because
we don't learn the lesson we need to learn again
and again. We miss the signs, we miss the opportunity,
we miss the chance to learn and grow, and so
we fall fail and make the same mistake again. The
(03:25):
reason why I do this episode, and I recommend you
do it around your birthday as well, is because it
gives you the opportunity to make sure that you're carrying
the wisdom of your last year into the next. And
for those of you who are wondering, yes, I'm a
virgo in case you hadn't forget it out just yet,
(03:46):
and I'm just so happy that I get to share
these lessons with you. Here's lesson number one. The seeds
you planted in the past will grow into flowers or
weeds today. What you experience is what you planted a
long time ago. This is how karma works. Don't be
(04:09):
mad at what grows focus on planting good seeds. How
many times have you had it when something happens and
you're thinking to yourself, I've been doing everything right, I've
been doing good, I've been working hard, I've been acting appropriately,
I've been really focused on service and making a difference,
And all of a sudden, some surprise comes in your way,
(04:31):
something that you weren't expecting, something that feels like you
don't deserve it, and you probably don't. But what you
realize when you recognize the power of karma, is that
there was a weed you planted years ago, and today
that weed has grown and is now affecting your life.
(04:54):
And sometimes the most beautiful things happen to us. We
meet someone amazing, we get an amazing opportunity in our careers,
someone spots our talent, something phenomenal happens for us, and again,
we didn't do anything different. Now, it was a seed
that we planted many months, many years ago. So our
(05:17):
life is like a garden, and the seeds and weeds
that we planted months and years ago are growing today
into either flowers or weeds, and then we're experiencing either
the beautiful scent of that flower or we're experiencing the
tightness of that weed around us in that moment. It's
(05:42):
so easy to get bitter in that moment, it's so
easy to be angry, and all of those feelings are valid,
they're okay. But the behavior we want to see is
the acceptance. The Vaders talk about this idea of one
who can accept something as a reaction of their karmas
(06:03):
of a seed that they planted a long time ago.
To that person, they experienced liberation and peace. It's the
acceptance that maybe there's somewhere in my journey that I
acted in a certain way. Maybe there's some conversation that
I said something. Maybe there was one period where I
did something, and now there's a reaction to that action
(06:25):
that I took. And instead of focusing on that, I'm
going to start planting even better seeds, and I'm going
to uproot this weed by figuring out how it was
planted in the first place. If you've ever tracked a
weed through a garden, you start pulling it out and
you can actually follow it and trace it to its
(06:48):
root place. Remember, the seeds you planted in the past
will grow into flowers or weeds today. Not everything is
about what you did in the last thirty days. We
think of things as quite we think of things as
quite instant and right now. A lot of what we're
experiencing is from a long time ago. Lesson number two.
(07:10):
For some people in your life, envy is uncontrollable compared
to their character. Make sure yours is the other way around.
Envy will erode your life. It's a really interesting characteristic
envy because it's that feeling of I wish I had
(07:32):
that I deserve that they don't deserve, that they don't
They shouldn't get that. Why did that happen to them?
Why not me? And by the way we all go
through this, I don't want you to sit there and
shame yourself or make yourself feel guilty, or make yourself
feel bad for this. We all experience envy in different ways,
(07:52):
no matter how successful or how at the beginning of
your journey you are. It's something that everyone experiences. Two
of the questions I ask my clients when I'm first
meeting them, the first is who do you envy? I
always ask that because to me, it shows so much
about what a person values. It shows so much about
(08:13):
what they think is good, what they think is better
than what they have, their level of gratitude, their level
of character. And the second question I ask is who
or what is your God? What do you idolize? What
do you obsess over? And it's not just what we
think in our minds, it's what we show by our actions.
(08:33):
What I found is that for most of us, we're
able to calm our envy. We're able to not act
on it. We're able to coach ourselves talk ourselves out
of acting on that feeling and emotion. But for some
people it's uncontrollable. Their envy has reached such a height
(08:55):
that they are prepared to do anything in order to
express their envy. Now, if you're on the receiving end
of this, it can be really difficult and challenging. It
can be really hard to go through that. And if
you have been, I know some of you have said
to me in the comments before jay I had a
friend of mine tell me that they were envious of me,
and I struggle to be friends with them. Now, some
(09:15):
people are bold enough to admit it to you, and
some of you know, some of you know that there's
someone in your life who's envious of your relationship. Someone
who's envious of your promotion, someone who's envious of your
recent vacation, envious of your wedding, and it can be
a really uncomfortable feeling. What we have to recognize is
that we don't want to meet envy with bitterness. We
(09:37):
want to meet it with love. We want to meet
it with a recognition that envy is eroding that person's life,
and we don't want to partake in increasing our envy
or increasing our ego. If we take joy or satisfaction
in the fact that someone envies us, our ego grows,
(10:00):
and if we get really uncomfortable, then our bitterness grows. Instead,
we meet you with love. We remind ourselves, I'm really
grateful for what I have, I'm really fortunate for what
I have. I'm really thankful and blessed for what i have.
Please never let me be envious of others, and please
let me not be the cause of envy for others.
Let them be purified just as I wish to be purified.
(10:22):
Let me also move towards love in this moment. Lesson
number three. People forget things quick, do the right thing
and what's meaningful to you. Sometimes when you're doing good things,
I'm sure you felt this before. You're hoping that your friends,
your family, they celebrate it. You're hoping that the people
(10:43):
around you recognize it, that they notice it, that they're
able to partake in your achievements, and where you've got
to People forget things quick. You may have done the
most amazing thing and someone will forget in the next
twenty four hours. People forget in the next seven days.
I often think about the great music artists of the
last ten, twenty, thirty, forty fifty, sixty seventy years and
(11:06):
how quickly people are forgotten. People forget things quick, both
good and bad. Do the right thing and what's meaningful,
what's truly meaningful, and do it for that reason. Sometimes
it's the opposite. Sometimes we're dealing with negativity. We're dealing
with other people's judgments, we're dealing with other people's assumptions,
(11:29):
and it doesn't feel great, and we just wish that
they could see the truth. But guess what. People forget
things quick. Do the right thing and what's truly meaningful,
and do it for that reason. I've often found that
that's the test. If you're doing good things for validation,
or if you're dealing with negativity, hoping to change people's perception.
(11:53):
Then you can fail on both accounts because you may
never ever shift what someone thinks of you. You can't
change what someone thinks of you. You can't change how
much someone thinks about you. You can't change their perception
of who you are. All you can do is do
the right thing and what's truly meaningful. And when you
(12:17):
do it, because it's the right thing, and because it's meaningful,
you get to feel that validation yourself. You get to
experience it deep within your heart. People forget things quick.
Stop giving them so much importance. People will forget the
best thing you did in a moment. People will forget
the biggest thing you did in a moment. People will
(12:39):
forget the most amazing thing you did in a moment.
And if you're hoping that they'll validate you, they'll recognize you,
they'll believe in you. Because of it, you'll always be
running out and you'll always have to keep filling up.
People forget things quick. Don't place your value in how
much they value what you're doing, because if you do,
(13:03):
you'll always feel devalued. Lesson number four, everyone sets goals,
not everyone chooses growth. I've realized as I've been coaching people,
as I've seen people grow and seen people achieve their dreams.
I've had the fortune of seeing some amazing comebacks to industries,
(13:24):
have seen some amazing moments of brilliance of people in
their field. And I've noticed that the people who do
get to where they want are not the people who
have goals. They're the people who choose growth. See a
lot of people have goals. We know that the studies
show that eighty percent of people don't meet their New
(13:45):
Year's resolutions. Setting a goal doesn't make you amazing. Setting
a goal doesn't ensure anything. It's those who choose growth
that experience the success of a goal. And I've seen
over the last twelve months people that have mentored, people
that have coached that those who chose the discomfort, those
(14:05):
who chose the uncomfortable path, those who chose growth achieve
their goals. So I'm always asking myself, not what's my goal,
but what's required of me from the perspective of growth?
What growth have I not yet made? Which is why
my goal feels so far away. Your goal will feel
(14:28):
further and further away until your growth is constantly expanding. Right,
your goals will feel closer when your growth grows faster.
So I'm always asking myself, the thing that's blocking me
from my goal is my growth. So let me figure
(14:51):
out how I need to grow. What skill is it,
What habit is it? What mindset is it that I
don't yet have that is holding me back? This one
has been a big lesson for me of late. Don't
let anyone deter you from your purpose. There's a beautiful
verse in the Vedic literatures that says, when you protect
(15:14):
your purpose, your purpose protects you. And I love this
statement because we often think of our purpose as something
we have to find. We think of our purpose as
something we have to build. We think of purpose as
something we have to create. Our purpose is something we
have to protect. You already have it, you know it,
(15:35):
but you've been veering away from it because of other
people's expectations, other people's judgment, other people's criticism, other people's negativity.
And you've gone so far away from it that you
feel like you have to find it again. But you
don't have to find it again. It's already there. It exists,
and we have to learn to protect it. So I
(15:55):
want to ask you, what is something that you haven't
protected for a while. What is a part of you
that you haven't protected, that you haven't shielded, that you
haven't created boundaries around Because when you protect your purpose,
your purpose protects you. I found that everything in life
is trying to get you to stop living your purpose
(16:17):
because it's the only way the game wins. It's the
only way the material world wins is by distracting you
from your purpose. The material world wins when it takes
you away from that which you were meant to do,
that which you're born to do, that which you are
made for. And for so many of us, I find
(16:38):
that it's okay to get distracted, but we have to
find our way back, find our way back to protect it.
Less number six. Your challenge is designed for you to
become who you're meant to become. Don't ask how do
I get over this or through this? Ask who is
this asking me to become? And why am I avoiding
(16:59):
the co Whenever you meet a challenge, when you're ready,
after you've experienced the emotions, experience the pain, experience the stress,
ask yourself, who is this asking me to become? Who
is this calling me to be become And whenever I
avoided this in the past, chances are we only get
a really strong alarm sound when we've resisted the call before. Right,
(17:22):
your alarm gets louder and louder and louder and louder
in the morning when you ignore it. What's the call
you've been ignoring that just got loud? Who are you
being asked to rise to become? Who are you being
asked and challenged to become? Who are you required to become?
And why are you avoiding the call? Whatever challenge you're
(17:45):
going through, know that you are designed for it, and
it is designed for you. And when you approach it
in that way, you get the strength that you need
because you recognize you're built for this. You're made for this,
You're designed for this, You're created for this. The resistance
(18:05):
makes us feel weak. This is not for me. I'm
not for it. I can't do this. It's not possible.
It makes you weak. In the fight. You can strengthen
in the fight. You can build in the fight, you
can grow in the fight. I've seen my friends this
year fight some incredible things, truly fight some incredible things,
really difficult, challenging, moments. And it's because they chose to
(18:26):
become what that situation was asking them to be, not
who they wanted to be, not what they wanted in
the moment, but what was required of them in that moment.
And that leads nicely on to lesson number seven. You
will let things define you if you don't define them first.
So we let things define us when we just go
(18:47):
with the flow and we think, Okay, that happened to me,
it defined me. No, let me define it. Let me
decide and define how I want this to change my life.
Let me decide and define, fine, how I want to
speak about this. And this is a really important point.
I think a lot of us don't use these as
(19:08):
opportunities to expand our emotional vocabulary, to expand how we
perceive this moment. How can you learn to define and
make a decision about how you're going to let something
affect you? Right? I can either use a life changing
moment to actually change my life or to continue living
(19:31):
life the same way after a few days. It's my choice,
it's your choice. Less number eight. Help can come from
unlikely sources in unlikely ways. This year I had a
lot of random sources of help. And one thing I've
really learned is to remember that in between us now.
(19:52):
The in between Ers was a TV show in the UK.
Maybe it wise to maybe you didn't. It was about
a bunch of awkward people at high school. But to me,
the in betweeners are the people that introduce you to
someone that you're now best friends with. The in betweeners
are the people who helped you get that job even
though it didn't benefit them. The in betweeners are the
(20:13):
person that maybe even introduce you to the love of
your life and you're no longer friends with them. Who's
an in between er in your life? Help can come
from unlikely sources and unlikely ways. And I promise you
have someone important in your life today, or something important
in your life today, and you have it because of
(20:33):
an in between us. Someone you've forgotten about, someone you
no longer know or stay in touch with it, or
someone that you don't ever really show that gratitude to.
This is a reminder to express your gratitude to the
person you forgot about, to the person who introduced you
to an amazing friend, to the person who helped you
(20:53):
with your last job, to the person who maybe introduced
you to the love of your life. But somewhere along
the way you fell out. You forgot about them, they
forgot about you. You disconnected. But that in between he
is one of the most important people you'll ever meet.
And help can come from those in between us. Sometimes
when we least expect it, help can come from unlikely
(21:15):
sources in unlikely ways. We have to be receptive to it.
Sometimes we go to the same sources for help. We
have to be open to the fact that there are
other people out there with wisdom, with insight, with so
many things that can help us if we simply open
ourselves up to it less Number nine. Try to see
(21:37):
things as an invitation, not an impediment. I was speaking
of my friend Aloak who actually said this to me.
How can every impediment be seen as an invitation? What
does that mean? An invitation is letting you in. An
impediment often feels like it's keeping you out right. We
(22:01):
often think as blocks, as rejections, keeping us out. We
didn't make it in so an invitation. When you look
at it as an invitation, what is it inviting you into?
May not be inviting you into the room you want
to be in. It may not be inviting you into
the career you want to be in. It may not
be inviting you into the relationship you want to be in.
What is it inviting you to reading between the lines?
(22:23):
What is this impediment inviting me to be a part of?
It may not be inviting me to be a part
of the thing I want to be a part of.
But there is something else. I've seen this over the
years in my work in life. I remember when I
first came to LA, I had been reached out to
by a production company this is seven years ago that
wanted to make a TV show with me, and I'd
(22:44):
come to LA and we pitched this TV show which
I thought was pretty cool, and no one wanted it,
and everyone got reject ive, got regientted over town. But
I became really good friends with a lot of people.
I met people at streamers and production companies, and it
was really to me because I realized that because I
didn't get the opportunity to do the TV show I wanted,
(23:07):
I had time and energy to build the podcast that
I really wanted to do. I had time and energy
to create content that I really believed in. I had
time and energy to write the books I cared about.
And it's funny because I think, if seven years ago
I was given that show, maybe I would never have
done all of this. And today I'm so grateful because
it was an invitation to say, be independent, be entrepreneurial,
(23:28):
be creative. And I think about all this amazing stuff
I've been able to do, and the connection I've been
able to build up with you was because of an impediment.
It was because something didn't work out. Most things that
work out are because other things didn't work out. Most
things are created because other things were blocked. Think about
(23:52):
in your life where you're chasing the same thing and
waiting for permission, when actually you can let go of
the desire for permission and focus on making progress in
the things that you see as potential less than number ten.
Sometimes to get to your dreams, you have to take
(24:13):
the stairs. Sometimes you get to take the elevator, and
sometimes you have to come through the roof Mission impossible style, right,
And I think a lot of us want the elevator.
We might take the stairs, and we don't really want
to have to jump through the roof. In that scenario,
I want you to ask yourself, have you been waiting
for that elevator for too long? Have you been waiting
(24:36):
on that floor for that elevator to stop for way
too long? And he keeps missing it, You keep missing it.
How many of you have been resistant to take the
stairs because of the climb, the steep climb. But now
it's the time to go through that fire exit and
take the stairs, even though it's twenty four floors that
(24:56):
you've got to climb. And how many of you realize
that now it's time to just go through the roof right,
to really take that leap, take that risk. And so
I want you to ask yourself, what have you been resisting?
Have you been weighing for too long? Have you not
been weighing long enough? It's been a big lesson for
me this year. Lesson number eleven. The people you leave
(25:20):
behind will feel left behind no matter what you do.
You can try to please them, you can try to
make them feel included, you can try to make them
feel involved in everything you're doing. But if they want
to feel left behind, they will find a reason to
feel left behind, and there's nothing you can do about it.
(25:43):
You have to accept it and move on. I've had
the fortune of seeing people stay connected with me even
when I was hard to connect with. And I've seen
others that have tried to stay connected with who've disconnected
despite my efforts. People, you leave behind and will feel
left behind no matter what you do. You can't stop
(26:03):
growing because of that. You can't stop going because of that.
But the thing you promise to yourself you won't do
is be bitter towards them, Be upset towards them, be
disappointed by them, because what that does is it pollutes
your journey. It pollutes your path, It pollutes the purity
of your intention, the purity of your purpose. When you
(26:26):
fall prey to the idea that they should have come,
they must do what I wish they would do. Unless
the number twelve love is not enough, build squills, qualities,
and characteristics. Don't over rely on love. I've seen this
(26:46):
the people I've worked with. People have mentored love will
get you only so far. Because people's capacity to love
is limited by their capacity for eight. People's capacity for
love is limited by their capacity for a lack of trust.
(27:08):
We are only love, We're made of love. But because
we've increased our capacity to be all these other things,
we have decreased our capacity for love. And therefore the skills,
the mindsets, the habits make up for what we lack
in love, only to ultimately lead to love. I want
to thank you for listening to my special birthday episode.
(27:30):
I hope these lessons gave you something to think about,
something to reflect upon. I hope you will continue to
be a part of this community and share the messages
you're learning here. I look forward to reconnecting with you soon.
Don't miss out on episodes new ones every Monday and Friday.
We've got like five hundred episodes for you to catch
up on. If you're new here. Thanks for listening. Remember
(27:52):
I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If
you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant
on why discomfort is the key to growth and the
strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you
want to be more and achieve more this year, go
(28:12):
check it out right now. You set a goal today,
you achieve it in six months, and then by the
time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense
of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it and
you would have been disappointed if it didn't happen
Let's be honest. Life is stressful, its work, its relationships
and the state of the world. But there's a way
to bring that stress level down. Calm. It's the number
one app for mental wellness with tons of content to
manage anxiety, promote concentration, and help you unwind. There's music, meditation,
a more Calm makes it easy to de stress. You
(00:23):
can literally do a one minute breathing exercise. Personally, I
love the soundscapes. Nothing like a little rain on leaves
to help soothe my nervous system. I've actually been working
with Calm for a couple of years now, and I'd
love for you to check out my series on reducing
overwhelm eight short practices quick relief. Right now, listeners of
(00:44):
On Purpose get forty percent off a subscription to Calm
Premium at Calm dot com. Forward slash j that's c
LM dot com Forward slash jay for forty percent off.
Calm your mind, change your life. Remember the seeds you
planted in the past will grow into flowers or weeds today.
(01:06):
Not everything is about what you did in the last
thirty days. We think of things as quite short term.
We think of things as quite instant and right now.
A lot of what we're experiencing is from a long
time ago. The number one health and wellness podcast sid
Jay Sheidjou. Hey, everyone, welcome back to a very special
(01:31):
episode of On Purpose. Today is my birthday, and so
I wanted to do a very special reflection birthday episode
where I get super deep, super vulnerable and open up
to you about the lessons I've learned, insights I've gained,
purification I've had to go through, and challenges I've overcome
(01:55):
in the last twelve months. Now, I'm really excited to
dive into this episod, but before I do that, I
want to thank each and every one of you for
choosing On Purpose this year. It has made a huge
difference to our community, It's made a huge difference to me,
and I hope that you will subscribe, leave a review,
and share this episode with a friend. I am so
(02:18):
grateful for your ongoing support and I couldn't do this
without you. Now, as I sat down to think about
this episode and introspect, I realized that there were twelve
key lessons that I've learned in the last twelve months,
and I think it's important. I challenged myself to think
(02:42):
of twelve lessons because I believe that every month has
something for me to learn. Every month of the year
has something for me to have to encapsulate into a
line of wisdom, a quote, a thought, a reflection that
I can carry on into the next. The reason why
(03:04):
we make the same mistakes again and again is because
we don't learn the lesson we need to learn again
and again. We miss the signs, we miss the opportunity,
we miss the chance to learn and grow, and so
we fall fail and make the same mistake again. The
(03:25):
reason why I do this episode, and I recommend you
do it around your birthday as well, is because it
gives you the opportunity to make sure that you're carrying
the wisdom of your last year into the next. And
for those of you who are wondering, yes, I'm a
virgo in case you hadn't forget it out just yet,
(03:46):
and I'm just so happy that I get to share
these lessons with you. Here's lesson number one. The seeds
you planted in the past will grow into flowers or
weeds today. What you experience is what you planted a
long time ago. This is how karma works. Don't be
(04:09):
mad at what grows focus on planting good seeds. How
many times have you had it when something happens and
you're thinking to yourself, I've been doing everything right, I've
been doing good, I've been working hard, I've been acting appropriately,
I've been really focused on service and making a difference,
And all of a sudden, some surprise comes in your way,
(04:31):
something that you weren't expecting, something that feels like you
don't deserve it, and you probably don't. But what you
realize when you recognize the power of karma, is that
there was a weed you planted years ago, and today
that weed has grown and is now affecting your life.
(04:54):
And sometimes the most beautiful things happen to us. We
meet someone amazing, we get an amazing opportunity in our careers,
someone spots our talent, something phenomenal happens for us, and again,
we didn't do anything different. Now, it was a seed
that we planted many months, many years ago. So our
(05:17):
life is like a garden, and the seeds and weeds
that we planted months and years ago are growing today
into either flowers or weeds, and then we're experiencing either
the beautiful scent of that flower or we're experiencing the
tightness of that weed around us in that moment. It's
(05:42):
so easy to get bitter in that moment, it's so
easy to be angry, and all of those feelings are valid,
they're okay. But the behavior we want to see is
the acceptance. The Vaders talk about this idea of one
who can accept something as a reaction of their karmas
(06:03):
of a seed that they planted a long time ago.
To that person, they experienced liberation and peace. It's the
acceptance that maybe there's somewhere in my journey that I
acted in a certain way. Maybe there's some conversation that
I said something. Maybe there was one period where I
did something, and now there's a reaction to that action
(06:25):
that I took. And instead of focusing on that, I'm
going to start planting even better seeds, and I'm going
to uproot this weed by figuring out how it was
planted in the first place. If you've ever tracked a
weed through a garden, you start pulling it out and
you can actually follow it and trace it to its
(06:48):
root place. Remember, the seeds you planted in the past
will grow into flowers or weeds today. Not everything is
about what you did in the last thirty days. We
think of things as quite we think of things as
quite instant and right now. A lot of what we're
experiencing is from a long time ago. Lesson number two.
(07:10):
For some people in your life, envy is uncontrollable compared
to their character. Make sure yours is the other way around.
Envy will erode your life. It's a really interesting characteristic
envy because it's that feeling of I wish I had
(07:32):
that I deserve that they don't deserve, that they don't
They shouldn't get that. Why did that happen to them?
Why not me? And by the way we all go
through this, I don't want you to sit there and
shame yourself or make yourself feel guilty, or make yourself
feel bad for this. We all experience envy in different ways,
(07:52):
no matter how successful or how at the beginning of
your journey you are. It's something that everyone experiences. Two
of the questions I ask my clients when I'm first
meeting them, the first is who do you envy? I
always ask that because to me, it shows so much
about what a person values. It shows so much about
(08:13):
what they think is good, what they think is better
than what they have, their level of gratitude, their level
of character. And the second question I ask is who
or what is your God? What do you idolize? What
do you obsess over? And it's not just what we
think in our minds, it's what we show by our actions.
(08:33):
What I found is that for most of us, we're
able to calm our envy. We're able to not act
on it. We're able to coach ourselves talk ourselves out
of acting on that feeling and emotion. But for some
people it's uncontrollable. Their envy has reached such a height
(08:55):
that they are prepared to do anything in order to
express their envy. Now, if you're on the receiving end
of this, it can be really difficult and challenging. It
can be really hard to go through that. And if
you have been, I know some of you have said
to me in the comments before jay I had a
friend of mine tell me that they were envious of me,
and I struggle to be friends with them. Now, some
(09:15):
people are bold enough to admit it to you, and
some of you know, some of you know that there's
someone in your life who's envious of your relationship. Someone
who's envious of your promotion, someone who's envious of your
recent vacation, envious of your wedding, and it can be
a really uncomfortable feeling. What we have to recognize is
that we don't want to meet envy with bitterness. We
(09:37):
want to meet it with love. We want to meet
it with a recognition that envy is eroding that person's life,
and we don't want to partake in increasing our envy
or increasing our ego. If we take joy or satisfaction
in the fact that someone envies us, our ego grows,
(10:00):
and if we get really uncomfortable, then our bitterness grows. Instead,
we meet you with love. We remind ourselves, I'm really
grateful for what I have, I'm really fortunate for what
I have. I'm really thankful and blessed for what i have.
Please never let me be envious of others, and please
let me not be the cause of envy for others.
Let them be purified just as I wish to be purified.
(10:22):
Let me also move towards love in this moment. Lesson
number three. People forget things quick, do the right thing
and what's meaningful to you. Sometimes when you're doing good things,
I'm sure you felt this before. You're hoping that your friends,
your family, they celebrate it. You're hoping that the people
(10:43):
around you recognize it, that they notice it, that they're
able to partake in your achievements, and where you've got
to People forget things quick. You may have done the
most amazing thing and someone will forget in the next
twenty four hours. People forget in the next seven days.
I often think about the great music artists of the
last ten, twenty, thirty, forty fifty, sixty seventy years and
(11:06):
how quickly people are forgotten. People forget things quick, both
good and bad. Do the right thing and what's meaningful,
what's truly meaningful, and do it for that reason. Sometimes
it's the opposite. Sometimes we're dealing with negativity. We're dealing
with other people's judgments, we're dealing with other people's assumptions,
(11:29):
and it doesn't feel great, and we just wish that
they could see the truth. But guess what. People forget
things quick. Do the right thing and what's truly meaningful,
and do it for that reason. I've often found that
that's the test. If you're doing good things for validation,
or if you're dealing with negativity, hoping to change people's perception.
(11:53):
Then you can fail on both accounts because you may
never ever shift what someone thinks of you. You can't
change what someone thinks of you. You can't change how
much someone thinks about you. You can't change their perception
of who you are. All you can do is do
the right thing and what's truly meaningful. And when you
(12:17):
do it, because it's the right thing, and because it's meaningful,
you get to feel that validation yourself. You get to
experience it deep within your heart. People forget things quick.
Stop giving them so much importance. People will forget the
best thing you did in a moment. People will forget
the biggest thing you did in a moment. People will
(12:39):
forget the most amazing thing you did in a moment.
And if you're hoping that they'll validate you, they'll recognize you,
they'll believe in you. Because of it, you'll always be
running out and you'll always have to keep filling up.
People forget things quick. Don't place your value in how
much they value what you're doing, because if you do,
(13:03):
you'll always feel devalued. Lesson number four, everyone sets goals,
not everyone chooses growth. I've realized as I've been coaching people,
as I've seen people grow and seen people achieve their dreams.
I've had the fortune of seeing some amazing comebacks to industries,
(13:24):
have seen some amazing moments of brilliance of people in
their field. And I've noticed that the people who do
get to where they want are not the people who
have goals. They're the people who choose growth. See a
lot of people have goals. We know that the studies
show that eighty percent of people don't meet their New
(13:45):
Year's resolutions. Setting a goal doesn't make you amazing. Setting
a goal doesn't ensure anything. It's those who choose growth
that experience the success of a goal. And I've seen
over the last twelve months people that have mentored, people
that have coached that those who chose the discomfort, those
(14:05):
who chose the uncomfortable path, those who chose growth achieve
their goals. So I'm always asking myself, not what's my goal,
but what's required of me from the perspective of growth?
What growth have I not yet made? Which is why
my goal feels so far away. Your goal will feel
(14:28):
further and further away until your growth is constantly expanding. Right,
your goals will feel closer when your growth grows faster.
So I'm always asking myself, the thing that's blocking me
from my goal is my growth. So let me figure
(14:51):
out how I need to grow. What skill is it,
What habit is it? What mindset is it that I
don't yet have that is holding me back? This one
has been a big lesson for me of late. Don't
let anyone deter you from your purpose. There's a beautiful
verse in the Vedic literatures that says, when you protect
(15:14):
your purpose, your purpose protects you. And I love this
statement because we often think of our purpose as something
we have to find. We think of our purpose as
something we have to build. We think of purpose as
something we have to create. Our purpose is something we
have to protect. You already have it, you know it,
(15:35):
but you've been veering away from it because of other
people's expectations, other people's judgment, other people's criticism, other people's negativity.
And you've gone so far away from it that you
feel like you have to find it again. But you
don't have to find it again. It's already there. It exists,
and we have to learn to protect it. So I
(15:55):
want to ask you, what is something that you haven't
protected for a while. What is a part of you
that you haven't protected, that you haven't shielded, that you
haven't created boundaries around Because when you protect your purpose,
your purpose protects you. I found that everything in life
is trying to get you to stop living your purpose
(16:17):
because it's the only way the game wins. It's the
only way the material world wins is by distracting you
from your purpose. The material world wins when it takes
you away from that which you were meant to do,
that which you're born to do, that which you are
made for. And for so many of us, I find
(16:38):
that it's okay to get distracted, but we have to
find our way back, find our way back to protect it.
Less number six. Your challenge is designed for you to
become who you're meant to become. Don't ask how do
I get over this or through this? Ask who is
this asking me to become? And why am I avoiding
(16:59):
the co Whenever you meet a challenge, when you're ready,
after you've experienced the emotions, experience the pain, experience the stress,
ask yourself, who is this asking me to become? Who
is this calling me to be become And whenever I
avoided this in the past, chances are we only get
a really strong alarm sound when we've resisted the call before. Right,
(17:22):
your alarm gets louder and louder and louder and louder
in the morning when you ignore it. What's the call
you've been ignoring that just got loud? Who are you
being asked to rise to become? Who are you being
asked and challenged to become? Who are you required to become?
And why are you avoiding the call? Whatever challenge you're
(17:45):
going through, know that you are designed for it, and
it is designed for you. And when you approach it
in that way, you get the strength that you need
because you recognize you're built for this. You're made for this,
You're designed for this, You're created for this. The resistance
(18:05):
makes us feel weak. This is not for me. I'm
not for it. I can't do this. It's not possible.
It makes you weak. In the fight. You can strengthen
in the fight. You can build in the fight, you
can grow in the fight. I've seen my friends this
year fight some incredible things, truly fight some incredible things,
really difficult, challenging, moments. And it's because they chose to
(18:26):
become what that situation was asking them to be, not
who they wanted to be, not what they wanted in
the moment, but what was required of them in that moment.
And that leads nicely on to lesson number seven. You
will let things define you if you don't define them first.
So we let things define us when we just go
(18:47):
with the flow and we think, Okay, that happened to me,
it defined me. No, let me define it. Let me
decide and define how I want this to change my life.
Let me decide and define, fine, how I want to
speak about this. And this is a really important point.
I think a lot of us don't use these as
(19:08):
opportunities to expand our emotional vocabulary, to expand how we
perceive this moment. How can you learn to define and
make a decision about how you're going to let something
affect you? Right? I can either use a life changing
moment to actually change my life or to continue living
(19:31):
life the same way after a few days. It's my choice,
it's your choice. Less number eight. Help can come from
unlikely sources in unlikely ways. This year I had a
lot of random sources of help. And one thing I've
really learned is to remember that in between us now.
(19:52):
The in between Ers was a TV show in the UK.
Maybe it wise to maybe you didn't. It was about
a bunch of awkward people at high school. But to me,
the in betweeners are the people that introduce you to
someone that you're now best friends with. The in betweeners
are the people who helped you get that job even
though it didn't benefit them. The in betweeners are the
(20:13):
person that maybe even introduce you to the love of
your life and you're no longer friends with them. Who's
an in between er in your life? Help can come
from unlikely sources and unlikely ways. And I promise you
have someone important in your life today, or something important
in your life today, and you have it because of
(20:33):
an in between us. Someone you've forgotten about, someone you
no longer know or stay in touch with it, or
someone that you don't ever really show that gratitude to.
This is a reminder to express your gratitude to the
person you forgot about, to the person who introduced you
to an amazing friend, to the person who helped you
(20:53):
with your last job, to the person who maybe introduced
you to the love of your life. But somewhere along
the way you fell out. You forgot about them, they
forgot about you. You disconnected. But that in between he
is one of the most important people you'll ever meet.
And help can come from those in between us. Sometimes
when we least expect it, help can come from unlikely
(21:15):
sources in unlikely ways. We have to be receptive to it.
Sometimes we go to the same sources for help. We
have to be open to the fact that there are
other people out there with wisdom, with insight, with so
many things that can help us if we simply open
ourselves up to it less Number nine. Try to see
(21:37):
things as an invitation, not an impediment. I was speaking
of my friend Aloak who actually said this to me.
How can every impediment be seen as an invitation? What
does that mean? An invitation is letting you in. An
impediment often feels like it's keeping you out right. We
(22:01):
often think as blocks, as rejections, keeping us out. We
didn't make it in so an invitation. When you look
at it as an invitation, what is it inviting you into?
May not be inviting you into the room you want
to be in. It may not be inviting you into
the career you want to be in. It may not
be inviting you into the relationship you want to be in.
What is it inviting you to reading between the lines?
(22:23):
What is this impediment inviting me to be a part of?
It may not be inviting me to be a part
of the thing I want to be a part of.
But there is something else. I've seen this over the
years in my work in life. I remember when I
first came to LA, I had been reached out to
by a production company this is seven years ago that
wanted to make a TV show with me, and I'd
(22:44):
come to LA and we pitched this TV show which
I thought was pretty cool, and no one wanted it,
and everyone got reject ive, got regientted over town. But
I became really good friends with a lot of people.
I met people at streamers and production companies, and it
was really to me because I realized that because I
didn't get the opportunity to do the TV show I wanted,
(23:07):
I had time and energy to build the podcast that
I really wanted to do. I had time and energy
to create content that I really believed in. I had
time and energy to write the books I cared about.
And it's funny because I think, if seven years ago
I was given that show, maybe I would never have
done all of this. And today I'm so grateful because
it was an invitation to say, be independent, be entrepreneurial,
(23:28):
be creative. And I think about all this amazing stuff
I've been able to do, and the connection I've been
able to build up with you was because of an impediment.
It was because something didn't work out. Most things that
work out are because other things didn't work out. Most
things are created because other things were blocked. Think about
(23:52):
in your life where you're chasing the same thing and
waiting for permission, when actually you can let go of
the desire for permission and focus on making progress in
the things that you see as potential less than number ten.
Sometimes to get to your dreams, you have to take
(24:13):
the stairs. Sometimes you get to take the elevator, and
sometimes you have to come through the roof Mission impossible style, right,
And I think a lot of us want the elevator.
We might take the stairs, and we don't really want
to have to jump through the roof. In that scenario,
I want you to ask yourself, have you been waiting
for that elevator for too long? Have you been waiting
(24:36):
on that floor for that elevator to stop for way
too long? And he keeps missing it, You keep missing it.
How many of you have been resistant to take the
stairs because of the climb, the steep climb. But now
it's the time to go through that fire exit and
take the stairs, even though it's twenty four floors that
(24:56):
you've got to climb. And how many of you realize
that now it's time to just go through the roof right,
to really take that leap, take that risk. And so
I want you to ask yourself, what have you been resisting?
Have you been weighing for too long? Have you not
been weighing long enough? It's been a big lesson for
me this year. Lesson number eleven. The people you leave
(25:20):
behind will feel left behind no matter what you do.
You can try to please them, you can try to
make them feel included, you can try to make them
feel involved in everything you're doing. But if they want
to feel left behind, they will find a reason to
feel left behind, and there's nothing you can do about it.
(25:43):
You have to accept it and move on. I've had
the fortune of seeing people stay connected with me even
when I was hard to connect with. And I've seen
others that have tried to stay connected with who've disconnected
despite my efforts. People, you leave behind and will feel
left behind no matter what you do. You can't stop
(26:03):
growing because of that. You can't stop going because of that.
But the thing you promise to yourself you won't do
is be bitter towards them, Be upset towards them, be
disappointed by them, because what that does is it pollutes
your journey. It pollutes your path, It pollutes the purity
of your intention, the purity of your purpose. When you
(26:26):
fall prey to the idea that they should have come,
they must do what I wish they would do. Unless
the number twelve love is not enough, build squills, qualities,
and characteristics. Don't over rely on love. I've seen this
(26:46):
the people I've worked with. People have mentored love will
get you only so far. Because people's capacity to love
is limited by their capacity for eight. People's capacity for
love is limited by their capacity for a lack of trust.
(27:08):
We are only love, We're made of love. But because
we've increased our capacity to be all these other things,
we have decreased our capacity for love. And therefore the skills,
the mindsets, the habits make up for what we lack
in love, only to ultimately lead to love. I want
to thank you for listening to my special birthday episode.
(27:30):
I hope these lessons gave you something to think about,
something to reflect upon. I hope you will continue to
be a part of this community and share the messages
you're learning here. I look forward to reconnecting with you soon.
Don't miss out on episodes new ones every Monday and Friday.
We've got like five hundred episodes for you to catch
up on. If you're new here. Thanks for listening. Remember
(27:52):
I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If
you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant
on why discomfort is the key to growth and the
strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you
want to be more and achieve more this year, go
(28:12):
check it out right now. You set a goal today,
you achieve it in six months, and then by the
time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense
of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it and
you would have been disappointed if it didn't happen
Host
Jay Shetty
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.