December 9, 2022 • 25 mins
Today, I will be sharing with you three ways for you to break out of your comfort zone and the endless possibilities if you start following your curiosity. If you keep growing and stop being too comfortable, you will see yourself achieving a whole lot more.
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Key Takeaways:
- 00:00:00 Intro
- 00:01:36 Prepare for the year ahead
- 00:02:11 Breaking out of our comfort zone
- 00:03:42 What is a good goal?
- 00:04:49 You learn in the uncomfortable moments & change your environment
- 00:07:57 When comfort creeps in
- 00:10:39 Figure out your blind spots
- 00:11:35 The uncomfortable became comfortable
- 00:13:08 Complacency and comfort lead to a crash
- 00:15:39 Be limitless
- 00:18:24 Follow your curiosity
- 00:21:58 Three things you need to do next year
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Being limitless is about being comfortable with discomfort. Do you
think you were comfortable taking your first few steps as
a baby. If you think about being a child, you
did something uncomfortable every few months. You started to walk
when you couldn't. You started to crawl when you couldn't.
You started to roll over when you couldn't. You started
to put yourself to bed when you couldn't. You started
to eat things when you didn't know you could. You
(00:21):
started to talk when you didn't know you could. You
constantly grew, and you grew fast and look what it created. Hey, everyone,
welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast
in the world. Thanks to each and every single one
of you that come back every week to listen, learn,
(00:43):
and grow. Take a moment to just thank yourself for
showing up for yourself by listening today. Whenever you're tuning
into on Purpose, you're doing something good for you. You're
stepping outside your comfort zone, You're investing in yourself, and
so take a moment, take a beat to just honor that.
I mean, we're coming to the end of the year now,
and I hope that you've had an incredible year of breakthrough, transformation, transition,
(01:10):
I hope that this has been a year that you
will look back to and remember for all the good things.
And if it's been a tough year, then I want
to set you up for success next year. And if
you've had a great year, I want next year to
be an even greater year. So I want you to
tune in to all of our episodes up until the
end of the year, because I'm going to be giving
(01:31):
you the insight on how to make twenty twenty three
the most incredible year. Now, it's about this time of year,
actually a couple of months ago, when I start preparing
for the year ahead. So I spend October, November, December
every year working a little bit harder so that I'm
feeling better in January, Fabrid March of next year. I
(01:53):
find that doing the work this year and pushing myself
a little bit more allows me to come back feeling excited,
feeling positive, knowing the winds are coming, rather than the
anxiety and the stress that often comes with the new year.
And today I want to talk to you about that
because this year, when I was doing it, and last
(02:13):
year when I was doing it, I realized I was
really using every bit of resilience and grit that I had.
I was pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. And
that's what I want to talk to you about today
is our comfort zone. Our comfort zone makes us feel cozy,
it makes us feel warm, and I find that a
(02:36):
lot of us during the pandemic, we had to find comfort.
We had to find peace, We had to find stability.
That was the need of the hour, that was the
need of the years. There was a need for each
of us to find comfort, to find peace, to find calm,
to find stillness. And what I realized is that often
(03:00):
we stay in the space we needed last season, Right,
how many of you feel that that you've stayed energetically
in the space you needed last season? But you can
tell that the season is changing, there's new things happening,
there's new growth, but there's a level of pace that
you've got stuck in. And if you're feeling that way,
(03:22):
like Jay, yeah, I just feel like I've been a
bit slower. I've been a bit lethargic. And maybe you
didn't like that. Now, if you like that, that's awesome.
But if there's a part of you that knows that
you have more potential, that knows that next year you
want to be more activated. That knows that next year
you want to get after some things that are really important.
The thing that's most fascinating about this is that I
(03:46):
don't think we recognize how much growth, learning, and moving
forward towards something are part of happiness. I think we
think of goals as success and achieve and because we've
made it about the result, because we've made it about
the best seller list, because we've made it about the charts,
(04:08):
because we've made it about the rich list, that does
become about success and achievement. But who we become in
the journey towards our goal. That's what goals are for.
A good goal is a goal that makes you better
than you were. Right, that's a good goal. A good
goal is not one you reach. A good goal is
(04:32):
one that makes you better than you were. And so
I think we often don't realize that striving moving towards
something without the pressure of getting there is actually good
for our mental health. It's actually good for our happiness.
I'm reading this from a journal. Psychologists conducted a study
(04:53):
where people documented major life events in an ongoing diary
over the course of three months, months, and four and
a half years after the events happened. People who engage
in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain
positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have
(05:14):
fewer experiences. A study conducted by Yale researchers found that
the only time we learn is when there is uncertainty
in our emotions. It's impossible to learn in any atmosphere
that is too comfortable and familiar. You learn more when
you're challenged or when you have to work harder to
keep up. So I love those two studies because we
(05:37):
start recognizing, Okay, well, I need to have new experiences,
I need to put myself in new places, and I
only learn when things are uncomfortable. Now, I don't need
to make my life uncomfortable uncertain. But what if I
have a discomfort day? Right? Or maybe you're like Jay,
I already have uncomfortable mornings. Maybe I just need to
look at them differently. So an example this is I
(06:01):
walk into a lot of stores and if you're like me,
I've been you know, I generally am living in LA
addressed very casually. I'll be wearing sweats, wearing my new
favorite Ellwood sweats. Shout out to Justin and the team
at Ellwood. If you're not wearing Elwood sweats. This is
not an ad, by the way. I'm just a big
fan of the Brandon. I'm genuinely wearing it right now.
But I'll walk into a store in those sweats. What
(06:26):
I find so often is that I'm in my comfort
zone wearing sweats, and then when I see something that's
different to that item of clothing, it's hard for me
to imagine myself in it. And anyone who knows they've
only worn the same thing for two years totally can
(06:46):
relate to this. And then when you start putting on
things that have a different silhouette, or have a different outline,
or make you look a bit different, it's challenging. Right.
It's challenging even to change what you wear, so imagine
how challenging it is to change how you think, what
you believe, your values. Right, we get so stuck. I
(07:06):
have a friend who literally has been wearing sweats for
the last three years, to dinner, anywhere, everywhere. Now. I
don't have anything against sweats, but it was really interesting
that I was having this conversation with him. He's struggling
in some of his work stuff right now, And I
was telling him how he needs to change his environment
if he's to change his mind. Changing your environment includes
(07:27):
your office space, your mind space. The first thing you
see in the morning. I think we underestimate the power
of the first thing you see in the morning. For
most of us, it's news, notifications, negativity, and noise. What
if it was your favorite work of art. What if
it was a picture of your family that brought you joy.
What if it was the name of your brand. What
(07:49):
if it was your favorite lyric or affirmation? What is
the first thing you see in the morning. Now, I
want to talk about what comfort does when you stay
in comfort. It's interesting because it creates something, and what
it creates is complacency. And I want to give a
(08:12):
scaled up example of this. So I read a book
a few years ago. It's a book that truly changed
my life. It's called Exponential Organizations, and it's all about
how the greatest companies in the world think exponentially. And
so this was one of the first books that talked
about the idea that Airbnb has access to more real
(08:33):
estate than any hotel company in the world. Uber has
access to more vehicles than any car service Instagram has
more access to media, but doesn't make any think about that.
In ten to twenty years, these companies have achieved what
it's taken companies fifty plus years to achieve. And a
(08:55):
lot of these companies achieve that within their first ten years.
It's unbelievable. There was a lot of complacency and comfort
from all these other companies, where these other organizations, these
exponential organizations, were able to supersede and move super fast
(09:15):
past them, and comfort and complacency creates this stagnation. And
there's two sentences that are always quoted as being frames
of mind that hold us back, and there's seven word phrases.
One of them is we have always done it that way.
(09:38):
I have always done it that way. I always do
it that way right. How many times does that thought
come up into your mind or in your language of yeah,
I know how to do that. We've always done that right.
And the other one that we say a lot is
if it's not broken, don't fix it. If it's not broken,
just counting, don't fix it right. Like, those two statements
(10:03):
create comfort and complacency. So what I want you to
do right now is I want you to reflect where
in your life. Are you starting to see comfort creep in?
Because that's the other thing about comfort. It doesn't break in.
Comfort creeps in. That's why we don't see it. Comfort
creeps in. It doesn't break in. If it broke in,
(10:24):
you'd notice it. But comfort creeps in ever so slowly
that you don't even know how it got involved, how
it got engaged, how it was invited in. And so
I want you to become really aware of where are
those blind spots. I had a friend asked me the
other day, what are your blind spots jay for next year?
And I thought, what a brilliant question, because if I know,
(10:46):
then I'm not blind. And that's why it was a
genius question. And so what are your blind spots? Think
about that for a second. What is something in twenty
twenty three that you're not even aware of that might
affect you. What is something that you think you've been
blind to or you're often blind to. I realized for me,
(11:07):
one of the biggest ones every year is getting so
good at saying no. Learning how to say no is
a blind spot for me. I overcommit, I overgive, I serve,
I overpush because I want to be there. I want
to show up and it's challenging and I'm trying to understand.
So that's me pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
(11:29):
But what I've realized is that really pushing myself out
of my comfort zone is learning how to say no. Right.
It's really interesting. I was speaking to my friend from
Yes Theory Amar the other day, and Ama was saying
that for years Yes Theory, if you don't know them,
amazing YouTube channel, what they do is they said yes
to a lot of crazy challenges. Right. They've gone and
(11:51):
done incredible things like find their way out of a
country that they got dropped in without a phone, going
to like hidden places across the world, tracking in the
snow and ice, and all these different physical and mental challenges.
And he was saying that doing the next big thing,
which was uncomfortable when they started, actually became comfortable. Think
(12:15):
about that for a second. The thing that used to
make you uncomfortable now has started to make you comfortable.
So he said that we realized that we were in
our comfort zone. And he said that now the greatest
route to being out of his comfort zone is actually
being alone with his thoughts for fifteen minutes, meditating in
the morning. So I love that idea that what is
(12:39):
it that used to challenge you before? Now you may
even have mastered it or pushed yourself to create a
discipline out of it. Now you have to find that
next challenge. In another way, what you've conquered is no
longer your discomfort zone. And so I want you to
think about that that sometimes you'll find what are you
complacent about? But sometimes what have you conquered? What have
(13:01):
you built? What have you achieved that now isn't challenging
you in the same way. And the interesting thing is
that complacency and comfort lead to a crash. And we
see this with companies, we see this with individuals. I
loved the examples of I remember a few years ago
(13:21):
I interviewed Mark Randolph, the co founder of a huge company,
but at one point he had a small company, and
he said that they were around fifty two million dollars
in debt, and he said they would have done anything
to get the company off their hands. If someone offered
them fifty two million, they would have taken it to
be at zero, just to break even to get out
(13:44):
of it, because it wasn't going in the right direction.
And he said that they even flew, they saved what
they had flew to this company, this big company who
was going to buy them. This company turned down buying
them for fifty million, and this bigger company turned down
buying them. I heard like three times that big company
(14:04):
was Blockbuster and that small company was Netflix. Right. Mark Randolph,
the co founder of Netflix, was telling me this story
on the podcast. He was one of the first ever
guests around three years ago, now three and a half
years ago. And it's incredible, right that a company like Blockbuster,
with the success that it had, it just doesn't connect.
(14:28):
You're just not aware because you get complacent, you get comfortable.
Another good example that I like to talk about is Nokia.
How many of you remember Snake one, and how many
of you remember Snake two? And how many of you
are still waiting for Snake three? Right, like it didn't happen.
Complacency comfort, and so you don't even know what complacency
and comforts steal from you. That's what's so interesting. They're
(14:50):
such fascinating thieves, or they're such fascinating thieves that we
don't even know what they'll steal from us. I don't
want them to steal your potential. I don't want them
to steal your service. Now, this doesn't mean you have
to hustle or you have to like push yourself and
become productive. That's not my point. My point is where
are you getting complacent and comfortable where you don't want
(15:12):
to be. That's the question. The question isn't how can
you push yourself harder and how can you make yourself
work more? That's not the question. The question is what
is the area in your life where you're getting comfortable
and complacent that you don't want to get comfortable and
complacent in. And the other question is what are your
blind spots? What are those areas that you're not even
(15:35):
conscious of that are affecting your potential? Being limitless is
about being comfortable with discomfort. Do you believe that people
were comfortable going to the space or moon? You know,
do you think people were comfortable? Do you think you
were comfortable taking your first few steps as a baby.
If you think about being a child, you did something
(15:56):
uncomfortable every few months, right, you started to walk when
you couldn't, You started to crawl when you couldn't, You
started to roll over when you couldn't, You started to
put yourself to bed when you couldn't. You started to
eat things when you didn't know you could. You started
to talk when you didn't know you could. You constantly grew,
and you grew fast, and look what it created. And
(16:17):
for some reason, when we finished college, we finished school,
whatever it may be, it's feel like you're grown now.
Like you're a grown up. Right, you're grown up. No
more growing left doesn't make sense. You're a grown up,
no more growing left. No, if you're grown up, keep growing, right.
If you're a grown up, keep growing. I want to
be a growing up. I think we've just put these
(16:40):
phrases into the world that have stunted our growth. When
you think about curiosity killed the cat, and I'll get
onto that curiosity didn't kill the cat, complacency did. But
if you always heard that as a kid, you became
more safe, you became less pro risk. And there's benefit
in this. I'm not saying there's benefit in safety. There is,
(17:02):
but there's also benefit in the opposite. And I think
what I'm finding is we're not trying to choose an extreme.
We're not trying to choose one or the other. What
we're trying, as a collective is to find that middle path.
How many of you were first comfortable when you started
doing what you are doing now, I'm sure none of
you are comfortable. I'm sure you still feel discomfort when
(17:23):
you try something new. All the best stuff happened when
we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations. All our best stuff
came from that, right, reflect on that for a second.
How many of your best moments came from things that
were uncomfortable? Now I want you to take the opposite path.
So we talked about one pathway. Comfort leads to complacency
(17:46):
leads to crashing. Right, comfort, complacency crash, and that's the
journey we're gone. We start with getting comfortable, it creeps in.
As it creeps in and it develops, right, we end
up getting lason and then as complacency develops, we crash. Now,
even before comfort is casualness, right, So you may not
(18:07):
even be comfortable, but there may be like a casual
feeling around certain things. As you become more casual, you
become more comfortable. And so I want you to ask yourself,
where are you starting to see signs of that journey?
And how are you going to limit that journey? Controlling
you Now the opposite journey starts with curiosity, right, curiosity.
(18:32):
There's a beautiful quote by zig Ziggler that I love.
You don't have to be great to start, but you
have to start to be great. Curiosity. What are you
curious about? What are you not leaning into? What have
you been thinking about for two years? Oh? I really
want to do a podcast. Oh I really want to
write a book. I really want to act. Whatever it
may be. You're curious about it, but you haven't followed
(18:54):
that curiosity. Why because you've been comfortable and complacent. I'm
doing a world torn next everyone. I am so excited,
And I want you to head over to Jstti tour
dot com to get your tour dates and buy your
tour tickets. And I want you to head to eight
Rules of Love dot com to buy and pre order
(19:15):
the book. But Jetty Tour dot com. I'm coming on
tour now. I'm it's a big tour. It's like I'm
going all across the world. I'm excited for you to
sell out every place obviously that I visit. It's I've
never done it before. I'm super new. I mean, I'm
very comfortable being on stage. I love that part. But
(19:37):
I've never traveled so much to so many cities in
such a short space of time. But I'm curious. I've
been curious about going on tour for such a long time.
So here we are. And so curiosity helps you build
competence as you get curious. What you have to do
with the mistake we make is we let curiosities remain
a passion, which means they give us diminishing return. So
(20:00):
here's the thing. If you're passionate about something, if you're
curious about something but you don't get good at it,
it gives you less and less joy. Have you ever
found that when you want to learn a language but
you don't learn it quick enough, and now it just
frustrates you? Right, almost the idea upsets you. Even when
someone says that at dinner, it triggers you because you
know you haven't made progress. Right If you say, I
(20:21):
really want to launch a podcast, I really want to
write a book, but you don't build your competence in it,
then when someone brings it up, it kind of like
makes you feel uncomfortable. So we create our own discomfort
because we don't build competence. So figure out that course,
that program, you need to go on to build your competence,
your skills. We now have over a thousand J. Shetty
(20:43):
certified coaches, and I've found that all of these coaches
have built an incredible competence not just to be great coaches,
but to be great parents, partners, professionals, friends. So curiosity
leads to competence, which leads to crushing it. Right, we
have that choice, do we want to crash or do
we want to crush? And there's only one letter difference
(21:05):
in those two words, and it's you. Right. It's a
choice that you make, that you take the path of
curiosity or you take the path of comfort. Now, I'm
not saying that you shouldn't be comfortable in your life,
that you shouldn't have comforts in your life. That's a
different conversation. I actually find that I live seventy five
percent of my life in my discomfort zone, and so
my personal life is very comfortable. I have a very
(21:27):
comfortable bed, I travel very comfortably because seventy five percent
of my life is uncomfortable. When I get off a plane,
I have to do something uncomfortable. Right when I wake
up in the morning, I often have to do something
uncomfortable early in the morning, and so I've tried to
make my life surrounding that comfortable so that it can
catch me so that not everything is uncomfortable. Right, you
(21:49):
can't have a life where everything, so my personal needs
are comfortable as opposed to my challenges that I take on. Now,
I'm gonna ask you this question. What are three things
you know you need to do to transform your life
next year? What are three things you know you need
to do? Here's the thing. You know your life better
than I do. I'm not here to tell you what
(22:10):
to do. I'm here to help you figure out how
to do it and how to think about it. What
are the three things you need to do? I'm going
to tell you what are the three things stopping you
from doing those three things. The first thing is you
need to set challenges, not just goals challenges, And I
think this is the mindset switch. We keep setting goals
and then we keep feeling disappointed that we don't reach them.
(22:32):
Set challenges. What are you challenging yourself to do? Not
where are you trying to get, Not what goal or
target you're trying to hit. What is the challenge you're
setting yourself? I challenge myself to go on a world tour. Right,
that's a challenge. My goal isn't do a world tour.
My goal is. My challenge is do a world tour. Right,
(22:52):
go on a world tour. I challenge myself to take
a world tour. It gets exciting. You're competitive with yourself.
We always say that, Oh no, I don't compete against
anyone to compete against me? Right, we all say that,
But what does that mean? It means you challenge yourself.
A competitor's only role is to challenge you to become better.
That's what competitors are for. That's what comparison is for.
(23:15):
It's not to make you feel worse. It's to make
you want to be better in things you care about.
So if you're going to make yourself your own competitor,
that has to be how you use it. So find
someone in your life that challenges you, but challenge yourself,
someone that keeps you accountable. Share an audacious challenge with
(23:35):
yourself and the person that you want to have in
your life, one that makes you feel a little uncomfortable,
but you're excited about it. Right. The second step is
figure out what in your day to day needs to change.
What in your environment needs to change. What about your
(23:55):
environment is getting too comfortable. Have you created a we
ken routine that's too comfortable, a morning routine that's too comfortable.
And I don't want you to be harsher on yourself,
and I don't want you to make big changes. You
can listen to my episode and habits to help you
figure that out. And the third step is I want
you to repeat these three affirmations. I even want you
to write them down. I am ready to go to
(24:18):
the next level. Repeat that after me. I am ready
to go to the next level. I am ready to
go to the next level. Now this one, take it internally.
I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
I can do hard things. And the third one is
(24:41):
I will not settle for less than I deserve. I
will not settle for less than I deserve. I will
not settle for less than I deserve. Thank you so
much for joining me today. I'm so grateful for all
the love, all the energy. This year. We've got a
(25:02):
few more weeks to make twenty twenty two amazing, and
I'm going to be starting twenty twenty three with the bank.
We've got so many great episodes for health and wellness,
for mindset, for your gut, for your heart, health, for
your mental health, Deeply powerful conversations with people that we
know and love. I'm so excited for twenty twenty three,
and I'm going to help you be excited and energized
(25:24):
for it as well. Keep tuning into on Purpose. I'll
see you again next week or tomorrow. Thank you so much.
Take care,
Being limitless is about being comfortable with discomfort. Do you
think you were comfortable taking your first few steps as
a baby. If you think about being a child, you
did something uncomfortable every few months. You started to walk
when you couldn't. You started to crawl when you couldn't.
You started to roll over when you couldn't. You started
to put yourself to bed when you couldn't. You started
to eat things when you didn't know you could. You
(00:21):
started to talk when you didn't know you could. You
constantly grew, and you grew fast and look what it created. Hey, everyone,
welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast
in the world. Thanks to each and every single one
of you that come back every week to listen, learn,
(00:43):
and grow. Take a moment to just thank yourself for
showing up for yourself by listening today. Whenever you're tuning
into on Purpose, you're doing something good for you. You're
stepping outside your comfort zone, You're investing in yourself, and
so take a moment, take a beat to just honor that.
I mean, we're coming to the end of the year now,
and I hope that you've had an incredible year of breakthrough, transformation, transition,
(01:10):
I hope that this has been a year that you
will look back to and remember for all the good things.
And if it's been a tough year, then I want
to set you up for success next year. And if
you've had a great year, I want next year to
be an even greater year. So I want you to
tune in to all of our episodes up until the
end of the year, because I'm going to be giving
(01:31):
you the insight on how to make twenty twenty three
the most incredible year. Now, it's about this time of year,
actually a couple of months ago, when I start preparing
for the year ahead. So I spend October, November, December
every year working a little bit harder so that I'm
feeling better in January, Fabrid March of next year. I
(01:53):
find that doing the work this year and pushing myself
a little bit more allows me to come back feeling excited,
feeling positive, knowing the winds are coming, rather than the
anxiety and the stress that often comes with the new year.
And today I want to talk to you about that
because this year, when I was doing it, and last
(02:13):
year when I was doing it, I realized I was
really using every bit of resilience and grit that I had.
I was pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. And
that's what I want to talk to you about today
is our comfort zone. Our comfort zone makes us feel cozy,
it makes us feel warm, and I find that a
(02:36):
lot of us during the pandemic, we had to find comfort.
We had to find peace, We had to find stability.
That was the need of the hour, that was the
need of the years. There was a need for each
of us to find comfort, to find peace, to find calm,
to find stillness. And what I realized is that often
(03:00):
we stay in the space we needed last season, Right,
how many of you feel that that you've stayed energetically
in the space you needed last season? But you can
tell that the season is changing, there's new things happening,
there's new growth, but there's a level of pace that
you've got stuck in. And if you're feeling that way,
(03:22):
like Jay, yeah, I just feel like I've been a
bit slower. I've been a bit lethargic. And maybe you
didn't like that. Now, if you like that, that's awesome.
But if there's a part of you that knows that
you have more potential, that knows that next year you
want to be more activated. That knows that next year
you want to get after some things that are really important.
The thing that's most fascinating about this is that I
(03:46):
don't think we recognize how much growth, learning, and moving
forward towards something are part of happiness. I think we
think of goals as success and achieve and because we've
made it about the result, because we've made it about
the best seller list, because we've made it about the charts,
(04:08):
because we've made it about the rich list, that does
become about success and achievement. But who we become in
the journey towards our goal. That's what goals are for.
A good goal is a goal that makes you better
than you were. Right, that's a good goal. A good
goal is not one you reach. A good goal is
(04:32):
one that makes you better than you were. And so
I think we often don't realize that striving moving towards
something without the pressure of getting there is actually good
for our mental health. It's actually good for our happiness.
I'm reading this from a journal. Psychologists conducted a study
(04:53):
where people documented major life events in an ongoing diary
over the course of three months, months, and four and
a half years after the events happened. People who engage
in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain
positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have
(05:14):
fewer experiences. A study conducted by Yale researchers found that
the only time we learn is when there is uncertainty
in our emotions. It's impossible to learn in any atmosphere
that is too comfortable and familiar. You learn more when
you're challenged or when you have to work harder to
keep up. So I love those two studies because we
(05:37):
start recognizing, Okay, well, I need to have new experiences,
I need to put myself in new places, and I
only learn when things are uncomfortable. Now, I don't need
to make my life uncomfortable uncertain. But what if I
have a discomfort day? Right? Or maybe you're like Jay,
I already have uncomfortable mornings. Maybe I just need to
look at them differently. So an example this is I
(06:01):
walk into a lot of stores and if you're like me,
I've been you know, I generally am living in LA
addressed very casually. I'll be wearing sweats, wearing my new
favorite Ellwood sweats. Shout out to Justin and the team
at Ellwood. If you're not wearing Elwood sweats. This is
not an ad, by the way. I'm just a big
fan of the Brandon. I'm genuinely wearing it right now.
But I'll walk into a store in those sweats. What
(06:26):
I find so often is that I'm in my comfort
zone wearing sweats, and then when I see something that's
different to that item of clothing, it's hard for me
to imagine myself in it. And anyone who knows they've
only worn the same thing for two years totally can
(06:46):
relate to this. And then when you start putting on
things that have a different silhouette, or have a different outline,
or make you look a bit different, it's challenging. Right.
It's challenging even to change what you wear, so imagine
how challenging it is to change how you think, what
you believe, your values. Right, we get so stuck. I
(07:06):
have a friend who literally has been wearing sweats for
the last three years, to dinner, anywhere, everywhere. Now. I
don't have anything against sweats, but it was really interesting
that I was having this conversation with him. He's struggling
in some of his work stuff right now, And I
was telling him how he needs to change his environment
if he's to change his mind. Changing your environment includes
(07:27):
your office space, your mind space. The first thing you
see in the morning. I think we underestimate the power
of the first thing you see in the morning. For
most of us, it's news, notifications, negativity, and noise. What
if it was your favorite work of art. What if
it was a picture of your family that brought you joy.
What if it was the name of your brand. What
(07:49):
if it was your favorite lyric or affirmation? What is
the first thing you see in the morning. Now, I
want to talk about what comfort does when you stay
in comfort. It's interesting because it creates something, and what
it creates is complacency. And I want to give a
(08:12):
scaled up example of this. So I read a book
a few years ago. It's a book that truly changed
my life. It's called Exponential Organizations, and it's all about
how the greatest companies in the world think exponentially. And
so this was one of the first books that talked
about the idea that Airbnb has access to more real
(08:33):
estate than any hotel company in the world. Uber has
access to more vehicles than any car service Instagram has
more access to media, but doesn't make any think about that.
In ten to twenty years, these companies have achieved what
it's taken companies fifty plus years to achieve. And a
(08:55):
lot of these companies achieve that within their first ten years.
It's unbelievable. There was a lot of complacency and comfort
from all these other companies, where these other organizations, these
exponential organizations, were able to supersede and move super fast
(09:15):
past them, and comfort and complacency creates this stagnation. And
there's two sentences that are always quoted as being frames
of mind that hold us back, and there's seven word phrases.
One of them is we have always done it that way.
(09:38):
I have always done it that way. I always do
it that way right. How many times does that thought
come up into your mind or in your language of yeah,
I know how to do that. We've always done that right.
And the other one that we say a lot is
if it's not broken, don't fix it. If it's not broken,
just counting, don't fix it right. Like, those two statements
(10:03):
create comfort and complacency. So what I want you to
do right now is I want you to reflect where
in your life. Are you starting to see comfort creep in?
Because that's the other thing about comfort. It doesn't break in.
Comfort creeps in. That's why we don't see it. Comfort
creeps in. It doesn't break in. If it broke in,
(10:24):
you'd notice it. But comfort creeps in ever so slowly
that you don't even know how it got involved, how
it got engaged, how it was invited in. And so
I want you to become really aware of where are
those blind spots. I had a friend asked me the
other day, what are your blind spots jay for next year?
And I thought, what a brilliant question, because if I know,
(10:46):
then I'm not blind. And that's why it was a
genius question. And so what are your blind spots? Think
about that for a second. What is something in twenty
twenty three that you're not even aware of that might
affect you. What is something that you think you've been
blind to or you're often blind to. I realized for me,
(11:07):
one of the biggest ones every year is getting so
good at saying no. Learning how to say no is
a blind spot for me. I overcommit, I overgive, I serve,
I overpush because I want to be there. I want
to show up and it's challenging and I'm trying to understand.
So that's me pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
(11:29):
But what I've realized is that really pushing myself out
of my comfort zone is learning how to say no. Right.
It's really interesting. I was speaking to my friend from
Yes Theory Amar the other day, and Ama was saying
that for years Yes Theory, if you don't know them,
amazing YouTube channel, what they do is they said yes
to a lot of crazy challenges. Right. They've gone and
(11:51):
done incredible things like find their way out of a
country that they got dropped in without a phone, going
to like hidden places across the world, tracking in the
snow and ice, and all these different physical and mental challenges.
And he was saying that doing the next big thing,
which was uncomfortable when they started, actually became comfortable. Think
(12:15):
about that for a second. The thing that used to
make you uncomfortable now has started to make you comfortable.
So he said that we realized that we were in
our comfort zone. And he said that now the greatest
route to being out of his comfort zone is actually
being alone with his thoughts for fifteen minutes, meditating in
the morning. So I love that idea that what is
(12:39):
it that used to challenge you before? Now you may
even have mastered it or pushed yourself to create a
discipline out of it. Now you have to find that
next challenge. In another way, what you've conquered is no
longer your discomfort zone. And so I want you to
think about that that sometimes you'll find what are you
complacent about? But sometimes what have you conquered? What have
(13:01):
you built? What have you achieved that now isn't challenging
you in the same way. And the interesting thing is
that complacency and comfort lead to a crash. And we
see this with companies, we see this with individuals. I
loved the examples of I remember a few years ago
(13:21):
I interviewed Mark Randolph, the co founder of a huge company,
but at one point he had a small company, and
he said that they were around fifty two million dollars
in debt, and he said they would have done anything
to get the company off their hands. If someone offered
them fifty two million, they would have taken it to
be at zero, just to break even to get out
(13:44):
of it, because it wasn't going in the right direction.
And he said that they even flew, they saved what
they had flew to this company, this big company who
was going to buy them. This company turned down buying
them for fifty million, and this bigger company turned down
buying them. I heard like three times that big company
(14:04):
was Blockbuster and that small company was Netflix. Right. Mark Randolph,
the co founder of Netflix, was telling me this story
on the podcast. He was one of the first ever
guests around three years ago, now three and a half
years ago. And it's incredible, right that a company like Blockbuster,
with the success that it had, it just doesn't connect.
(14:28):
You're just not aware because you get complacent, you get comfortable.
Another good example that I like to talk about is Nokia.
How many of you remember Snake one, and how many
of you remember Snake two? And how many of you
are still waiting for Snake three? Right, like it didn't happen.
Complacency comfort, and so you don't even know what complacency
and comforts steal from you. That's what's so interesting. They're
(14:50):
such fascinating thieves, or they're such fascinating thieves that we
don't even know what they'll steal from us. I don't
want them to steal your potential. I don't want them
to steal your service. Now, this doesn't mean you have
to hustle or you have to like push yourself and
become productive. That's not my point. My point is where
are you getting complacent and comfortable where you don't want
(15:12):
to be. That's the question. The question isn't how can
you push yourself harder and how can you make yourself
work more? That's not the question. The question is what
is the area in your life where you're getting comfortable
and complacent that you don't want to get comfortable and
complacent in. And the other question is what are your
blind spots? What are those areas that you're not even
(15:35):
conscious of that are affecting your potential? Being limitless is
about being comfortable with discomfort. Do you believe that people
were comfortable going to the space or moon? You know,
do you think people were comfortable? Do you think you
were comfortable taking your first few steps as a baby.
If you think about being a child, you did something
(15:56):
uncomfortable every few months, right, you started to walk when
you couldn't, You started to crawl when you couldn't, You
started to roll over when you couldn't, You started to
put yourself to bed when you couldn't. You started to
eat things when you didn't know you could. You started
to talk when you didn't know you could. You constantly grew,
and you grew fast, and look what it created. And
(16:17):
for some reason, when we finished college, we finished school,
whatever it may be, it's feel like you're grown now.
Like you're a grown up. Right, you're grown up. No
more growing left doesn't make sense. You're a grown up,
no more growing left. No, if you're grown up, keep growing, right.
If you're a grown up, keep growing. I want to
be a growing up. I think we've just put these
(16:40):
phrases into the world that have stunted our growth. When
you think about curiosity killed the cat, and I'll get
onto that curiosity didn't kill the cat, complacency did. But
if you always heard that as a kid, you became
more safe, you became less pro risk. And there's benefit
in this. I'm not saying there's benefit in safety. There is,
(17:02):
but there's also benefit in the opposite. And I think
what I'm finding is we're not trying to choose an extreme.
We're not trying to choose one or the other. What
we're trying, as a collective is to find that middle path.
How many of you were first comfortable when you started
doing what you are doing now, I'm sure none of
you are comfortable. I'm sure you still feel discomfort when
(17:23):
you try something new. All the best stuff happened when
we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations. All our best stuff
came from that, right, reflect on that for a second.
How many of your best moments came from things that
were uncomfortable? Now I want you to take the opposite path.
So we talked about one pathway. Comfort leads to complacency
(17:46):
leads to crashing. Right, comfort, complacency crash, and that's the
journey we're gone. We start with getting comfortable, it creeps in.
As it creeps in and it develops, right, we end
up getting lason and then as complacency develops, we crash. Now,
even before comfort is casualness, right, So you may not
(18:07):
even be comfortable, but there may be like a casual
feeling around certain things. As you become more casual, you
become more comfortable. And so I want you to ask yourself,
where are you starting to see signs of that journey?
And how are you going to limit that journey? Controlling
you Now the opposite journey starts with curiosity, right, curiosity.
(18:32):
There's a beautiful quote by zig Ziggler that I love.
You don't have to be great to start, but you
have to start to be great. Curiosity. What are you
curious about? What are you not leaning into? What have
you been thinking about for two years? Oh? I really
want to do a podcast. Oh I really want to
write a book. I really want to act. Whatever it
may be. You're curious about it, but you haven't followed
(18:54):
that curiosity. Why because you've been comfortable and complacent. I'm
doing a world torn next everyone. I am so excited,
And I want you to head over to Jstti tour
dot com to get your tour dates and buy your
tour tickets. And I want you to head to eight
Rules of Love dot com to buy and pre order
(19:15):
the book. But Jetty Tour dot com. I'm coming on
tour now. I'm it's a big tour. It's like I'm
going all across the world. I'm excited for you to
sell out every place obviously that I visit. It's I've
never done it before. I'm super new. I mean, I'm
very comfortable being on stage. I love that part. But
(19:37):
I've never traveled so much to so many cities in
such a short space of time. But I'm curious. I've
been curious about going on tour for such a long time.
So here we are. And so curiosity helps you build
competence as you get curious. What you have to do
with the mistake we make is we let curiosities remain
a passion, which means they give us diminishing return. So
(20:00):
here's the thing. If you're passionate about something, if you're
curious about something but you don't get good at it,
it gives you less and less joy. Have you ever
found that when you want to learn a language but
you don't learn it quick enough, and now it just
frustrates you? Right, almost the idea upsets you. Even when
someone says that at dinner, it triggers you because you
know you haven't made progress. Right If you say, I
(20:21):
really want to launch a podcast, I really want to
write a book, but you don't build your competence in it,
then when someone brings it up, it kind of like
makes you feel uncomfortable. So we create our own discomfort
because we don't build competence. So figure out that course,
that program, you need to go on to build your competence,
your skills. We now have over a thousand J. Shetty
(20:43):
certified coaches, and I've found that all of these coaches
have built an incredible competence not just to be great coaches,
but to be great parents, partners, professionals, friends. So curiosity
leads to competence, which leads to crushing it. Right, we
have that choice, do we want to crash or do
we want to crush? And there's only one letter difference
(21:05):
in those two words, and it's you. Right. It's a
choice that you make, that you take the path of
curiosity or you take the path of comfort. Now, I'm
not saying that you shouldn't be comfortable in your life,
that you shouldn't have comforts in your life. That's a
different conversation. I actually find that I live seventy five
percent of my life in my discomfort zone, and so
my personal life is very comfortable. I have a very
(21:27):
comfortable bed, I travel very comfortably because seventy five percent
of my life is uncomfortable. When I get off a plane,
I have to do something uncomfortable. Right when I wake
up in the morning, I often have to do something
uncomfortable early in the morning, and so I've tried to
make my life surrounding that comfortable so that it can
catch me so that not everything is uncomfortable. Right, you
(21:49):
can't have a life where everything, so my personal needs
are comfortable as opposed to my challenges that I take on. Now,
I'm gonna ask you this question. What are three things
you know you need to do to transform your life
next year? What are three things you know you need
to do? Here's the thing. You know your life better
than I do. I'm not here to tell you what
(22:10):
to do. I'm here to help you figure out how
to do it and how to think about it. What
are the three things you need to do? I'm going
to tell you what are the three things stopping you
from doing those three things. The first thing is you
need to set challenges, not just goals challenges, And I
think this is the mindset switch. We keep setting goals
and then we keep feeling disappointed that we don't reach them.
(22:32):
Set challenges. What are you challenging yourself to do? Not
where are you trying to get, Not what goal or
target you're trying to hit. What is the challenge you're
setting yourself? I challenge myself to go on a world tour. Right,
that's a challenge. My goal isn't do a world tour.
My goal is. My challenge is do a world tour. Right,
(22:52):
go on a world tour. I challenge myself to take
a world tour. It gets exciting. You're competitive with yourself.
We always say that, Oh no, I don't compete against
anyone to compete against me? Right, we all say that,
But what does that mean? It means you challenge yourself.
A competitor's only role is to challenge you to become better.
That's what competitors are for. That's what comparison is for.
(23:15):
It's not to make you feel worse. It's to make
you want to be better in things you care about.
So if you're going to make yourself your own competitor,
that has to be how you use it. So find
someone in your life that challenges you, but challenge yourself,
someone that keeps you accountable. Share an audacious challenge with
(23:35):
yourself and the person that you want to have in
your life, one that makes you feel a little uncomfortable,
but you're excited about it. Right. The second step is
figure out what in your day to day needs to change.
What in your environment needs to change. What about your
(23:55):
environment is getting too comfortable. Have you created a we
ken routine that's too comfortable, a morning routine that's too comfortable.
And I don't want you to be harsher on yourself,
and I don't want you to make big changes. You
can listen to my episode and habits to help you
figure that out. And the third step is I want
you to repeat these three affirmations. I even want you
to write them down. I am ready to go to
(24:18):
the next level. Repeat that after me. I am ready
to go to the next level. I am ready to
go to the next level. Now this one, take it internally.
I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
I can do hard things. And the third one is
(24:41):
I will not settle for less than I deserve. I
will not settle for less than I deserve. I will
not settle for less than I deserve. Thank you so
much for joining me today. I'm so grateful for all
the love, all the energy. This year. We've got a
(25:02):
few more weeks to make twenty twenty two amazing, and
I'm going to be starting twenty twenty three with the bank.
We've got so many great episodes for health and wellness,
for mindset, for your gut, for your heart, health, for
your mental health, Deeply powerful conversations with people that we
know and love. I'm so excited for twenty twenty three,
and I'm going to help you be excited and energized
(25:24):
for it as well. Keep tuning into on Purpose. I'll
see you again next week or tomorrow. Thank you so much.
Take care,
Host
Jay Shetty
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