April 14, 2023 • 34 mins
Today, I am excited to share how we can switch our minds for better growth and resilience. We will learn about the 3-step formula monks use to train themselves to be more mindful and present in the moment, the achievable steps to help improve our focus, and how to teach our mind to adapt and learn faster.
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.
Key Takeaways:
- 00:00 Intro
- 01:38 How to monk-switch your mind for growth and resilience?
- 05:52 Train yourself to equate change with opportunity
- 09:30 We become better at learning things as we grow older
- 10:03 The 3-step formula to help reshape our brains and improve our focus
- 14:15 "When you choose to see stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage."
- 16:03 Step #1: Clear and intentional goal
- 17:43 Step #2: Focus
- 19:37 Step #3: Motivation
- 21:28 Step #4: Service
- 23:13 Step #5: Create a supportive environment for your development
- 26:54 Welcome to the Daily Jay!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Monks, which I learned to train was constantly asking
myself why. Every time I wanted something, I would trace
the why. Is it because of a societal expectation, or
ego pursuit or a deep value? That three letter word
is a skeleton key for unlocking your self awareness, and
self awareness is at the root of self mastery. Hey everyone,
(00:28):
and I'm so excited because we're going to be adding
a really special offering onto the back of my solo
episodes on Fridays. It's my short daily series on Calm,
the Daily j And let me tell you, it's unlike
anything else I'm doing. It's part storytelling, part mindfulness with
a wide range of unique actionable insights, and it's also
the only place you can meditate with me each and
(00:50):
every day. I absolutely love all the wisdom was sharing,
all the lives were changing, and whether you want to
improve your mindset, your habits, or your relationships, whether you
on to work on developing more focus, presence or equanimity,
building a daily Jay routine just seven minutes every day
can make a huge impact, So make sure to check
out the session at the end of the podcast, and
(01:12):
then subscribe to Calm for your daily dose of The
Daily J Go tocalm dot com, forward slash J for
forty percent off your membership today. This week we're tackling
the topic of mindset and how to approach life with focus, perspective,
and positivity. Of course, if you want to listen to
the Daily JA every day, you have to subscribe to
cam so go tocalm dot com, forward slash J for
(01:35):
forty percent off your membership today. Hey everyone, I'm so
excited to be speaking with you today about six ways
to monk switch your mind for growth and resilience. There
has been a lot of research involving monks that shows
how monks are really masters of the mind. I detail
some of it in my books Think Like a Monk.
(01:55):
For example, several years ago, a monk named yonge minga pachet,
traveled from Nepal to a research facility in Wisconsin so
the scientists there could observe his brain activity while he meditated.
They put a device that looked like a shower cap
on him and fixed hundreds of senses to his skull,
(02:17):
and they had him cycle in and out of meditative
states on Q. Now, if you've ever tried to meditate,
you sit down and what happens to second you try
to clear your head, your mind floods with thoughts. Right.
It takes most of us at least five to ten
minutes to settle down mentally and get into that meditative
space if we're lucky. So knowing this, the researchers in
(02:41):
Wisconsin were astonished by what they saw, which is that
whenever they gave them monk the signal to start a
meditation cycle, his brain immediately went into meditation mode. It
was like flipping a switch. They had never seen anything
like it. He was able to switch in an out
of meditation mode again and again, just like that. And
(03:04):
here's the thing that's important to understand. This monk wasn't special,
no offense to him. What I mean by that was
that he wasn't following some exclusive special training program. All
he was doing was he was living the regular life
of a monk. These same scientists, along with others, have
run many exhaustive detailed studies on long time monks and
(03:28):
other season meditators, and they all show the same types
of results. An astonishing degree of mental control, whether in
the form of focus, compassion, and even the brain indicators
for happiness. Monks spend so much time training their minds
that when challenges arise, whether it's dealing with external challenges
(03:49):
like what we're all experiencing now or internal ones like
struggling with ego, that's when their training kicks in. Like
younger Mingo Rimpoche, we can learn and to monks switch
our minds so that the practices we've trained automatically kick
in in times of stress and struggle. Today, I'm going
to share with you six ways to monks switch your
(04:11):
mind so you can feel more resilient and experience a
greater sense of meaning and purpose, especially in the face
of massive challenges. Now, at the monastery, monks have what
is mostly a controlled, immersive environment for their training. And
so you're probably thinking, but Jay, I'm not a monk,
and I don't want to be a monk, So how
(04:33):
can this apply to me? This time we're in can
be your monastery or your aushroom, And in a few
minutes I'll talk about some ways you can actually create
more peace in your own surroundings. So, if you're ready,
here we go. Now, some of you know I'm massively
into movies. I would have referred to one movie. Now
I'm going to bring in another. I especially love Christopher
(04:55):
Nolan movies, and his movie Memento is one of my favorites.
If you're not seeing the movie, it's about a man
who has a very specific type of amnesia, a brain
condition where he can no longer make new memories, and
the story is told starting with the ending, then working backwards. Now,
since that movie has a neuroscience theme and I'm about
(05:15):
to delve into some neuroscience I thought I'd do it
Memento style. We're going to start at the end with
where you want to end up and work backwards to
how you get there. For most of us, it relates
to resilience. We want to feel that no matter what happens,
we can handle it, that we have the tools to
deal effectively with whatever life throws at us. That's our target. Now.
(05:39):
That might be individually, and it also might be from
a relationship perspective or from an organizational perspective. You're an
entrepreneur or a family person, whatever type of resilience you're
focused on creating. Here's the thing. In order to change
your external experiences in life, you have to master your
internal experiences first. There are indisputable facts about what's going
(06:03):
on around us right now in the outside world, but
on the inside, we're all experiencing it differently. Some of
us are filled with fear and anxiety, while others are
finding a way to navigate it with more equantimity and
even make progress in their lives or their organizations or relationships.
Some couples are leaning in and becoming more of a team.
(06:23):
Some individuals are using this as a growth opportunity. Some
companies are creating new service lines. Take zok Doc, an
online service for booking in personal medical appointments. The company
had a massive amount of a momentum coming into twenty twenty,
but by the end of March, they saw bookings decline
anywhere from fifty to ninety percent. Co founder Oliver Kara's
(06:47):
was advised to layoff staff and lay low for the duration,
as many companies have done, yet zok Dog did the opposite.
They expanded instead of trying to weather the storm. Karas
says he saw an opportunity to build windmills instead of
initiating layoffs. The company tasks their staff with creating and
implementing a telehealth platform so patients could get remote care
(07:12):
from their doctors. It was a massive effort, But within
two months the company had done the impossible. They pulled
off a successful launch of a brand new telehealth platform that,
under other circumstances, Karas says, would have taken them two
years to create an introduce. One of the greatest monks
which is out there is to train yourself to equate change,
(07:35):
especially change that seems negative, with opportunity. Monk David stendel
Ross talks about something he calls grateful living, which is
a way of cultivating trust in life and in all
that's happening in the external world, no matter how it feels.
As stendel Ross says, when you receive every moment as
(07:56):
a gift, you ask yourself, what's the opportunity in this moment?
And that's exactly what zogdog dig. And that's what you
can learn to do to find the opportunities that are
present in these otherwise challenging moments. But I'm sure you
know countless other examples of organizations and people who do
in the opposite. They're struggling, and that's underscertnable. I want
(08:19):
to acknowledge that this really isn't an exceptional time for
us all and most of us are experiencing some combination
of personal loss and financial loss or stress that's very real. Yet,
as doctor Andrew Huberman says, part of what determines whether
we struggle or find a way to thrive depends largely
on how we frame stress. Hooberman is a professor in
(08:41):
the Department of Neurobiology at Stanford University who studies, among
other things, brain plasticity, or our brain's ability to learn
and progress. He says, perhaps the biggest determined of how
we will weather storms, from the pandemic down to everyday
stresses is whether we run from our fears, whether we freeze,
(09:02):
or whether we move towards what we're afraid of. In fact, neurologically,
it's only really in conditions of discomfort that we can
train our brains to learn to thrive from stress and
become more resilient. So we have our goal now to
uncover how we get there, along with how ancient wisdom
(09:22):
figures into the equation. Let's take a step backwards and
look at some of doctor Huberman's research on neuroplasticity. It
used to be that we thought that once you hit
about your mid twenties, your brain couldn't change much. You
can't teach an old dog or even thirty five year
old new tricks right. But thankfully, modern research shows that's
(09:43):
just not true. In fact, in some ways, we can
actually become better at learning difficult things and performing at
the leading edge of our ability, especially if we understand
how our brains work, and fortunately, according to neuro research,
there's a pretty predictable formula for it. The first part
(10:04):
of the formula involves three things. These are the three
elements you need to be able to learn to raise
your level of performance. First, you need clear intention and direction.
The second thing you need is intense focus, and the
third thing you need is a strong motivation. The next
step in the formula for learning and growth is that
(10:27):
you need to apply direction, focus, and motivation continuously for
an extended period of time. Think about it. If you
lose your direction, you'll go off course. If you lose focus,
you'll be ineffective, and if you lose motivation, you'll disconnect
from the emotion that was acting like a propeller pushing
you forward. Imagine a marathon runner during all those days
(10:50):
and miles they log when they're training. If they lose
sight of their direction, they won't train properly. If they
lose sight of their focus, they can get distracted by
all the other things they'd rather be doing, like hanging
out with friends and eating pizza instead of running fifteen
miles and the pouring rain. And if they lose their
motivation when they're out on the road or the track,
(11:13):
they won't have the heart to keep going. So you
need to be invoking all three over and over again,
just like that runner training day after day to run
that marathon. And there's another part of the equation. The
progress you make doesn't reshape your brain and create actual
learning or skills. You can repeat until another element is added,
(11:38):
and that element is periods of deep sleep or rest.
So the direction, focus, motivation sustained along with deep rest.
That's the formula for how we can reshape our brains.
And it explains why Yonge Mingo Rimpoche showed those incredible
results in Wisconsin, because that formula is essentially how a
(12:00):
monk lives every day of their life in focused, directed,
intense effort followed by periods of rest. Fortunately, as Huberman's
research shows, you don't have to live like a monk
to change your brain. You do, however, have to understand
how to overcome some neurochemical hurdles. In that first part
(12:21):
of the equation direction focus and motivation, your brain is
releasing two main neurochemicals to assist with the performance and
learning processes. Those are acetal coolin, which will help to
make those actual changes to your brain when you rest,
and nora adrenaline. The noor adrenaline, as you might guess
from the adrenaline part, gets you amped up. Think about
(12:44):
how you feel when you're about to compete, or about
to give a presentation, or about to sit down to
an intense work session. You might feel anxious, or excited
or fidgety. Many of us interpret these feelings as negative,
but as Huberman points out, some amount of agitation or
even a feeling of frustration is normal to the process
(13:05):
of getting ready to do something that's at the edge
of your performance zone. It's what the initial stages of
growth feel like. But many of us let these feelings
of agitation sidetrack us. We can't get focused, we say
in actuality. Part of the nora adrenalis's role is to
help you get focused. So instead of allowing yourself to
(13:28):
click over to Twitter or text a friend, you need
to train yourself to just get started in a few minutes.
The agitation will pass as you get into the next
phase of the process, which is the sustained effort portion.
So that's where that stress response comes in. When you
feel that stress of agitation, that's a time to monk
(13:48):
switch your mind. When you feel that anxiety, your hands
maybe go a bit cold, or you get fidgety. Tell
yourself again and again, I'm about to learn or I'm
about to grow. Over time, those body signals will cue
those thoughts automatically. As Stanford researcher and stress expert Kelly
(14:09):
McGonagall says, when you choose to view your stress responses helpful,
you create the biology of courage. How powerful is that? Literally,
when you choose to see stress as useful. Now, remember,
once we step over that stress threshold and start learning
or performing. We're in our presentation or our high stakes meeting,
(14:31):
we're working on writing our book, or we're running that marathon.
We have to sustain the effort. And this is where
another neurochemical you're probably familiar with, kicks in dopamine. Little
hints of dopamine signal us that, as humanman says, we're
on the right path, and that's what draws us forward. Otherwise,
(14:53):
our brains would become too saturated with nora adrenaline, and
eventually it would make us give up because we'd be
worn out. Occasional dopamine hits actually balance the no adrenaline
by giving us a chemical and emotional thumbs up, and
that keeps us going. That's why marathoners will tell themselves
just make it to the next water station, or to
(15:13):
the next intersection, or it's why people tell you, instead
of focusing on writing an entire business plan, to chunk
it down into smaller pieces and just focus on completing
one at a time, then giving yourself a mental high five.
Those smaller milestones give us a boost of dopamine when
we achieve them. There are other ways to get dopamine
hits as well. Research from Huberman's lab shows that things
(15:37):
like laughter, a sense of group cohesiveness, a feeling of
being supported, or a sense of playfulness among others, gives
us that dopaman that sustains our effort. So now let's
backstep again and I'll show you how a monk would
approach that formula for growth, learning and resilience. The first
element was a clear intentional goal. For monks, our GPS
(15:59):
that points us in the right direction is our value system.
We looked to our values to direct us. So our
intention or our goal would link to our values. For example,
I tell a story in my book of a time
when I was walking with my teacher and we came
across a monk who was an incredibly accomplished scholar. I
was so impressed with how many verses and passages from
(16:20):
the ancient texts he had memorized. I turned to my
teacher and said, I want to do that too, And
he asked me do you want to do that because
you want to be known as someone who did that
or because you want to actually put in the hard
work of doing it. So for monks, what we might
have a goal in mind, say memorizing books or verses,
(16:42):
we would link our goal to a deep values such
as learning, rather than a surface pursuit such as ego,
did you catch the monks? Suits there? It was a
bit hidden the monks, which I learned to train. It
was constantly asking myself why. Every time I wanted something,
I would trace the why Is it because of a
societal expectation or ego pursuit? Or a deep value. That
(17:06):
three letter word is a skeleton key for unlocking your
self awareness, and self awareness is at the root of
self mastery. So train yourself to ask why. For a week.
Every time you want something, ask yourself why, even if
it's just a type of food, Where does that want
come from? If you do this with regularity, you'll start
(17:27):
to do it automatically, and the practice will help you
connect with value directed goals. The second component in the
learning formula is focused. How many of us have sat
down at our computer with the intention of doing something
We're finally going to start that course, and then five
minutes later when on Instagram or texting a friend to
(17:48):
see what they're up to. Without the ability to bring
your focus fully to a task and sustain it, you
will not make progress. There are several ways a monk
cultivates focus, one of which is through mindfulness. You can
think of mindfulness simply as noticing what is in the
present moment without judgment. Here's a practice you can use
(18:11):
to train that. Simply sit in a comfortable position, breathing
in deeply and then out and in again and now,
instead of trying to totally clear your mind, just notice
what comes up, acknowledge it, release it, like, Okay, I
notice some anxiety around work. Okay, I acknowledge you anxiety. Now,
(18:35):
I realize you, and I bring my mind back to
the present moment. If it comes back, acknowledge and release
it again. There's no need to get upset at anything
that arises. The goal is to not have an empty mind.
It's to be where you are practicing, noticing and releasing
the monks which you're training. Here is that when you
sit down to start that course, when the inevitable distractions arise,
(18:59):
you can simply notice them and release them, coming back
to focus on your project. Essayist and novelist Pico Aya
said in an Age of Distraction, nothing can feel more
luxurious than paying attention. And I love that quote because
that's the way we can hack our focus, but reframing
(19:21):
it not as something that's hard, but as a treat,
as a luxury, as he says it. Now. The third
component is motivation. As I write in my book, According
to a Hindu philosopher named Tucker, there are four fundamental motivations. Fear, desire, duty,
and love. Everything we do sits in one of these
(19:42):
four motivations. However, a monk would say as Tucker that
fear is not sustainable over the long term. Your anxiety
may motivate you now, but it's going to exhaust your
body in your mind. Also, fear limits your access to
creative thinking and decisive creative solutions. And when we are
motivated by desire for personal gratification, we may be happy
(20:05):
when we first get that new car or whatever it is,
but we all know that feeling quickly wears off and
will need more to achieve the same pleasure. However, when
we're motivated by duty and love, these motivations create meaning.
Love is the ultimate motivation and the ultimate why. And
as American football coach Bill Walsh once said, if your
(20:28):
why is strong enough, you will figure out how. So
when you're thinking about what you want to do, you
want to align your motivation with duty such as getting
a better job so you can support your family, or
love such as helping others, or the simple love of
learning and improving. When they opted to create a telehealth platform,
(20:49):
zoc Doc had the strongest why. Of course, the company
wanted to remain profitable, but more than that, they wanted
to protect their staff and their jobs. They wanted to
support the medical providers who suddenly couldn't see patients in person,
and they wanted to support people who are abruptly cut
off from medical support during an international health crisis. When
(21:11):
dot created their new platform, they even offered it for
free to doctors who are not ZOC doc providers. See
here's the single most important thing I'm going to tell
you today. Service is the ultimate hack. When you tie
your work or your goals to love and service of others.
It's the most powerful way to game your brain to
(21:34):
strive and grow because service not only feels good, it
also boosts our self esteem and creates connection with others.
And service is a self reinforcing motivation. We want to
keep working and to keep serving because we get so
much satisfaction from it, and so we want to keep
expending that effort. Service has its own built in reward system.
(21:57):
For monks, our lives revolved around two distinct and intense
areas of focus, the self and the not self. We'd
spend the first half of our days meditating, learning classes,
otherwise training and mastering ourselves. The rest of the day
we would spend in service of others. Service was our
highest purpose for me. It still is, it motivates me deeply,
(22:21):
So that's another monk switch. Whenever possible, figure out how
to switch your work from total focus on self to service.
Whether it's service or your family, your community, or your company.
It will help you feel motivated, directed, energized, and like
you can make a real impact even when it feels
as if everything is around you is crushing down. Remember
(22:41):
this emotion will follow action, even if at first you're
feeling down and defeated, if you're not sure how you're
going to move forward. If you can use these steps
to just get going, just start learning, just start growing,
just start serving the positive emotions, the sense of motivation,
of accomplishment, of connects of satisfaction will follow. Now here's
(23:04):
the last back step. I promise that I'd give you
a monk tip on bringing some of the ushroom like
peace to your everyday training grounds. You want to make
your environment supportive of your development, so you want to
remove or limit as much as possible the things that
are putting you in an anxious, reactive straight rather than
a calm, proactive state. One of the easiest ways to
(23:26):
do this is to pay attention to the three essays.
The sights sounds and smells in your environment. Let's look
at what we see. How do most of us start
and end our day. Not with the kiss or a
kind word for a partner, or even brushing our teeth,
it's checking our phones. Data from Assurian says that the
(23:47):
average American checks their phone ninety six times a day.
It's usually to check social media or our email. And
how do we feel after we do that? Agitated, negative, lonely,
frustrated monk train would be much more difficult if monks
had smartphones, trust me. So, one thing you can do
is to try and control what you see at least
as much as possible, at least first thing in the morning,
(24:09):
and that includes minimizing your interaction with your smartphone. So
you maybe print a beautiful image or motivational quote that
you put next to your workstation or your bedside table.
You may scribble it down on a post it note.
You may look outdoors. That's one of the reasons monks
are so tidy and ushrooms and monasteries are typically in
natural settings. We support the cultivation of internal beauty by
(24:32):
creating and enjoying external beauty. When it comes to smells, sense,
evoke emotion. In fact, they're the most powerful link to memory.
That's why you remember someone's cologne or perfume, the smell
of cut grass or linen hung out to dry. Because
sense have such strong triggers, you want to try and
expose yourself to sense you enjoy or that calm you
(24:54):
or energize you as needed. Lavender, eucalyptus and sandalwood three,
or my favorite the final s is sounds when I
was living in bustling New York City are usually end
of my day's exhausted and maybe even a little cranky.
Now that I'm in LA which is a little more chill,
it's a different story. Later I learned about something called
(25:14):
cognitive load, which you can sort of think of as
programs running in the background on your computer that you
don't actually need to be open, but are using up resources.
Except it's happening in your brain. Right. So now I
make a point to again, as much as possible, control
the sounds around me. You can't have the news on
the background and wonder why you feel negative. You can't
(25:35):
have people talking all day and wonder why you can't
find stillness. Now, when I have to set an alarm,
I set it to soothing sounds instead of a blaring
sound that will startle me. Try to cut down on
any extraneous or unpleasant noise so you can have access
to more of your brain's energy. So, now that we've
arrived at the beginning, here's your assignment in addition to
(25:58):
training your monks, which is, I want you to make
a list of fifteen opportunities that are present for you
right now. Now. Fifteen might seem like a lot, and
it is, but that's the point to make you stretch
and get creative with how you're viewing this current time.
From those opportunities, start with just one goal you want
to pursue that will get you closer to that skilled, resilient,
(26:22):
powerful version of yourself. You now have a science and
monk tested formula for how to make it happen. Thank
you so much for listening. I hope you have an
amazing day and I hope to meet you soon. Today's
(26:46):
mission rewired the brain to focus on the positive. Today's
tool self talk. The next seven minutes are about you
and reframing or inner monologue. I'm Ja Shetty. Welcome to
the Daily j It's nearly impossible to reframe if we're
(27:10):
rushing ahead. So let's take a moment to slow down
and get centered with three deep breaths, breathing in and out,
in feeling the stomach expand and out, releasing any tension,
(27:38):
in focusing on the breath and out, arriving here in
the present, let's dive in. Half a century ago, the
conventional wisdom said that the adult brain couldn't change. But
(28:01):
that was half a century ago when TikTok was just
the sound of your clock in the hall. Scientists have
since discovered that our brains are never done growing and reorganizing.
They're never done rewiring. It's called neuroplasticity, and it's led
to some major medical breakthroughs, but it also has huge
(28:25):
implications on our daily lives. Believe it or not, we
all have significant influence over how our brains continue to develop.
To quote an eminent neuropsychologist called Rick Hanson, the details
are complex, but the key point is simple. How you
(28:45):
use your mind changes your brain for better or worse.
Whatever we do consistently becomes an unconscious mental habit, like
leaning into gratitude or dwelling on our fears. The challenges
the brain is actually biased toward negativity, so it's really
(29:06):
important to take intentional steps towards changing it for the better. Okay,
so how do we do that? While there's emerging evidence
that self talk is an agent of neuroplasticity, when you
shift your thinking from negative to positive and you do
it often enough, you'll move your brain in the right direction.
(29:31):
And self talk is an incredible tool to shift your thinking.
Self talk both reveals and then affects how you view
yourself with compassion or criticism. But today I want to
discuss your self talk in relation to feelings and emotions.
(29:51):
Let's take the example of being tired. Happens to all
of us right when you're in the middle of your day,
but you will ready fel exhausted. In that moment, you
could say two different things to yourself. You could say,
I'm so drained, why don't I have any energy? I
can't believe I still have all this stuff to do
(30:14):
to so many hours before I can relax. Or I'm
going to make sure I get to bed early tonight
and get a good night's sleep only a few more
hours to go. I could do this Basically, do you
complain or do you make a plan with a positive outcome. Frustration, hunger, discomfort,
(30:37):
it doesn't matter. Any feeling or emotion can be met
with a complaint about the problem, or it can be
reframed to focus on the solution. Of course, it might
take some work to fight back on negative impulses and
approach self talk constructively, but ultimately that process of reframing
(30:58):
will rewire your brain for positivity and you'll feel better
in the moment too. Now, how many of you want
some more good news? Practicing Meditation has also been shown
to boost the brain, which is yet another reason we
close with the moment of stillness. So get comfortable wherever
(31:21):
you are, settling into your body, seeing if you can
find a position that brings you greater ease. Close your
eyes if you're able to, no worries. If not, just
(31:43):
try getting as present as possible. And now, let's tune
in to the breath, the pure flow of air in
and out. Today. The breath can be your home base.
(32:14):
Try holding your attention here, bringing your focus back. If
you ever wonder if your mind gets caught up in
any thoughts, return to the breath. If your mind gets
(32:37):
caught up in any negative thoughts, See if you can
reframe them in a positive light, and then return to
the breath. We're not judging those negative thoughts. They're natural
(32:58):
and we want to accept them. But let's see if
we can move to a more positive place. And now
let's open this up by reflecting on feelings or emotions
that we tend to complain about. For me, it's when
(33:21):
I feel overworked. Now, you may notice that there's often
a pattern to your negativity, So how can you reframe
things to break that pattern? How else could you improve
(33:42):
yourself talk to rewire your brain. Change might not happen overnight,
but there's no rush as long as you're heading in
the right direction. If this session helped you reframe your
thoughts to day, think about who you could share it
(34:05):
with to help them with theirs. Thank you so much
for joining me today. I'm so grateful your on this
journey with me, and I'll see you again tomorrow.
The Monks, which I learned to train was constantly asking
myself why. Every time I wanted something, I would trace
the why. Is it because of a societal expectation, or
ego pursuit or a deep value? That three letter word
is a skeleton key for unlocking your self awareness, and
self awareness is at the root of self mastery. Hey everyone,
(00:28):
and I'm so excited because we're going to be adding
a really special offering onto the back of my solo
episodes on Fridays. It's my short daily series on Calm,
the Daily j And let me tell you, it's unlike
anything else I'm doing. It's part storytelling, part mindfulness with
a wide range of unique actionable insights, and it's also
the only place you can meditate with me each and
(00:50):
every day. I absolutely love all the wisdom was sharing,
all the lives were changing, and whether you want to
improve your mindset, your habits, or your relationships, whether you
on to work on developing more focus, presence or equanimity,
building a daily Jay routine just seven minutes every day
can make a huge impact, So make sure to check
out the session at the end of the podcast, and
(01:12):
then subscribe to Calm for your daily dose of The
Daily J Go tocalm dot com, forward slash J for
forty percent off your membership today. This week we're tackling
the topic of mindset and how to approach life with focus, perspective,
and positivity. Of course, if you want to listen to
the Daily JA every day, you have to subscribe to
cam so go tocalm dot com, forward slash J for
(01:35):
forty percent off your membership today. Hey everyone, I'm so
excited to be speaking with you today about six ways
to monk switch your mind for growth and resilience. There
has been a lot of research involving monks that shows
how monks are really masters of the mind. I detail
some of it in my books Think Like a Monk.
(01:55):
For example, several years ago, a monk named yonge minga pachet,
traveled from Nepal to a research facility in Wisconsin so
the scientists there could observe his brain activity while he meditated.
They put a device that looked like a shower cap
on him and fixed hundreds of senses to his skull,
(02:17):
and they had him cycle in and out of meditative
states on Q. Now, if you've ever tried to meditate,
you sit down and what happens to second you try
to clear your head, your mind floods with thoughts. Right.
It takes most of us at least five to ten
minutes to settle down mentally and get into that meditative
space if we're lucky. So knowing this, the researchers in
(02:41):
Wisconsin were astonished by what they saw, which is that
whenever they gave them monk the signal to start a
meditation cycle, his brain immediately went into meditation mode. It
was like flipping a switch. They had never seen anything
like it. He was able to switch in an out
of meditation mode again and again, just like that. And
(03:04):
here's the thing that's important to understand. This monk wasn't special,
no offense to him. What I mean by that was
that he wasn't following some exclusive special training program. All
he was doing was he was living the regular life
of a monk. These same scientists, along with others, have
run many exhaustive detailed studies on long time monks and
(03:28):
other season meditators, and they all show the same types
of results. An astonishing degree of mental control, whether in
the form of focus, compassion, and even the brain indicators
for happiness. Monks spend so much time training their minds
that when challenges arise, whether it's dealing with external challenges
(03:49):
like what we're all experiencing now or internal ones like
struggling with ego, that's when their training kicks in. Like
younger Mingo Rimpoche, we can learn and to monks switch
our minds so that the practices we've trained automatically kick
in in times of stress and struggle. Today, I'm going
to share with you six ways to monks switch your
(04:11):
mind so you can feel more resilient and experience a
greater sense of meaning and purpose, especially in the face
of massive challenges. Now, at the monastery, monks have what
is mostly a controlled, immersive environment for their training. And
so you're probably thinking, but Jay, I'm not a monk,
and I don't want to be a monk, So how
(04:33):
can this apply to me? This time we're in can
be your monastery or your aushroom, And in a few
minutes I'll talk about some ways you can actually create
more peace in your own surroundings. So, if you're ready,
here we go. Now, some of you know I'm massively
into movies. I would have referred to one movie. Now
I'm going to bring in another. I especially love Christopher
(04:55):
Nolan movies, and his movie Memento is one of my favorites.
If you're not seeing the movie, it's about a man
who has a very specific type of amnesia, a brain
condition where he can no longer make new memories, and
the story is told starting with the ending, then working backwards. Now,
since that movie has a neuroscience theme and I'm about
(05:15):
to delve into some neuroscience I thought I'd do it
Memento style. We're going to start at the end with
where you want to end up and work backwards to
how you get there. For most of us, it relates
to resilience. We want to feel that no matter what happens,
we can handle it, that we have the tools to
deal effectively with whatever life throws at us. That's our target. Now.
(05:39):
That might be individually, and it also might be from
a relationship perspective or from an organizational perspective. You're an
entrepreneur or a family person, whatever type of resilience you're
focused on creating. Here's the thing. In order to change
your external experiences in life, you have to master your
internal experiences first. There are indisputable facts about what's going
(06:03):
on around us right now in the outside world, but
on the inside, we're all experiencing it differently. Some of
us are filled with fear and anxiety, while others are
finding a way to navigate it with more equantimity and
even make progress in their lives or their organizations or relationships.
Some couples are leaning in and becoming more of a team.
(06:23):
Some individuals are using this as a growth opportunity. Some
companies are creating new service lines. Take zok Doc, an
online service for booking in personal medical appointments. The company
had a massive amount of a momentum coming into twenty twenty,
but by the end of March, they saw bookings decline
anywhere from fifty to ninety percent. Co founder Oliver Kara's
(06:47):
was advised to layoff staff and lay low for the duration,
as many companies have done, yet zok Dog did the opposite.
They expanded instead of trying to weather the storm. Karas
says he saw an opportunity to build windmills instead of
initiating layoffs. The company tasks their staff with creating and
implementing a telehealth platform so patients could get remote care
(07:12):
from their doctors. It was a massive effort, But within
two months the company had done the impossible. They pulled
off a successful launch of a brand new telehealth platform that,
under other circumstances, Karas says, would have taken them two
years to create an introduce. One of the greatest monks
which is out there is to train yourself to equate change,
(07:35):
especially change that seems negative, with opportunity. Monk David stendel
Ross talks about something he calls grateful living, which is
a way of cultivating trust in life and in all
that's happening in the external world, no matter how it feels.
As stendel Ross says, when you receive every moment as
(07:56):
a gift, you ask yourself, what's the opportunity in this moment?
And that's exactly what zogdog dig. And that's what you
can learn to do to find the opportunities that are
present in these otherwise challenging moments. But I'm sure you
know countless other examples of organizations and people who do
in the opposite. They're struggling, and that's underscertnable. I want
(08:19):
to acknowledge that this really isn't an exceptional time for
us all and most of us are experiencing some combination
of personal loss and financial loss or stress that's very real. Yet,
as doctor Andrew Huberman says, part of what determines whether
we struggle or find a way to thrive depends largely
on how we frame stress. Hooberman is a professor in
(08:41):
the Department of Neurobiology at Stanford University who studies, among
other things, brain plasticity, or our brain's ability to learn
and progress. He says, perhaps the biggest determined of how
we will weather storms, from the pandemic down to everyday
stresses is whether we run from our fears, whether we freeze,
(09:02):
or whether we move towards what we're afraid of. In fact, neurologically,
it's only really in conditions of discomfort that we can
train our brains to learn to thrive from stress and
become more resilient. So we have our goal now to
uncover how we get there, along with how ancient wisdom
(09:22):
figures into the equation. Let's take a step backwards and
look at some of doctor Huberman's research on neuroplasticity. It
used to be that we thought that once you hit
about your mid twenties, your brain couldn't change much. You
can't teach an old dog or even thirty five year
old new tricks right. But thankfully, modern research shows that's
(09:43):
just not true. In fact, in some ways, we can
actually become better at learning difficult things and performing at
the leading edge of our ability, especially if we understand
how our brains work, and fortunately, according to neuro research,
there's a pretty predictable formula for it. The first part
(10:04):
of the formula involves three things. These are the three
elements you need to be able to learn to raise
your level of performance. First, you need clear intention and direction.
The second thing you need is intense focus, and the
third thing you need is a strong motivation. The next
step in the formula for learning and growth is that
(10:27):
you need to apply direction, focus, and motivation continuously for
an extended period of time. Think about it. If you
lose your direction, you'll go off course. If you lose focus,
you'll be ineffective, and if you lose motivation, you'll disconnect
from the emotion that was acting like a propeller pushing
you forward. Imagine a marathon runner during all those days
(10:50):
and miles they log when they're training. If they lose
sight of their direction, they won't train properly. If they
lose sight of their focus, they can get distracted by
all the other things they'd rather be doing, like hanging
out with friends and eating pizza instead of running fifteen
miles and the pouring rain. And if they lose their
motivation when they're out on the road or the track,
(11:13):
they won't have the heart to keep going. So you
need to be invoking all three over and over again,
just like that runner training day after day to run
that marathon. And there's another part of the equation. The
progress you make doesn't reshape your brain and create actual
learning or skills. You can repeat until another element is added,
(11:38):
and that element is periods of deep sleep or rest.
So the direction, focus, motivation sustained along with deep rest.
That's the formula for how we can reshape our brains.
And it explains why Yonge Mingo Rimpoche showed those incredible
results in Wisconsin, because that formula is essentially how a
(12:00):
monk lives every day of their life in focused, directed,
intense effort followed by periods of rest. Fortunately, as Huberman's
research shows, you don't have to live like a monk
to change your brain. You do, however, have to understand
how to overcome some neurochemical hurdles. In that first part
(12:21):
of the equation direction focus and motivation, your brain is
releasing two main neurochemicals to assist with the performance and
learning processes. Those are acetal coolin, which will help to
make those actual changes to your brain when you rest,
and nora adrenaline. The noor adrenaline, as you might guess
from the adrenaline part, gets you amped up. Think about
(12:44):
how you feel when you're about to compete, or about
to give a presentation, or about to sit down to
an intense work session. You might feel anxious, or excited
or fidgety. Many of us interpret these feelings as negative,
but as Huberman points out, some amount of agitation or
even a feeling of frustration is normal to the process
(13:05):
of getting ready to do something that's at the edge
of your performance zone. It's what the initial stages of
growth feel like. But many of us let these feelings
of agitation sidetrack us. We can't get focused, we say
in actuality. Part of the nora adrenalis's role is to
help you get focused. So instead of allowing yourself to
(13:28):
click over to Twitter or text a friend, you need
to train yourself to just get started in a few minutes.
The agitation will pass as you get into the next
phase of the process, which is the sustained effort portion.
So that's where that stress response comes in. When you
feel that stress of agitation, that's a time to monk
(13:48):
switch your mind. When you feel that anxiety, your hands
maybe go a bit cold, or you get fidgety. Tell
yourself again and again, I'm about to learn or I'm
about to grow. Over time, those body signals will cue
those thoughts automatically. As Stanford researcher and stress expert Kelly
(14:09):
McGonagall says, when you choose to view your stress responses helpful,
you create the biology of courage. How powerful is that? Literally,
when you choose to see stress as useful. Now, remember,
once we step over that stress threshold and start learning
or performing. We're in our presentation or our high stakes meeting,
(14:31):
we're working on writing our book, or we're running that marathon.
We have to sustain the effort. And this is where
another neurochemical you're probably familiar with, kicks in dopamine. Little
hints of dopamine signal us that, as humanman says, we're
on the right path, and that's what draws us forward. Otherwise,
(14:53):
our brains would become too saturated with nora adrenaline, and
eventually it would make us give up because we'd be
worn out. Occasional dopamine hits actually balance the no adrenaline
by giving us a chemical and emotional thumbs up, and
that keeps us going. That's why marathoners will tell themselves
just make it to the next water station, or to
(15:13):
the next intersection, or it's why people tell you, instead
of focusing on writing an entire business plan, to chunk
it down into smaller pieces and just focus on completing
one at a time, then giving yourself a mental high five.
Those smaller milestones give us a boost of dopamine when
we achieve them. There are other ways to get dopamine
hits as well. Research from Huberman's lab shows that things
(15:37):
like laughter, a sense of group cohesiveness, a feeling of
being supported, or a sense of playfulness among others, gives
us that dopaman that sustains our effort. So now let's
backstep again and I'll show you how a monk would
approach that formula for growth, learning and resilience. The first
element was a clear intentional goal. For monks, our GPS
(15:59):
that points us in the right direction is our value system.
We looked to our values to direct us. So our
intention or our goal would link to our values. For example,
I tell a story in my book of a time
when I was walking with my teacher and we came
across a monk who was an incredibly accomplished scholar. I
was so impressed with how many verses and passages from
(16:20):
the ancient texts he had memorized. I turned to my
teacher and said, I want to do that too, And
he asked me do you want to do that because
you want to be known as someone who did that
or because you want to actually put in the hard
work of doing it. So for monks, what we might
have a goal in mind, say memorizing books or verses,
(16:42):
we would link our goal to a deep values such
as learning, rather than a surface pursuit such as ego,
did you catch the monks? Suits there? It was a
bit hidden the monks, which I learned to train. It
was constantly asking myself why. Every time I wanted something,
I would trace the why Is it because of a
societal expectation or ego pursuit? Or a deep value. That
(17:06):
three letter word is a skeleton key for unlocking your
self awareness, and self awareness is at the root of
self mastery. So train yourself to ask why. For a week.
Every time you want something, ask yourself why, even if
it's just a type of food, Where does that want
come from? If you do this with regularity, you'll start
(17:27):
to do it automatically, and the practice will help you
connect with value directed goals. The second component in the
learning formula is focused. How many of us have sat
down at our computer with the intention of doing something
We're finally going to start that course, and then five
minutes later when on Instagram or texting a friend to
(17:48):
see what they're up to. Without the ability to bring
your focus fully to a task and sustain it, you
will not make progress. There are several ways a monk
cultivates focus, one of which is through mindfulness. You can
think of mindfulness simply as noticing what is in the
present moment without judgment. Here's a practice you can use
(18:11):
to train that. Simply sit in a comfortable position, breathing
in deeply and then out and in again and now,
instead of trying to totally clear your mind, just notice
what comes up, acknowledge it, release it, like, Okay, I
notice some anxiety around work. Okay, I acknowledge you anxiety. Now,
(18:35):
I realize you, and I bring my mind back to
the present moment. If it comes back, acknowledge and release
it again. There's no need to get upset at anything
that arises. The goal is to not have an empty mind.
It's to be where you are practicing, noticing and releasing
the monks which you're training. Here is that when you
sit down to start that course, when the inevitable distractions arise,
(18:59):
you can simply notice them and release them, coming back
to focus on your project. Essayist and novelist Pico Aya
said in an Age of Distraction, nothing can feel more
luxurious than paying attention. And I love that quote because
that's the way we can hack our focus, but reframing
(19:21):
it not as something that's hard, but as a treat,
as a luxury, as he says it. Now. The third
component is motivation. As I write in my book, According
to a Hindu philosopher named Tucker, there are four fundamental motivations. Fear, desire, duty,
and love. Everything we do sits in one of these
(19:42):
four motivations. However, a monk would say as Tucker that
fear is not sustainable over the long term. Your anxiety
may motivate you now, but it's going to exhaust your
body in your mind. Also, fear limits your access to
creative thinking and decisive creative solutions. And when we are
motivated by desire for personal gratification, we may be happy
(20:05):
when we first get that new car or whatever it is,
but we all know that feeling quickly wears off and
will need more to achieve the same pleasure. However, when
we're motivated by duty and love, these motivations create meaning.
Love is the ultimate motivation and the ultimate why. And
as American football coach Bill Walsh once said, if your
(20:28):
why is strong enough, you will figure out how. So
when you're thinking about what you want to do, you
want to align your motivation with duty such as getting
a better job so you can support your family, or
love such as helping others, or the simple love of
learning and improving. When they opted to create a telehealth platform,
(20:49):
zoc Doc had the strongest why. Of course, the company
wanted to remain profitable, but more than that, they wanted
to protect their staff and their jobs. They wanted to
support the medical providers who suddenly couldn't see patients in person,
and they wanted to support people who are abruptly cut
off from medical support during an international health crisis. When
(21:11):
dot created their new platform, they even offered it for
free to doctors who are not ZOC doc providers. See
here's the single most important thing I'm going to tell
you today. Service is the ultimate hack. When you tie
your work or your goals to love and service of others.
It's the most powerful way to game your brain to
(21:34):
strive and grow because service not only feels good, it
also boosts our self esteem and creates connection with others.
And service is a self reinforcing motivation. We want to
keep working and to keep serving because we get so
much satisfaction from it, and so we want to keep
expending that effort. Service has its own built in reward system.
(21:57):
For monks, our lives revolved around two distinct and intense
areas of focus, the self and the not self. We'd
spend the first half of our days meditating, learning classes,
otherwise training and mastering ourselves. The rest of the day
we would spend in service of others. Service was our
highest purpose for me. It still is, it motivates me deeply,
(22:21):
So that's another monk switch. Whenever possible, figure out how
to switch your work from total focus on self to service.
Whether it's service or your family, your community, or your company.
It will help you feel motivated, directed, energized, and like
you can make a real impact even when it feels
as if everything is around you is crushing down. Remember
(22:41):
this emotion will follow action, even if at first you're
feeling down and defeated, if you're not sure how you're
going to move forward. If you can use these steps
to just get going, just start learning, just start growing,
just start serving the positive emotions, the sense of motivation,
of accomplishment, of connects of satisfaction will follow. Now here's
(23:04):
the last back step. I promise that I'd give you
a monk tip on bringing some of the ushroom like
peace to your everyday training grounds. You want to make
your environment supportive of your development, so you want to
remove or limit as much as possible the things that
are putting you in an anxious, reactive straight rather than
a calm, proactive state. One of the easiest ways to
(23:26):
do this is to pay attention to the three essays.
The sights sounds and smells in your environment. Let's look
at what we see. How do most of us start
and end our day. Not with the kiss or a
kind word for a partner, or even brushing our teeth,
it's checking our phones. Data from Assurian says that the
(23:47):
average American checks their phone ninety six times a day.
It's usually to check social media or our email. And
how do we feel after we do that? Agitated, negative, lonely,
frustrated monk train would be much more difficult if monks
had smartphones, trust me. So, one thing you can do
is to try and control what you see at least
as much as possible, at least first thing in the morning,
(24:09):
and that includes minimizing your interaction with your smartphone. So
you maybe print a beautiful image or motivational quote that
you put next to your workstation or your bedside table.
You may scribble it down on a post it note.
You may look outdoors. That's one of the reasons monks
are so tidy and ushrooms and monasteries are typically in
natural settings. We support the cultivation of internal beauty by
(24:32):
creating and enjoying external beauty. When it comes to smells, sense,
evoke emotion. In fact, they're the most powerful link to memory.
That's why you remember someone's cologne or perfume, the smell
of cut grass or linen hung out to dry. Because
sense have such strong triggers, you want to try and
expose yourself to sense you enjoy or that calm you
(24:54):
or energize you as needed. Lavender, eucalyptus and sandalwood three,
or my favorite the final s is sounds when I
was living in bustling New York City are usually end
of my day's exhausted and maybe even a little cranky.
Now that I'm in LA which is a little more chill,
it's a different story. Later I learned about something called
(25:14):
cognitive load, which you can sort of think of as
programs running in the background on your computer that you
don't actually need to be open, but are using up resources.
Except it's happening in your brain. Right. So now I
make a point to again, as much as possible, control
the sounds around me. You can't have the news on
the background and wonder why you feel negative. You can't
(25:35):
have people talking all day and wonder why you can't
find stillness. Now, when I have to set an alarm,
I set it to soothing sounds instead of a blaring
sound that will startle me. Try to cut down on
any extraneous or unpleasant noise so you can have access
to more of your brain's energy. So, now that we've
arrived at the beginning, here's your assignment in addition to
(25:58):
training your monks, which is, I want you to make
a list of fifteen opportunities that are present for you
right now. Now. Fifteen might seem like a lot, and
it is, but that's the point to make you stretch
and get creative with how you're viewing this current time.
From those opportunities, start with just one goal you want
to pursue that will get you closer to that skilled, resilient,
(26:22):
powerful version of yourself. You now have a science and
monk tested formula for how to make it happen. Thank
you so much for listening. I hope you have an
amazing day and I hope to meet you soon. Today's
(26:46):
mission rewired the brain to focus on the positive. Today's
tool self talk. The next seven minutes are about you
and reframing or inner monologue. I'm Ja Shetty. Welcome to
the Daily j It's nearly impossible to reframe if we're
(27:10):
rushing ahead. So let's take a moment to slow down
and get centered with three deep breaths, breathing in and out,
in feeling the stomach expand and out, releasing any tension,
(27:38):
in focusing on the breath and out, arriving here in
the present, let's dive in. Half a century ago, the
conventional wisdom said that the adult brain couldn't change. But
(28:01):
that was half a century ago when TikTok was just
the sound of your clock in the hall. Scientists have
since discovered that our brains are never done growing and reorganizing.
They're never done rewiring. It's called neuroplasticity, and it's led
to some major medical breakthroughs, but it also has huge
(28:25):
implications on our daily lives. Believe it or not, we
all have significant influence over how our brains continue to develop.
To quote an eminent neuropsychologist called Rick Hanson, the details
are complex, but the key point is simple. How you
(28:45):
use your mind changes your brain for better or worse.
Whatever we do consistently becomes an unconscious mental habit, like
leaning into gratitude or dwelling on our fears. The challenges
the brain is actually biased toward negativity, so it's really
(29:06):
important to take intentional steps towards changing it for the better. Okay,
so how do we do that? While there's emerging evidence
that self talk is an agent of neuroplasticity, when you
shift your thinking from negative to positive and you do
it often enough, you'll move your brain in the right direction.
(29:31):
And self talk is an incredible tool to shift your thinking.
Self talk both reveals and then affects how you view
yourself with compassion or criticism. But today I want to
discuss your self talk in relation to feelings and emotions.
(29:51):
Let's take the example of being tired. Happens to all
of us right when you're in the middle of your day,
but you will ready fel exhausted. In that moment, you
could say two different things to yourself. You could say,
I'm so drained, why don't I have any energy? I
can't believe I still have all this stuff to do
(30:14):
to so many hours before I can relax. Or I'm
going to make sure I get to bed early tonight
and get a good night's sleep only a few more
hours to go. I could do this Basically, do you
complain or do you make a plan with a positive outcome. Frustration, hunger, discomfort,
(30:37):
it doesn't matter. Any feeling or emotion can be met
with a complaint about the problem, or it can be
reframed to focus on the solution. Of course, it might
take some work to fight back on negative impulses and
approach self talk constructively, but ultimately that process of reframing
(30:58):
will rewire your brain for positivity and you'll feel better
in the moment too. Now, how many of you want
some more good news? Practicing Meditation has also been shown
to boost the brain, which is yet another reason we
close with the moment of stillness. So get comfortable wherever
(31:21):
you are, settling into your body, seeing if you can
find a position that brings you greater ease. Close your
eyes if you're able to, no worries. If not, just
(31:43):
try getting as present as possible. And now, let's tune
in to the breath, the pure flow of air in
and out. Today. The breath can be your home base.
(32:14):
Try holding your attention here, bringing your focus back. If
you ever wonder if your mind gets caught up in
any thoughts, return to the breath. If your mind gets
(32:37):
caught up in any negative thoughts, See if you can
reframe them in a positive light, and then return to
the breath. We're not judging those negative thoughts. They're natural
(32:58):
and we want to accept them. But let's see if
we can move to a more positive place. And now
let's open this up by reflecting on feelings or emotions
that we tend to complain about. For me, it's when
(33:21):
I feel overworked. Now, you may notice that there's often
a pattern to your negativity, So how can you reframe
things to break that pattern? How else could you improve
(33:42):
yourself talk to rewire your brain. Change might not happen overnight,
but there's no rush as long as you're heading in
the right direction. If this session helped you reframe your
thoughts to day, think about who you could share it
(34:05):
with to help them with theirs. Thank you so much
for joining me today. I'm so grateful your on this
journey with me, and I'll see you again tomorrow.
Host
Jay Shetty
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