August 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Did anyone ever teach you about money when you were younger?
What’s one money mistake you made in your 20s?
Today, Jay shares the financial lessons he wishes he knew in his twenties. Insights that don’t just change how you handle money, but how you understand it. Jay reveals that most people aren’t actually bad with money, they were simply never taught how to build a healthy, secure relationship with it.
Jay explains how these dynamics affect our financial habits, emphasizing that real financial security begins with mindset and choices, not income. From challenging inherited money beliefs to addressing debt with clarity rather than fear, this episode offers a roadmap to move from financial stress to financial stability.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Shift from Avoiding Money to Owning It
How to Build a Secure Relationship with Money
How to Invest in Knowledge Before Assets
How to Break Free from Financial Programming
How to Simplify Your Finances When Overwhelmed
Wealth isn’t about looking rich, it’s about living with intention, respecting yourself, and aligning your money with purpose.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:01 Is It Too Late to Learn Financial Literacy?
04:18 Myth: Money is the Root of All Evil
05:31 #1: It's About Good Decisions, Not Income
08:20 #2: You Can't Save What You Don't Have
11:26 #3: Buying More Won’t Build Wealth
17:14 #4: Don't Avoid Debt Education
18:25 #5: You're Not Lazy You’re Just Overwhelmed
19:56 #6: Where Did You Get Your Money Beliefs?
23:52 #7: Generosity Multiplies Wealth
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're not bad with money, you were just never taught
how to use it. You were taught how to earn it,
not how to grow it. You were taught how to
spend it, but not how to invest it. You were
taught to chase it, not how to make it work
for you. You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving.
(00:25):
And it's not your fault. You didn't know, but it's
your power to learn now. The number one health and
wellness podcast, Jay Setty Jay Shetty shet Hey, everyone, welcome
back to On Purpose. I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm so
deeply grateful that you tuned in. I hope that you've
(00:47):
subscribed so that you never miss an episode, and make
sure you keep tagging me on Instagram and TikTok and
all your platforms. I love seeing the clips and the
parts that resonate with you, and I love the community
we're building now. Today's episode is about something that I
believe is so important. It's everything I wish I knew
(01:08):
about money in my twenties. Now, whether you're in your twenties, thirties, forties,
or fifties, this episode still applies because I believe that
financial literacy is something we all learn far too late.
It's something that some of us never learn at all.
I'm sure you've had some challenges with this, whether it's
(01:30):
being credit card payments, whether it's been debt, whether it's
been understanding how to make money or grow money, whether
it's understanding do I need a side hustle, how many
streams of income do I have? Do I really know
where I'm spending my money? Do I know where I'm
wasting my money? And chances are, if you've turned up here,
(01:50):
there's a part of you that's also avoided money. I'm
guessing there's a part of you that doesn't like looking
at your bank statement. There's a part of you that
maybe wants to put it away. There's a part of
you that doesn't check how much you've saved because you're scared.
You're scared to look at the number. It's hard to face.
And here's what I want to start by telling you
(02:11):
it's not your fault. You never taught how to do it.
It's not something you should know how to do. I
think we all feel like we grow up and all
of a sudden, we're paying rent, we're paying taxes, We've
got to figure out what a mortgage is. We have
no idea how that works. Everything has interest, and all
of a sudden you grow up and you go, well,
wait a minute, No one taught me this in school.
Even if you studied economics at school, you didn't know
(02:34):
how real world economy worked. Even if you studied finance
at university, you didn't necessarily know how to start and
run a business. It doesn't work that way. So I
want you to take the pressure off, and I want
this to be the start of you changing your money mindset.
I want this to be the beginning of transforming your
(02:55):
relationship with money. I think that's the main thing I
want to focus on here. Currently, you have an avoidant
relationship with money. There are three types of attachment styles
in love, secure, anxious, and avoidant, and I believe that
those three attachment styles are also our attachment styles with money.
(03:19):
We either feel secure talking about money and what it is,
We feel anxious talking about money and how mhich we make,
save and spend, or we avoid it all together. Which
one are you? If I asked you right now, do
you feel secure talking about money? Listening about money, looking
at your bank statements, looking at your budgeting and saving.
(03:41):
Do you feel anxious so you might do those things,
But actually there's this underlying anxiety. I don't have enough.
I'm not gonna have enough. I don't like all of this.
This is stressful. And then there's avoidance. I don't look
at it at all. I have no idea. We want
to transform our relationship with money to be secure. I'm
not saying we have to be overly confident. I'm not
(04:02):
saying you have to become a millionaire. I'm not saying
that you've got to have an abundance mindset. I just
want you to feel safe and secure talking about money,
hearing about money, and learning about money. We've all been
taught this myth. I'm sure you've heard it before. Money
is the root of all evil. You know what's really
(04:22):
interesting about that when you actually check the actual reference.
The actual quote is the love of money is the
root of all evil. Notice how different that is. It's
not that money is the root of all evil. It's
the love of money that's the root of all evil.
(04:43):
It's the obsession, it's the last it's the greed after
it that's the root of all evil. But money itself
is energy. Money is a resource. Money is a universal power.
Money's a currence. But when we get lost in this
belief that it's bad, it's negative, our relationship with it
(05:06):
becomes anxious and avoidant. When we feel it's unhealthy, we're
not being told to not master our money, which is
being told not to fall in love with it and
think it's the be all and end all of everything.
That's the beginning of transforming our relationship from avoidant to
anxious to secure. Let's dive in number one. You don't
(05:28):
have an income problem, you have a decision problem. Most
twenty year olds think they'll be better with money once
they can earn more. I'm sure you've said this as well.
When I have more money, I'll be better at dealing
with it. Right now, I don't have enough to even
think about it. But science shows that your sense of control,
(05:51):
not your salary, predicts your financial wellbeing. People with an
internal locus of control who belie leave they influence their
outcomes are more likely to budget, save, and bounce back
from financial stress. One of my favorite quotes from Jim
Rohan is he said, formal education will make you a living.
(06:14):
Self education will make you a fortune. But here's the takeaway.
The moment you take responsibility for your financial habits, even
if you're broke, is the moment you start building wealth.
Here's an action list three money related decisions you can
make today, even if your income is low. You could
(06:38):
set up a free budgeting app. You could cancel one
unnecessary subscription. You could transfer five pounds to savings or
five dollars even if it feels small. Don't avoid talking
about money. Don't avoid talking to people about money. Don't
act broke to stay relatable. Don't play so small so
(07:03):
no one feels uncomfortable. Don't pretend you don't care about
wealth when you're struggling without it. Don't shame ambition, then
envy the results. Don't wait to get rich before learning
how to manage it. Don't hide your financial goals. Speak
them like they already belong to you. Don't stay silent
(07:27):
about money and expect your relationship with it to improve.
It's like not talking to your partner and wanting to
stay in love. Imagine if you never talked about love,
you never talked about your relationship, you never talked about
connection or intimacy. How good would your relationship be? How
(07:48):
healthy would it be? People who believe that they can
control their destiny, that they can change their reality, that
they take control of their financial habits, will see change.
I want you to recognize that you won't feel better
about your financial situation because you avoid looking at your
(08:08):
bank statement. You'll only feel better about your financial situation
when you actually turn towards it. Number two, you won't
save what you don't see. This is a psychological principle.
We spend what we mentally label as available. If your
paycheck hits your account and sits there, your brain sees
(08:31):
it as spendable. This is why automation and separation are
more powerful than discipline. We think, oh, I'll be disciplined
this month, I'll spend less. But no. If there's no
automation and separation of how that money is divided, you
will break your discipline. Mental accounting helps reduce friction between
(08:55):
what you want and what you do. There's an amazing
quote I love. It says, do not save what is
left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
That's from Warren Buffett. One of my favorite quotes. Don't
save what is left after spending, but spend what is
(09:16):
left after saving. You want to create an automatic save,
and then spend what is left over. You don't want
to be in a position where you just have this
amount in your current account and you're thinking, Okay, I'm
going to try and save some of it this month,
and then at the end of the month you're looking
at it and you're back at zero. You've got to
remember this. Your brain is lazy, but programmable. Make savings invisible.
(09:43):
Open a second account today. Automate ten percent, twenty percent,
whatever you can do of every paycheck, even if it's
ten dollars. To go straight there and label it freedom fund.
Label it your freedom fund, give it a name, give
it something exciting. Don't just call it savings, because even
the word savings sometimes can feel boring and kind of,
(10:04):
you know, unenthusing, or it can feel scary to look
at a saving as a coward. Not much in it,
but a freedom fund. Whatever inspires you. Make it automated
and make it separated. Don't just make money, learn to
keep it. Don't spend to look rich, save to stay free.
(10:25):
Don't let every paycheck pass through you like you don't matter.
Don't confuse lifestyle with wealth. Don't buy comfort now and
borrow stress later. Don't think saving is boring. It's the
most rebellious thing in a world that wants you broke.
(10:47):
Don't wait until you make more, save now so future
you has options. Don't treat saving like a punishment. Treat
it like self respect. A lot of people that I've
spoken to finance experts as well. We'll talk about the
dangers of how everyone online will tell you invest invest invest.
(11:09):
You may end up losing a bunch of money on crypto.
You may end up losing a bunch of money on NFTs.
You don't need to do any of those get rich
quick schemes, or you need to focus on is building
your future. Number three. Buying things won't make you rich,
but learning about them actually might. Most people think money
(11:31):
is for spending, not studying, but impulsive buying triggers dopamine
and short term pleasure, while financial literacy builds long term gain.
Study show those with higher financial literacy experience lower anxiety,
more saving, and better life outcomes. Warren Buffett said, the
(11:53):
more you learn, the more you earn. Money grows when
your brain grows first talking about investing. Spend ten minutes
today reading about a financial concept compound interest, inflation, investing
swap one scroll for one financial insight. Investing in yourself
(12:15):
and your knowledge is a far better investment at the
beginning of your wealth journey than any other asset. I
promise you that buying things won't make you rich. Impressing
people won't build your net worth. Wearing your salary won't
grow your savings. Spending like your wealthy won't make you wealthy.
(12:39):
Every time you buy to feel better, you're selling off
your future piece. You don't need more stuff, you need
more strategy. The goal isn't to look rich. The goal
is to stop worrying about money. Now. I'm not saying
I don't want you to treat yourself. I'm not saying
that I like things too. I don't think there's anything
(13:02):
wrong with that. You just don't want it to be imbalanced.
You don't want it to be that you're stressed every
time you buy something. I was talking to a friend
about this. He didn't go to university. He found something
that he loved early on in life and started making
a living. Now, in the beginning, it didn't make him
loads of money, but he learned very quickly how to
(13:26):
not get wrapped up in building a lifestyle and actually
how to invest it and learn about it. And that's
the point I really want to bring about here. It's
not just investing before investing. There's a learning piece. Okay,
is it property? Is it compound? Is it this? Is
it borrowing? It's figuring that out. And I think a
lot of people today will be like, Hey, invest in
this because this is the next big thing. Hey invest
(13:47):
in this because this is the next big hit. And
the challenge with that is you do something with very
low learning, usually it's a very big investment. I've got
another friend who knew nothing about crypto, put practically fifty
percent of his life saving into it, and then the
next week when crypto dropped, he took everything out because
he'd lost ten K and got worried about it. And
then the next week it all went up again, and
(14:09):
then he'd lost all of it. And it was just
this mess of getting involved in things and investing in
things that you have very little insight over. At the
same time, I've got friends who got great jobs out
of university, but their lifestyle changed so much that their
lifestyle was competing with their income. Right when your lifestyle
(14:29):
is competing with your income, the pressure that we experience
that makes it extremely hard to turn that into future value.
A lot of the times we can look at people
and think that they're spending lavishly, but we're looking at
a number, not as a percentage. I would start looking
at your life as a percentage of how much you
(14:50):
spend on your lifestyle versus how much you spend on
your future. It's not about the amount someone could spend
ten thousand on a wedding. Someone could spend fifty thousand
on a wedding. Someone could spend a million or on
a wedding. It's not about the amount they spend. It's
the percentage of their income that matters about how they spend.
(15:11):
And so stop looking at numbers at face value. Start
looking at your life as a percentage of what you're
walking home with after tax and figuring out how that
feels for you. I think that before and after tax
is a whole conversation in and of itself. So many
of us look at how much we make as a
revenue standpoint, or as an income standpoint, and not looking
(15:31):
at what does that look like after tax? What does
that look like after rent? What does that look like
after my car bill? Right? I see so many people
with really great, amazing cars. That is their entire salary
is the amount that car is worth, and all of
a sudden, when you start looking at those payments monthly,
it starts getting really painful. Don't ignore the reality of
(15:54):
trying to present your lifestyle in a certain way. I've
also find it to be what's known the golden handcuffs.
A lot of people get so used to their lifestyle
that they can't quit a job they hate. So you
actually hate what you're doing, but you can't stop doing
it because it pays for the lifestyle you want. The
(16:15):
question you have to ask yourself is do I want
to do something I hate for the rest of my
life to pay for things? And it's okay if you do.
If the answer is yes, that's fine. But oftentimes we
get an opportunity to do something closer to our heart,
but we don't want to take it because we'd make less.
In my own life, I went through that. I had
a stable job as a consultant. I was doing okay, okay,
(16:37):
being very important as part of it, and I wasn't
doing well, and I wasn't doing badly. I was doing
just fine, and I gave that up to pursue my passion,
and I'm so grateful for that, because I am so
thankful that I get to do what I love today.
But I had to take off the golden handcuffs. I
had a safe, stable career lined up, but I was
(16:59):
willing to make less. I was willing to make nothing
at all in the beginning to get it going, and
I'm grateful that I was able to put those down.
So don't be tied by the golden handcuffs. I have
so much more to share with you, but we're just
going to take a short break for our sponsors and
I'll be right back. Hey, it's Jay Sheddy and I'm
so excited to share. We're launching a brand new subscription
(17:22):
on Apple Podcasts. That means if you want more on purpose,
more inspiration, more tools, more depth, you now have the
option to subscribe and unlock bonus content from our incredible guests.
And don't worry, the main show is still free for everyone.
But if you're someone who wants to go even deeper
and support the show, this is for you. Just hit
(17:44):
Try free on Apple Podcasts and join our growing community
of purpose driven listeners. I can't wait for you to
check it out. Okay, we're back. Let's dive right back
in step number four. Debt isn't evil, but ignorance is.
Most twenty somethings are taught that all debt is bad.
(18:07):
It's not. What's dangerous is not understanding how it works
and what type of debt you're getting into. We avoid
debt education out of fear. Yet the avoidance is what
leads to mistakes. Psychology shows that we react more strongly
to losses than gains, so we emotionally shut down around debt.
(18:30):
One of my favorite quotes is, if you don't find
a way to make money while you sleep, you will
work until you die. That's Warren Buffer as well. So
the takeaway is you can't beat a system you don't understand.
Action point for you learn the basics APR, credit score, interest.
Pick one debt could be your student loan, credit card,
(18:53):
and break down how it actually works. Then make a plan.
Do one thing at a time. Don't just look at
debt as this one big bubble. Student loan is different
to credit card debt. Go and understand it deeply and
see what support there is out there as well. Number five,
you're not lazy, you're overwhelmed. We blame ourselves for being
(19:15):
bad with money, but often it's not laziness. It's too
many small, unresolved financial decisions. Training willpower. Science shows that
decision fatigue leads to avoidance, impulsive spending, and missed opportunities. P. T.
Barnum famously said money is a terrible master, but an
(19:37):
excellent servant. Here's the takeaway. Simplify before you scale. What
does that look like in action? Pick one financial goal
for the next thirty days. Just one, and track only that.
No pressure to fix everything at once. And remember, you're
(19:58):
not bad with money. You were just never taught how
to use it. You were taught how to earn it,
not how to grow it. You were taught how to
spend it, but not how to invest it. You were
taught to chase it, not how to make it work
for you. You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving.
(20:23):
You learned to feel guilty when you had money and
ashamed when you didn't. You inherited stress, not strategy. And
it's not your fault you didn't know, but it's your
power to learn now. Number six, Your money beliefs aren't yours.
(20:44):
They're inherited. This is from a psych principle of cognitive
scripts and money archetypes by Brad Klonts. What we don't
realize is we grow up absorbing money messages. Maybe in
your house people always said money's hard to make rich,
people are greedy, or we don't talk about finances. These
(21:06):
unconscious scripts drive your habits until you rewrite them. T.
Harvecker said your money blueprints are not said in stone.
You can change them. So here's the takeaway. You can't
change your future until you challenge your programming. Write down
three money beliefs you heard growing up. What were the
(21:29):
things your parents said, What were the things your family
members said, What were the what was the rhetoric around money?
And ask yourself do these still serve me? Then rewrite one.
Instead of saying money is selfish, rite money is fuel
for generosity. Notice the difference. You can change your relationship
(21:51):
with money. You can stop chasing it out of fear
and start building it from wisdom. You can stop using
it to impress and start using it to invest. You
can stop hiding from your bank account and start owning
every number. You can stop saying I'm bad with money
and start learning like your future depends on it. Because
(22:15):
it does. You can rewrite the money stories you were
raised on. You can replace guilt with clarity. You can
replace shame with strategy, scarcity with intention. It's not about
how much you have, it's about how you treat it,
and how you treat money determines whether it stays or leaves.
(22:38):
Think about a partner. Is your partner going to stay
if you don't respect them? Is your partner going to
stay if you don't invest in them? Is your partner
going to stay if you don't learn about them? Is
your partner going to stay if you avoid them? No
money is exactly the same, But why do we treat
it so differently. It's because of these narratives we built
(23:00):
up since we were kids. I grew up an house
where we always had just enough, which meant I looked
at my bank account growing up with zero in it
a lot. I started working when I was fourteen. I
paid for my first phone bill, paid for my car,
my car insurance. I started paying for things very very
early in life. But I was lucky to live at
(23:20):
my parents, so I wasn't paying for rent. But I
started learning the value of money, and I remember growing
up just looking at my back balance and seeing zero
because my money mindset was I need just enough. Would
I ever say I need just enough oxygen. Imagine you
had all the oxygen for the next three months in
a bag and you were like, all right, I've only
got three months, but I've got just enough for three months.
(23:41):
You wouldn't do that. You'd be like, oh God, I
need to figure out how to get more oxygen, or
I need to have more available oxygen. I can't live
like that. Money and oxygen are very similar like that.
And by the way, I've been there, I've been nearly
four months away from being broke. I know what it
feels like to be living paycheck to paycheck with only
enough money for rent and grocery. Having been there, what
I know is that there was a lot of fear.
(24:03):
There was a lot of stress. It was because I
was avoiding conversations about money. I was avoiding looking aware
the money was going. It was just coming in and
going out, and I wasn't breaking it down. If you're
not aware of how much is being saved, how much
is going for bills, if you're not budgeting, if you're
not taking a look at this at a very basic level.
You will always be scared. I don't want you to
(24:25):
be scared anymore. Number seven, Generosity multiplies wealth, not drains it.
We're taught to hoard money when stressed, but psychology shows
that intentional generosity improves well being, long term wealth, mindset,
and even motivation. People who give even small amounts are
(24:47):
more optimistic and productive. One of the things I love
to see is I've been very fortunate over the last
few years to lead some fundraises. We led one online
during the pandemic for Give India, and it was phenomenal
to see so many of you jump in. And it
was because of people like yourself who jumped in five
(25:10):
dollars ten dollars that we were able to raise over
five million dollars in twenty four hours. People often think,
what will my five dollars do? What will my ten
dollars do? I promise you it makes a difference because
what we need is a lot of people who give
a little. That great giving that happens connects us and
I saw that in action. I remember we did this
(25:32):
live broadcast where we were raising money. We had big
donors who were matching it. I had friends like Ray
Dahlio come in and give a million dollars to match
whatever we were doing. We had India Aspira who were
matching whatever we made as well, But it was you
who raised millions of dollars that then were matched by
these other donors. And that's what created this beautiful feeling
(25:53):
of giving. And one of the things I think about
is if I have more, I have more to give.
It's a beautiful mindset to have. And that's what it is.
It's the responsibility of those who have more to give more.
That's what it's there for. And so you don't have
to be greedy. There's a famous quote that have heard
many many times, and it says money just makes you
(26:17):
more of who you are, right, it just amplifies who
you were in the first place. A lot of us
are scared to become wealthy because we're scared it might
change our hearts. I'm here to tell you that it
will only make you more of who you are. If
you're a generous person, if you have more money, you'll
just be more generous. If you're a greedy, small minded person,
it will just make you more of that. And so
(26:39):
don't feel like it will change you. It doesn't have
to change you. There's a famous Brake lyric that I
love where he said, I like when money makes a
difference but doesn't make you different. And that's what I
think we have to approach it from is how can
we use money to make a difference in our lives,
the people that we love and people beyond. So that's
the takeaway, and here's the action one leave you with here,
(27:01):
give something small this week, five pounds, your time, a referral,
or a skill. All of that is giving. Watch how
your energy towards money shifts when it serves others as well.
Here's my final thought. Money isn't just numbers, its emotion,
it's energy, its identity. At twenty, you're not too young
(27:25):
to build wealth. You're early enough to build it with wisdom.
Start with just one of these shifts today, and remember
the wealthiest people aren't always the ones who made the
most money. They're the ones who built the best relationship
with money. Let me know what resonated with you, what
(27:46):
connected with you. I'd love to do more episodes about
our financial health and wellbeing. I'm always approaching it from
an energetic standpoint. I have some amazing experts on the show,
giving you much more tactical, practical, specific insight on what
to do with your money. Make sure you go and
check out those episodes. We've had everyone from Cody Sanchez
to Spree to many many more. Do not miss those
(28:09):
episodes on financial wellbeing. I'll see you very soon. If
you love this episode, you will also love my interview
with Charles Douhig on how to hack your brain, change
any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions. Look,
am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making
the choice because I'm scared of doing the work, Or
(28:29):
am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel
right yet
You're not bad with money, you were just never taught
how to use it. You were taught how to earn it,
not how to grow it. You were taught how to
spend it, but not how to invest it. You were
taught to chase it, not how to make it work
for you. You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving.
(00:25):
And it's not your fault. You didn't know, but it's
your power to learn now. The number one health and
wellness podcast, Jay Setty Jay Shetty shet Hey, everyone, welcome
back to On Purpose. I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm so
deeply grateful that you tuned in. I hope that you've
(00:47):
subscribed so that you never miss an episode, and make
sure you keep tagging me on Instagram and TikTok and
all your platforms. I love seeing the clips and the
parts that resonate with you, and I love the community
we're building now. Today's episode is about something that I
believe is so important. It's everything I wish I knew
(01:08):
about money in my twenties. Now, whether you're in your twenties, thirties, forties,
or fifties, this episode still applies because I believe that
financial literacy is something we all learn far too late.
It's something that some of us never learn at all.
I'm sure you've had some challenges with this, whether it's
(01:30):
being credit card payments, whether it's been debt, whether it's
been understanding how to make money or grow money, whether
it's understanding do I need a side hustle, how many
streams of income do I have? Do I really know
where I'm spending my money? Do I know where I'm
wasting my money? And chances are, if you've turned up here,
(01:50):
there's a part of you that's also avoided money. I'm
guessing there's a part of you that doesn't like looking
at your bank statement. There's a part of you that
maybe wants to put it away. There's a part of
you that doesn't check how much you've saved because you're scared.
You're scared to look at the number. It's hard to face.
And here's what I want to start by telling you
(02:11):
it's not your fault. You never taught how to do it.
It's not something you should know how to do. I
think we all feel like we grow up and all
of a sudden, we're paying rent, we're paying taxes, We've
got to figure out what a mortgage is. We have
no idea how that works. Everything has interest, and all
of a sudden you grow up and you go, well,
wait a minute, No one taught me this in school.
Even if you studied economics at school, you didn't know
(02:34):
how real world economy worked. Even if you studied finance
at university, you didn't necessarily know how to start and
run a business. It doesn't work that way. So I
want you to take the pressure off, and I want
this to be the start of you changing your money mindset.
I want this to be the beginning of transforming your
(02:55):
relationship with money. I think that's the main thing I
want to focus on here. Currently, you have an avoidant
relationship with money. There are three types of attachment styles
in love, secure, anxious, and avoidant, and I believe that
those three attachment styles are also our attachment styles with money.
(03:19):
We either feel secure talking about money and what it is,
We feel anxious talking about money and how mhich we make,
save and spend, or we avoid it all together. Which
one are you? If I asked you right now, do
you feel secure talking about money? Listening about money, looking
at your bank statements, looking at your budgeting and saving.
(03:41):
Do you feel anxious so you might do those things,
But actually there's this underlying anxiety. I don't have enough.
I'm not gonna have enough. I don't like all of this.
This is stressful. And then there's avoidance. I don't look
at it at all. I have no idea. We want
to transform our relationship with money to be secure. I'm
not saying we have to be overly confident. I'm not
(04:02):
saying you have to become a millionaire. I'm not saying
that you've got to have an abundance mindset. I just
want you to feel safe and secure talking about money,
hearing about money, and learning about money. We've all been
taught this myth. I'm sure you've heard it before. Money
is the root of all evil. You know what's really
(04:22):
interesting about that when you actually check the actual reference.
The actual quote is the love of money is the
root of all evil. Notice how different that is. It's
not that money is the root of all evil. It's
the love of money that's the root of all evil.
(04:43):
It's the obsession, it's the last it's the greed after
it that's the root of all evil. But money itself
is energy. Money is a resource. Money is a universal power.
Money's a currence. But when we get lost in this
belief that it's bad, it's negative, our relationship with it
(05:06):
becomes anxious and avoidant. When we feel it's unhealthy, we're
not being told to not master our money, which is
being told not to fall in love with it and
think it's the be all and end all of everything.
That's the beginning of transforming our relationship from avoidant to
anxious to secure. Let's dive in number one. You don't
(05:28):
have an income problem, you have a decision problem. Most
twenty year olds think they'll be better with money once
they can earn more. I'm sure you've said this as well.
When I have more money, I'll be better at dealing
with it. Right now, I don't have enough to even
think about it. But science shows that your sense of control,
(05:51):
not your salary, predicts your financial wellbeing. People with an
internal locus of control who belie leave they influence their
outcomes are more likely to budget, save, and bounce back
from financial stress. One of my favorite quotes from Jim
Rohan is he said, formal education will make you a living.
(06:14):
Self education will make you a fortune. But here's the takeaway.
The moment you take responsibility for your financial habits, even
if you're broke, is the moment you start building wealth.
Here's an action list three money related decisions you can
make today, even if your income is low. You could
(06:38):
set up a free budgeting app. You could cancel one
unnecessary subscription. You could transfer five pounds to savings or
five dollars even if it feels small. Don't avoid talking
about money. Don't avoid talking to people about money. Don't
act broke to stay relatable. Don't play so small so
(07:03):
no one feels uncomfortable. Don't pretend you don't care about
wealth when you're struggling without it. Don't shame ambition, then
envy the results. Don't wait to get rich before learning
how to manage it. Don't hide your financial goals. Speak
them like they already belong to you. Don't stay silent
(07:27):
about money and expect your relationship with it to improve.
It's like not talking to your partner and wanting to
stay in love. Imagine if you never talked about love,
you never talked about your relationship, you never talked about
connection or intimacy. How good would your relationship be? How
(07:48):
healthy would it be? People who believe that they can
control their destiny, that they can change their reality, that
they take control of their financial habits, will see change.
I want you to recognize that you won't feel better
about your financial situation because you avoid looking at your
(08:08):
bank statement. You'll only feel better about your financial situation
when you actually turn towards it. Number two, you won't
save what you don't see. This is a psychological principle.
We spend what we mentally label as available. If your
paycheck hits your account and sits there, your brain sees
(08:31):
it as spendable. This is why automation and separation are
more powerful than discipline. We think, oh, I'll be disciplined
this month, I'll spend less. But no. If there's no
automation and separation of how that money is divided, you
will break your discipline. Mental accounting helps reduce friction between
(08:55):
what you want and what you do. There's an amazing
quote I love. It says, do not save what is
left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
That's from Warren Buffett. One of my favorite quotes. Don't
save what is left after spending, but spend what is
(09:16):
left after saving. You want to create an automatic save,
and then spend what is left over. You don't want
to be in a position where you just have this
amount in your current account and you're thinking, Okay, I'm
going to try and save some of it this month,
and then at the end of the month you're looking
at it and you're back at zero. You've got to
remember this. Your brain is lazy, but programmable. Make savings invisible.
(09:43):
Open a second account today. Automate ten percent, twenty percent,
whatever you can do of every paycheck, even if it's
ten dollars. To go straight there and label it freedom fund.
Label it your freedom fund, give it a name, give
it something exciting. Don't just call it savings, because even
the word savings sometimes can feel boring and kind of,
(10:04):
you know, unenthusing, or it can feel scary to look
at a saving as a coward. Not much in it,
but a freedom fund. Whatever inspires you. Make it automated
and make it separated. Don't just make money, learn to
keep it. Don't spend to look rich, save to stay free.
(10:25):
Don't let every paycheck pass through you like you don't matter.
Don't confuse lifestyle with wealth. Don't buy comfort now and
borrow stress later. Don't think saving is boring. It's the
most rebellious thing in a world that wants you broke.
(10:47):
Don't wait until you make more, save now so future
you has options. Don't treat saving like a punishment. Treat
it like self respect. A lot of people that I've
spoken to finance experts as well. We'll talk about the
dangers of how everyone online will tell you invest invest invest.
(11:09):
You may end up losing a bunch of money on crypto.
You may end up losing a bunch of money on NFTs.
You don't need to do any of those get rich
quick schemes, or you need to focus on is building
your future. Number three. Buying things won't make you rich,
but learning about them actually might. Most people think money
(11:31):
is for spending, not studying, but impulsive buying triggers dopamine
and short term pleasure, while financial literacy builds long term gain.
Study show those with higher financial literacy experience lower anxiety,
more saving, and better life outcomes. Warren Buffett said, the
(11:53):
more you learn, the more you earn. Money grows when
your brain grows first talking about investing. Spend ten minutes
today reading about a financial concept compound interest, inflation, investing
swap one scroll for one financial insight. Investing in yourself
(12:15):
and your knowledge is a far better investment at the
beginning of your wealth journey than any other asset. I
promise you that buying things won't make you rich. Impressing
people won't build your net worth. Wearing your salary won't
grow your savings. Spending like your wealthy won't make you wealthy.
(12:39):
Every time you buy to feel better, you're selling off
your future piece. You don't need more stuff, you need
more strategy. The goal isn't to look rich. The goal
is to stop worrying about money. Now. I'm not saying
I don't want you to treat yourself. I'm not saying
that I like things too. I don't think there's anything
(13:02):
wrong with that. You just don't want it to be imbalanced.
You don't want it to be that you're stressed every
time you buy something. I was talking to a friend
about this. He didn't go to university. He found something
that he loved early on in life and started making
a living. Now, in the beginning, it didn't make him
loads of money, but he learned very quickly how to
(13:26):
not get wrapped up in building a lifestyle and actually
how to invest it and learn about it. And that's
the point I really want to bring about here. It's
not just investing before investing. There's a learning piece. Okay,
is it property? Is it compound? Is it this? Is
it borrowing? It's figuring that out. And I think a
lot of people today will be like, Hey, invest in
this because this is the next big thing. Hey invest
(13:47):
in this because this is the next big hit. And
the challenge with that is you do something with very
low learning, usually it's a very big investment. I've got
another friend who knew nothing about crypto, put practically fifty
percent of his life saving into it, and then the
next week when crypto dropped, he took everything out because
he'd lost ten K and got worried about it. And
then the next week it all went up again, and
(14:09):
then he'd lost all of it. And it was just
this mess of getting involved in things and investing in
things that you have very little insight over. At the
same time, I've got friends who got great jobs out
of university, but their lifestyle changed so much that their
lifestyle was competing with their income. Right when your lifestyle
(14:29):
is competing with your income, the pressure that we experience
that makes it extremely hard to turn that into future value.
A lot of the times we can look at people
and think that they're spending lavishly, but we're looking at
a number, not as a percentage. I would start looking
at your life as a percentage of how much you
(14:50):
spend on your lifestyle versus how much you spend on
your future. It's not about the amount someone could spend
ten thousand on a wedding. Someone could spend fifty thousand
on a wedding. Someone could spend a million or on
a wedding. It's not about the amount they spend. It's
the percentage of their income that matters about how they spend.
(15:11):
And so stop looking at numbers at face value. Start
looking at your life as a percentage of what you're
walking home with after tax and figuring out how that
feels for you. I think that before and after tax
is a whole conversation in and of itself. So many
of us look at how much we make as a
revenue standpoint, or as an income standpoint, and not looking
(15:31):
at what does that look like after tax? What does
that look like after rent? What does that look like
after my car bill? Right? I see so many people
with really great, amazing cars. That is their entire salary
is the amount that car is worth, and all of
a sudden, when you start looking at those payments monthly,
it starts getting really painful. Don't ignore the reality of
(15:54):
trying to present your lifestyle in a certain way. I've
also find it to be what's known the golden handcuffs.
A lot of people get so used to their lifestyle
that they can't quit a job they hate. So you
actually hate what you're doing, but you can't stop doing
it because it pays for the lifestyle you want. The
(16:15):
question you have to ask yourself is do I want
to do something I hate for the rest of my
life to pay for things? And it's okay if you do.
If the answer is yes, that's fine. But oftentimes we
get an opportunity to do something closer to our heart,
but we don't want to take it because we'd make less.
In my own life, I went through that. I had
a stable job as a consultant. I was doing okay, okay,
(16:37):
being very important as part of it, and I wasn't
doing well, and I wasn't doing badly. I was doing
just fine, and I gave that up to pursue my passion,
and I'm so grateful for that, because I am so
thankful that I get to do what I love today.
But I had to take off the golden handcuffs. I
had a safe, stable career lined up, but I was
(16:59):
willing to make less. I was willing to make nothing
at all in the beginning to get it going, and
I'm grateful that I was able to put those down.
So don't be tied by the golden handcuffs. I have
so much more to share with you, but we're just
going to take a short break for our sponsors and
I'll be right back. Hey, it's Jay Sheddy and I'm
so excited to share. We're launching a brand new subscription
(17:22):
on Apple Podcasts. That means if you want more on purpose,
more inspiration, more tools, more depth, you now have the
option to subscribe and unlock bonus content from our incredible guests.
And don't worry, the main show is still free for everyone.
But if you're someone who wants to go even deeper
and support the show, this is for you. Just hit
(17:44):
Try free on Apple Podcasts and join our growing community
of purpose driven listeners. I can't wait for you to
check it out. Okay, we're back. Let's dive right back
in step number four. Debt isn't evil, but ignorance is.
Most twenty somethings are taught that all debt is bad.
(18:07):
It's not. What's dangerous is not understanding how it works
and what type of debt you're getting into. We avoid
debt education out of fear. Yet the avoidance is what
leads to mistakes. Psychology shows that we react more strongly
to losses than gains, so we emotionally shut down around debt.
(18:30):
One of my favorite quotes is, if you don't find
a way to make money while you sleep, you will
work until you die. That's Warren Buffer as well. So
the takeaway is you can't beat a system you don't understand.
Action point for you learn the basics APR, credit score, interest.
Pick one debt could be your student loan, credit card,
(18:53):
and break down how it actually works. Then make a plan.
Do one thing at a time. Don't just look at
debt as this one big bubble. Student loan is different
to credit card debt. Go and understand it deeply and
see what support there is out there as well. Number five,
you're not lazy, you're overwhelmed. We blame ourselves for being
(19:15):
bad with money, but often it's not laziness. It's too
many small, unresolved financial decisions. Training willpower. Science shows that
decision fatigue leads to avoidance, impulsive spending, and missed opportunities. P. T.
Barnum famously said money is a terrible master, but an
(19:37):
excellent servant. Here's the takeaway. Simplify before you scale. What
does that look like in action? Pick one financial goal
for the next thirty days. Just one, and track only that.
No pressure to fix everything at once. And remember, you're
(19:58):
not bad with money. You were just never taught how
to use it. You were taught how to earn it,
not how to grow it. You were taught how to
spend it, but not how to invest it. You were
taught to chase it, not how to make it work
for you. You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving.
(20:23):
You learned to feel guilty when you had money and
ashamed when you didn't. You inherited stress, not strategy. And
it's not your fault you didn't know, but it's your
power to learn now. Number six, Your money beliefs aren't yours.
(20:44):
They're inherited. This is from a psych principle of cognitive
scripts and money archetypes by Brad Klonts. What we don't
realize is we grow up absorbing money messages. Maybe in
your house people always said money's hard to make rich,
people are greedy, or we don't talk about finances. These
(21:06):
unconscious scripts drive your habits until you rewrite them. T.
Harvecker said your money blueprints are not said in stone.
You can change them. So here's the takeaway. You can't
change your future until you challenge your programming. Write down
three money beliefs you heard growing up. What were the
(21:29):
things your parents said, What were the things your family
members said, What were the what was the rhetoric around money?
And ask yourself do these still serve me? Then rewrite one.
Instead of saying money is selfish, rite money is fuel
for generosity. Notice the difference. You can change your relationship
(21:51):
with money. You can stop chasing it out of fear
and start building it from wisdom. You can stop using
it to impress and start using it to invest. You
can stop hiding from your bank account and start owning
every number. You can stop saying I'm bad with money
and start learning like your future depends on it. Because
(22:15):
it does. You can rewrite the money stories you were
raised on. You can replace guilt with clarity. You can
replace shame with strategy, scarcity with intention. It's not about
how much you have, it's about how you treat it,
and how you treat money determines whether it stays or leaves.
(22:38):
Think about a partner. Is your partner going to stay
if you don't respect them? Is your partner going to
stay if you don't invest in them? Is your partner
going to stay if you don't learn about them? Is
your partner going to stay if you avoid them? No
money is exactly the same, But why do we treat
it so differently. It's because of these narratives we built
(23:00):
up since we were kids. I grew up an house
where we always had just enough, which meant I looked
at my bank account growing up with zero in it
a lot. I started working when I was fourteen. I
paid for my first phone bill, paid for my car,
my car insurance. I started paying for things very very
early in life. But I was lucky to live at
(23:20):
my parents, so I wasn't paying for rent. But I
started learning the value of money, and I remember growing
up just looking at my back balance and seeing zero
because my money mindset was I need just enough. Would
I ever say I need just enough oxygen. Imagine you
had all the oxygen for the next three months in
a bag and you were like, all right, I've only
got three months, but I've got just enough for three months.
(23:41):
You wouldn't do that. You'd be like, oh God, I
need to figure out how to get more oxygen, or
I need to have more available oxygen. I can't live
like that. Money and oxygen are very similar like that.
And by the way, I've been there, I've been nearly
four months away from being broke. I know what it
feels like to be living paycheck to paycheck with only
enough money for rent and grocery. Having been there, what
I know is that there was a lot of fear.
(24:03):
There was a lot of stress. It was because I
was avoiding conversations about money. I was avoiding looking aware
the money was going. It was just coming in and
going out, and I wasn't breaking it down. If you're
not aware of how much is being saved, how much
is going for bills, if you're not budgeting, if you're
not taking a look at this at a very basic level.
You will always be scared. I don't want you to
(24:25):
be scared anymore. Number seven, Generosity multiplies wealth, not drains it.
We're taught to hoard money when stressed, but psychology shows
that intentional generosity improves well being, long term wealth, mindset,
and even motivation. People who give even small amounts are
(24:47):
more optimistic and productive. One of the things I love
to see is I've been very fortunate over the last
few years to lead some fundraises. We led one online
during the pandemic for Give India, and it was phenomenal
to see so many of you jump in. And it
was because of people like yourself who jumped in five
(25:10):
dollars ten dollars that we were able to raise over
five million dollars in twenty four hours. People often think,
what will my five dollars do? What will my ten
dollars do? I promise you it makes a difference because
what we need is a lot of people who give
a little. That great giving that happens connects us and
I saw that in action. I remember we did this
(25:32):
live broadcast where we were raising money. We had big
donors who were matching it. I had friends like Ray
Dahlio come in and give a million dollars to match
whatever we were doing. We had India Aspira who were
matching whatever we made as well, But it was you
who raised millions of dollars that then were matched by
these other donors. And that's what created this beautiful feeling
(25:53):
of giving. And one of the things I think about
is if I have more, I have more to give.
It's a beautiful mindset to have. And that's what it is.
It's the responsibility of those who have more to give more.
That's what it's there for. And so you don't have
to be greedy. There's a famous quote that have heard
many many times, and it says money just makes you
(26:17):
more of who you are, right, it just amplifies who
you were in the first place. A lot of us
are scared to become wealthy because we're scared it might
change our hearts. I'm here to tell you that it
will only make you more of who you are. If
you're a generous person, if you have more money, you'll
just be more generous. If you're a greedy, small minded person,
it will just make you more of that. And so
(26:39):
don't feel like it will change you. It doesn't have
to change you. There's a famous Brake lyric that I
love where he said, I like when money makes a
difference but doesn't make you different. And that's what I
think we have to approach it from is how can
we use money to make a difference in our lives,
the people that we love and people beyond. So that's
the takeaway, and here's the action one leave you with here,
(27:01):
give something small this week, five pounds, your time, a referral,
or a skill. All of that is giving. Watch how
your energy towards money shifts when it serves others as well.
Here's my final thought. Money isn't just numbers, its emotion,
it's energy, its identity. At twenty, you're not too young
(27:25):
to build wealth. You're early enough to build it with wisdom.
Start with just one of these shifts today, and remember
the wealthiest people aren't always the ones who made the
most money. They're the ones who built the best relationship
with money. Let me know what resonated with you, what
(27:46):
connected with you. I'd love to do more episodes about
our financial health and wellbeing. I'm always approaching it from
an energetic standpoint. I have some amazing experts on the show,
giving you much more tactical, practical, specific insight on what
to do with your money. Make sure you go and
check out those episodes. We've had everyone from Cody Sanchez
to Spree to many many more. Do not miss those
(28:09):
episodes on financial wellbeing. I'll see you very soon. If
you love this episode, you will also love my interview
with Charles Douhig on how to hack your brain, change
any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions. Look,
am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making
the choice because I'm scared of doing the work, Or
(28:29):
am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel
right yet
Host
Jay Shetty
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.