September 13, 2024 • 28 mins
Have you ever thought about taking a solo trip?
What do you think you'd learn about yourself if you traveled alone?
Today, Jay unpacks the unexpected benefits of solo travel. Whether you’re an avid traveler or someone hesitant to step out of your comfort zone, traveling alone, even just once, can be one of the most powerful experiences of your life.
Jay explains how solo travel helps break free from the “herd mentality”—when we defer to the preferences of those around us—and instead allows us to deeply understand our own desires and needs. You’ll learn how traveling alone can expand your worldview, teach self-reliance, and push you to explore not just new places but new aspects of yourself.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Expand Your Worldview
How to Boost Self-Reliance
How to Connect with New People and Cultures
How to Build Confidence Through Solo Travel
Whether you're seeking new perspectives or personal growth, traveling alone can be a powerful tool to reconnect with your true self.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:48 Do You Need to Go on a Solo Trip?
04:50 #1: Learn More About Yourself
11:10 #2: Improve Your Confidence
13:43 #3: Expand Your Worldview
16:53 #4: Develop Self-Reliance
19:49 #5: Master Your Mind
21:54 #6: Beat Boredom and Distraction
23:09 #7: Vigilance
24:55 #8: Get to Know Diverse People
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which
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(00:22):
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(00:43):
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your Mind, Change your Life. We're not really clear on
what's important to us, and so when someone else tells
(01:04):
us what's important to them, we import what's important to
others into our own likes. And dislikes. When you travel alone,
you give yourself the opportunity, you give yourself the space,
You give yourself the time to recognize what's important to you,
(01:26):
what's meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real
to you. The number one health and wellness podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Say set Jay Sety lyous.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
come to listen, learn and grow. I'm so grateful that
you're back here with me. And today's episode is all
about why you need to take a solo trip at
least once in your life now before you turn away
because you're too scared. Before you're like, hey, I don't
(02:00):
want this, I don't want to go there. Hear me out.
I'm sure you've heard about your friends doing it, maybe
a family member do it. Maybe your kids said to
you that they want to do it. Solo trips are
becoming more and more normalized, they're becoming more and more prevalent,
They're more and more in demand, so much so that
Forbes actually made a list of the ten most popular
(02:22):
solo travel destinations for twenty twenty four, and the report
went on to mention everything from Japan, Argentina, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ecuador,
You've got Jordan on that list, Thailand, Philippines, Bali, and
maybe one more as well. But what's incredible about that
(02:43):
list is that it's showing that there's this new found
interest in traveling alone. And I know what some of
your thinking, Jay, Traveling is always better when you're with
other people. Traveling is always more fun when you're with
family or friends or whatever it might be. But hey,
I think that we're all feeling like we don't always
(03:04):
have enough time. A lot of us are feeling we
don't have enough time alone. A lot of us can't
get schedules to match. Or maybe you've just gone through
a breakup recently, Maybe you've gone through a life event,
whether you're taking a sabbatical. Maybe you've been working for
too long, or you want to get this in just
before you start working, and you're the only one of
(03:25):
your friends who actually has that time and energy and
intention to want to do it. Maybe you're curious to
what it might be like. Well, today I want to
give you some of the reasons, maybe to reaffirm your curiosity,
or if you've never considered it at all, to maybe
think about why it can be really powerful for you
(03:45):
and useful for you as well, And so I'm really
excited that you're here with me and that you're taking
a chance on this, because I do believe that travel
is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given,
and the fact that today it's become simpler and easier
than ever before is truly an amazing blessing that we
(04:07):
all have in our lives. And I wanted to share
one of my favorite quotes about travel that inspires this
desire that we all have, and it's this one. It
comes from Lisa Ling, where she said the best education
I've ever received was through travel. I love that quote
(04:30):
because I realized that there are so many ways to
learn today, so many ways to grow, but travel definitely
is one of the most special ways. So let's dive
in to the reasons I think you should take a
solo trip, some of my experiences and also some of
the best lessons I've learned along the way. Now, today
there's a lot of talk about self awareness. There's the
(04:53):
need to understand who you are, and I think solo
travel is by far the number one way to learn
about yourself. You get to know yourself the quickest, fastest,
most accelerated way when you choose to travel alone. Now,
(05:13):
when you're traveling with others, you might be used to
doing what everyone else does, or going along with what
everyone else chooses. Someone else chooses the dinner spot, someone
else chooses the bar, someone else chooses today's adventure, today's activity,
and you might have, for a long time gone along
with what's known as the bandwagon effect, or as we
(05:35):
call it, herd mentality, the idea that if enough people
want to do it on the trip, you're happy to
go along. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. You can
have some beautiful experiences because of it, and I've definitely
had some of those. But I've also realized that it's
so rare for us to know what we actually want
to do, and one of the reasons we're indecisive, one
(05:56):
of the reasons why we struggle to make choices is
because of and we've just avoided it for a long
period of our life. Maybe we've never been asked, Maybe
when we were asked, we just deferred to someone else,
and maybe it's been so long that we've actually disconnected
from who we are, what we want, and what's meaningful
(06:17):
to us. I mean, think about it for a second.
If someone said to you you could do anything you
wanted on vacation. You could go anywhere you wanted. What
would you choose? Would you choose a city break or
are you sure you'd want a beach now? Would you
want an active day at the beach or would you
want a sightseeing there at the city or are you
actually looking for a city break with a bit of
(06:38):
history and art, or actually are you looking for food
and tourism. I think as we get older we get
a sense of this, but when you're on your own,
you get really close and connected to what it is
that stands out to you. I know that when I've
traveled on my own, it's given me a sense of
how for so many years I might even have thought
(07:01):
I liked what other people liked. I actually had this
experience recently where me and a friend who were traveling
somewhere actually and their friend had already been to that place.
Their friend was on the call with my friend and
they were talking to each other, and the other friend
was saying, I can't believe you're not doing anything. I
(07:21):
can't believe you're not going to see any of the sites.
I can't believe that you haven't rented a car. I
can't believe that you're not going to go to this
landmark or whatever else it may be. And I could
see that it was really getting under my friend's skin.
And my friend even mentioned to me like, Jay, are
we not going to rent a car? We're not going
to do this? Are we not going to do that?
(07:43):
And I could tell that they felt kind of uncomfortable
and insecure. Now at this time, I didn't know where
that was coming from. So I asked them where is
this coming from? And they said, oh, no, nothing, And
I said, no, no, like it feels like it's important to you.
I'd love to know. And they were like, oh, well,
I was talking to a friend who was here a
couple of months back, and they made made me feel
like I was missing out. And I said, well, let's
take a look at what they recommended. And so there
(08:05):
were a couple of sites and we mapped it from
where we were staying and it was about one and
a half our car journey either way. And so I
said to my friend, I said, is that what you
want to do? Do you want to take a one
and a half hour journey either way to see the site,
because we can definitely rent a car and do that
if that's important to you. But I want to know
if it's important to you. And I saw this look
(08:27):
at my friend's face where they were reflecting, and then
they said to me, they said, Jay, actually I don't
want to do that. We're in paradise. Why are we
going to spend three hours in a car. And it
was really interesting to me where just a few moments ago,
that fear of missing out, that insecurity of I'm not
doing enough, that feeling of oh my gosh, they had
(08:48):
all these amazing experiences. Am I wasting time? Did I
get it wrong? Am I going to leave here feeling
like I didn't make the most of it? We're creeping
in and so much of that happens. So much of
that occurs because we haven't got to know ourself. We're
not really clear on what's important to us, and so
when someone else tells us what's important to them, we
(09:12):
import what's important to others into our own likes and dislikes. Right,
We literally extract and adopt what they find valuable to
be valuable to us. When you travel alone, you give
yourself the opportunity you give yourself, the space, you give
(09:34):
yourself the time to recognize what's important to you, what's
meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real to you.
And that's one of the reasons why I love working
with the Booking dot Com because they have this filter
where it's easy to narrow down your search to find
(09:56):
the perfect match for your preferences. And what's really amazing
is that they we have this new AI powered trip
Planner which offers personalized recommendations to help you get exactly
what you need, and that might even be a great
way for you to discover what you might want. And
when you're doing this, here's a tip that I'd love
for you to practice. And it may feel weird at first,
(10:16):
but give it a go. When you're thinking about what
you want, don't try and make a choice. Just sit
with it for a second and see how both experiences
feel in your body at this time. So let's say
you're trying to choose between a city break or a
beach break. Just sit with that for a second and
see how thinking about a city break feels in your body,
(10:39):
and see how thinking about a beach break feels in
your body. What I love about this approach is that
not only are you becoming more self aware, you're actually
gaining the ability to tune in to what you need.
And what I'm trying to say here is that we
often kind of label ourselves as beach people's city peace
(11:00):
or country people, whatever else it may be. And the
truth is your body and mind may need something different
right now. This is a great checking system. I'd love
for you to try it out. Number two, This is
probably one of the favorite things I've learned about traveling alone.
I travel alone fairly often, both for work and for pleasure,
and I found that it deeply grows your confidence. You
(11:24):
know what it feels like to be in a random
airport which you've never been to, probably one of the smallest,
maybe one of the biggest airports you've ever been to,
and navigate it. I remember years ago i'd gone to
a retreat in Europe, a meditation retreat, and I was
on my way back, and I was coming back before
everyone else because I had to get to a different commitment,
(11:47):
whatever it may have been at the time. And I
remember that I got late to the airport, I missed
my flight, and at the time I didn't have a
lot of money, so I didn't really have enough money
to book the next flo I remember waiting at the
airport for nearly might have been like twelve to eighteen
hours overnight in an airport that I didn't feel fully
(12:09):
comfortable in and didn't know anyone in and didn't know
how to get by. I didn't have enough money to
book my next flight, and I got very, very lucky
that I got to come home because the airliner was
very kind and it really built my confidence. Now, first
of all, it taught me never to come late to
an airport ever again. So now I'm that person who
turns up to every flight three hours early, and it
drives my wife crazy because she wants to have that
(12:33):
adrenaline feeling of running onto the plane. Whoever you are,
you're all weirdos, right, like people who want to run
onto the plane. I never want to be late again.
I know what it feels like to sleep there without
knowing what's going to happen and figuring it out. I
don't want to be in that position again. And I
find that traveling alone really builds your confidence. You choose
your hotel, you book your hotel, you plan an itinery.
(12:55):
You develop so many skills in the process. And I
know you're saying that that sounds basic, Well it doesn't.
When you travel alone, you have to have the skill
of mapping out your day, mapping out your journey. You're
learning to trust yourself. You're learning to build the skills
and habits you need to function in the real world.
(13:15):
And I found so many people that I've recommended solo
travel to they come back and they say, I feel
so much more confident. I feel so much more self
assured in my abilities and my skills. And one thing
I found is that your confidence also grows because you're
getting to talk to people from different backgrounds, different walks
(13:37):
of life. You have to navigate things not working out.
And I'll get back to that in a second reason
number three and lesson number three, is it truly expands
your worldview. I find that often we can live in
such a cocoon, and it's easy when you travel to
notice different sceneries. It's easy to notice different architecture, it's
(13:59):
easy to notice different you know, like the obvious things
of whether there's a Starbucks there or not. But really
what travel does is it shows you what a society,
what a community, what a town values. It shows you
what a place believes. In the way I'd like to
(14:21):
think about this is think about what's at the center
of a town. When you travel to certain cities, certain towns,
certain countries, focus on what's at the center of it.
It gives you an idea of the values of that place.
It gives you an idea of the essence of that place.
Think about what the tallest tourist attraction is there, what's
(14:43):
the highest building monument, what is it? It tells you
a bit about what that city sees as powerful and
as an important thing in that city. So think about
what's at the center, think about what's highest, and think
about what the country represents in terms of figuring out
what's the biggest festival that happens there. You learn so
(15:05):
much about a city or a town or a country
by the festivities, and ultimately you learn the most by
speaking to the people there, which I'll get on too
in a second as well. And so I really feel
that there are certain methods, and those being my favorite ones.
What's at the center of a city, what's the highest
monument building part of a city? What is that? And
(15:28):
how do they preserve nature. That's the third thing. How
do they look after nature in that place? What does
the nature say about that city, that town? And of
course if you're in the countryside, what experience do you
get of nature? What are the festivals, what are the
key events that that city, town, or country hosts. This
(15:49):
gives you a real sense of what that place is
all about. And often we can miss it. We can
just kind of get caught in, you know, going out
to a restaurant and hitting a tourist attraction and not
really getting to the since the roots of what defines
that country. But it's a really beautiful, simple exercise to
give that a go. And you know, traveling pushes you
to adapt and grow in ways you might not expect.
(16:11):
And one of the things I love about booking dot
Com is that you can book the experiences that let
you experience and explore different sides of yourself and the place. So,
whether you want to relax or venture into a new territory,
booking dot Com helps you plan for whoever you want
to be on your trip. And I think that's a
really important part of this idea of expanding your worldview.
(16:34):
Are you trying to expand it historically, culturally, socially, food wise,
language wise. It's a beautiful way to think about travel.
It took me years to think about traveling that way.
I used to think about travelers have been there and
have been there, done that, And then I start to
realize what a you know, what a not great way
to travel. That was Number four comes from the confidence piece,
(16:56):
but an important one nevertheless, self reliance and problem solving.
This one's probably my favorite. I'm sure if you ever
tried traveling on your own or even with a small
group of friends, you're bound to encounter some challenges. Now
this is not including safety challenges. And you know, I
want to make sure that you're traveling safely. I want
to make sure that you're traveling, you know, in a
(17:18):
place and in a way that is protecting you from
any harm. But what I mean is you may have
to problem solve. You may have a flight get canceled,
you may need to jump on a train, you may
need to learn how to use the local system. I
remember some really horrifying experiences as a kid where I
saw my parents problem solving, and actually watching them problem
(17:39):
solve gave me a sense of self reliance in seeing
how they navigated very difficult things. I remember once in
a city we didn't know how to take their subway system,
and my parents maybe didn't get something stamped or whatever
it was. And I remember like being separated from my
parents and being held in a separate room, and I
(18:00):
could see my parents being shouted at and they took
our passports, and it was a really uncomfortable, nerve wracking
experience for my parents and for me and my sister,
who were very young at the time. And that isn't
an experience I'd want anyone to have, but watching my parents'
problem solve even I mean back in the day, I'd
used to see my parents pull out a map and
navigate it or ask for help. And I think all
(18:23):
of those skills are really powerful in today's world, where,
of course we've become reliant on Google Maps. We don't
need to ask for directions anymore, we don't need to
learn how to read a map. But I think there
are a lot of other aspects that you grow in
when you travel alone, of self reliance and problem solving,
and I think that a lot of us today are
(18:43):
looking for that. We've become so overreligned and dependent on others.
We crowdsource everything from what outfit should I wear tonight
all the way through to is this job right for me?
Or do you think I'm going to get picked right?
We crowdsource everything. When you travel alone, you get the
opportunity to problem solve and be reliant on yourself. And
(19:06):
one way to keep things stress free is by booking
with booking dot Com because what I've loved is that
they offer twenty four to seven customer service and helpful guides,
so you can follow your itinery with these no matter
how complex it gets. So you can actually take the
stress out of travel by planning ahead so you can
focus on the experience and take care of yourself throughout
(19:28):
the journey. And I think that's a really important touch
and a part of travel, especially when you're learning to
travel alone. And sometimes we underestimate these things when we're
traveling with friends. You know, you always kind of figure
it out with friends, but you know when you're on
your own, there's a deep sense of self reliance and
problem solving that that gets filled.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Number five is mastering your mind. So this is the
one I wanted to get to because I know a
lot of you will be thinking right now. I have
no idea how I do this, and I don't want
to lie to you and tell you it's easier. I'm
not going to just say to you, yeah, get on
with it. I actually empathize with it. We're living at
a time where we're so used to being surrounded by people.
(20:11):
We're so used to having noise and clutter in our mind,
in our space wherever we are, and I feel traveling
alone actually helps you master your mind. The first few days,
it's uncomfortable, the noise and the chatter. Oh my gosh,
I'm bored. Oh my gosh, Why did I do this?
Why did I come here on my own? What am
(20:31):
I doing to myself? What is this? This is not right.
I'm scared, I'm fearful, I'm insecure. Whatever it is right,
You're going to hear all of that, and day two
will get a little quieter, and day three it will
get a little quieter. You're actually learning to master on
the mind, to still the mind, to experience the mind
in its most extreme sense of fear and then allowing
(20:53):
it to dissipate, and noticing that you have the ability
to calm and still your mind when you travel alone. Yes,
there will be anxiety. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes,
it is taking you out of your comfort zone. For sure.
It's doing all of that right, it's doing all of that,
but it's also just giving you space to say I
(21:17):
can actually acknowledge the voice of my head. I don't
have to listen to it. I don't have to follow it.
I don't have to be totally set of course for it.
I can listen to it, I can hear it, and
then I can choose what I want to do with it.
Letting your mind slowly get quieter really allows you to
build mindfulness. It really allows you to build that sense
(21:40):
of I don't always have to listen to the voice
of my head. I don't always have to follow the
loudest shout in my mind. I can learn to allow
it to come and go and then listen to what remains.
Number six, you really challenge yourself to beat boredom and distractions.
I'm sure you have a long list of podcasts you
(22:01):
want to listen to a long list of books. I'm
taking a three day solo trip this week, and I
am so excited because there are so many books that
have been sitting on my desk in my bag, and
I really haven't managed to open up, and I am
so looking forward to diving deep. And I know that
in three days I can do some serious damage onto
my reading list, and I know just being present with
(22:22):
that is going to be so powerful for me. Now
I'm obviously reading a lot of growth, a lot of
personal development nonfiction. But even if you've been waiting to
escape into a book, I feel like when you solo travel,
you get to almost feel like you're a part of
that story. You get to feel like you're a part
of that experience. And so challenge yourself to beat boredom,
(22:44):
to beat distractions, to always be on your phone when
you're in another country, another space, another environment, another energy,
another city or town you don't have to travel to
another country. It's incredible what you can achieve in terms
of productivity, createivity, and just being able to disconnect from
what you're used to disconnect from what you're usually surrounded by.
(23:07):
It's super powerful. Number seven is vigilance. I think this
is a really powerful trait and I think some of
us have it, some of us don't, and a lot
of us need to develop it. What I mean by
this is can you read a room. I find that
when you're surrounded by people you're used to being surrounded by,
(23:28):
you're no longer reading the room. You're predicting the room. Right,
It's like Google, where it's predicting your search. It's not
reading it in the sense of it's not feeling it,
it's not experiencing it. You are, but you're predicting it.
You know how your dad's going to behave, you know
how your friend behaves in a certain situation. What happens
with that is we lose our ability to be hyper vigilant. Now,
(23:49):
when you're new surroundings in new spaces, you're actually just
getting a sense of the temperaments of the people. You're
getting a sense of the energy and the space. You're
actually high your ability to tune in to your intuition
the energy around you, and how you feel about it. Now,
you may say, Jay, that sounds like anxiety to me.
(24:09):
It can be anxiety inducing, but it can also be
a really powerful skill if seen in that way. You're
learning how to navigate conversations with different people from different backgrounds.
You're learning how to navigate a conversation with someone in
a different language. You're learning to be vigilant in certain spaces.
I remember getting lost in a town I was in
a couple of a few years back now, and I
(24:30):
wanted to find a way out, and I had to
be extra vigilant about my surroundings to make sure I
felt safe. And so I think you take safety more
seriously and you can bring that back into your life.
And I use the word vigilance because it's almost like
you're good at reading your surroundings. You're good at knowing
what's in your periphery, which sometimes we switch off when
(24:51):
we haven't been to a new place for a long time.
I think that number eight is obvious, but it's important
for me to say getting to know diverse people potential
friends for life. I think when you travel, especially on
your own, there's a certain feeling that you want to
get to know people. Now, of course, you want to
be safe about this, but you start learning how many
(25:15):
amazing people around the world, what kind of beautiful backgrounds
around the world, the amount of trust we can build
with other humans who are walking a different path and
a different background from us. I encourage you to find
people in places of similar value, service based projects, people
who are involved in this particular sport that you love abroad.
(25:36):
I think it's a wonderful way to connect with potential
friends for life, and this one's one of my favorites.
When you travel alone, there's no stimulation and no one
else to worry about. A Lot of the time when
we're traveling, one of the most anxiety inducing things is
making sure everyone's happy. Has everyone eaten? Is everyone happy
(25:56):
with how it's going? Is everyone having a good time?
I think having a good time? On they're not having
a good time. Are we having a good time. I'm
not having a good time. Cliques develop, whatever it may be.
You get to truly recharge, You get to truly focus
on yourself. You get to give yourself the attention and
the patience and the time that you deserve that you
often don't give to yourself. I really hope this inspires
(26:19):
you to take a solo journey. I hope you also
tell me where you went and what you learned. That's
what I'd love to know. If you're listening to this
right now and you're feeling inspired and you feel called
to go somewhere, tag me in a story, share it
on TikTok, Let me know where you're going because I'm very,
very excited for you. Thank you so much for listening.
I'm always rooting for you and forever in your corner,
(26:42):
and I'm so glad I've got to spend this time
with you. I'm always traveling for work, whether it's for
a podcast recording, a shoot, or a speaking engagement. But
what I love most about traveling is that it allows
me to discover new sides of myself. Whether I'm trying
new foods, meeting new people, or stepping into different cultures.
Each time helps me grow and learn in ways they
(27:02):
didn't expect. That's why I always use booking dot Com.
They make it easy to not only find the perfect
place to stay, but also to explore new environments and
discover parts of myself I hadn't tapped into before. With
their AI powered trip planner, I get personalized recommendations that
make every trip feel fresh, and the verified reviews give
me confidence that I'm always choosing the right spot today.
(27:25):
I want to use this time we have together to
share my favorite lessons from traveling and why it might
just be time for you to go on a solo trip.
I can't wait. Let's go on this journey together to
plan and travel with confidence. Use booking dot com to
find your next destination. It's the perfect place to book
any kind of trip. To get the most out of travel,
go to booking dot com now to book your next trip.
(27:48):
That's Booking dot Com Booking dot yeh.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
If you love this podcast, you love my episode with
Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should
stop chasing societies definely of success and how to be
more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss
it like. It's not about being perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
It's about just every day, one step at a time,
trying to be better, trying to do more.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm learning a lot about myself.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I have to break myself down in order to be
able to be better.
There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which
is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more
present and self aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss
all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to
actually be mindful in your day to day life. That's
where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for
a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness
(00:22):
fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to
help you build positive habits, shift yourself talk, reframe your
negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life.
So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in
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check out my seven minute daily series to help you
(00:43):
live more mindfully each and every day. Right now, listeners
of On Purpose get forty percent off a subscription to
Calmpremium at Calm dot com Forward slash j that's Calm
dot com forward slash jay for forty percent off Calm
your Mind, Change your Life. We're not really clear on
what's important to us, and so when someone else tells
(01:04):
us what's important to them, we import what's important to
others into our own likes. And dislikes. When you travel alone,
you give yourself the opportunity, you give yourself the space,
You give yourself the time to recognize what's important to you,
(01:26):
what's meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real
to you. The number one health and wellness podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Say set Jay Sety lyous.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
come to listen, learn and grow. I'm so grateful that
you're back here with me. And today's episode is all
about why you need to take a solo trip at
least once in your life now before you turn away
because you're too scared. Before you're like, hey, I don't
(02:00):
want this, I don't want to go there. Hear me out.
I'm sure you've heard about your friends doing it, maybe
a family member do it. Maybe your kids said to
you that they want to do it. Solo trips are
becoming more and more normalized, they're becoming more and more prevalent,
They're more and more in demand, so much so that
Forbes actually made a list of the ten most popular
(02:22):
solo travel destinations for twenty twenty four, and the report
went on to mention everything from Japan, Argentina, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ecuador,
You've got Jordan on that list, Thailand, Philippines, Bali, and
maybe one more as well. But what's incredible about that
(02:43):
list is that it's showing that there's this new found
interest in traveling alone. And I know what some of
your thinking, Jay, Traveling is always better when you're with
other people. Traveling is always more fun when you're with
family or friends or whatever it might be. But hey,
I think that we're all feeling like we don't always
(03:04):
have enough time. A lot of us are feeling we
don't have enough time alone. A lot of us can't
get schedules to match. Or maybe you've just gone through
a breakup recently, Maybe you've gone through a life event,
whether you're taking a sabbatical. Maybe you've been working for
too long, or you want to get this in just
before you start working, and you're the only one of
(03:25):
your friends who actually has that time and energy and
intention to want to do it. Maybe you're curious to
what it might be like. Well, today I want to
give you some of the reasons, maybe to reaffirm your curiosity,
or if you've never considered it at all, to maybe
think about why it can be really powerful for you
(03:45):
and useful for you as well, And so I'm really
excited that you're here with me and that you're taking
a chance on this, because I do believe that travel
is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given,
and the fact that today it's become simpler and easier
than ever before is truly an amazing blessing that we
(04:07):
all have in our lives. And I wanted to share
one of my favorite quotes about travel that inspires this
desire that we all have, and it's this one. It
comes from Lisa Ling, where she said the best education
I've ever received was through travel. I love that quote
(04:30):
because I realized that there are so many ways to
learn today, so many ways to grow, but travel definitely
is one of the most special ways. So let's dive
in to the reasons I think you should take a
solo trip, some of my experiences and also some of
the best lessons I've learned along the way. Now, today
there's a lot of talk about self awareness. There's the
(04:53):
need to understand who you are, and I think solo
travel is by far the number one way to learn
about yourself. You get to know yourself the quickest, fastest,
most accelerated way when you choose to travel alone. Now,
(05:13):
when you're traveling with others, you might be used to
doing what everyone else does, or going along with what
everyone else chooses. Someone else chooses the dinner spot, someone
else chooses the bar, someone else chooses today's adventure, today's activity,
and you might have, for a long time gone along
with what's known as the bandwagon effect, or as we
(05:35):
call it, herd mentality, the idea that if enough people
want to do it on the trip, you're happy to
go along. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. You can
have some beautiful experiences because of it, and I've definitely
had some of those. But I've also realized that it's
so rare for us to know what we actually want
to do, and one of the reasons we're indecisive, one
(05:56):
of the reasons why we struggle to make choices is
because of and we've just avoided it for a long
period of our life. Maybe we've never been asked, Maybe
when we were asked, we just deferred to someone else,
and maybe it's been so long that we've actually disconnected
from who we are, what we want, and what's meaningful
(06:17):
to us. I mean, think about it for a second.
If someone said to you you could do anything you
wanted on vacation. You could go anywhere you wanted. What
would you choose? Would you choose a city break or
are you sure you'd want a beach now? Would you
want an active day at the beach or would you
want a sightseeing there at the city or are you
actually looking for a city break with a bit of
(06:38):
history and art, or actually are you looking for food
and tourism. I think as we get older we get
a sense of this, but when you're on your own,
you get really close and connected to what it is
that stands out to you. I know that when I've
traveled on my own, it's given me a sense of
how for so many years I might even have thought
(07:01):
I liked what other people liked. I actually had this
experience recently where me and a friend who were traveling
somewhere actually and their friend had already been to that place.
Their friend was on the call with my friend and
they were talking to each other, and the other friend
was saying, I can't believe you're not doing anything. I
(07:21):
can't believe you're not going to see any of the sites.
I can't believe that you haven't rented a car. I
can't believe that you're not going to go to this
landmark or whatever else it may be. And I could
see that it was really getting under my friend's skin.
And my friend even mentioned to me like, Jay, are
we not going to rent a car? We're not going
to do this? Are we not going to do that?
(07:43):
And I could tell that they felt kind of uncomfortable
and insecure. Now at this time, I didn't know where
that was coming from. So I asked them where is
this coming from? And they said, oh, no, nothing, And
I said, no, no, like it feels like it's important to you.
I'd love to know. And they were like, oh, well,
I was talking to a friend who was here a
couple of months back, and they made made me feel
like I was missing out. And I said, well, let's
take a look at what they recommended. And so there
(08:05):
were a couple of sites and we mapped it from
where we were staying and it was about one and
a half our car journey either way. And so I
said to my friend, I said, is that what you
want to do? Do you want to take a one
and a half hour journey either way to see the site,
because we can definitely rent a car and do that
if that's important to you. But I want to know
if it's important to you. And I saw this look
(08:27):
at my friend's face where they were reflecting, and then
they said to me, they said, Jay, actually I don't
want to do that. We're in paradise. Why are we
going to spend three hours in a car. And it
was really interesting to me where just a few moments ago,
that fear of missing out, that insecurity of I'm not
doing enough, that feeling of oh my gosh, they had
(08:48):
all these amazing experiences. Am I wasting time? Did I
get it wrong? Am I going to leave here feeling
like I didn't make the most of it? We're creeping
in and so much of that happens. So much of
that occurs because we haven't got to know ourself. We're
not really clear on what's important to us, and so
when someone else tells us what's important to them, we
(09:12):
import what's important to others into our own likes and dislikes. Right,
We literally extract and adopt what they find valuable to
be valuable to us. When you travel alone, you give
yourself the opportunity you give yourself, the space, you give
(09:34):
yourself the time to recognize what's important to you, what's
meaningful to you, what's valuable to you, what's real to you.
And that's one of the reasons why I love working
with the Booking dot Com because they have this filter
where it's easy to narrow down your search to find
(09:56):
the perfect match for your preferences. And what's really amazing
is that they we have this new AI powered trip
Planner which offers personalized recommendations to help you get exactly
what you need, and that might even be a great
way for you to discover what you might want. And
when you're doing this, here's a tip that I'd love
for you to practice. And it may feel weird at first,
(10:16):
but give it a go. When you're thinking about what
you want, don't try and make a choice. Just sit
with it for a second and see how both experiences
feel in your body at this time. So let's say
you're trying to choose between a city break or a
beach break. Just sit with that for a second and
see how thinking about a city break feels in your body,
(10:39):
and see how thinking about a beach break feels in
your body. What I love about this approach is that
not only are you becoming more self aware, you're actually
gaining the ability to tune in to what you need.
And what I'm trying to say here is that we
often kind of label ourselves as beach people's city peace
(11:00):
or country people, whatever else it may be. And the
truth is your body and mind may need something different
right now. This is a great checking system. I'd love
for you to try it out. Number two, This is
probably one of the favorite things I've learned about traveling alone.
I travel alone fairly often, both for work and for pleasure,
and I found that it deeply grows your confidence. You
(11:24):
know what it feels like to be in a random
airport which you've never been to, probably one of the smallest,
maybe one of the biggest airports you've ever been to,
and navigate it. I remember years ago i'd gone to
a retreat in Europe, a meditation retreat, and I was
on my way back, and I was coming back before
everyone else because I had to get to a different commitment,
(11:47):
whatever it may have been at the time. And I
remember that I got late to the airport, I missed
my flight, and at the time I didn't have a
lot of money, so I didn't really have enough money
to book the next flo I remember waiting at the
airport for nearly might have been like twelve to eighteen
hours overnight in an airport that I didn't feel fully
(12:09):
comfortable in and didn't know anyone in and didn't know
how to get by. I didn't have enough money to
book my next flight, and I got very, very lucky
that I got to come home because the airliner was
very kind and it really built my confidence. Now, first
of all, it taught me never to come late to
an airport ever again. So now I'm that person who
turns up to every flight three hours early, and it
drives my wife crazy because she wants to have that
(12:33):
adrenaline feeling of running onto the plane. Whoever you are,
you're all weirdos, right, like people who want to run
onto the plane. I never want to be late again.
I know what it feels like to sleep there without
knowing what's going to happen and figuring it out. I
don't want to be in that position again. And I
find that traveling alone really builds your confidence. You choose
your hotel, you book your hotel, you plan an itinery.
(12:55):
You develop so many skills in the process. And I
know you're saying that that sounds basic, Well it doesn't.
When you travel alone, you have to have the skill
of mapping out your day, mapping out your journey. You're
learning to trust yourself. You're learning to build the skills
and habits you need to function in the real world.
(13:15):
And I found so many people that I've recommended solo
travel to they come back and they say, I feel
so much more confident. I feel so much more self
assured in my abilities and my skills. And one thing
I found is that your confidence also grows because you're
getting to talk to people from different backgrounds, different walks
(13:37):
of life. You have to navigate things not working out.
And I'll get back to that in a second reason
number three and lesson number three, is it truly expands
your worldview. I find that often we can live in
such a cocoon, and it's easy when you travel to
notice different sceneries. It's easy to notice different architecture, it's
(13:59):
easy to notice different you know, like the obvious things
of whether there's a Starbucks there or not. But really
what travel does is it shows you what a society,
what a community, what a town values. It shows you
what a place believes. In the way I'd like to
(14:21):
think about this is think about what's at the center
of a town. When you travel to certain cities, certain towns,
certain countries, focus on what's at the center of it.
It gives you an idea of the values of that place.
It gives you an idea of the essence of that place.
Think about what the tallest tourist attraction is there, what's
(14:43):
the highest building monument, what is it? It tells you
a bit about what that city sees as powerful and
as an important thing in that city. So think about
what's at the center, think about what's highest, and think
about what the country represents in terms of figuring out
what's the biggest festival that happens there. You learn so
(15:05):
much about a city or a town or a country
by the festivities, and ultimately you learn the most by
speaking to the people there, which I'll get on too
in a second as well. And so I really feel
that there are certain methods, and those being my favorite ones.
What's at the center of a city, what's the highest
monument building part of a city? What is that? And
(15:28):
how do they preserve nature. That's the third thing. How
do they look after nature in that place? What does
the nature say about that city, that town? And of
course if you're in the countryside, what experience do you
get of nature? What are the festivals, what are the
key events that that city, town, or country hosts. This
(15:49):
gives you a real sense of what that place is
all about. And often we can miss it. We can
just kind of get caught in, you know, going out
to a restaurant and hitting a tourist attraction and not
really getting to the since the roots of what defines
that country. But it's a really beautiful, simple exercise to
give that a go. And you know, traveling pushes you
to adapt and grow in ways you might not expect.
(16:11):
And one of the things I love about booking dot
Com is that you can book the experiences that let
you experience and explore different sides of yourself and the place. So,
whether you want to relax or venture into a new territory,
booking dot Com helps you plan for whoever you want
to be on your trip. And I think that's a
really important part of this idea of expanding your worldview.
(16:34):
Are you trying to expand it historically, culturally, socially, food wise,
language wise. It's a beautiful way to think about travel.
It took me years to think about traveling that way.
I used to think about travelers have been there and
have been there, done that, And then I start to
realize what a you know, what a not great way
to travel. That was Number four comes from the confidence piece,
(16:56):
but an important one nevertheless, self reliance and problem solving.
This one's probably my favorite. I'm sure if you ever
tried traveling on your own or even with a small
group of friends, you're bound to encounter some challenges. Now
this is not including safety challenges. And you know, I
want to make sure that you're traveling safely. I want
to make sure that you're traveling, you know, in a
(17:18):
place and in a way that is protecting you from
any harm. But what I mean is you may have
to problem solve. You may have a flight get canceled,
you may need to jump on a train, you may
need to learn how to use the local system. I
remember some really horrifying experiences as a kid where I
saw my parents problem solving, and actually watching them problem
(17:39):
solve gave me a sense of self reliance in seeing
how they navigated very difficult things. I remember once in
a city we didn't know how to take their subway system,
and my parents maybe didn't get something stamped or whatever
it was. And I remember like being separated from my
parents and being held in a separate room, and I
(18:00):
could see my parents being shouted at and they took
our passports, and it was a really uncomfortable, nerve wracking
experience for my parents and for me and my sister,
who were very young at the time. And that isn't
an experience I'd want anyone to have, but watching my parents'
problem solve even I mean back in the day, I'd
used to see my parents pull out a map and
navigate it or ask for help. And I think all
(18:23):
of those skills are really powerful in today's world, where,
of course we've become reliant on Google Maps. We don't
need to ask for directions anymore, we don't need to
learn how to read a map. But I think there
are a lot of other aspects that you grow in
when you travel alone, of self reliance and problem solving,
and I think that a lot of us today are
(18:43):
looking for that. We've become so overreligned and dependent on others.
We crowdsource everything from what outfit should I wear tonight
all the way through to is this job right for me?
Or do you think I'm going to get picked right?
We crowdsource everything. When you travel alone, you get the
opportunity to problem solve and be reliant on yourself. And
(19:06):
one way to keep things stress free is by booking
with booking dot Com because what I've loved is that
they offer twenty four to seven customer service and helpful guides,
so you can follow your itinery with these no matter
how complex it gets. So you can actually take the
stress out of travel by planning ahead so you can
focus on the experience and take care of yourself throughout
(19:28):
the journey. And I think that's a really important touch
and a part of travel, especially when you're learning to
travel alone. And sometimes we underestimate these things when we're
traveling with friends. You know, you always kind of figure
it out with friends, but you know when you're on
your own, there's a deep sense of self reliance and
problem solving that that gets filled.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Number five is mastering your mind. So this is the
one I wanted to get to because I know a
lot of you will be thinking right now. I have
no idea how I do this, and I don't want
to lie to you and tell you it's easier. I'm
not going to just say to you, yeah, get on
with it. I actually empathize with it. We're living at
a time where we're so used to being surrounded by people.
(20:11):
We're so used to having noise and clutter in our mind,
in our space wherever we are, and I feel traveling
alone actually helps you master your mind. The first few days,
it's uncomfortable, the noise and the chatter. Oh my gosh,
I'm bored. Oh my gosh, Why did I do this?
Why did I come here on my own? What am
(20:31):
I doing to myself? What is this? This is not right.
I'm scared, I'm fearful, I'm insecure. Whatever it is right,
You're going to hear all of that, and day two
will get a little quieter, and day three it will
get a little quieter. You're actually learning to master on
the mind, to still the mind, to experience the mind
in its most extreme sense of fear and then allowing
(20:53):
it to dissipate, and noticing that you have the ability
to calm and still your mind when you travel alone. Yes,
there will be anxiety. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes,
it is taking you out of your comfort zone. For sure.
It's doing all of that right, it's doing all of that,
but it's also just giving you space to say I
(21:17):
can actually acknowledge the voice of my head. I don't
have to listen to it. I don't have to follow it.
I don't have to be totally set of course for it.
I can listen to it, I can hear it, and
then I can choose what I want to do with it.
Letting your mind slowly get quieter really allows you to
build mindfulness. It really allows you to build that sense
(21:40):
of I don't always have to listen to the voice
of my head. I don't always have to follow the
loudest shout in my mind. I can learn to allow
it to come and go and then listen to what remains.
Number six, you really challenge yourself to beat boredom and distractions.
I'm sure you have a long list of podcasts you
(22:01):
want to listen to a long list of books. I'm
taking a three day solo trip this week, and I
am so excited because there are so many books that
have been sitting on my desk in my bag, and
I really haven't managed to open up, and I am
so looking forward to diving deep. And I know that
in three days I can do some serious damage onto
my reading list, and I know just being present with
(22:22):
that is going to be so powerful for me. Now
I'm obviously reading a lot of growth, a lot of
personal development nonfiction. But even if you've been waiting to
escape into a book, I feel like when you solo travel,
you get to almost feel like you're a part of
that story. You get to feel like you're a part
of that experience. And so challenge yourself to beat boredom,
(22:44):
to beat distractions, to always be on your phone when
you're in another country, another space, another environment, another energy,
another city or town you don't have to travel to
another country. It's incredible what you can achieve in terms
of productivity, createivity, and just being able to disconnect from
what you're used to disconnect from what you're usually surrounded by.
(23:07):
It's super powerful. Number seven is vigilance. I think this
is a really powerful trait and I think some of
us have it, some of us don't, and a lot
of us need to develop it. What I mean by
this is can you read a room. I find that
when you're surrounded by people you're used to being surrounded by,
(23:28):
you're no longer reading the room. You're predicting the room. Right,
It's like Google, where it's predicting your search. It's not
reading it in the sense of it's not feeling it,
it's not experiencing it. You are, but you're predicting it.
You know how your dad's going to behave, you know
how your friend behaves in a certain situation. What happens
with that is we lose our ability to be hyper vigilant. Now,
(23:49):
when you're new surroundings in new spaces, you're actually just
getting a sense of the temperaments of the people. You're
getting a sense of the energy and the space. You're
actually high your ability to tune in to your intuition
the energy around you, and how you feel about it. Now,
you may say, Jay, that sounds like anxiety to me.
(24:09):
It can be anxiety inducing, but it can also be
a really powerful skill if seen in that way. You're
learning how to navigate conversations with different people from different backgrounds.
You're learning how to navigate a conversation with someone in
a different language. You're learning to be vigilant in certain spaces.
I remember getting lost in a town I was in
a couple of a few years back now, and I
(24:30):
wanted to find a way out, and I had to
be extra vigilant about my surroundings to make sure I
felt safe. And so I think you take safety more
seriously and you can bring that back into your life.
And I use the word vigilance because it's almost like
you're good at reading your surroundings. You're good at knowing
what's in your periphery, which sometimes we switch off when
(24:51):
we haven't been to a new place for a long time.
I think that number eight is obvious, but it's important
for me to say getting to know diverse people potential
friends for life. I think when you travel, especially on
your own, there's a certain feeling that you want to
get to know people. Now, of course, you want to
be safe about this, but you start learning how many
(25:15):
amazing people around the world, what kind of beautiful backgrounds
around the world, the amount of trust we can build
with other humans who are walking a different path and
a different background from us. I encourage you to find
people in places of similar value, service based projects, people
who are involved in this particular sport that you love abroad.
(25:36):
I think it's a wonderful way to connect with potential
friends for life, and this one's one of my favorites.
When you travel alone, there's no stimulation and no one
else to worry about. A Lot of the time when
we're traveling, one of the most anxiety inducing things is
making sure everyone's happy. Has everyone eaten? Is everyone happy
(25:56):
with how it's going? Is everyone having a good time?
I think having a good time? On they're not having
a good time. Are we having a good time. I'm
not having a good time. Cliques develop, whatever it may be.
You get to truly recharge, You get to truly focus
on yourself. You get to give yourself the attention and
the patience and the time that you deserve that you
often don't give to yourself. I really hope this inspires
(26:19):
you to take a solo journey. I hope you also
tell me where you went and what you learned. That's
what I'd love to know. If you're listening to this
right now and you're feeling inspired and you feel called
to go somewhere, tag me in a story, share it
on TikTok, Let me know where you're going because I'm very,
very excited for you. Thank you so much for listening.
I'm always rooting for you and forever in your corner,
(26:42):
and I'm so glad I've got to spend this time
with you. I'm always traveling for work, whether it's for
a podcast recording, a shoot, or a speaking engagement. But
what I love most about traveling is that it allows
me to discover new sides of myself. Whether I'm trying
new foods, meeting new people, or stepping into different cultures.
Each time helps me grow and learn in ways they
(27:02):
didn't expect. That's why I always use booking dot Com.
They make it easy to not only find the perfect
place to stay, but also to explore new environments and
discover parts of myself I hadn't tapped into before. With
their AI powered trip planner, I get personalized recommendations that
make every trip feel fresh, and the verified reviews give
me confidence that I'm always choosing the right spot today.
(27:25):
I want to use this time we have together to
share my favorite lessons from traveling and why it might
just be time for you to go on a solo trip.
I can't wait. Let's go on this journey together to
plan and travel with confidence. Use booking dot com to
find your next destination. It's the perfect place to book
any kind of trip. To get the most out of travel,
go to booking dot com now to book your next trip.
(27:48):
That's Booking dot Com Booking dot yeh.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
If you love this podcast, you love my episode with
Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should
stop chasing societies definely of success and how to be
more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss
it like. It's not about being perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
It's about just every day, one step at a time,
trying to be better, trying to do more.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
I'm learning a lot about myself.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I have to break myself down in order to be
able to be better.
Host
Jay Shetty
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Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Come hang with Amy Poehler. Each week on her podcast, she'll welcome celebrities and fun people to her studio. They'll share stories about their careers, mutual friends, shared enthusiasms, and most importantly, what's been making them laugh. This podcast is not about trying to make you better or giving advice. Amy just wants to have a good time.