Becky G ON: Finding Your Sense of Belonging & How to Masterfully Block Negativity and Rejection

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm very proud of myself for having made it through
those moments. I didn't know that that was like my
body physically telling me something's wrong. You're a singer, actress, activists,
all those superstar Please.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome Becky Gee.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
When you start in a career as young as I did,
it's very much so like put your head down, get
it done, get it done, get it done, get it done,
and then you like blink and then you're like, oh snap,
I'm twenty six.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite
you to join this community to hear more interviews that
will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All
I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.
I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments,
and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go
on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing.

(00:50):
It means the world to me.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
The best selling authoring post the number one health and
wellness podcast, I'm Purpose with Jay Shedding.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier,
and more healed. You know that our goal here is
to only sell stories that are going to make us
feel better, to make us improve ourselves, to make us
connect with ourselves in a more authentic and deep way.

(01:20):
And today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have
on the show for years now, so I'm so happy
that she's finally in this seat. I'm talking about multi
platinum award winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist Becky g
who is born for the Spotlight, and her multifaceted career
has proven Becky to be one of the most influential

(01:41):
artists of her generation. The twenty six year old Global
Superstars long list of achievements include four Latin Grammy nominations,
four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay charts,
and her debut album Mala Sante certified eight times platinum
in the United States, platinum in Spain, and gold in Mexico,

(02:01):
putting Becky at over eight point nine billion global career
streams to date. Today, we're talking about her new album, Eskinas.
Did I say that right?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah? You did.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Welcome to the show, Becky, what's going on? Wow?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I feel like I was holding my breath that whole
time because I was like, Jennie Sheddy is totally just
giving the whole feel of my entire career layout. And
I admire you so much and I'm so happy to
be here, and the same way you've been trying to
get me to sit in this chair in front of
you for so long. I feel like everything just happens
for a reason, with purpose on purpose, and I'm ready

(02:37):
for the triple h man, I'm ready for it.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I love it. Why was now the right time for
you personally? Earlier you were just mentioning that you know,
you and Rody bumped into each other last week, and
you're saying now is a time where you've been looking
for the signs like why, why is now a good
time for you to be talking and sharing? Why are
you feeling that way?

Speaker 1 (02:55):
I feel like I'm in a time in my life where, well,
I mean, if we go all the way back to
like when I was young, I'm such an observer, like
I'm a little sponge.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
I taken everything around me, but especially.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
Like when you start in a career as young as
I did, it's very much so like put your head
down get it done, get it done, get it done,
get it done, and you just keep going and you
keep going, and then you like blink and then you're like, oh, snap,
I'm twenty six, Like look at all the things around me,
Like what is this?

Speaker 3 (03:24):
What's actually happening?

Speaker 1 (03:26):
And so there's a little bit of an awakening I
would say that's happening in this season of my life
of a deeper sense of self, a desire to expand,
and so as I look around and invite these signs,
it just it's beautiful when it's really like affirmed by
the universe that like there's no better time than now.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Absolutely, And what was it that got you started so young?
Like how and why did that even come about for you?

Speaker 1 (03:54):
I think, well, I love making people smile, that's for sure.
I grew up in a very big family. So I'm
one of four kids. I'm the eldest, and then I
have my brother Frankie, my brother Alex, and my baby
sister Stephanie. And we were just like this dynamic four,
fantastic four, always like we didn't do anything without each other.

(04:15):
And I feel like we all just were so different,
but we all had this sense of belonging because of
how nurturing my mom was about our differences and how
you know, one could like this color, but you can
also like a different color. And Frankie you like to
play sports, but be you like to dance, and Stephanie
you love to cook. And we were just very free

(04:35):
to be ourselves at home. I felt so lucky to
experience that at such a young age, but I felt
so misunderstood outside of that space because I realized, wow,
like there's a lot of social constructs that don't allow
us to really be that true, authentic version of ourself.
And so I was just like hell ben on making
sure that other people felt seen and felt heard and

(04:57):
felt loved the same way I got to when I
was younger. And so yeah, I think it started with
that desire, that desire to make people feel connection, you know,
for me to feel connection with someone else outside of
that space as well.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Absolutely, And I feel like we're all everything we all
do is wanting to feel connected, right, whether we're crying
or whether we're laughing, or whether we're reaching out for
help or we're reaching out to help, Like all of
it almost seems to be a cry for connection. We're
all wanting to feel that. And you've talked a lot
about this concept of the two hundred percent, which is

(05:30):
what this new album is based on your roots, and
I love that idea. Can you explain it because it's
the first time I'd heard about it in that way
and I really really appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Yeah, of course. Well I okay.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
So I'm Mexican American. I was born and raised here
in LA And it's interesting to me how I always
like it was always like the fifty to fifty, you know,
you're half this, half that, And I didn't like that.
There was something about that that never sat well with me,
and I think it's because it made me feel like
in order to be accepted here, I have to give
up a part of myself, and in order to be
accepted there, I have to give up a part of myself.

(06:05):
And in reality, it's like I am who I am.
I shouldn't have to give up any of who it
is that is my true authentic being to be accepted somewhere,
to fit into this this space, this shape right that
doesn't feel organic to me, that doesn't feel natural to me.
And it was a little like micro like experiences like

(06:26):
even hanging around my cousins who were from Mexico, and
I'm telling me I was American, and I'm like, well,
I guess technically, yeah, but like I don't know when
I'm in America, they tell me that I'm Mexican, So
which one am I? And there's this this saying in Spanish,
you know, Nidia qui, Nidia yah, You're not from here,
You're not from there? And then I would respond to

(06:47):
that and Ton says on the Miquel like, well in
that kid, where do I stay? Like where do I belong?
You know? And so it's kind of like rewriting that
to say, like no sisoy like I am, I am
from here and from there csaki eia yeah, you know.
And it's kind of what inspired the album Mesquinas, because
I am not this side or that side of the

(07:07):
streets that raise me. I am the corner of two flags,
two cultures, two languages, and I know I'm not the
only one, you know, not just within the Latin community even,
but i'd say, and I have so many friends who
I mean, I don't know that. Do you feel like
you have a two hundred percent experience sometimes?

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah? Well I love that. That's why I love the
way you put it, and even just now, the way
you explain that is so beautiful and elegant, Like it
really resonates with me. I love that idea about not
having to be half of this and half of that.
I actually experienced it even more in the roles I've
played in the world, and so I often say to
people that I'm as much the monk mindset as I

(07:46):
am the manager in my work, as I am the
media person, as I am now a married person, like
all of that is me. I'm not one or the other,
because I often get that where it's like, oh, Jay,
it used to be a monk and now you have
companies and you're married and do this and that, and
I'm like, yeah, but the two things can coexist for
me as an identity because there's so much from that

(08:09):
that I love and relate to, and then there's so
much from this that I love and relate to. And
again with being born in London, but my parents are
from originally from India, but then my mother is from Yemen,
and so there's so many cross sections in my background.
And then I'm someone who's born and raised in London
but now lives in la and so there's that intersection,

(08:31):
and I love the idea of how we can all
be so much more than what our passport says, or
than what our job title says, or then what our
bank balance says or whatever it may be, Like we're
all so much more. So I think by you saying that,
And I love the idea of the street corner. Yeah,
that's that's really cool because that's all the cool stuff

(08:51):
happens on the corner, not on either side of the
street anyway.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
I mean totally. And if you're from La, you know,
that's where all the best fruit stands are and the
best tagos thing. So, but I yeah, it's the intersectionality.
That's what it is, exactly what it is. It's like
where all of these things meet, all the spaces in between,
you know, And I think that's there's so much beauty

(09:14):
in it. But I think unfortunately there's you know, systems
that make us think that they're wrong, but in reality
it's just an old programming that doesn't necessarily work anymore.
And that's okay too, you know. And I love what
you said about letting you know all the truths exist,
because that's something that I think growing up I felt

(09:35):
society tells you you how to think very black and white,
and I'm like life is in color for a reason,
you know, like we should be seeing life and color.
There's so much going on around us, and I like
to think that, you know, this vessel I'm very thankful for.
I'm very thankful for the vessel that allows me to
experience this life. But my spirit is so much bigger.

(09:56):
My soul needs to expand, you know. And the same
way we can experience such beauty, we can experience pain.
And there's all these like opposites of everything, and then
it's the spaces in between that kind of just tie
it all together, you know. I love that there's purpose
in that.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
How did you go about that journey of giving yourself
permission to belong in both?

Speaker 3 (10:17):
It just it felt like I could only.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Stay in that like uncomfortable position for so long. You know,
you're sleeping on a plane, yeah, and you're so tired,
like you will fall asleep anyway, But then there's like
that half hour that goes by when you wake up
and you're like, my leg is dead and I can't
feel my neck and it hurts, and this is not
like this isn't good. Quality sleep, like I can't wait
until I get into my bed. Yeah, And I felt

(10:41):
like I would feel that way sometimes, like I could
stay here for just a little bit, you know, but
it didn't feel very long lasting. And I think that
there just comes a time where if you allow yourself to,
like you said, give yourself permission to even just explore
what could be on the other side, to explore that
maybe I don't want to sleep on the plane, maybe
I do want to sleep in my bed, and I

(11:02):
can't right now, and that's okay, But I can't wait
for the day, you know, or the time that comes
and look forward to it. And so I would always
look forward to the day that like I wouldn't be
compared to like another artist that like literally looked nothing
like me, spoke nothing like me, and I'd be like,
I don't want to be them. I want to be Becky, you.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Know, like.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
And I was so young, already feeling that way, growing
up in this industry. And it was those boxes, man,
it was those boxes that just like I knew I
could check them. I knew I could check those boxes
and make other people happy. But there came a point,
I think when I decided honestly, to pursue singing Spanish
music was that turning point for me, and it was

(11:43):
it was because I was going to be facing my
biggest fear, which was, Okay, well i am American and
I've started a professional career singing music in English, but
I've always repped my Latini dad. But now me singing
in Spanish don't know if I'll be accepted there. And
that was like really scary because the only real point

(12:05):
of reference I had was the Queen Selina Quintania, who
you know, unfortunately is no longer with us, and so
I just remember being like there's a scene in the
movie where her dad says, you have to be more
Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans.
It's exhausting, and he says it like that too, it's exhausting,

(12:26):
and I'm like, yeah, your girls tired, man, I'm tired.
Like I just want to be I just want to
be who I am. And the truth is is, like
I think, when you lean into the authenticity of just knowing,
like I got to make myself happy and this really
does make me happy, there's gotta be something on the
other side of that. And little did I know I

(12:46):
was gonna be confronted with so many other you know,
obstacles in Latin culture that totally didn't want me to succeed,
you know, the Machies mole that exists. The amount of times, know,
the labels will say, you know, girls on sell tickets,
they don't get played on the radio, all kinds of stuff,
and I like to think, you know, we're here, we're

(13:08):
doing it, so there must be something.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Right, you know, doing a lot right? Yeah, a lot right.
Tell me about that that fear that you had in
terms of like, I've started my career singing in English
now and moving over, will I be accepted? Yeah? And
that fear is really displacing too again when you're like,
I'm from here and I'm from there as well. What
was it inside of you that pushed you to say

(13:33):
I'm going to do this anyway? Like, what was it
that gave you the courage and strength? Because I can
imagine there's so many people who are listening and watching
right now who are thinking, I don't want to do
that because I don't want to be seen that way,
or I don't want to do that because someone's going
to put me in a box or someone's going to
push me back. Like we all have these doubts in
our own ways. What was it that helped you overcome

(13:53):
that doubt?

Speaker 1 (13:54):
I think remembering what someone like Selena did for me
and understanding that like like somebody's got to do it
like and not like so I now I have to.
It really came from a place of truly desiring and
wanting to do that for myself because I know I
deserved that space, and the same way I believe I

(14:16):
deserve that space, I believe there's so many other talented
young women that deserve that space. And so you know,
brick by brick, and if I only bring one brick
to this to this bridge, that's fine.

Speaker 4 (14:27):
So be it.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
But we need it. There isn't There's a need for this,
and I want to be a part of that. And
I think that was really inspiring for me to be
able to like take agency in that way and know
that there was a lot of like naysayers that were
like not believing, but then also knowing like the same
way I was in that nurturing household where I was
allowed to be different, like we're going to keep building

(14:49):
spaces like that, like we need that in the systems
that are, you know, continuing because they're not sustainable. Somebody's
got to shake it up. And so and I remember
being a part of like specifically the Latin industry at
that time, and I think it was my intersectionality that
made it kind of less intimidating for me, because I

(15:11):
was like, I know what it's like to not be
accepted here, like because it happened on the other side.
So there's nothing you can tell me here that I
haven't already heard. You know.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
It's fascinating, isn't it That when you're young, you're forced
to fit in, and then as you get older, it's
all about how do you stand out?

Speaker 3 (15:28):
Yep?

Speaker 2 (15:28):
And it doesn't make any sense because it's so counterintuitive.
Your whole life, you've been told stand in line, do
as they do, do as I say, and everyone's told
to conform. And as you get older, it's like, well,
how do you brand yourself? How do you market yourself?
What's unique about you? But you've been told to hide
all of your uniqueness, all right, You've been told to

(15:49):
hide all of it. So it's almost like we're trying
to figure out what that uniqueness is I love your
idea about or the vision that you just painted for
all of us is like how we're all just laying
another brick on the bridge. That's such a beautiful way
to think about it. And I wonder how instrumental your
grandfather was in this whole journey for you. I know

(16:09):
that this album is inspired dedicated to and you sadly
lost him a few years ago, But tell us a
bit about why family has been so important to you,
but particularly him, and I can see you taking it
for those who are not watching. Yeah, big deep breasts
from Becky.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yeah, No, I think it's because I mean to understand
that we come from something so much bigger than us
is so powerful, sometimes overwhelming, I think for a lot
of us mixed ethnicity kids, because you know, we're not
just walking into a room with our dreams. We're walking
into a room with our dreams and then the dreams
of the generations before. Not just into a room with

(16:49):
our own sacrifices, but the sacrifices of those before. All
of the stuff that you know can feel very heavy sometimes,
but then those two truths can exist at the same
time that I really here so strongly in the back
of my subconscious, which is that it can be really heavy,
but such an honor and there's a power in that

(17:11):
to come from people who have had to make something
out of nothing, and if they did, you can too.
My grandfather, Miguel Gomez get his gun simpass. He is
one of the greatest men I think I've ever gotten
to know in this life. And I feel this way
about all my grandparents. Like to have had all four
of my grandparents so present in my life and to

(17:32):
be a part of the village that raised me, you know,
is such an honor to me. And when he passed away,
and him being you know, my first grandparent, that that
I lose, just that that thing that I hold on
to is that although again his vessel may no longer
be with me, that guidance, that that honor that it
is to carry that that superpower with me is just

(17:55):
it's so incredibly motivating and so inspirational, and I think
there's there's a lot there that when I look back
at it, you know, he was really a big part
as to why I started pursuing this because a lot
of my grandparents, I mean, they didn't finish their education,
so they all started working very very young, and that

(18:15):
was the social norm in Mexico, you know, in Mexico
like that that was part of you know, part of
what it was.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
You don't finish school, you work to help your family.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Obviously, we live in America and there's such a thing
as child labor law, so it wasn't the same thing
for me. But the concept of being nine years old
and working to provide for my family and going out
in the streets and hustling like it didn't feel like
a absolute no to me. It felt like, well, if
they did it, I can do it too, you know.
And to see everything that my grandparents have built, I mean,
my grandmother talks about all the day, she says, he

(18:46):
but like her little village. She's so thankful to God
for her little village that she created, you know, with
my grandpa. And it's just like, yeah, like y'all really
did that, and we're all just this ever growing tree
of and of those roots, you know, and so so yeah,
he's he's with me every day.

Speaker 3 (19:05):
I feel it.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
That's beautiful. Yeah, you can kind of see that energy
coming through you right now as well. It's like it's
evident that he has a place in your heart that's
really deep and special and it must it must be
so powerful to be able to use that to give
back and to connect with people.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Definitely.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
And I think it's like it's their humanness, you know,
it's seeing their old age, like even seeing like they
once could and now they can't physically, but we can,
you know, so like how do we carry that on?
It's just it's it's so beautiful and so empowering and
so just knowing that even when we're no longer here,

(19:44):
like things stay, like there's an energy there that stays.
There's something so meaningful and so purposeful to our every
word and interaction shared. It's just like you want to
live a life that is of substance, you know, Like
I don't want to just lollygag and just you know,

(20:04):
I mean maybe every now and then, don't get me wrong,
but but no, I mean it in the way of
just like even in the simplest of things, just like
living in gratitude.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Beggy, you grew up in the public eye, and you
know you've grown up in the public eye too, And
it's the idea of growing up, growing up, yeah, up,
growing up, Yeah, growing up in the public eye. What
would you say, have been the pros of that? Like
what really great lessons have you kind of taken on,
and what have been some of the challenges that you're

(20:33):
still trying to figure out that you still feel you
struggle with sometimes.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah, I think it's interesting. I don't think I saw
many of the cons to it as a kid, because
I was just like, wow, like this is so cool
space to just be and be yourself. And then you
don't really realize how you're exposing yourself, like beyond what
then the average person like usually gets exposed to. And
it's not just like the support, it's also the opposite

(20:59):
of what support is, right, people having a thought and
a say or an intention that isn't always positive against
everything that you do. And it wasn't until you were
like a teenager and you're getting made fun of for
the way you dress or what your teeth look like
or having acne or whatever, and you're like, wow, you're

(21:19):
really wearing these things, like you're really wearing it. And
then you know, on top of that, you're dealing with
I mean, for me, I was dealing with, you know,
the pressures to provide for my family, So like I'm
really showing up as my best self because there's too
much writing on the line.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
It's not just me, it's everybody who's walking in the
room with me.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
So when you are kind of put in this place
where you were, you feel almost attacked sometimes, or you know,
you feel let down, You don't feel as supported as
you thought you would. You start to question, like, oh,
is this a safe space? Is this? Is this what
it's supposed Is this what I signed up for? Because
that's what everybody's telling me, this is what you signed

(21:58):
up for, This is what you signed up for. And
it's like, as I've continued to grow up in this space,
I think the biggest lesson for me is just like
maybe I'm.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
Not supposed to be like to by everybody.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Maybe that's not the goal, you know, maybe I'm not
Maybe I'm not supposed to be for everyone. Maybe I
can be a little bit more sacred with my energy,
you know, maybe I don't have to be on social
media twenty four to seven. You know, like, maybe I
can remember that there's a real world out there with
real people, and quality connection matters, not the quantity of

(22:31):
connections I make. And so I think that like for me,
going from literal baby Becky fourteen years old getting discovered
on the Internet, to the twenty six year old that
is still figuring out how to practice those boundaries every
single day.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yeah, it's like the biggest takeaway for me.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Yeah, And that realization that we're not for everyone is
really difficult to swallow because I feel like our whole
life we've been trained to kind of be people who
make everyone around us happy. We've been trained to be
that way, conditioned, like we make people smile. Or you

(23:11):
with the peace maker in your family, or you were
the change maker in your family, or you with the
person who kind of you know, communicated individually and mediated
with your family, Like, we've all played roles, and most
of those roles revolve around us being liked or doing
things to be liked. And all of a sudden, you
grow up, and especially if you have a large public platform,

(23:34):
and even if you don't have a large public platform,
just growing up, you go to work and you have family.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
It's crazy to I was literally gonna introduct right there
to say you do not have to be someone with
a platform like ours to know what this pressure is
like today. Agree, And that actually makes me so fearful
for the future generations because we are constantly comparing ourselves
to everyone's greatest hits, and that is really really hard
to leave any room, any space for grace, for growth,

(24:05):
you know, because there's this fear, this fear of messing up,
saying the wrong thing or whatever. And it's just like
that's actually part of learning. We have to leave room
to learn, and I think it's also learning that we
can be something different. I was thinking about this the
other day and I had a conversation with like a
really close friend of mine about how it's wild to

(24:25):
me that I've shared so much of my life on
the internet since such a young age and because I
shared that, you know, my favorite flavor of ice cream
seven years ago was chocolate, that someone can come across
that today and be like, oh, she's a chocolate ice
cream loving girly and like.

Speaker 5 (24:43):
Little do they know, like I don't really like ice
cream anymore, but like I don't even have a favorite
flavor actually for for frozen yogurts, you know, and there's
like seven years but because someone can come across that,
you know today, it can be like, no, that's who
she is, and.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Unless it's documented, you can't tell me any different, you know.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
But it's like I think it's leaving space that like
I can change my mind. I mean, I could love live,
scream tomorrow who knows, you know, and that's totally possible.
But on a deeper level, it's interesting you were saying something.
There's a book that I read called The Family on Bradshaw,
and it really blew my mind about the rigid roles
that we play in like family systems, and we find
so much purpose in that, but then we get so

(25:24):
attached to what that role is to forget that, like
we have.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
To go out into the world and like learn more,
you know.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Like it terrifies me sometimes when I think about that,
because I feel like I've lived so much life in
my twenty six years, and I'm like.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Wait, there's more.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
You're telling me there's more. I should be inspired and
excited at that idea, and a part of me is,
but then there's another part of me that's absolutely terrified,
you know. And I think it's again leaving room for
those two truths to exist. And usually when it's terrifying,
I think it's because it's right for you, you know
what I mean, Like it's supposed to be scary, like

(26:00):
just at least just a little bit to like ignite
that thing in you that really like catches your soul
on fire and says I was made for this.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
You know, and I'm so happy that I did it.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
You know.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, how hard was it for you? You just talked
about there where you're like, maybe I want to be
someone who experiences the real world. Maybe I do want
to switch up from social media, like as a public figure,
and even in our friend circles, like I remember when
I quit drinking alcohol and when I went back to
my friend group that was used to me drinking alcohol
and being a certain person at the party and now

(26:34):
I don't. It was a complete switch. I wasn't I
didn't have a public platform, I wasn't known. But even
in my group or my community, it was like, wait
a minute, Jay, have you changed right? Or when I
stopped doing certain things and when I started doing certain things.
We all go through these like identity deaths of who
we were and who we wanted to be to who
we are today. And when you're trying to make a

(26:56):
transition like not being as active on social media or
you're trying to make it transition of I don't go
to those places anymore. Whatever it may be, I feel
we all go through this moment of identity shifts, and
it sounds like you've had to do that too. What
has helped you make those as smooth as they can be,
or what has happened when you've made those shifts and

(27:17):
what have you.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Dealt with I'm laughing because Jay, it's so not smooth,
like it's so rough out here. It's very new for me.
It is so new. I have lived more of my
life this way than I have practicing trying something new.
But it makes me very proud of myself to know

(27:37):
that I can look at myself every day in the
mirror and say, I know it's going to be really hard,
and it's going to be challenging, and there's going to
be things that trigger a response from you. Maybe that
you are that is second nature. We are going to
take time to process. We're gonna add some filters in
your process that are better for you, because there's better

(27:59):
ways to deal with things. There's better ways than having
to just like promote your pain. You know, somebody the
other day is so funny. Somebody the other day mentioned
to be like, what's up with all these young kids
posting videos of themselves crying on the internet, and I said,
first of all, that's really mean, because literally, you know,
maybe they're seeking for connection. And second of all, I've

(28:21):
totally done that, damn it. I'm guilty. I'm so guilty
of it.

Speaker 3 (28:26):
But are there times where I wish I didn't?

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Absolutely because maybe not everybody needed to see that. I
wanted to be seen so badly. But who am I
seeking that from? Why am I seeking that from the
world when maybe it's really within myself? And so that
daily practice for me is still very new, but it's
doing things differently, willing to what's that saying, you won't

(28:53):
You got to be willing to do something you've never
done in order to get the result you've never had, Right,
And so if I want to be the healthiest version
of myself, I have to be willing to look at
my daily routines mentally routine, the mental routines that I have,
the spiritual routines that I have, the physical routines that
I have, and really just be honest with myself and

(29:16):
am I setting myself up for success? You know? And
there's been hard times, like people very.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Close to me will be like, Bee, we had this conversation.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
We've had this conversation, and they very lovingly hold space
for me to come back around and be like you're right. Yeah,
you're so right, you know. But it's like just understanding
that we are constantly, always in process.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, yeah, let's walk through some of those actually, because
we love doing that on purpose. You mentioned mental, spiritual,
and physical routines. Let's talk about some of the Let's
start with the mental routines. What are some daily routines
or habits or practices that you've been working on.

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Okay, so shout out to my therapist because she's taught.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Me the three legs.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Therapists, I love me too.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Oh they keep it real, that's for sure. But the
three legged table is the mind, body, soul. And if
it's a table that needs to work right, it needs
to hold things on top of it. If one of
the tables is a little wobbly, or one of the
tables the legs break, it can't it can't fulfill its
purpose right, what it's intended for. And so I am

(30:22):
very much so a mind, body, soul kind of person.
And I think for me, if we're starting with the
mind just like not being on my phone the first
moments that I wake up in the morning, I didn't
realize like how second nature it was. Like even just
having like a separate alarm clock outside of my phone.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Very new for me.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Actually just started practicing that I do a social media
detox once a month, so like there's I'll literally delete
the apps from my phone completely and.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
It's the best for how long?

Speaker 3 (30:51):
For how long I do at least seven days constantly?

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, yeah, also very new, but it's working. Highly recommend
And I don't say these things to like knock anybody,
because there's some people I know that can, like very
much so be on these platforms and like are so
unphased by it, and it's great for them, and I
love that for them. But I know myself and I'm
very very sensitive. So kind of just just practicing those

(31:16):
things has been super helpful for me on the on
the mental side. And then I would say on the
spiritual side, meditating has done so much for me, Like
meditation and prayer. I think just believing and having faith
in something that is greater than you is always helpful,
you know. I think it's really hard to trust something
that you can't see that you can't physically feel or touch,
but there's also something very magical when you tap into that.

(31:39):
And there's been moments where my day will be so
crazy and I, you know, this is constantly trying to
find time. How do we reset the mind? How do
we reprogram? And I just think to myself, even after
ten minutes of meditation, there's another version of me on
the other side of that that.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
Will be so much better, so much capable.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
What part of me can't give myself ten minutes today
like that that spiritual like tapp in and like recentering
for me is.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Special sauce.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
And what type of meditation is that for you?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
What I did? Meditation still for me because we've got
a lot of thoughts these days, you know, and it's
hard to silence them. But uh, it's sometimes.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Twice a day, you know.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
I try to do it twice a day, definitely in
the morning or sometimes when I'm in the sauna, like
post workout, to kind of just really be in my
body and then uh, and then at night. And I
also do uh do you know Wim Hoffs, Yeah, of course, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
On the show.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Oh my god, another person I would like absolutely geek
out to meet. But honestly, that that whole routine for me,
even like before shows, just really relaxes the nervous system
on that breath hold. There's like a spiritual feeling that
I have, and sometimes I'll play like frequency during and
it just like there's moments where I'm like, oh my God,

(32:56):
I'm totally coming out of my body right now and
this is so nice.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Yeah, and what about prayer.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
You mentioned prayer there, Yes, Yeah, prayer is super important.
It's funny, I grew up in a very religious household.
I'm very Mexican in that sense. My grandmothers are very Catholic,
and I'm much more spiritual than religious, i'd say, but
I think seeing them in their dedication, seeing them in
their practice was like very inspiring to me when I

(33:21):
was younger, and also the communal aspect of it too,
Like getting to pray with my grandmothers growing up is
something very sacred to me. And I just think that, yeah,
when I pray and I surrender, like like going like
God is like I.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Literally have it tattooed.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Because it's important to know that you can't control everything.
You just can't. You can control what you do, how
you react to what's going on around you. But you
can't actually control everything that's happening around you, and I
struggle with that on a daily basis.

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(35:21):
mental and spiritual. What about physical?

Speaker 1 (35:24):
There's not a version of me before this. I'd say
age that would say I love being in the gym.
I love working out so much the point where I'm like,
maybe I should prioritize sleep a little bit more than
the gym.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
But good sleep, good diet, Jim.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Like feeling strong physically and knowing that I'm taking care
of my body again, like the vessel needs to be
safe and it needs to be protected and provided for,
and so I try.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
My absolute best.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
But even in that sense, it's like, you know, not
that my indulgence self takes over, but like enjoying the
little things in life, like the balance, you know, like
I love food, so the balance of that is like,
go burn it off in the gym, girl, and you'll
be just fine.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
I love that. No, And it's so beautiful that you're
thinking about your life as those three legs to the
table or the stool in your life, because it is
so interesting to me about how as soon as you
take your eye off of one of them, how much
harder everything else becomes. And yet when those three things
are good, like you said, they can carry the weight

(36:32):
even if it's getting really really heavy. Yeah, you still
have this fighting chance almost. And I guess the thing
that I found that has really helped me in that
regard as well is making sure that I'm not trying
to solve all three at the same time. It's almost
like one at a time. Like I remember, I always
had my spiritual practice, and then I added my mental practice,

(36:53):
and then I added my physical practice. And for me,
that order worked really well. Whereas when you're trying to
all three at the same time, then too, it's almost
like saying, if you're putting a table together using your analogy,
you can't put all three legs on at the same time.
It just doesn't work that way. You got to put
one improperly. Then the other one, and then the other one.

(37:14):
I want to go back to something you said earlier.
You talked about the need for quality connections instead of
quantity connections. What is Beckyg's definition of a quality connection?
How do you view your quality connection?

Speaker 1 (37:29):
You know, I think it's it's when I feel safe
in a room to be my true authentic self. And
there's ways that my body used to tell me that that,
like this isn't authentic, Like there's something about this that
doesn't feel right, and I would stay in the room
because you're scared of how that might come off, or again,
the people pleasing tendencies totally start to come through. Right
I'm a performer by nature at this point because I've

(37:51):
been doing this for longer than I've ever not been
doing it. But I think it was just really understanding,
man Like, it feels really good when I can just
show up in me and when I'm trying to be
my authentic self. Sometimes there's a little fumbling that happens,
or just sometimes it flows. Like right now, this feels

(38:12):
like a quality connection. It's just flowing. I'm not really
thinking about what could be said or what could be
felt and how that might come off. And that feels
to me again aside from the universe and really affirms
that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And so
when I have those feelings that feel very affirmed in
a moment, that is quality connection.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
And it might be with the stranger.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
There's been times where, like, I mean, man, I'd be
at the airport sometimes just killing time because I'm totally
like my grandparents. I don't want to be late for
a fight or something, and I'm just talking to like
the person behind the bar and just like, how's your
day today, And I walk away like, oh my god,
Johnny was so sweet. I want to go to his
mom's pizza shop. Like, next time I'm in the city,
I'm coming. Because there's like a true connection that's being made.

(38:56):
And I think what we celebrate today is like followers,
Like how many fun followers you have? How many numbers
you have streaming this? And it's like that I think
is amazing when you're thinking from a business aspect, But
even then, truly like people want to support something that
is real. I want to support something that is real,
whether it be in my friendships, whether it be with

(39:18):
my family, with my team, with my fans and so, yeah,
I'd say that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
It's like that authenticity. I could feel it.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, And it's really interesting, right. You said that we
almost all have an inner compass or an inner dial
that tells us whether something feels authentic and aligned or
it doesn't, but we tend to ignore it sometimes because
of our people pleasing tendencies or whatever it may have been.

(39:48):
When is the time in your life where you feel
like you've ignored it and it's misled you or it's
led you away from feeling how you feel now where
you feel safe in yourself.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yeah, I definitely feel so re on like certain career
moments where it was very easy for me to let
other people make decisions for me, and then and then
when it wouldn't work, be like.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
Oh I should have said something, you know, Oh why
didn't I say?

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Oh? But there wasn't enough time. There just wasn't enough time.
We just and realizing, like, man, I spent some key
pivotal moments in my career feeling like I was being
far more reactive to what was happening than like proactive
and setting myself up to like fully be present, you know,
And I look back at it, and I'm like, I'm

(40:34):
very proud of myself for having made it through those moments.
But like there was moments where and this is like
even deeper on like the the experiences I used to
have with like anxiety and panic attacks. You know, I
didn't know that that was like my body physically telling
me something's wrong, Like you're not okay. But because you're

(40:55):
scared to let other people down, you're scared of what
other people might say, you push through anyways. And I realize,
like just because you can doesn't mean you should. And
I think that that's one of my most valuable lessons
for sure, because there was I mean many moments before
going on to a stage, and I mean we're talking

(41:17):
full blown tears. Can't breathe if you've had a panic attack,
you know, the world is ending. And there's also this
like subconscious part of you that's like, girl, breathe, just breathe.
You know, you know what this is, you know, but
your nervous system can't tell the difference between like the
mental bear and the.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
Real bear that's in the room.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
And there's no bears in the room, so like chill axe,
it's okay, you know, Yeah, just being really young and
in really high stress situations, Like you know, you're everybody's boss,
but technically everybody's older than you, and it's just such
an interesting dynamic to have grown up in. And so
I think that that has been the most valuable lesson
for me up until this point. You know, just like, yeah,

(41:59):
just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, that's good advice. Yeah, well said when you were
talking about people pleasing there, and that naturally happens in
environments where like you said, even though you're at the boss,
everyone's older than you. It's natural to want to please
our elders in the same way as we try to
please our parents and our family. And I know you've
worked a lot on therapy, and that's an area of
your life you've invested in deeply. How is therapy or

(42:25):
what work have you done in therapy that's helped you
identify your people pleasing tendencies and allow you to start
reframing and reshaping them, Because I think so many of
us often works so hard at pleasing people that we
end up displeasing and disconnecting from ourselves, and we don't

(42:45):
realize that in the attempt to make someone else happy,
We're making ourselves more unhappy and miserable, and the other
person's not happy either because they can tell that it's
not coming from an authentic, genuine place. It's just coming
from a place of like, I don't want to cause
any trouble. So what's some of the work that you've done,

(43:05):
or what's some of the lessons that you've been able
to illuminate about your triggers and where they come from
and reframing how do people how to move away from people? Please?

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, Well, like I said, it's definitely like a daily
practice for me. But I think a lot of the
first I would say, like the first two years of
therapy for me were very reactive to what was happening
in real time. It wasn't really comfortable with the idea
of shining a spotlight on what the root cause of
anything was.

Speaker 4 (43:32):
You know.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
It was very ambiguous in the sense of like it's
got to be this, this, this, because this happened. And
so going back to the reactiveness of the first two
years for me is funny because yeah, there was a
lot of small fires that I had to put out
in that moment. It was a very high stress time
in my career in my personal life when I had
first started therapy. But I think when I really surrendered

(43:55):
to the fact that this goes so much deeper than
just what's happening around me, but it's like how I
exist in all of it, Like that is when I
was like, oh, yeah, this cis goes a lot deeper.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
And a lot of it is you know, childhood stuff.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
And when I think about, you know, a big part
of my childhood was also shared in an industry that
you know, my parents were very very young. They knew
nothing about it, like quite literally, and even then I
like to think I came out kind of okay, but
you know, like they they couldn't really protect me from
much when it came to that stuff. And then the
fact that they were young parents when they got married

(44:30):
and had children, like they were babies raising babies, and
so there was a lot of things I had to
like learn from myself and teach for myself.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
And so I think having a lot more empathy for
myself was.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
Like a big step in therapy because it was hard
for me to accept the fact that I went without
things like what do you meet?

Speaker 3 (44:50):
But we tried our best, but.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
We did what we had to do.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
I did what I had to do.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
There was just so much resistance to the fact that
I still didn't get what I really need. And so
I think when you can just come from that space
of empathy and compassion for yourself that like everybody really
was trying, You really were trying, and it still came
out a little short. But hey, it's not too late,
like you can still learn. You can still learn, you know,

(45:14):
And and that was like I would say, yeah, third
year of therapy, and that's crazy, because you're right, it's
an investment. And even then, I mean some of the
types of work that I do, you know, I think
when you take inventory on your life, you know, like
really taking inventory on what your relationships with the people
around you in your life look like and felt like

(45:36):
from the moment you were born till this current day,
inventory on memories, you know, experiences that you've had and
your recollections of them, and then also kind of revisiting
those with those people and being like, hey, what was
your experience like in this. You know, it's the trippiest
thing for me and my siblings because I'm like, we
that has had the same parents, grow up with the

(45:57):
same four walls around us, and we're all so different
and we all process so different, right, So going back
to even the deeper level of compassionate empathy holding space
for each other in that way so beautiful. Yeah, we
didn't get to really doing that until we went into
family therapy together. So thankful for the resource and opportunity
to do that, because there's there's a lot of times

(46:17):
where I'm like, man, like we things could have gone
one or another way, and we kept choosing, you know, family,
and we got to a point where like choosing family
this ride or die.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Mentality of like oh, you know, like why do we
have to ride or die?

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Why can't we just be? You know, like nobody's going
to ask that question. And I was the big sister
who was like, you know, parentified, So I was like
I'm their parent, there am I? And They're like, we
just want you to be our big sister. We don't
need you to be our mom or our dad. And
I'm like, what do you mean I have to be?
It was like all those rigid roles and stuff. So
taking inventory was super helpful for me.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Gave me so much perspective.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
And then recently I started doing like parts work which
we're talking about all the parts, you know, like, Oh,
there's a part of me that's still a child. I'm
still freaking afraid of the dark. I the amount of
times I travel and I'm alone in my hotel room
and I'm like, I'm gonna sleep with the TV on
just so it feels like somebody's here because it's a
little scary in here. That's a part of me, you know,
that's a part of me that's still trying to figure

(47:18):
things out, still feels a little lonely, that stuffels a
little lost. There's the boss part of me that feels
super empowered and feels like such a visionary over the
career that I've built for myself and excited to like
continue to attack these like parts of the industry that
quite literally need to just be broken down, you know,
so more more of me can get in there. When
I say more of me, I mean other powerful women

(47:41):
who have you know, so much talent and so much
just to offer in these spaces.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
Yeah, it's it's beautiful. I love the parts work.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah no, And it's so beautiful to hear someone talk
about it so thoroughly and thoughtfully. And I think when
you can articulate something effectively, it means you're more likely
to be able to process it out here.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, right, when you can the feeling part yea though,
that's that's the other part, because I really I learned
this from myself. It's like, Becket, you're really good at
intellectualizing your feelings, but do you feel them? Cue the tears,
Like I on purpose sometimes have to like get myself
to that space to release because the body keeps count.

(48:23):
The body keeps score of all of what you go through,
so you can be like, yeah, I was really stressed.
I was really if you don't allow your body to
feel it somatically, like, that's the other thing that for me,
I think I find myself like that was the manifestation
of the panic attacks and things like that, Like, oh right,
anxiety depression. They're not the diagnosis, they're the result of

(48:47):
That was like whoa big knowledge for me because I
was like, oh, yeah, I just have anxiety depression and
it's normal, Like I just have patic attacks all the time.
Like no, your body is telling you something, you are
processing something that you aren't letting your body feel.

Speaker 4 (49:03):
You know.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
It's again a hard reality because allowing yourself to feel
it again. Is it almost goes back to that giving permission,
just giving ourselves permission to feel, giving ourselves permission to
process something, giving ourselves permission to allow for this paradox
to exist. When was the last time you cried this morning? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Yeah, that's why I'm not crying right now. No, truly,
truthfully speaking, it was this morning. It's such a stressful time,
you know, and it's a time where I feel like
in my career it's funny to me. I'm like, I
can walk off a stage and feel like, oh I
want to do that all over again, and then leading
up to a performance, I'm like, why do I do
this to myself? This is torturous? And I never but

(49:47):
I like to think that I always regret not working out.
I never regret the workout, And so I tried to
think about that way in my life, like, oh, I
gotta do hard thing.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
I was designed to do hard things, you know.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
But even then, acknowledging that it's hard is super important
because then you can have that compassion and empathy for yourself.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
But if you don't acknowledge that it can you very challenging.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
You're not going to leave any room for that compassion
and that empathy that you need to have for yourself
in order to do those hard things. And so, yeah,
your girl was crying. It was a full moon, it
was it was all kinds of things, but it was good.
It was a good cry. Like it's not always like
a sad cry. Sometimes it's like a release, like a
sense of relief, you know.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah, it's really interesting that if someone's natural reaction to
something was to laugh, we'd see that as normal, But
when someone's natural reaction to something is to cry, we
see that as wrong.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Or it's like stop crying, everything will be okay. We'd
never say someone stop laughing, everything will be okay, right,
or everything is okay. Like, it's really interesting to me
which emotions we allow for in society and which emotions
we try and block others and ourselves from having. And
I find that the more we try and stop others
from having a certain emotion, it's usually because we blocked

(51:03):
that in ourselves for a long long time. And I
love that you cried this morning, and that that was
a release for you and it is helpful for you
and it's powerful. Yeah, I think it's And I'm so
glad you shared that with us today as well, because
at the moment, we're experiencing a really vibrant, abundant with
your frequency. And the interesting thing is when you were crying,

(51:24):
you were still vibrant and abundant, Like we shouldn't see
that as not that right just because it looks different.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Yeah, definitely, And I think it's like it goes back
to like those core those core emotions, you know, really understanding,
like again, what are the symptoms of those core emotions
And when I'm feeling this anxiety, when I'm feeling is
it coming from a place of fear? And do I
just need to talk about it? Or am I experienced
such a great joy that my body really doesn't know
how to receive this right now, you know? Or am

(51:51):
I experiencing both because there's two things going on at
the same time. And I think it's doing that that
check in with yourself is super important making time for it,
you know, Like I genuinely made time to cry today,
and I'm very proud that I did that because I
would be crying right now, which would have been totally
fine as well. But uh, but I think it's also
such a it's such a sacred practice for me, not crying,

(52:13):
but just checking in with myself that to be able
to know how to do that and support myself in
that way instead of seeking it again in a space
of validation when it feels too late and more reactive
or from people who maybe don't know how to do that.
For me, it feels empowering to know, oh, I got me,

(52:34):
I always got me, you know.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Oh, I mean if we could all just feel like
I've always got me.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
And we don't all the time. Like I said, it's
it's a it's a it's a daily practice to make
that effort. And even then I fall short, you know,
I've fallen traded in for friends and family members of mine,
and I think that's that's when our human really shows,
you know, like there's that window of tolerance and we
can try to expand it as much as possible, but
there's it's still a window, you know, Like it's still

(53:02):
a window, and some days it's this big, and some
days I could be this big, And so it's just
like acknowledging and then expressing that too, just letting your hey,
my windows, my.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Wind does really small.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Same it's Becky's size, or sometimes it's just like my
window is big. We could fit a whole house to
that thing. You know, everybody, come on in. It's nice
to just be able to vibe check like that.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Yeah, And that's that daily as you use the word inventory,
that daily check in of like where am I at?
How am I feeling? What can I offer? Is today
a internal day or an external day?

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Like?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
I do that all the time too. There are certain
days where I can literally be there for anyone and everyone,
and I am this outward person, and then there are
days where I just want to be alone and be
in silence and stillness and being able to accept that
they're both one and the same thing. Yes, that one
is not a better expression of me and one is

(53:57):
not a worse expression of me. I think we live
in this world of what's right and wrong and better?

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Ye I can't.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
That's what I mean about the black and white thinking
that I was talking about earlier. And uh, what's that story?
There's a story about the man and he says, well,
we'll just have to wait and see.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
Basically, I'm totally.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Is. He's like a father and his son and this
thing happens and then they're like, oh, I'm so sorry,
and he's like, well, we'll see, you know, we'll see.
And it actually, you know, there's so many things that
you think are a bad thing, right quote unquote, bad
things that are happening, but in reality it's a good thing.
And uh and then maybe maybe it turns out to
not be a good thing, and you just never know,
you know. But I like to think, uh that everything

(54:42):
happens for you, not to you, Like that is my
that is my my mojo. These days, everything is happening
for me, not to me. And it's interesting how you're
the way you exist in those spaces will actually shift
because you realize.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
Oh, this is in my favor.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
I'm supposed to learn something from this, you know, I'm
supposed to like gain something from this. And that's why
the whole concept of failure and success, like navigating this
industry is in such a young age.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
There's songs of mine.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
That I love that I thought deserved to be the
number one song and they're probably like the lowest streaming whatever,
you know, but it's like, what it means to me
is a win, Like that is a success to me,
that's not a failure, you know. And so is like
redefining what success means to you, redefining what greatness is.

(55:33):
It's redefining what all of the stuff that life has
to offer, and saying no, this is happening for me,
not to me, for me, I just think it's so yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Yeah, for anyone who's wondering. The story that Becky was
referring to, which please encapsulated that point. It's a beautiful
zend story about a man and his son, and the
man buys his son a horse. Well, actually, his son
finds a horse, I believe, and comes home riding this
beautiful horse, and all the villagers are like, wow, this
is amazing, Like he's just so incredible that he could

(56:08):
tame this wild horse. And now he's riding in. Look
how elegant it is. And the man said the father says,
good thing, bad thing? Who knows? Or maybe let's see.
And then the next thing that happens is that the
son's riding the horse, and then he gets thrown off
the horse. And when he gets thrown off the horse,
his leg gets fractured and he has to have on
operation and surgery and whatever else, and everyone in the

(56:30):
village is like, oh my god, this is the worst
thing that's ever happened. Oh no, oh no, oh no,
and the man says good thing, bad thing, who knows?
Or maybe let's see. And then after that they come
and recruit everyone in the village to join the army
because they've got to defend themselves. But this guy can't go,
and everyone's like, you're so lucky your son's not going
because his leg's broken. All of our sons have gone,

(56:51):
We're going to miss them. And the man says good thing,
bad thing, who knows, or maybe let's see, And it
continues that way that it's and it's really hard in
the moment to live that way because when it feels like,
because our mind has been trained in that good and bad,
when something bad is happening, it feels like nothing good
can come from it. And the interesting thing is when

(57:13):
something good happens, we're also equally convinced nothing bad can
come from this. And the truth is those two moments
can switch so quickly, and I've been at the intersection
of both of them in my life, and I've just
found that not seeing things as good or bad, but
seeing them as just learning and lessons and healing and growth,

(57:34):
and what you just said which is that it's all
about what's happening for us. If we can just live
in that way, it's better than the dichotomy of good
and bad, positive and negative.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Oh Jay, shutty ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Na I just yeah, yeah, I mean, you definitely told
the story better than either. I'm no, but I really
appreciate you going into that that much detail, because I
think that is I wish that for the future generations
to really know that, to really know that there is
no such thing as good or bad. There's just you

(58:11):
just doing what you can do for yourself whatever that
looks like, you know. And unfortunately, I think what happens
for a lot of youth that grows up in you know,
communities like the ones I grew up in, it's like
we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught,
you know, like we're doing a lot of things that
we were never taught, and so there's a lot of

(58:32):
like self doubt that creeps in.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
There's a lot of shame that creeps in.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
There's a lot of oh, you know, do I trust
myself or do I just stay where I'm comfortable, And
it's just like, nah, just just do the best that
you can whatever that looks like, just do the best
that you can, you know, And I feel proud that
there's moments in my life that I can look back
and say, wow, I really I really showed.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Up for myself, you know, the best way I knew
how to.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Maybe would look a little different today, but even then,
like very proud, nonetheless, And so yeah, I hope that
for the future generations that they leave room for themselves
to know that good thing, bad thing. I don't know,
guess we'll see.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know it's you know what's
really interesting back Yeah, obviously I went. So I went
on tour for the first time this year my book.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
It was what you just did.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
It was hard and grueling and exhausting and at the
same time the most fulfilling, beautiful, powerful thing we did.
I think it was around just under forty cities across
the world, and it was insane as an experience, and
I'm so grateful I did it. But I couldn't do
anything else but that for the time that I was out.
I think overall we did that in like eighty days,

(59:41):
all of that, and it was it was a lot
of travel and everything else, but I was obviously touring
for my book Eight Rules of Love, and it was
really interesting to me because there were there were lots
of moments. So the difference about for those of you
who came to my show you already know, but it
wasn't a speech or a lecture. It was truly like
a social experiment where I would take people up from

(01:00:03):
the audience. People would be in uncomfortable situations, that'd be humor.
There were moments where people were sharing their story with
the entire you know, thousands of people in the room.
I was really moving. And there was one area where
we've really focused a lot on, and it was this
idea of how the biggest space we lose ourselves is
often in romantic relationships, and romantic relationships tend to be

(01:00:26):
the relationships where we invest the most of us and
often find that we leave feeling the most broken or
hurt or whatever it may have been. And I wanted
to ask you, like, how have you looked at healing
through romantic relationships that you've had. We've talked a lot
about platonic friendship, family, and life, but romantic relationships tend

(01:00:48):
to affect us deeper. I don't know if you agree
with that or feel that way, but yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Mean I'm a sucker for love.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
I love much so much.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
I'm excited to talk about this with you because I
know you are, and I think for me, it's it
doesn't get any closer to your heart than that. You know,
this is the type of experience that isn't uh, that's
actually chosen. You're not born into, you know, you're not
placed into.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
This is a space of choice.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
I enjoy this person, I enjoy the time that's spent
with this person, and I think that there's so much
to be revealed in a dynamic like that about yourself,
and you don't realize it because sometimes you're so focused
on the other person on the other side that when
you realize, like, oh, this is actually about me too,
you know, it's as close.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
To your heart as it gets.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
And I think my healing in that is the deepest
it's gotten of how do I exist in these spaces,
you know, the self accountability part, the self reflective part
of like what part of me shows up in these
spaces and going to the parts work and stuff that
I've done in therapy. It's just like, yeah, it's powerful.

(01:02:01):
It's as I think it's it's as powerful as I
could ever get.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Because it's the most revealing of wekness, of.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Your weaknesses, yeah, and your vulnerabilities and and all of
that stuff, and also maybe not your weaknesses, but also
your strengths. You know, it can show you, like just
how strong you are, how giving you can be to someone,
finding parts of yourself that you didn't know existed. You know.
I think it's a very inspiring space to be in.

(01:02:29):
I was talking, I was to say, talk about this
with a friend, but funny enough is somebody who also
works in the industry, and she goes, oh, Amiga. I
used to be told all the time that I'm so
unlucky in love, and I beg the tof I've been
so lucky in love, and I'm like, it's that that
change of mindset of knowing that, like everything is happening
for us, not to us. And I think that when

(01:02:49):
I think of my journey of healing and relationships, you know,
some of my earliest relationships and how I existed in them,
and then the ones that I've had in like my
my you know, teenage years, young adult years, and how
they evolve and how you change so much, so much.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
What have you turned to that you'd encourage other people
to turn to find that strength within themselves and that
connection with themselves when it almost feels like the foundations
are broken, like those three legs are just destroyed.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
Yeah, well, are the three legs actually destroyed? I think
it's like again, it's an opportunity to reflect inward what
is real, what is not real, and going back to
like what's happening in the real world versus what's happening
which happening on social media. It's not always reflective of
the same thing, you know, and one's experience, and something

(01:03:42):
can be so different than someone else's, But leaving room
for yours is super important. And then also being selective
and who you share that with because it is such
a sacred thing, you know. And I think that's been
one of the most revealing things for me in this
you know, chapter of my life is like who do
I share with with every thing? Who do I share with?
Who deserves to be in these spaces with me.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
In my pain, in my peak, in my process, all
of those things, like I deserve to have filters, I
deserve to hold space, I deserve.

Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
To just be and not have to explain, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
And I think being a person who's grown up on
social media, there has been so many times in my
life where I've just been like no, no, and then
what you say, how you say it, who said it,
always gets mixed up, always gets used against you in

(01:04:45):
some shape or form. And I think for me, it's
just like no, I'm good because my three legs are
They're good, they've been solidified, they're being catered to, they're
being taken care of, and and so my table was standing,
you know, and I'm proud of that, very proud of that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
To me, it's really powerful what you just said now
around the idea of we get so lost in a
conversation that's happening outside of us that isn't actually reality,
and so almost we're looking at the wrong things, we're
arguing about the wrong things, where internally having a debate
about something that isn't the thing. I actually had a

(01:05:28):
friend I was talking to a week ago and we
were discussing, you know, he's been going through some stuff
and there was someone in his life that he had
some rightful animosity towards right like it would be okay

(01:05:48):
for him to feel this certain way about it, and
I was asking him what was the big win and
what was the ego win? And I was asking, like,
what is really the win in this situation? And he
was saying, the win in this situation is that my
family member can move on from what they've been going through.

(01:06:10):
And I said, what's the ego win? And the ego
win was that person's life is ruined, right, the other
person that they were mad at. Yeah, And it was
really interesting, like just looking at it from that perspective
of like it's natural to have the ego win become
strong in a situation. But then when you look at
the bigger picture and you zoom out, you're like, oh, actually,
now when I make sense of this, that actually is

(01:06:32):
irrelevant to what I really care about. Does that make
any sense?

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
And so I think, to me, it's I'm always reflecting
on that, like what's my ego win in this scenario
and what's the bigger win in this scenario? And that
only comes when you take a step back and what
you said, you look at the reality and you look
at the filter that you just talked about. To me,
that's the biggest one. And I love how you said.
It wasn't just about the pains. It was the peaks

(01:06:58):
it pa. That's so well said. Who's the first person
you want to call when you win? And who's the
first person you call when you want to lose? Yeah,
And there's a filter to that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
There's a filter to that on what the qualifications of someone,
anyone in any way that comes into your space. And
I think, going again, I'm so crazy. Everything goes back
to my childhood of just.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Being like giving, giving, giving, giving, When do you take.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
And not take just to take, I mean like receive,
you know, like that to me is like the thing
to really be just thoughtful about. And so those filters
are again constantly being reevaluated for me. And that's why
I say growing up. I'm not grown up.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
I'm growing up.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
And I'm sure you know the same way I felt this.
I felt such a strong sense of self at sixteen,
and I look back at her and I'm like, you
better give me some of that. Girlfriend. I don't know
what that was or what you was on, but you were.
You were locked in but also not aware of what
was really out there in the world. And so you
go out in the world and you see what's out there,

(01:08:05):
and you're learning and you're adapting and you're taking all
these things in and things start to feel a little different.
Your surroundings, your circumstances, they all shift. And then you
know that this is how I feel at twenty six
whouse you say, I'm not gonna feel any different one
I'm thirty six, you know, and then forty six and
so on, And so I think just like leaving room
again for that, like that humanness and that being in

(01:08:25):
process and the filters, you know, like not the filters
we see on social media, but the real filters that matter.
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
We can't just be drinking any water.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
You can't just drink any You think you're really sick
by drinking just any water, you know. But if also
if you just drink only purified water, you're not getting
the minerals that you need. You're not getting you know,
So you can't you can't be too guarded, yeah, because
then that's a very lonely space to live in, you know,
to have these walls that no one could ever get through.
But if you have no walls, you have no no boundaries,

(01:08:58):
no anything, and everyone and anyone can come in whenever
they want to. I don't think that's a way to
live life either, you know. So I like to think
of the house that I was born into had no roof. Sometimes,
you know, maybe some of the doors were a little funky.
There's no locks on the doors, and the windows are

(01:09:18):
a little broken, but there because of time where you
grow up and you can say, I don't have to
live in this house anymore. I can go build a
new house. I can build my own house where the
windows I can open and close them as I want
to check the blinds or let in the light. There's
locks on my doors. I can let people in and
share in my space and share a meal with them,

(01:09:41):
and even if they'd like to move into my house,
because I'd choose for them to be in that house. Beautiful.
But also there's locks on my doors, so not just
anybody can come into my house, you know, knowing that,
knowing that I've provided a roof over my head, that yeah,
if it rains, we're good, We're fine, you know, can
it can come crashing down and I will be safe.

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
I think that's that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Like we're all building our own houses that look very
different than the houses we grew up in.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
That is so powerful. Becky gus up and shoulder.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
That was like, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
That was no, that was so powerful, Like I love
that analogy. It's so it's so true. There are some
people you only meet in restaurants. There are some people
who make it to the porch of the front door.
There are some people who make it inside to the
living room. There are some people who you'll cook a
meal for, some people just order in for. And there's
some people who not everyone's allowed into your private spaces,

(01:10:40):
your bedroom, you know. Like I think for people to
know that they can set how intimate they want to
be with different people and that there isn't a policy
that exists outside of that. It's something you have to
set for yourself. Is such an important thing to remind
people because I think people feel forced through stages, they

(01:11:03):
feel uncomfortable through the different steps. And for you, I mean,
you just referred to the home. I was wondering. I
think it was. Was it when you were nine years
old that the home you grew up in?

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
Yeah, but I was I was.

Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
It didn't burn down. So the economy at the time
was just it was a very scary time. There was
a recession happening, and I just think that you know,
at the time, my parents were so young, they had
no idea they were first time homeowners, no idea really
what type of mortgage they had gotten, you know, committed.

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
To, and you hope for the best, but not necessarily
prepared for the worst, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
So it's one of those things where I think, I mean,
thank God for our families that we had, like this
family support that we had, because we lost everything.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
We lost our home.

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
I went from having like my my first own bedroom.
Like most of most of my life I shared. Up
until that point, i'd shared a bedroom with my siblings,
all three of them, and so I remember this house
that we were living in. It was the first year
I had ever had my own room, and I was
so excited. I was like, this is what Lizzie McGuire has.
This is what like all the girls on Disney Town.

(01:12:08):
They get to put posters up on their wall and
they get to like, you know, rhinestone their closets and whatever.
And I just remember like being so excited about moving
into that house, and then when we lost it, just
feeling like, oh that that didn't last for very long.
I think like subconsciously that started something in my mind
that felt like, oh, when you have good things, they

(01:12:28):
go away. Nothing lasts forever, so don't hold onto it
too tight. And I'm thankful for like the flexibility that
that gave me in life, but it also makes me
very sad for my younger self that really believed that
everything good that happened to me came with a really
hard price to pay, you know. So like, if you

(01:12:49):
have good things, oh, you got to be ready, got
to be ready for something that, you know, for the
shoot to drop. And so we moved into my grandparents
convert a garage in Englewood where I was born, and
it was a garage, I would say the size of
the studio actually, and it was all six of us,
my mom, my dad, my two brothers, and my sister,

(01:13:09):
and there was bunk beds. I slept on the bottom
bunk with my sister my brother's up top, and my
parents on the food ton bed that you know, they
would make a couch during the day so we'd have
a little bit more room. And we had a pop
up table from Ikia that I would do my homework
on and eat my cereal that was the knockoff brand
of Cocoa.

Speaker 3 (01:13:26):
Puffs, not the real one.

Speaker 1 (01:13:28):
All to fast forward to the day that I decided,
you know, I want to do this. I was obsessed with,
which is really funny to me. I mentioned Lizzie Maguire
blonde white girl. I mentioned I was obsessed with Shirley Temple,
young blonde white girl. I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning,
blonde white girl. I don't know what it was, but

(01:13:49):
it was something about how young they were and how
like empowered they were, and they were doing these like
very adult things, you know, they were like they were
the heroes of the stories that they were doing and acting,
and I just remember thinking like, oh, I want to
do that, like I want to and I'm shout out
to the internet. I go on Google and I look

(01:14:09):
up like what do you need to do? Or who
represents Dakota Fanning and all these things like how do
you become an actress? And my first agency that I
signed with at nine years old was OSBURNK Agency. Shout
out to my first agents, and at the time, they
were representing Dakota Fanning and I did not know what
the heck of monologue was. I didn't know what headshots were,

(01:14:31):
I didn't know any of that was.

Speaker 3 (01:14:33):
But I just knew I really wanted to learn. I
really wanted to do this.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
And a huge shout out to my parents too, because
again they knew nothing about this. They had three other kids,
you know, to take care of too, and the drive
from Inglewood to Hollywood is you know, with traffic especially,
it is not very close. LA County's big. But they
really supported me through that, and I have like a
little like I printed out a little contract to my

(01:14:58):
parents and I said, give me six months, just six months,
and if nothing, yeah, if nothing happens, then like okay,
like you know, that's fine, Like I'll leave it alone.
What pretend it's never happened, or we can renegotiate our terms. Now,
we can't renegotiate our terms after six months if all
goes well. And yeah, going back to just like that instinct,

(01:15:19):
that agency, that empowerment that I felt to just like
to do this thing that no one in my family
had ever done.

Speaker 3 (01:15:27):
Like there was really no point of reference.

Speaker 1 (01:15:31):
And I'm glad I did it because I look back
at the garage, which is like still a real place
where my family still lives. You know, there's there's a
lot of things up there. My grandma has a couple
of like little shrine things of like, oh, you know,
I'm my grandma. This isn't a museum. There's people walking
by the house like is this the house?

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
The fack you lived there?

Speaker 1 (01:15:48):
My Grandma's like absolutely, I'm no very sacred space. Oh
but yeah. It's like it's crazy to like look back
at and think like this is you know, this is
where it all started. Fire within me that felt like no,
I can really do this, Like let's let's try this.

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
That's so spectacular. That's special. That's special. How so many
big dreams start from so many small places and small
places within us too.

Speaker 1 (01:16:15):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
And I was going to ask you that, like, how
have you now that you're building this new home that
as windows that work and as doors that have locks?
What's changed about how you decide and define how someone
gets to get closer to you and and connected to you? Like,

(01:16:39):
what has changed? What is evolved? What have you learned
growing up about who you allow close?

Speaker 1 (01:16:45):
Yeah? I think it's like again it comes back to
knowing not anything has to be concrete. You know, you
can you can vibe with people, you can enjoy beautiful
moments with people. And then and then the moment that
something doesn't feel right, you can speak to that, and
everything is always to me, always owe to conversation. You know,
I've had friendships in my life that just in all honesty,

(01:17:06):
I outgrew and there's all love and it was a conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:17:09):
And it's sometimes that's simple.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
But I think it's just like leaving room for that growth,
just like it's gonna change. That's the point, Like we grow,
like we change. Going back to the ice cream seven
years ago, it was chocolate, today is frozen yogurt. You
I'll again, but you know, like you're literally like you're

(01:17:35):
even your physical body changes, why wouldn't our minds and
our hearts also expand and change in those ways too?
You know. So I think it's like and it's not
just in the way that I hope to be received
by other people, but it's just it's also like or
like how I hold space for other people, it's also
like being around people who hold that same space for me.
You know, Like I think understanding that these are like

(01:17:56):
mutual spaces, right, like powering when you're like, oh this
is a choice, Yeah, Like I get to choose to
be here. You got to choose to be here like
and we're here together like that to me has been
the most beautiful part of my like evolution and healing.

Speaker 3 (01:18:15):
It's like man like when I go.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
On tour, my fans buy their tickets because they chose
to be there, like you know, the same way I
chose to walk onto that stage. Like, let's not rob
ourselves of that like empowerment, that agency that we have
over our lives to decide to choose what's good for you,
what's best for you, what motivates you, what inspires you,

(01:18:37):
and that can be the bad things, that could be
the hard things, that could be the because there's no
such thing as good bad whatever, you know, it's it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
Just is, you know when I'm speaking to you. And
I love this and I love it when I get
to experience it in someone because I think it's quite rare.
But you just have such a like strong spirit of
just like positivity mindset, like obviously you're working on all
of these things as we've been talking about today, and

(01:19:06):
I love seeing it be so tough in someone. Not
I'm not saying that, of course, like you said you
cried this morning, I'm not saying without I'm actually more
tough I'm not saying tough in the sense that there
isn't any pain or stress, of course, And to me,
the display of to yourself of pain is even tougher

(01:19:27):
to be able to admit to yourself that, hey, I'm
working on this stuff. How have you stayed so open
to that mindset of trust and forgiveness for yourself and
others when it almost seems like there's so many reasons
to not be that way.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
If that makes sense, well, I think it's just going
back to like it makes it makes it easier for
our human mind to see things in black and white, right,
it makes our life easier, But actually it doesn't. I
feel like it cuts a short from the experience that
we're supposed to have. Like I believe in karmic energy.
I believe that like we are here for reason, you know,
there's there's We're here on purpose. There's a purpose to

(01:20:10):
our pain, to our our our happiness, to our greatest joys,
to our anger. There's purpose to all of it. And
so I think just like really allowing yourself to be
open to it is is where I think I find it.
It's like it is that story of the father and
his son, Like I don't think that there's these practices

(01:20:31):
that have been around for like generations and generations and decades,
you know, to think that, like, yeah, it's just a
bunch of helps focus, you know, Like I just don't.
I don't think so. Like I think that's why I
have a hard time trusting like the power of technology.
Sometimes that's a whole other conversation. It's like, hasn't been
around long enough for me to really understand what this

(01:20:53):
is and what it's capable of and the impacts that
it has. Like I said on on the Future generations,
like it is, it's in timidating, and I think, but
you got to be open to it because if it
cuts our processing time, you know, by half, and our
kids can learn more, that's that's great.

Speaker 3 (01:21:09):
But I believe in balance.

Speaker 1 (01:21:11):
I believe that we need balance as human beings, and
I think that there's just so much more to this
life than just being like, well I don't like you.
It's like, okay, well maybe there's something in that person
that you don't like that actually reflects something that you
don't like about yourself. But you're not ready for that conversation.
You know, some people just aren't, And that's totally fine.

Speaker 3 (01:21:31):
But I am that person like put yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:36):
I really do.

Speaker 2 (01:21:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I sense that I could tell that,
and it's it's it's fun to watch. I think it's
it's really meaningful to see it in someone. You've talked
about having guardian angels m hm, And I want to
ask you when do you feel most connected to your
guardian angels?

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
Oh? Ah, I feel like my faith journey is very
interesting because it was something that I was introduced to
again out of very very young age, because I grew
up in a very religious family. My mom was kind
of the one to break that up for us, which
I'm very thankful for because it allowed me the opportunity
to kind of find it on my own instead of

(01:22:14):
it be something.

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
That was forced.

Speaker 1 (01:22:15):
Because like my mom, I remember many times she'd tell
me stories.

Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
You know, your grandma would just call us in.

Speaker 1 (01:22:21):
We'd be like playing outside, having the time of our lives.
She's like, kids don't even play outside anymore, you know,
but here here there we were like playing outside and
my mom would make us come inside and pray the Rosary,
and we'd be like a get come on, grandma, come on, mom,
you know, and what I loved is Like as a kid,
I would have so many questions, Like I'd tell my mom, like,
you know, sometimes when I was little, this is very funny.

(01:22:44):
My grandma would sometimes be like kind of insinuate, like oh,
you know, people don't go to church or like they're
on the bad list, the naughty list, right, and and
so my mom would be like, you know how Grandma
is you know, we're gonna go to the Jocito's house,
you know, which was like to go to church. We're
gonna go to the Oscetho. So I'm like, why doesn't
Joctho I'm not our house, Like why can't he come
to our house? Like what's this concept of ice having

(01:23:04):
to go to him? Why can't he come to us?
Like challenging these things all the time, and I just
remember just thinking like no, spirituality is a mutual connection
with sores with greater source. And for me, my connection
with God is just like yeah, like he loves me regardless.
There's times where I pray and I mean some of
the stuff that I share, I'm just like, you know

(01:23:26):
what I mean, you know what I mean, you know,
and I think that that's like I love that for me,
that I was able to discover that faith and I
feel so protected and some of the moments that are
so simple, you know. I mean not just like in
my moments of deep like confusion or like pain, when
I am challenged to like surrender that control right when

(01:23:47):
I say I practice like go let God, but even
just like when I'm by myself in my house, like
making my coffee and I'm playing like I don't know,
a certain song will come on, like on my playlist,
and I'm just like, that's my Grandma. I know it
like I know it, you know. Or today A big
thing for me is is dragonflies. I have a dragonfly
tattoo and they definitely represent something very significant for me.

(01:24:11):
And I mean for months now on the way here,
dragonflies beautiful, isn't fine?

Speaker 2 (01:24:18):
Like I love that it's beautiful, and it's wonderful to
have these notes and signs and you know, moments that
make us feel aligned. We all need them in some capacity,
and I think we all look for them because we're
all trying to feel connected to something higher and bigger
and more powerful than ourselves, whatever it may be, whether

(01:24:41):
it's in the world or whether it's beyond, and it's
it's nice thing about your spiritual journey and how it's
evolved because it is so personal, and there's a beautiful
there's a beautiful statement. I believe it's I believe it
was said by David Lynch and he said that prayer
is you talking to God, and meditation is God talking

(01:25:03):
to you. And I've always loved that that idea of
the God of God, universe, whatever you call it. But
the idea that prayer is when you're speaking, in meditation
is when you're listening. Yes, and that communication is mutual.
As you said, it's this two way connection. It's not
a one way as it's often portrayed or comes across.
And I really find that as well, that sometimes my

(01:25:26):
job is to stop talking and just to listen, yep.
And so often we're just talking too much. You're trying
to figure it all out or problem solving, and that
listening ability is so lost in the art of communication.

Speaker 1 (01:25:40):
Yeah, yeah, it's that's why I said, you know, everything
is always a conversation. I think that's how we should
look at even things I can't talk back to me.
My dogs that live in my mom's house, you know
all that. I love them so much. There is a
mutual love. They can't necessarily talk back to me, but
I listen. I take the time to like connect with them,
you know. But I think it's about being that type
of you know, intentional type of person. I guess when

(01:26:03):
when you're having these daily practices. And that's why I
think when I like meditate, like there was like a shift.
Instead of saying, like what do I want? What do
I feel right now, it's like what do you want?

Speaker 3 (01:26:14):
Like it's serve you have to ask.

Speaker 1 (01:26:15):
You're subconscious, you have to bring parts of yourself forward,
you know, to really receive what that is because our
psyche is like it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:26):
There's certain things.

Speaker 1 (01:26:27):
That I've unpacked in therapy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:28):
I was like, oh, I didn't even remember that that happened, you.

Speaker 1 (01:26:32):
Know, Like and it's it's because our minds are very powerful.
Our minds were designed to protect us, right, Like our
human body wants to survive and avoid death at all costs,
but our spirit needs death. Our spirit needs death. The

(01:26:52):
thing of giving up something to then have a rebirth
of something else to gain something else, Like you have
to be willing to do that, you know, Like there's
so many parts of myself that I think, you know,
I have kind of like resolved with and it's beautiful
to look back at, like that's that skin that I

(01:27:13):
needed to shed.

Speaker 3 (01:27:15):
That's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
But there's like, you know, parts in that that probably
people I grew up with, people that knew me to
be a certain way that was more beneficial for them,
would probably be like she changed. Yeah, Like no, I did.
I actually did. I did change, you know, And I
don't think that's a bad thing. So it's funny how, yeah,
spirit can need something different than like what our body

(01:27:39):
is like designed for and you're like, no, no, it's
not the literal thing. It's it's the shedding, you know,
it's the shedding that needs to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
Yeah, Becky, it's been such a joy talking to you today,
and I'm so glad that we've finally connected in this way.
We've got to share your abundant, energetic spirit with everyone
through this so much episode, and I'm hoping that everyone
who listens to it can kind of, you know, walk
away feeling that positive energy through your voice, through your
energy into them as well, because I really feel like

(01:28:07):
it's come across from me too. You just yeah, you
just have this spark and I'm hoping that everyone today
got to feel a bit of it. But we end
every on Purpose episode with our final five, which is
a question that has to be answered in one word
to one sentence maximum. So Becky g these are your
final five. The first question is what is the best

(01:28:28):
advice you've ever heard or received?

Speaker 1 (01:28:30):
You miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take.
I think that's one sentence, right, Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2 (01:28:38):
Really be one word that was no, no, no, one
word to one sentence is fine. Question number two, what
is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
I don't know. I'm that positive, Patty. I'm like even
those negative things, they're a positive thing.

Speaker 4 (01:28:51):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (01:28:52):
I would say, just make sure you really think about it.
It's like, no, you could overthink it. Yeah, that's what
I would say. Just make sure you really think about it,
really think about what you're saying, or really think about
you know what it is that you're asking for. No, no, no,
I trust my gut. I'd say probably that's the words
of guys.

Speaker 3 (01:29:10):
You should really think about that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:11):
Yeah, got it. Question on the three, what is something
you're currently trying to unlearn?

Speaker 3 (01:29:22):
Definitely, people pleasing.

Speaker 2 (01:29:23):
What's the hardest part about giving it up?

Speaker 1 (01:29:26):
Ah, it's just second nature. You don't even realize like
how you practice that on a daily basis, you know,
Like I said, growing up in this industry, just I
feel like there's a lot of child stars that are
set up to not be very successful as adults who
are trying to take agency over their own life. And
so just knowing that, like, your feelings matter, how you

(01:29:48):
feel matters, and also not everybody needs to participate in that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
And that even if you spend your whole life trying
to please everyone, chances are that will still be upset
with you for something else.

Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
Yeah, and again maybe it has more to do with
them than it does you.

Speaker 3 (01:30:04):
So totally yeah, great, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:30:08):
Question number four, what's something that you used to value
that isn't important anymore?

Speaker 1 (01:30:16):
I would say, like the optics, the optics of what
it is to like be in, like the limelight, like
going back to like that thing that like, oh everybody
needs to like you and like you know, you got
to you got to feed the beast or whatever. I
don't think I really value that anymore. I value like,
my my personal piece more than anything else.

Speaker 2 (01:30:38):
I like that yeah, beautiful. Fifth and final question, if
you could create one law that everyone in the world
had to follow, what would it be, Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:30:47):
That everybody practiced and had access to some form of therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
Yeah, I'd love to be able to help that happened.

Speaker 1 (01:30:56):
Yes, yeah, the access to to resource I think is
very crucial. But I think I would make that like immediate,
like starting today, sign on the dotted line, like I
think we all deserve safe spaces.

Speaker 3 (01:31:11):
I don't think we have enough of them.

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
Well said Becky. Gee everyone, Thank you so much, Becky
for having so much presence, openness, vulnerability with us here
today and everyone who's been listening and watching. Make sure
you tag me and Becky with your favorite moments. I
love seeing what stuck with you, maybe what's helped you,
Maybe something you're going to pass on to a friend
because you know they need to hear it. I know,

(01:31:35):
Becky and I would love to see that. Please make
sure you do that. And Becky, thank you so much.
I can't wait favor to go and stream thanscuse us
right now. It's available if you're listening right now, you
can go stream right right now. So go to everywhere
you listen to music. And go and listen in. But
thank you so much, Becky, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
I really appreciate you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:31:53):
Thank you so much. If you love this episode, you'll
really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your
inner critique and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

Speaker 1 (01:32:05):
My fears are only going to continue to show me
what I'm capable of.

Speaker 4 (01:32:10):
The more that I face my fears, the more that
I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I
just want to keep doing that.

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Jay Shetty

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Becky G ON: Finding Your Sense of Belonging & How to Masterfully Block Negativity and Rejection