Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know how many people told me it was impossible.
I remember one of my teachers told me I was
throwing my life away when I told her that I
was thinking about turning down my full scholarship.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
To grab.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Grammy nominated artists.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Please give it.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
What's the difference between wishing for something and manifesting song?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Wishing is one thing, but when you put your attention
on the intention and add strategy to it, that is
how you get to manifest.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
If someone in the audience is feeling a low sense
of confidence, what's the first step to building that confidence.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Everyone comes from different walks of life. There is no
real right or wrong in this life. There's only a perspective.
Things can hurt you. When you understand yourself more and
you appreciate everything you have, you start to understand and
you don't take things personally.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
You've always been so open about depression and anxiety in
a culture and in a art form that may not
always allow for it. How did you find a safe
space in doing the career you had in being Big
Sean the Rapper?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
The commitment I made to myself for being authentic and sharing,
and when I started to go to therapy as a
black man. I didn't know it was such a taboo thing.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What you define success.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
As Whatever you're doing on purpose is your purpose, as
long as it's with the purpose. The number one health
and Wellness.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Podcast Jay Shetty Jay Shetty, I am so pumped to
finally share the live interviews from my very first podcast
tour presented by Chase Sapphire Reserve. This next one features
a powerful conversation with Big Sean at the Met in Philadelphia,
(01:50):
one of the most thoughtful and inspiring voices in music.
I am so excited to be here tonight live at
the Met in Philadelphia with the one and only Big Sean.
Sean and I have been friends for quite a while now,
and I'm so grateful that he's here today to be
part of my first ever on purpose tour. And I
was so grateful that he let me write the forward
(02:12):
to his beautiful book Go. I saw some in the audience.
If you haven't got a copy, and I love to
see it. I love to see it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
If you haven't got a copy, make sure you go
and grab one. It's truly a beautiful book. And you know,
when I first met Sean I was shocked as to
how much self work healing he'd done from the beginning
of his journey. This wasn't something he'd come into. It
was something he'd inherited and started so much earlier, and
it touched me so deeply. But Sean, before we get
(02:43):
into that, I wanted to start with what we've been
talking about tonight. And I know you were watching backstage,
but we've been talking about this idea about how we're
all limited by what we think people think of us,
and I wanted to share. I wanted you to share
if there was a time in your life where you
used to be worried about what you thought people thought
about you, and how that blocked your creativity and your spirit.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
You know. I used to let the things I can't
control control me, you know what I mean. And it
was very conditional. It was something that it's impossible to
be successful in the business of pleasing everybody, like to
something that you might as well let go of now.
And if you do please everybody, you're probably not going
to be pleasing yourself, you know what I mean. So
(03:28):
I do feel that, especially in entertainment, and when you
get an opportunity to be you got to understand, like
since I was ten eleven years old, all I wanted
to do was like be a rapper. That was like
the only thing that I wanted. And I did super
good in school. I come from like a family of scholars.
(03:48):
My mom is an English and social studies teacher. My grandma.
First of all, my grandma was like one of the
first female black captains in World War Two. So she
was yeah, all right pee And she was like in
that other six Triple eight what the Tyler Perry made
a movie about. She was like a part of the
six Triple eight. So it was quite a you know,
(04:10):
I had quite a grandmother. But she she to her
education was the way to a better life, you know
what I mean. And my granddad was also in World
War two, And so I was somebody who I always
did good in school, you know what I mean, like
just out of respect. But I always knew that music
was what I wanted to do. And I had an
opportunity to like go to school or to pursue music.
(04:32):
I go to school on a full scholarship as well,
and I chose the music thing. And the beautiful thing
though about my grandmother and my family is that even
though I did the opposite, they still supported me. And
as a dad, now I see how important it is
to not control your kids or in that case, grandkids,
(04:53):
but to support them and to you know, give them
the fuel to say, hey, you could do anything you
want to do. Like you know, how many people told
me it was impossible. I remember one of my teachers
told me I was throwing my life away. When I
told her that I was thinking about turning down my
full scholarship to rap. She was like no, she was like,
(05:14):
do not blow it, like you know, and it took
so much faith and so much trust, and you know
that trust. It's like you, the letter you is right
in the middle of trust and you have to trust yourself.
It's like you are the one that's like right in
the middle of that trust. And it was just I
(05:36):
can go on and on about the story, but to
fast forward a little bit. And that's what this book
is like. Honestly, I'm not trying to sell my book
to you guys that like it's not doing being shameless plug,
But this book is like the wisdom of like my
whole family, the whole I was lucky enough to have
like family members like my mom who introduced me to meditation,
introduced me to strategize and told me like, look, if
(05:58):
you really want to make this happen, usualize and meditate,
close your eyes, like you write it down, journal it out,
you know, and it really, I mean, it really made
the world a difference. I would not be sitting here
talking to Jay Shetdy if it wasn't for that. And
that's the whole point of writing the book. And when
I did my first interview with him, he was like, yo,
(06:18):
you got to write a book. And I was like,
I mean, that's something I want to do later on.
And you realize how fleeting and how not promised life is,
and that when you have the wanting of something, when
you have the desire, I don't even like using want
that much because it acknowledges that I don't have it.
I like to think that I already have it. When
(06:40):
you have a desire, when you have a passion for something,
just do it as soon as you can, because nothing
is promised. We think we have this concept of time,
like oh, I got to like I'm old, Like that's
not all all the way true, and that's not a
bad thing. It's really not a bad thing. It's just
it's actually beauty in that. So for me, that's what
this book is. It's just kind of like for people
(07:03):
who may not be clear enough to how to get
to the next part of their lives, people who may
feel stuck, people who you know, we all go through
the ups and downs of life, and I feel like
this book is a great book of strategy to just
you know, something that I can't wait for my son
to read or pass on to people. You know. So
I'm really thankful for you for helping me do that. Man,
it means a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I felt it immediately when we first spoke, and
I wanted to ask you the difference because I think, oh.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Sorry, but I didn't answer your question about controlling, so
my bad. I went off a little bit. Let me
answer that real quick quickly too. I won't take too
much time. Yes, there are times where I did feel
very controlled and trying to do you know, the idea
of what people wanted me to do, and it was
very depressing sometimes and sometimes it worked out. Sometimes it
(07:53):
was like, oh, thank god I listened to you. But
at the same time, it doesn't feel the same as
when you just listen to yourself. You got to let
go of the idea of succeeding and not succeeding. You
got to understand that it's all just a part of
the same journey. It's all like, you know, you may
learn more about winning by losing, you know what I mean.
(08:14):
It's like if the sun was sunny every day, you
wouldn't even appreciate it. It's the storms that make the
sunshine so much more. It's the ying and yang of it.
But uh, it's something that you should definitely keep in mind.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, I was thinking about it as you were talking.
You know, we were talking about dreams earlier, and you know,
everyone in this audience got dreams, got ideas, got visions
of what their better life looks like. And I wanted
to ask you the difference between wishing and manifesting. Yeah,
what's the difference? Because I think a lot of people
are trying to manifest but then they're not seeing it,
(08:49):
and a lot of people might be wishing. So what's
the difference between wishing for something, wanting for something and
manifesting something.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Wow, that's a very good question. I think the difference
between wishing something and manifesting something is one is an
idea one is a dream, one is a concept. The
other one is everything that you've accumulated in action. When
you manifest something, you are in the middle of it.
(09:17):
You may not even realize it's happening. But I always
like to think of the energy of already having it.
It's like to me, that's already manifesting. It's like it's
the difference between being like you know, I really want
that car, that's like wishing it, to being like man
like the steer, like you get like smell it. You
(09:38):
know what I mean when you when you psych yourself out,
because your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's
real and what you are feeding it, or what's real
to you. So that being said, when you meditate and
you visualize yourself on a beach with your feeding the sand,
your subconscious mind, which to me is the relationship between
(10:01):
you and God or the universe or whatever you believe in,
of manifesting it. Is one of these books I read
a long time ago, and it was talking about how
when you speak, there's these like crystals in water, and
when you speak to it positively, the crystals become these
beautiful looking like snowflakes. And when you speak to it
negatively when you say all these like you suck, you know,
(10:23):
all these things like that. It like the crystals like
look like damaged rocks. So you got to understand if
it has that effect on water, what are we seventy
percent made of water? Right? So it's really the power,
you know, when you manifest something, it's like the power
of your subconscious is so important to really focus and
(10:44):
feed that even if you don't, even if you technically
your logical mind doesn't believe it. If you just keep
feeding it, you'll see that you're a walking magnet. It's
going to show up in your life one way or another,
I promise you.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. I love that insight.
And I was thinking about it as well. I feel
like manifesting is being in love with the process, and
wishing is being in love with the result. And so
when you're manifesting, right, like when when you're manifesting, it's
what you said, you can smell the car, you're thinking
(11:17):
about the work you're going to have to do to
get it. Yeah, you're dreaming about waking up every day
and putting in the time because you know where it's going.
But you're obsessed with the process the process, and wishing
is just like I can't wait till I have it.
I wish I had it. Why did they have it?
I don't have it. They don't deserve it, and it
becomes all about the end. And the problem with that
(11:38):
is it just feels further and further and further away
and out of reach.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Right, Yeah, especially when you don't put a strategy to
the wishing. And I think once you put the strategy
to the wishing and the attention on your intention, that's
what turns it from wishing to manifesting. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So that again, that was good. That was good that
you said it too fast.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I forgot you were rather yeah, attention and you know
I was, Yeah, I was saying that. You know, wishing
is one thing, but when you put your attention on
the intention and add strategy to it, that is how
you get to manifesting. That's the process.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I love that. Yeah. Yeah, that's everyone write that down. Intention,
attention and strategy or action. Like adding those three things together,
that's manifesting. Intention, attention and strategy and action. That's manifesting.
If you're trying to build something in your life. Sean,
what I love about you is that you've always been
so open about depression and anxiety in a culture and
(12:40):
in an art form that may not always allow for it.
Like generally you think of hip hop and rap and
music in general to be like on your set, to
be tough, to be strong. You know, you're battle rapping.
It's bravado, it's you know, and I love hip hop.
You know that of course, But there's that energy to
it because a lot of people here ooh so looking
(13:01):
for their voice to have a space to feel vulnerable,
Like a lot of people earlier were saying, we're so
grateful that this is a space we could be vulnerable.
Sometimes when you go to work, sometimes when you go
to your family, you don't have a space right to
be vulnerable. So what was How did you find a
safe space when it wasn't easy in doing the career
you had and being big Sean the rapper, How did
(13:23):
you do that? Where did you find that space?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I don't think it was a safe space. I just
looked at it as like it was like for me,
it was just the commitment I made to myself to
being real, to just like being authentic and sharing. You know,
when someone asked me about it, and you know, when
I was going through those ups and downs, like expressing
that on the song, you know, especially the song I
(13:46):
have Deep reverence with me and Nipsey Hustle to the
late Great Nipsey Hustle RP. Just being open about it,
and I didn't know it was such a taboo thing
as a black man, as like any of that, even
talking about like therapy. My dad. So, my dad, he's
from Monroe, Louisiana, and he used to get caught on
(14:08):
the wrong yeah, shout out to Louisiana. Okay, Yeah, he
would get caught on the wrong side of the train
tracks and get beat bad for us sometimes. You know,
it was in a around the Civil rights time, like
real bad times down there for him sometimes. And he
even had a speech impediment, like he had a stutter
when he was growing up that he was able to overcome.
(14:29):
But my point being is that when I started to
go to therapy, it inspired him to go to therapy.
And he was like, I didn't know. No one told me,
you know one of the things he said, and I
didn't really it means so much. He was like, man,
I love learning from It's awesome. When I can learn
from my son, and now that I have a son,
he teaches me. He's only two years old, but I
learned so much from him. I just feel like that
(14:51):
that's how the natural progression of it goes, you know
what I mean. But when I've initially shared like how
I was feeling, I don't know if it was a
quote unquote a safe space. It's just it's just the
route I chose to go, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, it just needs to come out. It just needs
to cometimes. Sometimes what you're saying is, don't wait for
a safe space because it may never come.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
It may never come, and so you just.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Go to kind of create a space where you can
start talking about it. Who is the first person you
opened up to deeply about it? Do you remember that?
Was it a therapist or was it someone else?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
It was my mom? It was my mom because we
as close as I am to her, like me and
her relationship like started taking a real terrible dive when
I was just some like overdoing it with my career,
meaning that like I gave up all my hobbies. I
(15:49):
was just like strictly working. Because the concept when you
come from a city like Philadelphia, like or a city
like Detroit, it's like, oh, you got to stay on
they next. You gotta stay hot. Can't opportunity slip away.
You can't be one of those people that almost you know.
And even though it was like, oh, you have a
number one album, another number one album, this, that, like,
it just never felt like it was all the way
(16:12):
locked in. And I think that's because I was looking
at it the wrong way. And I'll come back to that.
But I remember just burning myself out. And I was
on tour in Europe. I'm not going to say who,
but somebody came up to me and was like, man,
you should try adderall right, And I was like, okay,
I never wasn't really familiar with adderall like that. He's like, oh,
you know, college students do it, like he was lying,
(16:34):
I'm a very smart person too, and he was like
it's just some like salts and things. I'm like, I
wanted to believe him, and I took it, and you know,
I'm not prescribed it like I don't need it per se.
And I was able to get more work done though.
I was like able to get more and I was
pushing myself more, and I noticed that it was like
really tearing my insides up. Like I looked like I
(16:57):
was on drugs, you know what I'm saying, Like hardcore.
I looked like just not myself. And anyway, I kept
doing it because it was working. I was seeing results.
I was getting the work done. I had another number
one album. I was able to finish it and do
another project with you know, with Janey, and we did
a side project and then another album, and I was
just like and then I did another album that same
(17:18):
year with Metro Booming, and it was just like all
of these things. But I really paid the price when
I hit like rock bottom and I went to the
studio and I realized when I didn't have adderall, I
felt like I couldn't do it. I couldn't make music
without it. And that's when I realized I have a problem.
(17:40):
I was like, I have a huge problem. And I
stopped it immediately, and I couldn't think of anything in
a depression. You know, I didn't realize that the synthetic
dopamine that was being created in my brain from that
when you shut it off, when you have a synthetic
version of it, your your brain start stops making natural dopamine.
(18:00):
So you're totally screwed. I'm talking about you are like
I like had a gun to my head. I was
like ready to blow. You know. I had like my
dream house in Beverly Hills. I had all these things
like beautiful, a beautiful life, unimaginable, and I wanted to
take it away because my mind was really playing tricks
on me and had me thinking that I was someone
(18:21):
that I wasn't. And that's when I opened up to
my mom. And I had not been talking to her
because I felt like I didn't deserve. I feel like
I didn't deserve to talk to my family. It was
the weirdest psychological twisted games I was playing with myself.
And I remember she suggested all these things, like you
know a good mom does, and she ended up coming
(18:43):
out and spending time with me and like help building
me back up. And that's when I really started realizing
how connected the body is with the spirit and with
the mind. And you know, I started working out, I
started seeing a therapist, I started slowly getting back into music.
I had to literally let go of everything I was
doing because just taking a phone call, just taking a
(19:04):
meeting was just too much for me. And I crashed out.
That was when I realized how bad I needed to
change my life. And I think we all kind of
come to a point in our lives where we go
through that in our own ways. It's like late twenties,
early thirties, maybe late thirties, and you probably probably a
(19:25):
few times in your life where this happens to where
it feels like you're gonna a wall is going to
fall on you and you either have to climb over
it or you're gonna get crushed by it, you know,
And it really feels that life or death and therapy
helped me so much. Being able to talk through with
someone and unload that amount of emotion and that amount
(19:46):
of reality helped because sometimes when you do it with
your friend or your family member, it stays between y'all
and then it's like, well, shit, they're going through their
own stuff, you know what I'm saying, And it's kind
of awkward, you know, when you get to like spilling
your deepest secrets or like, Mom, I had a gun
in my head. You know, I don't want to like
talk to her about that. And it took me some time,
(20:10):
but you know what I believed, I had faith in myself.
I trusted myself and that was that was one of
the deepest time where I had to connect with my
my spiritual self, my faith, and I have a great
relationship with Jesus Christ and with it with God and
and a great relationship with myself. You know, I rediscovered myself.
(20:32):
I tried new hobbies. I was like jumping out of
airplanes and like going to the gun range and just
trying all new things that I hadn't tried before, and
really watching anime like I'm a huge like anime lover,
and I just connected back with myself, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Thank you for going there with the depths of yeah,
go for it, apps, thank you, go for it. You
don't even wanna be silent. I love doing this with you.
I feel like I should do every podcast with a
live audience.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah listen.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I just want to take a moment to say how
much this means to me, because usually I spend my
time with a camera or when we're in the studio
and we've recorded multiple times in our studio together. But
sharing this with all of you and having all of
your energy here is giving me energy. So I just
want to say thank you to you all for first laugh, clap, cry,
whatever you want, like, that's what this is for. But first,
(21:23):
here's a quick word from the brands that support the show.
All right, thank you to our sponsors. Now let's dive
back in.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
You know, one thing I do want to say, not
to cut you off, Jay, is that you know, I
was just looking at your mic and it's on purpose.
And one of the things people always ask me, and
I want to ask you this question two, how do
I find my purpose?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I love you too, I love you too?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
How do I find my purpose? How would you answer that?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I'm going to share a meditation later that I believe
will do that, but in order to give a spoken
answer that doesn't come through with then I would say
that your passion is for you and services for others.
And so when you use your passion in the service
(22:12):
of others, it becomes a purpose. So when you have
something that you're passionate about, right, when you have something
you're passionate about could be anything. When you have something
that you're deeply passionate about, and then you use it
to improve other people's lives, that's what a purpose is.
But a purpose doesn't have to be your job. It
(22:33):
doesn't have to be what you do every day. It
doesn't have to make you money, it doesn't have to
make you famous, it doesn't have to get you followers.
Your purpose can be something you do on the evenings
and weekends. Your purpose can be something to do that
you do take care of your children. Your purpose can
be so many things. And I think we limit ourselves
because the world today. You think about this for a second,
(22:56):
maybe like fifty to one hundred years ago, no one
would have asked the question and what do you do?
As the main question of conversation. Today, that's the number
one question because who we are defines our worth. We
live at a time where you say your career and
it defines who you are and what your worth is
in society. But that's not how God designed us, that's
(23:19):
not how the community designed us. In the past, you'd
be a farmer and a storyteller, yes right, you'd be
a mom and a doctor, you'd be a career and
you'd be whatever else it is. And so I think
we need to look at our purposes and this and
that and stop thinking of our purpose as a job title,
stop thinking of our purpose as a promotion, stop thinking
(23:41):
of our purposes. You know, what does our biography say
on Instagram? Like because I really don't like it when
everyone's like, so what do you do? And I'm like,
I don't want to say podcaster. There's a million podcasters
doing different things. I'm an author, but that's not who
I am. That's not my purpose. Same as you you're
an author, but you're an entrepreneur, you're a father.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah. Someon when people ask me, like, what's how do
you find your purpose? It took me a while to
answer it. That was an amazing answer, by the way, man,
that's like right on. And I think a lot of
people tie their purpose in with their career. Right They'll
be like, well, I got to find my purpose because
(24:22):
I got to find my way. I got to find
out how to you know what I mean? And I
realized that your purpose is what you're doing on purpose.
With purpose. It doesn't have to be like you say,
your job, that's a it can be there's no outlines
to it. It can be your job can be your purpose,
(24:42):
your hobby can be your purpose. In fact, I feel
like one of my purposes is to be a son.
One of my purposes is to be a father, whatever
it is. Because it's whatever I'm doing on purpose is
my purpose. You feel what I'm saying like it doesn't
have to be so defined. And that's that's.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
One thing that absolutely I'm so glad you brought that
up because I feel like there's a lot of pressure
around that word as well. Now it is because it's
got link to our careers, it's got link to our jobs.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
A lot of pressure around purpose.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
There's a lot of pressure around purpose, and it shouldn't
be that way because you're absolutely right that your purpose
today could just be to be present.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That could be a present for today. Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you're doing that you feel in your heart, whatever
makes you smile, whether you know, going to the movies
could be your who knows, like whatever it is that
that does it for you, That whatever you're doing on
purpose is your purpose as long as it's with a purpose.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Sure, And I was thinking about as we were talking
about that, you've been talking about being a father and
I wanted to ask you it feels like it's had
a big healing impact on you, and I feel like
it's got you do.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
A lot of impacts on me. Yeah, for sure. You know,
I have a two and a half year old, So
I don't know if anyone knows what that's like. He's
the sweetest, most amazing kid. He's like enlightened being, you
know what I mean. So he teaches me all these
things without trying. So I'm just I'm appreciative of him.
(26:16):
I'm embracing the unknown because as he keeps growing, he
keeps surprising me. So I don't know what it's going
to be like. He's only two. I can't believe we're
only two and a half years in. It seems like
he's I can't even hardly remember what it was like
without him at this point. So, yeah, you know, that's
how much of a presence he is in all our
lives for sure.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I want to shift the question that people usually ask,
especially young kids. Going back to our previous conversation about purpose,
people always like, oh, what do you want him to
be when he grows up? What do you want him
to do? And I want to shift it. I want
to ask you the question, what quality? If you could
choose one quality, do you really want to know where
to have when he grows up? What would you want
that quality to be?
Speaker 1 (26:54):
His confidence? He has so much confidence. That's something that
I had to gain along the way way. You know,
my parents came from two families that they didn't really
have the confidence growing up. They didn't give me the
confidence because they didn't have it. They would always like,
I'm confident that I will always have whatever it is
(27:17):
I need to be the person that I strive to be.
I will always have enough. It's a bund. There's enough
for all of us. And that was a concept where
growing up, my mom and my dad both were like, oh,
you gotta work real hard. You know money, Oh, money
doesn't grow on trees. You know, it's it's not fair
out here. You know, these are type of things that
they would tell me. And that's not true. That is
(27:40):
an experience and they have also learned that that is
actually not true. I know all these sayings sometimes like
stick with us, right, like money doesn't grow on trees,
this and that, and you know, I saw my mom
crying over these bills and you know, me crying and
you know, growing up and it motivated me. But one
of the things they will always tell me, like even
(28:02):
when I got my license, my mom was like, make
sure like you take your hat off, make sure you
wear your hat to the on front you know, when
the police officer, if you get pulled over, make sure
you have both hands on the wheel, you know. And
these are things that a mother should tell a black
man in America, especially in a city like Detroit, you know.
And so I understood it, and there's a lot that
(28:24):
comes with that. But I think that I had to
gain my confidence, and one thing that he has is
his confidence, and I'm just so proud of him for that,
and like he is literally the evolution. That's why it's
important for you to work on yourselves, for your family members,
even whether you have kids or not. Your energy is contagious.
(28:45):
It's gonna spread to your group of friends, your work group,
your family, your kids, and especially when you have a family.
It's like your DNA is like a computer chip. It
like has all this information in it, right, So it's like,
it's important to heal your trauma because you're passing it on.
It's important to heal your gut and your liver and
(29:08):
all these things because you're passing your genetically passing everything on.
They're they're parts of you and your partner combined, right.
So I always looked at that and it taught that's
one of the things my son taught me is that, Okay,
he'll smile like my grandmother, or he'll smile like Janey's
grand you know. It's like little things like that, And
(29:30):
I realize that my grandparents. I always one of the
things with having a kid. I was like, I wish
I could talk to my granddad and like ask him
for advice. I wish I could talk to my grandma,
you know, all these people that aren't here anymore. And
I realize I can because the information is in my DNA.
I just have to go within and really lock in,
(29:50):
and the answer is there, you know. And that's something
to always remember that we always think that the answers
are out there, but really the answers most of the
time are right where you are. That's what That's actually
the concept of the Alchemist, one of my favorite books
as well.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah that's real. That, Yeah, that's real. That's so powerful.
You just gave me chills when you said that. That
idea that we always wish we could talk to this
person or that person, but their history lives within us. Yeah,
that's a really really powerful idea.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
That's why when people say, well, I'm living through you.
You know something, my dad always says he really, that's
for real talk. That's real talk.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
People are living with us and living through us at
all times. Yeah, and that's why we've got to be
so mindful as to what we pass on. If someone
in the audience is feeling a low sense of confidence,
low sense of self esteem, a low sense of even
self worth, maybe they've been told they're not worth anything,
Maybe they've been made to feel that they're not enough.
(30:49):
What's the first step to building that confidence as an adult?
Like you said with your child, he he already has it? No,
already has it. You had to build it over time.
I had to build it over time too. What was
that first step in building real, true, deep confidence?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
The first step was to understand that everyone is going
through something. Everyone has a story, everyone has a condition.
So I remember when I was nineteen years old and
it was a transitional time where I decided to do
music and turned down my scholarship right and a year
had gone by and I was a depressed person. It
(31:27):
was my first battle of depression because things weren't going
my way yet. It was God's timing. But you know,
you try and control the timing of life, and it's
like good luck with that. So anyway, I remember I
stopped to pump some gas at a place my mom
told me never to stop. And I was visiting my
girlfriend at the time that went to Michigan State. And
(31:48):
on the way from Detroit to Michigan State, there's a
place called how Michigan, and it's like one of the KKK,
Like it's like one of their headquarters, like not too
far from Detroit, which is one of the blackest cities,
and it's like crazy right Jux's position. I saw that
the exit I had to get gas, and it was
like you know when you see the gas station right
(32:09):
off the freeway and it's like, I could I gotta
be straight if I just go right here and pump gas.
And I got immediately. I got off and I pulled
up to the gas station and like just pickup truck
pulls up and they're like you neg, you neg. I
was like what Like I was like it had me
like super just like damn, like for real, like that
(32:32):
that's where we're at, like just two thousand and whatever,
you know, So I'm like for real, Like I thought
it was like a joke almost And later on, as
I was learning more about myself. I'm like, I don't
know what type, what type of stuff they had going on, like,
what their upbringing was like, what their parents are like,
what they could have been abused, they could have just
(32:53):
not understood the concept and understood who I am as
a person. Right, So it takes a lot of growth.
But my point is to say, how do you build
confidence in yourself? Because that's a moment where my confidence
got beat to the ground. I felt like crazy, inferior almost.
You know, how you build your confidence up is you
(33:15):
start to understand and you don't take things personal. Don't
take things personal, you don't let things things can hurt you.
You can see obviously, I'm like still emotional about that
time because it was such a pivotal moment for me.
It's not because it's hurtful to me. It's because it
was a pivotal moment in my development as a man
(33:36):
that nothing like that could ever affect me anymore, because
I understand that everyone comes from different walks of life.
You feel me, they don't think they're wrong, they think
they're right, as wrong as it is to me. I
had to realize that there is no real right or
wrong in this life. There's only a perspective, you know
what I'm saying, So from my perspective I think is wrong, right,
(34:01):
but not from theirs. But the point is when you
understand yourself more and you appreciate everything you have and
you start building up yourself mentally, when you start to
understand that, Okay, some people will just talk smack about
you for retweets or for whatever, or for to be funny,
(34:23):
you don't take things as personal and that builds up
your confidence when you get to know yourself more and more,
and when you know that you are unstoppable. We have
the power of a whole universe in us. I say
that because when you look at it, you think of
all the stars in the sky. That's exactly how all
our atoms are, in our cells, in our bodies. They
make up this like magical type of miracle that's going
(34:46):
on in us, right that we have like completely taken
for granted. But it's like we have what it takes
to create anything. We're like products of God. God is
in all of us, right, So just remember that that
you do you can, man, you will, you know, if
that's what you believe, you will make it happen whatever
it is whatever. Nothing is off limits. If it was
(35:11):
off limits, you wouldn't even think of it. You wouldn't
even it wouldn't even be a thought to you. I
just want to get that out.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah, I love that. I love that take on confidence
because I believe confidence comes from noticing how many hard
things you've done and how many hard things you've been through.
Like that moment you just spoke about, that's not an
easy moment to live through. And like you said, I
can see the emotion in your eyes, and I think
everyone can feel it. But it's like when you notice that. See,
(35:39):
since we were young, we were only taught in school
to notice what you did well, what you got right.
You weren't taught to notice how you did hard things.
And I promise you in this room, each and every
one of you has already done ridiculously hard things. Maybe
you live through the death of a loved one, maybe
(36:01):
you lived through a divorce, Maybe you found yourself after
a breakup, maybe you were broke and found yourself out
of that, or maybe you're in it right now in
one of those transition moments. And I've found that those
moments of pain unlock your greatest potential because when you
can see yourself at that moment and you can see
(36:22):
that you've lived through it, So start collecting, start noticing
how many difficult, hard things you've done. I remember, I
don't think I've talked about it before. I remember my
mom saying something crazy to me. I was going through
a really hard time in my early thirties and a
really really tough time, and I was on the phone
to her, and my mom does not say motivational things
(36:44):
to me. My mom doesn't say demotivational things to me.
But she doesn't say motivational things to me. And my
mom doesn't give me advice. I don't go to my
mom for advice. I love my mom and I tell
her I love her, and she tells me she loves me,
and she just wants to know what I ate for dinner, right,
Like that's my relationship with my mom.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Well that's a way of her saying she loves you, right.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Yeah, And she loves me to bit like she loves me.
Her love has been a shield in my life. But
I'm on the phone too and she's like, how's things going,
And I'm like, you know, barely vulnerable with my mom.
And I was like, Mom, you know what, it's just
a tough time, you know, But I got my head
down and working hard. And she said to me, well,
you well, you're used to dealing with stress. And I said,
what do you mean, Like you never said this to
me before, Like when did you become a motivational speaker?
(37:25):
Like what do you mean? And she goes, she goes,
You've been used to dealing with stress. And I was like,
what do you mean, Like you've never said that to
me before. And I never share my stresses with my mom,
like you said, like she's not the person I'm talking to.
And she goes, well, you dealt with so much stress
even when you were in my womb because of what
I was living through at the time. She said that
to me, and I was like, I was half in tears,
(37:48):
the other half was like full of like confidence. It
was like one of these moments of just like as
if like my whole self we was just like locked
back in together. And obviously I don't have any memory
of that.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I was a fat course, yeah right, And it's.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Say, but what's really fascinating is you've done hard things
even when you don't remember them, and you don't know
that and it's so important to remind yourself, and it's
so important to remind the people you love that they've
done hard things, because when you realize you've done hard things,
you can do harder things in the future. You find
confidence within them. So please today, look back at the
(38:25):
things you've broken through, things you've worked on, the hardships
you've been through, and celebrate your resilience as a human.
You don't need to wait to become strong. You already are.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, embrace it.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Right, you already are, Yeah, embrace it. Embrace it. I wanna, oh,
thank you. I want to pivot slightly. This is something
we've been trialing and it's been beautiful, and this is
a real opportunity. So only say yes, only raise your
hand if if you really want to honor this opportunity.
We've been talking about stop caring what people think. We've
(38:57):
been talking about doing a hard things. We've been talking
about becoming more confident. We've been talking about taking your moment.
Seeing as we have one of the greatest of all time,
one of the best big show on the stage, I
wanted to ask you all if there's and I mean
this for real, if you truly, truly mean it. If
there's a spoken word artist, a poet, a rapper in
(39:19):
the audience who wants to come on stage for sixty
seconds and spit some bars for us so that we
can experience their greatness. If you really want this opportunity
to be your moment, I want you to raise your hand.
If there's truly a poet or spoken word art. I'm
looking at the back. Is there anyone at the back?
Stand up? If you saying hi, I'm just looking around.
Stand up at the back. Anyone at the back? There's
(39:43):
one there? Anyone else? I just want to make.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Sure I see someone up there.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
I want to get someone from the top. Whos Is
there someone back there? Only if you're going to honor
the opportunity, don't don't steal the opportunity from anyone you're
pointing at him. Come on down, come on down.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Yeah, you know, Philly has like some of the best musicians.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
That's what I thought.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
That's all time, of all time.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
I want it to know. Before we dive into the
next moment, let's hear from our sponsors. Thanks for taking
a moment for that. Now back to the discussion.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
Okay, this is about being in a bad relationship. So
a real bad one. Okay, here we go, all right?
Why do I still love you when you throw beer
in my face, when I feel like you don't listen.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Or care what I have to say?
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Why do I still want you even though you blame
it all on me when you send me brutal messages
and constantly threaten to leave. Why is it I miss
you when all we seem to do is fight. Why
is it still you I want laying next to me
at night. Why do you come to me with your
issues when I can't come to you with mine. It's
because you listen to idiots all day with a preoccupations
(41:01):
and whining.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
This was a therapist.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Why is it always my fault when I know you
play a role too? Why am I always begging? And
why can't for once it just be you? Oftentimes I
want to give up and just throw the towel in,
but I don't, And I love you but not enough
to wish I didn't.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Ah, thank you.
Speaker 5 (41:36):
I'm feeling good, just very nervous. I listen to your podcast,
so I also I'd like to motivate people, okay, because
in life we're supposed to inspire those that need to
be inspired. And everybody needs to be inspired. You know,
we all go through life having problems and trauma an issue,
(42:01):
but deep down inside God is there. And I'm nervous
on stage, But every time I used to get on stage,
there was always nervousness and someone that deals with ADHD
and bipolar, and you know that's a survivor of many things.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Every single one.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Of y'all out there are special and y'all have something
inside of you. And I also wrap. I got a
little bit supper, Stay focused, never hopeless. Everything I do,
I move with motion. Should a bought a ocean pills
(42:38):
and potions? What's all the commotion? Thought we were moving,
Let's go, this has past since this is my man
ofic and meso. Like Michael Angelo, I said, hello, picture me.
I said, sit down by the lake, plant me by
the sea, deeply loving the rain from above.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
So my mom and dad, I love you.
Speaker 5 (43:00):
We had some fallouts, but I had no doubts that
this is the light that God has called me too.
I'm making new revenue with the old in the new.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Way up I phil blast, Yes, amazing courage to come
up here and and go through that. It's it's nerve wracking.
When you actually get up here and you see everyone
and you look around and you know you can't find
it in your phone, And that's that's the reality. Yeah,
(43:39):
that's the reason why I wanted to do that, and
we've done it at a couple of shows this week.
Is it's the reality because the first time you do it,
it's never gonna be perfect. You know, like you're gonna
be shaking, You're gonna have your phone where you can't
find it, you're gonna be scared of the mic, You're
gonna be worried. Like that's the reality. And the beauty
is people just feel your period, right, people just feel
(44:02):
your energy. I think you felt that when you heard
Morgan you could relate to what she was doing. It
was beautiful and.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
I really loved the concept she was saying too, Like,
first of all, you wrote a whole book on you know,
relationships and love and pertaining to that, and I wanted
to ask you, when you are per se in a
relationship with someone, right, that isn't beneficial for you? Right?
And it could be abusive in some ways depending on
(44:29):
how you look at it. Like you know, how Morgan
was describing her poem, like what advice would you give
to anyone who is dealing with a relationship of that
that they just can't seem to shake. And you know,
the funny thing about that is, like she even said
it in her poem that as bad as it is
and you separate, it's like you keep craving it back.
And I wonder why that is, Like why do you
(44:50):
keep craving it? Why do you only remember the good things?
Why do you kind of like put all the red
flags to the side. And you know, I feel like
that's a great question to ask you. Yeah, no, not
don't mean like that.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
No, no, no, you know, when I think it comes
to love, the hard part is we all want to
be seen sometimes. The tough part is this is the truth. Actually,
I'm gonna I'm gonna go a bit deep on this
because I feel you deserve it and I feel you
or crave it and want it from me, And so
I'm gonna I'm gonna say how I really see it.
(45:31):
The moment you recognize that no human can truly see
you the way God and you can see yourself, You're
free because that was never their job. It was God's job.
Like when you recognize that you're the only person You
(45:53):
and God are the only people that really know everything
You've been through, everything you've lived through, every emotion, every breath,
every moment you spoke, every moment in silence, every single moment.
The only person who's documented that is you and God.
And so when you free people of the expectation to
(46:14):
understand you, fully see you, fully comprehend you, you free
yourself of having to do that for everyone as well,
because you know you don't have the capacity either. So
what it does is it creates greater trust and faith
in the divine in yourself, and it creates greater compassion
for others. And I think that's what we're all really
(46:36):
looking for. We just all want a bit of grace
from the people that we love that we can't understand perfectly.
We all want a bit of compassion for not always
showing up as our best selves even when we try,
because we know we're all trying, but we don't always
meet that mark. And so if we can offer more
grace and compassion to others, and we can offer more
(46:58):
trust and surrender to our God, I think that's where
real love starts.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Yeah, and honoring yourself too, Right, You've got to really
honor yourself in that, Like the strength it takes sometimes
to drastically change your life is nothing more drastic than
when you have to change someone you spend so much
time with by choice, not because they passed away, not
because of anything else, but because you need to better yourself.
(47:24):
And the strength that that takes, it's nothing to like
downplay or anything. So I think that comes from it
all comes back from working on yourself right and like
really being confident enough in yourself and all these things
we've been talking about to be strong enough to be you.
Because sometimes when you're in a relationship, you lose parts
(47:46):
of yourself and you guys kind of become this one
thing together. It's kind of like a factory when all
the lights are on, and sometimes you shut off certain
parts of yourself and like this gets shut down and
that gets shut down, and you're kind of just a
fraction maybe of like the person you were. So the
beautiful thing is is when you recognize that and you
(48:08):
split from someone and you turn on all these other
parts of yourself and you're like the full version of you.
I think that is the best version to bring to
a relationship, and that is how you know It shouldn't
be one half make a hole. It should be two
holes make something greater. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
So absolutely well said, thank you, Sean. You've done the
final five before on the podcast, I want to end
with one last segment with you. We call it Past, Present,
Future And behind you you're going to see a picture
pop up in a second. Can we get the first please?
Speaker 1 (48:44):
That's back. Oh that's that's young Sean right there. That's
a little Sean. Yeah, I was. I was a point
guard on the for my school and we actually want
a championship in the eighth grade in our league. And
you know, everyone thought, like all the parents would be like,
he doesn't look like he's in eighth grade, but I
look like I'm in eighth grade to me. Yeah. That
(49:06):
was man, that was some good times right there.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
What advice would you give to that younger part self
of yours in eighth grade?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Just have fun quick, get out your head so much.
Just have fun and like you don't realize how young
you are when you're that young, you know what I'm saying.
Of just being care free, no bills, no like I
would just say, have more fun, have more fun.
Speaker 5 (49:29):
Man.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Yeah, quit being so hard on yourself.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
All right, let's get the second picture. This is you today?
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Oh yeah, I want to.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Ask you, what do you need to hear right now?
What are the words you need to hear right now
in your heart and mind?
Speaker 1 (49:45):
The thing that popped in my head, which I like
to go with naturally, as simple as it is, is
that it's gonna be fine as a as a man,
we always I don't want to characterize all men, and
I don't want to say this doesn't apply lot of
women as well. It does. I can only speak from
a man's perspective though, that we try and be the
(50:07):
head of the household and like provide and all these things.
And it puts a level of responsibility, which is something
that I am embraced. In turn always has to have
me do the self work I know, to like not
let it turn into anxiety and to not let that
turn into depression, because I can't afford that, you know,
(50:30):
I don't. It's something that I'm keeping far away from
my good energy and vibes. But the thing that starts
is the worry. And it's kind of what I would
tell my younger self, is what I would tell myself now.
Is to It's going to be fine. No matter what happens,
It's going to be fine.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
This one I've been doing for all my friends this week.
WHOA with the help of AI. With the help of AI,
I've been surprising all my surprising all my friends this week.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
So how old do you think you are that Juan?
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Wow, I would say, like, my dad's age like seventy
two three. My dad looks good for his age, so
like around.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Your dad looks great. Yeah, when you're that age, what
do you hope? You define success as.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Fun, fun, having fun. You got to have fun with it.
And that's one of the biggest pieces of advice I
could get to anyone is whatever you're doing, just you
can make it fun. You got a job you hate,
you got things that are the worst part of your day,
quote unquote the worst part, you can make it. How
you approach something literally changes the whole experience of you.
(51:43):
And that is one of the things like when you are,
like we were talking about going through hard times, like
embrace that, like, not only embrace it, celebrate it, because
that is just proof that you are experiencing parts that
are growing, pains, that you're growing into something. Right, and
(52:04):
that you not in alignment with whatever it is you're
going through. So just appreciate that because that, like I said,
I said this before, like that's just an indication that
you're meant for something greater. You're some different, some more,
and that's exciting. You know, life isn't all figured out
for you. I mean, how boring would that be? You
know what I'm saying, if everything was just right in
(52:26):
front of you and you knew exactly how to how
it was going to go, Like, embrace that unknowing. Don't
let it tear you down. Don't let it be a
fear based way of thinking. You know. Remember, fear is
just false evidence appearing real. Don't feed into it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, have fun, make it fun,
and know that anywhere you are on earth, that's where
you meant to be at and you can have a
(52:48):
good time with all the money, with no money, with
all the with it whatever, with all the friends, no
friends like there are, there's always a way to have
a good time. So that's what I feel like, that's
what ordered me, That's probably what would be on my heart.
And you know, if I'm lucky enough to make it to.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
That give it up for big sure and everyone. If
this is the year that you're trying to get creative,
you're trying to build more, I need you to listen
to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break
into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods
that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving
(53:29):
what you do. If you're trying to find your passion
and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value,
Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all
of the value.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
That's the success comes when you say I like this
enough for other people to see it.