CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My marriage. I felt the love dying that was crying
every day. I felt in the deepest depression that I
had ever had.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
The number one health and wellness podcast Ja Shetty J,
Sheddy One Only Sheddy, Cardi B. Welcome to on Purpose.
Oh my gosh. I have to tell you something, and
I mean this. You can go back six years when
I launched the podcast, people woul always ask me. They'd say,

(00:30):
who do you want on the show? Like who would
be your dream guest? And I'd always say Cardi B.
And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why because
no one would ever put us in the same room together.
We're just so different externally, but I believe there's a
spiritual connection that we'll find out today.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
You know what's so funny. I saw a video of
you and I definitely want I was like, I want
to stand to my boyfriend. But it's about like asking
difficult questions. And it's like when you when you ask
difficult questions and you get through, you get over the
difficult question and you've discussed the difficult questions, it really
do make you stronger. It really do make the relationships strong,

(01:11):
and it's like, oh my gosh, he really, It's like,
is he a psychic?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Did you send it to? Did you send it to?
What did he say?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
He was like yeah, exactly, And I was like, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Did it change any behavior.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
On the next question?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
I love it. I love it. I wanted to ask you.
First of all, I heard that you have a hidden
talent that you can name the forty six presidents in order.
Is that real?

Speaker 1 (01:41):
I can't go it comes and go, it comes and go.
I just know a lot of weird different facts about presidents,
and people will be like, well, why that is so random?
Like when I was younger, I didn't really have like
Nintendo's and I didn't sometimes I had cable and sometimes
I didn't, So I just really ain't had no choice
but read, and like I like to read like factual stuff,

(02:02):
so I would just read like a whole bunch of
history things. Like me, I will literally when I'm bored,
Like you know how they give you the history books
in your school, I will literally read the whole history
book in a week, from front to back, just because
I'm bored.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Wow, that's impressive, though, do you still get bored now?
Do you even have time to be bored?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Or I don't be bored. But that's like what I
really just like to watch and everything. So like I
watched it like watch youtubes on like factual things like
I just get into certain certain topics and I always
go down a rabbit hole and then I'd be obsessed
with it for a week and then it's just like whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I feel like you can't go anywhere without being recognized.
I mean, you have such an iconic look. Even today
I was admiring it when you walked in. I was like,
what inspires this? But if you could be anonymous for
twenty four hours? Yeah, what would you do if no
one could recognize you, no one could see you? What
would you do? Well?

Speaker 1 (02:55):
You know what's so funny, Like I really do, like
I don't always look like this, So I usually go
outside probably with glasses are probably not but I always
go outside with like a oversized hoodie and then I'm
not even gonna lie. Due to COVID for like a
long time, it really did help using the mask. But

(03:15):
I do a lot of things by myself and no security,
just because I'm a person that if I want to
if I want to go and buy a steak to cook,
I will go downstairs to Hole Foods and buy it.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
And yourself care no no, no, and no one will see you.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
They might or they might not. But I feel like
I already maneuver how to like, Oh, it's Cardi B
And I just walk fast and maneuver my way around.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
That's impressive. Yeah, you know, this show is all about
getting to know the person behind the music, behind the
start and behind the fame, getting to know the human
behind it.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
And I feel like your journey, even though you've talked
about it, I'd love to dive into some parts that
I find fascinating. Yeah, And I wanted to ask you,
what's a childhood memory that you have that you think
defines who you are today.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh, it's a lot. Well, it's not really like a
childhood memory. But me and my sister we used to
go to the same school, right, even though like she's
three years younger than me. And she always be telling
me this thing, right, she always be telling me this
She used to She always tells me like, oh, I

(04:24):
used to see you in the cafeteria in the morning
by yourself, with your head down, and I used to
feel so bad for you. And it's like why And
she's like I don't know, because you just looked so lonely.
And I used to tell her like it's like I
was not lonely. I just always need time to think

(04:45):
and be by myself. Like I'm a person that I
have friends, but I don't really like to be around
people that much. Sometimes I just I'm always in my thoughts,
like there's like a hundred people and I feel like
it's been like that since I was five years old.
That talk in my head and plan things out, plan
my future, plan my life. It's like I'm playing dollhouse

(05:07):
in my head. You know that when you play with
your dog, you make a scenario, not a scenario, or
like you you build your home and this and your that. Yeah,
like a little universe. I'm always planning a universe in
my head. And it's just sometimes people say that I
have like an interesting look, like like if I'm spaced out,

(05:27):
I'm not spaced out. I'm I'm deep in my universe
and planning five years ahead.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Wow, so you're dreaming, planning, visioning. You do these different
workers different use in your head, have different names or
personalities or no, it's just no, it's not really.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
No different personalities it's just straight planning tomorrow, straight, planning
for five years straight straight imagining what I what I want.
And it's crazy because it's like everything that I plan
for I was five and dreamed of, I really gotten it.

(06:06):
Even when I was like younger. Even when I was
like younger, I used to look at my mom and
I used to be like, I want to be so
pretty and beautiful like her, and I grew up to
be the pretty beautiful woman that she is. But I
also wanted, like to be very successful, very I'm not

(06:32):
gonna say rich, but like very successful. I really hate
it being poor. And I used to say, like it's
that I refuse to have kids and raise them in
the hood. I have to find a way to never
do that. But I always wanted kids, and I figured

(06:52):
it out. And I not only did I figure it out,
but it's like I always have plan B, c's, and d's,
but I don't have then had to settle for plan
BC and D had. I settled for my dream, Like
this is my dream job, and I have it. It's
a little bit more difficult than what I saw in
my dreams, but I'm living it. But I always wanted Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
That's incredible as that little girl who was sitting alone
that your sister said she would see you and she'd
feel sorry for you. But inside your head you were dreaming.
Was it dreaming about music? Was it dreaming about getting
out the hood? What were those dreams? What did they
look like to that little girl back then?

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I always felt like I was going to be a superstar.
And it's so weird because my grandma, she has like
a lot of grandkids, but she always used to tell
me that, And it's like why you always used to
tell Like I don't understand why she used to tell
me that all the time. Like I used to be

(07:50):
like a little black sheep. I used to like nag
a lot. I have like cousins. They're very pretty, they
have beautiful, beautiful eyes. They just stand out so much.
And it's not that I don't stand out, it's just
like out of everybody. My grandma used to be like,
you're gonna be a superstar. You need to practice how
to sing because you're gonna be a superstar. And I

(08:13):
just knew I was meant to be something like for
some reason, me and my sister we have like really
strong personalities and I feel like like the things that
they used to tell me, they would tell her the
same thing too, like all my teachers, all my friends,
they're gonna be like you're gonna be somebody. You're gonna
be somebody someday. But I always used to wonder, like

(08:34):
it's like, what is my calling? Because I used to
like acting in school, but I'm not a good actress.
I used to like singing, but I'm not a good
I'm not the greatest singer, like from the pack from
the school, I'm not the greatest singer. Like if I
will audition for a play, they will pick somebody else
because they sing better than me, or they will pick
somebody else because they act better than me. So and

(08:57):
then it's like, oh, people used say like I'm so funny,
but it's like I'm not a comedian. Hand THU show
like I am. I'm naturally funny, but I can't see
it as my job, just just just my mouth. This
is just me being me. So it's like what is
my calling? And I always wonder what is my calling?
That everybody say that it's like I'm gonna be somebody,

(09:17):
but what am I gonna be? I don't know? And
and God gave it to me. God show it to me,
and God really did give it to me. And here
I am, and I just can't believe that millions of
people know me.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Congratulations when I hear you say that, and you always
exude this confidence, your outspoken, you're bold. Was it always
like that since you were a young girl? Or did
that develop over time? What did? Where did that come from?

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I was like born like this, I was always I
always been like this. I guess I got my real
quiet side and I always got like into myself side,
because like I said, I'd be in my own universe
quiet planning and planning. But I feel like when I
open my mouth or when I am who I am,

(10:05):
it's just this is just how I am. But if
I kind of think about it, I mean, like my
family are very like funny, They're very loud. My parents
are a little different from each other, but they're very loud.
They have very strong personalities, both of them. So I
feel like it's just all came into me. So it's like,

(10:27):
you know how people I don't know, maybe you know
how people parents give their kids they looks. I think
my parents gave me a mix of they both personality.
I'm a little bit of both of them.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Cardib even still today, finds time for her quiet side.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I'm naturally quiet, though I don't.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Like tell me about that. I want to know about that.
I don't think people know that.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, Like I'm naturally in my room, just deep in
my thoughts and just deep, deep deep. I might just
talk to you the whole day as a friend on
the phone, but I don't really want to see you,
which is so weird. Like I could talk to my
friends all day long, but I like to be by
myself all the time.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
I really people surprised when they figure that out with you.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, And my friends don't feel a certain type of
way about that because they know me. They know, yeah,
they know I'm not the friend they want to go
out to dinner. They know that I'm not that. They
know I'm not the friend there. Oh, I'm just gonna
go to your house and chill and blah blah blah.
But we will be on the phone like forever.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
So what about like parties, events, all of that kind
of stuff that's like is it work? Is it networking?

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Or I do like to party, but sometimes I haven't
even really had the time for it lately. I haven't
really had the time for it. And to be honest
with you, even before I was like famous and everything,
I wasn't really a club girl. I was already a dancer.
So I work in the club. So it's like I
didn't really care to like, oh, I'm going to the

(11:56):
club today for what I work in it Like, it's
just like I always been like a person that just work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work,
focus on the bigger picture, just focus on the biggest thing.
I always wanted kids, So the goal is to be
comfortable before the kids get here. That was always my goal.
My goal was always to be a mother, but having

(12:18):
your own. I had my own before I became a mother.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, I mean you said just a few moments ago
that you didn't want to raise kids in the hood.
Talk to me about what we don't know about that,
Like how hard was it? What was it that was
so bad that you were like, I could never raise
my kids in the place I grew up in.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
It's just a lot of things, like sometimes when kids
are like bad or they get into trouble, people automatically
blame the parents. And you could have the best parents,
and my parents, there are not criminals. They have never
even committed a crime. My grandma used to tell my
mom a lot, like I said, you're pretty for no reason.

(12:57):
And I feel like they used to tell her that
because it's like she's so pretty. So it's like, you know,
Caribbean folks, is like when you're pretty and you're this
and that, it's like they always expect it to be
with a man. They got a lot of money. And
my mom she was never even that type of person.
She was a very modest and honest, hard working woman.
So and my dad, he's a good man. He's a

(13:18):
party animal, but he's a good man. He's a good person.
He's a good dad. However, you will end up going
in the wrong path or going in the wrong direction
because the influence around you, because certain peer pressure, or
because you almost have no choice, especially if you're a boy.

(13:40):
You never know if you're gonna have a boy or girl,
especially if you're a boy, and when you are a girl,
it is a little bit difficult, it is a little
bit tougher. I feel like people just grow a little
bit faster in the hood. Like when I was eleven
years old, there was girls in my class in the
sixth grade, eleven years old. I have nieces dire eleven
years old. The other one of the played roadblocks nowadays,

(14:02):
But when I was eleven years old, there was girls
that were already at eleven in sixth grade. So it's
like you go certain paths path or your environments. Like
boys too in the hood, they're a little faster. So
you know, you will be walking down the block and

(14:25):
the typical little bad boy, he'll slap your ass. I
don't know where he'll slap your ass. I don't know where.
You start arguing him, we will smack the shot your
face there. That's how boys, a lot of boys in
the Bronx are. They're very like aggressive. They're aggressive of girls.
They're aggressive. They grouped out. They they grope you. You
just never know. Like the one of the reasons also

(14:46):
why I'm so witty with my mouth. We were like
why are you so witty? Why are you so think?
Like going to school, it was like it's almost like
like I think that's why I'm always so tough like
boys or girls. Mostly boys, they used to like kind
of like make fun of certain things, but not only

(15:07):
just me, to everybody, like like you look at your shoes,
they're leaning. Look at your hair. Your hair is never
not done. So I used to go home and I
used to go in the mirror and practice my jokes.
And the next day I will be like, I can't
wait till he flamed me. I got a joke or
too for him. That's why I'm so weighty too as well.

(15:30):
So it's like I don't want to raise my kids
in that type of environment. I don't want to. And
then on top of that, it's like it is fun.
I had a lot of fun in the hood, but
it's like it's not fun, like for me, right, it's
not fun living in an apartment. Right. And contrary to

(15:51):
what I say, I don't cook, I don't clean. I
grew up with a mom that will make me brush
the corners, the corners the apartment like brush it by hand.
That's how clean my home had to be. My crib
had to be every day. I was doing dishes, every day,
I was mopping floors every day. I was making sure
that I go outside to the parking lot and take

(16:14):
off the garbage. And even though no matter how clean
your apartment is, there will still be roaches, there will
still be miceist because your neighbor probably a hoarder, the
person downstairs is dirty. Y'all all live in the same building.
You cannot avoid certain certain rodents and stuff. And it's
like I don't want to put my kids through that,

(16:36):
and it's like I have to find another way. And
then then another thing that always like gets me in
my head. It's like this one time, my mom, she
was working very hard, but we still needed help, so
she went to welfare to get like benefit, like a
benefit card and stuff like that. And the lady, like
my mom, she's the type of person like it's like

(16:57):
if you route to her, she's gonna be like, oh,
I don't gotta take this, and she would just throw
them out, like I don't gotta take nobody gotta gonna
talk to me like that. She got a very strong character.
And this lady was talking so rude and so nasty
to my mom, and she was taking it because we
needed the help. I don't want nobody to feel like
they have to talk to me a certain type of

(17:18):
way because I need the help. And it's like this
could never ever be me. I would never want to
like be in a situation where I have to go
get welfare and the social worker is talking to me
like I'm a dog, I gotta need you. And I
just felt so bad for my mom because she just
felt so I have to tell her face that she
she was just like looking for the papers that she needed.

(17:41):
Like it just that vision is always in my head
and it's like efy getting me mad. I hope that
lady I want punch in her face to this day
and I don't want that. I ain't wanted that. And
as a woman, even if you get with a man
with money, you should have your own because one thing
you learn from young, one thing I learned from having aunts.

(18:04):
You could have a man with money. You can have
a kid with money if you stop doing what that
man ask you to do, or if that man decides
to leave, or if you deal with a man from
the streets and you go to jail, that's your child,
that's you, that's your responsibility, that's your hustle. You got

(18:24):
a ground for that child. It's always two parents, but
sometimes not really two parents. And if that could be
alive right there, and then that's why you always got
to have your own. It's not even about oh, I
don't need a man I don't need the father. I
don't need the thing. But sometimes they get to the
point that it's like they're gonna make you feel that way.
That's why you need it. I had cousins and I

(18:45):
have aunts, and I have it. That is like they man,
have a little bit of money, have a little bit
of land, have a little bit of this, and one
of those mans are done and through with you and
put you off the wringer. It's like, yeah, I'm not
dealing with that kid no more more. Or like you
get these two hundred dollars every three four months when
I want you to, I'm not dealing with that shit.

(19:08):
That's why I was like, but I always wanted to
have kids, So it's that I have to have my
own ship before I become a mom. And that's exactly
what happened. And only do I not only have one kid.
I have three kids. And that's exactly not exactly the
number that I want. But I always wanted a big family,
Like I love family. I love family, and there's a

(19:29):
higher possibility that I won't be in a living assistant home.
But all the kids, how many kids do you want?
I want like six?

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Okay, it's three more. I want like three more kids,
three more kids. I love that for you. I mean
hear hearing you say that. I mean, as I was
listening to you, I could tell there's like a there's
almost like a you can almost vision what that life
was like. Yeah, And there's a part of you that's
like so happy you got out. At the same time,

(19:56):
there's there's such a part of it that the inside
of you that you've been fighting against, you've been breaking
out of, right, Like for all of these years, when
was the moment you felt like I'm out, Like I
broke out? Like, when was that moment where you really
felt like I did it? I'm out, I made it.
You know I'm safe now.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
It's crazy because every single time I feel like I
felt like I was safe, I really wasn't. Oh interesting, yeah,
when I got on TV. When I first got on TV,
I was like, did I make it? I didn't feel
like I made it? Because I used to see girls
go on reality TV shows and then they will end
up right back in the strip club where I was at.
So I never felt like it's like, oh, on TV,

(20:39):
I made it. It's like I'm almost there, but I
didn't make it. Then when I got signed to a label.
It's like I'm almost near making it because I'm signed,
but I'm not where I want to be. Where I
really felt like I made it was when bort Like
Yellow came out. The million that I've made, the first

(21:01):
real million that I made, I had to share nobody.
I had to share with managers because they signed me
to something. It's mine is mine. But I never feel comfortable.
I still to this day don't feel comfortable, especially with
how everybody just trying to take it from you all
the time. It's like, it's like I fight every day
to keep this level of success because people want it

(21:24):
take it from you so bad, and people just feel
like and they could, they could tell you when you
deserve to have this success because it just looks so easy.
But it's not, It really is not. It's a it's
a challenge to stay here. It's a challenge to stay relevant.

(21:44):
It's it's a challenge. Is to keep your mental health right.
It is a challenge to getting up is every day.
Every day is a challenge. Is a job. Everybody has
a job. You can't come about getting up and doing
a job. The only thing I could complain about is
millions of people that love you, and then millions of

(22:07):
people getting in your head and telling you that you
don't deserve your job that you work hard for. That's
what it is. We all have jobs. That's what it
is about being Oh, don't don't complain, So everybody want
to complain. It works so hard, It works so hard,
It works so hard. You have to work hard to
pay your bills. But when you work hard and people

(22:28):
tell you that you don't deserve the success that you
have and you don't deserve to do what you do
after you put in so much work, that's with you
for real?

Speaker 2 (22:40):
What makes you feel like that every day? What are
the things that make you feel like there's people constantly
coming at you? What does that look like in your life?

Speaker 1 (22:49):
I tell you something that has been going on for
like a hot minute, right, Like a lot of people
think that I put out music then and put out
an album that I don't be putting out this and
that because I don't know. They always say that, like
I'm always getting pregnant all the time. But I don't

(23:09):
think people follow timelines when it comes to having kids.
I'm very seasoned by no, I'm very seasoned right now
when I had my child. At the beginning, I canceled
going on a tour with Bruno Mars because it was
my first time having a kid. I did not know anything.

(23:30):
I didn't have no nanny, no night nurse. I was
figuring out all by myself. I was figuring out postpartum.
I was figuring out everything right. But even when I
had a child, it didn't stop me. Three months after
I gave birth, I was going. I was doing shows,
four or five shows a week into COVID. Then COVID

(23:54):
happened and I put out this big record Wop, and
I put up up. Then I got pregnant and people
thought that I didn't put out an album because I
got pregnant. But the reason why I didn't put out
an album is because I didn't have a body of work.
I just didn't have a body of work. So I
couldn't put out no music because I didn't have a
body of work. Then last year I was planning to

(24:18):
have an album. I was planning to put out an album,
but I couldn't focus. I felt in the deepest depression
that I had ever had, and with that depression, I
couldn't function. I couldn't function on nothing. And when I
talk about function, it's not even like, oh, just working.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do nothing.

(24:42):
So that just halted everything that I had. So it's
not really because of having a baby. Sometimes too, I
don't be wanting to put music because I love being
in the studio and I love creating music and I
love perfecting my craft. And that's like baking a cake.

(25:02):
You bake a cake, you practice baking a cake, you
practice baking a cake, and then when you put out
the songs, sometimes it'd be good, and sometimes like for
people would just be like, we hate it and she
shouldn't be doing this. And that's like you're baking a cake.
You bake a cake. You bake a cake, and people
eat the cake and then people be like, this is

(25:22):
the worst cake ever, and they splat it. Have you
ever seen the Simpson shit when they splat the cake.
That's how I be feeling, And it's like that is
the worst feeling ever. That's like a guy can you
and you think you have the best pussy in the
world and they tell you your pussy's trash. You should
never nobody no more. That's just how I feel like.

(25:44):
You work your work, you work, you try it on
your best to perform perfect your craft, and somebody just
tell you like, you shouldn't be doing this, you should
never do this ever in your life. It brings you
down so much and if which your mental so much
that it's like, this is why I kind of avoid it,
just for a piece of mind, Just for a piece
of mind. I've been okay for almost a year. Like

(26:11):
after I gave birth to my daughter, I was a
little happy. I was going outside, I started dating, I
started feeling really good. Sometimes I have bad days. Sometimes
I have good days because I feel like I'm resetting
in life. Last week, when I put out a song
and it's not really the criticism in the song, the

(26:32):
way that people ate me up, tore me up, chewed
me up just because of one song, I feel like
I didn't deserve that, especially for a song that I
put so much work in that I just was like,
this is why I don't really put music out like this,
because I remember how this used to feel. This is

(26:53):
a very terrible feeling to have. This is a very
terrible feeling to have and tell yourself like it's like
a lot of these people that are telling you these
type of things, don't have no jobs, don't have no titles,
don't have no this. But when it's millions and millions
and hundreds of thousands of people, like, it's like, not
only are they criticizing the song, they're criticizing you as

(27:15):
a whole. It's been like, this is why I don't
really put things up too much, because it's just like
the mental health, the peace of mind is it's so much,
it's you just gotta ask yourself some times, is it
even worth it? Is it even worth it? Because I
haven't felt down like last week for a very long time,

(27:39):
for almost like almost like a year, almost like a year.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Wow, talk to me about that depression for you, as

(28:03):
confident as you are, as bold as you are, to
be so vulnerable and I'm so sorry you went through that,
But to be so honest and open about the fact
that a year ago you were in this dark depression,
it seems like the worst that had ever been. Yeah,
what got you there? Why are you feeling so low?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
It was just a lot of pressure from my career,
and I also felt like my marriage, like I felt
the love dying from may end from from from may end,
from his end. I was very lonely because I chose

(28:41):
to be lonely, choose to be lonely. I was saying, like,
you know what, I can't go through this anymore. I
have to put a stop to it. But when I
said I was going to put a stop to it,
because you could say you're gonna put a put a
stop to it, and you could. You could go a
month without being around somebody, It's not it's not unto you.
It's not when you say so, it's when your heart says.

(29:06):
So I kept telling myself, I will not contact this
person for a month. I will not give in. I
will not forgive this easy. I will not go back,
I will not go to the patterns. I will not
go through it. But I was crying every day. I
was hurt every day I was out here in La
and imagined by myself. I was thinking about it every

(29:28):
single day. And when your heart is not done, your
heart is not done. Then I told myself, I'm pregnant.
I'm going to accept the I'm gonna accept my flaws,

(29:52):
the flaws that I bring in this marriage. I'm gonna
apologize for it, and I'm gonna work on it. And
when I take accountability and you take advantage of me
taking accountability, and you take that as a see, I
know she'd be back instead of me taking accountability and

(30:14):
you taken advantage of that, it really just killed everything.
And while it was dying, I had a human growing
in me and I just had and I just kept thinking, like,
it's like, what's life going to be without this person?
What life going to be without raising my last child?

(30:36):
Without this person? What's life going to be with that
person not being my friend anymore? Without nothing. When you
have those type of thoughts, it would make you sad,
It will get you depressed, it will have you lost.
But I overcame that and I am the strongest that

(30:58):
like I have ever been, and like I almost feel
like when was I ever my strongest. I felt my
strongest when I was twenty two, twenty three, twenty four.
That's when I feel like my strongest. And I was
like living in a power, and that's how I feel
right now, like I feel like I live in a power.
And it took months for the heart to say you're done.

(31:24):
Instead of my mouth and my brain, my heart had
to be like you're done, because you could say it
and you could take actions. But even if you take actions,
if you're not done, you're not done. Like I kept asking,
like around that time, I was working with Shakiro, and
I was like, how did you over overcame this? Like?
How did you overcame this? And it's like it's going

(31:44):
to happen and it's like it will never happen. And
it happened. It took some crying, it took some thoughts,
scary thoughts. What I'm here, Yeah, I'm here and long
as I've been, and I'm just.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I love hearing that m.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
But it was hard.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
I can tell. I could tell, I could see it
as I'm speaking to you. It's it's not easy. And
I think those moments in all of our lives are
the most difficult moments. What did you do for your
mental health at that time? What did you do? What
actions did you take? What did you have to do
to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you
are right now? I think there are so many people

(32:29):
who are listening who've probably been through similar things, who
feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost and confused. What works
for you that helped you come back the strongest you've
ever been.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I don't know if it was just time because I
kind of did a little bit of everything, Like I
did do therapy at this at this or therapist. She's
really good. By the way. It was like on Zoom
and it was like I was telling myself like I
was like, I can't believe you. I'm telling a whole

(33:02):
stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for three
hours straight. What then am I doing? That just feels
so weird. I was in I did therapy for I
did a couple accessions. They gave me no nothing. I

(33:25):
was on Spring all summer recording. It just wasn't like enough.
I just felt like I just had to let it
die on its own. Let things die on its own.
And the bad thing about it is that it's like
now only am I dealing with that? That's my personal life.
I was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me

(33:49):
because they want, you know, they want album, they want
products from me. I had people that don't like me
talking down on me, and then I had peers trying
to start pounds with me and all of that while
I was going through a mental sking breakdown at home.
So it was just a lot it was like, I'm

(34:11):
trying to work it, I'm trying to sleep it. After
I gave birth to my daughter, my baby girl, I
was just like, get take a break from work, and
I was just going out every weekend with my friends.
It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them

(34:35):
a little piece of me, not just out my heart,
just a little piece of me.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
And but.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
I overcame that and I just that's why I feel
like I just became a little bit more better, Like
just resetting.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Yeah, it's good. It's a good reminder that time is
the ultimate reset, and time does have a healing power
that we you know, the cliche of time heals or wounds,
but it's the truth. But it's true. It's a cliche
because there's truth in it. Yeah, there's some reality in
it that time and distance and being patient enough I was.

(35:16):
I was working with a client recently who was going
through a breakup, and when we would speak, in the
first month, she would tell me every single day that
she couldn't stop thinking about the guy she was breaking
up with that broke up with her, And then the
second month she'd tell me every other day, and then

(35:38):
the third month she'd tell me once a week. Yeah,
and then the fourth month she was just telling me
once a month, and I was like, you don't see it,
but I see, yeah, that it's affecting you less and
less and less as time goes on. But when it's you,
you feel like you're just still stuck there. And so
it's such a great reminder that time is the ultimate
reset and time does heal.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
And just because time heal, like in the meantime, don't
think that like you shouldn't like try to get help
because it's like therapy didn't really help me, like that
I didn't work for you, not as much. Well maybe
because maybe because I didn't get to the park of
where you get the help. I mean I did do

(36:19):
this like six sessions, I don't know how long. Like
sometimes when I give advice to girls, I be like, bitch,
boss up, boss up, quote to word, get pretty. But
even when I was doing that, I had like a
pain in my heart. And sometimes when I was going
out with my friends and I was having a good time,

(36:40):
it will always be like around four thirty am when
it's time to go home and I'm drunk and I'm
thinking to myself, I am alone. I don't have nobody
to talk to, and it feels really weird, and it
feels very lonely, especially when you're used to that. However,

(37:02):
don't don't avoid that, don't like, don't avoid that. But
it will be time that will heal it. It will
be time. Time just heals everything.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
When you said again last week, you're saying, when you
put new music out, it was kind of the lowest
you'd felt in another year. What's the hardest part for
you to take that criticism? Because, like you said, you're
quick with it, You've got responses, You've lived in a
place where you had people coming at you. Why is
it so hard to put out something you love. It
seems like you've really put your heart into your work. Yeah,

(37:36):
and so when you put that out, is that why
the criticism hurts the most? Because you put so much
heart and soul into your work.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yes, because I put it like a lot. I always
I don't like what like. I'm not a lazy person,
and I do understand my flaws. Well, it's not really
my flaws because a lot of people who say something
about my accent, right, But it's funny because my accent
to some people might be my flaw, but it's also
my superpower and what makes me unique. Some people say

(38:06):
that I have a Spanish a Spanish accent, but I
really don't really have a Spanish accent. I have a
very unique accent. I talk very unique. When you try
your best to like perfect your accent, perfect your flows,
perfect everything. I always trying to perfect everything that I'm
doing at the time. I always trying to perfect it.

(38:27):
Like even when I was a stripper, I just like, Okay,
I'm a stripper, but I'm gonna be the best poll
dancer in here, and I'm a fucking bust my ass,
bust my knees, get practice every day and to be
the best at it. That's the same with music. I'm
gonna perfect it. That's the same with my marketing, I'm

(38:50):
gonna perfect it. That's the same with my business. I'm
gonna perfect it. I like to perfect things, and if
it's not the best things, if I'm not the best
at it, I said that I tried to be and
I worked my ass off to be and I didn't
make it easy for myself. So when people just throw
it in your face and then make other narratives on

(39:12):
top of it. With that it's like that is so mean.
And it's also like different narratives of you, Like it's like, Wow,
you don't even know me. You don't even know me,
and you're making all these story scenarios, all this this
over one song. Like for example, when I did this

(39:32):
song and people didn't like this song so many people
was like they just car Carty never deserved to be
a rapper. They just made it so easy for her.
And it's funny because it's like this shit was not
given to me. I worked my ass off for me,
and I planned it just like you see when I

(39:53):
was a little girl used to plan everything. I plan
every step, every single step. And I might even be
inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time,
since I have such a big personality, people just felt like,
she's funny. She's funny, she's funny. So it was really

(40:13):
hard for labels to take me serious. And some labels
were trying to give me scraps to do a slavering
record deal. And even when I was on TV and
I thought that was gonna be my big break for
people to recognize me as an artist, it wasn't. I
was doing good numbers on my mixhape. It wasn't enough.

(40:37):
So the money that I was getting for partying and hostings,
I took that money. I made my own concerts, and
the best thing about it is that everything is documenting.
I did my own concerts five hundred to four hundred
people in New York. Eight hundred people came out singing

(40:58):
my songs. And I went to the label and I
was like, this is why you need to sign me.
It's not just the Instagram. It is real life. And
the fifteen thousand dollars that I used to get for
hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, ramt buses,

(41:18):
rent venues, to perform my songs, to show these labels
like it's like I'm the one. This shit ain't fake.
This shit ain't a personality thing, this ain't a love
and hip hop thing. This is this is what my
music is doing. This is the people singing it, doing
all of that and not being this far after you

(41:41):
plan everything and people will tell you that you don't
deserve it and you got it because of this this
and that that pisces me the off because everything, everything
that I did is documented. This shit wasn't given to me.
I didn't open my legs for it neither. So that's
the type of ship that be getting me angry, Like

(42:02):
it's I don't tell me that I didn't put the
work in. When I put the work in. There's days
that I miss, I miss birthdays, I miss I miss birthdays,
I miss family events. This ship has gotten in the
way of like my my, my personal relationships, marriage and everything,
just for somebody told me, somebody that never did shit

(42:23):
in their mother life told me that I don't deserve it.
Got here.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Absolutely. I mean, you know what, though, I also find
that Instagram and TikTok or whatever platform. It is the
comments that are negative are just loud because you can
literally go to someone's comments section and see negativity or whatever.
But then, like you said, you go to an arena
and everyone in the arena screaming their name and singing
their songs, and so it is this really weird thing

(42:52):
that happened that happens for the mind where you're watching
your page or you're watching yourself on someone else's page,
and there's criticism and actually there's all these other people
that love you. The negativity and the hate is just
so loud. It is people say stuff. Yeah, whereas the
people I love you, they just press the heart right.
So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like,
the mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive

(43:16):
feedback because the negative feedback is just so critical and
loud and heavy. When you reflect on it and after
you think about it for a week, do you think
I want to prove them wrong? Or do you go, actually,
who cares about them? Where do you end up after
a week of reflecting on it?

Speaker 1 (43:32):
Like last week, right, I was in tears and I
was telling myself. I was telling myself like it's like
not only myself, I told this to my friend. Actually
I told this to my friend. I was like, sometimes
people say, don't let the devil win, but what happens
if you let the devil win? Maybe I need to

(43:53):
let the devil win so I can have a piece
of mind. And then I'm like thinking to myself, like,
why the fuck would I ever say let the devil win?
In imagine praying to God on your knees every single night,
asking God, God, please bless me with this. God, please
give me that. God, please give me this, Please give

(44:13):
me that, Please bless me with this. Please bless me
with that, just so you could, like everything that God
gave you, tell the devil here you can have it,
because he's sending Sometimes the devil sends evil and human
forms and human mouths and human's tongue, just so you

(44:36):
could tell the devil to have it. Like imagine how
God feels. Imagine God be like, all right, baby, all right, girl, here, here, here, here,
have this. You wanted this, here, here's what you get.
And then it's that he's giving you something. And then
you go to school and they'd be like, that's ugly

(44:56):
and that's something that you've been asking him for a
long time, and now you don't like it because some
he told you that it's ugly. And it's like, how
almost let the devil win. And I was telling myself that.
I was telling myself that, and like I said, I
was telling it. But sometimes you got to have believe
it from the heart. Because your mind could tell you it,
your moth could say it, you gotta believe it from

(45:16):
the heart. This week, though, I feel so much better
and I feel so much confident, and I was like,
I'm not gonna let the devil win. I'm not going
to be like you know what I was telling my
team like, I was like, you know what, I just
need some days off. And it's like, how the are
you going to take some days off when your team
been planning all of these all of these things that
you have to do for your album roll out because

(45:37):
of these people that are spewing things that the devil
wants you to think of yourself, I almost let this
mother win.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Don't let the devil win, because how you.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Think God feel, How think God feel? CARDI gave you
all this ship you wereen asking for it forever just
so you could say that. That really pissed me off
about myself, because I can't believe I said that.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Well, no, I think it's human. I mean, even as
I'm listening to I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because
you know when someone is confident and as bold as
you are and as outspoken as you are, which is
which are all amazing qualities. The truth is, though, that
we all have these human moments. Yeah, and it's not
a weakness. It's natural for all of us to feel pain,

(46:25):
to experience, sadness, to experience and it humanizes you in
a good way. It makes me feel like, oh wow,
if CARDI feels that, then hey, I can feel that too.
You know, like if she goes through those days and
she gets out of them and a week later she's
feeling better, and a year ago she was in a
real mess and she's feeling better, then then maybe I
can take something from that as well.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect person,
and sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
How do you think you're misunderstood?

Speaker 1 (46:55):
I don't even want to bring this up again, but
is that I can tell you how I misunderstood. I
actually got dragged for weeks because of this, so I
made this. I think I'm just a little misunderstood sometimes
I could be I don't have a dog. I'm not
a dark humor person. I'm not a dark humor person,

(47:15):
but sometimes like my humor could be a little rough,
and I feel like my humor could be a little
rough because, like you know, like I said, like boys
in the Bronx, they will make really tough jokes on you.
And then on top of that, like it's like like
a family like mine, We're always cracking jokes on each other.
Like it's like like being Caribbean careban people like if

(47:39):
you're too skinny. They'll be like, girl, you shape like candle,
Like you shape like a candle, just small like a candle,
like a white candle, or like Dominicans like where you
shape like big from the top and small and be
like what what you got. It's a certain type of yam.
And it's like it's rude, but it's like it's just

(47:59):
something that it is, like people just joke around that
it's just so naturally. So sometimes my jokes might be
a little bit not for everybody. And when I make
certain jokes, like like I made a joke the other
day with my fans because they they literally started the
joke and then I continue the joke and because of
the joke and I refuse to apologize for it, people

(48:21):
was just saying that I'm just such a mean person
that I was trying to bully people, that I'm hurt
for the people. But it's like I wasn't even trying
to hurt nobody. My intent wasn't to hurt nobody. It's
just like everybody naturally jokes with their friends, Everybody naturally
jokes with their peers. Everybody just might say not not
the most nicest jokes or stuff like that. However, like,

(48:44):
I'm not trying to hurt nobody. I don't want to
hurt nobody, and so many people criticize me because of
that or like judge my character because of that. But
it's like, I'm not this evil, mean person that people
think that I am. I'm very actually compassionate. I'm too
compassion That's why I cry for There's something that might
be going on on the other side of the world,

(49:05):
I'm crying for it. And it's like, why am I
crying for this? Like this is crazy. I'm very compassionate
and I'm very understanding, and I'm a libra, so I
see always two sides of the scale. I always have
sympathy just a little. I even have sympathy for bitches.
I have sympathy for bitches that my men and they

(49:25):
have taken a family loss. I'm like, damn, I feel
bad for her. That's how sympathetic I am.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
Why do you feel sympathy for them? Like where does
that come from? Or what do you feel?

Speaker 1 (49:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
It's just it's just how you made.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Just how i'm. That's just how I made and stuff
like That's just how I am. However, people just have
this thought of me. And that's because my mouth is
so rough, Like I'm a little rough and I curse
like a sailor. And I give advice very strong. But
everybody in my family give advice very strong. And I

(50:02):
don't have yes man's neither. So my friends will give
me advice in the most rudest way. And it's like, damn, bitch,
do you like me? But it's the truth, and that's
just how I am. That's how I'm going to talk
to you. And that's just how I am because it's
the truth.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
And you're like that with everyone. It doesn't change for anyone.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
And I'm like that with everyone.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
How about the kids, I'm like that.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
I'm like that when my kids too, Like, God, damn it,
I'm tired. But you can tell me I'm a bad mom.
I'm a great mom if I'm good at something as
being a mom, But sometimes like get the you little
get the God damn it, I'm sick of you. That's

(50:49):
how I talk. Does that make me a bad mom?
I don't think I'm a bad mom. Shit, I give
them too much.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
It's funny you say that. I was. I was talking
to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago,
and she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing.
She goes, you love them, but they're inconvenient, Like it's hard,
like if you're honest about it. And so, yeah, there's
a real feeling about how tough being a mom is.
How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom?

(51:21):
Like how do you make it? You said it yourself,
you want to be the best at everything. When you
do something, you want to be the best at it.
So I assume that applies to being a mom too. Yeah,
and so it's like, how do you do that? What
is it to you? What makes you a great mom?
What are the parts that you focus on? And how
do you balance those two crazy worlds?

Speaker 1 (51:38):
I think that what makes me. I think that what
makes me like a girl mom. I don't give my kids.
It's not that I give my kids everything, but they
just think I'm so funny. Like even when I curse
at them, they just think I'm so funny. It's like
I'm being serious with y'all. But they just love me.
I don't know why they I mean, of course I
know why they love you, but it's like why I

(51:59):
love you so much. I guess I have a good
mom because they love me so much. They just think
I'm so entertaining. They think I'm so fun. Even when
we're just laying in bed, they just want to lay
in bed with me. Ain't no target. We ain't gonna
know they got damn target. We ain't going to target
to ask you got them roadblocks. That's exactly how don't
come here asking me for the rocks. You asked me

(52:21):
one more time for an iPad for one of your cousins.
We're gonna have a problem. This is exactly how I
talk to my kids. And they still love me. They
just love me. I don't know, they love me for
who I am. They love me. I don't even know
how to explain it. I do. I do give them everything, though,
But now giving them everything doesn't always make you the

(52:41):
greatest mom, because it's like you've seen. You've seen cases
where like the parents work so hard, they give their
kids everything and it's not enough. Like them two brothers,
they call it, oh yeah, yeah, you could give them everything,
But if they don't love you, they just don't love you.
And I don't know, they just just love me. I
just always remind them that I love them, but I

(53:03):
will curse them out though.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
What's a quality or a skill that you have that
you really want them to learn and develop and grow
as they get older. I know they're young right now.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
But please don't be a bumb. Please don't be a bumb.
Please don't be lazy. Some people are some people have
the look, the intelligent, the talent. Some people really have that,
but they don't go nowhere because you're lazy. Don't be lazy.

(53:54):
Don't just be all your parents are this and that. No,
be your own person, be your own human, Be something,
be something, Be something that you could be proud of.
My mom she was not. She was a lunch lady practically.
But I am very proud of my mom because she
used to work her ass off. She could have went

(54:15):
to my grandma like, I'm going through a tough time
right now, can you raise my kids for a year
or two. She never did that. My grandmother's as well.
One of them got ten kids, the other one got
thirteen kids. They work every day. My grandma from my
dad's side, she gave birth on her kids in her

(54:37):
wooden house and then a couple of days later she
working back in the farm, and she brong all her
kids to America one by one different time, saying with
my grandma she had from my mom's side, she had
thirteen kids. She used to cook, cook, cook, cook self food,
sell food, self food. She brung all her thirteen kids
over here, Like there's no excuse, but I could say

(54:58):
that because they did that, And you're gonna be able
to say that about me, Like it's like my mom
worked every day. I seen my mom work every day.
Be that, be that one day. You're gonna have kids
one day, and you want your kids to say that
about you, that you worked hard every day, that everything
you got you deserved it, that you made it, nobody
gave it to you. You don't want to be like, oh,

(55:19):
you're just successful because you're a whole man. Like I
have son, I have a son. You don't want nobody
said that you fly and you fire because you're somebody's son. No,
I'm fly because I'm my own man. I made myself
a man. I work my ass off. You're gonna have
a bitch one day. You don't want your bitch to

(55:41):
be like, oh, he a mama boy, he a daddy's No,
I'm a hard working man. Baby girl, you go on
saying with my daughters, you know, nigger gonna roll you
over because you got your own shit. You're more than
just a pretty face. Be a boss, Be something. Please,
I don't give a fuck what they do whatever, Just

(56:02):
just do not have that lazy bone on you, Like,
ain't no way that I'm busting my ass for you, mother,
this just so you could end up not being ship.
I'm giving y'all everything every even when, even when they're
eighteen and stuff like that, and it's time to leave.
If you want an apartment, if you want to if
you want a car, I'll give it to you. But please,

(56:26):
please become something. Don't be nothing. Please don't be nothing.
That would be the worst disappointment they could ever do.
Don't disappoint me like that. What if y'all do, just
don't be a nothing.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
If you give it to them the journey you think
they'll be lazy then because if you give them an
apartment and you give them a car, then they'll feel like, well,
I don't need to work because Mom's got me.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
No, because it's like like, all right, for example, I
want to call I went to college, right, but I
had to drop by the college because I had to
work to just feed myself. If you got a crib
and if you could maneuver to college, or you probably
want to open up a business or something. If you
can maneuver, you don't got to worry about a bill,

(57:12):
then it becomes easier for you. But don't get don't
make me give you an apartment or a fucking car,
and you're just out here not doing shit. I better
every sooner time my face SOMEI you better be doing something.
If you were in bed at twelve pm. Yeah, ain't
that car under my name? Or it's coming with me?

(57:33):
You need you need the real world.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
You need you.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
I'm gonna have to and don't go to your daddy.
Let me go to your daddy. I will take the
ship away. I don't play that. You ain't gonna be nothing.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
Yeah, you're caring with yourself.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
You got two feet, you got two hands, you got
a brain. You better do some ship.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah, for sure. I found. I found like I started
working when I was fourteen. I used to deliver newspaper
at the time, and then I started working in a
grocery store. I used to work at the back and
stack the shelves, pick up all the palettes, bring all
the goods in work back of house. And then I
worked and sold jeans at some jeans shop. It's like
I found working since I was fourteen is what made

(58:16):
me realize the value of work. And I've been working
hard ever since. And it's if I didn't start working
hard at fourteen, I feel like my parents didn't have
anything to give me either. Yeah, but I feel like
that work ethic has to start early.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
It do have to start early. And that's why it's
like like sometimes when my parents, here comes my parents.
Sometimes my parents, they were getting my nerve sometimes, like
they be getting my nerve sometimes because like my kids,
they have school to three pm right and after school,
I don't care and I don't want you at home
talking about like I'm a little tough and shit, I
don't give this is what I'll work hard for. After school,

(58:51):
my kids four times a week they have tutoring, reading
man whatever, they have tutoring mandatory in my house. Then
culture have piano or she got gym class, wave, he
got sports class, and he still gotta do the tutoring.
And I don't sleepy, I don't I don't want to
hear that shit. I don't want to hear that shit.

(59:13):
It's disciplined. It gotta be in you, and you have
to be better than me. I want you to be
better than me. There's things that I cannot do them
I want my kids to do. I don't know how
to swim. I would love to swim, but the one
time I went to a pool in Highbridge, there was
a crazy fight that broke out. People was getting cut

(59:36):
left to right. So I couldn't go swimming because I
had no pool. If I have a pool, you're gonna
learn how to swim. You're gonna take your swimming classes.
I'm not really good with my feet, so you're gonna
take dance classes because if you want to, if you
ever want to be a superstar, that you're gonna be
in you. Then you are an answer. I want you
to be smarter than me, like I could read down,

(01:00:00):
but my grandma's not that great. I want you to
be not perfect because you cannot make your kids perfect,
and you don't want you to put pressure on your
kids perfect. But I want you to be a hundred
times better version than me. And I'm gonna install that
in you, and you're gonna be mad and you're gonna
be crying, but you're gonna appreciate that one day because
I wish. I wish the things that that out put

(01:00:23):
on my kids. That there's somebody put in me when
I was younger. But they couldn't put that in me
when I was younger because they couldn't afford it, and
they couldn't really have time to be like Buckley's Buckley's
Blockles Henessey Hennessey Hennessy because they had to work. I
have to work, but the class for it. Grab me something, boy,
grab me something girl. I'm playing with y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
I love it. I love it. Your success is so
much of who you are and who you breathe. It's
what you do what makes CARDI be happy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
It's like little little elements like my kids make me
very happy. They're just so cute and funny, like it's
just and they say stupid stuff like it's like they
say the things that is like, girl, what it's funny
And it's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a

(01:01:17):
little character. And I'm like, when my baby she'd be
hitting her brother and her sister, it'd be so fun
of me because it's like a baby and she's there
and they're just there taking it. So to me, the
little things like that is funny and makes me happy. Romance,
you know what I'm saying. When I'm in love and
when we're having a go you know, we're having a

(01:01:38):
go week. When you're showing that you care, that makes
me happy. You know. Actually, when I just saw a
piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you when
she said I might have a fourteen hour day and
just one phone call and when somebody's there for you,

(01:02:00):
it's a good feeling. That's a good feeling as well.
What else is a good feeling for me? When I'm
with my cousins, When I'm with my family and we
were just cracking jokes and it just feels it feels
like it feels like childhood. It makes me happy. Music
makes me very happy. I love music. Where me and

(01:02:22):
my team we plan something, we put in so much
work and it goes good. That makes me happy. That
makes me happy, the team happy, and it motivates me
and then motivates my team and it's just like we
did it. So stuff like that, stuff like that makes
me happy. Seeing all the work that you do and

(01:02:45):
the time that you put, the process, the progress that
you put, and it's like it hits, it's successful. That
makes me really happy, Like it's like, oh, thank God,
thank you Jesus. It makes you want to keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Just say that's a good list.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Yeah, that's a good list.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
I like it so connection. It's all real. It's human,
it's love, it's family, it's friends, it's intimacy, it's it's
it's all the it's all. It is all the most
beautiful things that we're all looking for. How do you
see love now? Like, how do you define love?

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Effort? It's not going to always be perfect. Effort is
like a lot to me. It means a lot to me,
like calling me, studying me personality as well. I love
me a joke, I love me a you know what
I'm saying, Like if you, if I if I come
to you and I'm in tears, when was the last

(01:03:36):
week I saw I saw my low boyfriend. I saw
my boyfriend and I was in tears. I was like,
it's so much pressure on me, Like, it's so much
pressure on me, and just one little joke like my tears.
I kind of forgot the joke, but it was so
funny and like it's not coming out of my nose

(01:03:57):
and it's like men laught. It just made me feel good,
and it's it's like, you know what things are going.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
To be, Okay, someone you can, someone you can, someone
who can make you laugh, cry, and someone who can
be there for you when you're crying. Real heart tis Yeah.
I like that, and I I like what you said
study you. Yeah that was really interesting. Now I've never
heard that before, but I like it. The idea that
if someone loves you, they study you. What is what
does that mean to you? Tell me about that. I

(01:04:21):
like that one a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Certain things are just the obvious, you know what I'm saying.
Like certain things is like are you really studying me?
Or is just the obvious? Like for example, if you
get me a purse, if you get me a Berken
or a Kelly, right, it makes me happy, of course,
like who don't which which women don't bag make them happy?
But you know that that's what I like. So it's

(01:04:44):
not like you study it, it's that you see it
on my page. But like when you do things that
you don't normally do, but you're doing it because you
heard me talk about this like like when you run
a castle and I know you don't want to be
in this old dass castle that you literally gotta go
up and down the stairs just so you could pee,

(01:05:05):
and it's hot and there's no air conditioner. When you
rent a castle out just so you could just because
you you keep saying like I can't wait, I can't
wait to have a day off in Paris so I
could go to Versailles. I'm obsessed with castles. I'm obsessed
with kings. I'm obsessed with queens. And it's like you
listen to that and you like, do your restu make

(01:05:28):
it happen. It's like it's like little things like that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Clues.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
It's not even like leaving clothes. It's just like me.
It's me talking. It's like it means stuff to me
and stuff like that when you get to know my
personality too and get to study me, okay, because I'm
I think I'm a hard person to figure out. Some

(01:05:55):
people just see me and think certain things until you
really get to figure me out and crack me so
I might give you what I want to give you.
You haven't cracked me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Yet, Will anyone ever crack you? Is it possible.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
Yeah, little by little, I open up and I show
more of myself, my real self.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Yeah, it's been it's been seven years since you released
new music, and you've talked to me about releasing it.
The hard work that went into it, the journey that
got you there, Why you waited? What finally made you
feel confident that you had the right piece of work?
What did you put into it? How did you know
that now was the right time and the work was ready?

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
Because it feels good, it feels good, Like it's like this,
I feel like people are missing this. It feels good.
I feel good. I feel confident about it. I feel
very confident about it, to be honest with you, So
that that's why. That's why I'm like, it's time.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Yeah, where where did the name? Am? I? The drama?
What inspired that? What's what's the subtext? What's the hidden
meanings behind it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
I don't want to keep saying when I was a
little girl, but it's funny, Like it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Say it, I love it. I love knowing that you
manifested this. It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
No, because it's like, ever since I was a little girl,
I always get in trouble and it don't really be me.
Like it's like if we having a sleepover, me and
my cousins, I would be the one that the aunt
is pulling their ears because it's like, yeah, I know
this was your idea, but even was, it wasn't even

(01:07:39):
my idea. Sometimes when I used to go to school
and I used to fight, my mom used to be like,
then I tell you to avoid the fight, and it's like, Mom,
I swear to God, it is not me. It's these girls.
They keep trying me. That's why I keep getting into fights.
And when I was in school too, like it's like
when I do get in trouble just because I'm being

(01:07:59):
mischie it's just like like my friend's mom used to
be like, it's because of her, it's because of it's
because of Beccles. I know it's her, and it's like
it don't really be me. It really don't be me.
And that's just how it is for my life. Like
it's like, Yo, I'm always in a scandal, I'm always
in some bullshit. I'm always in some beef, and it's

(01:08:20):
like no matter how much I avoid it, it comes
to me. Am I the fucking drama isn't me. Jesus
isn't me, no matter how much I avoid it, no
matter how much I think I'm in a bubble, And
it's like, Nope, that bubble is always gonna pop. Something's

(01:08:41):
always gonna find you.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
But that's why I like am I the drama? Why
am I always in some ship? Whether it's good or bad?
Why am I always in some ship?

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
What's the answer?

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Am I? That's the that's the answer is to the
question am I? Am I? Only one person can answer that,
and that's Jesus, Because God, Why I'm always in some ship?
When is the boat gonna start smooth sailing? Why are

(01:09:19):
we always in the ocean in the middle of the
ocean and the roughest we in the We're in the
Pacific Ocean all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
I love that. It's a great question. It's a great question,
lends up for a great album. It's it's it's such
a great name. It's such a great such a great energy.
Even just hearing you talk about it is such a
great vibe. What's the I mean, how does it feel
when that drama gets televised and then it's all over TikTok?
How does that feel?

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
Yep? Sometimes it's girl. Sometimes it's bad.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
You always show up looking fabulous, But I'm like, how
does that feel when, like, you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Know, well, I try to come and here having eyes
like you, but one of one of the contacts wasn't cooperating,
so I'm like, I'm not taking this other contact off.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
So that's why we have.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
The and that's why we got three blue eyes and
on set.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
I love it. I love it. I love it. So
how does it feel when when your drama is televised, Like,
when that is televised, how does that feel?

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
It just feels Sometimes it feels okay because there's gonna
be people that's gonna cheer for you. And sometimes it's
gonna be very overwhelming, like and very stressful, very annoying.
And then it's like, unlike other celebrities, you know, a
lot of people be wanting me to be like certain

(01:10:39):
celebrities and stuff like that, Like they just want me
to be like the type of person that just don't respond,
they don't tell my feelings. And they were thinking that
some of these celebrities like the perfect which there are amazing,
but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through.

(01:11:01):
Don't think they don't feel like what the pressure they
that I go through. Don't think they're not saying, yeah,
I hate you mother, because what you think you are
to tell me that I'm this? This who if you
take you this? And I'm just the person that tells it.
So it's a blessing and occurs because sometimes I feel

(01:11:25):
like I speak for them. And that's why when a
lot of celebrities see me, they be like, yo, You'll
be saying what I want to say. But then sometimes
like a curse because sometimes people be like it's like, oh,
you're the only one that do that. You're the only
one to do that. And it's like, well, I'll be
the one that do that. I can't do it all
the time though, because then people gonna think I'm just crazy,

(01:11:45):
but I'll be the one to do that. Y'all need
to leave sing people alone. Y'all think because that celebrity,
we make a little money and we make a little
this like it's that bitch. I feel it's too hope,
I ain't no chop liver h So maybe that's what
I sometimes like the punching bags and sometimes people be like,

(01:12:06):
you need to stop doing that. You need to stop
being this, you need you need to be more like them,
and it's like they feel the same way I feel too.
They want to tell these people, yea, you are your
mom here, your dad and your whole bloodline. You're talking
on me. You trust me. They want to say that.

(01:12:27):
They want to say that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:28):
I think everyone does.

Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
But I'll be the one to say it. But that's
because sometimes it do feel good to say it. Thank you,
bitch you. I'll be the one now all the time,
but I'll be the one.

Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
Yeah. Yeah, I could see that from all the clips
that I've seen, Like you're always yourself, Like you're never
not yourself wherever you are, the climb, the looks, the fashion,
the wigs, the everything that comes out of your mouth.
It's like you're never uh, you're never filtering yourself no
matter the environment. You're trust ah you do.

Speaker 1 (01:13:08):
Sometimes I feel like the who the am? I? Who
have I become? Because I used to have no filter?
Now it's just like I'll be like all.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
But still, though, where do you feelter yourself? If you
ever do? Where do you feel to yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
This mouth? I could be a piranha?

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
What are we today at? Shock? No? Today's no today?
I will goldfish Okay today fish.

Speaker 1 (01:13:41):
I said nothing bad today. Today'd be really nice today.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
You have been wonderful.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
But it's like sometimes I'll be seeing people and I'll
be like, I could get really nasty. This all facts.
I could get really nasty.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
You hold back sometimes I hold back.

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
So much, hold I hold back so much, so much science.
I really you know what I really did change the life.
I don't know what changed me. Maybe maybe the age,
maybe the kids, maybe life.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
You softened up a bit.

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
I always been soft, but I could. I could really
give it to you and I watched up, but I
stopped this work?

Speaker 2 (01:14:24):
Is it? The age is the kids? Which one is?
All of them?

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
All of their birth is a combination? Age? Really wise
in you? Why isn't you? And make you afraid?

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
Yeah, got more to lose that. I think that plays
a big part. When you're young and you're dreaming and
you want all these things, no one ever tells you
the cost that it comes at, Yeah, and how much
it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges
into your life. Yeah. Yeah, You've talked about how money

(01:14:59):
doesn't fix every thing and success doesn't solve everything, and
it almost feels like when you don't have those things
you think it will, yeah, and then when you get it,
you realize, oh wait, there's all this other stuff that
we haven't figured out yet. What is something that you're

(01:15:30):
still trying to figure out learn solve in your own life?
What's the part of your life you're like working on,
dreaming and visioning, imagining to be better and different?

Speaker 1 (01:15:42):
I mean life in general, all of it, all of it.
To be honest with you, life just doesn't get I
wonder when life is going to do start getting easier
because life is just hard no matter if you have
money or not. You got problems when you're poor, you
got problems when you're rich. He's always just trying to

(01:16:03):
figure every single day. I feel like people is just
trying to figure it out, trying to figure themselves out,
trying to figure life out. And it just will never stop.
It will never stop. I think one would do will
stop when you're sixty. But even when you're sixty, you're
gonna start having other problems, like back problems, and it's
like another thing, another problem do you got to figure out?

(01:16:24):
You know what I'm saying, Like, it's like it's just
will never stop.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
The older you get, the more people you lose more
kids who have the more things you have to worry about,
the more money you have, the more you have to
learn about managing. You have a partner or you don't
have a partner. You got to figure out how you
if you want to how you want to deal with
being alone when you have a partner. It's like how
you got to figure out how to be the peace

(01:16:49):
and everything? And I really don't want people thinking neither
that is like just because you have money, like it's
that you live the easy life. Everybody that they have money,
that are successful, that are good at what they do.
If you notice a pattern, they work their asses off.
Thing that Beyonce gotta can vote and imagine and this

(01:17:11):
and that because she's just Beyonce. No, she worked her
ass off. She's one of the most hardest people ever.
Why people cannot get to her level? White people cannot
this and that because they just she just have an
insane work ethic, insane time. And my partner he works
up every day at five thirty six am and leave

(01:17:32):
work at seven pm. And then you got people that
hate on him and it's like, well, why he's so
good because he works hard? Why am i here after
seven years because I'm every day, every day, working every day.
What we're doing next? Hello, what y'all doing? Wake up?
I got a sad and plan. I just I just

(01:17:53):
thought of something. I just had a dream of something.
We gotta make it happen. And working hard. You could
stay working hard. And it sounds like working hard, but
it's like it's hours and hours and hours. It's time
in his body's brain. I'm exhausted. I'm really exhausted right now.
Back hurt, but her, I'm sleepy as ship. I got
a headache on the right side of my head when

(01:18:15):
I'm working. After this, I got to do a promo
shoot and then I go into the studio and then tomorrow.
I gotta do something else every single day, every single day,
every single day. If you want it, you gotta do it.
No complain, no crying.

Speaker 2 (01:18:28):
Ship. In this conversation, you've talked about Jesus, you talked
about the devil. Do you talk to God in law?
Do you pray every day every day?

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
I feel like I have a very deep spiritual connection
with God. And it's not even like about praying, it's
like talking. Like even when I talk to God, I
talk to him, just like I'm talking to you, I'll
be cursing, crying because people be like, oh, cursing is bad.
But it's like God knows, God knows, God knows who

(01:18:59):
I am. God knows, God knows how I be. Like.
It's like it's almost like I'm talking to a friend,
and I really do believe in my weird mind, in
my weird universe that I made, like I have, I
have angels. I really do believe that God gave me
angels and I believe in them. I feel like God

(01:19:20):
is here, and I feel like you got your angels here,
then you got your other religions here. I believe in
God so much it's not even funny. And you know
some people might not believe in God. But it's like,
don't try. Like it's like, I'm not gonna convince nobody
to believe in what I believe in. But if it,

(01:19:41):
how you expect me not to believe on the person
that I've been praying to my whole life and gave
me what I wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
That little girl was talking to God in that dream.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
Always all the time. It's like the imaginary friend, the
voice in your head. Do you think it's your friend,
do you think it's your your your voice, that that's
just was That was just you talking to God the
whole time. That was just you talking to God the
whole time. I love him. I believe in him. I
always tell this to somebody like it's like the most,

(01:20:12):
the most, the most I could give you, the most
powerful thing that could give you is me praying on you.
If I pray on you for you, it's because I
love you. It's the most powerfulest thing. And I do
feel like when you pray together, miracles happen. I love him.
I love you so much. Why do you love me

(01:20:33):
so much? Why do you love you already? I'm like
one of your favorite kids. Tell them Jesus Lord, tell
these people I'm one of your favorites, a lot of them.

Speaker 2 (01:20:47):
That's beautiful, Cardy. You've been so so generous with your time,
your energy, your heart. I really felt, you know, this
surpassed every one of my expectations that I had of
meeting you and getting to interview. I knew, I knew
there was so much spirit. I knew there was some soul.
I knew there was there was just this energy inside
that that I'm really grateful you let share today and

(01:21:11):
people get to know you a bit more deeply. We
we end every episode with the final five. These questions
have to be answered in one word, one sentence maximum.
So CARDI B. These are your final five.

Speaker 1 (01:21:23):
You know I talk a lot. You can you can
answer one word.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
I'm giving you permission you can, all right? So question
number one we asked these every guest who's been on
the show, what is the best advice you've ever heard
or received?

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
Well, I'm going to go with one advice that I
heard today. No, I didn't heard it today, I heard
it yesterday. I asked the difficult questions. The difficult questions
make the relationship stronger. It could break it, it could
make it, but you still have an understanding. If you

(01:22:00):
become that understanding, then yeah, it might become stronger.

Speaker 2 (01:22:04):
You said it better. You said it better. Whoever said it?
You said it better? Question number two, what is the
worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Speaker 1 (01:22:15):
I think you've heard a lot sometimes when somebody told
me to wear a certain outfit, or when somebody told
me to drop a certain songs. You never know. Go
from here to that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
Question number three. Finish the sentence. One thing I'll never
apologize for.

Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
Is may not vain and nain and mate. My mouth. Well,
sometimes I'm apologizing for my mouth. Sometimes I might maybe
I'm a little to war. I don't know. I'll apologize
for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:22:47):
Question number four, what's something that you used to value
that you don't value anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:22:55):
I happen to have, like the streets, I valuate a
lot and I don't. I valuate because it made me
and it gave me a certain mentality. But I wouldn't
want to advise, advise dad too, people that I love,
people that I care, or to young kids, two young boys,

(01:23:15):
to young girls, because it don't always lead you to
where you think it's going to lead you. It's very grimy.
Don't love you back ever.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
And fifth and final question we asked just every guest
has been on the show, if you could create one
law that ever in the world had to follow, what
would it be if I was law?

Speaker 1 (01:23:39):
I'm not sure. I got to come back to that.
Matter of fact. If you hurt children, you gotta get
what's that thing when they clip you, cash you size,
whatever it is called, you just got to be clipped.
And if you're a woman, they need to burn it
if you hurt kids.

Speaker 2 (01:23:59):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:23:59):
Yeah, that should be a mandatory thing all over the world. Wow,
because kids are so precious. They're so precious, they so innocent.
Well some of them, some of them are kind of evil.
They're wont with the devils, you see, Doug Mry. Some
of them was like, who was born to the who
was born to your dob Jesus, Jesus upon.

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
Your chair CARDI b everyone. The album is called am
I the Drama. I'm so excited for everyone to hear it.
Love your energy, love your spirits. So grateful to spend
this time together and all the best. God bless and
I hope that you continue to succeed and win at
life and keep being the energy and forced that you are.

(01:24:41):
So thank you, so much, thank you, thank you. If
you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with
Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to
speak to yourself with more compassion.

Speaker 1 (01:24:54):
My fears are only going to continue to show me
what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
and I just want to keep doing that,

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Host

Jay Shetty

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power