May 23, 2025 • 28 mins
What’s been on your mind today?
Do you ever catch yourself spiraling with negative thoughts?
Today, Jay dives into the everyday negative thoughts we all wrestle with—and how we can stop letting them control us. Whether it's replaying awkward moments, spiraling into self-doubt, or feeling stuck in patterns of fear and criticism, negativity can quietly undermine our confidence and cloud our perspective. But what if those thoughts were just noise—and you didn’t have to carry them anymore?
In this episode, Jay shares seven transformative steps to help you build a healthier, more resilient relationship with your mind. Rooted in both spiritual insight and modern science, Jay walks you through powerful shifts—like recognizing your thoughts without letting them define you, challenging your inner critic with evidence, and reframing your day-to-day experiences with intention. With the clarity of a teacher and the care of a friend, Jay helps you see that awareness is not just the first step—it’s your greatest protection.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Believing Every Negative Thought
How to Challenge Thoughts That Aren’t True
How to Use Mindfulness to Calm Mental Overload
How to Build a Mental Shield Against Criticism and Stress
We can’t always stop negative thoughts from showing up, but we can learn to move through them with clarity, self-kindness, and strength—one thought at a time.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there!
What We Discussed:
00:00 Intro
01:06 How Do You Deal With Negative Thoughts?
02:20 #1: Recognize and Acknowledge Your Thoughts
07:30 #2: Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
11:22 #3: Start Reframing Your Thoughts
15:52 #4: Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
18:14 #5: Engage in Joyful Activities
20:12 #6: Look After Your Body
21:28 #7: Limit Your Exposure to Negativity
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, It's Jay Shaddy and I'm thrilled to announce
my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
experience on Purpose in person. Join me in a city
near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
(00:25):
spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences
for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a
meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now.
Head to Jsheddy, dop me Forward Slash Tour and get
yours today. Your thoughts are not always true, Challenge them.
(00:49):
Your thoughts are not always reality. Don't accept them at
face value. When doubts appear, don't assume. Investigate when fear whispers,
don't bow down. Look closer. When negativity rises, don't believe
(01:10):
demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance. Negativity grows when
you don't fight back. The number one health and wellness podcast,
Jay Sety, Jay sheety Lyty. Hey everyone, Welcome back to
On Purpose I'm so glad you joined me, And if
(01:34):
you've not yet subscribed, click that button so that you
never miss an episode. It's astounding to me the community
that we're building together. And when you subscribe here, you're
not only supporting this show, you're actually starting to support yourself.
You're saying, this is a priority, this is important to me.
I want to invest in my growth. Today's episode is
(01:58):
all about what to do with those negative thoughts. If
you're someone that experiences intrusive, negative, difficult thoughts, this episode
is for you. If you're someone who walks out at
a meeting and can't stop thinking about something negative that happened,
or you were out with friends last week and you
(02:19):
can't stop thinking about a moment or an experience that
felt awkward or uncomfortable, this episode is for you. And
if you're someone that finds yourself just caught in a
negative spiral, this episode is for you. I'm going to
give you a seven step method to actually master your
(02:40):
thoughts and negativity. I want you to become unbeatable, undefeatable
when it comes to negative thoughts. Because here's the reality.
Negative thoughts will always arise, they'll always appear no one
in this world can never have a negative thought. But
(03:00):
you can make sure that a negative thought never controls you.
You can win the battle and win the fight, and
that's what we're doing today. Step one is you have
to learn to recognize and acknowledge your thoughts. All of
us have so many thoughts every single day, but we're
not always sure about the systems. We're not always sure
(03:24):
about the patterns. And I want to share a spiritual
truth with you that is so important. You are not
your thoughts. They're just visitors passing through your mind. You
are not your thoughts. They're just noise, not the truth.
(03:45):
You are not your thoughts. They're temporary, not permanent. Notice them,
but don't let them define you. Name them, but don't
give them your power. Watch them, but don't give them
your identity. The moment you recognize them, they lose their grip.
(04:06):
The moment you name them, they start to dissolve. The
moment you see them clearly, you set yourself free. Negative
thoughts are not facts. Awareness is your power. Negative thoughts
are not your reality. Awareness is your protection. Negative thoughts
(04:28):
are not who you are. Awareness is your path to
emotional freedom. It starts with being aware of our thoughts,
aware of which ones appear often, which ones don't appear enough,
Aware of what we say when we first look in
the mirror, Aware of what we say when things are
(04:51):
not going well. How many of you are the quickest
to judge yourself and critique yourself, but the first to
congratulate someone else? Are you that person who when you
make a mistake, you'll be really harsh and beat yourself up,
but when someone else does, you're there to be empathetic
and kind and compassionate. We're so quick to judge ourselves
(05:14):
and so quick to celebrate others. It's so important we
become aware of these patterns that we all experience so
that we can begin this breakthrough. So I wanted to
keep repeating that, and I want you to say it
out loud. I am not my thoughts. You are not
your thoughts. They're just temporary clouds floating across the sky
(05:36):
of your mind. And neuroscience proves it simply labeling emotions.
Naming them activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the amygdala,
reducing emotional overwhelm. Think of negative thoughts like popa, bads, annoying, distracting,
(05:57):
but not permanent or meaningful. You can just hover over
them and press the cross and they're gone. The problem
isn't that they appear, it's that we believe them. Now,
imagine you're on your desktop or your laptop and all
these screens of pop ups just start turning up. You
only get lost in them when you start filling out
(06:19):
the form, when you get tricked into clicking on one.
We don't want to double click on a negative thought.
We want to allow it to pass through, like a
pop up or a cloud. There's a beautiful zen story
which talks about two monks watching the sky. Dark clouds
rolled in, and one monk cried, it's a bad omen.
(06:44):
The other simply said, clouds come and go. The clouds
didn't change, only their reaction did. Your thoughts are clouds?
Notice them, Name them, but don't become them. Here's an
experiment I want you to try, a habit, a practical
tip that I want you to give a go today.
(07:06):
When you notice a negative thought, pause and internally say
I'm having a negative thought about Just naming it can
weaken its hold. Stop saying you're a negative person, Stop
saying that you have negative energy. Switch that to I
(07:29):
am having a negative thought about naming it can weaken
its hold. Naming it can loosen its grip, and naming
it gives you back the power because you're now aware.
Here's a habit. I want you to set three thought
(07:49):
alert reminders morning, midday, evening, and when it goes off,
pause for thirty seconds to scan your mind and jot
down any negative patterns that you see. When you start
to understand the patterns, you have the power. Remember that
when you understand the patterns, you have the power because
(08:11):
now when that pattern emerges, you can do step two.
Step two is challenge your negative thoughts now that you
know that there's a pattern. Let's say you always feel
negative when you first wake up in the morning. Let's
say you always feel negative just before going to bed.
Maybe you feel negative just before you walk through the
(08:33):
door of the office. Right we have certain times in
our day when negativity is really loud. Now that we're
aware of them, we have to learn to challenge them.
Not in the moment, because that time we need to
focus on work, focus on sleep, focus on waking up.
We need to challenge them when we become aware of
(08:53):
the pattern in our spare time. Right now, that's what
you're doing. I want you to remember this. Your thoughts
are not always accurate. Question them. Your thoughts are not
always true, Challenge them. Your thoughts are not always reality.
(09:14):
Don't accept them at face value. When doubts appear, don't assume.
Investigate When fear whispers, don't bow down. Look closer. When
negativity rises, don't believe demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance.
(09:37):
Negativity grows when you don't fight back. Negativity wins when
you don't question it. Dig deeper. Beneath fear you'll find clarity.
Beneath doubt, you'll find truth. Beneath noise, you'll find your power.
(09:57):
One thought challenged is one chain broken. One thought challenged
is one burden lifted. One thought challenged is one step
toward freedom. Not every thought you have is true. In fact,
negativity loves to wear the mask of reality. Cognitive behavioral therapy,
(10:21):
or CBT, has long shown that challenging irrational thoughts reduces
anxiety and builds emotional strengths. Ask yourself, is this thought
a fact or just a fear? It's really important to know.
Is this thought a fact or is it just a fear?
(10:43):
So the next time you catch yourself spiraling, ask yourself,
what evidence do I have that this thought is true?
What evidence do I have that, in fact, this thought
is not true. You're almost becoming a lawyer in your
own life, learning how to negotiate, learning how to persuade,
(11:05):
learning how to build and stand up for an argument, because,
guess what, the lawyer in your mind that critique is
winning every case. But that's because we don't know how
to challenge our thought. If you think that lawyer in
your head is on your side, you lose every case,
you lose every battle. But when you realize that you're
(11:25):
not your thoughts, you're allowed to have a defense, You're
allowed to have a case. That's when you recognize that
you don't need to accept a thought that has no evidence,
and what you want to do is present the counter
evidence to your mind systematically. Here's a daily habit to
make it easy. Create a daily thought challenge. Each evening,
(11:50):
write one negative thought from your day, challenge it with evidence,
and rewrite it into a more balanced, empowering statement. If
you go to bed that way, you'll wake up with
more energy and naturally feel disconnected from the weight of
that thought. I couldn't be more excited to share something
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(12:13):
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(12:37):
Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances
that act like superheroes for your body to help you
adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life.
Our superfive blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, Ushwa, Ganda,
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(12:57):
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body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So
(13:18):
visit Drinkjuni dot com today to elevate your wellness journey
and use code on purpose to receive fifteen percent off
your first order. That's drink Juni dot com and make
sure you use the code on purpose. Step number three
is reframe your thoughts. My favorite quote is from Wayne Dyer.
(13:43):
He said, when we change the way we look at things,
the things we look at change. Your thoughts are a story.
But here's the best part. You can write the next
line right now. Actually, you get to choose the title
of the next chat right now. You get to write
the next few pages right now. When you change the story,
(14:08):
you change the feeling. When you change the perspective, you
change the power. When you change the lens, you change
your life. Negative stories exhaust you. Positive reframing energizes you.
Negative thinking shrinks you. Positive reframing frees you. Small changes
(14:33):
in your viewpoint can lead to big changes in your vision.
Let me give you an example. You're running late to
work because someone cut you off in traffic. You get
to work, and now you're telling everyone that story of
that person who cut you off in traffic. What you
forgot to mention was the person who smiled at you.
What you forgot to mention was the fact that you
still got to work on time. What you forgot to
(14:54):
mention is that you survived. Nothing bad happened. The other
side of the story was makes you feel rushed, makes
you feel overwhelmed, makes you feel stressed. Just reframing, it's
not that it didn't happen, it's that you're still here right.
Positivity doesn't mean I ignore things that happened. It means
(15:17):
I see everything about what happened, the fact that I'm alive,
the fact that I'm here, the fact that I'm on time,
the fact that I'm smiling at someone someone smiling at me,
that simple connection. How you frame an experience changes everything
about how you feel it. Let me say that again.
How you frame an experience changes everything about how you
(15:41):
feel it. If you frame and experience as negative, you
feel bad. If you frame an experience as useful, insightful, powerful, fulfilling,
it transforms you. Research shows that reframing negative experiences in
prove resilience and overall wellbeing. It's not denial, its conscious
(16:06):
perspective shifting. Two people can face the same storm one
sees destruction, the other sees renewal. I really love this
idea that two people can experience the same thing but
react to it differently. It is up to you to
(16:26):
choose to reframe a narrative, reframe and experience, and it's
all about practice. The first time you try and do
this is going to be really hard. By day five,
it's going to be easier. By month five, you're going
to be flying and flowing. You will be unbeatable. A
negative experience or a negative thought won't be able to
control you because you've practiced reframing an experience. That person
(16:51):
who you feel doesn't care about you, they just lost
a great friend. That person you feel doesn't that tell
you they just disconnected from a gift in their life.
We have to reframe and understand differently the experiences we
go through. Here's an experiment today, when a small inconvenience happens,
(17:15):
pause and reframe. How could this actually be working for me?
And here's a daily habit. Start a reframing jar. Each night,
write down one negative event and intentionally reframe it in
a neutral or positive light before placing it in the jar.
(17:36):
What's your mindset shift over weeks, you'll literally feel yourself
rewiring your brain to notice different things. Our day feels
bad because we notice the bad more than the good.
Our day feels hard because we notice the difficult more
than our determination. Our day feels long because we notice
(17:58):
the hardship more more than we do the beautiful relationships.
Shift your perspective. Step four is practicing mindfulness and meditation.
Take a moment to pause and breathe deeply right now.
Mindfulness means simply noticing your present experience, let thoughts pass
(18:21):
without holding onto them. Pay attention to your breath. It's
your anchor. Meditation doesn't require perfection, just consistency. Practice letting
go of anything you're holding onto. Quieting your mind, even
briefly can reset your entire day. It's the oldest wisdom
(18:43):
in the book. But taking a few breaths can reset
you when you're nervous, when you're anxious, when you're stressed,
when you have negative thoughts. Your breath is faster, shallower.
As soon as you breathe, you make it deeper slower,
and you regain your power when you're moving fast. Think
about it. If you're driving a car really fast and
(19:05):
something comes out in front of you. It's really hard
to maneuver around it. Right, So when a negative thought
comes at you, if you're already moving really fast, chances
are you're going to collide. And that's what we experience
every day, collisions with our negative thoughts. But imagine if
you are driving a little bit slower, you could slow
(19:25):
down just ahead of that disruption and swerve comfortably, coolly, calmly.
That's what regular mindfulness practice allows you to do. Mindfulness
is about being where you are, not racing ahead, not
clinging to the past. Research from cabots In shows that
(19:47):
even short, consistent mindfulness practices can reduce anxiety and depression significantly.
Mindfulness is like clearing a cluttered desk. You create space
for clarity. So here's the experiment I want you to do.
Set a five minute timer today, Focus only on your
(20:07):
breathing when thoughts wonder gently, return attention to your breath
without judgment, And for every one hour, stop and breathe
deeply for one minute and watch how you start getting
the pace to actually maneuver and shift. Number five is
(20:29):
something we don't do enough of engaging in joyful activities,
you can't always avoid difficult emotions, but you can decide
how long they stay. You can't choose every result, but
you can choose what you learn from it. You can't
always avoid setbacks, but you can decide how they shape you.
(20:53):
You can't choose others' perceptions, but you can choose your
own self worth. You can't erase past experiences, but you
can choose how they influence your future. You can't control
the world's chaos, but you can choose to create your
own peace. Studies show that regular engagement in enjoyable activities
(21:18):
lowers depression significantly. Doing what you love is an indulgence.
It's essential maintenance for your mental health. So here's what
I want you to do today. Spend at least fifteen
minutes doing something you genuinely love, having your coffee, reading, gardening, dancing, painting,
(21:40):
whatever it is, and notice your mood before and after.
Schedule a daily joy episode. Block out twenty minutes each
morning or evening just for an activity that nourishes you right.
Think of it like a joy meeting or a joy episode.
(22:00):
Being able to do that allows you to tap into
joy and reduce stress. This is such an important part
because ultimately negativity and positivity are both contagious. Have you
ever met someone and you just feel positive. Have you
ever done an activity and you just feel positive, Well,
you can be that person. That person wasn't born that way.
(22:21):
They're practicing, they're developing that skill, and you can as well.
Step number six is looking after your temple your body.
Your body isn't separate from your mind. It's the vehicle
that carries your spirit. Regular exercise reduces depressive symptoms by
(22:42):
up to thirty percent. Hydration boost brain function, sleep resets
your emotional baseline. It's simple, but it's foundational. A Zen
student once asked his master, how do I attain enlightenment?
The master applied when hungry, eat, when tired, sleep, when sad, move.
(23:10):
Caring for the body wasn't secondary, it was sacred. I
also love this idea because when we're out of food,
we eat. When you're out of growth, you choose to grow.
So today's experiment is go for a twenty minute walk
today for a gentle stretch, and pay attention to how
(23:32):
your mind feels afterwards. If you want to boost your day,
it's as simple as this. Seven hours of sleep, eight
glasses of water, and fifteen minutes of movement, go on
that walk, get outdoors and watch how your mood and
mind change. And finally, number seven is limiting our exposure
(23:54):
to negativity. I was recently on a podcast and I
was talking to Tinks and we were talking about this
idea of how the challenge today is our news finds us.
We don't find our news. Before people would open up
the newspaper to see what the news was. Today, you're
on social media trying to figure out what your friends
are doing, and you're reading about something happening halfway across
(24:17):
the world. You're about to send a message to a
family member and someone sends something in the group chat
which is about a news update. We no longer find
our news. Before you were primed, you were prepared. I'm
going to look at the news to see what's happening
in the world today. You're trying to connect, you're trying
to show empathy, you're trying to love, you're trying to
have fun, and you're finding the news at that time.
(24:40):
It's extremely confusing and draining for your mind, which is
looking for love and being overloaded by other information. No,
I'm not saying the news is not important. I'm saying
It's important to be informed, but our mind is better
when we've chosen what we're doing. If your mind knows
you're watching the news, you're about to pick up a newspaper,
(25:01):
or about to read a news site or a newsletter
that you love, the mind is prepared and primed. You
can't avoid negativity, but you can look for the good
around you. You can't stop people from criticizing you, but
you can decide which feedback matters. You can't erase stress completely,
(25:23):
but you can find healthy ways to handle it. You
can't avoid every bad day, but you can appreciate the
good ones. You can't stop difficult moments, but you can
decide what they teach you. You can't control others attitudes,
but you can protect your own mood. You can't always
(25:45):
avoid negativity, but you can choose how much you allow.
In study show fifty six percent of adults report higher
stress due to constant news and social media consumption. Remember
you are what you consume. It's important to create a
digital diet, a digital fast, and a digital detox, and
(26:09):
a digital plan to support the mind that you want.
One of my favorite zen stories is when a student
asked their teacher, how do you remain at peace despite
the chaos of the world. The Master smiled and said,
I simply don't argue with reality. Most of our tension
(26:32):
is created because we want things to be different, when
in reality, when we accept what's happening and we work
to make them different, we improve. When you want something
to be different and when you work for something to
be different, it's two different experiences. When you work to
make something different, you feel closer to the solution, so
(26:55):
the problem feels smaller, whereas when you want something to
be different, standing away from the problem, and it feels
bigger and uncontrollable. If you've been really overwhelmed recently, take
a twenty four hour media detox today, no news, no
social media, no negativity, and observe how your mind feels
(27:20):
and build a positivity shield. Limit news to one short
daily check that you define, look at the news at
one time in the day. Mute negative accounts, and deliberately
subscribe to uplifting podcasts or inspiring content, and unsubscribe from
the others. I hope this seventh step ritual and method
(27:43):
creates less negative thoughts and more importantly, control over the
ones that do get through to you. Thank you so
much for listening. Make sure you've subscribed, Send this episode
to someone who'll appreciate it, and I'll see you on
the next one. If you love this episode, you'll enjoy
my inter you with doctor Daniel Aman on how to
change your life by changing your brain. If we want
(28:06):
a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain.
You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to
scan over a thousand convicted felons and over one hundred murderers,
and their brains are very damaged.
Hey everyone, It's Jay Shaddy and I'm thrilled to announce
my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
experience on Purpose in person. Join me in a city
near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
(00:25):
spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences
for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a
meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now.
Head to Jsheddy, dop me Forward Slash Tour and get
yours today. Your thoughts are not always true, Challenge them.
(00:49):
Your thoughts are not always reality. Don't accept them at
face value. When doubts appear, don't assume. Investigate when fear whispers,
don't bow down. Look closer. When negativity rises, don't believe
(01:10):
demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance. Negativity grows when
you don't fight back. The number one health and wellness podcast,
Jay Sety, Jay sheety Lyty. Hey everyone, Welcome back to
On Purpose I'm so glad you joined me, And if
(01:34):
you've not yet subscribed, click that button so that you
never miss an episode. It's astounding to me the community
that we're building together. And when you subscribe here, you're
not only supporting this show, you're actually starting to support yourself.
You're saying, this is a priority, this is important to me.
I want to invest in my growth. Today's episode is
(01:58):
all about what to do with those negative thoughts. If
you're someone that experiences intrusive, negative, difficult thoughts, this episode
is for you. If you're someone who walks out at
a meeting and can't stop thinking about something negative that happened,
or you were out with friends last week and you
(02:19):
can't stop thinking about a moment or an experience that
felt awkward or uncomfortable, this episode is for you. And
if you're someone that finds yourself just caught in a
negative spiral, this episode is for you. I'm going to
give you a seven step method to actually master your
(02:40):
thoughts and negativity. I want you to become unbeatable, undefeatable
when it comes to negative thoughts. Because here's the reality.
Negative thoughts will always arise, they'll always appear no one
in this world can never have a negative thought. But
(03:00):
you can make sure that a negative thought never controls you.
You can win the battle and win the fight, and
that's what we're doing today. Step one is you have
to learn to recognize and acknowledge your thoughts. All of
us have so many thoughts every single day, but we're
not always sure about the systems. We're not always sure
(03:24):
about the patterns. And I want to share a spiritual
truth with you that is so important. You are not
your thoughts. They're just visitors passing through your mind. You
are not your thoughts. They're just noise, not the truth.
(03:45):
You are not your thoughts. They're temporary, not permanent. Notice them,
but don't let them define you. Name them, but don't
give them your power. Watch them, but don't give them
your identity. The moment you recognize them, they lose their grip.
(04:06):
The moment you name them, they start to dissolve. The
moment you see them clearly, you set yourself free. Negative
thoughts are not facts. Awareness is your power. Negative thoughts
are not your reality. Awareness is your protection. Negative thoughts
(04:28):
are not who you are. Awareness is your path to
emotional freedom. It starts with being aware of our thoughts,
aware of which ones appear often, which ones don't appear enough,
Aware of what we say when we first look in
the mirror, Aware of what we say when things are
(04:51):
not going well. How many of you are the quickest
to judge yourself and critique yourself, but the first to
congratulate someone else? Are you that person who when you
make a mistake, you'll be really harsh and beat yourself up,
but when someone else does, you're there to be empathetic
and kind and compassionate. We're so quick to judge ourselves
(05:14):
and so quick to celebrate others. It's so important we
become aware of these patterns that we all experience so
that we can begin this breakthrough. So I wanted to
keep repeating that, and I want you to say it
out loud. I am not my thoughts. You are not
your thoughts. They're just temporary clouds floating across the sky
(05:36):
of your mind. And neuroscience proves it simply labeling emotions.
Naming them activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the amygdala,
reducing emotional overwhelm. Think of negative thoughts like popa, bads, annoying, distracting,
(05:57):
but not permanent or meaningful. You can just hover over
them and press the cross and they're gone. The problem
isn't that they appear, it's that we believe them. Now,
imagine you're on your desktop or your laptop and all
these screens of pop ups just start turning up. You
only get lost in them when you start filling out
(06:19):
the form, when you get tricked into clicking on one.
We don't want to double click on a negative thought.
We want to allow it to pass through, like a
pop up or a cloud. There's a beautiful zen story
which talks about two monks watching the sky. Dark clouds
rolled in, and one monk cried, it's a bad omen.
(06:44):
The other simply said, clouds come and go. The clouds
didn't change, only their reaction did. Your thoughts are clouds?
Notice them, Name them, but don't become them. Here's an
experiment I want you to try, a habit, a practical
tip that I want you to give a go today.
(07:06):
When you notice a negative thought, pause and internally say
I'm having a negative thought about Just naming it can
weaken its hold. Stop saying you're a negative person, Stop
saying that you have negative energy. Switch that to I
(07:29):
am having a negative thought about naming it can weaken
its hold. Naming it can loosen its grip, and naming
it gives you back the power because you're now aware.
Here's a habit. I want you to set three thought
(07:49):
alert reminders morning, midday, evening, and when it goes off,
pause for thirty seconds to scan your mind and jot
down any negative patterns that you see. When you start
to understand the patterns, you have the power. Remember that
when you understand the patterns, you have the power because
(08:11):
now when that pattern emerges, you can do step two.
Step two is challenge your negative thoughts now that you
know that there's a pattern. Let's say you always feel
negative when you first wake up in the morning. Let's
say you always feel negative just before going to bed.
Maybe you feel negative just before you walk through the
(08:33):
door of the office. Right we have certain times in
our day when negativity is really loud. Now that we're
aware of them, we have to learn to challenge them.
Not in the moment, because that time we need to
focus on work, focus on sleep, focus on waking up.
We need to challenge them when we become aware of
(08:53):
the pattern in our spare time. Right now, that's what
you're doing. I want you to remember this. Your thoughts
are not always accurate. Question them. Your thoughts are not
always true, Challenge them. Your thoughts are not always reality.
(09:14):
Don't accept them at face value. When doubts appear, don't assume.
Investigate When fear whispers, don't bow down. Look closer. When
negativity rises, don't believe demand proof. Negativity thrives on blind acceptance.
(09:37):
Negativity grows when you don't fight back. Negativity wins when
you don't question it. Dig deeper. Beneath fear you'll find clarity.
Beneath doubt, you'll find truth. Beneath noise, you'll find your power.
(09:57):
One thought challenged is one chain broken. One thought challenged
is one burden lifted. One thought challenged is one step
toward freedom. Not every thought you have is true. In fact,
negativity loves to wear the mask of reality. Cognitive behavioral therapy,
(10:21):
or CBT, has long shown that challenging irrational thoughts reduces
anxiety and builds emotional strengths. Ask yourself, is this thought
a fact or just a fear? It's really important to know.
Is this thought a fact or is it just a fear?
(10:43):
So the next time you catch yourself spiraling, ask yourself,
what evidence do I have that this thought is true?
What evidence do I have that, in fact, this thought
is not true. You're almost becoming a lawyer in your
own life, learning how to negotiate, learning how to persuade,
(11:05):
learning how to build and stand up for an argument, because,
guess what, the lawyer in your mind that critique is
winning every case. But that's because we don't know how
to challenge our thought. If you think that lawyer in
your head is on your side, you lose every case,
you lose every battle. But when you realize that you're
(11:25):
not your thoughts, you're allowed to have a defense, You're
allowed to have a case. That's when you recognize that
you don't need to accept a thought that has no evidence,
and what you want to do is present the counter
evidence to your mind systematically. Here's a daily habit to
make it easy. Create a daily thought challenge. Each evening,
(11:50):
write one negative thought from your day, challenge it with evidence,
and rewrite it into a more balanced, empowering statement. If
you go to bed that way, you'll wake up with
more energy and naturally feel disconnected from the weight of
that thought. I couldn't be more excited to share something
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(12:13):
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(12:37):
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(13:18):
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sure you use the code on purpose. Step number three
is reframe your thoughts. My favorite quote is from Wayne Dyer.
(13:43):
He said, when we change the way we look at things,
the things we look at change. Your thoughts are a story.
But here's the best part. You can write the next
line right now. Actually, you get to choose the title
of the next chat right now. You get to write
the next few pages right now. When you change the story,
(14:08):
you change the feeling. When you change the perspective, you
change the power. When you change the lens, you change
your life. Negative stories exhaust you. Positive reframing energizes you.
Negative thinking shrinks you. Positive reframing frees you. Small changes
(14:33):
in your viewpoint can lead to big changes in your vision.
Let me give you an example. You're running late to
work because someone cut you off in traffic. You get
to work, and now you're telling everyone that story of
that person who cut you off in traffic. What you
forgot to mention was the person who smiled at you.
What you forgot to mention was the fact that you
still got to work on time. What you forgot to
(14:54):
mention is that you survived. Nothing bad happened. The other
side of the story was makes you feel rushed, makes
you feel overwhelmed, makes you feel stressed. Just reframing, it's
not that it didn't happen, it's that you're still here right.
Positivity doesn't mean I ignore things that happened. It means
(15:17):
I see everything about what happened, the fact that I'm alive,
the fact that I'm here, the fact that I'm on time,
the fact that I'm smiling at someone someone smiling at me,
that simple connection. How you frame an experience changes everything
about how you feel it. Let me say that again.
How you frame an experience changes everything about how you
(15:41):
feel it. If you frame and experience as negative, you
feel bad. If you frame an experience as useful, insightful, powerful, fulfilling,
it transforms you. Research shows that reframing negative experiences in
prove resilience and overall wellbeing. It's not denial, its conscious
(16:06):
perspective shifting. Two people can face the same storm one
sees destruction, the other sees renewal. I really love this
idea that two people can experience the same thing but
react to it differently. It is up to you to
(16:26):
choose to reframe a narrative, reframe and experience, and it's
all about practice. The first time you try and do
this is going to be really hard. By day five,
it's going to be easier. By month five, you're going
to be flying and flowing. You will be unbeatable. A
negative experience or a negative thought won't be able to
control you because you've practiced reframing an experience. That person
(16:51):
who you feel doesn't care about you, they just lost
a great friend. That person you feel doesn't that tell
you they just disconnected from a gift in their life.
We have to reframe and understand differently the experiences we
go through. Here's an experiment today, when a small inconvenience happens,
(17:15):
pause and reframe. How could this actually be working for me?
And here's a daily habit. Start a reframing jar. Each night,
write down one negative event and intentionally reframe it in
a neutral or positive light before placing it in the jar.
(17:36):
What's your mindset shift over weeks, you'll literally feel yourself
rewiring your brain to notice different things. Our day feels
bad because we notice the bad more than the good.
Our day feels hard because we notice the difficult more
than our determination. Our day feels long because we notice
(17:58):
the hardship more more than we do the beautiful relationships.
Shift your perspective. Step four is practicing mindfulness and meditation.
Take a moment to pause and breathe deeply right now.
Mindfulness means simply noticing your present experience, let thoughts pass
(18:21):
without holding onto them. Pay attention to your breath. It's
your anchor. Meditation doesn't require perfection, just consistency. Practice letting
go of anything you're holding onto. Quieting your mind, even
briefly can reset your entire day. It's the oldest wisdom
(18:43):
in the book. But taking a few breaths can reset
you when you're nervous, when you're anxious, when you're stressed,
when you have negative thoughts. Your breath is faster, shallower.
As soon as you breathe, you make it deeper slower,
and you regain your power when you're moving fast. Think
about it. If you're driving a car really fast and
(19:05):
something comes out in front of you. It's really hard
to maneuver around it. Right, So when a negative thought
comes at you, if you're already moving really fast, chances
are you're going to collide. And that's what we experience
every day, collisions with our negative thoughts. But imagine if
you are driving a little bit slower, you could slow
(19:25):
down just ahead of that disruption and swerve comfortably, coolly, calmly.
That's what regular mindfulness practice allows you to do. Mindfulness
is about being where you are, not racing ahead, not
clinging to the past. Research from cabots In shows that
(19:47):
even short, consistent mindfulness practices can reduce anxiety and depression significantly.
Mindfulness is like clearing a cluttered desk. You create space
for clarity. So here's the experiment I want you to do.
Set a five minute timer today, Focus only on your
(20:07):
breathing when thoughts wonder gently, return attention to your breath
without judgment, And for every one hour, stop and breathe
deeply for one minute and watch how you start getting
the pace to actually maneuver and shift. Number five is
(20:29):
something we don't do enough of engaging in joyful activities,
you can't always avoid difficult emotions, but you can decide
how long they stay. You can't choose every result, but
you can choose what you learn from it. You can't
always avoid setbacks, but you can decide how they shape you.
(20:53):
You can't choose others' perceptions, but you can choose your
own self worth. You can't erase past experiences, but you
can choose how they influence your future. You can't control
the world's chaos, but you can choose to create your
own peace. Studies show that regular engagement in enjoyable activities
(21:18):
lowers depression significantly. Doing what you love is an indulgence.
It's essential maintenance for your mental health. So here's what
I want you to do today. Spend at least fifteen
minutes doing something you genuinely love, having your coffee, reading, gardening, dancing, painting,
(21:40):
whatever it is, and notice your mood before and after.
Schedule a daily joy episode. Block out twenty minutes each
morning or evening just for an activity that nourishes you right.
Think of it like a joy meeting or a joy episode.
(22:00):
Being able to do that allows you to tap into
joy and reduce stress. This is such an important part
because ultimately negativity and positivity are both contagious. Have you
ever met someone and you just feel positive. Have you
ever done an activity and you just feel positive, Well,
you can be that person. That person wasn't born that way.
(22:21):
They're practicing, they're developing that skill, and you can as well.
Step number six is looking after your temple your body.
Your body isn't separate from your mind. It's the vehicle
that carries your spirit. Regular exercise reduces depressive symptoms by
(22:42):
up to thirty percent. Hydration boost brain function, sleep resets
your emotional baseline. It's simple, but it's foundational. A Zen
student once asked his master, how do I attain enlightenment?
The master applied when hungry, eat, when tired, sleep, when sad, move.
(23:10):
Caring for the body wasn't secondary, it was sacred. I
also love this idea because when we're out of food,
we eat. When you're out of growth, you choose to grow.
So today's experiment is go for a twenty minute walk
today for a gentle stretch, and pay attention to how
(23:32):
your mind feels afterwards. If you want to boost your day,
it's as simple as this. Seven hours of sleep, eight
glasses of water, and fifteen minutes of movement, go on
that walk, get outdoors and watch how your mood and
mind change. And finally, number seven is limiting our exposure
(23:54):
to negativity. I was recently on a podcast and I
was talking to Tinks and we were talking about this
idea of how the challenge today is our news finds us.
We don't find our news. Before people would open up
the newspaper to see what the news was. Today, you're
on social media trying to figure out what your friends
are doing, and you're reading about something happening halfway across
(24:17):
the world. You're about to send a message to a
family member and someone sends something in the group chat
which is about a news update. We no longer find
our news. Before you were primed, you were prepared. I'm
going to look at the news to see what's happening
in the world today. You're trying to connect, you're trying
to show empathy, you're trying to love, you're trying to
have fun, and you're finding the news at that time.
(24:40):
It's extremely confusing and draining for your mind, which is
looking for love and being overloaded by other information. No,
I'm not saying the news is not important. I'm saying
It's important to be informed, but our mind is better
when we've chosen what we're doing. If your mind knows
you're watching the news, you're about to pick up a newspaper,
(25:01):
or about to read a news site or a newsletter
that you love, the mind is prepared and primed. You
can't avoid negativity, but you can look for the good
around you. You can't stop people from criticizing you, but
you can decide which feedback matters. You can't erase stress completely,
(25:23):
but you can find healthy ways to handle it. You
can't avoid every bad day, but you can appreciate the
good ones. You can't stop difficult moments, but you can
decide what they teach you. You can't control others attitudes,
but you can protect your own mood. You can't always
(25:45):
avoid negativity, but you can choose how much you allow.
In study show fifty six percent of adults report higher
stress due to constant news and social media consumption. Remember
you are what you consume. It's important to create a
digital diet, a digital fast, and a digital detox, and
(26:09):
a digital plan to support the mind that you want.
One of my favorite zen stories is when a student
asked their teacher, how do you remain at peace despite
the chaos of the world. The Master smiled and said,
I simply don't argue with reality. Most of our tension
(26:32):
is created because we want things to be different, when
in reality, when we accept what's happening and we work
to make them different, we improve. When you want something
to be different and when you work for something to
be different, it's two different experiences. When you work to
make something different, you feel closer to the solution, so
(26:55):
the problem feels smaller, whereas when you want something to
be different, standing away from the problem, and it feels
bigger and uncontrollable. If you've been really overwhelmed recently, take
a twenty four hour media detox today, no news, no
social media, no negativity, and observe how your mind feels
(27:20):
and build a positivity shield. Limit news to one short
daily check that you define, look at the news at
one time in the day. Mute negative accounts, and deliberately
subscribe to uplifting podcasts or inspiring content, and unsubscribe from
the others. I hope this seventh step ritual and method
(27:43):
creates less negative thoughts and more importantly, control over the
ones that do get through to you. Thank you so
much for listening. Make sure you've subscribed, Send this episode
to someone who'll appreciate it, and I'll see you on
the next one. If you love this episode, you'll enjoy
my inter you with doctor Daniel Aman on how to
change your life by changing your brain. If we want
(28:06):
a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain.
You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to
scan over a thousand convicted felons and over one hundred murderers,
and their brains are very damaged.
Host
Jay Shetty
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