Is your to-do list stressing you out?
How often do you feel like you’re just trying to catch up?
Today, Jay dives deep into the power of slowing down—not as a luxury, but as a necessary life strategy. He walks us through eight actionable and science-backed steps to feel more present and connected to your day–no yoga mat, silent retreat, or drastic life change required. Whether it’s taking five-minute tech breaks, adding little rituals between tasks, focusing on one thing at a time, or even just adjusting your posture, each practice is a reminder that mindfulness isn’t something we need to schedule, it's something we can embody.
Jay reminds us that even the tiniest moments—like taking three deep breaths at a red light or saying your actions out loud—can pull us back into the present. Through real-life stories and powerful research, he shows how we can snap out of autopilot and find calm, clarity, and a sense of control, even on the busiest days.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Slow Down to Speed Up Your Day
How to Use Time Anchoring to Manage Stress and Anxiety
How to Transition Tasks with Micro-Rituals, Not Rush
How to Narrate Your Actions to Stay Present in the Moment
Whether you’re juggling back-to-back meetings, dealing with family chaos, or just craving a little peace, this episode is your gentle reminder to slow down, take a breath, and tap back into the calm that’s always been there—one mindful moment at a time.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:09 How to Reconnect with Your Day and Move with Intention
03:25 Step #1 Take 5 Minute Tech Breaks to Recharge Focus
06:45 Step #2 Pause Emotionally to Regain Clarity
10:47 Step #3 Simplify Your Choices to Avoid Overwhelm
12:47 Step #4 Are You Working on Too Many Things at a Time?
16:01 Step #5 Reset Your Posture to Shift Your Mindset
20:40 Step #6 Time Can Be Your Anchor—Not Your Stressor
24:08 Step #7 Create a Reset Ritual Before Your Next Task
27:56 Step #8 Narrate Your Actions Out Loud to Stay Present
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You ever feel like you're just getting through the day,
like you're checking things off but not really feeling anything.
I have definitely been there. I've been traveling, I've been working,
and it can feel like kind of numbing. Right. You
realize you're so busy being productive you're not actually present.
And I had this moment sitting alone at a restaurant
(00:22):
after a long day, and for the first time in weeks,
I slowed down, tasted the food, watch the people, took
a breath, and I thought, why don't I do this
more often? And why do I have to wait for
a moment like this to do it? So today's solo
is all about that, how to reconnect with your day,
your people, even your plate. Because you're not too busy
(00:43):
to feel connected, you just said, of practice, we all are.
So let's talk about the little shifts that bring you
back to yourself. The number one health and wellness podcast
Jay Sheety Jay Shetty Nay shet Hey, everyone, welcome back
to on Purpose. It's just Sheddy. Make sure you've subscribed
(01:04):
to this channel if you haven't already, so that you
never miss an episode. Today's conversation is all about how
to reconnect with your day, and how slowing down actually
makes life speed up, how slowing down actually makes life
more effective, and how slowing down allows you to move
(01:27):
as fast as you want. I think for a long
time we've told people, hey, if you have a busy, hectic,
crazy life, that's just the way it is. And then
we hope for a vacation where things slow and calm down.
But the reality is, if we can move slow to
move fast, it can change the way we think and live.
(01:48):
And here are seven science backsteps for a hectic day
and the habits that transform it for us. The reality
is we live in chaos. Person checks their phone fifty
eight times a day, spends one hour five minutes on
social media, and receives around forty six notifications daily. Now,
(02:13):
if you're like me, times every one of those stats
by four, forty seven percent of us can't focus on
a task longer than two hours. No wonder we feel frantic, distracted,
and emotionally depleted even before lunch. But what if you
could reclaim calm, not by changing your schedule, but by
(02:37):
reclaiming your mind. That's what I want to help you
do today with my seven step guide to being more
present Right now, no retreats, just real life, practical actions
rooted in psychology. I think for so many of us,
we think, yeah, presence is something that I can't even
(02:57):
attain anymore. It's gone out the window. I have to
wait to go on a retreat, I have to wait
to be in meditation, I have to wait to be
in yoga. And I think that's partly the challenge. We've
drawn this narrative that your life is busy and you
can't be present in it. Your life is crazy, and
that's just the way it is. And I've done that
to myself sometimes as well. But I've also found a
(03:18):
way of changing that narrative and shifting my reality, and
I want to share that with you today. Here's step one.
Take five tech breaks. Now, when I say five, I
mean take five five minutes, right, and maybe you can
do these five times throughout the day or if not more.
(03:38):
I'm excited to continue this conversation, but first a word
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(05:29):
travel experience. Discover more and make your next adventure want
to remember with Chase Sapfire Reserve. Doctor Evita Singh from
Ohio State University found that taking five to ten minute
tech breaks every hour boosts focus and reduces stress. So
here's what you want to do. Set hourly reminders. After
(05:52):
fifty five minutes of screen time, spend five minutes off devices.
You can walk, you can stretch, you can breathe. Suddenly
your attention becomes sharper instead of splintered. I think this
is one of the issues with the way we think
about meetings. Meetings are thirty minutes or sixty minutes in
our calendar. Why cann't they be twenty five minutes or
(06:13):
fifty five minutes? What are we achieving in five minutes
in a meeting that we would lose if we spent
that five minutes walking, getting hydrated with water, or looking
out of the window. These are the three habits you
want to develop in those five minutes between meetings. You're
(06:34):
going to stand up and walk. You're going to walk
and get some water. And you're going to get some
water and go look out of a window. Now why,
when you're moving every hour, it's going to be great
for your metabolism, it's going to be great for your body.
You're going to get steps in without even trying. We
all know the benefits of water. We need to be
more hydrated. So many of us are missing out on
(06:56):
the amount of water that we need to be having.
The windows the most interesting. When you look into the distance,
it actually allows your mind to feel relieved. Today everything's
up in our face, our laptops, our phone screens, everything.
We've actually lost the ability to look off into the
distance to give our minds some space. If you look
into the distance, find a cloud, find the tip of
(07:19):
a tree, whatever it may be, it allows your mind
to feel open. I want you to try and practice
setting meetings for twenty five minutes or fifty five minutes
instead of thirty minutes to sixty minutes. We all live
in this world as if the next task is life
or death, that these five minutes are going to change
(07:40):
the history of humanity. The reality is, maybe you'll spend
five minutes all staring at your own laptops in between
a meeting. Maybe that five minutes on zoom is making
sure that people are still knowing when they're on mute
and when they're not. Like, we're not solving anything that's
changing our lives in those five minutes, yet we make
(08:00):
it feel. The stress, the hecticness makes us feel that
we're solving some rare disease. Now, if you are, that's incredible,
But for the majority of us, those five minutes back
invested into our mental health and wellbeing could transform the
rest of our day. So from tomorrow, start setting twenty
(08:22):
five and fifty five minute meetings and when someone asks
you why tell them what you do in that five minutes.
It will actually start to inspire others. It will actually
trust start to shift the culture. That's what we're really
talking about here. How do we shift the culture when
the culture has made it so that we feel we're
productive and effective when every second of the day is
(08:45):
fully maximized and fully accounted for. Now, I believe in
living an intentional life, but therefore I also believe in
intentional breaks. Getting five minutes every thirty minutes or five
minutes every hour is really stick for each and every
one of us. Study show even brief mindfulness pauses reduce
(09:06):
emotional reactivity and improve focus. So here's what I want
you to do. At any stoplight or right before a meeting,
take three deep breaths and refocus on your senses. You're
no longer carried by the day you actually pilot it.
This is something that I've practiced when I'm in the
back of an uber, before I go into a meeting,
(09:29):
before or after I send an email. If you just
pause at any of these beginnings and ends that naturally
happen throughout the day, before a phone call, after a
phone call, before a zoom call, after a zoom call,
you use these micro moments to just take in three
deep breaths. Let's do it together right now, in through
(09:54):
your nose and out through your mouth. That's your reset.
(10:17):
Notice how your body feels a little more relaxed, your
mind feels a little more at ease, and you don't
have to carve out specific time to do this. You
can actually do this anywhere you are, wherever you are,
at your desk in your home, while you're commuting. It's
a beautiful practice that allows you to slow down. The
(10:40):
way I like to describe it is almost like when
you're watching slow motion footage of something incredible, you realize
that that person felt like they had so much more
time than you thought they did. If you ever watched
a basketball player in slow motion, if you've ever watched
an in slow motion, a musician in slow motion, it
(11:02):
feels like they have so much time. And even if
you've played sport, when you realize you have more time
than you think, you're actually able to do more with it.
But when you're rushed, when you feel you don't have time,
don't we all just make mistakes when you feel you
don't have time. Aren't you more likely to trip over?
Aren't you more likely to forget your wallet at home? On?
(11:23):
You more likely to send the wrong email not change
the subject line. That's what happens when we're rushing. But
when you think you have a little more time, you
actually get to get it right. So I want you
to trick yourself. When you slow down your breath, when
you're breathing deeper, when you're breathing longer, right, when your
(11:45):
breath is less shallow and less fast, you're literally slowing
things down. And what happens when you slow down you
see things more clearly. Why is there a speed limit
on the road? Why is there a different speed limit
on the road. I remember learning that when you have
a thirty miles per hour speed limit, The truth is
(12:06):
because if you hit a child or someone on the
road at thirty three, the difference in those three miles
per hour could be catastrophic for that person. In three miles,
and there's a reason why it's there. Those three miles
could make all the difference. So I'm not asking you
to slow down from thirty three miles to fifteen miles
(12:29):
per hour. I'm saying, what if three breaths just slow
you down by three miles per hour all of a sudden,
You're not leading to a tragic event, to burn out
to exhaustion. You've actually saved yourself. So think about that
and think about how you can just slow down just
a tiny bit. I think we think about being slow
(12:49):
as being stopped right. We think about it as like, oh, yeah,
I just need to stop. I need everything to stop.
It's not real. It'll be great if you can achieve it,
but in reality, we're not going to get there every
day or every week. But these micro moments could change
it for us. Number three, chunk your choices. The human
(13:09):
working memory says that we can just about deal with
seven items at once, and otherwise the overload drops out
decision quality. Here's what I want you to do. If
you're staring at a long to do list, probably over
seven things before your day starts, choose only three tasks
(13:31):
that matter most and block them in your calendar. One
of the reasons why our day feels fast is we're
trying to do a lot with little time, not realizing
that if we tried to do less with a bit
more time, not only would we complete tasks, we would
actually have the ability to move on to the next
(13:51):
You can create clarity amid the noise and win the
morning before it starts. You want to get seven done.
At the end of the day, you realize you only
got four, and then that too with bad quality because
you were rushing. But what if you just got three
done really well, so well that you won't have to
waste time on them in the future. When you've got
four out of seven done or five hours seven done,
(14:12):
they were all done at like sixty percent efforts seventy
percent effort, So you got more done, but actually got
less done because in the long term it was less
effective because you'll have to go backwards and solve the
problem you created. But if you've got three things done
today and ninety percent, all of a sudden, you're cruising
and you can do the same thing tomorrow, doing less
(14:35):
can actually achieve more. Doing less can actually be more
effective than doing more. Doing less can be more productive
than doing more in the long term. But we all
get trapped by this short term thinking, thinking that if
I do more today, if I get more done, then
(14:56):
that will help me in the future, not realizing that well,
if I don't get quality done, the quantity doesn't matter.
Step four is all about single tasking. Science shows that
multitasking reduces efficiency and increases stress. So here's what I
want you to do. When you're working. Silence your notifications,
(15:19):
close your extra tabs, set up a twenty five minute timer,
and work with full focus. I see this often with
someone who's got their laptop and their phone, and maybe
you even have an iPad. You have all these devices,
they're all connected up to personal and professional notifications, and
(15:39):
you're trying to do some deep work. You're working on
a report, you're working on a deck, you're editing something,
and every thirty seconds you have a distraction. One is
from your mom who wants to check in with you
and find out what you ate. The other one is
from a friend who wants a picture that you took
at the weekend. The other is from a colleague who
wants you to reply to the email right now. And
(16:01):
the other is from your friend from three months ago
who's upset with you for not coming to their birthday
and you're trying to write a report. How's that ever
gonna happen? How are you going to respond effectively to
any of those people? The friend from three months ago
who's upset you didn't go to their birthday, you need
to connect with them with some depth and some clarity
because they're upset. You're managing their emotions. The friend who
(16:24):
wants to picture, You're gonna have to go through your
camera roll. This weekend of sixty seven pictures you took
of the same exact pose. But find the one that
they like, you're gonna send them through and they're gonna
be like, no, there was one with the ocean in
the background in this color. There was one where I
was posing this way. All right. Now you've lost a
bunch of time looking for that image. Now you've got
the person who wants you to email back right now,
(16:45):
but you don't even have context of what's happening at work.
We invite distractions when we're trying to do deep work.
If you are truly, honestly trying to do deep work,
you have to leave your phone out of the room,
you have to turn your notifications off, and you have
to be locked in. And the problem with us is
we think we'll achieve more or get more done if
(17:08):
we're always connected. It's the opposite. You get more done
if you're completely disconnected. You get the task done in
less time, with more quality, with more efficiency. If you're
not distracted. All of us are multitasking. Now here's the
interesting thing. Only two percent of the world's population can
(17:31):
effectively multitask. You know. The funny thing is when you
hear that everyone thinks they're in that two percent. But
the truth is most of us are in the ninety
eight percent who can't multitask to save our lives. And
even if you can multitask, you're placing so much stress
on your brain and mind to stretch that far that often.
(17:52):
How can you reduce distractions? How can you reduce everything
when you're focused on a task. When I'm writing my book,
when I'm preparing for these scripts, when I'm factoring this
time in for the podcast, I can't write if I'm
distracted by seven different tabs. Limit it, limit it. You
(18:13):
will achieve so much more in your life. I promise you.
Give it a go. I have so much more to
share with you. But we're just going to take a
short break for our sponsors and I'll be right back. Okay,
we're back. Let's dive right back in step five, posture reset,
(18:35):
mind reset. We've been talking a lot about how the
mind affects the body. We've forgotten how the body affects
the mind. Upright posture raises alertness, positivity, and slouching actually
reduces energy. So every hour, stand tall for thirty seconds,
feel your feet and breathe. I actually do this before
(18:58):
I go on stage. Before I'm going on stage, I've
noticed that I can be nervous. I still get nervous.
We will still get nervous because I care. But if
I slouch, if I close up my body, actually get
more nervous and get more stressed. But when I stand
in Superman post put my hands on my hips, pump
out my chest, all of a sudden, I'm feeling that confidence.
(19:19):
I'm breathing better. It's not some mental trick. It's physicality.
If you're closing up your shoulders, if you're making your
chest smaller, if you're going inward, you're actually making harder
for yourself to breathe. Making harder for yourself to breathe
means less oxygen means less energy. So naturally it works
that way. Change your posture. All of us are sitting
(19:40):
around all day. I'm sitting right now. If you're sitting
in a chair, right now, push back your shoulders right even,
feel your arms wrap around the back of the chair
so you can really push out, even if it's artificial,
and even take your fingers behind your chair and stretch.
Push your shoulders up right now. Notice if the back
of your head is aligned with your spine, or if
(20:02):
the back of your head is actually forward. Doing that
for a few seconds, all of a sudden, you feel
your body shifting, You feel your energy shifting. These are
micro moments to become more present. These are micro moments
to become more conscious, to become in touch with our body.
Sometimes we're so lost in our mind we don't even
know what our body is feeling. How many times have
(20:22):
you had it? Where a week later you go, wait
a minute, why is my ankle? Hey don't even know
what happened? Well, why have I got that backache? What happened?
And then all of a sudden you realize seven days
ago you knocked it on something or something like that,
but you ignored it. Because we're so disconnected from our
bodies and our minds. We have to learn to reconnect
our body and our mind. You will win it life
(20:43):
when your body and mind are in the same place.
You will lose life when your body and mind are
in different places. Because here's what happens. When you're at work,
you're thinking about vacation, and therefore, when you're on vacation,
you're thinking about work. Inert tention bleeds. You can't turn
(21:03):
it on and off. You can't say I don't want
to be present at work and then be present on
vacation because you've trained your mind to be absent. You
can't be abstinent at work and present on vacation, and
you can't be present on vacation and abstinent at work.
If you're present at work, you'll be present on vacation,
and if you're abstinent at work, you'll be absent on vacation.
(21:23):
That's how the mind works. It only knows how to
be where your feet are or not, based on how
you've trained it. Always check in when you walk into
a new space. Practice five four three two one. What
are five things you can see? The shades, the colors,
the shapes. What are four things you can touch? What
(21:45):
you're wearing, the temperatures, the textures. What are three things
you can hear? Distant chatter, white noise, the sound of
your own voice. Two things you can smell, a fragrance
or a flower. And one thing you can taste, maybe
lunch or a mint or whatever it may have been.
All of a sudden, your body and mind are in
the same place. Most of us. We walk into a room,
(22:07):
our mind is still in the last meeting our bodies
in this meeting. We finished that meeting, and your mind goes,
oh gosh, I wasn't even present in that meeting. Now
we're absent in the next meeting, and our bodies in
the next meeting. Right, We're constantly messing around with this
absence and presence. Our mind is absent, our body is present.
Our body is absent, our mind is present. When they're
(22:28):
both present, you actually have a better experience of life.
Haven't you seen that? I'm sure some of you who
have children, who love spending time with your kids, who
love spending time with a family member, love spending time
with your friends. After it finishes, sometimes you think, I
don't even know where I was. Where did the time go?
Is it over all ready? That's because our mind and
body weren't in the same place. When your mind and
(22:50):
body in the same place, you can absorb that moment,
really feel it, and then let it go comfortably. That's
the beauty of it. When you're present, you'll actually let
go happily because you've absorbed the whole moment. But when
you haven't absorbed the whole moment, you're still run to
hold onto it go. I don't want this to end
because you actually haven't been there the whole time. Number six,
(23:12):
use time anchoring to calm your mind. When we mentally
fast forward beyond a stressful moment, we reduce anxiety and
emotional reactivity. So when you're overwhelmed, ask will this matter
in a week? Will this matter in a month? When
(23:33):
you zoom out, it recenters your brain and regulates emotional overreactions.
Now why did this work? You shift from reactive mode
to reflective mode and you reclaim control over your perspective.
I'll tell you why I believe this really does work.
It's because when you're dealing with stress, you've now totally
(23:55):
zoomed in. Have you ever had that? When you go
for a stressful moment in your life, you totally zoom me,
even if it's the smallest thing, and now you turn
that tiny thing into a huge thing, asking a question
like will this matter in a week? Will this matter
in a year? It allows you to zoom out and
actually find balance, so you're not avoiding it. I'm not
telling you to forget about it. I'm not telling you
(24:15):
it's not important. You want to see things as important
as they are. I encourage people to have what I
call a stress scale in their life. Zero is not
stressful at all. Ten is the most stressful you'll ever be. Actually,
think of an event that is the most stressful event ever.
(24:36):
Your family's unwell, maybe someone passes away. Maybe you are
losing your job and you have no money left. Like,
that's ten on a stress scale, Right, I've lost all
my money, I'm broke, i have nothing. What zero for you?
Based on that being the most extreme? What zero for you?
Maybe zero is when I'm hanging out on the weekend
(24:58):
and I've got nothing to think about. Now, when you
stub your toe, is it really a nine or is
it actually a two? Now when you have a difficult
conversation at work, is it really a nine or an
eight or is it actually more like a four? Does
that make sense? When you look at your stress scale
and you know what the worst thing that could ever
(25:19):
happen is, and what the best thing that could ever
happen is, you now look at things in perspective. The
biggest challenge for us is when we don't zoom out
and look at life that way. Everything feels like a ten.
Everything feels like a ten. All day you missed the bus,
it's a ten. You miss the train, it's a ten.
You had a falling out with a friend, it's a ten.
Everything in our life will feel like a ten if
(25:42):
we don't have this stress scale and we've realized what
a ten actually is. Losing my job or losing someone
I love, having no money, being broke, that's a ten.
That's worth my stress. But actually everything up until then
is probably a five or six. All of a sudden,
I can deal with it for what it's worth. I'm
not telling you stress isn't valid. I'm not telling you
(26:02):
that you don't have real stress in your life. What
I'm saying is you want to deal with it for
what it's worth. Right. A doctor would never treat a
stub toe in the same way as they treat a
broken foot. You just don't treat them in the same way.
But we, in our mind make a stub toe feel
like a broken foot, and that's where our stress comes from.
(26:26):
That's what creates more anxiety, more tension, and more pressure
because everything feels like a ten. If you take one
thing away from this episode, I want it to be that,
do not forget that stress scale. Make sure you're really
clear on it. Number seven Switch tasks with a ritual,
not a rush. The brain takes up to twenty five
(26:48):
minutes to fully refocus and switch tasks. So if you're
going to refocus, you're not going to be able to
do it immediately. If you want to go from a
numbers meeting to a creative meeting, your brain is going
to take twenty five minutes to figure that out. If
you want to go from a tactical meeting and a
strategic meeting to a free flowing brainstorm, it's going to
(27:09):
take twenty minutes to figure out. Rituals help the brain
reset faster, and this is research from Harvard Business. Before
switching tasks, especially from work to personal as well, even
coming home, create a micro ritual. Maybe you light a candle,
maybe you stretch, maybe you put on some music. Think
(27:31):
about that. Even when you come home, it can take
you twenty five minutes for your brain to switch from
work to personal. That's why sometimes the commute is healthy.
I think one of the challenges that working from home
broad around is that we actually don't get that twenty
five minutes the commute in the morning allowed you to
switch from being at home to being at work, and
(27:53):
the commute home from work allowed you to switch from
being at work to being at home today. You walk
up or down the stairs, you walk in and out
of a room, and you're meant to be at home.
So all of a sudden, when your partner says to you, hey,
what are we doing this weekend? You're still thinking about
the meeting. Your partner says to your way, you didn't
do this for the kids, Yeah, you got to take
them out. You're still thinking about the meeting. You walk
(28:15):
into work and someone says to you, hey, if you
got the report on my deskin, You're thinking, wait a minute,
I just put my kid's clothes on and like give
them a shower. Like, you know, where are we at now? Right?
So our brain doesn't even have the time to get
to where we are. So now we need rituals to
signal to your nervous system that it's safe to switch gears.
(28:36):
So what you need to do is allow yourself to
have a ritual. That could be a word you say,
maybe it's a scent from a candle, and this is
how I like to think about it. Rituals are sight
things you can see, scent things you can smell, and
sound things you can hear. You walk into your workplace
and you have music that feels like work. You walk
(28:59):
into your and you have music that feels like home.
You walk into your workplace and you have a scent
that reminds you of work. You walk into your home
and you have a scent that reminds you of personal
casual life and a site. You walk into your office,
you see a quote on the wall that inspires you.
You walk into your home area, you see a picture
of a family that relaxes you. You can use site, scent,
(29:22):
and sound to act as rituals for transitioning between things.
Number eight. Narrate what you're doing out loud in your head.
Naming your present actions grounds you in the moment and
interrupts autopilot behavior. Try this while washing dishes, brushing your teeth,
(29:42):
or even walking. I'm brushing my teeth, I feel the water,
I'm noticing the mint. I'm right here. You pull your
attention out of spiraling thoughts and anchor it in your senses,
instantly increasing presence. Become a narrator of your life. Talking
things out loud actually gets them off your chest and
(30:03):
out of your mind. Where we feel so much stress.
Have you ever had that stress? Makes you feel tight chested,
it makes you feel heavy headed. When you talk it out,
you get it out of yourself. Remember you don't need
to escape your life to find presence. You just need
to choose it minute by minute, moment by moment, or
slow down and discover how much calmer, clearer, and stronger
(30:27):
you can feel even on your craziest day. Thank you
so much for listening. I'm so glad you joined me.
Pass this on to someone who lives a busy, hectic life,
and I hope I'll see you here again soon. Take care.
If you love this podcast, you love my episode with
Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should
stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be
(30:52):
more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss
it like. It's not about being perfect. It's about just
every day, one step at the time, trying to be better,
try to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself.
I had to break myself down in order to be
able to be better.
You ever feel like you're just getting through the day,
like you're checking things off but not really feeling anything.
I have definitely been there. I've been traveling, I've been working,
and it can feel like kind of numbing. Right. You
realize you're so busy being productive you're not actually present.
And I had this moment sitting alone at a restaurant
(00:22):
after a long day, and for the first time in weeks,
I slowed down, tasted the food, watch the people, took
a breath, and I thought, why don't I do this
more often? And why do I have to wait for
a moment like this to do it? So today's solo
is all about that, how to reconnect with your day,
your people, even your plate. Because you're not too busy
(00:43):
to feel connected, you just said, of practice, we all are.
So let's talk about the little shifts that bring you
back to yourself. The number one health and wellness podcast
Jay Sheety Jay Shetty Nay shet Hey, everyone, welcome back
to on Purpose. It's just Sheddy. Make sure you've subscribed
(01:04):
to this channel if you haven't already, so that you
never miss an episode. Today's conversation is all about how
to reconnect with your day, and how slowing down actually
makes life speed up, how slowing down actually makes life
more effective, and how slowing down allows you to move
(01:27):
as fast as you want. I think for a long
time we've told people, hey, if you have a busy, hectic,
crazy life, that's just the way it is. And then
we hope for a vacation where things slow and calm down.
But the reality is, if we can move slow to
move fast, it can change the way we think and live.
(01:48):
And here are seven science backsteps for a hectic day
and the habits that transform it for us. The reality
is we live in chaos. Person checks their phone fifty
eight times a day, spends one hour five minutes on
social media, and receives around forty six notifications daily. Now,
(02:13):
if you're like me, times every one of those stats
by four, forty seven percent of us can't focus on
a task longer than two hours. No wonder we feel frantic, distracted,
and emotionally depleted even before lunch. But what if you
could reclaim calm, not by changing your schedule, but by
(02:37):
reclaiming your mind. That's what I want to help you
do today with my seven step guide to being more
present Right now, no retreats, just real life, practical actions
rooted in psychology. I think for so many of us,
we think, yeah, presence is something that I can't even
(02:57):
attain anymore. It's gone out the window. I have to
wait to go on a retreat, I have to wait
to be in meditation, I have to wait to be
in yoga. And I think that's partly the challenge. We've
drawn this narrative that your life is busy and you
can't be present in it. Your life is crazy, and
that's just the way it is. And I've done that
to myself sometimes as well. But I've also found a
(03:18):
way of changing that narrative and shifting my reality, and
I want to share that with you today. Here's step one.
Take five tech breaks. Now, when I say five, I
mean take five five minutes, right, and maybe you can
do these five times throughout the day or if not more.
(03:38):
I'm excited to continue this conversation, but first a word
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(05:29):
travel experience. Discover more and make your next adventure want
to remember with Chase Sapfire Reserve. Doctor Evita Singh from
Ohio State University found that taking five to ten minute
tech breaks every hour boosts focus and reduces stress. So
here's what you want to do. Set hourly reminders. After
(05:52):
fifty five minutes of screen time, spend five minutes off devices.
You can walk, you can stretch, you can breathe. Suddenly
your attention becomes sharper instead of splintered. I think this
is one of the issues with the way we think
about meetings. Meetings are thirty minutes or sixty minutes in
our calendar. Why cann't they be twenty five minutes or
(06:13):
fifty five minutes? What are we achieving in five minutes
in a meeting that we would lose if we spent
that five minutes walking, getting hydrated with water, or looking
out of the window. These are the three habits you
want to develop in those five minutes between meetings. You're
(06:34):
going to stand up and walk. You're going to walk
and get some water. And you're going to get some
water and go look out of a window. Now why,
when you're moving every hour, it's going to be great
for your metabolism, it's going to be great for your body.
You're going to get steps in without even trying. We
all know the benefits of water. We need to be
more hydrated. So many of us are missing out on
(06:56):
the amount of water that we need to be having.
The windows the most interesting. When you look into the distance,
it actually allows your mind to feel relieved. Today everything's
up in our face, our laptops, our phone screens, everything.
We've actually lost the ability to look off into the
distance to give our minds some space. If you look
into the distance, find a cloud, find the tip of
(07:19):
a tree, whatever it may be, it allows your mind
to feel open. I want you to try and practice
setting meetings for twenty five minutes or fifty five minutes
instead of thirty minutes to sixty minutes. We all live
in this world as if the next task is life
or death, that these five minutes are going to change
(07:40):
the history of humanity. The reality is, maybe you'll spend
five minutes all staring at your own laptops in between
a meeting. Maybe that five minutes on zoom is making
sure that people are still knowing when they're on mute
and when they're not. Like, we're not solving anything that's
changing our lives in those five minutes, yet we make
(08:00):
it feel. The stress, the hecticness makes us feel that
we're solving some rare disease. Now, if you are, that's incredible,
But for the majority of us, those five minutes back
invested into our mental health and wellbeing could transform the
rest of our day. So from tomorrow, start setting twenty
(08:22):
five and fifty five minute meetings and when someone asks
you why tell them what you do in that five minutes.
It will actually start to inspire others. It will actually
trust start to shift the culture. That's what we're really
talking about here. How do we shift the culture when
the culture has made it so that we feel we're
productive and effective when every second of the day is
(08:45):
fully maximized and fully accounted for. Now, I believe in
living an intentional life, but therefore I also believe in
intentional breaks. Getting five minutes every thirty minutes or five
minutes every hour is really stick for each and every
one of us. Study show even brief mindfulness pauses reduce
(09:06):
emotional reactivity and improve focus. So here's what I want
you to do. At any stoplight or right before a meeting,
take three deep breaths and refocus on your senses. You're
no longer carried by the day you actually pilot it.
This is something that I've practiced when I'm in the
back of an uber, before I go into a meeting,
(09:29):
before or after I send an email. If you just
pause at any of these beginnings and ends that naturally
happen throughout the day, before a phone call, after a
phone call, before a zoom call, after a zoom call,
you use these micro moments to just take in three
deep breaths. Let's do it together right now, in through
(09:54):
your nose and out through your mouth. That's your reset.
(10:17):
Notice how your body feels a little more relaxed, your
mind feels a little more at ease, and you don't
have to carve out specific time to do this. You
can actually do this anywhere you are, wherever you are,
at your desk in your home, while you're commuting. It's
a beautiful practice that allows you to slow down. The
(10:40):
way I like to describe it is almost like when
you're watching slow motion footage of something incredible, you realize
that that person felt like they had so much more
time than you thought they did. If you ever watched
a basketball player in slow motion, if you've ever watched
an in slow motion, a musician in slow motion, it
(11:02):
feels like they have so much time. And even if
you've played sport, when you realize you have more time
than you think, you're actually able to do more with it.
But when you're rushed, when you feel you don't have time,
don't we all just make mistakes when you feel you
don't have time. Aren't you more likely to trip over?
Aren't you more likely to forget your wallet at home? On?
(11:23):
You more likely to send the wrong email not change
the subject line. That's what happens when we're rushing. But
when you think you have a little more time, you
actually get to get it right. So I want you
to trick yourself. When you slow down your breath, when
you're breathing deeper, when you're breathing longer, right, when your
(11:45):
breath is less shallow and less fast, you're literally slowing
things down. And what happens when you slow down you
see things more clearly. Why is there a speed limit
on the road? Why is there a different speed limit
on the road. I remember learning that when you have
a thirty miles per hour speed limit, The truth is
(12:06):
because if you hit a child or someone on the
road at thirty three, the difference in those three miles
per hour could be catastrophic for that person. In three miles,
and there's a reason why it's there. Those three miles
could make all the difference. So I'm not asking you
to slow down from thirty three miles to fifteen miles
(12:29):
per hour. I'm saying, what if three breaths just slow
you down by three miles per hour all of a sudden,
You're not leading to a tragic event, to burn out
to exhaustion. You've actually saved yourself. So think about that
and think about how you can just slow down just
a tiny bit. I think we think about being slow
(12:49):
as being stopped right. We think about it as like, oh, yeah,
I just need to stop. I need everything to stop.
It's not real. It'll be great if you can achieve it,
but in reality, we're not going to get there every
day or every week. But these micro moments could change
it for us. Number three, chunk your choices. The human
(13:09):
working memory says that we can just about deal with
seven items at once, and otherwise the overload drops out
decision quality. Here's what I want you to do. If
you're staring at a long to do list, probably over
seven things before your day starts, choose only three tasks
(13:31):
that matter most and block them in your calendar. One
of the reasons why our day feels fast is we're
trying to do a lot with little time, not realizing
that if we tried to do less with a bit
more time, not only would we complete tasks, we would
actually have the ability to move on to the next
(13:51):
You can create clarity amid the noise and win the
morning before it starts. You want to get seven done.
At the end of the day, you realize you only
got four, and then that too with bad quality because
you were rushing. But what if you just got three
done really well, so well that you won't have to
waste time on them in the future. When you've got
four out of seven done or five hours seven done,
(14:12):
they were all done at like sixty percent efforts seventy
percent effort, So you got more done, but actually got
less done because in the long term it was less
effective because you'll have to go backwards and solve the
problem you created. But if you've got three things done
today and ninety percent, all of a sudden, you're cruising
and you can do the same thing tomorrow, doing less
(14:35):
can actually achieve more. Doing less can actually be more
effective than doing more. Doing less can be more productive
than doing more in the long term. But we all
get trapped by this short term thinking, thinking that if
I do more today, if I get more done, then
(14:56):
that will help me in the future, not realizing that well,
if I don't get quality done, the quantity doesn't matter.
Step four is all about single tasking. Science shows that
multitasking reduces efficiency and increases stress. So here's what I
want you to do. When you're working. Silence your notifications,
(15:19):
close your extra tabs, set up a twenty five minute timer,
and work with full focus. I see this often with
someone who's got their laptop and their phone, and maybe
you even have an iPad. You have all these devices,
they're all connected up to personal and professional notifications, and
(15:39):
you're trying to do some deep work. You're working on
a report, you're working on a deck, you're editing something,
and every thirty seconds you have a distraction. One is
from your mom who wants to check in with you
and find out what you ate. The other one is
from a friend who wants a picture that you took
at the weekend. The other is from a colleague who
wants you to reply to the email right now. And
(16:01):
the other is from your friend from three months ago
who's upset with you for not coming to their birthday
and you're trying to write a report. How's that ever
gonna happen? How are you going to respond effectively to
any of those people? The friend from three months ago
who's upset you didn't go to their birthday, you need
to connect with them with some depth and some clarity
because they're upset. You're managing their emotions. The friend who
(16:24):
wants to picture, You're gonna have to go through your
camera roll. This weekend of sixty seven pictures you took
of the same exact pose. But find the one that
they like, you're gonna send them through and they're gonna
be like, no, there was one with the ocean in
the background in this color. There was one where I
was posing this way. All right. Now you've lost a
bunch of time looking for that image. Now you've got
the person who wants you to email back right now,
(16:45):
but you don't even have context of what's happening at work.
We invite distractions when we're trying to do deep work.
If you are truly, honestly trying to do deep work,
you have to leave your phone out of the room,
you have to turn your notifications off, and you have
to be locked in. And the problem with us is
we think we'll achieve more or get more done if
(17:08):
we're always connected. It's the opposite. You get more done
if you're completely disconnected. You get the task done in
less time, with more quality, with more efficiency. If you're
not distracted. All of us are multitasking. Now here's the
interesting thing. Only two percent of the world's population can
(17:31):
effectively multitask. You know. The funny thing is when you
hear that everyone thinks they're in that two percent. But
the truth is most of us are in the ninety
eight percent who can't multitask to save our lives. And
even if you can multitask, you're placing so much stress
on your brain and mind to stretch that far that often.
(17:52):
How can you reduce distractions? How can you reduce everything
when you're focused on a task. When I'm writing my book,
when I'm preparing for these scripts, when I'm factoring this
time in for the podcast, I can't write if I'm
distracted by seven different tabs. Limit it, limit it. You
(18:13):
will achieve so much more in your life. I promise you.
Give it a go. I have so much more to
share with you. But we're just going to take a
short break for our sponsors and I'll be right back. Okay,
we're back. Let's dive right back in step five, posture reset,
(18:35):
mind reset. We've been talking a lot about how the
mind affects the body. We've forgotten how the body affects
the mind. Upright posture raises alertness, positivity, and slouching actually
reduces energy. So every hour, stand tall for thirty seconds,
feel your feet and breathe. I actually do this before
(18:58):
I go on stage. Before I'm going on stage, I've
noticed that I can be nervous. I still get nervous.
We will still get nervous because I care. But if
I slouch, if I close up my body, actually get
more nervous and get more stressed. But when I stand
in Superman post put my hands on my hips, pump
out my chest, all of a sudden, I'm feeling that confidence.
(19:19):
I'm breathing better. It's not some mental trick. It's physicality.
If you're closing up your shoulders, if you're making your
chest smaller, if you're going inward, you're actually making harder
for yourself to breathe. Making harder for yourself to breathe
means less oxygen means less energy. So naturally it works
that way. Change your posture. All of us are sitting
(19:40):
around all day. I'm sitting right now. If you're sitting
in a chair, right now, push back your shoulders right even,
feel your arms wrap around the back of the chair
so you can really push out, even if it's artificial,
and even take your fingers behind your chair and stretch.
Push your shoulders up right now. Notice if the back
of your head is aligned with your spine, or if
(20:02):
the back of your head is actually forward. Doing that
for a few seconds, all of a sudden, you feel
your body shifting, You feel your energy shifting. These are
micro moments to become more present. These are micro moments
to become more conscious, to become in touch with our body.
Sometimes we're so lost in our mind we don't even
know what our body is feeling. How many times have
(20:22):
you had it? Where a week later you go, wait
a minute, why is my ankle? Hey don't even know
what happened? Well, why have I got that backache? What happened?
And then all of a sudden you realize seven days
ago you knocked it on something or something like that,
but you ignored it. Because we're so disconnected from our
bodies and our minds. We have to learn to reconnect
our body and our mind. You will win it life
(20:43):
when your body and mind are in the same place.
You will lose life when your body and mind are
in different places. Because here's what happens. When you're at work,
you're thinking about vacation, and therefore, when you're on vacation,
you're thinking about work. Inert tention bleeds. You can't turn
(21:03):
it on and off. You can't say I don't want
to be present at work and then be present on
vacation because you've trained your mind to be absent. You
can't be abstinent at work and present on vacation, and
you can't be present on vacation and abstinent at work.
If you're present at work, you'll be present on vacation,
and if you're abstinent at work, you'll be absent on vacation.
(21:23):
That's how the mind works. It only knows how to
be where your feet are or not, based on how
you've trained it. Always check in when you walk into
a new space. Practice five four three two one. What
are five things you can see? The shades, the colors,
the shapes. What are four things you can touch? What
(21:45):
you're wearing, the temperatures, the textures. What are three things
you can hear? Distant chatter, white noise, the sound of
your own voice. Two things you can smell, a fragrance
or a flower. And one thing you can taste, maybe
lunch or a mint or whatever it may have been.
All of a sudden, your body and mind are in
the same place. Most of us. We walk into a room,
(22:07):
our mind is still in the last meeting our bodies
in this meeting. We finished that meeting, and your mind goes,
oh gosh, I wasn't even present in that meeting. Now
we're absent in the next meeting, and our bodies in
the next meeting. Right, We're constantly messing around with this
absence and presence. Our mind is absent, our body is present.
Our body is absent, our mind is present. When they're
(22:28):
both present, you actually have a better experience of life.
Haven't you seen that? I'm sure some of you who
have children, who love spending time with your kids, who
love spending time with a family member, love spending time
with your friends. After it finishes, sometimes you think, I
don't even know where I was. Where did the time go?
Is it over all ready? That's because our mind and
body weren't in the same place. When your mind and
(22:50):
body in the same place, you can absorb that moment,
really feel it, and then let it go comfortably. That's
the beauty of it. When you're present, you'll actually let
go happily because you've absorbed the whole moment. But when
you haven't absorbed the whole moment, you're still run to
hold onto it go. I don't want this to end
because you actually haven't been there the whole time. Number six,
(23:12):
use time anchoring to calm your mind. When we mentally
fast forward beyond a stressful moment, we reduce anxiety and
emotional reactivity. So when you're overwhelmed, ask will this matter
in a week? Will this matter in a month? When
(23:33):
you zoom out, it recenters your brain and regulates emotional overreactions.
Now why did this work? You shift from reactive mode
to reflective mode and you reclaim control over your perspective.
I'll tell you why I believe this really does work.
It's because when you're dealing with stress, you've now totally
(23:55):
zoomed in. Have you ever had that? When you go
for a stressful moment in your life, you totally zoom me,
even if it's the smallest thing, and now you turn
that tiny thing into a huge thing, asking a question
like will this matter in a week? Will this matter
in a year? It allows you to zoom out and
actually find balance, so you're not avoiding it. I'm not
telling you to forget about it. I'm not telling you
(24:15):
it's not important. You want to see things as important
as they are. I encourage people to have what I
call a stress scale in their life. Zero is not
stressful at all. Ten is the most stressful you'll ever be. Actually,
think of an event that is the most stressful event ever.
(24:36):
Your family's unwell, maybe someone passes away. Maybe you are
losing your job and you have no money left. Like,
that's ten on a stress scale, Right, I've lost all
my money, I'm broke, i have nothing. What zero for you?
Based on that being the most extreme? What zero for you?
Maybe zero is when I'm hanging out on the weekend
(24:58):
and I've got nothing to think about. Now, when you
stub your toe, is it really a nine or is
it actually a two? Now when you have a difficult
conversation at work, is it really a nine or an
eight or is it actually more like a four? Does
that make sense? When you look at your stress scale
and you know what the worst thing that could ever
(25:19):
happen is, and what the best thing that could ever
happen is, you now look at things in perspective. The
biggest challenge for us is when we don't zoom out
and look at life that way. Everything feels like a ten.
Everything feels like a ten. All day you missed the bus,
it's a ten. You miss the train, it's a ten.
You had a falling out with a friend, it's a ten.
Everything in our life will feel like a ten if
(25:42):
we don't have this stress scale and we've realized what
a ten actually is. Losing my job or losing someone
I love, having no money, being broke, that's a ten.
That's worth my stress. But actually everything up until then
is probably a five or six. All of a sudden,
I can deal with it for what it's worth. I'm
not telling you stress isn't valid. I'm not telling you
(26:02):
that you don't have real stress in your life. What
I'm saying is you want to deal with it for
what it's worth. Right. A doctor would never treat a
stub toe in the same way as they treat a
broken foot. You just don't treat them in the same way.
But we, in our mind make a stub toe feel
like a broken foot, and that's where our stress comes from.
(26:26):
That's what creates more anxiety, more tension, and more pressure
because everything feels like a ten. If you take one
thing away from this episode, I want it to be that,
do not forget that stress scale. Make sure you're really
clear on it. Number seven Switch tasks with a ritual,
not a rush. The brain takes up to twenty five
(26:48):
minutes to fully refocus and switch tasks. So if you're
going to refocus, you're not going to be able to
do it immediately. If you want to go from a
numbers meeting to a creative meeting, your brain is going
to take twenty five minutes to figure that out. If
you want to go from a tactical meeting and a
strategic meeting to a free flowing brainstorm, it's going to
(27:09):
take twenty minutes to figure out. Rituals help the brain
reset faster, and this is research from Harvard Business. Before
switching tasks, especially from work to personal as well, even
coming home, create a micro ritual. Maybe you light a candle,
maybe you stretch, maybe you put on some music. Think
(27:31):
about that. Even when you come home, it can take
you twenty five minutes for your brain to switch from
work to personal. That's why sometimes the commute is healthy.
I think one of the challenges that working from home
broad around is that we actually don't get that twenty
five minutes the commute in the morning allowed you to
switch from being at home to being at work, and
(27:53):
the commute home from work allowed you to switch from
being at work to being at home today. You walk
up or down the stairs, you walk in and out
of a room, and you're meant to be at home.
So all of a sudden, when your partner says to you, hey,
what are we doing this weekend? You're still thinking about
the meeting. Your partner says to your way, you didn't
do this for the kids, Yeah, you got to take
them out. You're still thinking about the meeting. You walk
(28:15):
into work and someone says to you, hey, if you
got the report on my deskin, You're thinking, wait a minute,
I just put my kid's clothes on and like give
them a shower. Like, you know, where are we at now? Right?
So our brain doesn't even have the time to get
to where we are. So now we need rituals to
signal to your nervous system that it's safe to switch gears.
(28:36):
So what you need to do is allow yourself to
have a ritual. That could be a word you say,
maybe it's a scent from a candle, and this is
how I like to think about it. Rituals are sight
things you can see, scent things you can smell, and
sound things you can hear. You walk into your workplace
and you have music that feels like work. You walk
(28:59):
into your and you have music that feels like home.
You walk into your workplace and you have a scent
that reminds you of work. You walk into your home
and you have a scent that reminds you of personal
casual life and a site. You walk into your office,
you see a quote on the wall that inspires you.
You walk into your home area, you see a picture
of a family that relaxes you. You can use site, scent,
(29:22):
and sound to act as rituals for transitioning between things.
Number eight. Narrate what you're doing out loud in your head.
Naming your present actions grounds you in the moment and
interrupts autopilot behavior. Try this while washing dishes, brushing your teeth,
(29:42):
or even walking. I'm brushing my teeth, I feel the water,
I'm noticing the mint. I'm right here. You pull your
attention out of spiraling thoughts and anchor it in your senses,
instantly increasing presence. Become a narrator of your life. Talking
things out loud actually gets them off your chest and
(30:03):
out of your mind. Where we feel so much stress.
Have you ever had that stress? Makes you feel tight chested,
it makes you feel heavy headed. When you talk it out,
you get it out of yourself. Remember you don't need
to escape your life to find presence. You just need
to choose it minute by minute, moment by moment, or
slow down and discover how much calmer, clearer, and stronger
(30:27):
you can feel even on your craziest day. Thank you
so much for listening. I'm so glad you joined me.
Pass this on to someone who lives a busy, hectic life,
and I hope I'll see you here again soon. Take care.
If you love this podcast, you love my episode with
Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should
stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be
(30:52):
more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss
it like. It's not about being perfect. It's about just
every day, one step at the time, trying to be better,
try to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself.
I had to break myself down in order to be
able to be better.
Host
Jay Shetty
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