September 12, 2025 • 23 mins
Do you find it hard to decide?
What usually makes it hard for you?
Today, Jay dives into two of the biggest roadblocks that keep us from living the life we want: overthinking and procrastination. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck on a decision for weeks, second-guessing every choice, or waiting for the “perfect” moment to act, you’re not alone. Jay reminds us that chasing absolute certainty, readiness, or approval often leaves us standing still. The reality is, confidence comes from taking action, not the other way around, and real transformation rarely feels comfortable.
Jay breaks down the seven steps to making smarter, faster, and more aligned decisions. You’ll learn to protect your mental energy by reducing decision fatigue, sort decisions so you stop treating small choices like life-or-death moments, and learn to trust your emotions before engaging logic. Jay introduces practical tools like the 10/10/10 game to shift your focus from short-term impulses to long-term clarity, regret simulations that guide you to choose integrity over fear, and identity questions that align your decisions with the person you want to become. Above all, Jay shows that the quickest way to reduce anxiety is not certainty, but action.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How to Clear the Mental Clutter to Make Better Decisions
How to Tell the Difference Between Big & Small Decisions
How to Trust Your First Instinct Without Regret
How to Stop Letting Fear Make Your Choices
How to Stop Hesitating and Start Moving Forward
No matter what decision is weighing on you right now, remember this: indecision is still a decision, and staying stuck costs more than trying and getting it wrong. Take the next step, not when you’re ready, but so you can be ready.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Introduction
01:13 Stop Overthinking, Catch The Noise!
03:38 How Often Do You Make Decisions?
06:08 Tip: Make Big Decisions Early In The Day
07:23 Label Decisions Based On Importance
13:32 Feel First Then Think
16:20 Label Your Emotions & Decide With Clarity
17:54 10-10-10 Rule
18:57 Regret Simulation
20:27 The 3 Identity Questions
21:50 Decide Then Move Forward
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Stop waiting till you're perfect, Just start. Stop waiting to
feel certain, progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till you feel ready.
Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting till they approve.
Most people are too scared to even try. Stop waiting
(00:24):
for it to be easy. What transforms you really is
the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety, Jay
Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to
On Purpose. If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe.
(00:45):
It makes a huge difference to us and it makes
sure you never miss an episode. If you want to
build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that
come up in the world we live in. If you
want to make sure that you have habits to transform
your life, if you want to make sure that you
have the inner world going in the same direction as
(01:08):
your outer world, this is the place to be. Now.
How many of you overthink, how many of you procrastinate,
and how many of you keep going round and round
in circles with the same thoughts. If you said yes
to any of those, this episode is for you. It's
(01:31):
all about creating a clear mind and how to make
better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer.
I think all of us are struggling in our lives
with overthinking. We're overwhelmed with the amount of information. We're
overwhelmed with the amount of choice. We're inundated with insight data.
(01:54):
We're being sold to. Our attention is being farmed right.
People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention,
whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are,
and so making better decisions has become harder. This episode
is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter, and
better and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking, and
(02:19):
wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference.
Let's dive in. Step one is catch the noise. You
don't have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem.
Before we decide, we ruminate, we spiral, we crowdsource, we overthink.
(02:43):
But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality
by up to twenty five percent due to something known
as decision fatigue. Now, what is decision fatigue? You might
be wondering. Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain
(03:03):
resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row.
The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes.
This is because every decision, big or small, draws from
a limited pool of mental energy. This is a concept
backed by ego depletion theory. Once that pool is drained,
(03:26):
your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing. I'm sure
you can relate, or impulse choosing the easiest or most
familiar option. Now think about that for a second. How
often do you make so many decisions? From the moment
you wake up, You're thinking about what to wear, what
to eat, what you're gonna do tonight, what you're going
(03:47):
to watch, all the different tasks you have to get
through today, packing the kid's lunch. Right, You've got a
million tasks, a million things to think about. By the
end of the day, what happens, you just want to
do nothing right, You want to get nothing done all.
What happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you
regret later. In one study, participants who are forced to
(04:11):
make many small decisions like choosing products, designs, or preferences
later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self control. Now
that's what I love about this topic. It affects all
parts of your life, your thinking. The issue is you
don't have willpower your thinking. The issue is you don't
(04:32):
have self control. The truth is, when you've become exhausted
from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power.
It's a decision making problem. It's not a drive or
will problem. What this study shows is that over deliberation
isn't just mentally exhausting. It actively reduces your ability to
(04:56):
think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar.
That's actually one of the reason people like Steve Jobs,
Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing
the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions.
(05:17):
They've even found in studies that judges in courts were
found to give more favorable rulings early in the day
after many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled
to give favorable rulings. Now, how does this affect you?
Every should I adds up, every let me think one
(05:40):
more time drains fuel. So when you deliberate excessively, you
think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment.
That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed.
It's the one made with a clear, rested mind. It's
why we say things like let me sleep on it,
(06:03):
because that clarity that rest helps you make a better decision.
Now here's an action tip. Protect decision making energy by
making big decisions early in the day. A lot of
us start by making our small decisions, as opposed to
focusing on the big ones. When you waste a lot
of energy and all the small decisions, you've run out
(06:23):
of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities.
So batch the small decisions meals, clothes roots to take.
Do it the night before, do it a week in advance.
Also use pre made criteria. If X, then I always do. Why.
Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years. Stop
(06:48):
overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared.
Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look
out for you. Stop overthinking your path just because it
doesn't look like theirs. Stop overthinking the past when your
(07:09):
future is trying to get your focus. Stop overthinking all
of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the
quality of your life. Step two, label the type of decision.
Not all decisions deserve the same energy. That's a quote
(07:30):
from Jeff Bezos. And here I want to introduce you
to what's known as type one versus type two framework
for decision making. Type one is if a decision is
irreversible and high stakes, think deeply. A Type two decision
is something that's reversible and low stakes, decide fast. Let
(07:55):
me say that again. If something is irreversible and high stakes,
think deeply. If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster.
Most people treat every decision in life like life or death.
That's how they get paralyzed. Right. Most of us think
(08:17):
this decision will defire my entire life, when in reality,
you can apply for a new job, you can quit
this job, you can look for other work, you will
find another manager. These are all options, but our mind
makes us feel like there are only two either survive
(08:38):
or die. And as soon as your brain puts that
pressure onto you, what happens. You get paralyzed. You stop
having the ability to make a healthier decision knowing that
there are always more than two options. For example, let's
say you're not enjoying your work. Let's say you're not
(08:58):
doing something you're passionate about. In your head, you think
there are two options. I either stay here and hate it,
or I leave and I fail. You don't think about
the third option. Maybe I should build a new skill.
Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile, Maybe I should
update my resume. Maybe I should start a side hustle.
(09:20):
These are all opportunities and options that we don't even
consider because we think there are only two options. When
we realize that most things are reversible and most things
are not that high states, we actually expand our worldview.
Here's a mini action for you. Ask yourself, if I
(09:40):
choose wrong, can I recover? If yes, then act, If no,
then investigate further. Most people treat type two decisions like
type one decisions. Decisions that are reversible and low states.
We treat them as irreversible and high states. When we
(10:02):
treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster. Right,
choosing who to marry is a type one decision. It's
high stakes, and even though it is reversible, it's something
that's challenging to reverse. So it becomes a disaster if
we act fast and we don't think about it, and
(10:23):
I've already talked about how we do the opposite, spend
more time on the few choices that matter and stop
wasting brain power on what doesn't. I also want to
share with you something that I really came across when
I was at university. I realized you needed seventy percent
to get a first class degree. Seventy percent, so that
(10:45):
means somebody got seventy percent and somebody got ninety nine
percent ended up with the same grade of getting a
first class. Sixty to seventy in England was a two
to one, fifty to sixty was a two to two,
and anything below that was a three. And so when
you think about that, a lot of us are trying
to be at ninety nine when all we need to
(11:06):
do is be at seventy now. Jeff Bezos also shares this,
most decisions should probably made with around seventy percent of
the information you wish you had. If you wait for
ninety percent, in most cases, you're probably being slow. This
is a really important thing to remember because in the
(11:27):
process of wanting to be ninety percent perfect, we end
up not even starting. And this ties into satisficing. A
concept in decision theory that says good enough is often
better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed
(11:48):
creates momentum. I want to give you a real life example.
This is a real Amazon example. In Amazon's early days,
choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type decision.
If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it.
But building Amazon Web services, that's a type one decision.
(12:11):
This required full commitment and long term thinking. Bezos taught
his team be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles.
Here's the practical application for you. Ask these three questions.
If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent?
(12:33):
Can I test this on a small scale before going
all in? And here's a bonus thought. The enemy of
speed is not caution, it's confusion. This Bezos framework isn't
just about fast versus slow. It's about clarity. Knowing what
kind of decision you're making is the first decision you
(12:54):
should make. Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start. Stop
waiting to feel certain. Progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till
you feel ready. Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting
till they approve. Most people are too scared to even
(13:17):
try stop waiting till you have more time. You make
time for what matters. Stop waiting for it to be easy.
What transforms you really is Step three. Feel first, then
(13:52):
think Now might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me. One
of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Dimascio. He said,
we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically. This
idea from Antonio Domasio is one of the most powerful
and underacknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions. Let's
(14:17):
break it down now. Doctor Antonio Domacio is a renowned neuroscientist.
His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential
for rational decision making, a direct challenge to the old
school belief that logic alone leads to better choices. His
groundbreaking book Descartes Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving we
(14:43):
are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines
that think. Now. Here's the science. Demassio studied patients with
damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the
brain that connect emotional processing with rational thinking. These patients
(15:05):
had normal IQ. They could reason and analyze logically, but
couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what
to wear, or which pen to use. They were emotionally numb.
As a result, their decision making broke down completely. His conclusion,
Without emotion, logic stores emotion isn't noise, it's navigation. Here's
(15:32):
what this really means in real life. You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt.
Then your brain builds a logical story to support or
justify that feeling. Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job,
so you build a logical case like the market's unstable
(15:56):
or this isn't the right time. But deep down your
head visitation might be emotional fear of failure, fear of judgment,
fear of losing identity. The logic is the cover, the
emotion is the compass. Feel first, then think clearly. If
(16:18):
you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional.
So here's how to use this insight. This is a
three step emotion check in before big decisions. Name the
dominant emotion you're feeling. Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy,
(16:40):
and then ask is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by
past wounds? Then engage logic. Now you're making decisions from wholeness,
not habit, So to me, asking that question what emotion
is driving this decision and naming it fear, guilt, love, ego?
(17:04):
Then asking is that emotion trustworthy right now? Will save
you so much. I'll give an example. If someone hurts
me and I'm thinking about hurting them back. If I
ask myself where's that coming from, it's coming from revenge.
Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion? Probably not
(17:24):
so how I want to behave and how I want
to act, Maybe something I regret. Don't ignore your intuition.
Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom.
Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no.
(17:47):
Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system
already gave you an answer. Stop pretending you don't know
when you've known all alone. Step four play the ten
ten ten game. Most regrets aren't from what we choose,
(18:08):
but from not zooming out. That's from Susie Welch's ten
ten ten rule. Ask yourself, how will I feel about
this in ten minutes? How will I feel about this
in ten months? How will I feel about this? In
ten years. This activates the door selateral prefrontal cortex, the
(18:31):
part of the brain responsible for long term thinking, basically
reducing impulsive errors. Here's a mini action voice record yourself
answering those three questions. Don't write, speak Speaking activates deeper truth.
It's a great way of asking yourself. Am I wasting time?
(18:53):
Am I focusing on the wrong thing? Am I overreacting
to this situation? Will this matter in ten minutes? Will
this matter in ten months? Will this matter in ten years?
Step five create a regret simulation. There's a famous quote
that says, fear of future regret warps present choices. We
(19:16):
wrongly fear regret before we decide, but Harvard research shows
that predicted regret is often exaggerated. Regret feels real. But
it's a simulation. We have to use it deliberately, not reactively.
Imagine both paths. Ask yourself, If I choose this and
(19:40):
it fails, will I respect who I become? Anyway? What
a great question. If I choose this and it fails,
will I respect who I became? Anyway? That's your real
north star, your integrity, not your outcome. Stop aiming for
(20:00):
a perfect life, Aim for a life you're proud to remember.
Stop holding back just to stay safe. Safety won't comfort
you at eighty. Stop letting fear make your decisions. It's
not the one who has to live with them. Stop
(20:21):
asking what if it goes wrong? Ask what if I
never tried? Stop replaying the past and use that energy
to create a better now. Step number six, ask the
three identity questions. Don't ask what's smart, ask what's in alignment.
(20:44):
Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain,
but Vadic wisdom teaches that the right action is the
one aligned with your deeper purpose. So ask what kind
of person do I want to become? Which decision reflects
(21:06):
that version of me? What am I willing to lose
to protect that? And you can write down your future
self in three bullet points and make your choices them
not as the current you. Deciding who you become is
the most important decision you'll ever make. But most of
(21:27):
us decide what we want. We decide what we desire.
We don't decide who we dream to be. We don't
desire with skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only
results we want to see. I hope this is your
reminder that whether you have the dream job or not,
(21:48):
whether you have the dream life or not, that you're
becoming the person you want to be that is ready
to receive what you deserve. Step number seven, Decide, then move.
The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision. The
brain's anterior singular cortex hates uncertainty. That's why indecision feels
(22:12):
like anxiety. Action reduces anxiety, not certainty. Once you choose,
do something physical within five minutes, call the person, send
the email, book that ticket, cancel that plan. Remember, action
(22:33):
conquers anxiety, not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring
it all out, actually moving forward. I hope these seven
steps help you towards making better decisions in your life,
overcoming overthinking, and overcoming procrastination. And I'll see you here
on another episode of On Purpose. Make sure you tag
(22:54):
me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of
the insights that you're gaining. And remember, I'm forever in
your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you
love this episode, you love my conversation with doctor Joe
Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart,
and how to change your habits that are on autopilot.
(23:16):
Listen to it right now. How many times do we
have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering,
that's the moment of change. One cares how many times
you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle,
Now you ride the bike.
Stop waiting till you're perfect, Just start. Stop waiting to
feel certain, progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till you feel ready.
Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting till they approve.
Most people are too scared to even try. Stop waiting
(00:24):
for it to be easy. What transforms you really is
the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety, Jay
Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to
On Purpose. If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe.
(00:45):
It makes a huge difference to us and it makes
sure you never miss an episode. If you want to
build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that
come up in the world we live in. If you
want to make sure that you have habits to transform
your life, if you want to make sure that you
have the inner world going in the same direction as
(01:08):
your outer world, this is the place to be. Now.
How many of you overthink, how many of you procrastinate,
and how many of you keep going round and round
in circles with the same thoughts. If you said yes
to any of those, this episode is for you. It's
(01:31):
all about creating a clear mind and how to make
better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer.
I think all of us are struggling in our lives
with overthinking. We're overwhelmed with the amount of information. We're
overwhelmed with the amount of choice. We're inundated with insight data.
(01:54):
We're being sold to. Our attention is being farmed right.
People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention,
whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are,
and so making better decisions has become harder. This episode
is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter, and
better and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking, and
(02:19):
wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference.
Let's dive in. Step one is catch the noise. You
don't have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem.
Before we decide, we ruminate, we spiral, we crowdsource, we overthink.
(02:43):
But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality
by up to twenty five percent due to something known
as decision fatigue. Now, what is decision fatigue? You might
be wondering. Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain
(03:03):
resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row.
The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes.
This is because every decision, big or small, draws from
a limited pool of mental energy. This is a concept
backed by ego depletion theory. Once that pool is drained,
(03:26):
your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing. I'm sure
you can relate, or impulse choosing the easiest or most
familiar option. Now think about that for a second. How
often do you make so many decisions? From the moment
you wake up, You're thinking about what to wear, what
to eat, what you're gonna do tonight, what you're going
(03:47):
to watch, all the different tasks you have to get
through today, packing the kid's lunch. Right, You've got a
million tasks, a million things to think about. By the
end of the day, what happens, you just want to
do nothing right, You want to get nothing done all.
What happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you
regret later. In one study, participants who are forced to
(04:11):
make many small decisions like choosing products, designs, or preferences
later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self control. Now
that's what I love about this topic. It affects all
parts of your life, your thinking. The issue is you
don't have willpower your thinking. The issue is you don't
(04:32):
have self control. The truth is, when you've become exhausted
from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power.
It's a decision making problem. It's not a drive or
will problem. What this study shows is that over deliberation
isn't just mentally exhausting. It actively reduces your ability to
(04:56):
think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar.
That's actually one of the reason people like Steve Jobs,
Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing
the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions.
(05:17):
They've even found in studies that judges in courts were
found to give more favorable rulings early in the day
after many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled
to give favorable rulings. Now, how does this affect you?
Every should I adds up, every let me think one
(05:40):
more time drains fuel. So when you deliberate excessively, you
think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment.
That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed.
It's the one made with a clear, rested mind. It's
why we say things like let me sleep on it,
(06:03):
because that clarity that rest helps you make a better decision.
Now here's an action tip. Protect decision making energy by
making big decisions early in the day. A lot of
us start by making our small decisions, as opposed to
focusing on the big ones. When you waste a lot
of energy and all the small decisions, you've run out
(06:23):
of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities.
So batch the small decisions meals, clothes roots to take.
Do it the night before, do it a week in advance.
Also use pre made criteria. If X, then I always do. Why.
Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years. Stop
(06:48):
overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared.
Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look
out for you. Stop overthinking your path just because it
doesn't look like theirs. Stop overthinking the past when your
(07:09):
future is trying to get your focus. Stop overthinking all
of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the
quality of your life. Step two, label the type of decision.
Not all decisions deserve the same energy. That's a quote
(07:30):
from Jeff Bezos. And here I want to introduce you
to what's known as type one versus type two framework
for decision making. Type one is if a decision is
irreversible and high stakes, think deeply. A Type two decision
is something that's reversible and low stakes, decide fast. Let
(07:55):
me say that again. If something is irreversible and high stakes,
think deeply. If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster.
Most people treat every decision in life like life or death.
That's how they get paralyzed. Right. Most of us think
(08:17):
this decision will defire my entire life, when in reality,
you can apply for a new job, you can quit
this job, you can look for other work, you will
find another manager. These are all options, but our mind
makes us feel like there are only two either survive
(08:38):
or die. And as soon as your brain puts that
pressure onto you, what happens. You get paralyzed. You stop
having the ability to make a healthier decision knowing that
there are always more than two options. For example, let's
say you're not enjoying your work. Let's say you're not
(08:58):
doing something you're passionate about. In your head, you think
there are two options. I either stay here and hate it,
or I leave and I fail. You don't think about
the third option. Maybe I should build a new skill.
Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile, Maybe I should
update my resume. Maybe I should start a side hustle.
(09:20):
These are all opportunities and options that we don't even
consider because we think there are only two options. When
we realize that most things are reversible and most things
are not that high states, we actually expand our worldview.
Here's a mini action for you. Ask yourself, if I
(09:40):
choose wrong, can I recover? If yes, then act, If no,
then investigate further. Most people treat type two decisions like
type one decisions. Decisions that are reversible and low states.
We treat them as irreversible and high states. When we
(10:02):
treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster. Right,
choosing who to marry is a type one decision. It's
high stakes, and even though it is reversible, it's something
that's challenging to reverse. So it becomes a disaster if
we act fast and we don't think about it, and
(10:23):
I've already talked about how we do the opposite, spend
more time on the few choices that matter and stop
wasting brain power on what doesn't. I also want to
share with you something that I really came across when
I was at university. I realized you needed seventy percent
to get a first class degree. Seventy percent, so that
(10:45):
means somebody got seventy percent and somebody got ninety nine
percent ended up with the same grade of getting a
first class. Sixty to seventy in England was a two
to one, fifty to sixty was a two to two,
and anything below that was a three. And so when
you think about that, a lot of us are trying
to be at ninety nine when all we need to
(11:06):
do is be at seventy now. Jeff Bezos also shares this,
most decisions should probably made with around seventy percent of
the information you wish you had. If you wait for
ninety percent, in most cases, you're probably being slow. This
is a really important thing to remember because in the
(11:27):
process of wanting to be ninety percent perfect, we end
up not even starting. And this ties into satisficing. A
concept in decision theory that says good enough is often
better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed
(11:48):
creates momentum. I want to give you a real life example.
This is a real Amazon example. In Amazon's early days,
choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type decision.
If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it.
But building Amazon Web services, that's a type one decision.
(12:11):
This required full commitment and long term thinking. Bezos taught
his team be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles.
Here's the practical application for you. Ask these three questions.
If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent?
(12:33):
Can I test this on a small scale before going
all in? And here's a bonus thought. The enemy of
speed is not caution, it's confusion. This Bezos framework isn't
just about fast versus slow. It's about clarity. Knowing what
kind of decision you're making is the first decision you
(12:54):
should make. Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start. Stop
waiting to feel certain. Progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till
you feel ready. Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting
till they approve. Most people are too scared to even
(13:17):
try stop waiting till you have more time. You make
time for what matters. Stop waiting for it to be easy.
What transforms you really is Step three. Feel first, then
(13:52):
think Now might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me. One
of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Dimascio. He said,
we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically. This
idea from Antonio Domasio is one of the most powerful
and underacknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions. Let's
(14:17):
break it down now. Doctor Antonio Domacio is a renowned neuroscientist.
His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential
for rational decision making, a direct challenge to the old
school belief that logic alone leads to better choices. His
groundbreaking book Descartes Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving we
(14:43):
are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines
that think. Now. Here's the science. Demassio studied patients with
damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the
brain that connect emotional processing with rational thinking. These patients
(15:05):
had normal IQ. They could reason and analyze logically, but
couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what
to wear, or which pen to use. They were emotionally numb.
As a result, their decision making broke down completely. His conclusion,
Without emotion, logic stores emotion isn't noise, it's navigation. Here's
(15:32):
what this really means in real life. You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt.
Then your brain builds a logical story to support or
justify that feeling. Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job,
so you build a logical case like the market's unstable
(15:56):
or this isn't the right time. But deep down your
head visitation might be emotional fear of failure, fear of judgment,
fear of losing identity. The logic is the cover, the
emotion is the compass. Feel first, then think clearly. If
(16:18):
you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional.
So here's how to use this insight. This is a
three step emotion check in before big decisions. Name the
dominant emotion you're feeling. Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy,
(16:40):
and then ask is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by
past wounds? Then engage logic. Now you're making decisions from wholeness,
not habit, So to me, asking that question what emotion
is driving this decision and naming it fear, guilt, love, ego?
(17:04):
Then asking is that emotion trustworthy right now? Will save
you so much. I'll give an example. If someone hurts
me and I'm thinking about hurting them back. If I
ask myself where's that coming from, it's coming from revenge.
Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion? Probably not
(17:24):
so how I want to behave and how I want
to act, Maybe something I regret. Don't ignore your intuition.
Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom.
Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no.
(17:47):
Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system
already gave you an answer. Stop pretending you don't know
when you've known all alone. Step four play the ten
ten ten game. Most regrets aren't from what we choose,
(18:08):
but from not zooming out. That's from Susie Welch's ten
ten ten rule. Ask yourself, how will I feel about
this in ten minutes? How will I feel about this
in ten months? How will I feel about this? In
ten years. This activates the door selateral prefrontal cortex, the
(18:31):
part of the brain responsible for long term thinking, basically
reducing impulsive errors. Here's a mini action voice record yourself
answering those three questions. Don't write, speak Speaking activates deeper truth.
It's a great way of asking yourself. Am I wasting time?
(18:53):
Am I focusing on the wrong thing? Am I overreacting
to this situation? Will this matter in ten minutes? Will
this matter in ten months? Will this matter in ten years?
Step five create a regret simulation. There's a famous quote
that says, fear of future regret warps present choices. We
(19:16):
wrongly fear regret before we decide, but Harvard research shows
that predicted regret is often exaggerated. Regret feels real. But
it's a simulation. We have to use it deliberately, not reactively.
Imagine both paths. Ask yourself, If I choose this and
(19:40):
it fails, will I respect who I become? Anyway? What
a great question. If I choose this and it fails,
will I respect who I became? Anyway? That's your real
north star, your integrity, not your outcome. Stop aiming for
(20:00):
a perfect life, Aim for a life you're proud to remember.
Stop holding back just to stay safe. Safety won't comfort
you at eighty. Stop letting fear make your decisions. It's
not the one who has to live with them. Stop
(20:21):
asking what if it goes wrong? Ask what if I
never tried? Stop replaying the past and use that energy
to create a better now. Step number six, ask the
three identity questions. Don't ask what's smart, ask what's in alignment.
(20:44):
Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain,
but Vadic wisdom teaches that the right action is the
one aligned with your deeper purpose. So ask what kind
of person do I want to become? Which decision reflects
(21:06):
that version of me? What am I willing to lose
to protect that? And you can write down your future
self in three bullet points and make your choices them
not as the current you. Deciding who you become is
the most important decision you'll ever make. But most of
(21:27):
us decide what we want. We decide what we desire.
We don't decide who we dream to be. We don't
desire with skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only
results we want to see. I hope this is your
reminder that whether you have the dream job or not,
(21:48):
whether you have the dream life or not, that you're
becoming the person you want to be that is ready
to receive what you deserve. Step number seven, Decide, then move.
The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision. The
brain's anterior singular cortex hates uncertainty. That's why indecision feels
(22:12):
like anxiety. Action reduces anxiety, not certainty. Once you choose,
do something physical within five minutes, call the person, send
the email, book that ticket, cancel that plan. Remember, action
(22:33):
conquers anxiety, not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring
it all out, actually moving forward. I hope these seven
steps help you towards making better decisions in your life,
overcoming overthinking, and overcoming procrastination. And I'll see you here
on another episode of On Purpose. Make sure you tag
(22:54):
me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of
the insights that you're gaining. And remember, I'm forever in
your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you
love this episode, you love my conversation with doctor Joe
Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart,
and how to change your habits that are on autopilot.
(23:16):
Listen to it right now. How many times do we
have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering,
that's the moment of change. One cares how many times
you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle,
Now you ride the bike.
Host
Jay Shetty
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