Neuroscientist Emily McDonald: #1 Science-Based Hack to Rewire Your Brain to ACTUALLY Manifest the Life You Want

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The big reason why a lot of people stay stuck
is that we are actually subconsciously afraid of what it
might look like if we succeed at doing it. Get
specific about your goals, but get specific about your fears.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
come to listen, learn and grow and become happier, healthier,
and more healed. Today's guest is Emily McDonald, neuroscientist and
founder of Mindcraft Neuroscience back tools to rewire your brain
and master your reality. Emily shares how understanding the brain
can help you break free from limiting patterns, manage your

(00:35):
emotions more effectively, and consciously create the life you want.
This conversation will help you see how real change starts
from within and how rewiring your brain can transform your reality.
Please welcome to on Purpose, Emily McDonald. Emily, it's great
to have you here.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
It's so amazing to be here. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I love following you on social media. I feel like
I learned so much. I have so many friends who
live and swear by your page, and so have you
here now is awesome. And again, congratulations and all your success.
I know you just got engaged as well, So thank
you congratulations on that is wonderful to meet your fiance.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah. Yeah, but let's start straight in.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
If someone was to listen to our conversation today and
apply the things you have to say, how would their
life change.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
I'd like to say that it can and will change
in every single aspect that you apply it to. I
think that And you know, actually, one of my students
in Mindecraft she joined a few months ago and she
I asked her, I said, in which ways do you
think that your life has changed since joining? And she said,
every single aspect of her life has changed. And I

(01:42):
think that the principles that I teach and I coach
on and that I practice, I think they really can
be applied to every single area of your life. So yeah,
I think it just depends on you and what you
choose and what you intend, right, So it's all about
intention there, and it's like if you want to apply
to relationships, you can, but also just being more in

(02:04):
control of your brain. I like to make the analogy
of if you are driving a car down the road
and you don't know how that car works, if it
breaks down, you don't know how to fix it. You'll
be stuck there, right. And I have a story of
like my car breaking down. My brother, Luckily he's a
mechanical engineer, and I called him. He's like, oh, poor
water in this oneman hole or whatever, and I could

(02:25):
be on my merry way. Right, I got home safely.
But if you don't know how and the brain works
the same way, right, So let's say you're stressed out,
or you are overwhelmed, or you're struggling to focus or
whatever it is. If you don't know how your brain works,
you might be stuck. But when you know how your
brain works, you can then use that knowledge and apply
it to whatever area you're really struggling with. So that

(02:46):
I think that it really can be applied to many
different areas of your life.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, yeah, I love that analogy. I've had many a
time in my life a car that's broken down on me.
Not been a mechanical engineer. Yeah, I pushed my car up.
And that's what it sometimes feels like for people. I
feel like people feel that they're fighting against their brain,
they're breaking down their mind, they're trying to push forward,

(03:11):
and they just feel stuck. I feel like so many
people listening right now feel stuck in their job, they
feel stuck in a bad relationship, they feel stuck looking
for a career. If someone feels stuck, what do they
need to understand about the brain in order to start
the process to get unstuck.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah, So I think that feeling of being stuck, it's
really quite natural. When you think about neuroscience and your biology.
The brain loves to keep you in what is safe
and normal to you. The brain is also, I like
to call it a prediction machine, So we don't necessarily
experience reality. We experience, you know, our brains sort of

(03:51):
filtering everything we see here feel touched, but also predicting
what's about to happen. And that's why a lot of times,
you know, we feel like anxious or whatever it is,
it has to do with the brain's predicting kind of
something that's upcoming. And so I think that feeling of
being stuck is quite normal and natural. And I just
want to say that first. But also understanding which area

(04:12):
you're stuck in, right, And I'm going to take it
an interesting direction right now, but I like to talk
about procrastination because it's a good example of feeling stuck. Right, So,
if you are. Let's say you have a goal and
you're like, like starting a podcast, and you're like, Okay,
I want to do it, and then you're procrastinating it. Right,
So I always say that there are three reasons why

(04:33):
people procrastinate, and the first reason is there's an identity
sort of mismatch. And what I mean by that is
that you don't like your sense of self and who
you believe that you are doesn't match with you working
toward the goal of launching a podcast. And this actually
kind of resonated with me personally whenever I was starting

(04:53):
to write a book. I was procrastinating writing my book,
and I was like, why am I doing this? I
know it's a goal, I know I want to do it,
but I don't know why I'm procross And the default
mode network in the brain is really what's at play here.
So the default mode network is really appropriately named because
it kind of helps to regulate and propel our default
mode of behavior. Right, So it's responsible for our default

(05:15):
mode of being and doing, but it's also responsible for
our sense of self and constructing the narrative or the
story of our lives. And so if your sense of
self doesn't match if your identity doesn't match whatever it
is that you're trying to do, then your default mode
network is not really going to be helping you do

(05:35):
the behaviors or take the action toward starting a podcast.
And so I always tell my clients, I tell my students,
I tell everyone on social media, and like, just identity shift,
you know, like shift your identity. You can just start
to identify as the version of you who has done
the thing. And so that's kind of the first part
of that, and then the second.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
That's so interesting.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
That's so interesting, And I love the way you broke
down the default mode network because this identity mismatch that
you're talking about. Are you saying that if you don't
I know, you've said something which I love you said.
Science says you have to act like you already have it. Yeah,
before something can happen. Is that what you're saying that
You've got to feel like I'm already an author, I'm

(06:19):
already a podcaster. How does someone practically apply that identity
to make sure it's aligned?

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Right? So it's really just choosing to identify as that person, right.
And so when I say that you have to act
like you already have it, or like you already are
it in order to do it or be it works
the same way. The analogy I use there is falling
asleep at night. Like when you fall asleep at night,
you lay down, you close your eyes, you slow your breath,
and you pretend like you're asleep until you fall asleep,
and your brain makes it so. And life works that

(06:47):
way as well, and you have to act like it
and move like it, right, Like you're not going to
become a drummer in a band unless you act like
a drummer, and drummer's practice. And so it's sort of
like and so how do I apply that like practically,
I guess from my book example, I really just decided
I'm an author, Like from this moment forward, I'm an author.

(07:07):
And I think a lot of times we don't realize
the power that we have to choose those sorts of things.
And this is another reason why I tell people to
be so careful about the labels that they use to
identify themselves and the labels that they put on themselves.
And growing up in my own life, I had so
many different labels put onto me that I believed and
just kind of allowed to describe who I was, and

(07:28):
that impacted my life, it impacted my health, it impacted
everything in my world. And so that's one of the
reasons why I'm so passionate about it. But yeah, and
so applying that practically a lot of times, it really
just looks like choosing to identify as that version of you.
Like if I'm trying to start a podcast, I am
a podcaster, and there I am doing.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
It right, almost like how does an author behave? And
let me start practice? Right, So an author gets up
and write a page even when they don't feel inspired,
because that's how they get for example, right, or like
a podcast that sits down and you just start interviewing
the people that are available until you're able to book
the guests that you really want to speak to.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Right, exactly exactly, And when that happens when you choose,
when you write a new what happens then is that
you're writing a new story and your brain kind of
stops using your past to predict your future and it
kind of starts to take the present moment and your
new identity that you are choosing to help predict your
future behavior. And so it's super powerful.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
I love that, all right, what's the second that was?

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Okay? So the second reason why most people procrastinate is fear.
A lot of times we are actually subconsciously afraid of success.
And I think this is a big reason why a
lot of people stay stuck, is that we are actually
subconsciously afraid of what it might look like if we
succeed at doing it interesting and for me personally, so
I'm actually about a launch of podcast by the time

(08:53):
this episode comes out, and may or may not be
already launched. But when I again I was procrastinating filling
my podcast, and me being me, I sit down and
I analyze my mind, like why am I procrastinating starting
to film this podcast? And what I found was that
I was subconsciously afraid of being seen in sort of
a more vulnerable way, because long form content is a

(09:15):
lot more vulnerable than a one minute reel on Instagram,
Like you're not really you in that short of period
of time, but in long form content, people can really
see you. And so that was sort of the fear
that I uncovered for myself. But yeah, and I think
this is another reason why I tell people all the time,
like a lot of people say, get specific about your goals.

(09:36):
But I also say get specific about your fears, because
your fears, they can have control over you when you
don't know what they are. But when you identify them,
labeling them, well, that activates the prefernal cortex and the
prefernal cortex and the amygdala. They sort of have this
kind of seesaw relationship where when one activity activity in
one goes up activity and the other goes down. And

(09:57):
so when you label your emotions, you label the fears
that you you have, you're actually giving yourself your power back.
You're activating the prefernal cortex, which is the CEO of
your brain. It's sort of the boss of your brain.
And so kind of getting specific about your fears, I
would say, is the way to overcome that version of stuckness.
And I think that's a really powerful activity to do

(10:18):
if somebody were feeling stuck.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
How did you get so specific and define your own fear?
I love that you shared what you were worried about
in this whole idea that people are scared of success. Yeah,
how did you come upon that? Like? What process did
it take? What reflection did you do? How did you
identify them? I love what you said about identifying your
goals is important, but actually knowing your fears is equally

(10:42):
as important, if not more.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
How do you do that?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, So I think for me, I have the saying
called take it all the way to the end, and
so allow yourself to go on the journey or the
path all the way to the end. And so I
sat down and I was like, Okay, if I go
and I film this podcast, my goal is to have
a top podcast in the world. Right, so if I'm
having a top podcast in the world, what might that

(11:06):
look like? Oh, that means that I'm setting myself up
to be seen more and maybe have more hate and
maybe have more criticism and judgment and all that. And
just seeing myself write that down, I was like, Okay, well,
if my brain is highlighting that as oh, if you
go and start a podcast, you're going to have more
hate and face more criticism, then it might try to

(11:28):
keep me safe from that. And that's really what that
is is your brain is just trying to keep you safe.
And so that's why identifying your fears can be so powerful.
And so yeah, I would say, if you're trying to
identify what your fears are, I would just take the
goal whatever it is that you're trying to do all
the way to the end, like if it's the top podcast,
or if it's the best selling book, or if it's

(11:48):
your business, or even a relationship. Right, like a lot
of people in relationships, like you're afraid of relying on
someone or being dependent on someone, or really fully being
open and vulnerable with someone, and honestly just identifying that
as the first step and getting super clear on that,
because when you get clear on that, then you can
rewrite the story of exactly like you said, Yes, it's true,
being more vulnerable and being seen my equal more judgment

(12:12):
or criticism, but it might also equal and to the
same extent, if not more, more love and more support.
So and you have to identify at first to give
yourself the chance to even rewrite that fear.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, I love the idea of take you all the
way to the end. That's a great one. It's a
great way of actually getting really clear on exactly what's
tripping you up. And I love what you just said
there that actually when you come up with it, you
realize your brain was just trying to keep you safe. Yeah,
it was actually just trying to help you because it
was scared of that. It wasn't that you weren't good enough,

(12:45):
or it wasn't that you weren't smart enough, or it
wasn't that you can't develop the skills.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
It was just trying to keep you safe.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, And I think when we think about the brain
trying to keep us safe, that and that's a really
big reason why the brain tries to keep us kind
of in our comfort zone. Right, But it's super important
to recognize and acknowledge that any sort of growth happens
outside of our comfort zones. Like I would not be
in the physition where I am today if I didn't
take delusional level risks and leaps of faith. And so

(13:14):
it's really a requirement to achieving or receiving or having
whatever it is that we want. And so yeah, getting
really clear on our fears and take it all the way,
I take it all the way to the end applies
to that. It also applies to limiting beliefs as well,
like take it all the way to the end, see
what comes up for you. And also, yeah, I think
because I've had students, I had a specific student ask

(13:34):
me she was struggling with sand volleyball, beach volleyball, and
she was like, I had this fear, and I was like,
take it all the way to the end. Visualize it. Maybe,
you know, I don't think I've ever heard anyone tell
people like visualize your fears. But if it's safe for
you and you're not gonna like like have any sort
of physical reaction, like visualize it and see what comes
up for you and see like what is it really

(13:55):
that you're afraid of, and then you can give yourself
the chance to kind of rewrite that story to number three. Okay,
so we've got there's an identity mismatch or there's maybe
some underlying fear behind it, and then number three is
really more of a scientific, kind of simple, straightforward thing.
And it's cheap dopamine. Uh, it's everywhere and society sort

(14:17):
of it's everywhere cheap dopamine, social media, it's all over
the place and like fast food, binging, Netflix, whatever it
is that's that's number three is cheap dopamine. And it's
it's really it's a dream dopamine. I always say, like,
dopamine doesn't care about your dreams. Dopamine just cares about
what you automate and what you repeat. And so it's
going to keep you doing that. And also when it

(14:39):
comes to cheap dopamine, if you're giving yourself a lot
of that, then you're not really And one of the
big things that I do to help kind of motivate
myself to doing things is withholding reward. And so whenever
I was in the PhD, I studied drug addiction, and
so a lot of dopamine research and studying kind of
the dopamine pathways. But also drug addiction is really maladaptive

(15:00):
habit formation. And so when I think about kind of
cheap dopamine and habit formation and behavior, because dopamine drives
a lot of behavior, one of the things that I
do to kind of motivate myself is just withhold whatever
reward that I'm wanting. So let's say I saw it
online or I was shopping or whatever, and I saw
a shirt that I wanted, I wouldn't allow myself to

(15:22):
buy it, or a candle or whatever it is, I
wouldn't allow myself to buy it until after I do
the task that I'm maybe procrastinating or feeling stuck doing.
And so if someone's out there right now and you're
procrastinating or feeling stuck starting a business or going after
a job, or dating in a relationship or whatever it is,
and you're regularly giving yourself sort of cheap dopamine or

(15:43):
you know, allowing yourself to just like have whatever reward
it is, and you just give it to yourself all
the time, then you're not really setting yourself up for
success because you're giving yourself your brain is just well
fed on dopamine. And you can think of it sort
of as the analogy of like snacking all day, right,
So if you're snacking all day, you're never really gonna
be hungry and to eat that whole meal, and so
dope means kind of the same way. If you're like

(16:05):
giving yourself those cheap dopamine hits going on social media
all day long, then you're never really gonna be driven
to go complete that big task. And that big task
is going to be a lot more rewarding than the small,
repetitive cheap dopamine, especially at night. So I want to
I want to highlight that because this is something newer
that I've been talking about, and honestly, I discover all this,

(16:26):
Like obviously I learned about neuroscience in school, but I
discover a lot of the kind of hacks and stuff
based on what I need and in my own life.
And so I realized, you know, I was waking up
with less motivation, waking up low on energy, and just
not really feeling like normally and I have most of

(16:47):
the time. I really do wake up and I jump
out of bed and I'm like ready and so excited
for the day. So I'm like, what's what's happening here?
And what I actually realized was that so dopamine actually
resets itself and restores as you sleep, and so scrolling
at nighttime or binge, watching Netflix or any of those
things that give you cheap dopamine and even eating late

(17:07):
night snacks and all that that actually up Well, one,
it disrupts your sleep, and that keeps your dopamine system
from restoring itself. But also it desensitizes your dopamine receptors,
so when you wake up in the morning, you're, for
lack of better like to keep it simple, you're less
sensitive to dopamine when you wake up in the morning
when you give yourself cheap dopamine at night, and so

(17:29):
cheap dopamine is number three. It's a big reason why
people stay stuck. Yeah, because if you're giving yourself snacks
all day, you're never going to be driven to cook
a meal. If you're giving yourself cheap dopamine all day long,
you're never going to be driven to go do the
big task that's going to help you get closer to
your dreams.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
How do we convince ourselves that the big task is
going to be more fulfilling than the cheap, quick dopamine.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Or what do we do with that?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Because I think you're spot on that there are a
million distractions today. It's easy to be caught down a wormhole.
It's easy to binge your show, and you don't realize
that actually building the thing you love or starting that business,
or investing in that relationship, whatever it is, will be
so much more meaningful. What do we do with that?
How do we get there?

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah? So I think two things. The first is get
super specific about why you want that thing, right, So,
if you don't really know why you want and let's
I guess the big goal for this would be writing
a book, because that takes so long and it does
not come easily or company and.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
It never gets easy. I'm I'm writing my third book
right now. It does not get easy.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
It is not. I'll just tell everyone it's not get.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Easy, and it's it's you're in it. It's a marathon,
it's not a sprint. They used to say that to
me all the time in the PhD. It's even though
they wanted you to sprint the marathon. And so I
think for that, it's really understanding and being super clear
about why you want to do it, because motivation is
not always going to be there for you, and that's
where knowing your why. And I kind of have a

(18:56):
different take on discipline where I don't really think of
like this hardcore sort of disciplined sort of moment. I
think of discipline as looking out for future you. And
I think this is why it's super important for me.
Whenever I am working with people, I ask them, you know,
like who do you want to be? Like when you
imagine yourself like achieving the goals or whatever, it is like,

(19:17):
it's not really about that. It's about who achieving those
goals is going to make you become. And that's really
what it's all about. And like who are you feeling
called to become? And getting super clear on who that
is and why you want to be that person, and
so understanding your why and why you want to do it,
why do you want to write the book, and that
will keep you going and motivate you, but also who

(19:39):
that's going to make you become, Like I want to
be an author, Like I want to have a book published,
and sometimes that's going to motivate me a lot more
than just thinking about publishing a book, you know what
I mean? I think that is sort of super important,
is really knowing your why. And then I think the
other thing when you're clear on that, when you're clear
on who you want to become and your why and
your purpose for doing it, that's really the first half

(20:01):
of it, and then the other half of it. I
don't do the whole internal battle thing, like don't I
don't negotiate with myself. That's something that I don't do.
And so I think trying to convince yourself that it's
going to be rewarding and going to be better than
scrolling on my phone, I don't think that we can
really even do that. I don't think that that's something
that I wouldn't recommend. I think in that scenario it

(20:23):
would more be and actually like recently, I was struggling
with getting filming content and I called my friend who's
still in the PhD. She's like my best friend and
I called her and she's like, em, you're the one
that would always tell me, you need to you need
to withhold reward, like what do you want? Like you
do you want like a new feel? Like what is
it that you want? And then get that, get clear
on like what it is that you want, and then

(20:43):
don't give it to yourself until after the big thing
has been accomplished, after you've done the thing that you
want to do. And that's how you start to train
your brain that it's more rewarding. A dog doesn't learn
to sit for free. I say that all the time.
If you want to teach a dog how to sit,
you have to give your dog a treat, and then
that treat boost open me. That dopamine drives learning, and
then when you learn it and it becomes a habit

(21:04):
that you repeat, then it's just wired in and you're
doing it and you don't have to think so much
about it, and it's not about convincing yourself. It's just
wired and it's automatic behavior. And then another thing that
I talk about a lot in my community, in the
people that I coach, is that take a moment after
you do accomplish those things or you do. It doesn't
have to be some big goal that you're accomplishing either.

(21:24):
It can maybe be even something small, like I said,
creating content like that's a stepping stone on the way,
And it can be just as simple as taking a
moment to tell yourself, Hey, I'm proud of you, good
job you accomplish that. Self talk boost dopamine like self
affirmation boosts opamine. It activates the reward centers in the brain.
I used to be I didn't used to believe in affirmations.

(21:45):
I used to think they were woo woo or whatever,
and I was like, no, what is that? But then,
you know, I sort of went on my own journey
and then of course looked into the neuroscience of it,
and they really are so powerful and not even necesscessarily
an affirmation track or whatever it is, but speaking to
yourself positively and kindly, it's so so so important and

(22:07):
making sure to take a moment to do that and
acknowledge yourself when you are working toward the goals, because
it's so easy to you know, just be like okay,
like I'd posted a video, Okay, we're not necessarily at
ten million yet, so that's not we're not there yet.
It's really easy to do that and get caught up
in the big picture and not give yourself the pat
on the back for the steps that you're taking along

(22:28):
the way. And those are the little dopamine booths that
are going to build momentum, that are going to keep
you going, and that are also going to teach your
brain that oh hey, this behavior, this action that we're
taking is valuable and meaningful.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Well practices do you think young people should delay?

Speaker 1 (23:01):
It doesn't have to be a purchase. It is not
to be a purchase. I'm using this is personally for me.
I like clothes, so like for me. And then maybe
it's even going and planning. It can be anything like
planning a reward for yourself, like going out to dinner.
Let's say if you're a foodie. It really depends. So
I'm not gonna sit here and tell people what's gonna
boost their OPA mean, because it's very highly individual. What

(23:23):
is it that you want and like? But maybe you
love going to the grocery store and buying these one
box of cookies that you really like or whatever it is.
Maybe there's something and also it's good to switch it up,
like if it's something that you haven't done for yourself
in a while, or like there's a dessert that you
love that you only have on your birthday. It's like, Okay,
if I take the steps, if I sign up for
this LLC and I get the logo done and I

(23:43):
set up the website, I'm gonna go get that thing
that I get for my birthday and I'm gonna give
it to myself now. So it's just kind of really
anything that makes you And I think also this is
why I always talk about with with people, is to
also have something to look forward to. I think is
super or whether it's just like a dinner because I
found and this is something I really learned through experience

(24:07):
in college and undergrad But then of course, now knowing
the neuroscience of it, I would be so much more
productive and study so much better when I had plans
on Friday night. And like, if you don't have any
plans or anything to look forward to or like a
reason to get some done quickly, then it's gonna be
a lot harder, and also like dopamine is released in
anticipation of a good thing happening, it's not just about reward.

(24:28):
It's also when you are anticipating something. Like from my
like kind of research studies, that was more tied to craving, right,
but in kind of our day to day lives, it's anticipation.
Like that's why when you're when you're a little kid
and it's the night before Christmas, like you can't you couldn't,
you can't fall asleep at night because you're excited, you're
anticipating something. And actually the day that we're supposed to
close on our house, which was like two weeks ago,

(24:50):
I woke up that morning feeling like a kid on Christmas,
and I was like, I was looking into the neuroscience
of it actually because I was like, how do I
activate this feeling more every single day because it's a
great feeling, and I was so productive. But that was
really a day of detachment because we weren't sure whether
or not we were going to close that day, and
it was actually as soon as we decided, oh no,
it's not gonna happen today, we'll just drive home, we

(25:12):
got the call and I was like, Oh, you're gonna
get the keys, and I was like, it's always when
you let go. So yeah, I think it depends on
a person when it comes to what you should delay
or what you should purchase. It doesn't even have to
be a purchase. It can be any sort of rewarding thing,
like actually, something that I've been doing because I have
a mountain bike, not like an avid mountain biker, but
I love nature and I also have a ripstick. I
love to ripstick, just like around my house or whatever

(25:33):
it is. And so I told myself the other day actually,
I was like, I'm gonna film this content and then
afterward I'm gonna ripstick and giving myself that sort of
little reward of like honestly, it's like playtime, Like not
giving myself that. It motivated me to go get it
done because I had something to look forward to and
a little reward afterward.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
Absolutely Well said, it definitely works. It definitely works.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
I can think of so many moments in my life
where that's exactly how I'm focusing on how to get
the work done first and then be able to play
break afterwards. And the biggest one for me from what
you said that I think really is going to make
a difference for people is being kind to yourself in
the process. Yeah, that grace that comes with that, and
the ability to celebrate the small wins and the progress,

(26:16):
because if you're always measuring yourself up against a big goal,
you could be waiting a long long Yeah, especially when
you're writing a book. I mean that you just told
me the cycle of when your book's going to come out,
and that's what it is. It takes like two three
years to put it together, then it takes time for
it to come out, then you're promoting it. So the
actual result of someone saying I love your book and
I got so much from it is so far away

(26:39):
that if that's what you're waiting for, it's going to
feel like forever.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah. I actually had to switch. This is funny that
you say that, because when I first started, I was
very motivated by having a best selling book and writing
this book. And quickly did I learn that's not going
to last and we're not going to be able to
push through on this. So I actually shifted from motivated
by kind of the result to hey, actually I just

(27:04):
want to be an author, and being an author is
a reward in itself, and when I acknowledged that, then
it became more rewarding to write the book and do
the work. And so it was that shift, And I
think that's also why it's so important to figure out
who you want to be and that identity and who
it's going to make you, because when you can start
to kind of identify as that, it's also very rewarding

(27:26):
to embody it as well.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, you've said that desperately wanting something actually blocks you
from getting it, which applies to what you just said
about your house. Just that moment you let go, you're like,
you got the call that you've got your house. Why
does desperately wanting something actually block it?

Speaker 1 (27:43):
When you are very attached to an outcome and you
desperately want something and it's to the point where it
is kind of raising your stress levels and you are
dependent on it or attached to the outcome, it boosts
stress and a boost cortisol and that actually narrows your
perception and kind of which gives you a sort of
tunnel vision and actually blocks you from being able to
perceive or be aware of alternate pathways and alternate routes,

(28:06):
which is one reason why I can block you from
getting it because a lot of times, you know, we'll
have a goal and we have something that we want
to accomplish. And I know for me personally, I had
a goal and I had to be very open to
alternate pathways in my life. I had to be very
open to like, okay, and you know, we'll go down
the road and maybe this road isn't it, and we'll
take a different road. But being able to be open

(28:29):
to alternate pathways that actually you're less able to do
that and you're less open minded and you have more
of tunnel vision whenever you are kind of desperately attached
to something, and also whenever we are chronically stressed, I
mean that puts us in fight or flight. And when
the nervous system is disregulated, I mean it becomes way
harder to rewire your brain. And I like to use
the analogy of a kid in the classroom, Like if

(28:51):
you're a kid in the classroom and you are being
bullied by every single student, it's going to be really
hard to pay attention to the teacher and actually learned
what's being said. But if you feel safe in that classroom,
the kid can actually feel safe to learn and pay
attention to the teacher and absorb what's being said. And
it works the same way in our lives. Like, if
we're feeling stressed and anxious all the time, it's really
going to be difficult to be focused on whatever goal

(29:11):
that we have. And so that's another kind of piece
of it. And then there's another piece of it, which
is sort of this incubation effect in the brain. And
I'm sure you've noticed that if you're sitting there and
you're thinking about a problem or a challenge, or you're
wanting an answer to something, and you can't necessarily think
of the way of the answer, But then as soon

(29:31):
as you walk away from it, then you go for
a walk or you're in the shower or whatever it is,
all of a sudden, the answer comes and whatever you
wanted to say comes. That's the incubation effect. And our
subconscious mind or like the other kind of areas in
the brain can process a lot more information and make
a lot more connections than our conscious mind can when
we're sort of focusing on something. And so whenever we're

(29:52):
desperately wanting something or attached to and we're thinking about
it all the time and we're kind of stopping that
from happening. We're stopping the incubation effect to do it
magic of sort of going to work behind the scenes
and coming up with the answers. And so that's another
reason why letting go can be so helpful and just.
And that doesn't mean that you're not going to work
towards your goals. That doesn't mean that you're not going
to be focused on your goals, but it means that

(30:14):
you know you work toward it, and you worry about what,
you worry about the inputs, and you worry about what
you can do, but you sort of let go of
the how and the when, and you just and it
also allows you to enjoy the journey, which is which
is really important. And I think that's, if not one
of the most important things when it comes to all
of it, is enjoying the journey. And I always say,

(30:35):
you know, life is about the journey. If it were
about the destination, it would be called death. It's about
the journey, and so enjoying the journey is super important.
And when you're desperately attached to something, especially you know
when it's a long term sort of situation, you're going
to be you're you're withholding reward and you're withholding feeling
proud of yourself and feeling accomplished for a long time.
And I don't think that anybody should really live that

(30:57):
way either.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, it can be you can tolment yourself. Yeah, you
can capture yourself if you do it, and it can
lead to greatness, but at what cost?

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Right, it absolutely can. But I knowing myself, and I
think that that's a very important piece of this, and
knowing myself is that one of my top values is
joy and being able to enjoy my life and enjoy
the journey of my life. And so for me, yeah,
I think remembering to enjoy the journey. But also I've
found that I do so much better in my work

(31:27):
and creative process when I am in my joy. And
so I think that joy isn't necessarily like a break
or like an additional reward, but it also is sort
of a necessity if we want our brain to be
in its most optimized state, because tons of studies show
that play and being in your joy it actually boosts

(31:48):
creativity and also boosts longevity and our immune system function
and all the things. So it's really good for our
physical health as well as our mental health.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Absolutely, Yeah, you've reminded me of two things. One thing
I always say to people is you'll get to where
you want in life, just not in the way you
imagine it. The idea that you're going in the direction,
but the path it's going to take is going to
be totally different.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, and so.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
What you want may even change if you're moving at
the pace you want to go. And one of the
things I love that you said your values joy. One
of my values, deep values, is love. And I always
say to myself, I always want to move at the
pace of love. I want to move as fast as
I can while still loving it. Yeah, because if I
start hating it, then it's not worth it, even if
I move three times.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
The speed that I'm at right now.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, Because I want to move at the pace of love.
I want to move at a pace that I'm in
love with myself. I'm in love with what I'm doing
and I in love with what I'm serving, rather than
I'm moving really really fast. We're getting there, but I
actually hate it and I'm upset at myself.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yeah. I think it's super important to know in mindcraft,
in the very beginning, I have people get to know themselves,
and they're key values because in my business, actually, like
working in business, I've had kind of I don't want
to use the word standoffs, but situations where I've had
to bring up and so mine what I have mind
broken down into three parts, and one of the parts
is to be to have love and joy. And for me,

(33:11):
it's the exact same way. It's like, yes, we could
do all of this, and we could move at this speed,
and we could, but at the cost of my love,
at the cost of feeling love and joy, it's not
worth it to me. And so I completely resonate with that.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah, what is the number one thing people are coming
to you in Minecraft and your community for coaching? What's
the number one thing you're seeing amongst young people?

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Minecraft is a pretty wide range. I would say it's
from like twenties up to sixties, so we've got a
pretty wide range of people. And so I would say
the reasons why people come into Minecraft are pretty variable.
But I think I like that you asked a question
about people feeling stuck, because I think that that's a
big reason why people do come to Minecraft and understanding

(33:54):
kind of the neuroscience of reality and how life works
and how the brain builds reality is so sort of
an eye opener. It was an eye opener for me,
it's an eye opener for a lot of people. But
then also seeing how your brain is really like directing
you and then directing how you feel and your actions
and all of that. And so I think a big
reason is that people do feel stuck and they want

(34:15):
they and also, I mean just I got to meet
with some people in Minecraft in person recently, and one
person said that he joined because he wanted to find
purpose in his life and connect more deeply with spirituality.
And he found that not only did he find his purpose,
but he actually just launched a nonprofit, which is super cool. Yeah,

(34:36):
a lot of people, surprisingly, and I guess surprisingly or not.
I don't really know what I was expecting when I
started Minecraft. I just sort of started it because I
wanted to give people everything that helped me get to
where I am in one place. But I've found that
a lot of people end up quitting their nine to
five jobs and starting their own thing and not that.

(34:56):
And you know, of course, there are people who love
their nine to five jobs and they're in them but
surprisingly a lot of people do embark on that journey,
and so I think it a lot of people join
because they want to really find what lights them up
and what calls to them. And I think that when
you figure out who you are on a super deep level,

(35:17):
and you then figure out how your brain works, and
you understand all the little kind of nuances of focus
and stress and anxiety and nervous system regulation and of
course like identity and your sense of self and how
all that works, then you kind of have this sort
of freedom to go and create the life that you
really want.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
What's your take on manifestation.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I'm one hundred thousand percent believe in manifestation.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
Version yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
So I think a lot of people don't believe in
manifestation because they think that it's this thing where you
just sit down and think until it pops up into
your reality. And I don't really I don't really see
it that way. So I guess my take on manifestation
is really sort of just understanding the neuroscience of reality
and how the brain works. There's actually a really cool study,

(36:06):
so I'll tell you about this study. This study actually
really greatly explains how manifestation works at least in my eyes.
So there's a study done in the nineteen seventies where
they took kittens and they raised one group of kittens.
They raised them all in complete darkness. They took one
group of kittens and they showed them only horizontal lines,

(36:26):
horizontal black and white lines. So they're raised mostly in
complete darkness except for a few hours a day where
they're shown only horizontal black and white lines. And then
a different group was shown only vertical black and white lines.
They allowed their brains to develop through their adolescence, and
then when their brains were more developed, their visual systems

(36:46):
were developed, they put them in a normal environment with
chairs and tables and all the things. And what they
found was that the kittens that were raised to only
see horizontal lines, they couldn't see vertical objects. They would
bump into table legs and chair legs because their brains
weren't programmed or wired to see them. The brain develops

(37:06):
in a way that helps us survive in our environment
that we grew up in. And so the kittens that
could only see the vertical lines as they were raised,
they could see they would weave in and out of
table legs and chair legs and all that, but they
wouldn't jump up up onto tabletops or you know, chairs
to perch the way that the kittens that were raised
to see horizontal lines would. And so I think that,

(37:28):
you know, that study kind of really showed me that
if the way that kittens were raised kind of determined
what they could then see or perceive in their reality,
Like what am I missing in my life because of
the way that my brain is wired and the way
that I was programmed by my environment? And I think
that's where sort of certain activities like shadow were kind
of come in. But recognizing that you really can only

(37:52):
see in your reality what your brain is wired for,
and so that job, that relationship, that thing that you're
trying to make or create into your life, you it
might be right in front of you, but you're missing
it because your brain is not programmed to see it
or construct it.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Right.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
And it's super cool because there was someone who came
to my masterclass. I host free master classes, and he
he said he had been searching for a job for
two years, and two weeks after the masterclass, he got
his dream job. And to me, it's just it's a
really cool example, but also a real like when you
wire your brain to become a match, and so that's

(38:30):
what it's really it's all about. It's sort of that
like neuroscience meets law of attraction sort of situation where
when you wire your brain to become a match so
that it can actually construct the experience that you're wanting
to experience, that's when you can see it. And that's
why I say, like you need to act like it
or you need to be it before you can see it.
It's because the brain has to be a match for

(38:50):
it in order to even construct whatever it is. Like
you can be in the best relationship ever, but make
it toxic or you know it won't you won't be
perceiving it as that if you're brain isn't wired to
be in a healthy relationship. And so I think it
really is about rewiring your brain so that you can
perceive the things that you want. And so for me,

(39:11):
that's what manifestation is all about. For me, manifestations and
it is I guess an entire it is a mental game.
It is about rewiring your brain so that you can
become a match to whatever it is that you want.
But then of course that requires action. You don't rewiring
your brain. Yes, it can be done through visualization and
all of that, but a lot of the circuitry, like

(39:31):
habit formation, all that, a lot of it comes from
action and from doing. And so I do think that
of course it requires action, but taking aligned action and when,
And I think that it's important to recognize that when
when you have action but your brain isn't programmed to
see it, then you'll be taking action for a long time.
You might achieve it, you might not. But when and

(39:53):
when you're of course only doing the brain component, or
the energetic component of it, the mental component, you might
become this great thing. But then it's going to take
action for you to go. And I think that when
you have both your brain as programmed for whatever it
is that you want, and you're taking action toward what
you want, then that's when you become completely unstoppable.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah, it's so interesting to hear about the exposure of
the kittens. Yeah, what they had the vertical and horizontal lines.
I remember I was coaching someone a few years back
and they told me that the richest person they knew
made one hundred thousand dollars a year. And so then
I introduced them to someone who made one hundred thousand
dollars a month, and they were like, oh my god,
I didn't know you could make one hundred thousand dollars
a month. Then I introduced them to someone who made

(40:31):
one hundred thousand dollars a day, and then they're like, oh,
wait a minute, Like, I didn't know you could make
one hundred thousand dollars a day. And then I introduced
them to someone who makes one hundred thousand dollars an hour.
And it was just incredible to watch their mind expand
because it was just a glitch almost in their belief
system of what was possible. And that wasn't about that
person wanting to become really rich or wealthy. It was
just about the idea of can you expand the mind

(40:53):
out enough to be exposed to something that it hasn't
seen before and heard before, and all of a sudden,
the person since being able to wire differently and being
able to conceptualize dreams and businesses and ideas that they
never have because they just weren't aware. And I always
think about that, like, what's the prison that we've created
for ourselves? Yeah, no matter how big your world is,

(41:13):
or how small your world is, it just ends up
being that size. And it's hard to do that if
you haven't left your town or met someone outside of
your landscape, or met someone in a different career path.
I mean, I talk about it all the time. Growing up,
I didn't know anyone who looked like me who worked
in media or was on television or worked in.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Any sort of way. I just didn't see anyone.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
And if you haven't seen it, it's so hard to
experience it or dream to become it because you just
think people like you don't do that right exactly.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
And that's why I'm really big on normalizing your dreams
to yourself, because yeah, exactly, if your brain hasn't been
exposed to it, it's going to be really hard to
honestly even set the goal for yourself to be it
or have it. And you know, I've definitely had people
like my business partner and fiance. He definitely should me
a lot on the business side of things that I

(42:03):
had never experienced before, and I was like, well, there's
a whole different world out there that I didn't even
know existed. But then also kind of more in the
content creation space and like meeting people when I did.
I'm big into moving and I love that you said
that if you haven't been outside of your hometown, because
for me, moving is just an incredible way to level
up your life. And I love to talk about the

(42:23):
brain also being an association machine. So the brain loves
to make connections and associations between things, and when you
move into a new environment, the brain has no prior
associations to anything. It's like it's a clean slate, and
so it's really easy to establish a new identity or
sort of new beliefs or a new mindset in a
new environment because your brain has no prior associations to
kind of hold you back in that past version of yourself,

(42:46):
and so it's really easy to start anew But yeah,
and love I love going and putting myself in environments
where I'm being around people or places or things that
are expanding my mind. It's an incredible way to level
up in your life and in your mindset and in
your ability to even set goals for yourself because I

(43:07):
think for a long time, for me, I didn't even
know what I wanted to do or be or have.
I didn't I didn't know like I didn't know any
of it, and so I think exposing myself to that,
And like when I moved across the country to Miami,
I didn't know a single person there, but being around
certain people I knew, I was like, you know this person.
Not necessarily do they resonate with me, but I know

(43:28):
that they were brought into my reality to show me
what's possible, and it really did expand my mind. So
I'm grateful for that.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
How do we manifest based on neuroscience? How would neuroscience
suggest we do that?

Speaker 1 (43:56):
Yeah, so I have a three set process.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
I love them, I know you, I.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
Love me, some steps and making it simple. That goes
back to my scientists days. So when it comes to manifesting,
it really is the same thing for anything that you want.
So the first step is to be is to identify
the feelings. Identify the feelings that you believe the thing
that you want is going to bring you. I always say,
you don't want the thing that you want, You want
the feeling that you believe the thing that you want

(44:26):
is going to bring you. So, for example, if you
are wanting a relationship, then you might the feeling you
might be after is to be loved and feel safe
and supported. If you're wanting a whole bunch of money,
it might be freedom. It might be security again, safety
and security and freedom, whatever it is, right, So those
are a few examples. But whatever it is that you want,

(44:47):
write down whatever it is that you want, and then
write down the feelings that you believe those things that
you want are going to bring you. It's super important
to identify the feelings. And I get a lot of
questions from people like what if I don't know what
I want? If you don't know what you want, that's
it's fine. You can still write down the feelings that
you want because I think a lot of times maybe
we don't know. And I think a lot of times
also we think we know what we want, but we
don't really know what we want, but it really is

(45:09):
the feeling that we're after. And so identify the feelings.
That's the first step. Identify the feelings and write them down,
and then from there make two lists. The first list
is a list of reasons why you already have to
feel that way, and so for example, for me, I
actually held a manifestation workshop in my community and I
was I always use personal examples, so mine was a

(45:30):
million followers on Instagram, and I didn't have it at
the time, and I live on that call. I realized, Oh,
what I'm really after is feeling official and accomplished, Like
I want to feel official and accomplished. That's really what
I want. And so then I identified those feelings, right,
And so then the next step is to write a
list of reasons I already have to feel that way.
I think a lot of times again, our brain isn't
even letting us acknowledge that we actually can already feel

(45:54):
that way in the present. And I was like, I
already have this business, I'm coaching people, I'm changing lives,
I have a giant follow on social media, even if
it's not a million. I have a lot of reasons
to feel official and accomplished already, and writing a list
of all those reasons down. And I have people in
my community that they print out their resume and put
it in their bathroom mirror, like all of the things
that they've done right to make them feel that way.

(46:14):
But write down a list of the reasons why you
already have to feel that way. And then the second
list is a list of things right. So sometimes people
will be like, well, I don't have any reason to
feel that way, which to that I would argue. To that,
I would argue, try harder. But there is another list,
and the list is a list of things that you
can give yourself that you are in control over to

(46:35):
feel that way. So, if I'm trying to feel official
and accomplished, what can I do today to make myself
feel more accomplished? Well, for me, I always feel accomplished
after I complete a workout. I always feel like I
know that I'm writing a book. I can go write
a few pages of my book that will help me
feel accomplished. And so again, what will help me feel official?
I mean the definition what an official means to me?

(46:58):
I guess for me, it's just like, oh, I made it,
and I guess that for that I could go and
maybe read comments from people like saying like, oh you
really help me or whatever it is. So, what are
some activities that you can do to give yourself that feeling?
And I think combining the two is important, right because
again acknowledging all the reasons why you already have to
feel that way, but then also becoming more aware of
things that you can do in the moment to make

(47:19):
yourself feel that way. And when you start doing that,
and after like two months after doing that practice on myself,
I had a million followers on Instagram, and I do
believe and know that it shifted my energy, right, Like
I'm creating now from a different space of feeling more
official and accomplished. And so I think that that kind
of process of identifying the feelings, recognizing all the reasons

(47:41):
you already have to feel that way, and then becoming
aware of things that you can do to help yourself
feel that way even more. When you start doing that,
now you have the feelings that you want already, and
now you're in a place where you can also be
detached from the outcome. It's not going to stop you. You
should still go and work toward the thing that you're wanting, right.
But that's how you rewire your brain. And so that's
sort of the neuroscience component. Of course, we could go

(48:03):
way deeper into this and talk about this for hours,
but this is sort of like my short, condensed three
step neuroscience component to becoming a match to whatever it
is that you want. And now when you're going and
working toward the journey, When I was going and working
toward a million followers. Now I'm working toward it with
a different energy. I'm working toward it as a match
to whatever it is that I want.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Yeah, that match piece is brilliant. I love the way
you broke that down. I think we all forget how
many difficult things we've already done, and how many amazing
barriers that we've already broken through, and how many challenges
we've already overcome. And if you just took a moment
to recognize that, you'd feel so confident, because each and
everyone person who's listening to us has been through Helen

(48:44):
Back in their own way, and that experience is something
we kind of take for granted. We don't realize how
hard it was because to us it was normal, right.
We don't recognize just how much beauty there Isn't it?
That's brilliant. Do you believe that you can miss something
was meant for you?

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Don't?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
I don't believe that you can miss something that's meant
for you, because I think that really we are on
this journey to learn lessons and level up in our
own little game of life, and so I don't believe that.
And I think that if there is something that you
think that you missed out on, that you believe was

(49:23):
meant for you. I think that I'm a firm believer
in divine timing, So everything happens in divine timing, maybe
not at that time, but it will come around and
cycle back. I think that also life happens in these
sort of cycles where every time you level up or
just you know, you'll still see the same situation over
and over again. So I don't think that you can
miss something that was meant for you if you're not

(49:45):
a match for whatever it is that you want, I
do think that you can miss it, but then in
that case, it wasn't meant for you in that time.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
At that time, I think you were talking about how
if you judge someone, you can internalize those same things
that you're judging about them. And I really like that
you brought that out because I think one of the
other biggest distractions right now is actually jealousy, comparison, gossip.
There's a sense of like, we'll talk about the person,

(50:13):
and it's what you said, was your fear with even
becoming more public and being more vulnerable, is that people
put themselves out there, then other people point to them
either make fun of it or call it cringe or
whatever it may be, and then we don't realize we're
actually just setting ourselves up for failure too, because then
we're not able to put ourselves out there. Talk to
me about what do we do with feelings of jealousy

(50:35):
and comparison when they're so human, they're natural for us
all to feel, But how do we transform them into
something actually useful for us rather than something unhealthy?

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Yeah, I think for jealousy a huge thing that I
would do when I first I don't remember where I
learned this from, but I have a mantra or a
statement that I say, and when I see somebody with
something that I want, I say, that's for me. And
I think jealousy a lot of time is it is
just fear with a mask. It's fear that we can't

(51:04):
have it too. It's fear that this person can achieve
this goal or have this thing and I can't have it,
and so I'm going to be jealous of them. And
I think that it is sort of a limiting belief
and a limiting kind of mindset and behavior to be
jealous of somebody, because you're basically telling your brain that
you can't have it. Whenever you're jealous of someone, you're

(51:25):
basically reinforcing to yourself that's not for me. And so
recognizing that that when you're jealous of someone, you're teaching
your brain that's not for me, then you're like, oh, wow,
I don't want to do that anymore. I want I'm
gonna teach my brain. And I think that a lot
of times we are shown things in reality to see them,
and when our brain is triggered it by this thing,

(51:45):
it's because we actually want it too, and it's to
be shown something that we can then go and work toward.
And so I started saying to myself, that's for me.
And I remember actually when I first moved to Miami
and I was on the beach and I went on
the beach and there's this couple having the super romantic
like picnic on the sand, and I was very saying
and I just like I remember looking at them, and
I took a video. I was like, that's for me,

(52:06):
and just like being so took a creepy video from Afar,
like that's for me too. And it's really cool though,
because I think maybe it was about a year later
that I'm less than that. Actually that I met my
fiance and then we were both in Florida and we
were doing that, So it's super cool how that works.
So yeah, I think recognizing that you don't want to

(52:26):
teach your brain that you're limited in that way, like
teach your brain that that's possible for you too, and
so recognizing that that's really what jealousy is is just
fear with a mask.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Yeah, I really like the idea of that's for me,
and the idea that when you are jealous of someone,
it's actually saying that's not for me, and that is
the emotion that blocks you because and then you justify it.
You come up with so many reasons for why you
don't like what that person's doing, or so many reasons
for why you deserve that and they don't, but none
of that actually motivates you to get out there. How

(52:55):
much do you believe that our matching is feeling we're
worthy of something or deserving of something, Like when you
say that's for me, that's you saying like, well, I
deserve a love like that, I deserve a picnic on
the beach like that. How much how much do we
struggle what's happening in the brain when we're struggling with
feeling worthy or deserving of that.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah, I think it really is just a worthiness component
to it. And I think that there are different components
to achieving whatever it is that we want or having
whatever it is we want, Like believing that it's possible
is huge, but also believing that you are deserving and
worthy of it. And worthiness comes down to self love
and knowing yourself, and I think self love really is

(53:38):
one of the biggest components to all of this that
we're talking about today, and loving yourself and so and
loving yourself is about more than just like doing self
love practices. It's also about knowing yourself and knowing who
you are and in the light parts and also in
the dark parts, and giving yourself grace and also accepting
all that you are and accepting every single piece of yourself.

(54:01):
And so when it comes to self love, of course,
there are so many I mean, the first thing on that,
what I would say is really your self talk and
recognizing how you're talking to yourself is so important. But
I've seen insane shifts in my own life when I
have decided that I'm worthy of something and a lot
of times we don't. Again, it's sort of that on

(54:23):
that same playing field of getting specific about your fears,
like getting specific about your limiting beliefs and where you
are limiting yourself. And I think that worthiness is a
big component to that, and so recognizing that you are
worthy of whatever it is that you want is so important.
And yeah, I mean you can, of course, like make
a list of all the reasons why you deserve it

(54:44):
and why you are worthy of it, and that's great,
but also like it really can just be a decision
to decide that I am worthy of this, like I
am worthy of this, and I do deserve it, and
really like stepping into that. And if you don't believe
that you're worthy of it, then that's again an area
where you can take it all the way to the
end and ask yourself why, like why don't I believe

(55:06):
that I'm worthy of this? And then getting clear on
that and getting clear on your why, and then again
you can rewrite the story from there and and kind
of create a new narrative around whether or not you're
worthy of something. But back when I rouse in the PhD,
I would go to this temple all the time and
hang out with all these monks, and I got like
really close with a couple of them, and I think

(55:27):
one of my greatest takeaways from the time that I
spent there and just learning from them and talking to
them is that wanting things, wanting material things and physical things,
whether it's money or a job or a relationship, whatever
it is, that's it's it's not a bad thing. It's
it's not bad to want to make more money. It's
not bad. It's it's actually like one of the most

(55:49):
spiritual things that you can do is to be abundant,
because it's that's the state of nature is abundant. When
a tree blossoms with fruit, it's abundant with fruit, and
so you like, we are abundant by nature, and recoging
that and that, like the divine, by nature is abundant,
and so recognizing that you deserve to be abundant as well,
and recognizing that honestly really helped me because before that

(56:10):
I thought, I think this is also where a lot
of like the hate or like because I've got I've
seen people before say things like, oh, it's bad to
want money, I don't like money, and all that. I
think a lot of it comes from that place as
well as like thinking that it's bad or feeling guilty
or shameful for wanting to achieve it. And I think
it's really important to recognize that you don't need to
feel shameful or guilty for wanting things. That's actually like

(56:33):
you came here to expand consciousness and expand along with
the universe universes expanding. We're here to expand, and a
lot of times that does mean to go after whatever
material thing that we're wanting. And that's that's it again,
it's not about the material thing. It's about who we're
going to become on the journey toward achieving the material thing.
But if the material thing is driving you, that's not

(56:53):
a bad thing and you don't have to feel ashamed
of it and you can actually feel worthy of it.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, it's so interesting how we think of them beliefs
as being I'm not good enough or I'm not smart enough.
But shame and guilt can be limiting beliefs as well,
like I don't I feel like if I want that,
then I'm a bad person. And if I want that,
then I'm not a good person, or whatever it may be.
And what do we do with that? What do we
do with limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough? And

(57:20):
what do we do with the shame and guilt of
maybe I'm not a good person if I want that?

Speaker 1 (57:25):
Yeah, So on the I'm not good enough piece, I
think that's where I like to adopt the game of
life mindset. When you make it to a new level
of a game, you're tech you're good enough to get
there because you passed the previous level and you're on
this new level. But are you really good enough to
play this level yet? Like? Probably no, you haven't learned

(57:48):
the way this level works. You haven't learned the ins
and outs. Usually it takes yourself, you a few tries,
and you got to go and navigate and learn the
rules of this new level of life and this level
of the game. And so are you good enough to
be on this level? Maybe not, but you're good enough
to pass the previous one. And but recognizing that that's okay,

(58:11):
Like you're not meant to be perfect at this new
level yet, like you just got there, and so recognizing
like for me, like I'm starting to write it, I
might not be good enough to be a best selling
author yet, But it's gonna be the journey that's going
to make me into one. And so I think giving
yourself permission, permission actually to not be good enough to
do the thing. And I mean, of course, like understanding
who you are and knowing yourself and and and being confident.

(58:33):
And I think I have like a hot take when
it comes to confidence that it doesn't have to You're like,
confidence isn't about achievements or accomplishments. Confidence is knowing who
you are. And I have a track on like all
streaming platforms, I'm like, I'm not trying to plug this
right now, but it's called like you don't even realize
who you are. And I think for me, whenever I
was first starting the journey to go into the PhD

(58:53):
and moving to Arizona where I didn't know a single
person there, I had people asking me like, aren't you afraid?
Are you nervous? And I wasn't at all, and and
thinking about why I wasn't. It was because I had
just embarked on this journey of self improvement and knowing
myself and self awareness and also like a huge spiritual
journey that I was on. And I think that those
two things together and this sort of trust and surrender mentality.

(59:14):
I had trust and surrender written on sticky notes everywhere.
Did I necessarily think I was good enough to be
to be this like amazing scientist doing all these things.
I don't know if I really believe that, but I
believe that I was capable of being good enough to
do it. So recognizing, of course, like innately I am worthy,
but also like mentally and physically, maybe I haven't gained
those skills yet, but that's okay, I don't need to

(59:37):
have those skills yet. From there, you can really again,
it all comes back to your why of why you
want those things. Like for me, I don't feel shamed,
like I don't feel ashamed or guilty for saying I
wanted a million followers because I know that with my
platform growing then I can impact and help more people
and that's my overall goal. Like and so yes, of course,
like I want a million followers. Honestly, if I'm being

(59:58):
honest with myself, I want even more. And that's okay
to want that, but also understanding that what is driving
me to even build this from the beginning because I
never even my plan was never to be a content
creator in the first place, I was just becoming a scientist,
and then the content about science was taking off. It
really is about helping people reach their maximum potential and

(01:00:19):
giving people the information that I wish I had whenever
I was younger that I didn't have, and so recognizing
my why and other people don't need to know that.
And I think one of the things that I've had
to really release on my journey is being understood and
accepted by everyone. And when you are, I always say
that being misunderstood is the tax that you pay for
being authentic and so and authenticity is the most magnetic

(01:00:42):
energy that you could possibly have, Like you are so powerful,
because that's really if I have to name a purpose
that can be distilled down to everyone, that is your
purpose to be you, because like you came to this
planet to be exactly who you are. You were made
on purpose, and so that is your purpose to be you.
Being yourself and being authentic is super powerful. And me

(01:01:03):
kind of being myself and sharing that like that that
is me just being authentic. But also I don't feel
ashamed for it because I know my why and I
know that it's a lot bigger than me, and I
know that it's going to be like helpful for people,
and that's what's driving me, you know, And there are
people that and I can't speak for everyone, but there
are people in my personal life that want to make

(01:01:25):
more money and they are driven by money. And I
think from there, it's like, okay, but what is your why?
Like why do you want to make more money? And
a lot of times it's okay, I want to be
able to take care of my family. I want to
be able to have a sense of freedom and safety
and security. I don't want to have to worry about
certain things, and that is completely valid and okay, And
I think again, you mentioned giving yourself grace before, and

(01:01:47):
that's something that I've recognized through working with people, that
most people do not give themselves enough grace. We really do,
and forgiveness is powerful practice forgiving others but also forgiving yourself.
But I think that when it comes to feeling guilty
or feeling shameful, I think thinking about it from the
neuroscience perspective to kind of attack from both sides here,

(01:02:08):
realizing that you learned that story and that doesn't mean
that it's true. And so if you feel guilty for
wanting money or a specific job. If you feel like
if you feel like that makes you a bad person,
realize that you learn that from somewhere and that does
That doesn't mean that it's truth. It means that that's
what was programmed into you and from there. And this

(01:02:31):
is what I tell people with limiting beliefs as well,
is look for evidence of the opposite. Look for evidence
of people. And I have people someone in my community
was like, oh, yeah, there's this guy who's super rich,
multi millionaire, and he uses that money and donates it
to charity and does a lot of great things. And
so that's a great example of someone who's gone out
and made a lot of money and then used it
for good. And so of course there are the opposite

(01:02:51):
side of that as well, but that doesn't that doesn't
mean that that's going to be you, and so recognizing
that is important to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
Yeah, what I appreciate is you're such a student of
your own work, Like you're testing these things out in yourself,
You're creating the things you wanted when you were younger.
What's the work you're doing on yourself right now? Like,
what are you working on and building for yourself right now?

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Recently I have been doing a lot of re releasing
of being accepted and understood by other people. That's something
that I've been writing down a lot in my journal,
but also tapping back into more of my creative side.
Something I live and swear by is doing morning brain dumps.
So every single morning I wake up and I just

(01:03:53):
I write for about thirty minutes in my journal and
I just write and and it's great for a lot
of reasons, but also it is a great way of
practicing non judgment of yourself. If you just allow yourself
to get into flow and just write in your journal
without judging it, without really overthinking it, but just stream
of consciousness writing, it's really kind of priming your brain

(01:04:15):
for flow for the rest of the day as well
as well as you know, practicing no judge but of
yourself and getting into more of a creative state. But
also it's a really great way to observe your own
patterns too, So I love kind of analyzing myself in
that way. But that's really something that I've been tapping into.
And also I guess just really giving myself more grace
because the past few weeks have been insane in my life,

(01:04:35):
like we're we just closed on house and we're moving
and getting engaged in all that, and I think, like
I was telling you, the house is a mess. We
don't have furniture, and there's a lot going on, But
recognizing that the messy middle is proof of growth, and
sometimes the in between stages mean that you're growing and
leveling up, and so giving myself grace and that as

(01:04:56):
well as and recognizing like, Okay, yeah, things are not
put together right now, like we are not settled, I
feel displaced, I feel a little bit all over the place,
But recognizing that that means that I'm in a journey
of leveling up and is a good sort of mindset
to have while doing this. So I would say that
those are really some of the key things that I'm working.
I'm kind of acknowledging and wiring into my brain right now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
You're releasing the need to be accepted by people. What
is the part of you that is crave to be
accepted that you're trying to release?

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
So I think for me, I guess me understanding my
why and understanding that I really am here to just
help people in every way that I can. It's sort
of tough when you see comments or get dms from people,
and I mean people have negative things to say or
they pick on like certain things like oh I can't

(01:05:48):
believe that you would do this or whatever, and it's
just like damn, Like I'm trying so hard to be
like a positive force for good. No matter what I do,
it seems like some And so I've recognized sort of
recently that maybe it's having a little more effect on
me than I would like it too, and so becoming
aware of that and now also recognizing that I think
a big thing that I've realized, and I guess another

(01:06:11):
thing that I've been working on a lot lately is
play and being in my joy more. Because actually we
were in Sedona a couple of weeks ago, and it
was funny because and this is you had mentioned a
little bit about the videos, like what you put out
and what you put onto people is actually mirrored in
your brain and you're really putting it onto yourself. But
I went to this like or reading thing and Alex
he asked me, he was like, what color is my

(01:06:32):
or going to be? And I told him brown, and
he's like, what's your gold Mine's gonna be gold? And
we go there and mine was brown. And it really
is true, like you get what you give and there's
tons of neuroscience behind Yeah it was gold. Yeah, and
it really is like I mean obviously like and you

(01:06:53):
kind of mentioned it a little bit, but when you
when you talk about badly about other people or just
make any sort of comments, like you are activating those
pathways in your brain, and so your brain isn't necessarily
even making the difference that it's about someone else. You're
just focusing on that emotion and you're focusing on negativity
or complaining. And for me it's like, okay, yeah, I'm
focusing on that brown aura. But really what I was

(01:07:15):
told and that was like you need to be pouring
into yourself more, like you're pouring into a lot of
other people, and you need to be pouring back into
yourself more. And I've come to recognize that the comparison,
the jealousy, being bothered by what other people have to say,
it has a lot less of an effect when you're
actually really enjoying your life and so pouring back into

(01:07:36):
myself more and spending more time in play and like
going on my ripstick and going hiking and playing with
my dog but allowing myself to actually be in my
joy more often and pouring more into myself is actually
something that I've been doing more often that I kind
of fell off of doing, and it I think that's
one way that I am kind of lessening the effect

(01:07:56):
of that, because yeah, I recognized that it was having
more of an effect on me, and I have learned
that those comments and what other people have to say,
it really has less effect on you when you are
actually truly enjoying your own life and feeling confident in yourself.
That and I also had a dream. I had this

(01:08:17):
dream about the neuroscience of reality and why you shouldn't
listen to what other people have to say, and that actually,
of course it told me everything I needed to know,
and I made a video about it, and it was like, basically,
the neuroscience of reality and in short, is just the
idea and understanding how the brain works. That your brain

(01:08:37):
is constructing your entire experience of reality. Everything that you
hear see like, you don't see with your eyes, you
see with your brain. All your eyes do is just
taken light signals and then those light signals travel through
the brain where your thoughts and your emotions and your
beliefs and your past. It's all incorporated before the image
is even put together that you see. This is why
they've they've shown differences in activity in people that when

(01:09:01):
they look in the mirror like they have sort of
body dysmorphia or whatever it is. They've shown differences in
brain activity in those people. So it's not just that like, oh,
it's on their head, but really their brain is actually
constructing the image of them differently. And so this works
with everything in your reality. This is just how it works.
It's not just vision. Also, it's same thing with sound,

(01:09:22):
all of it. And so recognizing that what that means
is my brain is different than your brain. You live
in a completely different world than I do because your
brain is constructing the world differently. You have a different brain,
and so it's constructing a different world. And this is
why actually science shows that no two people see color
the exact same way, because no two people have the
exact same brain. I used to work in a color
vision lab and I got to see how different objects

(01:09:44):
and were plotted on this color map, and how different
individuals would see the same color fruit And it was
pretty cool to see that. But yeah, and so recognizing that, like, okay,
every single person is seeing the world differently, like they're
essentially living in a different reality. And so when somebody
makes a comment or they say something that might be

(01:10:05):
actually true for their reality, it might be true for them,
that might be the world that they live in, but
that doesn't mean that it has to be the world
that I live in, and doesn't mean that it has
to be true for my reality. And so recognizing that,
and of course, like everybody's on their own journey, their
own timeline, their own path, they have their own programming,
like the kittens, Like imagine the kittens that were raised
with the horizontal lines giving giving advice to the kittens

(01:10:26):
with the vertical lines, the kittens of the vertical lines,
and be like, what are you talking about? That doesn't
make sense at all, And that's it's the same thing
for people. We're all programmed and raised differently. And that's
why you know, we should take or resonates and leave
what does not resonate. But also I think that that's
given me a lot of reassurance, So think thankful for
that dream, but it's given me a lot of reassurance

(01:10:48):
on my journey of releasing that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Yeah, that's beautiful, Thank you for sharing that. I wanted
to talk to you about love. You just go engaged
two weeks ago, and you've said that you don't attract
what you want. You attract what your brain is wired for.
And I wanted to ask you for anyone right now
who's in that space where they're like, I want to
be in love, I want to find my person, but

(01:11:12):
maybe they just got broken up with. What do you
do when you're feeling going back to what we talked
about earlier, you're almost feeling so desperate that you just
want to find this person, and you keep hearing different
forms of advice. Someone's like, yeah, you just got to
get on the apps, you got to focus, and the
other person saying, no, you'll find someone when you're least
interested in looking for them. People are confused, where do

(01:11:33):
they start? From a neuroscience point of view, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
So I can share my story of it all. And
of course it's really funny because whenever I was still dating,
I used to people in my life would be like,
you date like a scientist, and I absolutely did date
like a scientist. So everything I like to be super
intentional with the way that I do things. So whenever
I would date people or go on dates or whatever,
it is, like I said, you do have to be

(01:11:56):
a match for it, but also you should be sort
of putting yourself in positions. But so I would go
on dates and stuff or whatever. And actually what ended
up happening was I ended up with a list. I
love lists, if that's not obvious. I ended up with
a list of all the different qualities that I wanted
in a partner because I became very aware and clear
of what I didn't like in people and what I did,
at least for myself, right, And so these weren't necessarily

(01:12:19):
physical attributes, but values and different characteristics of a person.
I took stock of, Okay, where am I a match
to that? Where am I not? Like if I'm wanting
someone that's physically active and physically healthy and into fitness
and likes to eat healthy and all that, like am
I living that lifestyle?

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Like? Am I a match for that? And so I
think that's the first step is getting super clear. And
I think also understanding what you want is very important
when it comes to wanting to date someone so or
wanting to meet your person. That's Honestly, what I did
is I would treat it like an experiment and collect
data of all the different things that I valued and
things that I didn't, and then on that list, recognizing like, Okay,

(01:12:58):
where am I out of sync with whatever it is
that I'm asking for? Am I asking for something that
I'm not currently embodying, and then embodying that, And then,
honestly what happened was I did give up. I did
actually give up. I met my fiance literally the same
week I had said to my friends I'm giving up
on dating. I went through like a little bit of

(01:13:19):
like a talking stage and then ended it and I
was like, I'm giving up. I'm just gonna focus on
my business, I'm gonna focus on content, I'm gonna I'm
just gonna do me. And and literally I was in
the middle of doing me. And you heard the story
of like how we met, but we met on a
work call, so I was in the process of doing me.
And I think that it really does work well when

(01:13:40):
it happens that way, because I met someone that was
literally my perfect match, and it was really cool because
I think maybe like a few weeks after we officially
started dating or whatever, it was I went back and
looked at the list, and he checks every single box
on that list, and so it works. And I think
from that for that, I also tell people like, don't
ever settle, like I don't settle for a person. And

(01:14:01):
it was really cool because when I it was that
moment of like, oh, that's what it's supposed to feel
like like that. For so long, I was like fighting
to make certain things work, or like trying to like
make explain myself in situations or whatever it is. But
then finding that person that really understands you that you
don't have to over explain yourself all the time is
really incredible. But yeah, and so I guess just again

(01:14:25):
getting clear on the feelings that you want. And I
think when it comes to manifesting love from the neuroscience
perspective of it, you do have to date yourself. And
people do say that, and you do. You do have
to be in love with yourself, and you do have
to date yourself, and you do need to have a
really good relationship with yourself because I mean, the truth
is is that like relationships are like they are work
and you do have to pour into them and there

(01:14:47):
are going to be moments where you're gonna maybe not
see it the same way, But understanding yourself and really
being really confident in who you are is really important,
even for the longevity of a relationship. So it's more
than just about finding your person, but also making that
relationship last and making it a healthy relationship. Dating yourself

(01:15:07):
and really being in love with yourself and having a
positive relationship with yourself is super important. So I think,
of course, then again, what's the follow the three step
process that I said earlier? Identify the feelings that you
want the person to give you. Do you want them
to make you feel safe? Do you want them to
make you feel supportive? Are you making yourself feel supportive?
Do you support yourself? Do you celebrate yourself? If you

(01:15:29):
want someone to celebrate you, are you celebrating yourself? Because
the way that it works is then if you get
into a relationship, you start dating someone or whatever it is,
and they don't celebrate you, if you don't celebrate yourself,
you might let that slide. But if you're celebrating yourself
and you're loving yourself and showing yourself all of the
being for yourself, all of the things that you're wanting

(01:15:49):
from someone, else then you would You wouldn't even settling,
wouldn't even be in your vocabulary, because as soon as
somebody didn't do something that you would do for yourself,
little switch will go off and brain and be like, Okay,
something is a mismatch here and it's not Maybe it's
not completely a match, or maybe it's something you need
to communicate, but either way, again, giving yourself all the
feelings that you want to have from that person is

(01:16:11):
then going to make you a match for it. And
then also whenever you're dating someone that's not a match again,
that's where your question of do you think that you
can miss something that's meant for you? This is going
to make you better at missing things that are not
meant for you.

Speaker 3 (01:16:24):
What's that?

Speaker 2 (01:16:25):
Yeah, it's been great. I've learned so much and I
think we've touched on everything from manifestation to relationships, to
people dealing with self doubt, to people knowing their values,
getting to know themselves, being able to understand My biggest
takeaway has been this idea of the mismatch of identity
with goal or even identity with the person. And I

(01:16:47):
think that's going to help so many people. And I
love all your steps and lists keep them coming there great.
But Emily, we end every episode of On Purpose with
a final five. These questions have to be answered in
one word or one sentence maximum for each of them.
And then sometimes I'll break the rules that I'll.

Speaker 3 (01:17:03):
Let you know.

Speaker 2 (01:17:04):
So the first question is what is the best advice
You've ever had or received?

Speaker 1 (01:17:09):
The best piece of advice I've ever heard or received
is don't follow or do what you think you should
do or what you think is going to work, but
follow or do the thing that most lights you up,
because that's the thing that you're going to make work
in the end.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
Well said question number two, what is the worst advice
you've ever had or received?

Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
You you have to follow this diet or you have
to create content this way, you have to have this
schedule for posting, you have to do this, that or
the other. I think when you try to follow specific
step by step pads that work for other people. And
I think for the same reason of the neuroscience of
reality and that you live in a different world. It

(01:17:51):
might be true for somebody else's world, but it's not
necessarily true for your world and your reality. And so
I think any piece of advice that my answer would
be any piece of advice that is calling you to
go against your own intuition.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
The question number three, for anyone who's listening to this,
when they wake up tomorrow morning, what's one thing you'd
like them to try or do differently?

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
All right, when you wake up tomorrow morning, well before
you went to bed, I hope you didn't give yourself
a whole bunch of cheap dopamine so that your dopamine
stores can replenish themselves. But I would like them to
try the three m's movement, mindset, and mindfulness. And they
can be done in any order. But these three components

(01:18:36):
in the morning, they make you that deeply rooted tree
so that you're not swayed in the wind of life.
And it can be as short as fifteen minutes, it
can take you two hours for me, it depends on
the day. But movement is super important. I mean, every
single night, as you sleep, your brain dumps a whole
bunch of waste down into your neck through the glymphatic system.
If you're not moving in some way, shape or form,

(01:18:58):
it will just sit there in your neck. And there's
actually been some studies now showing they're linking that to
Alzheimer's and cognitive decline. And so it's just super important
to move your body. And back in my PhD days,
whenever I was super busy, I would just hit three
sun salutations like thirties, like one minute, and I would
be on with that. And then mindfulness. And a lot

(01:19:19):
of people ask me like, what's the difference between mindfulness
and mindset? For me, mindfulness is raking the soil, and
mindset is planning the seeds. So mindfulness can look like meditating,
it can look like breathwork, whatever that is. And then
mindset for me is setting an attention or an affirmation
or whatever it is. If you do those three things
in the morning, you really will set yourself up for

(01:19:41):
success on a level that you might not have ever
seen before.

Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Nice a question of before, what's something that you've learned
in euroscience that still shocks you or something recently that
you learned that really stands out to you about us.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
The one thing that still shocks me that is super
powerful and really important to know that I never hear
anybody talk about is how the vagus nerve ties in
with our ability to manifest and our intuition Yeah, So
there's actually research to show that the level of our
the level of how much our vegus nerve is toned,
actually is connected to our intuition. And of course the

(01:20:19):
vegus nerve is the tenth granial nerve and it is
what is really responsible for that mind body connection. And
what they've found is that not so when I say,
like the vegus nerve, how toned it is, you can
think of it like a muscle. So when your muscles
are really toned, When your muscles are really toned, they're stronger.
When your vegus nerve is really toned, it's stronger, it's better,

(01:20:39):
it's better. And so when you have more vegas tone,
they've actually found that your your sense of intuition is stronger,
it's more accurate. But also your nervous system is more regulated,
so you're in more of that kind of like rest
and digest feeling of safety. You're better able to rewire
your brain, you're better able to learn new things, and

(01:21:00):
it's super powerful. And something that I always tell people,
and I've talked about before, is just how easy it
is to tone it, like right in the moment, like
if you're feeling anxious, you can just start humming and
humming or you know, ohm or whatever it is. It's
really cool, how like ancient kind of spiritual practices are
already doing it. But humming actually tones the vegas nerve,

(01:21:20):
and that's one There are many ways to tone the
vegas nerve, but that's one thing that you can do
in real time that you'll immediately start to feel calmer
and more relaxed in the moment. But yeah, and so
they've shown that when your vegus nerve is not as toned,
you actually have lower heart rate variability. And heart rate
variability is also linked to intuition, and of course nervous
system dysregulation, and so we're kind of more stuck in

(01:21:42):
that fight or flight our intuition is less accurate. And
so I think the vegus nerve is a kind of
cool avenue to think about and talk about that I
don't really hear a lot of people talking about when
it comes to neuroscience.

Speaker 3 (01:21:53):
And that's huge.

Speaker 2 (01:21:54):
I've never heard that before. Yeah, that's awesome. And what
are the other ways of toning it?

Speaker 1 (01:21:57):
So you've got humming, Yeah, humming ground exercise? Does it
actually really cool? Gratitude practice tones of vegas nerves. But yeah,
and so, and there are a lot of ways like
to tone it, but exercise grounding, humming. There's actually like
I had this device, which I mean they're available everywhere,
but they like vibrate and through bone conduction actually can

(01:22:19):
tone the vegas nerve as well. So there's a bunch
of different ways to do it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:23):
But yeah, I love that. That was great. I'm glad
to ask.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Yeah, I didn't I've never heard that. Fifth and final
question we asked this to every guest who's ever been
on the show. If you could create one law that
everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
I would say, I would want people to learn about
the power of their minds. Yeah, growing up, I had
so many labels and all these different like diagnosis put
onto me, and I thought I was just stuck that way,
and I thought that's just who I was and what

(01:22:59):
I had to deal with for the rest of my life.
And I had no idea that, oh, hey, like, through
the power of neuroplasticity and epigenetics and all these different practices,
I can not only rewire my brain, but change the
way that I think and feel and behave and also
change my physical health through all of that. So yeah,
I would say that my law would be that people
need to learn about how powerful their mind is.

Speaker 3 (01:23:21):
Is that what made you want to study in neuroscience?

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
No, I actually found neuroscience on accident. So I was
again just kind of following the rules that everybody had
set out for me. I was smart and good at science,
and so I just was like, okay, I should become
a doctor then. And my major was actually biology. I
hated it. I did not like learning about the crab
cycle or photosynthesis or any of it. And so I
actually went up to one of my friends and I
asked him, I said, I hate biology. What should I

(01:23:44):
switch my major to? And he was like, you should
switch it to neuroscience. I had never even heard of
neuroscience at the time, but it sounded cool, and so
I switched my major. First exam I ever took, I
got a one hundred, and my professor reached out to
me and he was like, congratulations, you can have done better.
And I responded back to his email and I was like,
this is so cool to be in the research love.
So I started doing research and neuroscience immediately, very early

(01:24:05):
on and that's where I started to really fall in
love with neuroscience and just learning about how cool the
brain is, because the brain is super cool, but also
all the different things that we can do with it.
And then I was taking a class in undergrad about
the neurobiology of drug addiction and why current treatments don't work,
and it was like, they don't work because we don't
actually know the problem and we're just throwing band aids

(01:24:27):
on the symptoms. And that was something I really resonated
with kind of growing up. That happened to me a lot,
and so I was like, that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go and I'm gonna cure drug addiction. And
so I actually I actually ended up doing the exact
research that I wanted to do. I was investigating new
targets to treat relapse to drug addiction, like neuropharmacology and
all that, and so that's what I went to do.

(01:24:47):
And I like that you mentioned, you know, being open
to other pathways and stuff, because yeah, whenever I decided
obviously not to be a scientist in the lab all
the time anymore, I kind of didn't really know what
was going to happen with that dream. But actually someone
in Minecraft let me know that she's two months sober
since joining, and for me, that made me. That was
a full circle moment for me when I realized, oh, hey,

(01:25:08):
like actually I still did the thing that I want
set out to do, just in a different way than
I thought I was going to be able to do it.
So that's how I got into neuroscience. It wasn't on purpose,
it was by accident.

Speaker 2 (01:25:21):
And what were some of the labels that you had
when you were younger that you felt you wish you
had this insight earlier on in life?

Speaker 3 (01:25:29):
What were those labels?

Speaker 1 (01:25:30):
Yeah, So growing up I actually dealt with a lot
of physical and mental health issues. When I was eight
years old, I was hospitalized with E coli and then
from then on I really struggled with my health. I
was in and out of doctor's offices all the time
I was there. At one point in high school, I
was going to like the emergency room. I remember having
to leave a haircut halfway through because I had to
go to the emergency room. So I had like like pcos,

(01:25:51):
like hormonal imbalance, all the different kind of physical things.
Then mentally, you know, like depression ADHD all the just
one doctor labeled me as bipolar, like a lot of
different things, and knowing now what I know, like I
was a teenage girl, like going through a lot of
hormonal changes and not being supported and so you know,

(01:26:13):
and of course, like I think, especially with many other things,
and I think especially with the ADHD component, but also now,
like I was talking to my grandma on the phone
recently and she had asked me, like, oh, how's your health?
And I honestly hadn't thought about it in a long time.
And that's when I realized, whoa Like, not only have
I healed my mind, but I've really healed from the
inside out. And I think for me, I thought that

(01:26:34):
I was gonna have to be on all these medications
the rest of my life. I thought I was gonna
just like I really struggled with like and I think
something with ADHD that a lot of people don't talk
about is it's not just an ability to focus and
being distracted. It's like, Okay, if you're bad at controlling
your impulses, I personally also was bad at controlling my
impulse of emotions, and so I was super emotional. This

(01:26:55):
is a whole bunch of things. And so I think
for me, I wish that I someone was like, hey,
you can actually start to train your brain to be
better at focusing and being less impulsive. Like for me,
meditation gave me superpowers, and I mean that in every
aspect of it, like also like of course with the
brain and focusing and training my ability to focus and

(01:27:19):
all of that, but also to be able to tap
into my intuition and to be able to tap into
all that is and all that and just get downloads
and answers and all of that. So I think, yeah,
I wish that when it comes to all, Like to
answer your question of what labels, there are so many,
and I just wish that somebody would have come and
told me, hey, you can change. You do have the

(01:27:41):
power to change, because I thought I was stuck like
that and I thought that there was something wrong with me.

Speaker 2 (01:27:46):
Well that's so powerful. I love hearing that because I think,
right now, that's exactly what every young person's being told.
And we hear those diagnosis and they're useful, but then
we end up creating a story around them as well.
Can achieve who we can be, how much we can
focus what's possible for us, and your living proof that

(01:28:06):
you can go on to not only heal from the
inside out, but to actually go and have goals and
targets and win and achieve and build a healthy life,
which I think is so inspiring for so many disease
So that's awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:28:18):
Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:21):
Well, everyone's been listening and watching. Make sure you go
and tag me and Emily with all the incredible insights
that she shared. Any advice that stood out to you,
Anything you're going to try out, anything you're going to
journal about, Go and follow em on the brain on
Instagram if you don't already, and across social media, and
you can follow mindcraft as well, which is Emily's community platform.

(01:28:41):
Check that out as well, Emily. Anything else anywhere else
you'd like people to discover you, follow you, find you?

Speaker 1 (01:28:47):
Oh no, those are the main those are the main accounts.
So thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:51):
Of course, of course, and I'm sure we get to
welcome Emily back when her book's ready. She's already an author.
We have a back d Yeah, such a pleasure talking
to Emily. I learned so much and thank you for
being such an incredible instrument and vessel for neuroscience and
spirituality and mindset. It's incredible what you're doing and I'm

(01:29:12):
such a fan. So congratulations.

Speaker 1 (01:29:14):
Yeah, it's been great. Thank you for having me. This
has been awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:29:16):
Thanks for what.

Speaker 2 (01:29:17):
If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with
doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by
changing your brain.

Speaker 4 (01:29:25):
If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with
a healthy brain. You know. I've had the blessing or
the curse to scam over a thousand convicted felons and
over one hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.

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