March 7, 2025 • 28 mins
What does success mean to you?
What’s one habit you think successful people have?
Today, Jay unpacks the hidden habits and mindset shifts that set the most successful people apart. Many of us believe that highly successful people are somehow different, that they possess unique talents or advantages we don’t. But it's actually about recognizing and mastering key patterns that most people overlook.
Jay also uncovers the hidden patterns and psychological principles that shape success, revealing how small mindset shifts can create massive impact. He explores the power of belief, the influence of focus, and the importance of letting go to make room for growth. With practical insights and thought-provoking perspectives, this episode will challenge the way you approach success and help you unlock new possibilities in your journey.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Recognize and Leverage Patterns for Success
How to Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong Things
How to Build Confidence by Observing Success Strategies
How to Reprogram Your Mindset for Growth and Achievement
Success isn’t reserved for a select few—it’s within your reach if you’re willing to shift your mindset, recognize patterns, and take intentional action.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:10 How to Become More Successful in Life?
03:50 Tip #1: Understand the Patterns
11:14 Tip #2: You’re Doing All the Wrong Things
17:24 Tip #3: Get Support from Someone Who Believes in You
21:39 Tip #4: The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
25:20 Tip #5: Stop Measuring Your Success By Others' Timelines
26:23 Tip #6: You Don’t Need Everyone to Like You
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, it's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce
my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
experience on Purpose in person. Join me in a city
near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
(00:25):
spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences
for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a
meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now.
Head to Jysheddy dot me forward slash tour and get
yours today. Are you busy but doing all the wrong things?
(00:50):
Think about this for a second. The number one health
and wellness podcast Jay Setty Jay sheddyt Hey everyone, welcome
back to On Purpose. I'm your host, Jay Chatty, and
I'm so grateful that you're back here to listen, learn
and grow. Now today I'm going to talk to you
(01:13):
about how you can become more successful than ninety percent
of people. Most of us believe that the people who
achieve greatness, the people who do amazing things, are special,
that in some way they're different from us. And here's
the reality. They're different in their consistency, they're different in
(01:38):
their creativity, they're different in their work ethic. But at
the core, they're not different. I believe this myself. For years,
I used to always think I'm not made for more.
I don't think I can achieve that. I don't think
i'm good enough. Things like that never happen to me.
And I'm guessing that you've said some things to yourself
(02:01):
multiple times. How many times have you actually had an
amazing opportunity? You get invited to a potential client's dinner
and you don't even show up because you're so scared
of ruining it, you don't even try. Or what about this?
Someone says to you, you know what, I know you're
trying to get good at website design. I'll actually pay
(02:24):
you to do it, and you say, no, no, no,
I'll just do it for free because I'm not that experienced.
We sabotage ourselves, we sell ourselves short, and we don't
build even when opportunities are coming. This is why I
truly believe that all of us have had opportunities We've
had moments where we could have been better, performed better,
(02:45):
had opportunities to grow, but we weren't ready for them.
And it's because we're not doing what the ten percent,
what the five percent, what the one percent are doing.
And that's today is all about. I want to walk
you through the tools, through the ideas, through the insights
(03:07):
that you may miss, that you may not notice. Maybe
you didn't grow up around an entrepreneur, maybe you didn't
grow up around a high achiever and you didn't get
the opportunity to learn this from them. I believe that productivity, effectiveness,
and achievement are all possible for you and for me.
(03:28):
And here's what I want you to do. I want
you to get your notebook out and if you're walking,
if you're running, if you're at the gym, don't worry.
Just take a screenshot of the moments I mentioned things
that you know you need to come back to. And
this is one of those episodes that you're going to
want to send to a friend, a family member, because
I want you to share the insights so you get
(03:48):
better at practicing them. Here's the first one. If I
told you that to become more successful than ninety percent
of people. You had to focus on one thing, and
that one thing was patterns. Would you believe me? Would
you get it? I mean, I've even wanted to write
a book about this, and I don't because I just
(04:09):
think everyone's going to look at me and think, Jerry Pattens,
what do you even mean? Well, here's the point. If
you look at anyone who's had success in any industry,
it's because they understand patterns. If you look at people
who are brilliant at investing, whether it's property or stocks,
(04:29):
they know when to get involved. They've followed the pattern
long enough to know when to get in and when
to get out. It's a pattern that they've analyzed and
observed and learned. If you look at people like mister
Beast who've had incredible success on YouTube, why does that
happen Because he's understood the pattern. He's understood the algorithm,
(04:54):
which is just another word for pattern, and he's observed
that pattern, mastered that pattern, and then delivered to it.
He knows what to do in the first three seconds,
he knows what to do in the last nine seconds.
He knows what to do in the middle to keep
your attention. He's mastered a pattern. If you look at
(05:14):
your favorite movie, you look at your favorite TV shows,
there's a rhythm to the script. There's a pattern. And
here's what's true. The most successful people in the world
are either pattern observers, pattern makers, pattern disruptors. But they're
definitely not one thing pattern followers. See. What's really interesting
(05:39):
about the ten percent is that their pattern observers, pattern makers,
pattern disruptors. But most of us are pattern followers. With
a consumer we follow the pattern, we follow pages. We
use what we're given and we use it to consume.
We don't use it to create. We don't use it
(06:01):
to build. We don't use it to think. We use
it to consume. We use it to consume our time.
We use it to pass time. We use it to
pass waste energy. We don't use it to create, build, disrupt,
or observe. If you think about the amount of creators
there are in the world that are social media creators
(06:25):
versus the number of social media consumers, we have the
numbers in front of us. The majority of people in
the world, the ninety percent of the world, are consumers.
They're watching, liking, commenting, sharing. Now, there's nothing wrong with that.
I too am a consumer, and sometimes to be a
good disruptor, maker or observer, you have to be a follower.
(06:48):
You have to be a consumer, but then you have
to do more with it once you have followed, once
you've lived in the established patterns systems, or you have
to get good at observing them. A pattern observer or
a pattern seer is great at recognizing existing patterns, trends,
(07:13):
or connections. They can observe and identify relationships, often excelling
in analysis and foresight. They have the ability to strategize
based on their findings. So, for example, if a social
media creator sees, oh, when I start a video that says, hey,
(07:36):
did you know? They realize that people click five times
is more times? And when they put a call to
action at the end, they realize people share the video
more than three times. If I observe that, I can
now apply that when I create. If you see that
some of the biggest brands in the world today, before
(07:57):
they launch, they start a mailing list something exciting's coming soon.
Be the first to find out everyone subscribes to the
mailing list. They discover how many people are interested. If
you observe that pattern, you too can use it. For
your business. Too often we're trying to reinvent the wheel.
(08:18):
We're trying to start from scratch, We're trying to build
from the beginning, from the bottom. The reality is someone
else has figured it out. Can you watch that pattern?
Can you notice that pattern? And if you can, you
become a pattern observer and then ideally you apply it. Now,
(08:39):
if you get good at observing patterns, you might have
the ability to become a pattern maker. These individuals create
new patterns, systems, or frameworks. They're innovators who build solutions, processes,
or artistic work that didn't exist before. And they've studied
(09:00):
the patterns so well that they know how to build
for it, they know how to create for it. But
now there's one more person the pattern disrupted the rarest
of them. All. These people challenge or break existing patterns.
Take someone like Steve Jobs, who invents the smartphone at
(09:20):
a time when everyone still had buttons on their phone
and small screens. When you think about the origination of
Spotify by Daniel Eck, when you think about the rise
of computers, when people didn't think everyone needed a personal computer.
They just believe that there'd be a few for the
whole world. These people are rebels or revolutionaries. If you
(09:46):
think about the founders of social media apps, who created
an online universe that didn't exist before, but even disrupted
the patterns. So you can see that anyone who is
successful is ubset with patterns. And I want to ask you,
whatever industry you're in, whatever place you're in, have you
(10:08):
understood the pattern of the industry? What's the pattern of
the person who gets promoted? What's the pattern of the
person who gets selected. Now, our mind will try and
say things like, Oh, it's just because they've been sucking up. Oh,
it's just because they're the ones who's you know, they've
just been around the longest. All of that may be true,
(10:29):
but challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to observe the pattern. If
you observe the pattern, you will master that place. If
you look at good health, it's a pattern. How much protein,
how much cardio, how much strength training. If you look
at anything you want to be successful at life, learn
the patterns, and learn the patterns from the pattern makers
(10:53):
and observe it. And sometimes don't even listen to what
they say, watch what they do. Do. A lot of us
sit there and we listen to someone teaching us the
pattern when actually, if you want to be the best
pattern reader, watch it. Watch the person do their art masterfully.
That step one. Now, the second step about becoming more
(11:18):
successful and impactful than ninety percent of people is asking
yourself this question. Are you busy but doing all the
wrong things? Think about this for a second. Imagine this.
Two people walk into a room. One sees a handcrafted
desk and thinks that's pretty nice. The other sees the
(11:41):
same desk but gasps, this is a masterpiece. Why do
they have a different reaction? The second person spent two
frustrating hours assembling it from flat pack pieces, cursing over
missing screws, and doing the work. This is known as
the Ikea effect. It hijacks your brain and makes you
(12:05):
believe your effort has magically transformed something ordinary into something extraordinary.
And this isn't just about furniture. It's why parents treasure
their child scribble drawing more than a piece of Picasso's art.
It's why startups cling to ideas others call doomed. It's
(12:26):
why your half baked project feels like a work of art.
Psychologists discovered the Ikea effect through experiments where participants built
simple things like lego models or origami. The shocking result,
people were willing to pay significantly more for the creations
they built, even when they looked objectively worse than a
(12:49):
professional version. Effort plus ownership equals value. And why is that?
Our brains crave meaning and effort creates attachment. The harder
we work on something, the more we feel it's part
of us. Now that's not a bad thing. It means
(13:10):
we should take ownership, we should grow. But here's what
successful people do. They realize that the Ikea effect can
blind us. It makes us cling to bad ideas, dysfunctional relationships,
or failing projects simply because we've poured so much of
ourselves into them. It's a psychological trap. The more effort
(13:33):
you invest, the harder it becomes to let go. So
the next time you find yourself obsessively defending something you've built,
ask yourself, do I love this because it's great or
because I made it? The most successful people in the
world are good at being detached. They're good at quitting something.
They're good at leaving something behind when it isn't great
(13:57):
and they can't make it better. They're not so at
task to their ideas that they think there's only one way.
If this doesn't happen, nothing else will they find another way?
They build another path. They're open to the idea. A
lot of us are too attached to the work we've
put into something that we don't want to work on
(14:19):
building something else. You've studied something for three years and graduated,
so now, even though you have an amazing opportunity to
do something completely different, you feel like you're wasting the
three years. You feel like you're leaving something behind that's valuable.
Rather than feeling the inspiration and excitement of the new
(14:40):
opportunity in front of you, you're letting what's known in
economics as sunk cost bias slow you down. Sunk cost
bias is where you're biased by sunk cost. You've already
invested so much time and energy into something you need
it to become meaningful, to give your life meaning, rather
(15:02):
than recognizing this doesn't serve me anymore, This isn't valuable anymore,
this isn't my goal anymore, and that's okay. I'll give
you an example where I had to practice this. Some
of you may not even know this. Originally, my community
built on Facebook, I have around thirty million followers on Facebook,
(15:22):
which is where I first started as a creator, and
at one point I realized that it wasn't serving me
the content I was creating. The platform was hard to
grow on and I realized I really wanted to launch
a podcast. So here we are. And if I had
said to myself, no, no, no, I'm a facebooker. That's
what I'm known as, that's what I have to do,
I've put in so much effort into this, I would
(15:45):
never be here with you today. So much of what
you'll create tomorrow is when you'll let go of what
you do today. Don't let your attachment hold you back.
I couldn't be more exc to share something truly special
with all you tea lovers out there. And even if
you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling
(16:08):
sodas that are good for you, listen to this RADI
and I poured our hearts into creating Juny sparkling tea
with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your body,
and with every sip, you'll experience calmness of mind, a
refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness. To your day.
Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances
(16:31):
that act like superheroes for your body to help you
adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life.
Our super five blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, Ushwa, Ganda, acrola,
cherry and Lion's made mushroom and these may help boost
your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine, combat stress,
(16:52):
pack your body with antioxidants and stimulate brain function. Even better,
Juni has zero sugar and only only five calories per can.
We believe in nurturing and energizing your body while enjoying
a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So visit Drinkjuni dot
com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code
(17:14):
on Purpose to receive fifteen percent off your first order.
That's drink ja Uni dot com and make sure you
use the code on purpose now. Step three is something
called the pigmalion effect. What if I told you that
the key to your success isn't just hard work or talent,
(17:36):
but someone else's belief in you. What if their faith
in you could actually shape who you become imagine this.
You're in a classroom and the teacher believes your destined
for greatness. She sees your potential, and without even realizing it,
she starts treating you differently, more encouragement, more attention, more opportunities,
(18:00):
and then something incredible happens. You start to live up
to her expectations. Your grades saw, your confidence grows, and
you begin to believe in yourself more. But here's the twist.
It wasn't just about your ability. It was about the
belief someone else had in you. Welcome to the Pygmalion effect,
(18:22):
a psychological phenomenon where higher expectations lead to better performance.
And this isn't just some motivational theory. It's scientifically proven.
Researchers discovered this by conducting an experiment with students. Teachers
were told that certain students were intellectual boomers, though in
(18:42):
reality these students were picked at random, but by believing
in their potential, those students performed significantly better by the
end of the year. The Pygmalion effect shows how our
expectations shape our reality. When others believe in us, it
shifts our behavior, it boosts our self esteem, and it
(19:05):
unlocks our abilities that we didn't even know we had.
But I know what you're thinking, Jaye, no one believes
in me. Well maybe you've had a coach, a mentor
family member or friend. But I know some of you
are still thinking, JA, don't really have people like that
around me. Well, here's the most amazing thing. The real
(19:25):
power of the Pygmalion effect is it's about your own
belief in yourself. If you start holding yourself to a
higher standard, if you expect more from yourself, you'll start
to see that belief reflected in your actions. Think about
someone like Kobe Bryant who had his Momba mentality. It
(19:46):
was a mentality that he aspired for that he channeled
during a game. It was a belief he had in himself,
a potential that existed. You look at the alter ego
of Beyonce. Sasha fears she knows who she is in
that moment. It allows her to almost be acting out
of a body, to be a different level of herself.
(20:07):
What's the beast mode version of you? What's the version
of you that you aspire to be like? And you
notice you have the potential, but you need to unleash it.
I've thought about this for a long time in my
own life. When I first met my mentor who believed
in me, I'd always say to him, No, I'm not
an entrepreneur. I'm just a creative. I'm just an artist.
(20:29):
I need to work for someone. I can't work for myself.
I'm not an entrepreneur. I would say this to him
again and again and again. Today I realize that I
was wrong. I have the ability to be an entrepreneur.
I have the ability to be a business owner. Why
because I allowed myself to have that vision for myself.
(20:51):
When people don't have a greater vision for you, remember
to hold a greater vision for yourself. Not that you
believe you are those things now, but that you're working towards,
you're aspiring towards all of those things being possible. I
know you can do it. I know it's possible, and
(21:12):
I'm here telling you that. If you've never had someone
in your life tell you they believe in you, here
I am now. I do believe in you. I see
your potential. I notice you're trying. I acknowledge that you
show up here every day every week, and you're ready
for the next level. I want you to start seeing
(21:35):
your future self and aspiring towards them. This next one
is probably my favorite one when it comes to the
things the ten percent do that the ninety percent don't.
And I want you to think about it like this.
Imagine you just learned about a new concept. Maybe it's
a word, a brand, or even a type of food.
(21:57):
It's on your mind, and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere.
You hear it in conversation, you spot it in social media,
and you even see a billboard for it. It's like
the universe is throwing this thing at you from all directions.
It could be numerology. You see eleven eleven everywhere. Literally,
while I'm recording this, it's twelve twenty two and I
(22:19):
just saw two two two. Right. Maybe it's the cyber truck,
the Tesla cyber truck. You've been talking about it, you
now see everywhere in the world. Me and my friend
were talking about the other day how we don't see
a particular color of a particular car. The next thing,
you know, we could see it everywhere. But here's the truth.
It's not happening more. It's just you notice it more. Right,
(22:42):
It's only twelve twenty two or eleven eleven at you
know certain times of the day. It's not happening more often,
but you notice it more. Your brain's playing a trick.
Welcome to what's known as the badder main off phenomenon,
the mind bending illusion, where once you notice something, you
suddenly think it's everywhere. Your brain filters out everything that's irrelevant,
(23:07):
and once it's noticed something, it starts to pay attention
to it more. This makes you believe that it's appearing
all around you, when in reality, your brain's just hyper
focused on it. And this phenomenon happens because of cognitive bias.
Our brains are bombarded with information every second of the day,
(23:27):
so to avoid being overwhelmed, they filter out things that
don't seem important. But the moment something catches your attention,
maybe a new word or idea, your brain suddenly relearns
to look for it, and because you're now hyper aware
of it, it appears to be popping up everywhere, even
though it was always there. So how do you use
(23:50):
this like successful people? Well, let's say you're thinking about
starting a business. You read an icle about entrepreneurship, and boom,
you start noticing entrepreneurship stories everywhere, podcast, YouTube videos, friends
talking about their side gigs. The badder main off effect
has kicked in. It's not that there's more entrepreneurship around you,
(24:11):
it's that your brain is now hyper focused on it.
So whatever it is that you want to find in life,
whatever it is that you want to learn about in life,
plant the seed. Become hyper focused on it, and you'll
see it everywhere. But hey, this also works negatively. If
you think there aren't enough opportunities, you will find proof
(24:33):
around you that there aren't enough opportunities. If you feel
to yourself you're not an entrepreneur, you will see signs
that you're not an entrepreneur. Our mind will latch onto
any idea that we have planted. So the next time
you want to get good at something, plant the thought.
For example, if I want to launch a podcast, let
(24:56):
me think about all the ways in which I be
a good podcast host. Let me notice those things, let
me surround myself with them, and that will develop my confidence.
Whereas if I start noticing all the ways i'm not,
that will als edent my confidence to get started. You
want to use this principle to your advantage. Now I
(25:17):
want to share a couple more with you. This is
a big one. Don't compare your chapter one to someone
else's chapter twenty. Stop measuring your success by others' timelines.
Everyone has their own path and success isn't linear. Focus
on your own journey without getting distracted by others perceived achievements.
(25:43):
Unsuccessful people look at where people are today and wonder
how far they are. Successful people look at and learn
how those people started. They turn envy into study. Instead
of envying where someone is, study where they started. Instead
(26:05):
of envying what someone has, study how they got it.
Instead of envying the life someone's living, study the parts
of their life that are unseen. That's what it takes
to become great. Two more things I wanted to share
with you. You don't need everyone to like you. It's okay
(26:28):
to be misunderstood. Successful people understand that when you're doing
things that are new, fresh, innovative, exciting, it can be
too overwhelming and surprising for others. Your work ethic, your
work rate, your dedication, your discipline might scare people. And
(26:49):
when people are scared, their fear usually comes out as
insecurity or noticing flaws in you. It's not about them,
it's not about you. It's what fear does to people.
You don't need everyone to like you, and you will
never like everyone. That's the reality, and that's the final
(27:13):
step to realize. Some relationships are meant to be short chapters,
not lifelong books. Not every friendship, partnership, or connection is
meant to last forever, and that's okay. Some of us
never grow because we're scared to outgrow the people around us.
Some of us never move forward because we're held back
(27:38):
by the people around us. And some of us never
become who are meant to be because we think we
have to be like the people we're around. It's okay
to let go, It's okay to move on, and to
do it respectfully, gracefully, and kindly. You don't do this
(28:00):
because you think you're better than people. You do this
because you want to be better than who you were yesterday.
I really hope that these principles, actually I know these
principles will transform your life. Let me know when you
tag me in the stories. Which one resonated with you
and I can't wait for you to join in to
another episode. Thank you for listening today. I will see
(28:22):
you on the next one. Remember and forever in your corner,
and I'm always rooting for you. Take care. If you
love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant
on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem
solve in parents and coaches have become more directive and
(28:45):
trying to tell them how the behaviorsus teaching them how
to behave
Hey everyone, it's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce
my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
experience on Purpose in person. Join me in a city
near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
(00:25):
spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences
for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a
meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now.
Head to Jysheddy dot me forward slash tour and get
yours today. Are you busy but doing all the wrong things?
(00:50):
Think about this for a second. The number one health
and wellness podcast Jay Setty Jay sheddyt Hey everyone, welcome
back to On Purpose. I'm your host, Jay Chatty, and
I'm so grateful that you're back here to listen, learn
and grow. Now today I'm going to talk to you
(01:13):
about how you can become more successful than ninety percent
of people. Most of us believe that the people who
achieve greatness, the people who do amazing things, are special,
that in some way they're different from us. And here's
the reality. They're different in their consistency, they're different in
(01:38):
their creativity, they're different in their work ethic. But at
the core, they're not different. I believe this myself. For years,
I used to always think I'm not made for more.
I don't think I can achieve that. I don't think
i'm good enough. Things like that never happen to me.
And I'm guessing that you've said some things to yourself
(02:01):
multiple times. How many times have you actually had an
amazing opportunity? You get invited to a potential client's dinner
and you don't even show up because you're so scared
of ruining it, you don't even try. Or what about this?
Someone says to you, you know what, I know you're
trying to get good at website design. I'll actually pay
(02:24):
you to do it, and you say, no, no, no,
I'll just do it for free because I'm not that experienced.
We sabotage ourselves, we sell ourselves short, and we don't
build even when opportunities are coming. This is why I
truly believe that all of us have had opportunities We've
had moments where we could have been better, performed better,
(02:45):
had opportunities to grow, but we weren't ready for them.
And it's because we're not doing what the ten percent,
what the five percent, what the one percent are doing.
And that's today is all about. I want to walk
you through the tools, through the ideas, through the insights
(03:07):
that you may miss, that you may not notice. Maybe
you didn't grow up around an entrepreneur, maybe you didn't
grow up around a high achiever and you didn't get
the opportunity to learn this from them. I believe that productivity, effectiveness,
and achievement are all possible for you and for me.
(03:28):
And here's what I want you to do. I want
you to get your notebook out and if you're walking,
if you're running, if you're at the gym, don't worry.
Just take a screenshot of the moments I mentioned things
that you know you need to come back to. And
this is one of those episodes that you're going to
want to send to a friend, a family member, because
I want you to share the insights so you get
(03:48):
better at practicing them. Here's the first one. If I
told you that to become more successful than ninety percent
of people. You had to focus on one thing, and
that one thing was patterns. Would you believe me? Would
you get it? I mean, I've even wanted to write
a book about this, and I don't because I just
(04:09):
think everyone's going to look at me and think, Jerry Pattens,
what do you even mean? Well, here's the point. If
you look at anyone who's had success in any industry,
it's because they understand patterns. If you look at people
who are brilliant at investing, whether it's property or stocks,
(04:29):
they know when to get involved. They've followed the pattern
long enough to know when to get in and when
to get out. It's a pattern that they've analyzed and
observed and learned. If you look at people like mister
Beast who've had incredible success on YouTube, why does that
happen Because he's understood the pattern. He's understood the algorithm,
(04:54):
which is just another word for pattern, and he's observed
that pattern, mastered that pattern, and then delivered to it.
He knows what to do in the first three seconds,
he knows what to do in the last nine seconds.
He knows what to do in the middle to keep
your attention. He's mastered a pattern. If you look at
(05:14):
your favorite movie, you look at your favorite TV shows,
there's a rhythm to the script. There's a pattern. And
here's what's true. The most successful people in the world
are either pattern observers, pattern makers, pattern disruptors. But they're
definitely not one thing pattern followers. See. What's really interesting
(05:39):
about the ten percent is that their pattern observers, pattern makers,
pattern disruptors. But most of us are pattern followers. With
a consumer we follow the pattern, we follow pages. We
use what we're given and we use it to consume.
We don't use it to create. We don't use it
(06:01):
to build. We don't use it to think. We use
it to consume. We use it to consume our time.
We use it to pass time. We use it to
pass waste energy. We don't use it to create, build, disrupt,
or observe. If you think about the amount of creators
there are in the world that are social media creators
(06:25):
versus the number of social media consumers, we have the
numbers in front of us. The majority of people in
the world, the ninety percent of the world, are consumers.
They're watching, liking, commenting, sharing. Now, there's nothing wrong with that.
I too am a consumer, and sometimes to be a
good disruptor, maker or observer, you have to be a follower.
(06:48):
You have to be a consumer, but then you have
to do more with it once you have followed, once
you've lived in the established patterns systems, or you have
to get good at observing them. A pattern observer or
a pattern seer is great at recognizing existing patterns, trends,
(07:13):
or connections. They can observe and identify relationships, often excelling
in analysis and foresight. They have the ability to strategize
based on their findings. So, for example, if a social
media creator sees, oh, when I start a video that says, hey,
(07:36):
did you know? They realize that people click five times
is more times? And when they put a call to
action at the end, they realize people share the video
more than three times. If I observe that, I can
now apply that when I create. If you see that
some of the biggest brands in the world today, before
(07:57):
they launch, they start a mailing list something exciting's coming soon.
Be the first to find out everyone subscribes to the
mailing list. They discover how many people are interested. If
you observe that pattern, you too can use it. For
your business. Too often we're trying to reinvent the wheel.
(08:18):
We're trying to start from scratch, We're trying to build
from the beginning, from the bottom. The reality is someone
else has figured it out. Can you watch that pattern?
Can you notice that pattern? And if you can, you
become a pattern observer and then ideally you apply it. Now,
(08:39):
if you get good at observing patterns, you might have
the ability to become a pattern maker. These individuals create
new patterns, systems, or frameworks. They're innovators who build solutions, processes,
or artistic work that didn't exist before. And they've studied
(09:00):
the patterns so well that they know how to build
for it, they know how to create for it. But
now there's one more person the pattern disrupted the rarest
of them. All. These people challenge or break existing patterns.
Take someone like Steve Jobs, who invents the smartphone at
(09:20):
a time when everyone still had buttons on their phone
and small screens. When you think about the origination of
Spotify by Daniel Eck, when you think about the rise
of computers, when people didn't think everyone needed a personal computer.
They just believe that there'd be a few for the
whole world. These people are rebels or revolutionaries. If you
(09:46):
think about the founders of social media apps, who created
an online universe that didn't exist before, but even disrupted
the patterns. So you can see that anyone who is
successful is ubset with patterns. And I want to ask you,
whatever industry you're in, whatever place you're in, have you
(10:08):
understood the pattern of the industry? What's the pattern of
the person who gets promoted? What's the pattern of the
person who gets selected. Now, our mind will try and
say things like, Oh, it's just because they've been sucking up. Oh,
it's just because they're the ones who's you know, they've
just been around the longest. All of that may be true,
(10:29):
but challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to observe the pattern. If
you observe the pattern, you will master that place. If
you look at good health, it's a pattern. How much protein,
how much cardio, how much strength training. If you look
at anything you want to be successful at life, learn
the patterns, and learn the patterns from the pattern makers
(10:53):
and observe it. And sometimes don't even listen to what
they say, watch what they do. Do. A lot of us
sit there and we listen to someone teaching us the
pattern when actually, if you want to be the best
pattern reader, watch it. Watch the person do their art masterfully.
That step one. Now, the second step about becoming more
(11:18):
successful and impactful than ninety percent of people is asking
yourself this question. Are you busy but doing all the
wrong things? Think about this for a second. Imagine this.
Two people walk into a room. One sees a handcrafted
desk and thinks that's pretty nice. The other sees the
(11:41):
same desk but gasps, this is a masterpiece. Why do
they have a different reaction? The second person spent two
frustrating hours assembling it from flat pack pieces, cursing over
missing screws, and doing the work. This is known as
the Ikea effect. It hijacks your brain and makes you
(12:05):
believe your effort has magically transformed something ordinary into something extraordinary.
And this isn't just about furniture. It's why parents treasure
their child scribble drawing more than a piece of Picasso's art.
It's why startups cling to ideas others call doomed. It's
(12:26):
why your half baked project feels like a work of art.
Psychologists discovered the Ikea effect through experiments where participants built
simple things like lego models or origami. The shocking result,
people were willing to pay significantly more for the creations
they built, even when they looked objectively worse than a
(12:49):
professional version. Effort plus ownership equals value. And why is that?
Our brains crave meaning and effort creates attachment. The harder
we work on something, the more we feel it's part
of us. Now that's not a bad thing. It means
(13:10):
we should take ownership, we should grow. But here's what
successful people do. They realize that the Ikea effect can
blind us. It makes us cling to bad ideas, dysfunctional relationships,
or failing projects simply because we've poured so much of
ourselves into them. It's a psychological trap. The more effort
(13:33):
you invest, the harder it becomes to let go. So
the next time you find yourself obsessively defending something you've built,
ask yourself, do I love this because it's great or
because I made it? The most successful people in the
world are good at being detached. They're good at quitting something.
They're good at leaving something behind when it isn't great
(13:57):
and they can't make it better. They're not so at
task to their ideas that they think there's only one way.
If this doesn't happen, nothing else will they find another way?
They build another path. They're open to the idea. A
lot of us are too attached to the work we've
put into something that we don't want to work on
(14:19):
building something else. You've studied something for three years and graduated,
so now, even though you have an amazing opportunity to
do something completely different, you feel like you're wasting the
three years. You feel like you're leaving something behind that's valuable.
Rather than feeling the inspiration and excitement of the new
(14:40):
opportunity in front of you, you're letting what's known in
economics as sunk cost bias slow you down. Sunk cost
bias is where you're biased by sunk cost. You've already
invested so much time and energy into something you need
it to become meaningful, to give your life meaning, rather
(15:02):
than recognizing this doesn't serve me anymore, This isn't valuable anymore,
this isn't my goal anymore, and that's okay. I'll give
you an example where I had to practice this. Some
of you may not even know this. Originally, my community
built on Facebook, I have around thirty million followers on Facebook,
(15:22):
which is where I first started as a creator, and
at one point I realized that it wasn't serving me
the content I was creating. The platform was hard to
grow on and I realized I really wanted to launch
a podcast. So here we are. And if I had
said to myself, no, no, no, I'm a facebooker. That's
what I'm known as, that's what I have to do,
I've put in so much effort into this, I would
(15:45):
never be here with you today. So much of what
you'll create tomorrow is when you'll let go of what
you do today. Don't let your attachment hold you back.
I couldn't be more exc to share something truly special
with all you tea lovers out there. And even if
you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling
(16:08):
sodas that are good for you, listen to this RADI
and I poured our hearts into creating Juny sparkling tea
with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your body,
and with every sip, you'll experience calmness of mind, a
refreshing vitality, and a burst of brightness. To your day.
Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances
(16:31):
that act like superheroes for your body to help you
adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life.
Our super five blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, Ushwa, Ganda, acrola,
cherry and Lion's made mushroom and these may help boost
your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine, combat stress,
(16:52):
pack your body with antioxidants and stimulate brain function. Even better,
Juni has zero sugar and only only five calories per can.
We believe in nurturing and energizing your body while enjoying
a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So visit Drinkjuni dot
com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code
(17:14):
on Purpose to receive fifteen percent off your first order.
That's drink ja Uni dot com and make sure you
use the code on purpose now. Step three is something
called the pigmalion effect. What if I told you that
the key to your success isn't just hard work or talent,
(17:36):
but someone else's belief in you. What if their faith
in you could actually shape who you become imagine this.
You're in a classroom and the teacher believes your destined
for greatness. She sees your potential, and without even realizing it,
she starts treating you differently, more encouragement, more attention, more opportunities,
(18:00):
and then something incredible happens. You start to live up
to her expectations. Your grades saw, your confidence grows, and
you begin to believe in yourself more. But here's the twist.
It wasn't just about your ability. It was about the
belief someone else had in you. Welcome to the Pygmalion effect,
(18:22):
a psychological phenomenon where higher expectations lead to better performance.
And this isn't just some motivational theory. It's scientifically proven.
Researchers discovered this by conducting an experiment with students. Teachers
were told that certain students were intellectual boomers, though in
(18:42):
reality these students were picked at random, but by believing
in their potential, those students performed significantly better by the
end of the year. The Pygmalion effect shows how our
expectations shape our reality. When others believe in us, it
shifts our behavior, it boosts our self esteem, and it
(19:05):
unlocks our abilities that we didn't even know we had.
But I know what you're thinking, Jaye, no one believes
in me. Well maybe you've had a coach, a mentor
family member or friend. But I know some of you
are still thinking, JA, don't really have people like that
around me. Well, here's the most amazing thing. The real
(19:25):
power of the Pygmalion effect is it's about your own
belief in yourself. If you start holding yourself to a
higher standard, if you expect more from yourself, you'll start
to see that belief reflected in your actions. Think about
someone like Kobe Bryant who had his Momba mentality. It
(19:46):
was a mentality that he aspired for that he channeled
during a game. It was a belief he had in himself,
a potential that existed. You look at the alter ego
of Beyonce. Sasha fears she knows who she is in
that moment. It allows her to almost be acting out
of a body, to be a different level of herself.
(20:07):
What's the beast mode version of you? What's the version
of you that you aspire to be like? And you
notice you have the potential, but you need to unleash it.
I've thought about this for a long time in my
own life. When I first met my mentor who believed
in me, I'd always say to him, No, I'm not
an entrepreneur. I'm just a creative. I'm just an artist.
(20:29):
I need to work for someone. I can't work for myself.
I'm not an entrepreneur. I would say this to him
again and again and again. Today I realize that I
was wrong. I have the ability to be an entrepreneur.
I have the ability to be a business owner. Why
because I allowed myself to have that vision for myself.
(20:51):
When people don't have a greater vision for you, remember
to hold a greater vision for yourself. Not that you
believe you are those things now, but that you're working towards,
you're aspiring towards all of those things being possible. I
know you can do it. I know it's possible, and
(21:12):
I'm here telling you that. If you've never had someone
in your life tell you they believe in you, here
I am now. I do believe in you. I see
your potential. I notice you're trying. I acknowledge that you
show up here every day every week, and you're ready
for the next level. I want you to start seeing
(21:35):
your future self and aspiring towards them. This next one
is probably my favorite one when it comes to the
things the ten percent do that the ninety percent don't.
And I want you to think about it like this.
Imagine you just learned about a new concept. Maybe it's
a word, a brand, or even a type of food.
(21:57):
It's on your mind, and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere.
You hear it in conversation, you spot it in social media,
and you even see a billboard for it. It's like
the universe is throwing this thing at you from all directions.
It could be numerology. You see eleven eleven everywhere. Literally,
while I'm recording this, it's twelve twenty two and I
(22:19):
just saw two two two. Right. Maybe it's the cyber truck,
the Tesla cyber truck. You've been talking about it, you
now see everywhere in the world. Me and my friend
were talking about the other day how we don't see
a particular color of a particular car. The next thing,
you know, we could see it everywhere. But here's the truth.
It's not happening more. It's just you notice it more. Right,
(22:42):
It's only twelve twenty two or eleven eleven at you
know certain times of the day. It's not happening more often,
but you notice it more. Your brain's playing a trick.
Welcome to what's known as the badder main off phenomenon,
the mind bending illusion, where once you notice something, you
suddenly think it's everywhere. Your brain filters out everything that's irrelevant,
(23:07):
and once it's noticed something, it starts to pay attention
to it more. This makes you believe that it's appearing
all around you, when in reality, your brain's just hyper
focused on it. And this phenomenon happens because of cognitive bias.
Our brains are bombarded with information every second of the day,
(23:27):
so to avoid being overwhelmed, they filter out things that
don't seem important. But the moment something catches your attention,
maybe a new word or idea, your brain suddenly relearns
to look for it, and because you're now hyper aware
of it, it appears to be popping up everywhere, even
though it was always there. So how do you use
(23:50):
this like successful people? Well, let's say you're thinking about
starting a business. You read an icle about entrepreneurship, and boom,
you start noticing entrepreneurship stories everywhere, podcast, YouTube videos, friends
talking about their side gigs. The badder main off effect
has kicked in. It's not that there's more entrepreneurship around you,
(24:11):
it's that your brain is now hyper focused on it.
So whatever it is that you want to find in life,
whatever it is that you want to learn about in life,
plant the seed. Become hyper focused on it, and you'll
see it everywhere. But hey, this also works negatively. If
you think there aren't enough opportunities, you will find proof
(24:33):
around you that there aren't enough opportunities. If you feel
to yourself you're not an entrepreneur, you will see signs
that you're not an entrepreneur. Our mind will latch onto
any idea that we have planted. So the next time
you want to get good at something, plant the thought.
For example, if I want to launch a podcast, let
(24:56):
me think about all the ways in which I be
a good podcast host. Let me notice those things, let
me surround myself with them, and that will develop my confidence.
Whereas if I start noticing all the ways i'm not,
that will als edent my confidence to get started. You
want to use this principle to your advantage. Now I
(25:17):
want to share a couple more with you. This is
a big one. Don't compare your chapter one to someone
else's chapter twenty. Stop measuring your success by others' timelines.
Everyone has their own path and success isn't linear. Focus
on your own journey without getting distracted by others perceived achievements.
(25:43):
Unsuccessful people look at where people are today and wonder
how far they are. Successful people look at and learn
how those people started. They turn envy into study. Instead
of envying where someone is, study where they started. Instead
(26:05):
of envying what someone has, study how they got it.
Instead of envying the life someone's living, study the parts
of their life that are unseen. That's what it takes
to become great. Two more things I wanted to share
with you. You don't need everyone to like you. It's okay
(26:28):
to be misunderstood. Successful people understand that when you're doing
things that are new, fresh, innovative, exciting, it can be
too overwhelming and surprising for others. Your work ethic, your
work rate, your dedication, your discipline might scare people. And
(26:49):
when people are scared, their fear usually comes out as
insecurity or noticing flaws in you. It's not about them,
it's not about you. It's what fear does to people.
You don't need everyone to like you, and you will
never like everyone. That's the reality, and that's the final
(27:13):
step to realize. Some relationships are meant to be short chapters,
not lifelong books. Not every friendship, partnership, or connection is
meant to last forever, and that's okay. Some of us
never grow because we're scared to outgrow the people around us.
Some of us never move forward because we're held back
(27:38):
by the people around us. And some of us never
become who are meant to be because we think we
have to be like the people we're around. It's okay
to let go, It's okay to move on, and to
do it respectfully, gracefully, and kindly. You don't do this
(28:00):
because you think you're better than people. You do this
because you want to be better than who you were yesterday.
I really hope that these principles, actually I know these
principles will transform your life. Let me know when you
tag me in the stories. Which one resonated with you
and I can't wait for you to join in to
another episode. Thank you for listening today. I will see
(28:22):
you on the next one. Remember and forever in your corner,
and I'm always rooting for you. Take care. If you
love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant
on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem
solve in parents and coaches have become more directive and
(28:45):
trying to tell them how the behaviorsus teaching them how
to behave
Host
Jay Shetty
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com