May 23, 2023 • 47 mins
Singer, Actress, Broadway Star and Ferocious Mom, Stephanie Mills, catches up with her friend Rosie O'Donnell. Sharing stories and experiences, about and with their special needs' kids, neither will back down from truth and it makes for a fantastically lively, fun and poignant conversation.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, hello everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and you've found
us again right here wherever you get your podcasts, it's
onward with me, your host, Rosie o'donnald, And I am
so excited to tell you a couple of things that's
been going on in my life before we get to
my big conversation of the day or of the week. Actually,
(00:32):
I got my new car. I got my new car today.
I went and picked it up. You know, the dashboard
is different. It's not a brand I ever had. It's
a land Rover Evoke, that's the name of it. But
it's like it's like a smushed little EO suv. It's
very similar to the Volvo that I had, but I
don't know why, but that's the one we got. So
(00:54):
I'm getting the car and I'm driving it home, and
I am not really sure if the gas tank is
full or on empty because I'm not used to how
it lights up yet. And so there was like a
white line, but then where it said empty, it was
bright red. So I thought, maybe they don't put gas
in a new car when you buy one. I don't know.
(01:16):
I pull into the local gas station and you know,
usually have mild anxiety when I'm doing my pumping on
my own witch in California. You do you know, if
you grew up in Long Island or in New Jersey especially,
they pump the gas for you there. You know. I
enjoy that about New Jersey. So when I pump my
own gas, I have mild anxiety. So I get out
(01:37):
and I do it all right, and I open my
gas little area whatever that's called my gas flap, and
there's an actual top on it. My Volvo was topless.
When you went to put in the gas. There was
no screwing lid thing that goes in. So I thought, oh,
how nice I have a lid here. So I open
the lid and I put in the gas, and I
(01:58):
pick the right you know, octane, and then I put
the little thing down so you don't have to sit
there squeezing it. And after like you know, eight dollars,
it goes eh and it stops. I'm like, that's so weird.
I of course get the pump that's broken, I think,
and I do it again, and it keeps clicking off.
(02:18):
So I go in and there's an older woman in
there working, and I don't think she knows very much
about pumps either. And I was like, isn't there any
anybody else that could help? And she's like, no, no,
I'll help you. And I was like, oh boy. So
we get out there and she goes, oh, it's your
brand new cars and I just drove it off the lot.
She's like, yeah, you know why this isn't working. I
said why, She goes, it's a full tank of gas.
(02:42):
What an idiot? You know. Obviously they had filled up
the tank and so I was lucky that I didn't
overflow my own brand new car and get gas all
over the paint job or whatever. But I don't know.
So it's exciting. It's exciting to have a new car.
I like the new car smell. I'm nervous I'm going
(03:04):
to get in an accident, but I'm usually a little
bit of a nervous driver. If I never had to
drive again, I would not miss it. I really wouldn't.
I'm not one of those people who goes, let's go
on a drive. I'm like, well, i'll go. If you drive,
I can sit and look out the window and play
with the radio. Then I'm pretty good. And speaking of
the radio, we have a singer extraordinary Stephanie Mills, who
(03:31):
as a teenager starred on Broadway as Dorothy in The Whiz.
This was nineteen seventy four. It was right after my
mom died, and I remember I went to see that
show and I was completely blown away. She's so extraordinary.
She's had a wonderful career, and she's had that big
(03:53):
hit in nineteen eighty and never new love like this before.
Now we's lonely now. Remember remember she sings a lot
better than me, especially today with bad allergies out here,
I got some kind of going on. I'm sorry about that, folks. Anyway,
she's here, Stephanie, and she has a son, a special
(04:15):
needs son, and we're going to get into talking all
about our special needs children and what a gift they
have been to both of us. And I love Stephanie Mills.
I love when I see her on different interviews and
she's always speaking about what's going on in public and
what's going on in the country. Do you know equality?
(04:35):
And she's she's a fighter, she's an activist, she's an amazing,
amazing friend and woman. I really really love her very much.
We tape this a couple of weeks ago. So when
we were talking, a lot of tragedy was happening in
that week. Ralph Yarl was shot in the head for
(04:56):
ringing the wrong doorbell waiting to go pick up his
siblings in Missouri, and the woman Kaylin was shot to
death for driving in the wrong driveway in New York.
And Peyton Washington is in the ICU after she was
shot for getting in the wrong car in Texas. A
lot of gun tragedies, and the two Justins were expelled
(05:19):
and then reinstated because they stood for the children who
were picketing and protesting and standing up and saying we've
had enough of these gun deaths in Nashville. And you're
gonna hear us talking about the fact that Trump was
about to face rape allegations and charges. And since then,
(05:40):
as we all know, he has been found guilty of
sexual assault. And yippie for that, people. That's all I
can say. And thanks to Egene Carroll for her bravery
and her commitment to really exposing just how horrible Trump is.
There you have it, folks. But any way, Stephanie Mills
(06:01):
is here and I just love her so much. And
you know that song home When I think of home.
I think of a place where there's love overflowing. I
remember hearing that and hearing her sing that and thinking
what an amazing, amazing woman and song and talent she is.
And she was electrifying on stage. She was magical, and
(06:25):
she's going on tour. She's on tour now through the
new year. You got to go on her website Stephanie
Mills dot com and find out where so you can
go see her. And when you do, give her a
big kiss for me, won't you. Stephanie Mills is here.
Here's the conversation. How are you? I'm so happy to
(06:53):
say that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh, I can't complain.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I was outside.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It might look sweaty because I was outside in my
yard doing stuff just before I came into to do
the interview with you.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's the first nice day in a while.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's not so beautiful outside.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'm ready for someone to be here. I can tell
you that.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm ready for somebody to be here. I was telling
my brother to get me some word. I don't want
him to leave because he knows how to do this. Yeah,
and it goes out, and case it goes out, I
am going to keep him around.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That's that's a good brother to have. You know, my
brother does all my money.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh good, I do all my money.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You're smarter than me.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Well, I have a tax person, but I take my
money to the bank, and you know, I have people
that that advis me.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
But I don't let anybody touch my money.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You know, you're smart. So many people have told me
horror stories, even of family members.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I know, you know, I know it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It really is hard. But I think you know the
fact that we were kind of five parentless kids. You know,
we all kind of have this uh bond where we're
all fused together, like the fingers of the fists, you
know what I mean. We're like you go through a
tough childhood and you almost parent each other in some
kind of way exactly that there were six of us.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I had both my parents, but there were six of us,
three girls and three boys. And you grew up in Brooklyn, right,
I grew up in Brooklyn, Benfitt Steiveson.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah. Different times though.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh my god, it was different times. These times now
are so scary it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Makes it terrifying. Yes, that young boy Ralph shot in
the head by the old man.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I can't even and then the young girl, the young girl,
twenty young girl pulled into the they pulled and they
were leaving and he shot them.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yes, indeed, you know people say it's not the guns,
it's guns, it's it's racism, and it's problem. It is,
That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's it's blatant racism.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh my god, so overt what happened in Tennessee. And
when they kicked out the Justins and I thought, this
is happening in America right now. I'm sixty one years old.
How are we back here?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm sixty six.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
So how you look? You look good stuff? So you
thank you. We haven't we.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Age because we keep it real and we're not you know,
during the pandemic, I thought I wasn't ready for that,
but I found out that I was. But I think
it was the perfect time for people to realize that
they didn't have to go into the office, you know,
every day and do that. And it changed their lives
to know you can survive, right, you know, in a crisis.
(09:24):
And I don't think people really realized that they could.
But now they have all kind of games, you know,
with the how are you going to raise.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
The rent or raise food?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Eggs and everything when people haven't really had jobs coming
out of a pandemic.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Correct, How is that happening? How was that allowed to happen?
How are we not treating people with basic human dignity anymore?
In this country?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Respect and human kindness is at all time low. The industry,
the music industry, everything is at.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Are all time low.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You know, we have.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
All these different movements, but nothing really changes, do you think, ROSSI.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
No, I think, in fact, in so many ways, it's
gone backwards. It's gone backwards that we who we were
ten years old when we got the right to control
our own bodies, and now fifty years later they take
that away from women, and think.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
About the black people. They're trying to really put us
back to being slaves.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
You're not kidding, honey, You are not kidding, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And I tell people that, Neil like, oh, you're crazy.
I'm like, if you don't pay attention to what's going
on in these different cities and the different laws that
they're changing, yes, you are going to be picking cotton.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Honey. I am so with you. It is so unbelievably
systemically racist. Yes, everyone says because the systems don't work. No,
that's how they were built that they bill to do
this right, thank to oppress people and take away morale
and community and dignity and humanity from groups of people.
(11:01):
And and you know, black people in America. I would
be enraged. I'm enraged, and I am white.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
You know, it's not safe to be black in America.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
It's not was it ever?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Really though Stephanie has no, it's never been, agree with you,
but they tried to camouflage it.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
You know, we have the ku klutz Klan in the
office in corporate America. Now, yes, they're not riding around
in hoods, not anymore. And it's so blatant, especially with
that president that we had right which was the worst
thing that ever happened. Oh, oh my god in the
last fifty years.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Oh my god. Yeah, but you know what, I love
what's that?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And I love you to death board when you got
his ass told on the view, Oh I had to, honey,
I had to know when you were like we are
and we are similar age.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
We grew up in New York. We saw him for
the loser. He was exact whole lives exactly. We watched
him try to sell steaks and gin and bed you know,
we knew he never paid his condors, like there were
things that the news knew about him as factual that
they just decided not to report on, and then they
(12:09):
lied to the country for that eight or ten year
period calling him the billionaire. He was never a billionaire.
Forbes would never even put him on their list, call
up with a fake name and pretend to be his
own publicist. This is a psychonically deranged person and always
has been and it shouldn't have been a shock to
anyone in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And Rosie, they just gave those people that seven hundred
and eighty five million dollars because.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes, to Lion, yes that's right. But they did not
force Fox to make a national public apology to own
the fact that they lied to America about facts for
the last fifteen years exactly. And they were in bed
with Donald Trump, and they are in bed with him
still and the horrible forces of the GOP that has
(12:58):
made it destroy itself an organization absolutely what it used
to stand for. It's no longer Democrats against Republicans, it's
Trumpers and everyone else.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yes, it is yes, And to me, he should have
been convicted for January sixth alone.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Even before that, even before what he did. I mean,
it's just amazing to me. How to me, that's the
epitome of white privilege.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
It certainly is such this man. Yes, he's been accused
of sexual inappropriate behavior, including rape, over twenty six times. Yes,
what does it take? People, what does it take? You
have been shown the truth of who this man is,
by his own words, by his own actions, and still
(13:45):
you have willful blindness. I don't understand. It is like
they are in a cult and they need to be
deprogrammed exactly, But they were programmed by professionals. Thank you. Fox. Yes,
Fox News, which is not news, which be stripped of
their news credentials right away.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
I have no respect for our journalists, very few journalists
today because it's all entertainment. It's all totally reality TV.
And yes, it doesn't matter if the story is true
or not correct, just who gets it first, who gets it.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
First, and who can use it to their advantage in
what way?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And you know, nuance is dead. God forbid. You should
bring up a subject that some people find offensive, you
risk being canceled. Yes, you can't even have a civil
debate about issues that you can't cite facts with other
people calling you names, right, you know, it's it's very divisive,
it's very I don't know, I you know, I interviewed
(14:43):
Cheeta Rivera at ninety years old. Why I love Cheetah.
I love her too. She's just the.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Great She's so nice and kind, Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
And such a mother. She has a great mother. She's
got that daughter, Lisa, and it was two of them
against the world. Like you and your baby, Yes, me
and my little ten year old. Yes, is on the
spectrum and so glorious and such a gift that I
can't even begin to describe. That's why. Another reason I
was so happy to talk to you, Yes, because I knew.
(15:14):
I knew about your baby that you had when you
were over forty, right, I had a forty five forty
five and they told you that he would have Down syndrome. Yes,
And tell everybody what your response was.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Well, they told me I was three months pregnant and
they said, you're going to have a special needs child.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
He's going to be Down syndrome.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
They said, do you want to avoid I was like,
absolutely not. I don't care if he has.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
One eye, my baby and I.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I'll go rock this world. There, you go and you
have yes. Yes, I was determined. I mean I mainstreamed
him from kindergarten to the fifth grade. I sent a
teacher with him every day to school. She was a
teacher that worked at the school where he was, and
then she retired to work with Farrad and she went
to school with him every day. But when she couldn't go,
(16:00):
I went. Good for you, mommy, I went because I
was protecting my child. And mothers have to protect your children.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You have to yes.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And I didn't let he's not on any medication. I
didn't let them put him on a whole bunch of
medication to drug him up. No, I was his drug.
I made sure he was right.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And he's an a student, that's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
He writes music, he.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Writes he has a book, yeah, the Adventures of Faraja.
He's working on his next book. That book is almost finished.
But I never let anybody tell me what he couldn't do.
I paid attention to what he could do and what
he naturally gravitated to.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, and that's what I gave him.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
He wanted to play piano, then he wanted to play
He thinks he can play everything.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
He wants to play guitar, and so I'm going to
start him back taking his piano lessons when things kind
of calm down and we're home, because I take him
with me. I don't leave him because Rosie, I would
be in jail if someone hurt my child.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Honey with me, same with me. And I am just
that kind of ferocious mother too. I mean my son blaky.
He had a one on one at a school that
didn't allow it. And my best friend quit her job
teaching and was his one on one all the way
through high school and college. And that was her job.
And she saved this kid as much as I did,
(17:21):
and as much as God did, and as much as
he saved himself. It's it's a he's engaged, he's getting married.
Oh you would? This boy is all heart.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I want to meet him one day.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
I wanted to meet. He comes out the most. He
comes out to visit a lot. So next time we'll
all have dinner. Stay tuned for more with Stephanie Mills.
(17:59):
Now are you still in la or did you know.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I'm in Charlotte. I've been living in Charlotte, North Carolina?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
How long?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
For over thirty something years?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I did not know that.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Stephanie Mills for Rod was born here in Charlotte, North Carolina,
and I just raised him. He's upstairs and he has
a man cave that he's in and he has his
computers and everything.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
He barely runs out and say, you know what he does.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
I feel like I'm Hazel the Maid because he'll come
down and say, mom, I'm hungry, and that's.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Then he's back upstairs in his man cave. But he's
just a joy. He's just yeah, he's just a joy.
People don't really realize that if they pay attention to
their children and just to do what their children naturally
gravitate to, it's it's I don't I don't believe in
handicap or and they're special. They are very special, and
(18:48):
to me that means they need extra special care.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
This baby, when they said at two years old, what
I knew because at one years old she said, Mommy,
I'd been impaled U and I was that was a
from frozen A little Olaf says I've been impaled and
she is a little baby said Mama, I've been impaled.
I was like, what is happening here? You know? And
but when they first told me that she did, in
(19:12):
fact have autism. It felt like I got punched in
the stomach, you know, until you know, last until we
got back in the car, right, you know. And then
I was putting her in the car seat and we
were getting her their favorite toy, and and it was like,
this too is part of my journey, exactly exactly here
we go and thank you. You know, I'm so thankful
(19:32):
for her.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I tell you, it makes you a better person, it
really it really like when I had my child, I
knew what my body was for. I breastsped him for
six months. I said, this is what my body is for.
It's amazing what God has.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Done for us as human beings.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It made us, you know, it's just amazing if we
allow people to be who they are and just show
love and compassion.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yes, and I always you that I would be a mother.
Did you always want to? Or was this the he
always created? But you were working since you're fifteen.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I was working since I was nine ten nine.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh, your first Birdway show, you were eleven.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I was eleven at Magillin, But I was at the
Apollo winning the amateur.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Night before that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Wow, And I did captain Kangaroo and the Electric Company
and all.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Those to the Electric Company. That was my show. That
was my show. Yeah, that in Zoom, remember Zoom.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yes, I've been in this business a long long time
and have seen a lot.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But to think that you started that young and then
to be thrown in, you know, the lead of a
most Tony winning musical at that time. I mean, I
don't remember another Tony Award where they won seven. Yes,
you know seven, But you were seventeen.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I was seventeen years old when I and you know what,
I didn't want to audition for The Whiz because I
had gone up for so many auditions and didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I was like, no, I don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
My mother made me go. I went crying and everything.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And then I had three auditions after that and they
told me I had the role at Dorothy and I
did it.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
For five years.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and I saw you in it, you know, I know,
I know, yes, I used to get the half priced
tickets back when, and there was just starting out when
you were doing The Whiz and you know, Pippin and
all these shows were on.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Oh my god, was it that?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
But you know what, Rosie, I gotta thank you, because
you remember when I did your show and I had
auditioned for rag Time and I didn't get there.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I didn't get it, and you were like, you need
to give her that role.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Well they gave me that role after that, and I
did it for not I did it for nine months
in Chicago, So I want to thank you for that job.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Oh well, Stephanie Mills, you can sing to me any
day or night. I would pay money to see you
do it, no matter where you are. I mean, you
went in there and you sang for your wiz audition
Danny boy.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Was that out of Yes?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I sang Danny boy.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yes, that's such an interesting choice, an Irish like tenor
folk song.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
But I used to listen to all kinds of music
back then and learn all kinds of music because I
love all kinds and I loved Barbara streisand because she
was from Brooklyn and she went to a Rasmus and
my sister and brother went to a Rasmus, so I
was like a fan and I would just listen to
all kinds of songs.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Isn't it wild that we came up in our life
at the time of the success of Barbara streisand like,
know we be Oh my gosh, all of these performers
in our sixties or fifties, you know, fifties that she
was the models, Like when she's sang, I'm the greatest star.
Yes you are, Yes, like it remains to this day.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Right, funny lady, funny girl, funny what's up?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Doc? For Pete's sake, the way we were, Oh, the
way we were, Kate Hubble, Oh my goodness. Now when
you were doing the Whiz and you were seventeen, were
people like that coming to the show?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Did you meet all these people at seventeen?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I met Alan McGaw and Steve McQueen, Oh my gosh,
Jackie o' nassis and Caroline Kennedy, Billy Preston and David Bowie.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Everybody who was anybody came to the show. It was
so amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
But you know what, I was just a little black
girl singing and having fun. I didn't look at it like,
oh my god, I didn't. I just I was having
fun and I was singing because I was always singing
in church. So I was like, this is just another
avenue for me to sing to a.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Well, the thing about your performance. I remember you were
so young, you know what I was like, You're right
around that age. I remember looking at you and thinking,
she has so much joy. Yes, you were filled with
joy in that performance, in your youth and your exist
and I think your nonchalant kind of way of was
so real for playing a kid.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yes, it was surprising you didn't get nominated for a
Tony for that. That was very weird. Well, they didn't like.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Me, really, I mean Clyde Bonds gave me a terrible
review back then, and they.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Didn't like me.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But you know, I never went.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Along with what you're supposed to do in the business
to get ahead, you know what I'm saying. I never, like,
I didn't kiss ass. I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I know how to be professional and do my job right,
but I don't know how to smooth. I never I
never did, and in this business that really counts for a.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Lot, it really does, you know. And I'm never really
a schmoozer either. Whenever I when I would host the
Tony's or the Grammys, I would go home right after
and never go to the party, because I like, I'm
uncomfortable in parties. I people always think, no, you're rosy O'Donnell.
You would be No. I'd rather go home after I
perform than and go and try to talk to the
(25:01):
other performers, because sometimes it's hard. You get tongue tag,
you get nervous, and they're so fake some most of them,
some of them, some of them, you know, and it's
it's interesting. When I left my show, people were like,
why could you leave your shout? And like, I got
sick of talking to only celebrities, you know, it got
to be my world perspective was changed. Here in LA
(25:23):
when you meet someone, they're always in show business, right.
And in New York, where I grew up, where I,
you know, was raised, you'd meet a doctor and a
garbage van and the guy who cleans the sewers, and
a you know, a lawyer right on the bus on
the way to work or school or right. It was
a whole different kind of experience. And I got sick
(25:45):
of just talking to people who only had that one
thing that was important to them. I wanted a bigger
a bigger breach, you know, a bigger You wanted.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Them to talk about something other than the movie or themselves.
But so many people are afraid to talk about politics,
are afraid to talk about what's really going on in
the world. And as I've gotten older, I'm like, I'm
sixty six years old, what can they really do to me?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's exactly what I feel, Steph. That's how I heard
you say that on Charlemagne the God. Oh I heard
you you said it. I was like, cheering you on
from home going. You are exactly right. That's totally how
I feel.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Yeah, it's like, what.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Are they going to do? Here? We are, here, We're
gonna do Yeah, here we are.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
What are they going to do?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's like you have to especially you have a child
and you have children.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I would have loved to have more children.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
And I tried after Arrah because he was so cute,
and I was like, oh, I could do this again,
but I didn't get pregnant. But I just think when
you have a child and you pay attention to what's
going on, it means more. You know. It's like, I
can't just talk about frivolous things, and yes, I want
to say what's really factual, and if I get canceled
(26:57):
or whatever by that, then that's I'm I'm real and
I believe in God, and God gave me my talent.
And people that I knew and was around no longer here, right,
because I feel like they couldn't say no to the
toxic people that were around them, you know, like Michael
all Whitney or and I feel for them, and I
(27:17):
was so sad, you know, when they passed away.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
And I'm still here.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And sometimes I say, why am I still here?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Because I didn't play that game. I wasn't in that circle, right,
and you didn't fall into the gross excess. I had
been in the series last year and it was a
lot of work. It was an hour series. And I
have this ten year old here that I'm got to
be here for, you know, got to be here little
interpreter in the on the planet till she gets her
(27:44):
bearings better, you know. Right. She's very verbal stuff. You
could die laughing from what she says. But she has
specific interests and if you're not in those interests of
her animation object shows that she watches on YouTube and
discusses every aspect of them, Yes to the who wrote them,
what episode, what voice? It's crazy and it's beautiful. And
(28:08):
so I go in with her into the world of
that and there we live happily together.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You know, my son is exactly the same way. He
loves the descendants. He loves all these movies and videos
and he has to have them when he goes on
the road with him. He even sleeps in the bed
with them, like he has his little CDs in life.
But even as a child, he would bring Shrek and
he has all those and Donkey and all of them
to bed with it, right, And I'd be like, oh God,
(28:36):
I got to sleep with all these hard toys. But
I would because that's who he was. You know. We
come in the middle of the night and come into
my room. But it's such a joy because it's normal
and it's natural, and that's what we have.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
To do for our children.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yes, and sometimes you know, I know for so many
mothers of special needs kids like us, you know, we
worry what's going to happen when I'm not here? You know,
are they going to be able to do it on
their own? But you're gonna you know, you can't live
in that fear, right you have to live staying right
here with them in all the fear and pain. You
(29:10):
have to push away.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Right now and and you have to make sure you
have a will and trust and trust them into somebody
that you know will take care of them, and you
will love them. But you, like you say, you have
to leave it alone. And because they're so precious and
they're so innocent, you know, and and he just loves
He doesn't mean a stranger.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
But he can tell when someone's not right. He won't
he won't engage with them.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
It's an interesting talents. Yes, that's a great thing to have.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
He will not engage.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, protective instinct.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I saw him with you on I think a Tamaron
Hall show. Yeah, you were dancing. Oh my god, I
was sobbing. Everybody was crying, the audience, me, you, the kid, everyone,
But it was so it's so beautiful. I love how
he moves. I love his cute face. I love his
style of clothes. He's got such a personality. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
And they told me, they told me he was going
to be disfigured. They said, your child is going to
be disfigured. He's not going to really respond, he won't smile.
What a farce that was?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That was a lie.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
That was a lie. It was that was a blatant
line of blaytant lie, a blatant.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Lie, and we have to really be on the lookout
for those blatant lies, you know. Yeah, And when something
is just a blatant lie, we have to you know,
like they rigged the election was stolen, like our government
Layton Layton lie.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
And how they perpetuated it.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Oh, please, you know it's that that Hitler quote. Do
you tell a lie, tell a big lie, and keep
telling it and people will eventually believe. And that's what
they did. That's like a philosophy of the head Nazi.
And that's what Donald Trump does government. That's what he does. Yeah,
and government, it's not you can't really blame it only
on him, you know. You have to really know that
(31:06):
this government that we've had for the last twenty years
gave us him. So are we doing what are we
doing wrong? And how can we make sure that an
error like this never occurs again?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I know That's what I've been thinking. I'm like, how
can we He cannot get in the White House? I
know that, please, he cannot.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I don't think I don't think that. I really don't
think that's possible, especially because but Rose, there are so
many more indictments coming up.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
But people didn't think he was going to be president
the first.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Time, including me stuff I never thought. I said to
every reporter who would put a camera near me, he
will never be president, And there he was. I don't
really understand how someone could be so innately cruel and
lack basic human compassion and empathy and be the leader
of the free world. How did that happen?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
And it's not just in the United States. They're fighting
it in Israel, right they're fighting for their democracy. They're
fighting in Paris. People are done with what we have
all done exactly to this point. Then it has to
be a radical consciousness shift. Radical. I really wish that
you lived here so we could hang out. Oh, my
(32:17):
kids would probably get along so well. They would get
anybody into computer she wants to talk to. And he
is into computer's folds. He knows how to work all
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Because I could go upstairs and if Rod something is
wrong with this or what, and he'll fix it.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
But when his computer is is well, he'll call Derek.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Derek, my computer is not working. Derek comes over and
fixes it, but he couldn't get it back online.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But he's just amazing. He's he's so special.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Would you say, it's the greatest gift and.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You're the greatest. It's the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I wouldn't change anything about him, nothing.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
And I venture to say, you never knew love like.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
This, And I never never knew ever, never, never, never never.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
When he was a baby, I put that around his
little room when he would sleep in it. But he
never slept in there anyway. You always slept with me.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
But same with Dakota. She's still in my bed.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
She's ten, you know, for Audus twenty two, but he
only comes when he gets sick.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
He'll come and he'll want to sleep in my bed
when he gets sick. But that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's funny. We chose this room, we chose the room
in this house that we're renting, and she chose the
room by the parkway, by the freeway, and you know,
there's like the Pacific Coast Highway right here, right, and
so she always goes in her bed, says good night.
Then ten minutes later she goes it's too much traffic
and gets in my bed. But that's what she does
every night. Every night she realizes it's too much.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
It's too much traffic. That is so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
When I come to LA to do a show, because
I come to do a show, I want you to come.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
When are you're going on tour? When are you going?
I leave?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I leave the end of this month.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Well, Steph, you know I couldn't love you more. I
feel like I've known you my whole life, even though
I watched you on stage and gotten to hang with
you a couple times. But I feel so close to
you when when I see you talking on all these
interviews you do, I'm so cheering you on. You're so
You're inspiring to me, Stephanie Mills. I hope you know that.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
You're inspiring to me because I've watched you all the
time your show, The View. I loved it when you
put people in their place and get them right, because
people don't do that and they're so disrespectful and you
never let them disrespect you, and I like that.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Thank you, Stephanie Mills.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I love you, Rosie, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
This was so great. We'll be back right after this
break with some questions from you the listeners. So we're
(34:53):
back and listen, you the listener, please leave us a
little memo, A question, A thought of feeling whatever you
want on about the show, and we'll get to it
if we can. And we have a couple of you
listeners with your questions and comments. Let's hit it. Hey,
ro It's Patrick in New York City.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
I do have a question, but I wanted to say first,
I saw you at Sweeney Todd the night you were there.
I have a friend in the show too, so we
got to stay after and we were all sort of like,
you know, it's like thirty people milling about in the house,
and I saw you, and I had chills from being
that close to you. I am You're such an icon
and an inspiration and I love you so much. And
(35:32):
of course I wasn't going to bother you and say hello,
because I'm a New Yorker and we don't do that.
But I was looking at you, and I just love
you so much. So here's my question. I was listening
to your conversation with Cameron Manheim about the Chosen Family
and the way you all had kids. My husband and
I adopted our daughter through foster care.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
She came to us at six days old.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
We've been the only parents she's ever known, and but
you know, we've always been open with her about her story,
of course, and we did have some you know, interaction
with her birth parents going through the foster process.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
But only briefly.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
And she is always interested in knowing about her mom,
and of course we have very limited information. She's nine now,
and the other night, now that Mother's Day is coming up,
she asked if we could write a Mother's Day card
to her birth mother, and you know, I kind of
didn't know how to answer. My husband right away said sure,
(36:28):
and I thought, oh wow. You know, his thinking was like,
maybe it'll be like writing a letter to the tooth
Fairy or Santa Claus. You just want to say something
nice and then you never think about it again. I
was thinking, oh god, if she writes like a card
to her birth mother, she's going to expect a response.
And so I said, well, sweetheart, you know, we're not
in contact with your birth mother. And we talked a
little bit about the birth mom, you know, again all
(36:49):
the same few things we know about her, and of
course made it clear that she can always ask us
any questions about it. But I'm curious your thoughts on this.
She's nine, She's not old enough to really have a
full conversation with about why she was, you know, in
foster care, why she came to us, why you know
her parents weren't.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Able to raise her.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
And I guess my question is just what's your advice
on how to proceed in this conversation in instances like that?
Your parenting role model and inspiration for me you always have been.
I love you so so so much. Thank you for
making this podcast. I love that I get to hear
your voice every week. All right, thanks Roe?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Oh God, I love you so much. I feel like
I know you first of all the way you said
hey Roe, I'm like, that's my buddy right there. I
wish you would have come over to me after seeing
Sweeney Todd and you know, Barry Manilow was there too.
Wasn't that a magically brilliant show? Every performance was pitch perfect?
That Annalie Ashford should win every award known to man,
(37:51):
and Josh Grobin is just a genius. And I hope
that they both get the trophies and the accolades that
they deserve because they're just so brilliant. Now, what a
wonderful kind of story and question about your daughter. I
have always felt that honesty is the best policy and
having a mother who left not on her own volition,
(38:14):
but you know, there is that abandonment that kids feel,
especially when they're too young to fully understand death and
the transient nature of life itself. One promise that the
world keeps to everyone is you're going to die one day.
You know, that's the only promise that we all get,
and that never ever changes. And so I would be
(38:36):
immensely curious if there was a way that I could
possibly talk to my mom. And I know my mom
died and it's a different thing, but that sort of
allowed me the freedom and the understanding of just how
deep that primal wound of adoption is for children, and
(38:57):
how it's our job as their pa parents to tell
them that their parents loved them, they loved them, and
they weren't able to be parents because they weren't ready
and prepared, and that you were wanted and they did
want you, and they do care about you and love you.
(39:18):
They're not in our family right now, but when you
get to be a grown up and you're an adult,
you can have any kind of conversation that you want
with your birth mother. Strangely enough, the only one who
ever really asked to speak to their birth parents when
they were young, which is what your child has done.
(39:39):
Was Dakota when she was five. She was very, very
verbal since she was little, and she often had questions
about her tummy. Lady. That's what I call the birth moms.
When my kids were little, I said, you grew in
another lady's tummy, and that's your tummy, mommy, and your
tummy lady, and she carried you, and she knew that
(40:00):
she wasn't able to be a mommy, and so God
looked in the tummy and found you your right match
for your mommy. And that's me. That's what I always
told my kid. But at five years old, Dakota asked
to speak to her birth mother. So I got in
touch with her, and that was an open adoption. My
other adoptions were closed because twenty something years ago it
was done very differently than it's done now. She wanted
(40:23):
to speak to her birth mother. Now, the birth mother
didn't have a phone that could do FaceTime. Dakota could
see the birth mother, but she talked into the phone
and saw an image of her, and she said, Hi,
do you remember me. I'm the baby that was in
your tummy. I just wanted you to know that when
I got born, my mommy held my hand and I
(40:46):
grabbed her pinky and I wouldn't let it go. And
that's my mommy and that's where I am now. And
I just wanted to tell you that, so you know,
thanks by, And she walked away, she said, which you
needed to say, walked away and has never really brought
it up again. And it's a hard concept, but you
have to realize when you adopt, even from foster care,
(41:09):
in any way you adopt a child, there's been a
tragedy that precipitated your union. There's a tragedy there. There's
a wound and an abandonment and a feeling that adoptees
have often of being displaced, of not fitting in anywhere,
of not knowing who they are or what their origin
(41:31):
story really is. So I would encourage her. I would
encourage her, and I would get some books and read
books about adoption to her and have her write down
her feelings. And like your husband said, you know, the
answer to that question, can I write a Mother's daycard
to my birth mother? Is yes, you certainly can. And
(41:51):
then you're going to promise to try to get it
to her, but whether or not you still have the
ability to do that, and if you can't send it
to her, that you keep them for your daughter for
when she gets older, or you keep a copy so
that she can have an understanding of her yearnings and
her desire to get to know that part of her
(42:11):
life of herself. It's not really about you. It's about
the child. It's not about whether or not you had
feelings of rejection or competition or that's what you feel
is really irrelevant. It's what the child feels and how
you can best provide a safe environment for them to
share their feelings in life with you about such a deep,
(42:35):
deep issue. Good for you, honey. You got any more questions,
send them my way. I'd love to hear what happens.
I'd love to hear what went down with all of that,
and how did Mother's Day go for you boys? And
congratulations and next time, give me a big hug when
you see me on Broadway. Okay, all right, we got
(42:58):
another question. Here we go. Hit it.
Speaker 4 (43:01):
Hi, Rosie, my name's Kate. I just listened to your
Ricky Lake episode and in it you talked about Melissa
Ethridge's off Broadway show In New York. I actually ran
into you there, and you and your friend were so
kind to talk to me for a minute about teaching. Anyway,
my question is about music. I remember on your TV
show you had Melissa Ethridge on the show and you
(43:24):
played drums. Well, she's saying enough of me, and I
think the joke of the episode was like that she
was letting you play the drums even though you didn't
know how, and I don't know, it seemed to me
like you did know how, and so I was just wondering, like,
how did you learn how to play the drums or
any other instruments, And what's your relationship with music like
(43:49):
these days? What have you been listening to? Thanks Rosie,
and thanks so much for talking to me that day.
It meant a lot. You mean a lot.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Well, thank you. That's so sweet. Yes, I do know
how to play the drums. I wanted to take drums
when I was in elementary school, and my mother said
I couldn't because it was a boy's thing to do.
And then she went in the hospital and so I
forged the permission slip and I took percussion and she
(44:19):
found out about it when she was ill and had
not long to live and she was definitely not happy.
And my older brother Eddie said, you know, it's not drums,
it's percussion, and she said, do you think I'm stupid?
You know? I remember, I remember she got angry, you know,
but the fact that she didn't want me to do
it made me practice every single day because I wanted
(44:40):
to get really good at it. I wanted to tell
her about it when when she came back. So the
joke with Melissa is that I always ask can I
sing back up? Can I play drums for you? But,
like you know, serious musicians, that's kind of insulting to say,
you know, can I play uh with you? But you know,
(45:02):
my friend Cindy Lauper, let's be go on tour and
play drums with her. And Melissa has allowed me on
TV and Wainona has let me sing back up with her.
And those are the people I love. I love their music.
I love Joni Mitchell. A. Music has been a huge
part of my life and career and just part of
(45:23):
my artistry. Like the music is always underscoring everything. And
my favorite, of course is Joni Mitchell. She scores the
emotional truth of my life. That woman has so there
you go and listen. Next week, we have something special
for you. A rapper who's like thirty three years old
(45:47):
and he's one of the biggest rappers in the world.
He goes by the name Logic. His real name is
Bobby and he is the nicest, the most talented, the kindest,
the sweetest guy. And his records, I mean, that's how
you know. I'm old. His CDs, his albums is whatever.
(46:11):
His music is just so remarkable. And I didn't know
who he was. I met him at a restaurant. He
paid for my dinner, and I never got to say
hello to him. And now we met people who knew
people each other, and here he is talking to me,
and I was so excited to get to really discover him.
(46:33):
And he's been out for a long time and I
should have known who he was, but I did not.
But god do I love this guy. I love him
And he's next week right here on onward with Rosie O'Donnell.
Thank you all for checking us out and for downloading.
I appreciate you doing that for us, So thank you all,
and we'll catch you next Tuesday with Logic.
Well, hello everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and you've found
us again right here wherever you get your podcasts, it's
onward with me, your host, Rosie o'donnald, And I am
so excited to tell you a couple of things that's
been going on in my life before we get to
my big conversation of the day or of the week. Actually,
(00:32):
I got my new car. I got my new car today.
I went and picked it up. You know, the dashboard
is different. It's not a brand I ever had. It's
a land Rover Evoke, that's the name of it. But
it's like it's like a smushed little EO suv. It's
very similar to the Volvo that I had, but I
don't know why, but that's the one we got. So
(00:54):
I'm getting the car and I'm driving it home, and
I am not really sure if the gas tank is
full or on empty because I'm not used to how
it lights up yet. And so there was like a
white line, but then where it said empty, it was
bright red. So I thought, maybe they don't put gas
in a new car when you buy one. I don't know.
(01:16):
I pull into the local gas station and you know,
usually have mild anxiety when I'm doing my pumping on
my own witch in California. You do you know, if
you grew up in Long Island or in New Jersey especially,
they pump the gas for you there. You know. I
enjoy that about New Jersey. So when I pump my
own gas, I have mild anxiety. So I get out
(01:37):
and I do it all right, and I open my
gas little area whatever that's called my gas flap, and
there's an actual top on it. My Volvo was topless.
When you went to put in the gas. There was
no screwing lid thing that goes in. So I thought, oh,
how nice I have a lid here. So I open
the lid and I put in the gas, and I
(01:58):
pick the right you know, octane, and then I put
the little thing down so you don't have to sit
there squeezing it. And after like you know, eight dollars,
it goes eh and it stops. I'm like, that's so weird.
I of course get the pump that's broken, I think,
and I do it again, and it keeps clicking off.
(02:18):
So I go in and there's an older woman in
there working, and I don't think she knows very much
about pumps either. And I was like, isn't there any
anybody else that could help? And she's like, no, no,
I'll help you. And I was like, oh boy. So
we get out there and she goes, oh, it's your
brand new cars and I just drove it off the lot.
She's like, yeah, you know why this isn't working. I
said why, She goes, it's a full tank of gas.
(02:42):
What an idiot? You know. Obviously they had filled up
the tank and so I was lucky that I didn't
overflow my own brand new car and get gas all
over the paint job or whatever. But I don't know.
So it's exciting. It's exciting to have a new car.
I like the new car smell. I'm nervous I'm going
(03:04):
to get in an accident, but I'm usually a little
bit of a nervous driver. If I never had to
drive again, I would not miss it. I really wouldn't.
I'm not one of those people who goes, let's go
on a drive. I'm like, well, i'll go. If you drive,
I can sit and look out the window and play
with the radio. Then I'm pretty good. And speaking of
the radio, we have a singer extraordinary Stephanie Mills, who
(03:31):
as a teenager starred on Broadway as Dorothy in The Whiz.
This was nineteen seventy four. It was right after my
mom died, and I remember I went to see that
show and I was completely blown away. She's so extraordinary.
She's had a wonderful career, and she's had that big
(03:53):
hit in nineteen eighty and never new love like this before.
Now we's lonely now. Remember remember she sings a lot
better than me, especially today with bad allergies out here,
I got some kind of going on. I'm sorry about that, folks. Anyway,
she's here, Stephanie, and she has a son, a special
(04:15):
needs son, and we're going to get into talking all
about our special needs children and what a gift they
have been to both of us. And I love Stephanie Mills.
I love when I see her on different interviews and
she's always speaking about what's going on in public and
what's going on in the country. Do you know equality?
(04:35):
And she's she's a fighter, she's an activist, she's an amazing,
amazing friend and woman. I really really love her very much.
We tape this a couple of weeks ago. So when
we were talking, a lot of tragedy was happening in
that week. Ralph Yarl was shot in the head for
(04:56):
ringing the wrong doorbell waiting to go pick up his
siblings in Missouri, and the woman Kaylin was shot to
death for driving in the wrong driveway in New York.
And Peyton Washington is in the ICU after she was
shot for getting in the wrong car in Texas. A
lot of gun tragedies, and the two Justins were expelled
(05:19):
and then reinstated because they stood for the children who
were picketing and protesting and standing up and saying we've
had enough of these gun deaths in Nashville. And you're
gonna hear us talking about the fact that Trump was
about to face rape allegations and charges. And since then,
(05:40):
as we all know, he has been found guilty of
sexual assault. And yippie for that, people. That's all I
can say. And thanks to Egene Carroll for her bravery
and her commitment to really exposing just how horrible Trump is.
There you have it, folks. But any way, Stephanie Mills
(06:01):
is here and I just love her so much. And
you know that song home When I think of home.
I think of a place where there's love overflowing. I
remember hearing that and hearing her sing that and thinking
what an amazing, amazing woman and song and talent she is.
And she was electrifying on stage. She was magical, and
(06:25):
she's going on tour. She's on tour now through the
new year. You got to go on her website Stephanie
Mills dot com and find out where so you can
go see her. And when you do, give her a
big kiss for me, won't you. Stephanie Mills is here.
Here's the conversation. How are you? I'm so happy to
(06:53):
say that.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh, I can't complain.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I was outside.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It might look sweaty because I was outside in my
yard doing stuff just before I came into to do
the interview with you.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's the first nice day in a while.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
It's not so beautiful outside.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I'm ready for someone to be here. I can tell
you that.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I'm ready for somebody to be here. I was telling
my brother to get me some word. I don't want
him to leave because he knows how to do this. Yeah,
and it goes out, and case it goes out, I
am going to keep him around.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That's that's a good brother to have. You know, my
brother does all my money.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh good, I do all my money.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You're smarter than me.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Well, I have a tax person, but I take my
money to the bank, and you know, I have people
that that advis me.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
But I don't let anybody touch my money.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You know, you're smart. So many people have told me
horror stories, even of family members.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I know, you know, I know it's so hard.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It really is hard. But I think you know the
fact that we were kind of five parentless kids. You know,
we all kind of have this uh bond where we're
all fused together, like the fingers of the fists, you
know what I mean. We're like you go through a
tough childhood and you almost parent each other in some
kind of way exactly that there were six of us.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I had both my parents, but there were six of us,
three girls and three boys. And you grew up in Brooklyn, right,
I grew up in Brooklyn, Benfitt Steiveson.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah. Different times though.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh my god, it was different times. These times now
are so scary it.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Makes it terrifying. Yes, that young boy Ralph shot in
the head by the old man.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I can't even and then the young girl, the young girl,
twenty young girl pulled into the they pulled and they
were leaving and he shot them.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yes, indeed, you know people say it's not the guns,
it's guns, it's it's racism, and it's problem. It is,
That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's it's blatant racism.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Oh my god, so overt what happened in Tennessee. And
when they kicked out the Justins and I thought, this
is happening in America right now. I'm sixty one years old.
How are we back here?
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm sixty six.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
So how you look? You look good stuff? So you
thank you. We haven't we.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Age because we keep it real and we're not you know,
during the pandemic, I thought I wasn't ready for that,
but I found out that I was. But I think
it was the perfect time for people to realize that
they didn't have to go into the office, you know,
every day and do that. And it changed their lives
to know you can survive, right, you know, in a crisis.
(09:24):
And I don't think people really realized that they could.
But now they have all kind of games, you know,
with the how are you going to raise.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
The rent or raise food?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Eggs and everything when people haven't really had jobs coming
out of a pandemic.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Correct, How is that happening? How was that allowed to happen?
How are we not treating people with basic human dignity anymore?
In this country?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Respect and human kindness is at all time low. The industry,
the music industry, everything is at.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Are all time low.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You know, we have.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
All these different movements, but nothing really changes, do you think, ROSSI.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
No, I think, in fact, in so many ways, it's
gone backwards. It's gone backwards that we who we were
ten years old when we got the right to control
our own bodies, and now fifty years later they take
that away from women, and think.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
About the black people. They're trying to really put us
back to being slaves.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
You're not kidding, honey, You are not kidding, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And I tell people that, Neil like, oh, you're crazy.
I'm like, if you don't pay attention to what's going
on in these different cities and the different laws that
they're changing, yes, you are going to be picking cotton.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Honey. I am so with you. It is so unbelievably
systemically racist. Yes, everyone says because the systems don't work. No,
that's how they were built that they bill to do
this right, thank to oppress people and take away morale
and community and dignity and humanity from groups of people.
(11:01):
And and you know, black people in America. I would
be enraged. I'm enraged, and I am white.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
You know, it's not safe to be black in America.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
It's not was it ever?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Really though Stephanie has no, it's never been, agree with you,
but they tried to camouflage it.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
You know, we have the ku klutz Klan in the
office in corporate America. Now, yes, they're not riding around
in hoods, not anymore. And it's so blatant, especially with
that president that we had right which was the worst
thing that ever happened. Oh, oh my god in the
last fifty years.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Oh my god. Yeah, but you know what, I love
what's that?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And I love you to death board when you got
his ass told on the view, Oh I had to, honey,
I had to know when you were like we are
and we are similar age.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
We grew up in New York. We saw him for
the loser. He was exact whole lives exactly. We watched
him try to sell steaks and gin and bed you know,
we knew he never paid his condors, like there were
things that the news knew about him as factual that
they just decided not to report on, and then they
(12:09):
lied to the country for that eight or ten year
period calling him the billionaire. He was never a billionaire.
Forbes would never even put him on their list, call
up with a fake name and pretend to be his
own publicist. This is a psychonically deranged person and always
has been and it shouldn't have been a shock to
anyone in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And Rosie, they just gave those people that seven hundred
and eighty five million dollars because.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes, to Lion, yes that's right. But they did not
force Fox to make a national public apology to own
the fact that they lied to America about facts for
the last fifteen years exactly. And they were in bed
with Donald Trump, and they are in bed with him
still and the horrible forces of the GOP that has
(12:58):
made it destroy itself an organization absolutely what it used
to stand for. It's no longer Democrats against Republicans, it's
Trumpers and everyone else.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yes, it is yes, And to me, he should have
been convicted for January sixth alone.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Even before that, even before what he did. I mean,
it's just amazing to me. How to me, that's the
epitome of white privilege.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
It certainly is such this man. Yes, he's been accused
of sexual inappropriate behavior, including rape, over twenty six times. Yes,
what does it take? People, what does it take? You
have been shown the truth of who this man is,
by his own words, by his own actions, and still
(13:45):
you have willful blindness. I don't understand. It is like
they are in a cult and they need to be
deprogrammed exactly, But they were programmed by professionals. Thank you. Fox. Yes,
Fox News, which is not news, which be stripped of
their news credentials right away.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
I have no respect for our journalists, very few journalists
today because it's all entertainment. It's all totally reality TV.
And yes, it doesn't matter if the story is true
or not correct, just who gets it first, who gets it.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
First, and who can use it to their advantage in
what way?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Exactly?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And you know, nuance is dead. God forbid. You should
bring up a subject that some people find offensive, you
risk being canceled. Yes, you can't even have a civil
debate about issues that you can't cite facts with other
people calling you names, right, you know, it's it's very divisive,
it's very I don't know, I you know, I interviewed
(14:43):
Cheeta Rivera at ninety years old. Why I love Cheetah.
I love her too. She's just the.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Great She's so nice and kind, Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
And such a mother. She has a great mother. She's
got that daughter, Lisa, and it was two of them
against the world. Like you and your baby, Yes, me
and my little ten year old. Yes, is on the
spectrum and so glorious and such a gift that I
can't even begin to describe. That's why. Another reason I
was so happy to talk to you, Yes, because I knew.
(15:14):
I knew about your baby that you had when you
were over forty, right, I had a forty five forty
five and they told you that he would have Down syndrome. Yes,
And tell everybody what your response was.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Well, they told me I was three months pregnant and
they said, you're going to have a special needs child.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
He's going to be Down syndrome.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
They said, do you want to avoid I was like,
absolutely not. I don't care if he has.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
One eye, my baby and I.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I'll go rock this world. There, you go and you
have yes. Yes, I was determined. I mean I mainstreamed
him from kindergarten to the fifth grade. I sent a
teacher with him every day to school. She was a
teacher that worked at the school where he was, and
then she retired to work with Farrad and she went
to school with him every day. But when she couldn't go,
(16:00):
I went. Good for you, mommy, I went because I
was protecting my child. And mothers have to protect your children.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You have to yes.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And I didn't let he's not on any medication. I
didn't let them put him on a whole bunch of
medication to drug him up. No, I was his drug.
I made sure he was right.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's interesting.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And he's an a student, that's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
He writes music, he.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Writes he has a book, yeah, the Adventures of Faraja.
He's working on his next book. That book is almost finished.
But I never let anybody tell me what he couldn't do.
I paid attention to what he could do and what
he naturally gravitated to.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, and that's what I gave him.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
He wanted to play piano, then he wanted to play
He thinks he can play everything.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
He wants to play guitar, and so I'm going to
start him back taking his piano lessons when things kind
of calm down and we're home, because I take him
with me. I don't leave him because Rosie, I would
be in jail if someone hurt my child.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Honey with me, same with me. And I am just
that kind of ferocious mother too. I mean my son blaky.
He had a one on one at a school that
didn't allow it. And my best friend quit her job
teaching and was his one on one all the way
through high school and college. And that was her job.
And she saved this kid as much as I did,
(17:21):
and as much as God did, and as much as
he saved himself. It's it's a he's engaged, he's getting married.
Oh you would? This boy is all heart.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I want to meet him one day.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
I wanted to meet. He comes out the most. He
comes out to visit a lot. So next time we'll
all have dinner. Stay tuned for more with Stephanie Mills.
(17:59):
Now are you still in la or did you know.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I'm in Charlotte. I've been living in Charlotte, North Carolina?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
How long?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
For over thirty something years?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I did not know that.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Stephanie Mills for Rod was born here in Charlotte, North Carolina,
and I just raised him. He's upstairs and he has
a man cave that he's in and he has his
computers and everything.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
He barely runs out and say, you know what he does.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
I feel like I'm Hazel the Maid because he'll come
down and say, mom, I'm hungry, and that's.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Then he's back upstairs in his man cave. But he's
just a joy. He's just yeah, he's just a joy.
People don't really realize that if they pay attention to
their children and just to do what their children naturally
gravitate to, it's it's I don't I don't believe in
handicap or and they're special. They are very special, and
(18:48):
to me that means they need extra special care.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
This baby, when they said at two years old, what
I knew because at one years old she said, Mommy,
I'd been impaled U and I was that was a
from frozen A little Olaf says I've been impaled and
she is a little baby said Mama, I've been impaled.
I was like, what is happening here? You know? And
but when they first told me that she did, in
(19:12):
fact have autism. It felt like I got punched in
the stomach, you know, until you know, last until we
got back in the car, right, you know. And then
I was putting her in the car seat and we
were getting her their favorite toy, and and it was like,
this too is part of my journey, exactly exactly here
we go and thank you. You know, I'm so thankful
(19:32):
for her.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
I tell you, it makes you a better person, it
really it really like when I had my child, I
knew what my body was for. I breastsped him for
six months. I said, this is what my body is for.
It's amazing what God has.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Done for us as human beings.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
It made us, you know, it's just amazing if we
allow people to be who they are and just show
love and compassion.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yes, and I always you that I would be a mother.
Did you always want to? Or was this the he
always created? But you were working since you're fifteen.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I was working since I was nine ten nine.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh, your first Birdway show, you were eleven.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I was eleven at Magillin, But I was at the
Apollo winning the amateur.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Night before that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Wow, And I did captain Kangaroo and the Electric Company
and all.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Those to the Electric Company. That was my show. That
was my show. Yeah, that in Zoom, remember Zoom.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yes, I've been in this business a long long time
and have seen a lot.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But to think that you started that young and then
to be thrown in, you know, the lead of a
most Tony winning musical at that time. I mean, I
don't remember another Tony Award where they won seven. Yes,
you know seven, But you were seventeen.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I was seventeen years old when I and you know what,
I didn't want to audition for The Whiz because I
had gone up for so many auditions and didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So I was like, no, I don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
My mother made me go. I went crying and everything.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And then I had three auditions after that and they
told me I had the role at Dorothy and I
did it.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
For five years.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and I saw you in it, you know, I know,
I know, yes, I used to get the half priced
tickets back when, and there was just starting out when
you were doing The Whiz and you know, Pippin and
all these shows were on.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Oh my god, was it that?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
But you know what, Rosie, I gotta thank you, because
you remember when I did your show and I had
auditioned for rag Time and I didn't get there.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
I didn't get it, and you were like, you need
to give her that role.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Well they gave me that role after that, and I
did it for not I did it for nine months
in Chicago, So I want to thank you for that job.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Oh well, Stephanie Mills, you can sing to me any
day or night. I would pay money to see you
do it, no matter where you are. I mean, you
went in there and you sang for your wiz audition
Danny boy.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Was that out of Yes?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I sang Danny boy.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Yes, that's such an interesting choice, an Irish like tenor
folk song.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
But I used to listen to all kinds of music
back then and learn all kinds of music because I
love all kinds and I loved Barbara streisand because she
was from Brooklyn and she went to a Rasmus and
my sister and brother went to a Rasmus, so I
was like a fan and I would just listen to
all kinds of songs.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Isn't it wild that we came up in our life
at the time of the success of Barbara streisand like,
know we be Oh my gosh, all of these performers
in our sixties or fifties, you know, fifties that she
was the models, Like when she's sang, I'm the greatest star.
Yes you are, Yes, like it remains to this day.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Right, funny lady, funny girl, funny what's up?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Doc? For Pete's sake, the way we were, Oh, the
way we were, Kate Hubble, Oh my goodness. Now when
you were doing the Whiz and you were seventeen, were
people like that coming to the show?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Did you meet all these people at seventeen?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I met Alan McGaw and Steve McQueen, Oh my gosh,
Jackie o' nassis and Caroline Kennedy, Billy Preston and David Bowie.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Everybody who was anybody came to the show. It was
so amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
But you know what, I was just a little black
girl singing and having fun. I didn't look at it like,
oh my god, I didn't. I just I was having
fun and I was singing because I was always singing
in church. So I was like, this is just another
avenue for me to sing to a.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Lot of people.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Well, the thing about your performance. I remember you were
so young, you know what I was like, You're right
around that age. I remember looking at you and thinking,
she has so much joy. Yes, you were filled with
joy in that performance, in your youth and your exist
and I think your nonchalant kind of way of was
so real for playing a kid.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Yes, it was surprising you didn't get nominated for a
Tony for that. That was very weird. Well, they didn't like.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Me, really, I mean Clyde Bonds gave me a terrible
review back then, and they.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Didn't like me.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But you know, I never went.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Along with what you're supposed to do in the business
to get ahead, you know what I'm saying. I never, like,
I didn't kiss ass. I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I know how to be professional and do my job right,
but I don't know how to smooth. I never I
never did, and in this business that really counts for a.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Lot, it really does, you know. And I'm never really
a schmoozer either. Whenever I when I would host the
Tony's or the Grammys, I would go home right after
and never go to the party, because I like, I'm
uncomfortable in parties. I people always think, no, you're rosy O'Donnell.
You would be No. I'd rather go home after I
perform than and go and try to talk to the
(25:01):
other performers, because sometimes it's hard. You get tongue tag,
you get nervous, and they're so fake some most of them,
some of them, some of them, you know, and it's
it's interesting. When I left my show, people were like,
why could you leave your shout? And like, I got
sick of talking to only celebrities, you know, it got
to be my world perspective was changed. Here in LA
(25:23):
when you meet someone, they're always in show business, right.
And in New York, where I grew up, where I,
you know, was raised, you'd meet a doctor and a
garbage van and the guy who cleans the sewers, and
a you know, a lawyer right on the bus on
the way to work or school or right. It was
a whole different kind of experience. And I got sick
(25:45):
of just talking to people who only had that one
thing that was important to them. I wanted a bigger
a bigger breach, you know, a bigger You wanted.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Them to talk about something other than the movie or themselves.
But so many people are afraid to talk about politics,
are afraid to talk about what's really going on in
the world. And as I've gotten older, I'm like, I'm
sixty six years old, what can they really do to me?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's exactly what I feel, Steph. That's how I heard
you say that on Charlemagne the God. Oh I heard
you you said it. I was like, cheering you on
from home going. You are exactly right. That's totally how
I feel.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Yeah, it's like, what.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Are they going to do? Here? We are, here, We're
gonna do Yeah, here we are.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
What are they going to do?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's like you have to especially you have a child
and you have children.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I would have loved to have more children.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
And I tried after Arrah because he was so cute,
and I was like, oh, I could do this again,
but I didn't get pregnant. But I just think when
you have a child and you pay attention to what's
going on, it means more. You know. It's like, I
can't just talk about frivolous things, and yes, I want
to say what's really factual, and if I get canceled
(26:57):
or whatever by that, then that's I'm I'm real and
I believe in God, and God gave me my talent.
And people that I knew and was around no longer here, right,
because I feel like they couldn't say no to the
toxic people that were around them, you know, like Michael
all Whitney or and I feel for them, and I
(27:17):
was so sad, you know, when they passed away.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
And I'm still here.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And sometimes I say, why am I still here?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Because I didn't play that game. I wasn't in that circle, right,
and you didn't fall into the gross excess. I had
been in the series last year and it was a
lot of work. It was an hour series. And I
have this ten year old here that I'm got to
be here for, you know, got to be here little
interpreter in the on the planet till she gets her
(27:44):
bearings better, you know. Right. She's very verbal stuff. You
could die laughing from what she says. But she has
specific interests and if you're not in those interests of
her animation object shows that she watches on YouTube and
discusses every aspect of them, Yes to the who wrote them,
what episode, what voice? It's crazy and it's beautiful. And
(28:08):
so I go in with her into the world of
that and there we live happily together.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
You know, my son is exactly the same way. He
loves the descendants. He loves all these movies and videos
and he has to have them when he goes on
the road with him. He even sleeps in the bed
with them, like he has his little CDs in life.
But even as a child, he would bring Shrek and
he has all those and Donkey and all of them
to bed with it, right, And I'd be like, oh God,
(28:36):
I got to sleep with all these hard toys. But
I would because that's who he was. You know. We
come in the middle of the night and come into
my room. But it's such a joy because it's normal
and it's natural, and that's what we have.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
To do for our children.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yes, and sometimes you know, I know for so many
mothers of special needs kids like us, you know, we
worry what's going to happen when I'm not here? You know,
are they going to be able to do it on
their own? But you're gonna you know, you can't live
in that fear, right you have to live staying right
here with them in all the fear and pain. You
(29:10):
have to push away.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Right now and and you have to make sure you
have a will and trust and trust them into somebody
that you know will take care of them, and you
will love them. But you, like you say, you have
to leave it alone. And because they're so precious and
they're so innocent, you know, and and he just loves
He doesn't mean a stranger.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
But he can tell when someone's not right. He won't
he won't engage with them.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
It's an interesting talents. Yes, that's a great thing to have.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
He will not engage.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, protective instinct.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I saw him with you on I think a Tamaron
Hall show. Yeah, you were dancing. Oh my god, I
was sobbing. Everybody was crying, the audience, me, you, the kid, everyone,
But it was so it's so beautiful. I love how
he moves. I love his cute face. I love his
style of clothes. He's got such a personality. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
And they told me, they told me he was going
to be disfigured. They said, your child is going to
be disfigured. He's not going to really respond, he won't smile.
What a farce that was?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That was a lie.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
That was a lie. It was that was a blatant
line of blaytant lie, a blatant.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Lie, and we have to really be on the lookout
for those blatant lies, you know. Yeah, And when something
is just a blatant lie, we have to you know,
like they rigged the election was stolen, like our government
Layton Layton lie.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
And how they perpetuated it.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Oh, please, you know it's that that Hitler quote. Do
you tell a lie, tell a big lie, and keep
telling it and people will eventually believe. And that's what
they did. That's like a philosophy of the head Nazi.
And that's what Donald Trump does government. That's what he does. Yeah,
and government, it's not you can't really blame it only
on him, you know. You have to really know that
(31:06):
this government that we've had for the last twenty years
gave us him. So are we doing what are we
doing wrong? And how can we make sure that an
error like this never occurs again?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
I know That's what I've been thinking. I'm like, how
can we He cannot get in the White House? I
know that, please, he cannot.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I don't think I don't think that. I really don't
think that's possible, especially because but Rose, there are so
many more indictments coming up.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
But people didn't think he was going to be president
the first.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Time, including me stuff I never thought. I said to
every reporter who would put a camera near me, he
will never be president, And there he was. I don't
really understand how someone could be so innately cruel and
lack basic human compassion and empathy and be the leader
of the free world. How did that happen?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
And it's not just in the United States. They're fighting
it in Israel, right they're fighting for their democracy. They're
fighting in Paris. People are done with what we have
all done exactly to this point. Then it has to
be a radical consciousness shift. Radical. I really wish that
you lived here so we could hang out. Oh, my
(32:17):
kids would probably get along so well. They would get
anybody into computer she wants to talk to. And he
is into computer's folds. He knows how to work all
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Because I could go upstairs and if Rod something is
wrong with this or what, and he'll fix it.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
But when his computer is is well, he'll call Derek.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Derek, my computer is not working. Derek comes over and
fixes it, but he couldn't get it back online.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
But he's just amazing. He's he's so special.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Would you say, it's the greatest gift and.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You're the greatest. It's the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I wouldn't change anything about him, nothing.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
And I venture to say, you never knew love like.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
This, And I never never knew ever, never, never, never never.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
When he was a baby, I put that around his
little room when he would sleep in it. But he
never slept in there anyway. You always slept with me.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
But same with Dakota. She's still in my bed.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
She's ten, you know, for Audus twenty two, but he
only comes when he gets sick.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
He'll come and he'll want to sleep in my bed
when he gets sick. But that's it.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's funny. We chose this room, we chose the room
in this house that we're renting, and she chose the
room by the parkway, by the freeway, and you know,
there's like the Pacific Coast Highway right here, right, and
so she always goes in her bed, says good night.
Then ten minutes later she goes it's too much traffic
and gets in my bed. But that's what she does
every night. Every night she realizes it's too much.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
It's too much traffic. That is so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
When I come to LA to do a show, because
I come to do a show, I want you to come.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
When are you're going on tour? When are you going?
I leave?
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I leave the end of this month.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Well, Steph, you know I couldn't love you more. I
feel like I've known you my whole life, even though
I watched you on stage and gotten to hang with
you a couple times. But I feel so close to
you when when I see you talking on all these
interviews you do, I'm so cheering you on. You're so
You're inspiring to me, Stephanie Mills. I hope you know that.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
You're inspiring to me because I've watched you all the
time your show, The View. I loved it when you
put people in their place and get them right, because
people don't do that and they're so disrespectful and you
never let them disrespect you, and I like that.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Thank you, Stephanie Mills.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I love you, Rosie, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
This was so great. We'll be back right after this
break with some questions from you the listeners. So we're
(34:53):
back and listen, you the listener, please leave us a
little memo, A question, A thought of feeling whatever you
want on about the show, and we'll get to it
if we can. And we have a couple of you
listeners with your questions and comments. Let's hit it. Hey,
ro It's Patrick in New York City.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
I do have a question, but I wanted to say first,
I saw you at Sweeney Todd the night you were there.
I have a friend in the show too, so we
got to stay after and we were all sort of like,
you know, it's like thirty people milling about in the house,
and I saw you, and I had chills from being
that close to you. I am You're such an icon
and an inspiration and I love you so much. And
(35:32):
of course I wasn't going to bother you and say hello,
because I'm a New Yorker and we don't do that.
But I was looking at you, and I just love
you so much. So here's my question. I was listening
to your conversation with Cameron Manheim about the Chosen Family
and the way you all had kids. My husband and
I adopted our daughter through foster care.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
She came to us at six days old.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
We've been the only parents she's ever known, and but
you know, we've always been open with her about her story,
of course, and we did have some you know, interaction
with her birth parents going through the foster process.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
But only briefly.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
And she is always interested in knowing about her mom,
and of course we have very limited information. She's nine now,
and the other night, now that Mother's Day is coming up,
she asked if we could write a Mother's Day card
to her birth mother, and you know, I kind of
didn't know how to answer. My husband right away said sure,
(36:28):
and I thought, oh wow. You know, his thinking was like,
maybe it'll be like writing a letter to the tooth
Fairy or Santa Claus. You just want to say something
nice and then you never think about it again. I
was thinking, oh god, if she writes like a card
to her birth mother, she's going to expect a response.
And so I said, well, sweetheart, you know, we're not
in contact with your birth mother. And we talked a
little bit about the birth mom, you know, again all
(36:49):
the same few things we know about her, and of
course made it clear that she can always ask us
any questions about it. But I'm curious your thoughts on this.
She's nine, She's not old enough to really have a
full conversation with about why she was, you know, in
foster care, why she came to us, why you know
her parents weren't.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Able to raise her.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
And I guess my question is just what's your advice
on how to proceed in this conversation in instances like that?
Your parenting role model and inspiration for me you always have been.
I love you so so so much. Thank you for
making this podcast. I love that I get to hear
your voice every week. All right, thanks Roe?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Oh God, I love you so much. I feel like
I know you first of all the way you said
hey Roe, I'm like, that's my buddy right there. I
wish you would have come over to me after seeing
Sweeney Todd and you know, Barry Manilow was there too.
Wasn't that a magically brilliant show? Every performance was pitch perfect?
That Annalie Ashford should win every award known to man,
(37:51):
and Josh Grobin is just a genius. And I hope
that they both get the trophies and the accolades that
they deserve because they're just so brilliant. Now, what a
wonderful kind of story and question about your daughter. I
have always felt that honesty is the best policy and
having a mother who left not on her own volition,
(38:14):
but you know, there is that abandonment that kids feel,
especially when they're too young to fully understand death and
the transient nature of life itself. One promise that the
world keeps to everyone is you're going to die one day.
You know, that's the only promise that we all get,
and that never ever changes. And so I would be
(38:36):
immensely curious if there was a way that I could
possibly talk to my mom. And I know my mom
died and it's a different thing, but that sort of
allowed me the freedom and the understanding of just how
deep that primal wound of adoption is for children, and
(38:57):
how it's our job as their pa parents to tell
them that their parents loved them, they loved them, and
they weren't able to be parents because they weren't ready
and prepared, and that you were wanted and they did
want you, and they do care about you and love you.
(39:18):
They're not in our family right now, but when you
get to be a grown up and you're an adult,
you can have any kind of conversation that you want
with your birth mother. Strangely enough, the only one who
ever really asked to speak to their birth parents when
they were young, which is what your child has done.
(39:39):
Was Dakota when she was five. She was very, very
verbal since she was little, and she often had questions
about her tummy. Lady. That's what I call the birth moms.
When my kids were little, I said, you grew in
another lady's tummy, and that's your tummy, mommy, and your
tummy lady, and she carried you, and she knew that
(40:00):
she wasn't able to be a mommy, and so God
looked in the tummy and found you your right match
for your mommy. And that's me. That's what I always
told my kid. But at five years old, Dakota asked
to speak to her birth mother. So I got in
touch with her, and that was an open adoption. My
other adoptions were closed because twenty something years ago it
was done very differently than it's done now. She wanted
(40:23):
to speak to her birth mother. Now, the birth mother
didn't have a phone that could do FaceTime. Dakota could
see the birth mother, but she talked into the phone
and saw an image of her, and she said, Hi,
do you remember me. I'm the baby that was in
your tummy. I just wanted you to know that when
I got born, my mommy held my hand and I
(40:46):
grabbed her pinky and I wouldn't let it go. And
that's my mommy and that's where I am now. And
I just wanted to tell you that, so you know,
thanks by, And she walked away, she said, which you
needed to say, walked away and has never really brought
it up again. And it's a hard concept, but you
have to realize when you adopt, even from foster care,
(41:09):
in any way you adopt a child, there's been a
tragedy that precipitated your union. There's a tragedy there. There's
a wound and an abandonment and a feeling that adoptees
have often of being displaced, of not fitting in anywhere,
of not knowing who they are or what their origin
(41:31):
story really is. So I would encourage her. I would
encourage her, and I would get some books and read
books about adoption to her and have her write down
her feelings. And like your husband said, you know, the
answer to that question, can I write a Mother's daycard
to my birth mother? Is yes, you certainly can. And
(41:51):
then you're going to promise to try to get it
to her, but whether or not you still have the
ability to do that, and if you can't send it
to her, that you keep them for your daughter for
when she gets older, or you keep a copy so
that she can have an understanding of her yearnings and
her desire to get to know that part of her
(42:11):
life of herself. It's not really about you. It's about
the child. It's not about whether or not you had
feelings of rejection or competition or that's what you feel
is really irrelevant. It's what the child feels and how
you can best provide a safe environment for them to
share their feelings in life with you about such a deep,
(42:35):
deep issue. Good for you, honey. You got any more questions,
send them my way. I'd love to hear what happens.
I'd love to hear what went down with all of that,
and how did Mother's Day go for you boys? And
congratulations and next time, give me a big hug when
you see me on Broadway. Okay, all right, we got
(42:58):
another question. Here we go. Hit it.
Speaker 4 (43:01):
Hi, Rosie, my name's Kate. I just listened to your
Ricky Lake episode and in it you talked about Melissa
Ethridge's off Broadway show In New York. I actually ran
into you there, and you and your friend were so
kind to talk to me for a minute about teaching. Anyway,
my question is about music. I remember on your TV
show you had Melissa Ethridge on the show and you
(43:24):
played drums. Well, she's saying enough of me, and I
think the joke of the episode was like that she
was letting you play the drums even though you didn't
know how, and I don't know, it seemed to me
like you did know how, and so I was just wondering, like,
how did you learn how to play the drums or
any other instruments, And what's your relationship with music like
(43:49):
these days? What have you been listening to? Thanks Rosie,
and thanks so much for talking to me that day.
It meant a lot. You mean a lot.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Well, thank you. That's so sweet. Yes, I do know
how to play the drums. I wanted to take drums
when I was in elementary school, and my mother said
I couldn't because it was a boy's thing to do.
And then she went in the hospital and so I
forged the permission slip and I took percussion and she
(44:19):
found out about it when she was ill and had
not long to live and she was definitely not happy.
And my older brother Eddie said, you know, it's not drums,
it's percussion, and she said, do you think I'm stupid?
You know? I remember, I remember she got angry, you know,
but the fact that she didn't want me to do
it made me practice every single day because I wanted
(44:40):
to get really good at it. I wanted to tell
her about it when when she came back. So the
joke with Melissa is that I always ask can I
sing back up? Can I play drums for you? But,
like you know, serious musicians, that's kind of insulting to say,
you know, can I play uh with you? But you know,
(45:02):
my friend Cindy Lauper, let's be go on tour and
play drums with her. And Melissa has allowed me on
TV and Wainona has let me sing back up with her.
And those are the people I love. I love their music.
I love Joni Mitchell. A. Music has been a huge
part of my life and career and just part of
(45:23):
my artistry. Like the music is always underscoring everything. And
my favorite, of course is Joni Mitchell. She scores the
emotional truth of my life. That woman has so there
you go and listen. Next week, we have something special
for you. A rapper who's like thirty three years old
(45:47):
and he's one of the biggest rappers in the world.
He goes by the name Logic. His real name is
Bobby and he is the nicest, the most talented, the kindest,
the sweetest guy. And his records, I mean, that's how
you know. I'm old. His CDs, his albums is whatever.
(46:11):
His music is just so remarkable. And I didn't know
who he was. I met him at a restaurant. He
paid for my dinner, and I never got to say
hello to him. And now we met people who knew
people each other, and here he is talking to me,
and I was so excited to get to really discover him.
(46:33):
And he's been out for a long time and I
should have known who he was, but I did not.
But god do I love this guy. I love him
And he's next week right here on onward with Rosie O'Donnell.
Thank you all for checking us out and for downloading.
I appreciate you doing that for us, So thank you all,
and we'll catch you next Tuesday with Logic.
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