99 Reasons Why a Typewriter Is Better Than a Computer!

On this episode of Our American Stories, some interesting facts about the typewriter: The QWERTY layout was originally designed to slow typists down. Mark Twain was the first author to submit a manuscript written on a typewriter. Tom Hanks is a collector of typewriters—and yes, there is indeed a list of 99 reasons why a typewriter is better than a computer. Our American Stories listener Bert Rosica is just the man to deliver it.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we continue with our American stories, and now a
story from one of our regular contributors, Bert Rossiica.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
In twenty twelve, for reasons known only to Providence, I
decided to type a list of the reasons why a
manual typewriter is better than a computer. My intent when
I started was to come up with ninety nine reasons.

(00:45):
The reason I settled on ninety nine was because back
in nineteen eighty five, Tom Boswell.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Who was then the beat reporter for.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Baseball for the Washington Post, was given an assignment by
his editor to come up with the ninety nine reasons
why baseball is better than football. And as he tells
the story, he comes into the office at nine in
the morning and his editor tells him he needs on

(01:16):
his desk by twelve o'clock at least ninety nine reasons.
Boswell goes back to his office a little anxious that
he may or may not be able to accomplish the
task and the time allotted, and proceeds to write on
his typewriter. According to him, it took him forty five
minutes to complete the task, and it became an instant

(01:40):
classic and part of the pantheon of baseball. The reason
I had a newfound appreciation for the typewriter had to
do with the fact that our then twelve year old
son shows up one day with the typewriter. I asked him,

(02:05):
why in the world did you buy a typewriter, and
he told me I always wanted one. Dad, I thought,
all right. He got the typewriter at a thrift store
in our town. And the reason he was at the
thrift store was because, at the age of twelve, he
decided he did not want to attend the katillion at

(02:27):
his school wearing khaki colored chinos. He wanted to wear
Nantucket red colored chinos. And I told my wife, I
don't feel like spending like one hundred.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Dollars of Brooks Brothers or Nordstroms or some other place
for a kid to wear Nantucket red chinos for six
months and then grow out of them.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
So I said, take him to the thrift store. So
he came back from the thrift store without the chinos,
but with the typewriter. So I said, what did you
pay for it? Fifteen dollars, Dad, fifteen dollars for a typewriter. Okay,

(03:13):
the guy wanted thirty, Dad, but I told him it
didn't work, so I'd only give him fifteen. I tried
to get it for ten, but he insisted on fifteen.
The kid's twelve years old, negotiating with the thrift store
manager or owner or whatever he was. So he has
this fifteen dollars typewriter that doesn't work. Why'd you get

(03:33):
a typewriter if it doesn't work, he said, I figured
you could fix it. Dad. He said, all right, it's
a reasonable answer. Let's take it down to the bench
and see what we can do. So take it down
to my workbench. Finally we get the thing working well.
We proceed to then argue over who gets to use
the typewriter. I wanted to use it. He didn't want

(03:56):
to let me. I argued, I fixed it. He argued,
I paid for it. Why don't you get your own typewriter?
So I did, And then I got another, and then another,
and then another, and the next thing I know, I'm
collecting and restoring old manual typewriters. And I started writing,

(04:20):
and in the process of that, I realized writing on
a typewriter is way more enjoyable than writing on a computer.
One day, I'm typing away on a typewriter writing heaven
knows what, and I'm thinking this is great. I also
start thinking about the Boswell list, said, wonder if I
can come up with ninety nine reasons why a typewriter

(04:43):
is better than a computer. So put a piece of
paper in the typewriter and I started the type and
here's what I came up with. I'm going to go
through the list. Some of them are a little redundant.

(05:03):
In fact, I think some.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Are absolutely redundant.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Now for those of you who have never typed on
a typewriter, you're just going to have to use your imagination. Now,
for those of us old enough to have typed on
a typewriter, I think some of these things might strike
a chord. Speaking of which, the number one reason is
there are no power chords. Two, no chords connecting to

(05:32):
a printer. Three, no chords connecting to an external hard drive. Four,
no chords connecting to anything. Five, no software to install, six,
no software to download. Ten. A typewriter can't crash eleven,

(05:57):
no fatal system error message twenty four. No font to
choose twenty five, no font color to choose unless you
have a two tone ribbon twenty six, no font size
to choose twenty seven. You don't have to format your

(06:20):
font twenty nine. No print button to push thirty three,
no leaving your desk to retrieve your print at work.
Thirty four. The typewriter can reflect your mood. If you
are upset and you type harder as a result, it
will show in your work because the keys will penetrate

(06:43):
the paper. Thirty nine. I like baseball, Shirley Povich, use
the typewriter. Need I say more? Forty There is no
chance what you type will be uploaded inadvertently to the

(07:07):
Internet for all the world to see, whether you want
it to or not. Typewriters are secure and private. Forty one.
There is no spell check. You need to learn how
to spell and use a dictionary. In the process. You
will improve your vocabulary. Forty two. There is no grammar check.

(07:30):
Read Drunk and White and learn how to use it.
You will improve your grammar. Forty three. No annoying perforate
it red underlines telling you something is misspelled. Forty four
no annoying perforated green underlines telling you something isn't punctuated properly.

(07:50):
They are not always correct anyway. Fifty one. If you're
working late and happen to fall asleep at the keyboard
with one of your fingers pressing against the key. You
won't wake up later to discover that you have just
typed two three hundred and fifty nine pages of the
letter K. Fifty three, no mouse fifty six. You don't

(08:21):
get interrupted with emails fifty seven, No one tries to
friend you. Sixty seven. When I am working on my typewriter,
it can't be confused with playing solitaire or shopping on
the web. Seventy one. When I type, I am not
distracted by all the other things on a computer that

(08:43):
are ultimately less fulfilling. Seventy two. Most of the good
old typewriters were made in America. Seventy seven. There are
no gamers on typewriters. Seventy eight. If a typewriter breaks,
they rarely, if ever, do you take it to some

(09:05):
old guy that has interesting stories to tell, rather than
some young kid that doesn't know anything. You may not
know it, but you probably have more in common with
that old guy, even if you're not old. Seventy nine.
You don't need extended warranties. You can't get them anyway.

(09:28):
Eighty three. If someone sees you or hears you typing
on a typewriter, they will stop and ask you about it,
and you will have something interesting to discuss.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
No one ever asks me about my computer.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Ninety one. If I want to quote unquote carbon copy someone,
I get to use real carbon paper. Ninety two. Now
my kids can learn what real carbon paper is and
why they CC someone. Ninety three Another personal one. I

(10:08):
now have a use for those three bottles of white
aut I have been saving in my desk for so
many years. Ninety nine You never have to reboot your typewriter,
and what a terrific piece by Bert Rossiica.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
He is still hacking away at the typewriter and loves it.
Bert Rossiica's ninety nine reasons why a typewriter is better
than a computer. Here on our American story