June 3, 2025 • 17 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, listener Laura Sangster shares the love story between her and her husband.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories,
and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
including your story. Send them to our Americanstories dot com.
There's some of our favorites, and you know we really
mean that. Today we have a listener's story from who
in Des Moines, our Great Iheartstation ten forty. Laura Sangster
(00:32):
had a tough childhood and a very tough first marriage,
but then she met her husband Fred. Here's Laura sharing
her story.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I was married forty years. I found out after five
years of marriage that he has sexual addictions and he
was living had another life thirty eight years of the forty.
I didn't want God to be mad at me, so
I didn't want divorce, kids. Everybody wanted me. I mean,
it was awful, and I just thought I was so scared.
(01:07):
My health was going down. I did late counseling my consulate.
He said, no, the Lord does not want you to
be living like this anymore. So I worked for a
law firm. Everybody knew who he was and what he
was doing. After I decided to divorce, they were just
so elated. They put a party on and they said,
(01:30):
you need to find somebody that cares about you. So
five years later they wanted me to do E harmony.
They were all on e harmony, some of thee were
engaged and you know, and it was like, you've got
to do this. Well. I filled out the application after
a lot of pressuring, and then Fred's name came up. Anyway,
(01:54):
we start talking, you know, you talk first, and they
email questions back and forth. First name, no email, nothing,
So it's quite a process that you go through. Then
when you feel like you're ready to just say hey,
I can give them my phone number or my email
a dress, then you can do that. So after about oh,
(02:15):
I would say, probably two or three months, we just
really knew a lot about each other. We met first
of January for the first time in person. He came
to Minnesota because he had meetings there. It was like
we had known each other for years. And he came
by the table and stood up and he just stood
(02:36):
there and I thought, who is this and he said Laura,
and I said yes, and he said I'm Fred. We
sat there for five hours and then we sat on
the parking lot and then the next day his one
meeting was canceled. Says, are you going to be available,
(02:57):
and I did, and it was just like that's why
I call my prince and I always have because it
was like it was just a Cinderella's story and we
just knew. I mean, there was no doubt, and I
had no intentions of ever getting married again. But he
(03:19):
treated me such a gentleman and such a wonderful Christian man.
It was just like God just put him in my
I really believe that God really put him in my life.
When he asked me to marry him in February, I thought,
you know, I told him right out. I said, you
(03:42):
know what, I need to pray about this, and I said,
I don't want to talk to you or any connection
during this time, because I said, I really need to
pray to God that this is what he wants me
to do. And I thought, well, if he finds somebody else,
that's fine. It wasn't meant to be. That's the way
I thought about it. And people can't believe I did that.
(04:04):
My heart tells me I need to do that, so
I did. And it was two weeks actually to the
day that I told him, and I prayed and prayed
and everything no connection, and then one morning I woke
up got to work, and it just said you need
to call him now and say you would like to
(04:25):
go out with them again. I did so it just
all went from there. We wrote our vowels together. It
says our promises to each other first, and most importantly,
God will be the center focus of our relationship with
each other. I want you to know that I will
(04:46):
always make prayer the foremost in any given situation, and
our day will start and end with prayer. I want
to be someone who reminds you every single day how
much you're loved. Want to be someone who fills each
day of our marriage with happiness and beautiful memories with you.
I want to be someone you can trust and share
(05:09):
with absolute everything along the pathway of our life's journey together.
I want to be the one person you know who
can always turn to someone you can laugh and cry with.
But most importantly, I just want you to be able
to be yourself. I want to sit next to you,
hold you, walk with you, and share our innermost thoughts.
(05:34):
These are my promises to you. Both of us were
on the same track. That's where it started, and then
we had beautiful trips. We just had just a beautiful
life and then I noticed one day that he just
like stood in the room, middle of the room and
(05:56):
just was like just puzzled, like I know where where
he was or whatever. And I thought, oh my gosh,
what's going on? Anyway, I noticed little things here and there,
and his mom passed away with alzheimer. Then we had
him evaluated. This was in twenty fourteen, I think. Then
(06:21):
he was diagnosed with alzheimer.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And you've been listening to Laura Sankster tell her story
about a dreadful first marriage, liberation through a divorce, and
ultimately finding Fred. Those vows, they were just so beautiful.
Oh my goodness, ours weren't I was good. I wish
I wish we'd spent more time on ours, and where
as thoughtful by the way, I met my bride on
the internet as well, on Match dot com. Third couple
(06:48):
to ever be married on Match dot com, and we're
really proud of that. And I knew it when I
met her that was my person, that was my soulmate.
And clearly Laura knew Fred was the person for her
for the rest of her life. When we come back
more of this story and what happens next. As Alzheimer's beccons.
(07:08):
This is our American Stories. Here are to our American Stories.
(07:32):
We bring you inspiring stories of history, sports, business, faith
and love. Stories from a great and beautiful country that
need to be told. But we can't do it without you.
Our stories are free to listen to, but they're not
free to make. If you love our stories in America
like we do, please go to our American Stories dot
com and click the donate button. Give a little, give
(07:53):
a lot, help us keep the great American stories coming.
That's our American Stories dot Com. And we continue with
our American Stories. We've been listening to Laura Sangster, a
(08:13):
listener from Whhow in Des Moines, Iowa. She's been sharing
the ups and downs of life which brought her to
this point in her life, which, of course, as you
heard before, was in Alzheimer's diagnosis for her husband and
in the end for her. Let's go back to Laura.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I tried taking care of him at home and I
was a wreck. I couldn't do it anymore. And three
years ago my doctor looked at me says it's either
you or him. So I had a pointment facility and
it was really hard. I've been in a lot of
caregiver groups. I got him involved right away just to
(08:56):
keep his mind going. There's a lot of neat places.
Alzheimer's Association has places everywhere every state, and there's groups
that they zone into what they can still do and
give them encouragement. And that's what I would just say,
is find a caregiver group right away, find out all
the information, all the steps, because it helps prepare you.
(09:20):
If you don't look into that and get the support
from that end, it's awful, it's awful. And I was
right away with him, and I think that kept him
going longer than he would have been because I kind
of kept him in with people that were like him.
And it was so important because he didn't feel like
(09:42):
he was different then. And that is so important. That
is so important because people don't understand. We had lots
of friends. Fred had friends for seventy five years, and
we had a church family, we had Bible staf we
did social things all the time, and we're your family,
(10:04):
We're here. I mean these are long years. Friends. Anyway,
after you was diagnosed, everybody fell off the face of
the earth totally. They're gone. And one pastor told me,
he says, well, they just don't know what to say
or do, and I say, no, that's wrong. That's when
you need your family. It was hard. So I tried
(10:30):
for a few years with everybody, and I just thought,
I don't have the energies to do this anymore. It's
not worth it. You might know what to say, but
you can say, hey, I've been thinking about you, So
get connected right away and learn. They have great support groups,
great support groups for both. You go to meetings with
(10:51):
both and friend and I did, and then you have
your own caregiving groups. But now to this day, he
doesn't know who I am. He knows I'm special, you know,
but he's content in this world. And that's been real
hard for me. And it was our anniversary on July fifth,
(11:13):
and I'm gonna cry. These words came to me. It
says remembering for both of us. I just sat down
by my computer and I wrote this in ten minutes.
It just flowed out of me. It says memories are unforgettable.
And I only wish I could say to you, remember when,
(11:37):
but I know you can't, So I will remember for
us both. I talked to you about the past, hoping
that it triggers some memory. Of our past. But in reality,
I know in my heart that I will need to
remember for us both. When I say I love you
so much, you in turn tell me that's nice. My
(12:01):
hugs seem a mystery to you. Your eyes speak why
are you hugging me? And you receive it with no
response with a hug back. I miss those hugs. You
were the best hugger of all. And I always with
saying I love you, my PJ, a name you gave
(12:24):
me at our wedding which means precious jewel, and I
called you my prince like in Cinderella. But now I
only can rest in my heart those expressions of our
love and knowing I will remember for us both memories
are never forgotten. Deep down inside you, I know they
(12:47):
are there in your heart. When we talk about God,
your eyes shine. That makes me teary eyed because I
know you are aware that He is with you. I
will forever the memories for us both. And that just flowed,
and it's like, thank you Lord, because I needed that.
(13:15):
It's something told me to just sit down and just
pour it out. And one main thing I want to say,
don't let the little things get in the way, because
you're gonna have differences, You're gonna have little things that
are happening all the time. But that's what I try
(13:36):
to tell people, married people and even older people. I said,
you know, the little things don't matter, because what look
of it. With Fred, I never even dawned that this
is going to happen. And if we were have harbored
on the bad stuff, we would have not even had
a beautiful marriage like we did. But it was beautiful
(13:58):
and we would talk. We would definitely talk about if
something was wrong. We would talk right away. Very rarely
do we have any problem at all. Even when I
took care of him for five years, when he got bad,
we still had good moments and precious moments. And even
when he went in, I could take them. But I
(14:20):
can't take him out anymore. I'm much stronger than I
ever have been because I see He's planted people in
my pathway. He's helped me to find a good place
for Fred. All I want to do is inspire people.
No matter how hard things can get. You just got
(14:41):
to trust there's a reason for and the Lord will
put those people in your pathway when you need them.
My oldest son is fifty three, he's a nursing home
right now, and he has is called Whitmore's disease, and
it's not it's foreign to the US. It's only in
(15:03):
tropical areas and maybe Puerto Rico. They don't know how
he contracted. You only can get it through contaminated water
or soil. What it does is it destroys. He's got
permanent brain damage, kidney damage, liver damage. And then my
other son is MSS and a girlfriend I have fifty
(15:24):
three years. We're very very close, like sisters. She ended
up having in the hospital the same time I was there.
She's got dementia. So I do have a load. I
look at everything and it doesn't bother me to the
point of just saying why. Lord, I never ask why.
(15:46):
Just give me the strength to be able to be
there however I can. I taught them or her family
how to speak to alzheimer. I'm looking at it that
the Lord has planted me in these situations. That's the
way I live. I I look at it and say
I don't like it. I need a break, But he
(16:07):
has put me in positions to be able to help
and and that that's how that's how I comfort myself.
And like I said, I don't like it, but I
only have two alternatives, either to be really upset or
you know, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do?
(16:28):
And that that's that's where I'm at. I have my days,
believe me. And not that I don't sit and cry sometimes,
not that I don't, you know, I mean it, it's
normal and I think it's good. It's like a pressure cookie.
You gotta lest some of the steam out and it's okay,
it's okay to cry. And that's what they they they
kind of help you with too, is when I first
(16:49):
went to caregiver. It's okay to cry, It's it's okay
to say what you're feeling. And you know, cause it
does it. It really helps you me stronger, be stronger.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And a beautiful piece, a sad piece, but a real piece.
So many millions of people living with Alzheimer's and it's tough,
but hearing this voice well, his voice of affirmation and
hope even within it all. And a special thanks to
Faith and Robbie and Madison for their work on the
piece and their collaboration. Laura Sangster's story the story of
(17:26):
how she lives with Alzheimer's I need to remember for
us both. She said. He doesn't know who I am,
but he's content in his world again. The story of
Laura Sangster a listener's story of beauty. Here on our
American Stories.
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories,
and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
including your story. Send them to our Americanstories dot com.
There's some of our favorites, and you know we really
mean that. Today we have a listener's story from who
in Des Moines, our Great Iheartstation ten forty. Laura Sangster
(00:32):
had a tough childhood and a very tough first marriage,
but then she met her husband Fred. Here's Laura sharing
her story.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I was married forty years. I found out after five
years of marriage that he has sexual addictions and he
was living had another life thirty eight years of the forty.
I didn't want God to be mad at me, so
I didn't want divorce, kids. Everybody wanted me. I mean,
it was awful, and I just thought I was so scared.
(01:07):
My health was going down. I did late counseling my consulate.
He said, no, the Lord does not want you to
be living like this anymore. So I worked for a
law firm. Everybody knew who he was and what he
was doing. After I decided to divorce, they were just
so elated. They put a party on and they said,
(01:30):
you need to find somebody that cares about you. So
five years later they wanted me to do E harmony.
They were all on e harmony, some of thee were
engaged and you know, and it was like, you've got
to do this. Well. I filled out the application after
a lot of pressuring, and then Fred's name came up. Anyway,
(01:54):
we start talking, you know, you talk first, and they
email questions back and forth. First name, no email, nothing,
So it's quite a process that you go through. Then
when you feel like you're ready to just say hey,
I can give them my phone number or my email
a dress, then you can do that. So after about oh,
(02:15):
I would say, probably two or three months, we just
really knew a lot about each other. We met first
of January for the first time in person. He came
to Minnesota because he had meetings there. It was like
we had known each other for years. And he came
by the table and stood up and he just stood
(02:36):
there and I thought, who is this and he said Laura,
and I said yes, and he said I'm Fred. We
sat there for five hours and then we sat on
the parking lot and then the next day his one
meeting was canceled. Says, are you going to be available,
(02:57):
and I did, and it was just like that's why
I call my prince and I always have because it
was like it was just a Cinderella's story and we
just knew. I mean, there was no doubt, and I
had no intentions of ever getting married again. But he
(03:19):
treated me such a gentleman and such a wonderful Christian man.
It was just like God just put him in my
I really believe that God really put him in my life.
When he asked me to marry him in February, I thought,
you know, I told him right out. I said, you
(03:42):
know what, I need to pray about this, and I said,
I don't want to talk to you or any connection
during this time, because I said, I really need to
pray to God that this is what he wants me
to do. And I thought, well, if he finds somebody else,
that's fine. It wasn't meant to be. That's the way
I thought about it. And people can't believe I did that.
(04:04):
My heart tells me I need to do that, so
I did. And it was two weeks actually to the
day that I told him, and I prayed and prayed
and everything no connection, and then one morning I woke
up got to work, and it just said you need
to call him now and say you would like to
(04:25):
go out with them again. I did so it just
all went from there. We wrote our vowels together. It
says our promises to each other first, and most importantly,
God will be the center focus of our relationship with
each other. I want you to know that I will
(04:46):
always make prayer the foremost in any given situation, and
our day will start and end with prayer. I want
to be someone who reminds you every single day how
much you're loved. Want to be someone who fills each
day of our marriage with happiness and beautiful memories with you.
I want to be someone you can trust and share
(05:09):
with absolute everything along the pathway of our life's journey together.
I want to be the one person you know who
can always turn to someone you can laugh and cry with.
But most importantly, I just want you to be able
to be yourself. I want to sit next to you,
hold you, walk with you, and share our innermost thoughts.
(05:34):
These are my promises to you. Both of us were
on the same track. That's where it started, and then
we had beautiful trips. We just had just a beautiful
life and then I noticed one day that he just
like stood in the room, middle of the room and
(05:56):
just was like just puzzled, like I know where where
he was or whatever. And I thought, oh my gosh,
what's going on? Anyway, I noticed little things here and there,
and his mom passed away with alzheimer. Then we had
him evaluated. This was in twenty fourteen, I think. Then
(06:21):
he was diagnosed with alzheimer.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And you've been listening to Laura Sankster tell her story
about a dreadful first marriage, liberation through a divorce, and
ultimately finding Fred. Those vows, they were just so beautiful.
Oh my goodness, ours weren't I was good. I wish
I wish we'd spent more time on ours, and where
as thoughtful by the way, I met my bride on
the internet as well, on Match dot com. Third couple
(06:48):
to ever be married on Match dot com, and we're
really proud of that. And I knew it when I
met her that was my person, that was my soulmate.
And clearly Laura knew Fred was the person for her
for the rest of her life. When we come back
more of this story and what happens next. As Alzheimer's beccons.
(07:08):
This is our American Stories. Here are to our American Stories.
(07:32):
We bring you inspiring stories of history, sports, business, faith
and love. Stories from a great and beautiful country that
need to be told. But we can't do it without you.
Our stories are free to listen to, but they're not
free to make. If you love our stories in America
like we do, please go to our American Stories dot
com and click the donate button. Give a little, give
(07:53):
a lot, help us keep the great American stories coming.
That's our American Stories dot Com. And we continue with
our American Stories. We've been listening to Laura Sangster, a
(08:13):
listener from Whhow in Des Moines, Iowa. She's been sharing
the ups and downs of life which brought her to
this point in her life, which, of course, as you
heard before, was in Alzheimer's diagnosis for her husband and
in the end for her. Let's go back to Laura.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I tried taking care of him at home and I
was a wreck. I couldn't do it anymore. And three
years ago my doctor looked at me says it's either
you or him. So I had a pointment facility and
it was really hard. I've been in a lot of
caregiver groups. I got him involved right away just to
(08:56):
keep his mind going. There's a lot of neat places.
Alzheimer's Association has places everywhere every state, and there's groups
that they zone into what they can still do and
give them encouragement. And that's what I would just say,
is find a caregiver group right away, find out all
the information, all the steps, because it helps prepare you.
(09:20):
If you don't look into that and get the support
from that end, it's awful, it's awful. And I was
right away with him, and I think that kept him
going longer than he would have been because I kind
of kept him in with people that were like him.
And it was so important because he didn't feel like
(09:42):
he was different then. And that is so important. That
is so important because people don't understand. We had lots
of friends. Fred had friends for seventy five years, and
we had a church family, we had Bible staf we
did social things all the time, and we're your family,
(10:04):
We're here. I mean these are long years. Friends. Anyway,
after you was diagnosed, everybody fell off the face of
the earth totally. They're gone. And one pastor told me,
he says, well, they just don't know what to say
or do, and I say, no, that's wrong. That's when
you need your family. It was hard. So I tried
(10:30):
for a few years with everybody, and I just thought,
I don't have the energies to do this anymore. It's
not worth it. You might know what to say, but
you can say, hey, I've been thinking about you, So
get connected right away and learn. They have great support groups,
great support groups for both. You go to meetings with
(10:51):
both and friend and I did, and then you have
your own caregiving groups. But now to this day, he
doesn't know who I am. He knows I'm special, you know,
but he's content in this world. And that's been real
hard for me. And it was our anniversary on July fifth,
(11:13):
and I'm gonna cry. These words came to me. It
says remembering for both of us. I just sat down
by my computer and I wrote this in ten minutes.
It just flowed out of me. It says memories are unforgettable.
And I only wish I could say to you, remember when,
(11:37):
but I know you can't, So I will remember for
us both. I talked to you about the past, hoping
that it triggers some memory. Of our past. But in reality,
I know in my heart that I will need to
remember for us both. When I say I love you
so much, you in turn tell me that's nice. My
(12:01):
hugs seem a mystery to you. Your eyes speak why
are you hugging me? And you receive it with no
response with a hug back. I miss those hugs. You
were the best hugger of all. And I always with
saying I love you, my PJ, a name you gave
(12:24):
me at our wedding which means precious jewel, and I
called you my prince like in Cinderella. But now I
only can rest in my heart those expressions of our
love and knowing I will remember for us both memories
are never forgotten. Deep down inside you, I know they
(12:47):
are there in your heart. When we talk about God,
your eyes shine. That makes me teary eyed because I
know you are aware that He is with you. I
will forever the memories for us both. And that just flowed,
and it's like, thank you Lord, because I needed that.
(13:15):
It's something told me to just sit down and just
pour it out. And one main thing I want to say,
don't let the little things get in the way, because
you're gonna have differences, You're gonna have little things that
are happening all the time. But that's what I try
(13:36):
to tell people, married people and even older people. I said,
you know, the little things don't matter, because what look
of it. With Fred, I never even dawned that this
is going to happen. And if we were have harbored
on the bad stuff, we would have not even had
a beautiful marriage like we did. But it was beautiful
(13:58):
and we would talk. We would definitely talk about if
something was wrong. We would talk right away. Very rarely
do we have any problem at all. Even when I
took care of him for five years, when he got bad,
we still had good moments and precious moments. And even
when he went in, I could take them. But I
(14:20):
can't take him out anymore. I'm much stronger than I
ever have been because I see He's planted people in
my pathway. He's helped me to find a good place
for Fred. All I want to do is inspire people.
No matter how hard things can get. You just got
(14:41):
to trust there's a reason for and the Lord will
put those people in your pathway when you need them.
My oldest son is fifty three, he's a nursing home
right now, and he has is called Whitmore's disease, and
it's not it's foreign to the US. It's only in
(15:03):
tropical areas and maybe Puerto Rico. They don't know how
he contracted. You only can get it through contaminated water
or soil. What it does is it destroys. He's got
permanent brain damage, kidney damage, liver damage. And then my
other son is MSS and a girlfriend I have fifty
(15:24):
three years. We're very very close, like sisters. She ended
up having in the hospital the same time I was there.
She's got dementia. So I do have a load. I
look at everything and it doesn't bother me to the
point of just saying why. Lord, I never ask why.
(15:46):
Just give me the strength to be able to be
there however I can. I taught them or her family
how to speak to alzheimer. I'm looking at it that
the Lord has planted me in these situations. That's the
way I live. I I look at it and say
I don't like it. I need a break, But he
(16:07):
has put me in positions to be able to help
and and that that's how that's how I comfort myself.
And like I said, I don't like it, but I
only have two alternatives, either to be really upset or
you know, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do?
(16:28):
And that that's that's where I'm at. I have my days,
believe me. And not that I don't sit and cry sometimes,
not that I don't, you know, I mean it, it's
normal and I think it's good. It's like a pressure cookie.
You gotta lest some of the steam out and it's okay,
it's okay to cry. And that's what they they they
kind of help you with too, is when I first
(16:49):
went to caregiver. It's okay to cry, It's it's okay
to say what you're feeling. And you know, cause it
does it. It really helps you me stronger, be stronger.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And a beautiful piece, a sad piece, but a real piece.
So many millions of people living with Alzheimer's and it's tough,
but hearing this voice well, his voice of affirmation and
hope even within it all. And a special thanks to
Faith and Robbie and Madison for their work on the
piece and their collaboration. Laura Sangster's story the story of
(17:26):
how she lives with Alzheimer's I need to remember for
us both. She said. He doesn't know who I am,
but he's content in his world again. The story of
Laura Sangster a listener's story of beauty. Here on our
American Stories.
Host
Lee Habeeb
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.