September 11, 2025 • 9 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, when Bonnie Brown Rowcliffe prepared to sell her childhood home, she dreaded the moment she would walk through its doors for the last time. Every wall carried the weight of memory, and every room felt like a reminder of her late parents. On her final day in the house, she opened one last cupboard and found something unexpected: her father’s “double spoon,” a small, ordinary object that revealed an extraordinary lesson. In this moving story, Bonnie shares how a simple kitchen utensil became a symbol of connection, comfort, and the quiet ways our parents remain with us even after they’re gone.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories.
Up next a story from Bonnie Brown Rocliffe entitled Goodbye
Old House. Bonnie is a writing student of one of
our frequent contributors, Leslie leyland Fields, and we thank her
for turning us on to this story. Take it away, Bonnie.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
My childhood home was sold and I had just about
three months left with the house that raised me. Three
months felt like plenty of time to finish the cleaning
and get the house ready for its new owners. What
I wasn't prepared for was the anticipation of selling, which
I knew was the proper next step, but this was
(00:53):
actually breaking my heart in the process. I now faced
this old house, still fill of so many memories, but
gone were the two people that brought it to life,
my parents. I spent many months cleaning this house, and
I became convinced that my parents never threw anything away.
(01:16):
Every time I walked through the front door, which was
almost daily, I was greeted with the old house smell
that reminded me of my mom long after she was gone,
the old hardwood floors and the furniture that was now dusty,
dim and hollow. But it still brought me to always
thinking to myself, this house still smells like Mom. I
(01:40):
swear I could still smell her perfume lingering, and this
was comforting to me. The days seemed to pass by
slowly leading up to that final day with my house.
I cleaned, purged, and tackled each room slowly and steadily,
as to carefully consider all of my parents' possessions and
(02:03):
where they would go from this house. I had a
pit in my stomach that just kept growing each day.
Three days before the actual date when I would no
longer be able to go into my old house anymore,
I was vacuuming, washing the floors, cleaning the appliances, and
going through every single cupboard and closet as not to
(02:26):
leave a single item behind. I remember leaving the house
that day feeling like it was ready to go, now
completely empty, cleaned through, and would welcome its new family
in just three short days. The drive back to my
own house that day was bleak. I cried the whole
way home. The final day arrived, which meant this was
(02:49):
the last day I would be able to access my
childhood home forever. I was feeling very somber. Everything was surreal,
The lump in my throat and hollowness in my stomach
were making themselves very known. I took pictures of every room,
(03:10):
the front and backyard, my dad's favorite rows of Sharon bush,
our growth wall, the quaint gazebo area where many of
our family pets were buried, and my dad's homemade bird
houses that he was always so proud of. I sat
cross legged on the hardwood floor in the middle of
(03:31):
the living room in my empty house, with tears streaming
down my cheeks. I said goodbye to my childhood home.
I wished the house many memories with its new family,
and told our old house to help raise that new
family well. Just before I was ready to leave that day,
(03:54):
I even had my key in the front door. I
couldn't shake this nagging feeling telling me to go through
the cupboards and closets one last time. My first thought
to this nagging feeling was, don't be silly. I stood
at the front door, debating with myself. Do I or
don't I go through the house one more time? Oh,
(04:14):
what could it hurt, It'll only take a few minutes.
In the kitchen, the final two cupboards left to check
were the lowest two in the corner. I needed to
get down on my hands and knees to see them properly,
which I had already done this numerous times with these
two cupboards. This time, however, at the very front of
(04:37):
the left side of the cupboard when I opened it
was my dad's double spoon sitting right in front of me.
I just stared at the double spoon, which I literally
had not laid eyes on in years. I could feel
my heart pounding a bit. As I reached in to
pick up the double spoon, I said to this silly doublespoon,
how did you get in there? And then I spoke
(04:59):
to my dad, Dad, did you put this here for
me to find on my final day in this house?
I slipped the double spoon into my purse, finished checking
the cupboards and closets, and then slowly left my childhood
home for the final time forever. What is this double
(05:21):
spoon I speak of? I refer to it as silly
because we had many laughs about this object that my
dad invented. It has two regular tablespoons that were screwed
together and glued at the handles so that each end
was the actual spoon shape. The reason my dad invented
(05:42):
the double spoon was for when he was barbecuing his
mouth watering roasts on special holidays. He needed multiple spoons
for spreading his equally delicious homemade barbecue sauce on the roast.
By using his double spoon creation, he could just flip
the spoon and start over without having to go back
(06:05):
to the house from the far back of the yard
to get another spoon. He thought this was genius, and
we liked to tease him about this odd looking silly spoon. However,
it did the job it was intended for, and he
didn't have to make as many trips back to the
house from his backyard barbecue. Finding this double spoon was
(06:28):
actually a turning point for me, which I didn't quite
realize at the time. When I arrived back home at
my house, I pulled the double spoon from my purse
and set it on my kitchen counter. Every time I
walked by that spoon, I smiled and also kept thinking,
why was this spoon sitting in that cupboard today and
(06:51):
how did I not see it before. My oldest son
stopped by that same afternoon. He immediately saw the double
spoon sitting on the countertop, and he said to me, oh,
where did you find Papa's double spoon? I said to him,
how strange it was to find it today, and I
(07:11):
was still bewildered. To my surprise, my son did not
share in my questioning thoughts at all. Without missing a beat,
he said to me, Papa put this spoon there for
you to find today, your last day at that house.
I looked at him and asked why he thought that.
(07:34):
Why did Papa invent this spoon? He asked me. I replied,
with so he didn't have to go back into the
house as often. My son promptly answered exactly, he put
this silly double spoon there for you. He wants you
to know you do not need to go back inside anymore.
It's okay now to leave this house and not look back.
(07:56):
I closed my eyes and the tears began to flow.
My son had been in the front row witnessing my
deep grief over the last two years as I was
working through my parents' estate and now selling our house.
He knew how hard this day would have been for
me to leave that house forever. His words brought me
instant peace, and I felt like love had wrapped its
(08:19):
arms around me. This was a direct message from my dad.
You don't need to go back inside. It's time to
flip the spoon and get on with your life now.
I held my son so tight and thanked him for
helping me to see this message through all of my sadness, fear,
and doubt that I had been like a gray cloud
(08:41):
over me for many months. Now that day changed me.
I miss my old house quite intensely some days, and
other days I can just drive by and smile, knowing
that a young family has a wonderful home to help
raise their children. I keep the double spoon on my bookshelf.
(09:02):
Every time I look at it, it reminds me of
my dad's message, flip the spoon. It's time to live
your life, remember the good times, and know that you
are always surrounded by our love.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And a special thanks to Bonnie Brown Rocliffe for sharing
her story and my goodness for anybody who's had to
go through this with their parents. I did. My mom
died and my dad did not want to live in
that house anymore, and he invited all the kids over
and we went through everything. We laughed, we cried, We
picked our own things that meant the most, to us,
and we took them to our homes. For anybody who's
(09:40):
been through this, I hope this piece brought you peace.
The story of Bonnie Brown Rocliffe's house and saying goodbye
to it. Here on our American stories
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories.
Up next a story from Bonnie Brown Rocliffe entitled Goodbye
Old House. Bonnie is a writing student of one of
our frequent contributors, Leslie leyland Fields, and we thank her
for turning us on to this story. Take it away, Bonnie.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
My childhood home was sold and I had just about
three months left with the house that raised me. Three
months felt like plenty of time to finish the cleaning
and get the house ready for its new owners. What
I wasn't prepared for was the anticipation of selling, which
I knew was the proper next step, but this was
(00:53):
actually breaking my heart in the process. I now faced
this old house, still fill of so many memories, but
gone were the two people that brought it to life,
my parents. I spent many months cleaning this house, and
I became convinced that my parents never threw anything away.
(01:16):
Every time I walked through the front door, which was
almost daily, I was greeted with the old house smell
that reminded me of my mom long after she was gone,
the old hardwood floors and the furniture that was now dusty,
dim and hollow. But it still brought me to always
thinking to myself, this house still smells like Mom. I
(01:40):
swear I could still smell her perfume lingering, and this
was comforting to me. The days seemed to pass by
slowly leading up to that final day with my house.
I cleaned, purged, and tackled each room slowly and steadily,
as to carefully consider all of my parents' possessions and
(02:03):
where they would go from this house. I had a
pit in my stomach that just kept growing each day.
Three days before the actual date when I would no
longer be able to go into my old house anymore,
I was vacuuming, washing the floors, cleaning the appliances, and
going through every single cupboard and closet as not to
(02:26):
leave a single item behind. I remember leaving the house
that day feeling like it was ready to go, now
completely empty, cleaned through, and would welcome its new family
in just three short days. The drive back to my
own house that day was bleak. I cried the whole
way home. The final day arrived, which meant this was
(02:49):
the last day I would be able to access my
childhood home forever. I was feeling very somber. Everything was surreal,
The lump in my throat and hollowness in my stomach
were making themselves very known. I took pictures of every room,
(03:10):
the front and backyard, my dad's favorite rows of Sharon bush,
our growth wall, the quaint gazebo area where many of
our family pets were buried, and my dad's homemade bird
houses that he was always so proud of. I sat
cross legged on the hardwood floor in the middle of
(03:31):
the living room in my empty house, with tears streaming
down my cheeks. I said goodbye to my childhood home.
I wished the house many memories with its new family,
and told our old house to help raise that new
family well. Just before I was ready to leave that day,
(03:54):
I even had my key in the front door. I
couldn't shake this nagging feeling telling me to go through
the cupboards and closets one last time. My first thought
to this nagging feeling was, don't be silly. I stood
at the front door, debating with myself. Do I or
don't I go through the house one more time? Oh,
(04:14):
what could it hurt, It'll only take a few minutes.
In the kitchen, the final two cupboards left to check
were the lowest two in the corner. I needed to
get down on my hands and knees to see them properly,
which I had already done this numerous times with these
two cupboards. This time, however, at the very front of
(04:37):
the left side of the cupboard when I opened it
was my dad's double spoon sitting right in front of me.
I just stared at the double spoon, which I literally
had not laid eyes on in years. I could feel
my heart pounding a bit. As I reached in to
pick up the double spoon, I said to this silly doublespoon,
how did you get in there? And then I spoke
(04:59):
to my dad, Dad, did you put this here for
me to find on my final day in this house?
I slipped the double spoon into my purse, finished checking
the cupboards and closets, and then slowly left my childhood
home for the final time forever. What is this double
(05:21):
spoon I speak of? I refer to it as silly
because we had many laughs about this object that my
dad invented. It has two regular tablespoons that were screwed
together and glued at the handles so that each end
was the actual spoon shape. The reason my dad invented
(05:42):
the double spoon was for when he was barbecuing his
mouth watering roasts on special holidays. He needed multiple spoons
for spreading his equally delicious homemade barbecue sauce on the roast.
By using his double spoon creation, he could just flip
the spoon and start over without having to go back
(06:05):
to the house from the far back of the yard
to get another spoon. He thought this was genius, and
we liked to tease him about this odd looking silly spoon. However,
it did the job it was intended for, and he
didn't have to make as many trips back to the
house from his backyard barbecue. Finding this double spoon was
(06:28):
actually a turning point for me, which I didn't quite
realize at the time. When I arrived back home at
my house, I pulled the double spoon from my purse
and set it on my kitchen counter. Every time I
walked by that spoon, I smiled and also kept thinking,
why was this spoon sitting in that cupboard today and
(06:51):
how did I not see it before. My oldest son
stopped by that same afternoon. He immediately saw the double
spoon sitting on the countertop, and he said to me, oh,
where did you find Papa's double spoon? I said to him,
how strange it was to find it today, and I
(07:11):
was still bewildered. To my surprise, my son did not
share in my questioning thoughts at all. Without missing a beat,
he said to me, Papa put this spoon there for
you to find today, your last day at that house.
I looked at him and asked why he thought that.
(07:34):
Why did Papa invent this spoon? He asked me. I replied,
with so he didn't have to go back into the
house as often. My son promptly answered exactly, he put
this silly double spoon there for you. He wants you
to know you do not need to go back inside anymore.
It's okay now to leave this house and not look back.
(07:56):
I closed my eyes and the tears began to flow.
My son had been in the front row witnessing my
deep grief over the last two years as I was
working through my parents' estate and now selling our house.
He knew how hard this day would have been for
me to leave that house forever. His words brought me
instant peace, and I felt like love had wrapped its
(08:19):
arms around me. This was a direct message from my dad.
You don't need to go back inside. It's time to
flip the spoon and get on with your life now.
I held my son so tight and thanked him for
helping me to see this message through all of my sadness, fear,
and doubt that I had been like a gray cloud
(08:41):
over me for many months. Now that day changed me.
I miss my old house quite intensely some days, and
other days I can just drive by and smile, knowing
that a young family has a wonderful home to help
raise their children. I keep the double spoon on my bookshelf.
(09:02):
Every time I look at it, it reminds me of
my dad's message, flip the spoon. It's time to live
your life, remember the good times, and know that you
are always surrounded by our love.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And a special thanks to Bonnie Brown Rocliffe for sharing
her story and my goodness for anybody who's had to
go through this with their parents. I did. My mom
died and my dad did not want to live in
that house anymore, and he invited all the kids over
and we went through everything. We laughed, we cried, We
picked our own things that meant the most, to us,
and we took them to our homes. For anybody who's
(09:40):
been through this, I hope this piece brought you peace.
The story of Bonnie Brown Rocliffe's house and saying goodbye
to it. Here on our American stories
Host
Lee Habeeb
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