Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we continue with our American stories. Up next, a
story from a listener in West Virginia. Here's Joe Quinn
with his story.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
On the morning of April thirtieth, twenty nineteen, I got
back into acting after raising a family. And then on
April thirtieth, at five point thirty in the morning, when
I was putting my boots on getting ready for work,
I felt something funny.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It wasn't funny like ha ha funny. It was funny like, well,
that was weird.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
So I started to tying my boots and a little
bit of a hard feeling in my right hand. It
wasn't working very well. I looked at myself in the
mirror and I stuck my tongue out and my right
side of my face just sagged, and I went, oh,
oh god, I'm having a stroke. So I went upstairs
(01:07):
with my right legs starting to dwindle, and I wanted
to tell my wife I'm having a stroke, and I
couldn't talk. So that was the beginning of a real,
tumultuous journing. I always knew I was adopted. Always for
(01:31):
my earliest, earliest recollection, my parents made sure I knew
that I was adopted. So I guess it was important,
but to me it didn't matter. I had my mom
and dad, and as I grew up it was I
was just a little tight. And I remember my dad
(01:54):
had a infinity for alcohol.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
He drank.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And I remember one time I was uh seven, I
hit a home run in Little League baseball and that's
all I ever had was at one home run because
my dad.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
He he sort of.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Staggered out of the bleachers and and he was from Louisiana,
he was a Southerner and my mother was from Germany.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
She was a war bride.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Well, my dad come staggering out of the bleachers and
he goes he didn't know he had home run.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I'll always remember that, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
He said that I was stepping in the bucket and
I was just swinging, trying to protect myself. That was
the only time, I mean, I boxed the same thing.
It was kind of a bizarre relationship with my dad.
I think he treated me like his little brother, like
I was a sibling, and you know, still rivalry over
(03:01):
the affections of mom. He said, let's put the gloves
on there. Let's put the gloves on and get down
in the basement box a little bit. So he I
was again run seven or eight, and man, he knocked
me cold. He just he just bam. It broke my
(03:21):
nose and chipped my front teeth and I woke up
and said, no, no, no, don't make a scene. Mom
wa loves box anymore. But that's just the way. Then.
I really didn't have any sort of a model to
look to look to. I kind of modeled myself after
(03:42):
people in the movies. That's all I had. Especially BORA
A powerful movie for me when I was growing up
at about that time was Cool Hand Luke Paul Newman,
and that was a powerful movie for me. Another one
was two thousand and one that came out. I thought, wow,
(04:03):
that was really powerful. I didn't understand it, but it
was powerful, and I thought it was great, and I thought,
that's where I want to be. I thought about being
in the movies and being an actor and turned to
look for something.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I was looking for something.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Well, I got some weights and I started living in
the weights in the basement, and all of a sudden
I had something. There was something, so I wanted the
Marine Corps out of high school again the weightlifting. As
you know, I was made a platoon leader in boot camp. Uh,
(04:43):
and you know, they used me to show people how
to do push ups, you know, and it just all
the way through it turned to a pretty good thing.
And I got out of service, started competing right away,
and I got more and more now I was you know,
people were like asking me how to get ready for a.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Show, and how do I do this? How do you
do that?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
All of a sudden, I really developed in somebody that
when you mentioned my name people in oh, oh the bodybuilder.
You know, I got a lot of attention. I felt
people like me and people like having me around.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
My mom was from Germany.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
She was kind of a well she was from Germany,
and they kind of says it all. I mean, she
was very strict and very forthright with everything, with everything,
the way you ate, the way you sat, the way
you talked. She expected a certain thing and of people,
(05:49):
and she's expected people to act a certain way and
have a certain decorum about themselves too. I got a service,
and I majored in theater, and then that was the
end of it. Dead was really the straw that brokes
the camel's back. With my parents, they were like, oh, theater,
what are you doing major in business or financeer law,
(06:13):
get into pre law, you'd be a good lawyer and
then do some community theater on his side.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
What's the matter with you?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Anyway, as I got older, I'd ask God, what the
heck do you let those two people adopt me for?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Just didn't make any sense? Huh? You know?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I mean there was nothing there, nothing, no support. But
I'll tell you what. Weightlifting gave me an identity. He
gave me something that I was good at. It gave
me something I could be proud of. It gave me
something that people liked me and respecting me and would
ask me questions and asked me to help them. And
I thought, well, fantastic, I got something I really do.
(06:57):
I felt like I was really in something good with
good people with substantial things to do.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Anyway, after I got through college and my parents first
wanted to go with my mother. She had a cancer
or the liver, and I was sitting at her bedside
when she died. My dad, almost a year to the
day later, he had gone back to Louisiana. He had
(07:29):
lung cancer. I looked at him and he was in
the living room. There there's a house coat on he
was down close to seventy pounds in his time.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
He was getting really close to the end, and.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I thought, for one second I was gonna go over
there and say, let's put the gloves on, come on,
let's put him all and now I'm just gonna hit
him as hard as I could. Was It's just a
straight right hand bye, right down in the middle, and
just say, how do you like it? That's absurd. You
(08:09):
don't replay evil for evil. It's really much more powerful.
I just forgave them, both of them. But the problems
really persisted because when my parents had passed away, I
mistakenly thought, sure, now they're.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Gone, my life would be fine. No.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
No, my first wife that ended, my second wife that also,
and because of my shenanigans.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Is because of my bad behavior. I just could not
shed that feeling that was following me everywhere. And that
was it. I'm worthless.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
And you've been listening to Joe Quinn share his story
and what is story it is? It starts with abandonment
and he is ultimately adopted and was told he was
adopted from the earliest time. He had a bizarre relationship
with his own father, who drank too much Moreover, it
was almost a sibling rivalry between he and his father
(09:18):
over his mother. You heard that boxing story, just how bizarre.
He modeled himself after people in the movies, people like
Paul Newman from the epic classic Cool Hand Luke, and
in the end he found meaning and identity lifting weights
and also in the pursuit of the arts in acting.
(09:39):
But anger, resentment, and shame and a feeling of worthlessness
prevailed in his life. When we come back, more of
Joe Quinn's story and check out his documentary Diary of
a Bodybuilder a Diary offa bodybuilder dot com. More of
Joe Quinn's story here on our American Stories, and we're
(10:09):
back with our American stories, and with Joe Quinn's story.
Let's pick up where we last left off.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This first therapist I saw it, He goes, well, first
of all, you do know you're an abuse child.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
And I just burst into tears.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I mean it was like a flood, and I mean
it was really a powerful experience, cathartic in fact. Then
I got to my third wife and oh well that
almost made it. But he eventually the torment of where
(10:51):
I came from, and fueled by alcohol still told me
to do terrible things. Eventually, two thousand and five, February
sixth I went to my first meeting the program AA.
I thank God for AA and I'm in it today.
(11:14):
I sponsored people and I close in and hearing on
seventeen years of sobriety, So I dealt with it. At
this point in my life, I feel as though I've
I've got a handle on things, but from a very
different respective following that stroke I had in April of
(11:38):
twenty nineteen. So that that's the biggest challenge I've had
in my life.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
My parents are not my challenge anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
And the weightlifting, as it came through the gamut, it
was solid, it was stable, it was something I could
counter and I didn't need anybody else like if I
was if I was a boxer, I need a trainer,
I need a sparring partner, you know what I mean.
But you love to weights just going on in the
(12:13):
basement and set your dumbbells and your barbell down and
turn some music out and get to work, you know,
And you can do that anywhere. It's always there whenever
you need it, except when you have a stroke. I
don't mean that to sound procedures, but it's really hard
for me. I miss it. I miss it terribly, terribly.
(12:36):
It's like the death, a death of a family member
that I can't work out. My body blinking has been
cut short.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I was.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
I remember competing at the Nationals in Pittsburgh in twenty sixteen.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I remember.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Being on a stage and looking out over a dark
auratorium with people, and I would say close to seventy
percent maybe more were on their cell phones. They weren't
even watching watching my posing routine.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
And I love posing.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I loved I won Best Poser and to get some contests.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
And I was. I didn't feel offended or angry. I
felt sad. This is the end.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
They took some pictures of us, and a friend of
mine sent me the pictures after they were developed, and
I had to tell you, I did not look good
in those stupid pictures. It looked ridiculous in those shorts.
(13:57):
Those speedos reminds me of of when I used to
ride my bicycle out to the end of Peer over
there in the summers, and the old men would be
out there just standing or talking. And weren't these speedos
looking look stud ridiculous? When I saw myself I felt like, Wow,
(14:18):
I looked just like those old dudes that were hanging
out at the end of the peer over there of
North Avenue Beach, and I mean they look bad.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
So I thought.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Was being looking like that. I mean, aesthetics are gone,
They're out the window. I'm not going to be part
of that anymore. No, in my life, I became a
Christian when I was eighteen years old in the Marine Corps.
(14:54):
And in spite of my struggles, I've always seen that
the peace and uh, the power and the real victory
and and everything.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Was here.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
In my drunken and often drunken and angry tirades against
God was a verse that He always came to mind
that neither this man uh sin nor his parents sinned.
(15:37):
Is he was born blind so that God could be glorified.
So I was put into that situation, into that uh challenge,
and that hell, into that cesspool for an opportunity for
(16:01):
God to be glorified. I think that His glory is evident.
Even in spite of those people I love the Lord
I have going to understand. It's just how powerful He is,
especially through this stroke and through this.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Lightest challenge in life.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
That is probably the biggest thing I've ever undertake, aside
from my death, and I'm not afraid to die anymore
because I was in the midst of terror after that stroke.
Terror and that war doesn't even do with justice. I
hope to God no one has to go through what
(16:48):
I did with a stroke. Its just what an awful experience.
But on the flip side of all that is that
God's going to be glorified in that stroke. God's going
to be glorified in my life, and that's all that matters,
because I feel that I was created to bring Him
glory in spite of who I am.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
But now in my life, I have God.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I've beautiful home, beautiful wife, i have an absolutely beautiful
life I do in spite of having a stroke. I
feel positive, I feel empowered. I feel that because of forgiveness.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Solely because of.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Forgiveness, I've been able to release all the past issues
and anomalies and things that were just evil in certain
instances that brought me up, but it forged me into
the exact person I think God had in mind. And
(18:00):
it's not for me. My life's not mine, My life's his.
It's it's to give him glory and That's why I
hope I do, and that's what I strive for.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
In spite of all the flaws that I have.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And a great job on the production as always by
Greg Hengler and a special thanks to Joe Quinn for
sharing his story. To learn more about Quinn, check out
his documentary called Diary of a Bodybuilder at diaryofabodybuilder dot
com and the Damn Burst when his therapist told him
later in life, you know you were an abused child.
(18:38):
In two thousand and six, we learned he went to
his first AA meeting. Thank God for AA, he said,
And he's closing in on seventeen years of sobriety. But
the biggest challenge of his life wasn't his parents anymore.
It was his stroke. He'd lost weightlifting, he'd lost his identity,
but he was searching for real peace and power and
(18:58):
he found it through his head faith walk. I'm not
afraid to die anymore. I was created to bring God
glory despite who I am. I have a beautiful home,
wife and life and feel positive and empowered. And I
couldn't have done it without forgiveness. The story of Joe
Quinn of his fall and his redemption here on our
(19:20):
American stories,