Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we continue with our American stories. Up next, a
story from a listener in West Virginia. Here's Joe Quinn
with his story.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
On the morning of April thirtieth, twenty nineteen, I got
back into acting after raising a family. And then on
April thirtieth, at five point thirty in the morning, when
I was putting my boots on getting ready for work,
I felt something funny. It wasn't funny like ha ha funny.
(00:44):
It was funny like, well, that was weird. So I
started to tying my boots and a little bit of
a hard feeling in my right hand. It wasn't working
very well. I looked at myself in the mirror and
I stuck my tongue out and my right side of
my face just sagged, and I went, oh, oh god,
(01:04):
I'm having a stroke. So I went upstairs with my
right legs starting to dwindle, and I wanted to tell
my wife I'm having a stroke, and I couldn't talk.
So that was the beginning of a real, tumultuous journing.
(01:28):
I always knew I was adopted. Always for my earliest,
earliest recollection, my parents made sure I knew that I
was adopted. So I guess it was important, but to
me it didn't matter. I had my mom and dad,
and as I grew up, it was I was just
(01:49):
a little tight. And I remember my dad had a
infinity for alcohol. He drank. And I remember one time
I was uh seven, I hit a home run in
Little League baseball and that's all I ever had was
(02:09):
at one home run because my dad he he sort
of staggered out of the bleachers and and he was
from Louisiana, he was a Southerner and my mother was
from Germany. She was a war bride. Well, my dad
come staggered out of the bleachers and he goes he
(02:32):
didn't know he had home run. I'll always remember that,
you know. He said that I was stepping in the
bucket and I was just swinging, trying to protect myself.
That wasn't the only time. I mean, I boxed the
same thing. It was kind of a bizarre relationship with
my dad. I think he treated me like his little brother,
(02:55):
like I was a sibling, and h you know, still
rivalry over the affections of mom. He said, let's put
the gloves on there. Let's put the gloves on and
get down in the basement box a little bit, so
he I was again, I run seven or eight, and man,
(03:16):
he knocked me cold. He just he just bam. It
broke my nose and chipped my front teeth and I
woke up and said, no, no, no, don't make a scene.
Mom wa loves box anymore. But that's just the way. Then.
I really didn't have any sort of a model to
(03:36):
look to look to. I kind of modeled myself after
people in the movies. That's all I had, especially BORA.
A powerful movie for me when I was growing up
at about that time was Cool Hand Luke Paul Newman,
and that was a powerful movie for me. Another one
(03:57):
was two thousand and one that came out. I thought, wow,
that was really powerful. I didn't understand it, but it
was powerful, and I thought it was great, and I thought,
that's where I want to be. I thought about being
in the movies and being an actor and turned look
(04:18):
for something. I was looking for something. Well, I got
some weights and I started living in the weights in
the basement, and all of a sudden I had something.
There was something, so I wanted the Marine Corps out
of high school again the weightlifting. As you know, I
(04:38):
was made a platoon leader in boot camp. Uh and
you know, they used me to show people how to
do push ups, you know, and it just all the
way through it turned to a pretty good thing. And
I got out of service, started competing right away, and
(05:00):
I got more and more now I was you know,
people were like asking me how to get ready for
a show, and how do I do this? How do
you do that? All of a sudden, I really developed
in somebody that when you mentioned my name people in
oh oh the bodybuilder, you know, I got a lot
of attention. I felt people like me and people like
(05:22):
having me around. My mom was from Germany. She was
kind of a well she was from Germany, and they
kind of says it all. I mean, she was very
strict and very forthright with everything, with everything, the way
you ate, the way you sat, the way you talked.
(05:45):
She expected a certain thing and of people, and she's
expected people to act a certain way and have a
certain decorum about themselves too. I got a service, and
I majored in theater, and then that was the end
of it. That was really the straw. The books, the
camel's back. With my parents, they were like, oh, theater,
(06:07):
what are you doing major in business or financeer law,
get into pre law, you'd be a good lawyer and
then do some community theater on his side. What's the
matter with you? Anyway, as I got older, I'd ask God,
what the heck do you let those two people adopt
(06:29):
me for? Just didn't make any sense? Huh? You know?
I mean there was nothing there, nothing, no support. But
I'll tell you what Weadlifton gave me an identity. He
gave me something that I was good at. It gave
me something I could be proud of. It gave me
something that people liked me and respecting me and would
(06:51):
ask me questions and asked me to help them. And
I thought, well, fantastic, I got something I really do.
I felt like I was really in something good with
good people with substantial things to do.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Well.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Anyway, after I got through college and my parents first
wanted to go with my mother. She had a cancer
or the liver, and I was sitting at her bedside
when she died. My dad, almost a year to the
day later, he had gone back to Louisiana. He had
(07:29):
lung cancer. I looked at him and he was in
the living room. There there's a house coat on. He
was down close to seventy pounds in his time. He
was getting really close to the end, and I thought,
for one second I was gonna go over there and say,
(07:49):
let's put the gloves on, come on, let's put him
all and now I'm just gonna hit him as hard
as I could. Was It's just a straight right hand bye,
right down in the middle, and just say, how do
you like it? That's absurd. You don't replay evil for evil.
(08:15):
It's really much more powerful. I just forgave them, both
of them. But the problems really persisted because when my
parents had passed away, I mistakenly thought, sure, now they're gone,
my life would be fine. No. No, my first wife
(08:35):
that ended, my second wife that also, and because of
my shenanigans. Is because of my bad behavior. I just
could not shed that feeling that was following me everywhere.
And that was it. I'm worthless.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
And you've been listening to Joe Quinn share his story
and what is story it is? It starts with abandonment
and he is ultimately adopted and was told he was
adopted from the earliest time.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
He had a.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Bizarre relationship with his own father, who drank too much. Moreover,
it was almost a sibling rivalry between he and his
father over his mother. You heard that boxing story, Just
how bizarre. He modeled himself after people in the movies,
people like Paul Newman from the epic classic Cool Hand Luke,
(09:30):
and in the end he found meaning and identity lifting
weights and also in the pursuit of the arts in acting.
But anger, resentment, and shame and a feeling of worthlessness
prevailed in his life. When we come back, more of
Joe Quinn's story and check out his documentary Diary of
(09:50):
a Bodybuilder a Diary off a bodybuilder dot com. More
of Joe Quinn's story here on our American Stories, and
we're back with our American stories and with Joe Quinn's story.
(10:14):
Let's pick up where we last left off.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This first therapist I saw it, He goes, well, first
of all, you do know you're an abuse child. And
I just burst into tears. I mean it was like
a flood, and I mean it was really a powerful experience,
cathartic in fact. Then I got to my third wife
(10:40):
and oh well that almost made it. But he eventually
the torment of where I came from and fueled by
alcohol still told me to do terrible things. Eventually, two
(11:00):
thousand and five, February sixth I went to my first
meeting the program AA. I thank God for AA, and
I'm in it today. I sponsored people and I close
in and here on seventeen years of sobriety, so I
(11:22):
dealt with it. At this point in my life, I
feel as though I've I've got a handle on things,
but from a very different respective following that stroke I
had in April of twenty nineteen. So that that's the
(11:43):
biggest challenge I've had in my life. My parents are
not my challenge anymore. And the weightlifting, as it came
through the gamut, it was solid, it was stable, it
was something I could counter and I didn't need anybody
else like if I was if I was a boxer,
(12:05):
I need a trainer, I need a sparring partner, you
know what I mean. But you love to weights just
going on in the basement and set your dumbbells and
your barbell down and turn some music out and get
to work, you know, And you can do that anywhere.
It's always there whenever you need it, except when you
(12:28):
have a stroke. I don't mean that to sound proceduous,
but it's really hard for me. I miss it. I
miss it terribly, terribly. It's like the death, a death
of a family member that I can't work out. My
body blinking has been cut short. I was. I remember
(12:49):
competing at the Nationals and in Pittsburgh in twenty sixteen.
I remember being on a stage and looking out over
a dark auratorium with people, and I would say close
(13:11):
to seventy percent maybe more were on their cell phones.
They weren't even watching, watching my posing routine. And I
love posing. I loved I won Best Poser and to
get some contests and I was. I didn't feel offended
or angry. I felt sad. This is the end. They
(13:37):
took some pictures of us, and a friend of mine
sent me the pictures after they were developed, and I
had to tell you, I did not look good in
those stupid pictures. It looked ridiculous in those shorts. Those
(13:57):
speedos reminds me of of when I used to ride
my bicycle out to the end of Peer over there
in the summers, and the old men would be out
there just standing or talking. And weren't these speedos looking
look stid ridiculous? When I saw myself, I felt like, wow,
(14:18):
I looked just like those old dudes that were hanging
out at the end of the peer over there of
North Avenue Beach, and I mean they look bad. So
I thought was being looking like that? I mean, aesthetics
are gone, They're out the window. I'm not going to
(14:40):
be part of that anymore. No, in my life, I
became a Christian when I was eighteen years old in
the Marine Corps. And in spite of my struggles, I've
always seen that the peace and uh, the power and
(15:09):
the real victory and and everything was here. In my
drunken and often drunken and angry tirades against God was
a verse that He always came to mind that neither
(15:32):
this man uh sin nor his parents sinned. Is he
was born blind so that God could be glorified. So
I was put into that situation, into that uh challenge,
(15:54):
and that hell, into that cesspool for an opportunity for
God to be glorified. I think that His glory is
evident even in spite of those people. I love the
Lord I have going to understand. It's just how powerful
(16:17):
He is, especially through this stroke and through this lightest challenge.
In life. That is probably the biggest thing I've ever undertake,
aside from my death. And I'm not afraid to die
anymore because I was in the midst of terror after
that stroke. Terror and that word doesn't even do with justice.
(16:43):
I hope to God no one has to go through
what I did with a stroke. Its just what an
awful experience. But on the flip side of all that
is that God's going to be glorified in that stroke.
God's going to be glorified in my life, and that's
all that matters, because I feel that I was created
(17:07):
to bring Him glory in spite of who I am.
But now in my life, I have God, I've beautiful
home and beautiful wife. I have an absolutely beautiful life
I do in spite of having a stroke. I feel positive,
(17:27):
I feel empowered. I feel that because of forgiveness. Solely
because of forgiveness, I've been able to release all the
past issues and anomalies and things that were just evil
(17:49):
in certain instances that brought me up, but it forged
me into the exact person I think God had in mind.
And it's not for me. My life's not mine, my
life's his. It's to give him glory, and that's why
I hope I do, and that's what I strive for
(18:12):
in spite of all the flaws that I have.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
And a great job on the production as always by
Greg Hengler and a special thanks to Joe Quinn for
sharing his story. To learn more about Quinn, check out
his documentary called Diary of a Bodybuilder at diaryofabodybuilder dot com.
And the Damn Burst when his therapist told him later
in life, you know you were an abused child. In
(18:38):
two thousand and six, we learned he went to his
first AA meeting. Thank God for AA, he said, And
he's closing in on seventeen years of sobriety. But the
biggest challenge of his life wasn't his parents anymore. It
was his stroke. He'd lost weightlifting, he'd lost his identity,
but he was searching for real peace and power and
(18:58):
he found it through his head faith walk. I'm not
afraid to die anymore. I was created to bring God
glory despite who I am. I have a beautiful home,
wife and life and feel positive and empowered. And I
couldn't have done it without forgiveness. The story of Joe
Quinn of his fall and his redemption here on our
(19:20):
American story.