February 13, 2025 • 38 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, Earl Smith shares his story, warts and all. Earl survived a violent youth and eventually served as a Chaplain in San Quentin Prison. Then he came face to face with his past once again.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories,
and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
from the arts to sports, and from business to history
and everything in between, including your story. Send them to
our American Stories dot com. That's our American Stories dot com.
There's some of our favorites and now our own. Alex
(00:31):
Cortez brings us the voice of someone who's worked at
the highest levels of two radically different yet similar jobs.
But you might not have expected it giving this beginning,
this very early start of his life.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
There was this lady named Olcie Pittsfield that was allowed
to come into our home, and she became the lady
that cared for me and took care of.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Me instead of this Stockton kid Earl Smith's mom.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
As a result of that, I really bonded with oc Pittsfield,
who I called Grandmama, and she was like the protector
for me. My dad worked three jobs and he was
my best friend and he still is even though he's
passed away. And in the midst of all of that,
as I grew up, I felt a sense of rejection.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Especially around a memory of when he was four years
old and he was sitting with his mom and her
friends in Earle noticed that the bottle for the newborn
baby sitting on one of the lady's laps was empty,
and being told shut up full for what he said as.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I said that baby ain't got no milk, and you know,
being slapped, being embarrassed to the point that I wet
my pants because the women and the women are laughing
and I got slapped, and I'm this little kid, and
I felt like, wow, it was a horrible.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Feeling to be laughed at.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't know what age people can go back and
remember things from, but when you're four years old and
you can remember an incident like that, that puts a print,
it stamps something into your memory, into that memory bank
that it just doesn't go away. And what I did
not realize was my mom had her own stuff in
(02:24):
her box, and she was trying to deal with her stuff,
and I was part of the stuff that she wasn't
quite sure how to maneuver through. A young lady in
the South married to an older man, not of your
own choice, and as a result of that, that guy
(02:45):
is abusive.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
To you, and so she ran away from him. And
she wasn't even sixteen years old through all of this,
and then she marries again, and.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
She's married by dad. She has two daughters and a son,
and things are okay. Then she's pregnant with me. You know,
my mom in actuality, in hindsight, had every reason in
the world to be upset about this kid that shows
up three and a half years after she finally quit
having kids. She's in her early twenties and finally getting
(03:19):
ready to have some kind of life after all these years,
and the cycle is getting ready to repeat.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
She's going to have to take care of this child.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Her freedom is going to be hindered once again. It's
almost like she's going to be shackled once again. And
I represented shackles in my opinion, as I think back
on it, I represented shackles to her, And if I
in fact represented shackles to her, her response to who
I was was justified, because when you're oppressed or shackled,
the one thing you want to do is get out
(03:48):
of the shackles or get away from the oppression. So
my mom did not have the opportunity just to be
a young girl, a young lady. I mean only later
did I find that out. But when you're a kid
you don't know that, you don't know what your parents
have gone through, and here you are and you're feeling
(04:11):
total rejection because you're a kid and all you want
is to feel some kind of compassion, some kind of love,
and you think you're not getting it.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yet.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
What I realized after the fact is she was giving
me the best she had, and.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
At least he had oc until his mom decided that
he wouldn't have her either.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I love this lady beyond reason, and then one day
I come home and she's not there, and I'm like,
where is she.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Put her out? What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
What does that mean that she's not going to be
here at night when I lay down? What does it
mean that that lady who was my one safety net?
What does it mean when they say that she's no
longer going to be available? You don't understand what that
You really have to understand what that lady meant to me.
(05:11):
She man, she was, She was my answer. She's not
here and you don't go look for What does that mean?
Don't go look for? You know, if you lose a
million dollars, you're going to look for it. And she
was worth much more than a million dollars to me.
(05:33):
So I found out where she lived, and the word
was if you go there and you find if you
don't come straight home from school, you know you're don't
get a spanking. So I wighed the two options, be
around her for a little while and feel the love
that she had for me.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
And get a spanking, or just come home and not
get a spanking. I chose a spanking. I chose it.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Fully understood when I got home because I was coming
home late.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I was going to get a spanking, but I didn't care.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that's the other thing you start as a kid
to say I don't care, and that can take you
to some really dark places. It can really take you
to dark places when you realize at a very young
age I don't care. We had a University of Pacific
that was in stocked, and we'd go over there and
(06:28):
find a bike and ride home on it. You know,
from the bicycle, you still a car because you could
steal a bike, you could still a car. Stab a
guy that was actually a friend of mine at eight
years old and just doing crazy things as a way
basically to let this anger that I felt out and
(06:51):
I didn't understand. The kids don't understand why they do
what they do until later in life you find out,
Oh that's what they call that, that's why.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
You did that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And you're listening to Earl Smith and what a remarkable
voice he has, and straight as an arrow, he's telling
the story as he recalls it now and with real compassion.
When we come back, we'll continue with Earl Smith's story,
and as always we cover these stories about love and
the lack thereof, because well it defines a life, particularly
(07:26):
loves absence. Earl Smith's story continues here on Our American Stories.
Lee Hibib here the host of our American Stories. Every
day on this show, we're bringing inspiring stories from across
this great country, stories from our big cities and small towns.
But we truly can't do the show without you. Our
(07:46):
stories are free to listen to, but they're not free
to make. If you love what you hear, go to
Ouramerican Stories dot com and click the donate button. Give
a little, give a lot. Go to Olamerican Stories dot
com and give And we continue with our American Stories
(08:11):
and with Earl Smith's story. Feeling abandoned by his mom,
Earle tried to fill this hole in his heart and
fill it with crime.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The other thing my dad did for me was he
took me to a field one day. I have a bustle,
beit like hate or nine, and he takes his pistol
out and he puts some stuff out and he starts
shooting and hitting this stuff. He says, you want to try.
And when I put that pistol in my head and
I fired it, I cannot believe how that felt to
(08:43):
me to fire that God, and it was all the
addiction of the sound of a god in my hand
is something I.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Have not forgotten even to this day.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
And it became a very bad thing that he considered
to be a good thing he was doing, but it
was a bad thing that I felt so great about
the sound of that gun and it being in my hand.
Because I was already at eight or nine years old,
I was already.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Committed to being doing a barant things.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I was already committed to being different than other people
in my household.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
I was already committed. I did not have a problem
with the shreds.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I didn't have a problem with crime at eight or
nine years old, And the gun part was just power.
I knew how to I learned how to shoot a gun.
I learned what it sounded like when I shot it,
and for me, that was a power. So I'm not
saying that it was wrong that he did it because
he didn't understand what feeling that gave me the first
(09:45):
time I did it. It's almost like if you use drugs,
if you shoot dope, you're not going to remember what
it felt like. Everyone says, hey, you want to get high,
so you get high, and the reason you become addicted
is because you keep trying to chase the first high
you had. And for me, my addiction was keep chasing
(10:07):
the feeling of the first time I fired that gun.
I mean, one time a guy almost my dad and
I were in the street and this guy swerves this
car like he's trying to hit us. My dad jumps
out the way. I grab and you know, it's like
the guy is laughing and hoot and hollered as he
goes down the street. My dad goes to get the gun.
(10:29):
I take the gun from him and I hide it
again that I find the guy. And we lived by
the railroad tracks, and I just I beat the guy
that I left him on the tracks to get hit
by a train because of what he had done to
my dad, and I kept the gun and I told everybody,
I got this gun. If anybody moves him, I'm gonna
(10:51):
shoot shoot.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Earl was also a gang member, a pretty big drug
dealer around US Route ninety nine, and a college student.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You know, part of this ninety nine quarter deal is
you go from Turlock all the way to Sacramento, and
if you can have a drug trade through that whole
quarter back in the day, you really being successful. We
had an apartment in Turlock, we had one in Modesto,
we had one in Stockton, and you had people that
lived in Sacramento. And every weekend we'd go to different
(11:24):
cities for the parties and we'd.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Do all of that.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But we developed this quarter. So Stantislaus State, Salon, King
Delta College, Sach City College. People were at different schools,
and so everybody was really really educated, really smart. It
wasn't just that we were crazy people. We were pretty smart.
So we're all in school and we're all doing different things.
(11:50):
I think all of us end up getting our degrees,
at least on bachelor of degrees, and from there we
you know, some of us have of Vans degrees, but
we were okay, But so it was almost likely we
were a group that did two things.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
And somewhere in the midst of that.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Earl would visit his old nanny, who considered a grandmother.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Oh see, the thing that was so great about this
lady was that she never moved more than half a
mile away from our house. She always found someone that
would let her rent a room that she would be
close by me.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
She was that person.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Until she went into the nursing home. She was still
living that close to that house I grew up in
when she finally was in the nursing home.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
And you know, here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
When you're a criminal, when you're committing crime, you know, Yeah,
for me, I tell people all the time. You know,
there's a difference in gang membership and gang banging. And
gang banging is when you're actually in the process of
the stuff. Membership is what you're part of. And I
separate the two. I tell people, Yes, I'm a gang
member because that's what I was, That's what my commitment is.
(13:06):
That doesn't change. I don't bang. So when I went
to see my grandmother as a kid, when I was
much younger, it didn't change that I was a part
of a gang. I would always make sure I had
a haircut. I'd always make sure that I look presentable,
and I would always make sure that when I went
to see her, I planned to spend time with her,
(13:28):
and I would not be in a hurry to leave.
I did not want to disrespect her, So I may
have done something the night before. But if I it
was always like almost like a calendar. I knew when
it was time to go see her. If I went
more than two weeks, it was a problem. Sometimes the
junk had to pause because she was still a priority,
(13:51):
because if if she didn't know I was okay, it
would trouble her beyond measures.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And yet he put himself into situations that could trouble her.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, I'd been off at the golf course of nineteen
years old, and we were doing a big deal. So
we went out to the golf course so we could
sort of talk about it where no one we knew.
No one was around because we knew we were being
followed and watched. So my gun was in my golf bag,
(14:26):
the other gun was over in my bed, and so
I put the World Series is on, so I have
to get home in time to watch the game. So
I leave my clubs in the car.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And run in the house and then turn the TV on.
Knock on the door. Guy says, I came to pay you.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
He owed me some money and he was late, and
so I put the word out whenever you see him,
let him know that he owes me, he's late, and
I got to deal with him once again.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
I knew the guy. I knew the kid. I started him.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Off selling, and now business dictated that because you didn't
handle your part of it, I got to do something
to you. And you know what that meant. So then
he gets someone along with some other people, and they
convinced this other person, okay, if you kill him, the
(15:21):
problem would be solved.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
So this guy, Stevie comes.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I don't even know the guy, never seen him before
in my life, but he's with this guy that owed
me the money, and they come in. I say, well,
sit down, because I'm watching a game. I needed to
really process what I was gonna have.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I had to do something.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I sort of liked the guy, but I knew I
had to do something because personally I liked him, business
dictated I had to do something to him. And as
I'm sitting there, he sort of makes a motion like
he's pulling the trigger with a finger. And the guy
he's with while I'm watching the World series, he just
gets something, takes a gun and start shooting me. And
(16:00):
so no gun up under my couch, no gun in
the living room. So now and I'm dodging, trying to
dodge bullets, and I grab a coffee table. The bullet
goes through a coffee table, it hits me, and he
has six bullets in the gun. He hits me all
(16:22):
six times. I'm shot in my face, my neck, my shoulder,
my bag because I'm sort of turning and spinning, and
one bullet goes in and comes back out, So I
have seven holes in me. And then he stands over
me clicking the gun, and the guy that brought him
he says, come on, let's go.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
He's done, and they walk away.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And it doesn't get more compelling than this, Folks, you're
seeing it, you're feeling it, you're hearing it from Earl Smith.
The consequence of many bad decisions and the consequence of
the abandonment of love from a young man. And these
are the things that happen, These are the stories that
you hear here regularly, and we tell them not to
(17:08):
depress you and not to do anything that ultimately inspire.
When we come back, you're going to hear the redemption
story to follow. And it is remarkable because how one
rises from this circumstance, My goodness, there is no worse
circumstance perhaps than the one this young man is facing.
And by the way, the way he was able to
(17:28):
separate his life out and go see oci and just
just sort of man up and straighten up, but then
right back to the pull of that life, the only
life he knew, the only life that was organized around
any kind of meaning, camaraderie or all the other things.
We've heard countless times hear stories from gang members who
say that that's the love they did not get from
(17:50):
their family. When we continue Earl Smith's story here on
our American Stories, and we continue with our American stories
(18:10):
and with gang member Earl Smith's story of finally being
on the receiving end of gunfire.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
The other part that it really was sort of weird
when you're on the other end of the gun, when
you're firing it and you feel the vibration in your
hand as you pull the trigger and the sound sort
of trials through your hand, through your arm, up into
(18:38):
your ears and into your heart. The sound of a
gun when you shoot it actually almost it seems like it.
For me, it was hitting my heart and it became
part of that. But now I'm getting shot, and I
know exactly like how some people must have felt when
(18:58):
you get shot. It's just like you have of a poker,
a hot poker that's been sitting in fire, that is
poked into different parts of your body.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
And the only thing I kept thinking is i need water.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I'm hot, I'm burning up, I'm burning up. I need water,
I need water. It was just like these hot pokers
were like in my face there were hot pokers where
I've been shot, and in my neck there's hot pokers,
and my chin there's hot and I'm just like someone
is taking up branding iron poker and poked it all
the way into me. So it went through me and
(19:34):
it stopped at a point, and that point is stopped
at It's like I'm on fire, but I'm not on
fire in one spot. I'm on fire in a lot
of spots at the same time. And it's almost like
you would take a flame and put it inside of someone's.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Body and allowed to continue to burn.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I mean, think about this. So the police have me
under surveillance. They're getting ready to bust me. So they're
on a corner and I'm mark car. These guys come in.
I'm shot numerous times. My neighbor said they didn't know
(20:16):
if it was firecrackers or what was going on.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
They could just hear.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Bam bam, bam, bam, bam bam, and then they leave
and they walk out, still under surveillance on the corner
over there. I get up, I knock on my neighbor's
door and say, can you call the police.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
I've been shot. She starts screaming. She calls the police.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
They're there no time at all, because they're you know, wow,
of course they're going to be there no time at all.
They come in, they walk right past me, they don't
say a word to me. They start going through my house.
Then they leave. Another set comes in and the lady,
Miss Lorraine, says, well, where's the ambulance? And I heard
them tell her, lady, if you want an ambulance for him,
(21:00):
you call her. They were so And that's the thing
that people don't understand. There comes a point when even
the authorities get tired of you. They get tired of
what you're getting away with, and at some point they
believe that death is the easiest thing to deal with
because they no longer have to deal with a person
like me. So she had to call the ambulance and
(21:24):
I'm on this gurney and they make it real clear
that I'm not going to make it. They make it
very clear and I just need to tell a police
who shot me. Well, I wasn't going to tell. I
had no intention of telling. And doctor Morris, he says,
I don't know what's wrong with you people. Here was
another person that was laying on a gurney in his
(21:47):
emergency room, and the police were saying, tell us who
did it. It was like, and it's sort of crazy,
but it's not crazy.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
I'd rather die.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
At least they can say he didn't tell. Wow, man,
what a great name. He went to the grave without telling.
What kind of badge is that? What badge did you
get for that? But when you grow up in a
certain way, that's what you believe and be saying I'm
gonna die or whatever. Here's the deal about that that
I tell people I deserve to die. For what the
(22:22):
things I was involved in, the things that I had
done up to that point, I fully understood I deserved it,
and I deserved what the doctor said. I deserved that.
I deserved whatever would have taken place in that day
because I had worked really hard to get to that point.
My dad comes in and he asked, doctor Morrisey, how
(22:46):
bad is it. He says he he's not gonna make it,
and my dad grabs him around the collar very gently,
but he pulls them close to him, and he pulls
them close to me. He says, Doc, you better do
what you do best, and I'm gonna go do what
I do best. He left me on that journey, but
(23:06):
he left me to go pray with the understanding that
that doctor's job was to help me. If you think
you think about my dad having this significant name in
the community.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
His dad was a union leader.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Chief of police. Knows who he is.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
John McFall, who's majority whipping Congress back in those days,
would come to the house and visit with my dad,
and I called him Uncle John. And Senators Krantz and
high A Cower. They would come because they needed my
dad's support for stuff. So he was significant. But when
I got shot. My dad says, son, this is bad.
We're going to make it. He said, son, you're a rebel,
(23:48):
but your God's rebel, and we're going to get through this.
He didn't say you, he said, we're That was the
love he had for me. He was wounded because I
was wounded, and I wasn't going to get through it.
We were going to get through it. That was that's
my dad. And in between those exits of the doctor
(24:09):
going back wherever he went, and my dad going to pray,
and there I'm just laying they're all you know, I'm
laying there waiting to die. That's what they're waiting on
me to die. And then this voice says to me,
you're not going to die. I have something for you
to do. I started laughing. Something was be a chaplain
at San Quentin.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
The prison that's home to the largest death row in America.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
That's what he told me. So I'm sort of shaking
down and they have these monitors on me, and the
doctor comes in. I said, Doc, if I tell you
where the bullets are, will it help?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Now? Remember my dad's over there praying. He's nowhere at
this point now, but he's praying.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
And the doctor says no, I said, so I pointed
at my nose. I says, it's what, it's right here,
and the bleeding stops, and I started to point to
where the bullets were, the bleeding stuff. I believe the
combination of that doctor leaving the voice of the Lord
telling me I'm not going to die. I have something
for you to do with my dad away praying. He
(25:14):
had enough confidence in who God was that he could
talk to God and trust that God was going to
take care of this his son that was a rebel.
And that's so he was not afraid to leave because
he had confidence that God.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Could do what he can only do best.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And three days later, my dad picks me up from
the hospital. You know, he parks the car, that gets
me in the car. And you think that was cool.
My dad can go back to what he's doing. No,
you know what my dad did every day after that
until I got up and strong enough.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
My dad sat in a chair at the door.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Of my bedroom, and every time I woke up, I
saw my dad sitting there with his God. Now, when
I slept, I don't know what he did, but I
can tell you this. When I was awoke, my dad
would sit. When I look, he would be in that chair.
He was guarding me. He's making sure.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
That this thing didn't happen again.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
And that was my dad after all the embarrassments I'd
done that I was embarrassed. I did some crazy things
and my dad kept loving me in spite of it,
kept loving me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
And what a story you're hearing. I'm on fire, like
taking flames and putting them inside a body, he said,
describing what it feels like to get shot, and he
recalled being on that gurney, clearly not thinking he was
gonna make it.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I deserve to die, he said.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I deserved whatever would have taken place on that day.
And there was his dad, a prayer warrior. When I
got shot, Dad said, we're gonna make it. You're a rebel,
but you're God's rebel. We're gonna make it. And that
we folks, that we meant so much to this boy.
(27:07):
I did some crazy things in my life that my
dad kept loving me in spite of it. When we
come back, more of this remarkable story, Earl Smith's story,
and my goodness, what every dad can learn listening to
this story as well.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
And Mom, this.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Is our American stories, and we continue with our American
stories and with gang member Earl Smith's story. After being shot,
(27:46):
Earl says he heard the voice of God and it
led him to head to Bishop College in Dallas to
study religion and become a prison chaplain. But his counselors
there told him that this goal was unrealistic given his
criminal background, so they advised him to take a job
with the Boy Scouts of America.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
People that say, well, that God voice thing is crazy.
It didn't happen. Here's what I need them to understand.
In October nineteen seventy five, God says to me, you're
not going to die. You're going to be a chaplain
in San Quentin prison. I'll tell you how God works.
(28:29):
I'm at a service club for Kawanas Buzzbrewer, who worked
for the Salvation Army as a correctional chaplain. He says, Hey,
didn't you say you wanted to be a prison chaplain?
I said, yeah, you know how you do an introduction
at the Kawanas clubs, tell who you are, what's you're
interested in, and he remembered that. He says, well, there's
an opening of San Quentin you should apply.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
He says now.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
They said they're going to hire this other guy, but
at least you could apply, and I said okay. He
comes back three weeks later and say, hey, did you
ever apply? I said, nah, nah, Yeah, I'm going to
get around to it. He says, I didn't think. So
here's the application. Fill it out. I fill the application out.
I get a response from the State Personnel Board and
it says, dear Reverend Smith, I'm sorry to inform you
(29:13):
that you do not meet the minimum requirements for the position.
I ball it up, throw the paper down, and the
voice of the lord says, once again, call him and
ask them what you need to do.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
It's a test.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I unballed the paper. I call this number on the paper.
There's a silent voice on the other end, and then
the lady says, Reverend Smith, were very sorry we sent
you the wrong letter. You are qualified. Well, I was
qualified at seventy five the night I got shot. And
he said that's what I was going to do. I
get the new letter. I go to the interview the
(29:46):
guy that they're going to hire and says, are you
here for Saquin? I said yeah. He says, well you
can forget it. They've already promised me the job. Well,
here's the way it worked. He worked there for five
and a half months on probation, and then they decided
not to hire him. And when they decided not to
hire him, they then called me and asked me was
I still interested? The guy that they decided not to
(30:09):
hire became a volunteer that I trained, and he became
a phenomenal chaplain, And we both agreed. It was not
that he was not qualified to be a chaplain. He
was just at a place that God had already reserved
for me. So whatever you say about the voice, exactly
what I told people God.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Said is what happened. So when you put it all.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Together, would you believe that God, You'd have to believe
that voice too with you. And when I'm hired to
go to work there, I remember walking into the chapel
and I look around. As I'm walking in, I see
a guy making a drug transaction over by the bathroom.
I see something else taking place, and then I realized,
(30:56):
thank you God, this is where I need to be
because everything I saw I could understand.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
So I started going out and talking to guys. I talked.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I had no problem talking to gang leaders. That was
the that was the training I had. And you know
then that December of my first year there, I'm still
six months in. I still haven't done my six months probation.
I'm giving out Christmas cards and on my unit and
I'm giving these Christmas cards out. And I saw a
(31:29):
guy once when he shot me. I saw him once
in court. I didn't testify against him because I wanted
to kill him, and I want but I needed him
on the street. And the third time I see this
guy in my entire life. He's now on the second
tier of North Block and San Quentin, and no one
knows he's the guy that shot me. And I don't
know that he's there till i'm giving out Christmas cards
(31:51):
and I remember. And I'm only telling the story because
it's part of what God can do in bringing things
to pass and making clarity out of rough situations. You
think that you're okay, you think that God has really
gotten you smooth.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
I'm a chaplain.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Now, So what if I was a drug dealer, So
what if I'm a gang member, So what if I've
done all that other stuff? God has blessed me beyond measure.
Then all of a sudden, here's what happens. I see
this guy. And when I see this guy, I realized
I really.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Had not forgiven him.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I was angry. I looked at him and he jumped
away from the bars. He said, hey, man, I got
shot too, because I knew that a guy knew shot him.
The guy that shot him recently died in prison. He
was doing a life sentence, so he gets away from
the bars. I keep on giving out these Christmas cards
(32:45):
and I'm crying now because I realized I really have
not forgiven this guy, and now he's in a situation.
All I need to do is tell somebody from home
that's the guy that shot me, and it's a done deal.
And I was thinking, God, why would you make me
feel I was okay, that everything was all right to
get me to this point.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Now I'm going to have him killed. I mean, you
think about this. You learn about all these things.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
If you go to college a seminary and forgiveness is this,
and you release said you forgive and you forget.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
How many times you hear forgive and forget? Well, it
sounds good, but when you're confronted by that thing that's
caused you harm or pain.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
It's when you realize, do you forgive? And even when
in the midst of your forgiveness, have you really forgotten?
Speaker 4 (33:34):
For me?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
It was not only had I not forgiven, but it
was forgetting about it was formed removed because when I
saw him, I realized that he had got away with
doing something to me that I had not retaliated for.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
And I'm a.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Chaplain and I'm thinking like that, and I'm like thinking, God,
why did you let me get here to think like this?
That was a kind of thinking thinking that I had
when I was in the world, and here I was
thinking that same way as soon as I saw And
it was a very scary moment for me, And that's
(34:13):
why I just cried. I was just like, what is
going on? Why would you let this guy be here?
Why would you allow me to be confronted with him,
knowing that I really had not forget? Why would you
make me think I forgave him. You ever have a
conversation with God where you're trying to rationalize what you're
(34:33):
dealing with, and it's almost like you're angry with God
because you can't understand why God would make you feel
like you were further along than you really are, And
you're troubled by the fact that you're not as far
long as you thought you were. And that's when I
saw that guy. That's where I was.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
The thing that's so great about God is.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
He takes you to the end and calls you to
have to pass over that theme to get back off.
Sometimes you get to the end and to get away,
you have to go or pass the thing that you
crossed over on their journey. And as I go back
in front of this guy, look at him and I said,
I need to say something to you, and he's he's terrified.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Basically, I said, I need to thank.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
You because God used you to get to be I
don't even know where those words came from. I left there.
I went to my chapel, I sat down in my
chair in my office and I just started crying. Well,
what I didn't know is he wrote a letter to
the Wharton and says, you got to get me off
this prison. The Chaplain's going to have me killed. So
they called me in for investigation. They said, do you
(35:43):
know this guy. I said, yeah, I just realize he's here. Well,
he wrote this letter saying you're going to have him killed.
And I said, and it was George Jackson, who was
the associate Wharton that was over that was my boss.
And I said, mister Jackson, I'll tell you this right
now today, this is the safest place that guy will
ever be because he's not a threat to me. The
(36:06):
only thing I want him to know is who Jesus is.
And he looks at me, remember him on probation. They
could have did me like they did Leonard and just say, okay,
go home, we're not going to hire you. But you
know what they did. This is the week of Christmas.
They put him in a special transport and send him
to another prison so I could stay there.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Now, what if I.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Would have had any other reaction other than the one
I did when I encountered him. And I believe that
was another test because from there, God just he did
so many amazing things at that prison, amazing things. But
what happens with that test if I say, well, you
know what, I'm going to have my people get to you.
(36:48):
I'm going to have my people do this to you
or something like that. What if I did that, but
instead I said what God had placed on my heart
to say to him. And I believe that was the
reason why I was able to stay at Sant Quentin
because I passed that test.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
And you're listening to Earl Smith's story and those words
he heard on October of nineteen seventy five, God says
to me, you're not going to die. You're going to
be a chaplain at San Quentin Prison.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
And it happened.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
By the way, There's so much more to Earl Smith's
story that you can read about in his powerful book
titled Death Row Chaplain Unbelievable True Stories from America's most
Notorious Prison. Get it at Amazon dot Com today. And
at the very beginning of the story, we teased that
Earl worked at the highest levels of two radically different
and yet similar jobs, one as a chaplain for Sant
(37:44):
Quentin's prisoners and the other as the chaplain for millionaire athletes.
Or was the chaplain for the San Francisco Giants, and
he is still the chaplain for the Golden State Warriors
and the forty nine Ers. But millionaire athletes and prisoners
often come from the very same neighborhoods and are dealing
with the very same human brokenness that affect us all.
(38:09):
Earl Smith's story here on our American Stories
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories,
and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
from the arts to sports, and from business to history
and everything in between, including your story. Send them to
our American Stories dot com. That's our American Stories dot com.
There's some of our favorites and now our own. Alex
(00:31):
Cortez brings us the voice of someone who's worked at
the highest levels of two radically different yet similar jobs.
But you might not have expected it giving this beginning,
this very early start of his life.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
There was this lady named Olcie Pittsfield that was allowed
to come into our home, and she became the lady
that cared for me and took care of.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Me instead of this Stockton kid Earl Smith's mom.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
As a result of that, I really bonded with oc Pittsfield,
who I called Grandmama, and she was like the protector
for me. My dad worked three jobs and he was
my best friend and he still is even though he's
passed away. And in the midst of all of that,
as I grew up, I felt a sense of rejection.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Especially around a memory of when he was four years
old and he was sitting with his mom and her
friends in Earle noticed that the bottle for the newborn
baby sitting on one of the lady's laps was empty,
and being told shut up full for what he said as.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I said that baby ain't got no milk, and you know,
being slapped, being embarrassed to the point that I wet
my pants because the women and the women are laughing
and I got slapped, and I'm this little kid, and
I felt like, wow, it was a horrible.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Feeling to be laughed at.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I don't know what age people can go back and
remember things from, but when you're four years old and
you can remember an incident like that, that puts a print,
it stamps something into your memory, into that memory bank
that it just doesn't go away. And what I did
not realize was my mom had her own stuff in
(02:24):
her box, and she was trying to deal with her stuff,
and I was part of the stuff that she wasn't
quite sure how to maneuver through. A young lady in
the South married to an older man, not of your
own choice, and as a result of that, that guy
(02:45):
is abusive.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
To you, and so she ran away from him. And
she wasn't even sixteen years old through all of this,
and then she marries again, and.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
She's married by dad. She has two daughters and a son,
and things are okay. Then she's pregnant with me. You know,
my mom in actuality, in hindsight, had every reason in
the world to be upset about this kid that shows
up three and a half years after she finally quit
having kids. She's in her early twenties and finally getting
(03:19):
ready to have some kind of life after all these years,
and the cycle is getting ready to repeat.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
She's going to have to take care of this child.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Her freedom is going to be hindered once again. It's
almost like she's going to be shackled once again. And
I represented shackles in my opinion, as I think back
on it, I represented shackles to her, And if I
in fact represented shackles to her, her response to who
I was was justified, because when you're oppressed or shackled,
the one thing you want to do is get out
(03:48):
of the shackles or get away from the oppression. So
my mom did not have the opportunity just to be
a young girl, a young lady. I mean only later
did I find that out. But when you're a kid
you don't know that, you don't know what your parents
have gone through, and here you are and you're feeling
(04:11):
total rejection because you're a kid and all you want
is to feel some kind of compassion, some kind of love,
and you think you're not getting it.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Yet.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
What I realized after the fact is she was giving
me the best she had, and.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
At least he had oc until his mom decided that
he wouldn't have her either.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I love this lady beyond reason, and then one day
I come home and she's not there, and I'm like,
where is she.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Put her out? What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
What does that mean that she's not going to be
here at night when I lay down? What does it
mean that that lady who was my one safety net?
What does it mean when they say that she's no
longer going to be available? You don't understand what that
You really have to understand what that lady meant to me.
(05:11):
She man, she was, She was my answer. She's not
here and you don't go look for What does that mean?
Don't go look for? You know, if you lose a
million dollars, you're going to look for it. And she
was worth much more than a million dollars to me.
(05:33):
So I found out where she lived, and the word
was if you go there and you find if you
don't come straight home from school, you know you're don't
get a spanking. So I wighed the two options, be
around her for a little while and feel the love
that she had for me.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
And get a spanking, or just come home and not
get a spanking. I chose a spanking. I chose it.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Fully understood when I got home because I was coming
home late.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I was going to get a spanking, but I didn't care.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that's the other thing you start as a kid
to say I don't care, and that can take you
to some really dark places. It can really take you
to dark places when you realize at a very young
age I don't care. We had a University of Pacific
that was in stocked, and we'd go over there and
(06:28):
find a bike and ride home on it. You know,
from the bicycle, you still a car because you could
steal a bike, you could still a car. Stab a
guy that was actually a friend of mine at eight
years old and just doing crazy things as a way
basically to let this anger that I felt out and
(06:51):
I didn't understand. The kids don't understand why they do
what they do until later in life you find out,
Oh that's what they call that, that's why.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
You did that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And you're listening to Earl Smith and what a remarkable
voice he has, and straight as an arrow, he's telling
the story as he recalls it now and with real compassion.
When we come back, we'll continue with Earl Smith's story,
and as always we cover these stories about love and
the lack thereof, because well it defines a life, particularly
(07:26):
loves absence. Earl Smith's story continues here on Our American Stories.
Lee Hibib here the host of our American Stories. Every
day on this show, we're bringing inspiring stories from across
this great country, stories from our big cities and small towns.
But we truly can't do the show without you. Our
(07:46):
stories are free to listen to, but they're not free
to make. If you love what you hear, go to
Ouramerican Stories dot com and click the donate button. Give
a little, give a lot. Go to Olamerican Stories dot
com and give And we continue with our American Stories
(08:11):
and with Earl Smith's story. Feeling abandoned by his mom,
Earle tried to fill this hole in his heart and
fill it with crime.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The other thing my dad did for me was he
took me to a field one day. I have a bustle,
beit like hate or nine, and he takes his pistol
out and he puts some stuff out and he starts
shooting and hitting this stuff. He says, you want to try.
And when I put that pistol in my head and
I fired it, I cannot believe how that felt to
(08:43):
me to fire that God, and it was all the
addiction of the sound of a god in my hand
is something I.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Have not forgotten even to this day.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
And it became a very bad thing that he considered
to be a good thing he was doing, but it
was a bad thing that I felt so great about
the sound of that gun and it being in my hand.
Because I was already at eight or nine years old,
I was already.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Committed to being doing a barant things.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I was already committed to being different than other people
in my household.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
I was already committed. I did not have a problem
with the shreds.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I didn't have a problem with crime at eight or
nine years old, And the gun part was just power.
I knew how to I learned how to shoot a gun.
I learned what it sounded like when I shot it,
and for me, that was a power. So I'm not
saying that it was wrong that he did it because
he didn't understand what feeling that gave me the first
(09:45):
time I did it. It's almost like if you use drugs,
if you shoot dope, you're not going to remember what
it felt like. Everyone says, hey, you want to get high,
so you get high, and the reason you become addicted
is because you keep trying to chase the first high
you had. And for me, my addiction was keep chasing
(10:07):
the feeling of the first time I fired that gun.
I mean, one time a guy almost my dad and
I were in the street and this guy swerves this
car like he's trying to hit us. My dad jumps
out the way. I grab and you know, it's like
the guy is laughing and hoot and hollered as he
goes down the street. My dad goes to get the gun.
(10:29):
I take the gun from him and I hide it
again that I find the guy. And we lived by
the railroad tracks, and I just I beat the guy
that I left him on the tracks to get hit
by a train because of what he had done to
my dad, and I kept the gun and I told everybody,
I got this gun. If anybody moves him, I'm gonna
(10:51):
shoot shoot.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Earl was also a gang member, a pretty big drug
dealer around US Route ninety nine, and a college student.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You know, part of this ninety nine quarter deal is
you go from Turlock all the way to Sacramento, and
if you can have a drug trade through that whole
quarter back in the day, you really being successful. We
had an apartment in Turlock, we had one in Modesto,
we had one in Stockton, and you had people that
lived in Sacramento. And every weekend we'd go to different
(11:24):
cities for the parties and we'd.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Do all of that.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But we developed this quarter. So Stantislaus State, Salon, King
Delta College, Sach City College. People were at different schools,
and so everybody was really really educated, really smart. It
wasn't just that we were crazy people. We were pretty smart.
So we're all in school and we're all doing different things.
(11:50):
I think all of us end up getting our degrees,
at least on bachelor of degrees, and from there we
you know, some of us have of Vans degrees, but
we were okay, But so it was almost likely we
were a group that did two things.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
And somewhere in the midst of that.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Earl would visit his old nanny, who considered a grandmother.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Oh see, the thing that was so great about this
lady was that she never moved more than half a
mile away from our house. She always found someone that
would let her rent a room that she would be
close by me.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
She was that person.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Until she went into the nursing home. She was still
living that close to that house I grew up in
when she finally was in the nursing home.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
And you know, here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
When you're a criminal, when you're committing crime, you know, Yeah,
for me, I tell people all the time. You know,
there's a difference in gang membership and gang banging. And
gang banging is when you're actually in the process of
the stuff. Membership is what you're part of. And I
separate the two. I tell people, Yes, I'm a gang
member because that's what I was, That's what my commitment is.
(13:06):
That doesn't change. I don't bang. So when I went
to see my grandmother as a kid, when I was
much younger, it didn't change that I was a part
of a gang. I would always make sure I had
a haircut. I'd always make sure that I look presentable,
and I would always make sure that when I went
to see her, I planned to spend time with her,
(13:28):
and I would not be in a hurry to leave.
I did not want to disrespect her, So I may
have done something the night before. But if I it
was always like almost like a calendar. I knew when
it was time to go see her. If I went
more than two weeks, it was a problem. Sometimes the
junk had to pause because she was still a priority,
(13:51):
because if if she didn't know I was okay, it
would trouble her beyond measures.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
And yet he put himself into situations that could trouble her.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, I'd been off at the golf course of nineteen
years old, and we were doing a big deal. So
we went out to the golf course so we could
sort of talk about it where no one we knew.
No one was around because we knew we were being
followed and watched. So my gun was in my golf bag,
(14:26):
the other gun was over in my bed, and so
I put the World Series is on, so I have
to get home in time to watch the game. So
I leave my clubs in the car.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
And run in the house and then turn the TV on.
Knock on the door. Guy says, I came to pay you.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
He owed me some money and he was late, and
so I put the word out whenever you see him,
let him know that he owes me, he's late, and
I got to deal with him once again.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
I knew the guy. I knew the kid. I started him.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Off selling, and now business dictated that because you didn't
handle your part of it, I got to do something
to you. And you know what that meant. So then
he gets someone along with some other people, and they
convinced this other person, okay, if you kill him, the
(15:21):
problem would be solved.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
So this guy, Stevie comes.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I don't even know the guy, never seen him before
in my life, but he's with this guy that owed
me the money, and they come in. I say, well,
sit down, because I'm watching a game. I needed to
really process what I was gonna have.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I had to do something.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I sort of liked the guy, but I knew I
had to do something because personally I liked him, business
dictated I had to do something to him. And as
I'm sitting there, he sort of makes a motion like
he's pulling the trigger with a finger. And the guy
he's with while I'm watching the World series, he just
gets something, takes a gun and start shooting me. And
(16:00):
so no gun up under my couch, no gun in
the living room. So now and I'm dodging, trying to
dodge bullets, and I grab a coffee table. The bullet
goes through a coffee table, it hits me, and he
has six bullets in the gun. He hits me all
(16:22):
six times. I'm shot in my face, my neck, my shoulder,
my bag because I'm sort of turning and spinning, and
one bullet goes in and comes back out, So I
have seven holes in me. And then he stands over
me clicking the gun, and the guy that brought him
he says, come on, let's go.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
He's done, and they walk away.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And it doesn't get more compelling than this, Folks, you're
seeing it, you're feeling it, you're hearing it from Earl Smith.
The consequence of many bad decisions and the consequence of
the abandonment of love from a young man. And these
are the things that happen, These are the stories that
you hear here regularly, and we tell them not to
(17:08):
depress you and not to do anything that ultimately inspire.
When we come back, you're going to hear the redemption
story to follow. And it is remarkable because how one
rises from this circumstance, My goodness, there is no worse
circumstance perhaps than the one this young man is facing.
And by the way, the way he was able to
(17:28):
separate his life out and go see oci and just
just sort of man up and straighten up, but then
right back to the pull of that life, the only
life he knew, the only life that was organized around
any kind of meaning, camaraderie or all the other things.
We've heard countless times hear stories from gang members who
say that that's the love they did not get from
(17:50):
their family. When we continue Earl Smith's story here on
our American Stories, and we continue with our American stories
(18:10):
and with gang member Earl Smith's story of finally being
on the receiving end of gunfire.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
The other part that it really was sort of weird
when you're on the other end of the gun, when
you're firing it and you feel the vibration in your
hand as you pull the trigger and the sound sort
of trials through your hand, through your arm, up into
(18:38):
your ears and into your heart. The sound of a
gun when you shoot it actually almost it seems like it.
For me, it was hitting my heart and it became
part of that. But now I'm getting shot, and I
know exactly like how some people must have felt when
(18:58):
you get shot. It's just like you have of a poker,
a hot poker that's been sitting in fire, that is
poked into different parts of your body.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
And the only thing I kept thinking is i need water.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I'm hot, I'm burning up, I'm burning up. I need water,
I need water. It was just like these hot pokers
were like in my face there were hot pokers where
I've been shot, and in my neck there's hot pokers,
and my chin there's hot and I'm just like someone
is taking up branding iron poker and poked it all
the way into me. So it went through me and
(19:34):
it stopped at a point, and that point is stopped
at It's like I'm on fire, but I'm not on
fire in one spot. I'm on fire in a lot
of spots at the same time. And it's almost like
you would take a flame and put it inside of someone's.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Body and allowed to continue to burn.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I mean, think about this. So the police have me
under surveillance. They're getting ready to bust me. So they're
on a corner and I'm mark car. These guys come in.
I'm shot numerous times. My neighbor said they didn't know
(20:16):
if it was firecrackers or what was going on.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
They could just hear.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Bam bam, bam, bam, bam bam, and then they leave
and they walk out, still under surveillance on the corner
over there. I get up, I knock on my neighbor's
door and say, can you call the police.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
I've been shot. She starts screaming. She calls the police.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
They're there no time at all, because they're you know, wow,
of course they're going to be there no time at all.
They come in, they walk right past me, they don't
say a word to me. They start going through my house.
Then they leave. Another set comes in and the lady,
Miss Lorraine, says, well, where's the ambulance? And I heard
them tell her, lady, if you want an ambulance for him,
(21:00):
you call her. They were so And that's the thing
that people don't understand. There comes a point when even
the authorities get tired of you. They get tired of
what you're getting away with, and at some point they
believe that death is the easiest thing to deal with
because they no longer have to deal with a person
like me. So she had to call the ambulance and
(21:24):
I'm on this gurney and they make it real clear
that I'm not going to make it. They make it
very clear and I just need to tell a police
who shot me. Well, I wasn't going to tell. I
had no intention of telling. And doctor Morris, he says,
I don't know what's wrong with you people. Here was
another person that was laying on a gurney in his
(21:47):
emergency room, and the police were saying, tell us who
did it. It was like, and it's sort of crazy,
but it's not crazy.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
I'd rather die.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
At least they can say he didn't tell. Wow, man,
what a great name. He went to the grave without telling.
What kind of badge is that? What badge did you
get for that? But when you grow up in a
certain way, that's what you believe and be saying I'm
gonna die or whatever. Here's the deal about that that
I tell people I deserve to die. For what the
(22:22):
things I was involved in, the things that I had
done up to that point, I fully understood I deserved it,
and I deserved what the doctor said. I deserved that.
I deserved whatever would have taken place in that day
because I had worked really hard to get to that point.
My dad comes in and he asked, doctor Morrisey, how
(22:46):
bad is it. He says he he's not gonna make it,
and my dad grabs him around the collar very gently,
but he pulls them close to him, and he pulls
them close to me. He says, Doc, you better do
what you do best, and I'm gonna go do what
I do best. He left me on that journey, but
(23:06):
he left me to go pray with the understanding that
that doctor's job was to help me. If you think
you think about my dad having this significant name in
the community.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
His dad was a union leader.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
Chief of police. Knows who he is.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
John McFall, who's majority whipping Congress back in those days,
would come to the house and visit with my dad,
and I called him Uncle John. And Senators Krantz and
high A Cower. They would come because they needed my
dad's support for stuff. So he was significant. But when
I got shot. My dad says, son, this is bad.
We're going to make it. He said, son, you're a rebel,
(23:48):
but your God's rebel, and we're going to get through this.
He didn't say you, he said, we're That was the
love he had for me. He was wounded because I
was wounded, and I wasn't going to get through it.
We were going to get through it. That was that's
my dad. And in between those exits of the doctor
(24:09):
going back wherever he went, and my dad going to pray,
and there I'm just laying they're all you know, I'm
laying there waiting to die. That's what they're waiting on
me to die. And then this voice says to me,
you're not going to die. I have something for you
to do. I started laughing. Something was be a chaplain
at San Quentin.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
The prison that's home to the largest death row in America.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
That's what he told me. So I'm sort of shaking
down and they have these monitors on me, and the
doctor comes in. I said, Doc, if I tell you
where the bullets are, will it help?
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Now? Remember my dad's over there praying. He's nowhere at
this point now, but he's praying.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
And the doctor says no, I said, so I pointed
at my nose. I says, it's what, it's right here,
and the bleeding stops, and I started to point to
where the bullets were, the bleeding stuff. I believe the
combination of that doctor leaving the voice of the Lord
telling me I'm not going to die. I have something
for you to do with my dad away praying. He
(25:14):
had enough confidence in who God was that he could
talk to God and trust that God was going to
take care of this his son that was a rebel.
And that's so he was not afraid to leave because
he had confidence that God.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Could do what he can only do best.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And three days later, my dad picks me up from
the hospital. You know, he parks the car, that gets
me in the car. And you think that was cool.
My dad can go back to what he's doing. No,
you know what my dad did every day after that
until I got up and strong enough.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
My dad sat in a chair at the door.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Of my bedroom, and every time I woke up, I
saw my dad sitting there with his God. Now, when
I slept, I don't know what he did, but I
can tell you this. When I was awoke, my dad
would sit. When I look, he would be in that chair.
He was guarding me. He's making sure.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
That this thing didn't happen again.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
And that was my dad after all the embarrassments I'd
done that I was embarrassed. I did some crazy things
and my dad kept loving me in spite of it,
kept loving me.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
And what a story you're hearing. I'm on fire, like
taking flames and putting them inside a body, he said,
describing what it feels like to get shot, and he
recalled being on that gurney, clearly not thinking he was
gonna make it.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
I deserve to die, he said.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I deserved whatever would have taken place on that day.
And there was his dad, a prayer warrior. When I
got shot, Dad said, we're gonna make it. You're a rebel,
but you're God's rebel. We're gonna make it. And that
we folks, that we meant so much to this boy.
(27:07):
I did some crazy things in my life that my
dad kept loving me in spite of it. When we
come back, more of this remarkable story, Earl Smith's story,
and my goodness, what every dad can learn listening to
this story as well.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
And Mom, this.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Is our American stories, and we continue with our American
stories and with gang member Earl Smith's story. After being shot,
(27:46):
Earl says he heard the voice of God and it
led him to head to Bishop College in Dallas to
study religion and become a prison chaplain. But his counselors
there told him that this goal was unrealistic given his
criminal background, so they advised him to take a job
with the Boy Scouts of America.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
People that say, well, that God voice thing is crazy.
It didn't happen. Here's what I need them to understand.
In October nineteen seventy five, God says to me, you're
not going to die. You're going to be a chaplain
in San Quentin prison. I'll tell you how God works.
(28:29):
I'm at a service club for Kawanas Buzzbrewer, who worked
for the Salvation Army as a correctional chaplain. He says, Hey,
didn't you say you wanted to be a prison chaplain?
I said, yeah, you know how you do an introduction
at the Kawanas clubs, tell who you are, what's you're
interested in, and he remembered that. He says, well, there's
an opening of San Quentin you should apply.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
He says now.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
They said they're going to hire this other guy, but
at least you could apply, and I said okay. He
comes back three weeks later and say, hey, did you
ever apply? I said, nah, nah, Yeah, I'm going to
get around to it. He says, I didn't think. So
here's the application. Fill it out. I fill the application out.
I get a response from the State Personnel Board and
it says, dear Reverend Smith, I'm sorry to inform you
(29:13):
that you do not meet the minimum requirements for the position.
I ball it up, throw the paper down, and the
voice of the lord says, once again, call him and
ask them what you need to do.
Speaker 4 (29:24):
It's a test.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I unballed the paper. I call this number on the paper.
There's a silent voice on the other end, and then
the lady says, Reverend Smith, were very sorry we sent
you the wrong letter. You are qualified. Well, I was
qualified at seventy five the night I got shot. And
he said that's what I was going to do. I
get the new letter. I go to the interview the
(29:46):
guy that they're going to hire and says, are you
here for Saquin? I said yeah. He says, well you
can forget it. They've already promised me the job. Well,
here's the way it worked. He worked there for five
and a half months on probation, and then they decided
not to hire him. And when they decided not to
hire him, they then called me and asked me was
I still interested? The guy that they decided not to
(30:09):
hire became a volunteer that I trained, and he became
a phenomenal chaplain, And we both agreed. It was not
that he was not qualified to be a chaplain. He
was just at a place that God had already reserved
for me. So whatever you say about the voice, exactly
what I told people God.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
Said is what happened. So when you put it all.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Together, would you believe that God, You'd have to believe
that voice too with you. And when I'm hired to
go to work there, I remember walking into the chapel
and I look around. As I'm walking in, I see
a guy making a drug transaction over by the bathroom.
I see something else taking place, and then I realized,
(30:56):
thank you God, this is where I need to be
because everything I saw I could understand.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
So I started going out and talking to guys. I talked.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I had no problem talking to gang leaders. That was
the that was the training I had. And you know
then that December of my first year there, I'm still
six months in. I still haven't done my six months probation.
I'm giving out Christmas cards and on my unit and
I'm giving these Christmas cards out. And I saw a
(31:29):
guy once when he shot me. I saw him once
in court. I didn't testify against him because I wanted
to kill him, and I want but I needed him
on the street. And the third time I see this
guy in my entire life. He's now on the second
tier of North Block and San Quentin, and no one
knows he's the guy that shot me. And I don't
know that he's there till i'm giving out Christmas cards
(31:51):
and I remember. And I'm only telling the story because
it's part of what God can do in bringing things
to pass and making clarity out of rough situations. You
think that you're okay, you think that God has really
gotten you smooth.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
I'm a chaplain.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Now, So what if I was a drug dealer, So
what if I'm a gang member, So what if I've
done all that other stuff? God has blessed me beyond measure.
Then all of a sudden, here's what happens. I see
this guy. And when I see this guy, I realized
I really.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Had not forgiven him.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I was angry. I looked at him and he jumped
away from the bars. He said, hey, man, I got
shot too, because I knew that a guy knew shot him.
The guy that shot him recently died in prison. He
was doing a life sentence, so he gets away from
the bars. I keep on giving out these Christmas cards
(32:45):
and I'm crying now because I realized I really have
not forgiven this guy, and now he's in a situation.
All I need to do is tell somebody from home
that's the guy that shot me, and it's a done deal.
And I was thinking, God, why would you make me
feel I was okay, that everything was all right to
get me to this point.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Now I'm going to have him killed. I mean, you
think about this. You learn about all these things.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
If you go to college a seminary and forgiveness is this,
and you release said you forgive and you forget.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
How many times you hear forgive and forget? Well, it
sounds good, but when you're confronted by that thing that's
caused you harm or pain.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
It's when you realize, do you forgive? And even when
in the midst of your forgiveness, have you really forgotten?
Speaker 4 (33:34):
For me?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
It was not only had I not forgiven, but it
was forgetting about it was formed removed because when I
saw him, I realized that he had got away with
doing something to me that I had not retaliated for.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
And I'm a.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Chaplain and I'm thinking like that, and I'm like thinking, God,
why did you let me get here to think like this?
That was a kind of thinking thinking that I had
when I was in the world, and here I was
thinking that same way as soon as I saw And
it was a very scary moment for me, And that's
(34:13):
why I just cried. I was just like, what is
going on? Why would you let this guy be here?
Why would you allow me to be confronted with him,
knowing that I really had not forget? Why would you
make me think I forgave him. You ever have a
conversation with God where you're trying to rationalize what you're
(34:33):
dealing with, and it's almost like you're angry with God
because you can't understand why God would make you feel
like you were further along than you really are, And
you're troubled by the fact that you're not as far
long as you thought you were. And that's when I
saw that guy. That's where I was.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
The thing that's so great about God is.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
He takes you to the end and calls you to
have to pass over that theme to get back off.
Sometimes you get to the end and to get away,
you have to go or pass the thing that you
crossed over on their journey. And as I go back
in front of this guy, look at him and I said,
I need to say something to you, and he's he's terrified.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Basically, I said, I need to thank.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
You because God used you to get to be I
don't even know where those words came from. I left there.
I went to my chapel, I sat down in my
chair in my office and I just started crying. Well,
what I didn't know is he wrote a letter to
the Wharton and says, you got to get me off
this prison. The Chaplain's going to have me killed. So
they called me in for investigation. They said, do you
(35:43):
know this guy. I said, yeah, I just realize he's here. Well,
he wrote this letter saying you're going to have him killed.
And I said, and it was George Jackson, who was
the associate Wharton that was over that was my boss.
And I said, mister Jackson, I'll tell you this right
now today, this is the safest place that guy will
ever be because he's not a threat to me. The
(36:06):
only thing I want him to know is who Jesus is.
And he looks at me, remember him on probation. They
could have did me like they did Leonard and just say, okay,
go home, we're not going to hire you. But you
know what they did. This is the week of Christmas.
They put him in a special transport and send him
to another prison so I could stay there.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Now, what if I.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Would have had any other reaction other than the one
I did when I encountered him. And I believe that
was another test because from there, God just he did
so many amazing things at that prison, amazing things. But
what happens with that test if I say, well, you
know what, I'm going to have my people get to you.
(36:48):
I'm going to have my people do this to you
or something like that. What if I did that, but
instead I said what God had placed on my heart
to say to him. And I believe that was the
reason why I was able to stay at Sant Quentin
because I passed that test.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
And you're listening to Earl Smith's story and those words
he heard on October of nineteen seventy five, God says
to me, you're not going to die. You're going to
be a chaplain at San Quentin Prison.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
And it happened.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
By the way, There's so much more to Earl Smith's
story that you can read about in his powerful book
titled Death Row Chaplain Unbelievable True Stories from America's most
Notorious Prison. Get it at Amazon dot Com today. And
at the very beginning of the story, we teased that
Earl worked at the highest levels of two radically different
and yet similar jobs, one as a chaplain for Sant
(37:44):
Quentin's prisoners and the other as the chaplain for millionaire athletes.
Or was the chaplain for the San Francisco Giants, and
he is still the chaplain for the Golden State Warriors
and the forty nine Ers. But millionaire athletes and prisoners
often come from the very same neighborhoods and are dealing
with the very same human brokenness that affect us all.
(38:09):
Earl Smith's story here on our American Stories
Host
Lee Habeeb
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