Bretman Rock: Ethereal Creatures

BRETMAN ROCK has entered the chat! Bretman joins Maddie all the way from Hawai'i. We kick things off with a conversation on gender identity and B’s experiences growing up in Hawai‘i as a non-binary Filipino kid. Bretman shares how being raised among cultures where mahu and bakla are not only respected but revered helped him embrace the entire spectrum of gender identities. Madison opens up about her own experiences and ongoing learning regarding nonbinary identities. Then, as always, TS Madison asks her guest to talk his shit – and BABY, Bretman understood the assignment. Millionaire at 18? Check. Living his ancestors’ greatest dreams? Check. Peacocks in the backyard? Check. Bretman shares his origin story at a Wal-Mart, and Maddie helps him unpack his genuinely jawdropping villain era (trust, you HAVE to hear this one…!!!). We cover so much in this one: influencer “shelf-lives,” family trauma, bottoms who don’t use Pure for Men, generational healing, and why tourists in Hawai’i should NOT pet the seals!!! This is the crossover episode you didn’t know you needed.

"Outlaws" is hosted by TS Madison, and is part of the Outspoken Network from iHeartPodcasts, co-produced by Turtle Run Entertainment.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Every time I open up my mouth up and goes out.
Don't wait, No twenty two inches b b b.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Bed yourself, get a job o ricking honey, rick Hooters.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
He chasing it all.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
I'm black like that. Herebout Living gets color easy.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
This is Outlaws with TS Medicine. Hey, y'all, is it on?
Is it on?

Speaker 3 (00:43):
This?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
They recording? This is T S Medicine coming to you
loudlive and always. I'm forever in the color from the
Outlaws podcast with none other than me T s now Listen.
I got on this Donna Summer's Last Day Romance for
love Chop Honey because I didn't get my hair. I

(01:04):
didn't get one of my good, my good nasty party
caps pulled on. But I'm gonna tell you my guest today,
I may not have gotten my hair done, but bitch,
my guest today, it's sitting up on the layers upon
layers upon layers upon layers upon layers of beech wave hair.

(01:29):
And I don't want you to be confused. It's not
a yak, it's not a perm It's from the root. Okay,
ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for my
Internet sensation Redman rock on everybody's scrings and Hallers brad

(01:50):
Men listen to and in the words of Manificent, listen, well,
I just want to tell you that your hair. Your
hair is laid like rich Asian warm and honey from

(02:12):
the from the from the the the show crazy rich Asians. Bitch.
When I say that hair is layer your hair is
so layered, girl, it is like all of the waves.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
I'm a Leo and I'm Filipino, so I think with
that combined, it's just she was meant to have a name.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
So you're so so So you're Leo, a Filipino, so
that means that you are filled with uh, spice and beauty,
spicy verocity. Now you're a Filipino. So let me let

(02:54):
me tell you this. I I'm very into what's it?
What is it? What is a Filipino dish that I
would love?

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Because a double pansette, peanock bet?

Speaker 1 (03:09):
What is close to fun? That's fine?

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Cny gum syne guns.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
That's to me.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
I feel like we don't really enjoy like soup with
like noodles in them.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
It's bullaalo maybe, so that that's that's what will be
close to fun.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah, like bulal, which is like oxtele soup is number
you know, kind of soul food you e know what
you're sick. Yeah, what are the ingredients? What are you
thinking of?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Because I like Vietnamese, I like oh and I like
me that's it.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Yeah, you would love you would love Filipino food.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
We're just like a.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Little bit more on the oilier side. I feel like
Thai food is like healthy, you know, that's why they
live so long. And how I have Filipinos or oily
and that's why we have gout and like you know,
you got to say by knees.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, so my thing is so so so so you
said it's more greasy, like because I'm no taffled, I
like yes, Like I like pan tie, I'm like, uh
uh like the curry because they use more like a curry, yeah,
like a coconut panang. Yeah. And and and Vietnamese uses

(04:24):
more of like basil yet fresh food.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Filippines frying everything, you said.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Filipinos fry every, fry everything. We don't even believe in
the air fryers. I'm like, if there's no oil in it,
you're not frying it.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, you're not listen, if ain't no oiling it, honey,
why am I there? Exactly? You mean to tell me
you're trying to cook with no oil. You're trying to
kill me. What does the air fry? Your bitch? You
trying to kill me.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
My accessors would be like, what is this? We made
evens for you and you're out here doing this. So
you live in Hawaii, mm hmm, since I was eight
years old. So you were born and raised in Hawaii.
I was raised here, but I was born in the
Philippines better than Reilly Jeans, and then I moved here

(05:17):
when I was eight when my dad had a flaying
with my babysitter. But I'll get to that in a bit.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, we're gonna get to them. I want to talk
about first because you are so pretty, and I know
you get down a lot that you're very pretty. Thank you,
you're very pretty. Well. I have my days, vie. I
would have loved to I would love to have had
a better hair day. But I thank you. But your
hair is that that's all natural. Your hair is all natural.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yes, I grew it myself. I started growing it out
like pandemic when my dad passed because he had long
hair growing up as a child too. He thought he
was like a rock star and he was kind of
like the only guy in the Philippines that I knew
that was like long hair. And when he passed, I
was like, I'm gonna grow out my hair for you, dad.
And I feel like I've never looked like a Bretman

(06:09):
rock more in my life. Like I feel like I
finally look like what I'm supposed to say, look like
does that make sense?

Speaker 1 (06:14):
I understand what you mean? Which which was gonna bring
me to my question Because because you're so pretty and
because your hair is so long and layered and luxurious,
are you going to transition or are you trains? So
you identify your trans No, actually I identify it more
in like the non binary world. I okay, yes, but

(06:37):
I go by all the pronouns.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
I actually have a lot of like trans cousin, especially
on my mom's side. I have like one that I
like do a podcast with. Her name is miss Kay.
And on my dad's side, he had like ten nine
siblings and each one of them had like a gay
son or daughter. So I've always been exposed to like

(06:59):
transniss and all the other day cousins that I have
enough time for me to figure out that. I think
I don't mind presenting very pretty but also giving man
and like keeping helm. So yeah, yeah, I just love. Yeah,

(07:20):
I think I'm just non binary.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
I don't really mind. So you know, I got in
trouble a little bit, you know, on on Twitter, just
a bit because I was I asked, I was talking
about my experience as a trans treasgender woman, and I

(07:45):
said that, you know, I asked the public, I said, well,
do you think that we should have gate kept what
it means to be trans and becau because because the
government was using a lot of people who just were like, oh,

(08:06):
we're just saying I'm trans, but didn't give like a
trends that you know, they would just say hey, I'm trains,
and they were using as a political ploy to, you know,
try to create these laws and these sanctions against us.
And so when I met a non binary person responded
under the post and said that because I listen, if

(08:29):
you tell me you're non binary, I respect it. If
you tell me you're trends, I respect it. If you
tell me that your gender fluid, I respected. I don't
invalidate your identity. I'm just almost fifty years old, and
with me being in that coming from a different era,
I have questions. I'm like, hey, I don't the new
terms when they come in. I know that when I

(08:51):
was transitioning back in my time, bitch, I was going
for the cunt bitch where I wanted to go, I
bitch who bitch? Gave me the little kim, give me
the the Mary J. Blige like, girl, you know what
I'm saying, give me one of the cuts. You know? Now,
the girls when they transition, they're like, Okay, well I've
done enough, and I'm like, but wait a minute, Wait

(09:13):
a minute, I wait, where are your lashes? Or wait
a minute, hold on, where's where's the where's the other
extensions of it? Which I got schooled from a lot
of other trends and none binary people that told me medicine.
You know, you're you're operating from a place of of

(09:37):
societal norms of what a woman is supposed to look
like or what what norms are. And I'm like, you know, like,
oh god, I don't want because I don't want to
offend nobody. And that's why I always say hey, because
when I look at you, bitch, I see the cut,
bitch coming. I see the cut coming, bitch. The way
that hair is layered and the skin is so beautiful

(09:59):
and your face is so pretty. I see the cut
in coming. I just but then you say, well, no,
I'm not trains, I'm non bindary, and I'm like, okay,
And a non binary person told me that they were
trains too, and I was like, I'm just help me

(10:21):
up in space. No, I definitely understand.

Speaker 4 (10:23):
But at the same time, I feel like, I don't
want to sound problematic, but I feel like there's really
two types of non binary people. There's some people that
kind of I'm non binary because I truly don't care
for how I.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Express my agenda.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
I hate explaining to people that I'm just a pretty
man with long hair really at the end of the day,
who likes to play with makeup. I enjoy the pretty things.
But there's also non binary people who kind of tether
the lines between transness and non bin airiness. And for
that I can't speak for them, because they're there why

(11:04):
you see experience, you know. But for me growing up
in the Philippines and my grandma introducing me to her
friends and all of my uncles being like this is
my handsome and pretty grandson. And also just like growing
up in Hawaii is very different because I've known from
an early age that mahu's, which is what they call

(11:24):
the third gender, were always like seen as like these
not creatures, but like these people that were respected in
the society. Like people will literally bring their kids to
non binary third gender people and have the name them
because they think that, you know, non binary people or
the third gender people, Mahu's had that gift of like

(11:47):
telling the future. And even in the Filipino culture they're
called babaye land, where you know, they predicted futures and
they were seen and respected in the community for who
they were, and yeah, some of them were trans identifying.
So for me, I'm not bandary because I truly never
emphasize or gave a fuck too much about gender. Obviously,

(12:09):
if someone told me they are a woman or a
trans woman, I'm gonna respect that. For I'm talking about
me and how I like to be addressed. I don't
give a fuck. Call me by what you see, just
put some respect on it, because there are people that
call you like they and I'm like, okay, girl, yeah, because.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Like if I if talking to you through this through
this interview, I'm gonna say she a lot because I see, please,
I've seen beauty, you know, like it's giving, it's given
the county. You know, she's giving her, she's giving her,
and she can be they them she you know, I
actually and here's the thing for me that probably gives

(12:52):
me in trouble a lot. Then I have to. And
this is why I usually always ask people, you know,
what their pronouns are, because me, if I see the
cut beach, even if it's a pretty boy, I'm gonna
say she because it just gives so much. It gives
so much, plissy, bitch, it gives so much, you know, no,

(13:15):
at least you're being nice about it.

Speaker 4 (13:16):
I just call everyone she because of I just learned
English as my third language. I still struggle with hear her.
So even my dad is a she girl, So I
truly do.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
I'm like girl. You know, well, in our languages, in
our in our gaeling go, we call everybody she anyway.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Yeah, and you know everyone's a shah. So so I
like what you said.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
So can you school me a little bit? You said
in the in in Hawaii, it's.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Mahu yes, mahu yes, Ma.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Ma okay, And in the Philippines it's bye bye lines.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
Exactly, or you could just say baclaa.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yes, okay. So we were give the creatures from from
the from the we were ethereal creatures. We were a therapy.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Like people literally like prayed to us, and people came
to us to be healed. People came to us for
advice for war. And I'm just like, why did we
lose that translation? Because I would love to go to
tease Madison and ask her about who's gonna win the war?

Speaker 1 (14:29):
I can see it. What should I name my baby
this Madison? What should I name her? All right, So
we did all of that and we still haven't even
grazed the top of the show. So the top of
the show, what I like to do. There's a segment
I call it's called talk your Ship. Now. What you

(14:50):
do in this part of the show is that you
you tell us who you are, what you do, what
you are proud of, and this is your time to
shine like you don't hold back, you know. And the
reason why I created the segment of this show is
because people call me narcissistic. And they call me narcissistic
because I'm like, oh, bitch. I got a song with Beyonce, Well,

(15:13):
I gotta, I gotta end me from from drag Race.
I gotta this, I gotta They're like, oh girl.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
Oh girl, oh girl.

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah. Here, we celebrate all of that because you gotta
remember that in the in the lack of a better turn,
we're faggots. So we're not supposed to have anything. We're
not even supposed to have the dick that the trade
gives us on that.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
So this is where we celebrate who you are. We
celebrate you. I want you to be as arrogant as
you can. I want you to look at that motherfucking cameras.
I'm Bretman Rock and I am yes and go bitch.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
I am Bredon Rock. I am an emmigrant from the Philippines.
I am a content for for quite some time now.
But you already knew that because you have seen me everywhere.
I have graced the covers of Playboy, the very first
opening game at in Playboy. Yes, I was also the
first Pride Vogue cover of the Philippines. And I've just

(16:17):
been the baddest bitch since I was seventeen. I honestly
made my first million dollars when I was eighteen years old,
still in high school, living in this great matchion. Now that,
like Ms Madison said, I'm not supposed to fucking have,
but guess what peacocks are outside waiting to get fed. Bitch,
where's your peacocks?

Speaker 1 (16:46):
I enjoyed it like I did enjoy that kool aid. Okay,
and I enjoy stuff like that because it's queer people.
We have to be able to do that. It feels good.
That feels so good.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
I needed that that morning. I want to start having
to do that every morning.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Did you? Because they tell us like you, they want
you to to, hey, be humble or or don't do
that because yeah, you know, and you have to be
able to speak that out because these are what you
spoke were facts. That's not that's not made up. Those
are facts. And you're supposed to celebrate yourself. You're supposed

(17:27):
to do that, and you're supposed to shop on the
bitch it don't They don't believe me because it's all
about shipping on them. Okay. That funds so good? Oh
my god, yes, thank you for telling me that, because
I when I interview other people sometimes they be like,
I don't want to. I'm like, bitch, this is your time. Yeah,
don't come over here with that humble and modest ship

(17:49):
with me. Tell a bitch, bitch, I got them. I
live in a million dollar home. Bitch, I got it.
I got properties over here. I'm the baddest bitch bitch
I was on. I'm the first person on. I was
featured in that d D because you're speaking things that
are factual and that yet that you you did and
people have to respect that. And I respect all of

(18:09):
that because you're a queer person. And the things that
they teach us as queer people is God is not
gonna bless you for being a fagot. That's universal, that's
in any language, that's in any culture, that's in any color.
They will tell you God is not gonna bless you

(18:30):
because you're a fag. You're gay, and look at look
you can you can step in your in your you like, bitch,
I made my first million dollars when I was eighteen
years old? Bitch, what are you doing? What did you
do at eighteen? So let's talk about your origin story.

(18:51):
I want you to tell me about a turning point,
an experience, a source of inspiration or or a Eureka
Moe with the shape the path that you were on today. Ooh.
I would say there's a lot.

Speaker 4 (19:07):
I definitely have my good origin and my evil origin,
but I think for me, one of them would have
to be when I moved to America for the first time,
and well, America is in like have I E. I
moved here when I was eight and the first place
we went to was Walmart, and I remembered, do you
know what of the cite TV's at Walmart? And you

(19:28):
walk in and you see your like the security camera
years girl? Why was I in front of Walmart for
five minutes just staring myself and I was like, girl,
you're on TV.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
I'm like my I was.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Like, I'm literally in Big Brother girl, Like what what is?
And that was the first time I ever saw me
eight years old on TV because we don't have that
in the Philippines. So I was the whole time I
was at Walmart, I was just like looking for the
TV's like kind of just like posting. I didn't get
any school supply that day because we went to Walmart

(20:03):
to get school supplies because I had school then following week.
I think, mind you, this was like very very first
day in Hawaii, and I think that was like my
bingo moment where I'm like, I want to see myself
on TV.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
That's where I've belonged. Yeah, you knew being yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
And I literally was just like standing there like, girl,
I don't know what I have to do, but I
have to stay in this camera. And I kind of
just followed that light ever since, and whether it was
my mom's like T mobile, like little LG phone that
was like filmed like pod commercials in when I was
like ten, like recreating the Pond commercials, and I just

(20:45):
knew I belong in a camera somewhere, and that's that
was kind of like my Eureka moment. And I've been
chasing that damn camera ever since.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
And like you haven't let it go never. It's made
you a millionaire and you knew that, Like that's that's
that's usually like when you have those epiphany moments, like
when you up so so god, I want to ask you,
like how do I want to wrap this question? So
that's when you knew that you were pretty and honest.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
Not necessarily pretty because oof, girl, No, I was an
ugly child, honestly, but I why say well, not an
ugly child, but I think just like looking back now,
I'm like, girl, you had gaps in your teeth, like
your hair was like a mask. I look like I
got electrocute because have you seen those babies where their
hair literally grows straight up and they look like little trolls.

(21:38):
So that was my hair as of my whole childhood,
Like it would just stood up. That's why like even
with like this on, like this is still starting up
because my hair just like has volume naturally.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
What a problem.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
But that was definitely the first time where I was like,
I just loved like even I would just I would
fix my hair, you know, when we would all tuck
her hair as a child when we were no down
while we had world bottles out, and I was just
like tucking my hair, and I'm like, there she is.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
And you saw yourself and you you played around in
front of that camera, honey, and you was like, but you.
But people don't understand about manifestations and how real they
are and the power of speaking. And this is why
I told you to talk your ship in the opening
part of the show, because I wanted you to speak
out because what that does is it sends a message

(22:35):
to the universe that you gave me that. Thank you,
But I'm ready for more and I'm here to get
every I'm here on this planet to get all the things,
not some of them. I came here to get them all.

Speaker 4 (22:47):
Or did you ever did you ever have a Walmart
CCTV moment where you're like.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Girl, that's how I saw my booty, Like, hey, Walmart,
Like I was like, it's if I left, go bake
me happy. You know, I'm on being over wind the store,
I'm self checkout. Yeah, it's like, bitch, yes, being looking
is cutting up and stuff in the Walmart. So I

(23:15):
get it. But you're so much younger than me, And
I like when when people who are younger than me
tell me their epiphany moments, because you know, I get
to to think about like, damn, I could see you
as a kid, as an eight year old kid, dancing
around in front of the camera and stuff like that
or whatever, and then you reflect back over this stuff.

(23:36):
Now you're like, grawl, bro, I knew it. I knew bitch.
I knew I was a bad bitch when I walked
in Walmart.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
And exactly that was like my north star. Like on
like so dramatic, but I just had to keep chasing
that I guess like feeling or like my urekame on
maent of like how do I get more of best?
Like how do I Because I could even.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Tell that I was.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
I turned it on when I saw myself on camera
because I you know, I got sassyre and just like
so I don't know, the camera has always turned be on.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
So so my question, my next question to you before
we go to the next part of the is how
did it? How did it happen for you? Like how
did the uh, how did you How did your first
wave of followers and wave of of of integrating into mainstream? How?

(24:34):
How was there? How did that happen?

Speaker 4 (24:36):
Well, like I said, I was always chasing the TV thing,
And when I was in middle school, I joined this
leadership program. It's basically like student console and every morning
we go on TV and re announced like the what
we're eating that day, the schedule of the day, or
like any school announcements, and the whole school has always
like looked forward to Britney Spears and that was what

(24:59):
my screen was, Britney Spears. It's so very much is
Bretney Spears. So anytime, you know, Eli Mativ featuring Britney Spears.
I just felt like the whole school was waiting for
me to announce it's the cafeteria schedule of the day
or whatever the fuck we're eating. And that was kind
of like my first following of like the school just

(25:20):
like loving their first the only openly gay queer kid that,
like I was celebrated. I was always celebrated, and my
first following was honestly just like kids from my school
and just me being in leadership. And I think because
I was like the secretary of the school, people like
respected me, and I was always kind of just like

(25:43):
the popular kid that every that got along with everyone.
Like my school wasn't very clique. I was kind of
like a social butterfly, kind of like libras are. I know,
you're a libra. So I was always a social butterfly.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
And then by.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
High school, this was freshman year in high school, vine
came out and I had a video that Kylie gener
like rewined at the time, and I remember walking to
school and everybody was like, Brad, did you see Kylie
rewind you? And I think that was because that was
my very first like viral moment, I was like, how

(26:18):
do I keep the ball rolling because I don't know
if you know, but like the shelf life of influencers
is like two to three years, so I was like,
and at the time, it was like I was still
kind of like the second wave of influencers that came
I remember it was the YouTubers and then the Vineners
came into play, so I was the second generation of influencers.
And even then I was seeing a lot of like

(26:39):
Asian women that really like conquered, Oh my god, I
fucking speak English, conquered like the beauty space, like Michelle
Fabb's beauty, and I was like, Okay, if these Asian
women are doing this, I feel like I could also give,
you know, my take on beauty. And at that time
as well, there wasn't a lot of like men in makeup,

(27:01):
I would say, especially like boys in makeup. I won't
even consider myself a man in makeup at the time
because I was sixteen. My clitters just dropped, so like
I you know, I was just really like a funny
kid that was learning how to contour while the whole
world was also learning with me.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
So I think it.

Speaker 4 (27:23):
Truly a lot of things just like fell in my lap,
and like a lot of people backed me up on that,
which just and it started in Hawaii.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Do you remember your first viral video?

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Yes, it was an I Hey a Zealea song called
the Fancy I Am So Fancy, Yeah, And I had
like a very much and I had like a scarf
over my head and a sunglasses and I pulled it down.
I put the scarf down and then the glasses fall
and then it fell perfectly on my face and I

(28:04):
just like it looked like a really great transition at
the time, and Kylie Jenner like rewined it and.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
That was that.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
But I honestly started blowing up more on Snapchat more
than anything because I would just make Snapchat videos and
send them to my whole entire school, Like I said,
I was friends with everyone. I would send it to
one hundred people. And one day my friend was like,
why don't you post these on Instagram? Like because Snapchat
they're gone after a day. And I uploaded all my

(28:33):
stage dues and at the time I had like fifty
saved videos and I was on Private and my friend
was like, girlp can you upload these off? Can you
go off Private? And I was still private, I had
like one hundred and twenty followers, which is just my school.
I went off private and that summer I went from
one hundred to ten thousand followers in a summer, so
two months, and then I had a viral like contour

(28:56):
video and that got me from ten to two million
and another two months. I was Yeah, and my life
like changed in a matter of like four months of
just like me making videos because at the time it
was unheard of, you know, not unheard of, like nobody
was not making videos. But I think it was just

(29:18):
you to see a queer kid enjoying makeup freely and way.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
So we were from ten thousand to two million.

Speaker 4 (29:26):
And yeah, in two months, and.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
It was just you doing makeup. It was just be.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Wearing makeup to school. I was latest fuck every day
because I had to get the content out and I
was just pumping these like videos out I was. I
would even make them during class and I just knew
who I was and I had to get that bag.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
I really had to get them right. Yeah, my wod
like shit, because I know what it was like for me,
Like I know, like when Vine and all that other
shit was out and I was like no where twenty yeah,
all yes, all of those things that happened for me,
and I like all those people, like all those people

(30:11):
had that fucking video, like they all had it, like
all of them. Like I like, it's like even now
when I go into certain places, so I'm like, girl.

Speaker 4 (30:25):
Like yes, I hate when they bring up old videos.
I'm like, I'm like, girl was a different girl, Like
like that's that's me.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
But girl, I was just learning how to use my
camera for that at the time. Yeah, you know, And
it's crazy because I did you know I did that
come on in Big Dig Bitch Dot, come Big Dig
Beach Dot, and like, you don't know how I see
the front door, like the front like people have screenshot

(30:56):
their video and they screenshot just the house and like
people I see it in places that say if you
know who where this house is you you were from
this time, and I'm like, wait, yes, I know the house.
I'm like, wait, that's my house. You know what I'm saying,
like hold on, you know, and you don't think about

(31:19):
those things when you're doing it. You don't think about
them like you just you're just making content, so you're
not thinking about like, oh, this is this is gonna
last twenty years, you know what I'm saying, Like, no, yeah,
you don't think that, Like you don't think that this
is this is gonna hit so hard.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
Especially at the time too, I don't even think anybody
knew how much or if you could even make money
online and that it could really be a career one
day that like, you know, pays your bills. I definitely
did enjoy and to make money because I didn't even
think that was possible at the time. Yeah, so I

(31:55):
get what you mean.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Yeah, money and you like, you know, yea, this is nice.
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, is that a million?
Oh that's what it looks like. Okay, you know, and
so people, so I'm gonna ask you this before we
go to this next session. So I didn't try to

(32:21):
gate keep it or police it, but I was like, damn,
you can't let everybody get up, Like, you can't let
everybody because these bitches will come in and they'll oversaturate
the stuff and the next thing, you know, it's not
the same. It's not it's not the same monster that like,
and I created that and now like all these people
are trying to do what I did and it's not

(32:46):
working for you, honey. It's not working for you because
you don't have it. And speaking of it, we all
have a villain era. So every outlaw's labeled a villain
at some point, often when we're just trying to live

(33:07):
our truth and do our best. Your villain era could
be a time you stop people pleasing, a time you
stood up for yourself, maybe made a mistake, maybe you
did something that sparked controversy, or maybe the world just
wasn't simply ready for you. What was your villain era
and what did you learn from oof?

Speaker 4 (33:28):
I feel like my villain era every time I think
of that, I just think of my two siblings and
how they probably think they're superheroes and I'm the villain
of their story, but they don't realize where the villain's
coming from. I'm really the Malefica of the family, because like,
nobody knows why Melfica is mean until the movie came out,
you know. But where I'm coming from is when my

(33:51):
mom moved to America, she only brought my brother and
my sister and she left me in the Philippines.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
With my dad.

Speaker 4 (33:57):
My dad was a woman, I and whatever, But because
I they separators. At a really young age, I developed
the only child syndrome where I was actually convinced I
was the only child for so long, and you know,
my mom would just call here and there to ask
me what's up. And I lived the factas yeah, because

(34:21):
I was just like the grandchild of like my grandma,
and I was like her shadow. I was always with
her everywhere. And I had a really cool dad.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
And when I was.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
Eight years old, I noticed we were headed to airport
and I'm like, oh my god, what are we doing?
And that is when I met my siblings for the
first time, and I had to learn how to be
a brother and I was like, what is And my
sister is a girl obviously, so there was like that
jealousy already. I'm like, why is she get to have
long hair? Like why does she have to have barbies?
And like I didn't even get to like get I

(34:52):
didn't even know her, Like I literally my mom was
like hug her, and I'm like, what the fuck is
this bitch? Like walking in my house, I was like,
and why does why is dad carrying her and not meow?
So yeah, and so I think what I'm getting at
is I never really knew what it was to be
a big brother, and they just kept separating us because

(35:15):
I was just like one time that they visited and
then we were separated again. When I was left again
with my dad. One day, my mom called and she
was like, oh, how is your babysitter? And I was like, oh,
Dad loves her. Like they're always kissing, They're always massaging
each other. And mind you, at the time, I was
like seven six, and I was I was really just

(35:35):
like being honest with my mom, like they're always kissing,
massaging each other. There we all sleep together, just saying whatever.
And now that I'm older, I'm like I could have swore,
like I even when I think about this story, I
can still hear.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
My mom like heart drop on the phone.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
And two weeks later she came to the Philippines and
my maid was like, my maid, sorry, my baby's we
caught her babe back home. I I know it's not
politically correct, Yeah, she was my babysitter. And she was
cooking fish, like frying fish with oil, like I said,

(36:13):
we don't do air fryer, and she was cooking the
fish and my mom walks and she grabs the pan
and like whips it at her and her hand's boiling.
She grabs her hair, she like goes to pound towel
and like drags her out of the house.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
Mind you, I'm like, what is going on?

Speaker 4 (36:30):
I'm eating my oat meal, getting ready for school, and
my mom's like just walked in. She dided to tell
anyone she was coming, dragged her out in the street,
and in the Philipies, we don't even have like roads
or anything.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
We just have like dirt and like a mess.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
So she drags her out like one hundred meters out
and mind you, at this point, like she had her
hair like she had a bald spot, her hands were boiling,
and it was a movie.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
Girl, it was a movie.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
And then a week later, another week goes by and
my dad wouldn't show up to court, and my mom,
being the babbage that she is, let's just say comosa.
He said, he just showed up to corp. Oun't know
where you, hands tied to the back and just like

(37:18):
barely awake because I think my mom had somebody like
literally like conker my dad in the back of the
head and he woke up in corp. Yeah, I was,
I don't know what the fuck was going on, But
I didn't realize that that was the day that my
mom was like gonna give my dad the ultimatum, like
me or her, and my dad chose my babysitter. And

(37:41):
in the Philippines, you can't get annulled. I mean, you
can only get annalled, you can't get divorced. So my
mom had to get like all these like PaperWorks on.
I had to like therapy and all that things like
what happened this day and all that, and I end
up in America, you know, happy, And then that's where
my villain's story started, because my brother somehow convinced me

(38:02):
that my family is broken because of me.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
So it became your fault.

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Yes, he was like, if you didn't tell mom that
dad was cheating on her, you know, like those weren't
his exact words, but like he definitely made sure that
I knew that the family would still be together if
I didn't open my loud mouth.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Wait a minute, wait a man.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Yeah, so she I had an eating disorder like growing
up because I somehow also convinced myself that I didn't
deserve my mom's food because that's what my family does,
were cooks, And how I even have food trucks and stuff.
So I that's why she's really skinny. Queen, thank you
for my least brother, Like you really hate with that.
I didn't eat with that, but you know, and then

(38:49):
like I said again, like going back to my first
point of like learning how to be a brother. When
I was making videos finally with my sister, I was
always painted as this like mean person.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
But I'm like, you guys don't want to stand.

Speaker 4 (39:02):
Like like third world siblings. We don't hug, we don't
say I love you, we don't I don't even remember
the last time, Like I you know, I said I
love you to my sister. Like I'm like, you know,
I love you to my sister is like basically sitting
her kids, helping her out, like.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Show like you're showing me.

Speaker 4 (39:21):
And that's the type of love that we were also
given by my parents. So I'm like, I think the
internet always like painted me as like a bad sibling,
bad brother, as if I'm already not hearing that at home.
So I feel like when everyone's calling you a bad brother,
you kind of just like convince yourself of that as well.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
But I think I.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Quickly learned, just like from meeting other like brown families
and like brown siblings that like, oh, we're not different,
like we're meeting to each other because we just they
didn't know each other until I was eight years old.
I had to figure out this whole brotherhood brother thing,
and like, yes, there is underlying jealousy because like, you know,

(40:02):
my sister moved to America playing with barbies while I
was like in the Philippines, like you know, looking at
my reflection in the fucking right in the rice fields,
like who was that girl? I see?

Speaker 1 (40:15):
You know harry back at me.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
Yes, my dolls were like made out of raton like grass.
She had like barbies brushing the hair.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
You know.

Speaker 4 (40:24):
So there was that jealousy, yes, but I don't think
that necessarily makes me a bad brother if I just
you know, spoke to her the way that I speak
to her, which is not necessarily nice, but that's how
I not spoke to us.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
You know. Yeah, you didn't know them like that. I
didn't know you like that girl. I don't know you
like I mean you my sister, but I don't know
you like that grown. We don't even look at leg
like it's dead. All I know was dead. Dan helped
me Dad loves me. Dad does this to me. Listen
you I got I come home and there's two more.

(41:00):
You motherfucker's over here, and I'm like, who, who the
fuck are you?

Speaker 3 (41:04):
You know?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
And why is my dad holding you? Always over related? Girl?
Well girl, my dad is kissing that lady at the
house right right. I'm like, oh, you want me to
have a sister? Okay, do you want another one? Like?
You know? Girl? Why do we so woe? Are we
so bad? Everyone has to suffer? What are you? Are

(41:29):
you smoking something? Are you eating something? Over there? When
I have to drink this gallon?

Speaker 3 (41:34):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (41:34):
This is this is what keeps you pure. This is
what the glow is coming from. Always the it's it's
the it's the water.

Speaker 4 (41:42):
Yeah, it's exactly the water. It's the island water.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Is there your spread?

Speaker 4 (41:47):
No, it's just like I got it on Amazon and
you know how it's just like seventy am.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
This is how much you're supposed to have drank at
that time. So I'm doing good. Yeah I do. I
had a bottle like that, but it was purple. It
wasn't that big girl, Like it was big, but it
wasn't like, girl, do you drink because I tried to
drink at least a gallon a day of water to
flesh you out, yeah or something.

Speaker 4 (42:13):
You know it tells you like the doucheing too, Yes, yes,
and you know it's less time.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Well, I mean you all the p is on what
you eat, becausey that douche. Listen, that douche could come
back on you. I know.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
But the pure for man always got my back, like
the fibers always got my back.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
I didn't know you took pure for men.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Well, she is a domesticated lady now, and I've been
back for.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
They don't make her yet. They don't make her yet.
They do pure for women, they do, they have it.
It's pure for women, like as are you saying? I
used to I was, I promoted something for them like
one or two times. Yeah, I think I think it
was pure. That' pure for women, strong enough for women, praise.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
I think that's just for like I think I know
what you're talking about, but that's for like their vaginal
like stanch burl.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Listen, if you get in, if you getting a cock
put in your gluteus maximus, you better be pure. She's
always pure. So let's talk about you being a rebel

(43:30):
with a cause. Now, this show is called Outlaws for
a reason. An outlaw or a pariah in our culture
is often someone who ironically has their heart in the
right place, someone with the courage to speak up, standout
and pushback what it matters the most. Now, the guests
on my show, The Outlaws are some of the voices

(43:50):
of our time. They are rebel hearts who are challenging
the status quo and making a difference. So tell me
about a cause you care deeply about and how can
others join the movement?

Speaker 4 (44:02):
Ooh, I feel like one of the causes that I
truly cared deeply about is Ocean Conservative story. In twenty nineteen,
I made a video about like using classic straws and
like changing them metal straws and stuff, and gird video

(44:24):
like paid my bills for a couple of years because ay.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
Viral of me just being like it was just me
complaining about like it's my second day out.

Speaker 4 (44:32):
Here, and people were already like blame like coming for
me for using classic straws when anyways, Locke story short,
just living in an island and like in the Philippines
as well, like we have so many islands and just
like being surrounded by water my whole entire life. I
think ocean life, ocean Conservatory has just been one of

(44:53):
the causes that I always support because I feel like
I can talk about like gay causes, but I feel
like you're gonna have so many gay people on here
talk about that anyway.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
It's so no, you're gonna talk about women like the
ocean for you. Like, so you made a video and
you said paid your bills.

Speaker 4 (45:12):
Yes, So they went viral And at the time I
signed up for like TikTok, what is the TikTok creator
funds or whatever? And I think it broke the system
because I was like, how am I making There's much
money from Like there's one video and I think it's
just for people using using the sound of it. And

(45:32):
I ended up donating it to the Wildlife Conservatory in
Habaii and uh yeah. And every time I do like merch,
it always goes back to like ocean life and stuff
like that. Wow, I don't even like the ocean like that.
I don't even fuck with the water like that, but
I love it. It was like the straws hang out
on your nerves. Yes, did you see that video of

(45:54):
Donald Trump? Signing a bill about paper paper straw. I'm like, girl,
all the work I've done, bitch, all.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
The work that I've done, and you come through here
and put an executive autoactly about paper straw how dare
you you? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (46:12):
But honestly, like a part of me is like, you
know what, You're right? Though, they do turn soggy after
like five minutes. They do, they do, and that is
something we need to address, like honestly, but I don't
think we need to banish them because I feel like
there are some cool ones like that people are working
on that are made out of the coconut husk and
stuff that are actually like you know, fears. Yeah, but

(46:35):
paper shaws for sure, Like I paper straws are tired
because we be Yeah, I'm like, dare I say, I
might agree for a little bit, but it's a little bit,
you know, don't need abolish it all completely.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
I think we could do. Sorry, we still need to
use those paper straws, just just when they get too soggy.
It's like another one in like we should be able
to rotate them out. So I just I want to
know what, So what happened that made you feel a
way towards the plastic straw, so you were out of
the ocean and where they few swimming.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
I think, just like I think my whole life, it's
just always just like embedded in any places that I've lived,
especially like here and Help I A. When tourists come,
they really do come and trash our beaches, touch the wildlife.
Like there's so many like they'll play it even when
you enter Help I Eat like a video being like

(47:28):
don't touch the seals, and we got all these tourists,
like white people that just like think they can pet
a seal and then they cry about it online when
they get attacked or like you know all the sea
turtles like don't touch them, but they will still come
and like touch the sea turtles like thinking they're like
praying over them.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
When I'm like, girl, you just like fucked up that bitch,
Like that's richt. Yeah, So I think just.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
Like living here and watching all these like white people
touch and like trash our beaches. Honestly, like that was
probably my last straw. Basically, that was my last last straw.
You think Trump saw your video, he did, fuck you bitch. Well,

(48:24):
I love the way that you said fuck you bitch.
It brings, which brings me to the last part. It's
the banning bitch, the bannon bitch.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Yes, so what we're gonna do is that we're gonna
ban like you're gonna if you rule the world. You
know how to do this? Yes, well, here's how I'm
gonna set it off, and I'm gonna start it first.
So while you think gonna ponder on, I'm gonna do
my first. Okay, producers in the back, are you guys ready.
I want to ban men who like to have anal

(48:53):
sex but don't take pure for men. I want to
ban any man that wants to come to the house
and have sex, honey and have not used any doucean method.
I want to ban you from coming over here or
to any queen's house and force us, as pretty as
we are, to be tops. How can you force me

(49:14):
to be a top? And then you come here and
your ouchiwala ushi bang bang is dirty. You come here
and you put a glass of of chortenay next to
the bed and you drink that up, honey, and it's
bubbling your stomach and girl, I go in and I
come out, and then they're splattered everywhere like girl, what

(49:35):
is going on? I want to ban you from the
erotic sauce? Like, why are you having these erotical what
have you been watching so much that has made you,
that has given you the unmitigated gull to eat an
entire burrito and come to the house, Undush, please make
sure that when you come here, bet you're a peer.

(49:57):
I want to ban your un from a house. Amen.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
That was amazing? Do I agree with it?

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Or do I do? Minds Now you agree with that? Period?
You do agree with that, I practice that then period.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
If I rule the world, my name is Bremen Rock,
And if I rule the world, I would ban broke
man from signing up or even dating. Really, I feel
like broke men are too They have too much access
to dating apps, and I feel like you shouldn't just
be allowed to make a dating app.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
You should be allowed.

Speaker 4 (50:36):
They should start requiring men to put in their four
oh one k their salary is before signing up, because
I just feel like, if you're broke, you shouldn't date. Now,
this only goes for men, not for women, because I
feel like, you know, if you're a woman that needs
help a you should, but man who needs help no,
and nobody falls in love faster than a broke man.

(50:58):
I will tell you that girl. They be wanting to
move in after a week your first date, I'm like, oh,
you're broke, that's why you're falling in left so fast.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
So yeah.

Speaker 4 (51:08):
I feel like when men sign up for dating apps,
have their salary and poof of purchase and their reset
like last three tax forms.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Think you Brett, mean you're banning broke me in and listen,
I'm with you one now. We're not saying it broke
me and don't have good dick. Never that, We're not
We're not going to save that. We're just gonna say
that we're banning you guys from dating. You can give

(51:42):
the dick, but you can't be dated. You can't be
dated until you have the funds together. And once you
have the funds together, then you should be You should
be dating, and then you should also be douchey, because
if you have good dick in the front, you could
only imagine what you got in the back. Exactly, are

(52:07):
you verse?

Speaker 4 (52:08):
No, I'm just a pot I done it.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
I've oh god, I've talked once and it was just
what I said.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
It was No, it was actually just because like he
was big and I look like a chihuahua trying to
move a couch. Like it just it just was not
the fantasy. And it's just not for me, Like I
I like looking up not down. You know, that's more
of my angle leg serving.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I think, I think that I can see you in
a in a servitude manner, but very here's the thing.
I I've never liked topping either, Like that was not
like the thing on my thing. But you know, when
I got into adult films, you know, that's the thing
that they push, like they push because the fantasy is

(52:58):
a ts you know, topping the man. And I'm like, girl,
like I don't you know. And I used to do
a lot of bottoming videos and they would get like
really good views, but then like when I would put
one top video up, it would go insane, like they
would be like I'd be like, oh my god, what
do I have to do that this week? Like I

(53:21):
don't even respect him like that?

Speaker 3 (53:24):
Right, Like, girl, you don't like hunt, I see, I.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Have never been in that predicament. Honestly, I know because
you didn't. You came in as an influencer her that
I came in as a as a girl, as a
working girl that turned out well, no, not well.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
But also I've just never feel like I've been in
a situation where like a guy was like, I want
you to tap me. The one situation that I was in,
I felt like he was getting in that position and
I was like, oh my god, Like I felt like
I didn't have a choice. But like now it's like
definitely in the first like day, like, girl, I'm not

(54:08):
topping you.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
No, okay, you know, I'm in a space where now
where I'm like, you have the choice, you have a choice.
It's not like, you know, so I choose not to
to do that, but I will. I do like to
be chewed on, though exactly. I like to be here

(54:30):
and there. Yeah, I like to be tasted. Now. I
like for you to I like for you to taste
your food. I'd like for you to taste your food.
I do. I do like to be you know, fondled
and you know, treat me like a dog, bowling between me,
you know, getting feed me.

Speaker 3 (54:49):
You know.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
So I like that, But I'm not really into, you know,
the the mountain climbs. I'm really not into that.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
I'm not into moving couches, I've never moved a couch.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah, Like, are you dating? Yes?

Speaker 4 (55:10):
I have been with my boyfriend now for a year
next month actually, But we've known each other for six
years and we only started dating a year ago.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
How did that happen? Right person? Wrong time?

Speaker 4 (55:22):
We've met a club in a e and I thought
he was straight, and my cousin went up to him.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
I was like, are you gay?

Speaker 4 (55:29):
And he was like yeah, and we hit it off
that night and then we went out to go eat
where we ate is where I found out also that
he was talking to someone else. And I was like, baby,
I'm not a motherfucking roster girl. I'm not an option.
And I kind of just like left him that night,
didn't get his number. But a year ago, I was
scrolling on TikTok and I see this man and I'm like,

(55:52):
why do I know him? And I'm stalking and him
stocking and I reach out. Well, I you know, slid
in the DM a little bit on Instagram, but he
was private and I've never done that before. And as
I was about to message him, there was a six
year old message waiting for me that was like, I'm
sorry about tonight. I didn't get your number, I would
like out to take you on a proper date, And

(56:13):
I replied sixty years later and I'm like, is that
date still on the table. And we went on a
date that very night, and that's when we found out
that the guy he was talking to was like somebody
that he rejected, but was also like a composive liar
and was telling everyone they were dating because he didn't
like being rejected, I guess. And we've been together since,

(56:35):
but thanks to that guy that like lied about being
together with him, because I truly don't think we would
have worked out at twenty year old k me finding
out just my stuff and my dating life at the time,
because I was just like freshly bretman Rock and I
was still kind of finding out the same thing and
like what.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
It was all about.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
So I'm glad we didn't date when I was twenty.
I'm glad we're dating now that I'm twenty six. So
you're happy now, Yeah, I'm very happy. He's very understanding
and like I think patient is the word, Like he's
he gets what I do. I don't really have to
explain to him.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Right because that was gonna be my next question as
big of a star as you are, do you run
into difficulties with like when you're dating a person being
swallowed by your.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
Star h My first boyfriend definitely like had no patient.
They didn't even have social media, and I have to
explain everything to him. Like one time I was scrolling
on Twitter and I guess he'd seen someone's fucking dirty stuff,
dirty stuff, and he thought I was looking at it
because he had just like looked at my phone as

(57:46):
I'm like swirling past it. He's like, so these are
the type of people you follow, like, and I'm like,
this is just like a retweet of somebody's dick, and
like you know, and I can't avoid what I see
online that's not And I tried to explain that to him,
like he blew it out, Like he told his parents
and siblings that I was watching Born in front of him,

(58:06):
and I'm like, girl.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
So do you think there was a it was jealousy too?

Speaker 4 (58:21):
I think it was, well, yeah, honestly, because I think
he would even get at the time, he would even
get jealous when like girls would ask me for photos
and I'm like, I was just like sucking your dick,
Like why would I why would I want anything with girls,
you know, like, why are you jealous that girls are
asking me for photos? But this the boyfriend that I have,
and he also Madison like girl.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
He also did some blue head shit on me like
after he left. Yes, wait a minute, so they got
there down there Hawaii.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
Uh no, he's not from here. He's from Mexico.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Yeah. Well he did the real craft on you her.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
He and I was like out for four years. I
was a nun like I couldn't even find men attractive
for four years, like because he broke up in me
in twenty twenty one or twenty twenty And for four years,
I couldn't even like flirt with men without like gagging.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
I couldn't even get horny. I just was not Wait
a minute, did he tell you he did it? Now?

Speaker 4 (59:29):
I found out through a cleansing that I did with
a Native American woman, and she was like, why is
somebody holding your heart like he? She thought it was
my dad because it was a man that was like
holding my heart chok my heart chakra, like really tight
and like not allowing me to like fall in love.

(59:51):
And she was describing this man and I'm like, Okay,
that's not what my dad looked like, and she was
basically describing what my ex had looked like. She told
me she had asked me like did your ex do this?
And I remember when she said that, it clicked in
my head that like when I was with this man,
he would tell me stories about how he would help
his anti perform crafts on other people, and he would

(01:00:15):
joke around with me being like if you leave me,
like I'll make sure you never find anyone again, and
me being the delusional bitch I was, I'm like, girl,
you're so in love with me, like like your dant
you can't get enough?

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Yeah, he told you together, So is this the guy
you're with now? Oh? No? Hell no? Oh? I was like,
whit I made of girls? So you did? No?

Speaker 4 (01:00:41):
He I definitely had to do like some cord cutting,
some rituals of my own because I'm like, you don't
even understand how strong my ancestors are. Girl, if you
think your anti practiced that, like my grandma practiced her.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Her own man too, like, girl, don't fucking play with me.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
But also I will say I think for him, thankful
for him, because during that four year period of just
like my heart shop or being closed to everyone, it
was very open for myself and I truly fell in
love with myself and.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Just everything that made me me.

Speaker 4 (01:01:19):
I love my own company now and I think learning
that boundary from my first place ship definitely helped with
this one now because I tell this man, I'm like,
you're gonna see new weekends and you're gonna do good
work on the week days, and we only release each
other on the weekends. And that's and he understands because
he's in the Navy in the Special Forces, and he

(01:01:40):
works every day anyway, so he's like other bitch work
and it works.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
For us because be's the last. So basically, ladies and
gentlemen out there there, watch it. You gotta go. Get
you a close. I didn't know if your girlfriend or
your boyfriend has done some please because you never know.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
Wow, four years I couldn't even I couldn't even recognize
as ole man was like flirting with me like my
cousin would literally have to be like brat. He was
literally like flirting with you, and I wouldn't recognize it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
So, bitch, wait a minute, because I know we're went overtime.
I got it. What made you go to the BHA?

Speaker 4 (01:02:20):
So it was fashion week, and I was going I
was in Paris, and you know when you bring a
brown person to Paris for the first time and they
experienced Europe And I'm not saying I've never experienced like
racism or anything, but oh my god, yeah, oh my
Europeans like they would stare you down, like and all

(01:02:44):
they just there and I'm just like what, I'm not
the one that stinks. But anyways, because the girl, they
also smell up there, so I was just getting weird
lucks and I was and it was had been like
super rany in Paris and I was just going through
a depressive episode, I want to say, and I it
would It was after like Aboma on fashion show, and

(01:03:06):
I had like this lady that was like staring at me,
and she had looked like she was like whispering some things.
And I'm very like naturally like spiritually like a sensitive person,
and she was like passing a spell. Like it was
so weird because it was like so busy, but there
was like a spotlight on her and I was just

(01:03:26):
like staring at her the whole after party, just like
why is this bitch like staring at me? And she
would hide behind people to like stare at me, and
I had woken up the next day and I can,
I can. I knew that she attached herself to me
because she was the last person that I thought of
when I went to bed, the first person I thought
of when I woke up. And it's you know when

(01:03:48):
like somebody puts a post it on the back of
on your back and you can't like reach it, like
you just not like what it like she's she was
there like and I was just like, I think this
bitch like attached herself to me, and like it's basically
like feeding off my energy because that whole remainder of

(01:04:08):
my trip, I was just drained. And nothing excites me
more than like glitz and fashion and like getting ready.
I loved getting even getting ready today Ms. Madison, Like
I loved it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Hair baby, because when you came in that hair see oh.

Speaker 4 (01:04:23):
Yeah, I woke up at seven o'clock just to get
this hair ready for you, Like I love it all.
But like that was the first time where I was like,
the last thing I want to fucking do right now
is be seen. And that sentence have never left my
mouth twenty six years of living like rich, I want
to be seen what do you mean? So when I
got back to America, I had found like a healer

(01:04:45):
lady who is Native American and that's when I well,
it wasn't Actually it was my manager at the time
that found her that I also did like cleansing on her.
She's like, she's really great, and she was because she
taught me how to cut the cord. And you know
how I know it was real because we went no
contact for three years at this time, for three years,

(01:05:09):
and that was the first time he had tried to
call me again and I as I block his number,
he texted me, I'm just trying to help you, and
I'm like, help me with what? And like, why of
all the years do you want to reach out now
to day that I found out that you did some
shit on me? And I think he had a feeling
that we cut it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Yeah, has anyone been something on you before? Ms? Madison?

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
Who?

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
Or have you wait a minute, do you think that
I would know how to do that?

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
What, of course? But you know, I don't know. I
don't know because here's the thing, Like, I know I
got good witch pussy, and though I do I know
that once you once you jump off the side of
the bed in me, you're never coming out, and when
you do, honey, your life will just be in shambles

(01:06:12):
if you cross me up. But I think that's because
we're anointed, and I'm gonna say this, and then because
because there I know we gotta go. I'm gonna say
because we're annoyed to ask queer people who occupy major
spaces and like and have reached like we got millions
of people. That's the anointance from a higher authority. That's

(01:06:35):
a that's a higher up that has marked us. I agree,
because everybody everybody has a phone, everybody got an Instagram,
everybody got a TikTok, everybody got this, but everybody don't
break through. That's a market. And so because of that,
people throw dark, evil shit at us all the time. Jealousy, evil,

(01:07:00):
lie like, they throw this stuff at us all the
time because we are you know, public, and they're like,
you know, some people just like I wish they won't
say it out loud, but they'll be like, fuck that bitch. Yeah.
Why did bitch video got a million views on it?
Why is there two million views on her on her video?
Why is it? Why does she keep getting this why

(01:07:20):
is this I don't like and the evil is it?
Just like it's like I can't stand that bitch. I
hope that bitch. I hate that bitch. I wish that bitch.
Fuck that bitch, thinking ass bitch, that bitch. You know
that's throwing evil shit at you, like spiritually washed and
spiritually protected like that, because all of that is energy.

Speaker 4 (01:07:45):
We don't say one last story because I feel like
you would love it. When right before my eighteenth birthday,
my brother called me and he was like, Brad, Dontfrey,
but you're gonna die when you turn eighteen because God
got his palms right. Because my grandma was also an alboladio.
Growing up, she read people's palms, but never like the
family's palms. She was never allowed to read the family.

(01:08:08):
But my dad went to somebody else and the woman
had said that when I turned eighteen, and that your
widow child who's gonna be a boy, is gonna die.
So on my eighteenth birthday, I'm literally like caged in
my apartment and I'm like take me now. I'm like
staring in the and the ceiling. And that was when

(01:08:28):
the start of my spiritual journey began because I think
my when she said death, I think it was more
of like an ego death or like a soul death,
because I fully believe that I stepped into a new
life when I turned eighteen, and that even the voice
in my head turned into a woman. Now it's still

(01:08:48):
my voice, but there's also a secondary voice that's a
woman's voice. And Miss Madison, it is my grandma that
guides me. She guides me through so many things, because
at eighteen years old, I was like, how long will
this last? How long will I even have this light?
And when she came over me and I just felt

(01:09:10):
that she grabs my hand and she's like, I'm going
to make sure you cure, not cure, but like you
set the family up. I'm going to make sure you
are the reason why your ancestors gets to jump up
and down and gets to live their biggest dreams. Your
ancestors live their biggest dreams through you, Bretman, and you

(01:09:30):
have to celebrate that and you have to do this
for your family. And that was the first time I
believed that I was anointed and that I am supposed
to break this generational curse for my family. And I
think that's when I switched the whole villain story in
my head that Yes, maybe I was the reason why
my family isn't together anymore, but I think it was

(01:09:53):
because I had to step in as a father figure
of a father that my dad couldn't be.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Now I get to say that I bought my mama house.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
My brother and my sister have successful businesses, not because
of me, but you know, just me being around to
guide them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
They get to do that.

Speaker 4 (01:10:12):
And I can honestly say I get to be the
father that my dad could never have been.

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
And that's what, you know, cured me. I think that
you're That was beautiful, and it just told me that
your physical mind died and your spiritual awakening. Yes, so
that's that's what happened, Bretman. I love you. I want
you to email me so that we can exchange numbers. Yes,

(01:10:41):
talk to you about some stuff. I'm supposed to be
coming to Hawaii. Please, I'm supposed to supposed to be
coming to Hawaii soon. Please. I'll feed you, Yes, I
will eat over there. We're going to go. Outlaws is
a production of the Outspoken Network from iHeart Podcasts and
Turtle Entertainment Call created by Tyler Rabinowitz and Olivia Peace.

(01:11:04):
I'm your host Tias Madison. We are executive produced by
Tyler Rabinowitz, Maya Howard and Tias Madison. Our simpervising producer
is Jessica Krincicch and our producers are Joey pat and
Cormon Braul. Our video editor is Tyler Rabinowitz, and our
sound editor is just Crimechicch. Our associate producer is Trent

(01:11:24):
high Tower Special thanks to our producer's assistant, Daniel Rabinowitz.
Our theme song is composed by Wazi Merritt. Our show
art is by Pablo Montana. Catch you next week, Honey,