Episode 32: Life, Love, and the Limelight: A Conversation with Mike Hill and Cynthia Bailey-Hill

I don’t know about you, but Gianno needs a break from politics. So, for this podcast, Gianno does something fun and a little different: He takes a step back from the political nonsense and talks about relationships with power couple Mike Hill and Cynthia Bailey-Hill. They discuss love, life in the limelight, and the inside scoop on reality TV. But before sharing some laughs, they get serious and address the national debate about race and police shootings that is raging across the country.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Up next Out Wow what you don't know called part
of the Gang, which switch actually football. I don't know
about you, but I need a break from politics, so
we're gonna do something fun and a little different this week.
Trust me, you will want to stick around. This is
Out Loud with Gianna Callblow. Welcome Back to Allow with

(00:27):
Gianno Caldwell. I got a very special show for you
guys this week. For the first time, I'm having on
two guests. They're good friends of mine. I've been to
their homes, spend time with them, and they are great,
great people. I'm talking about Mike Hill and Cynthia Bailey Hill,
a power couple have been mary since October of last year.
Mike is a veteran broadcaster and television personality who currently

(00:48):
works at Fox Sports and the Black News Channel. He's
also the author of Open Mic ran On, his memoir
about his life that came out last year. His wife, Cynthia,
is a model, actress and reality star from the Real
Housewives of Atlanta Today. I want to talk to them
about all things relationships. Plus I want to get into
the entertainment industry and maybe get some inside scoops about

(01:10):
their life in the limelight. But before we go there,
we're about to address the national debate about racing police
shootings that is raging across the country. Let's go. I
am so honored to welcome Mike Hill and Cynthia Hill Bailey. Yeah,
I know, we in here. We here. If I can

(01:33):
tell you how many times we say that to each other,
like any time your name comes up for the rest
of the day, no matter what, we always say, we're
in here. I'm so excited that I made such a
great impact on your lives, so so thankful for that.
So this episode is extremely special to me. It's about relationships,

(01:57):
It's about love, and it's something that you all know
so much about, having had relationships and years of experience
and so much knowledge that you're gonna drop on us today,
so much that I'm expecting to learn. But before we
get started there, I wanted to just talk about what's
going on in the moment in our country, whereas we
have a number of police involved shootings that have occurred,

(02:20):
We're still in the Derek Chauvin trial from his murdering
of George Floyd, and we're the temperature is really high
right now, and rightfully so I would argue because there
needs to be something done. We need police reform. There
has to be solutions, and I wanted to get each
of your takes on what's going on in this moment

(02:40):
and what could we potentially do to end it till
folks can feel safe and we can just live together
as a united community. Well that's the tough question because
I think if we actually had the solutions, we probably
started working towards them. But I think from our side,
I think from UH, as a black man who's been

(03:01):
pulled over and been harassed, who's been profiled before, I
think the first step is, you know, I think the police.
And I'm not saying white police, I'm not saying black police.
I think it's the blue I don't think it's a
black white issue. Most of the time when it comes
to police relations with African American people, I think it's
more of a blue issue because a lot of times,

(03:22):
and I don't know if it's training, I don't know
if it's just the mindset, but we're viewed as a
threat automatically. We've even heard policemen say that before. When
they go into certain neighborhoods, they fear automatically and and
that needs to start there. They need to see us
as humans and not as somebody they can pick up

(03:44):
and and and get points for, you know, doing their
job or whatever or whatever you call that, or you know,
or just feel like we're automatically out there to get them,
We're doing something wrong. There's an issue in this country
when uh, three times as many black men and women
are killed by police officers than white people, uh and

(04:07):
a lot of times many times they're unarmed. We've seen that,
as you mentioned with George Floyd. We've seen that with
Dante right just moments, you know, not too long ago.
We've seen it with Eric Garnand we've seen it so
many times and so many names. We can say their
names over and over again. But for the smallest infractions

(04:28):
as well. It could be a tail light, it can
be lucy cigarettes, it can be allegations of a counterfeit
twenty dollar bill. So until I think the police black
white indifference Latino start seeing us as humans and not
just a threat, I think we're gonna have this problem.
So we're gonna have police perform whatever we need to do,

(04:50):
train and get rid of some of the bad cops.
And when you bring in the new cops. They have
to have the right mentality, in the right attitude towards
Black people to see us the way we need to
be seen, and that's as human beings and not as
a threat. Right. And um, I would agree with my

(05:11):
husband on this one. You know, for the most part,
I think one of the most important things we can
do is do what we're doing with you just keep
the conversation going, you know what I'm saying. Um, you know,
keep posting about to keep talking about it. Um, I've
been around for a long time. I will say this
is the first, you know, since the movement, Like all
these things have been happening for years, okay, just on

(05:33):
different levels and just you know, just not you know,
just worst video footage. The video footage has gotten better,
but it's still the same videos of people just and
justice happening over and over again to black folks. So
I would say, we got to just keep talking about it,
and we gotta keep protesting, and we have to keep
bringing it up, and we have to keep putting electing people,

(05:55):
putting you know, different people in place that can reper
s black people to try to make effective change, and
just you know, keep the conversation going as parents of
young adults who drive. Um, you know, going back to
what Mike was saying about like it could be the
most I mean, basically, no one could run a stop sign,

(06:17):
get pulled over, and literally be in fear of just
something a simple arrest or you know, a warning or
anything going to the left if she didn't comply in
a certain way or they didn't feel like she complied
in a certain way. And Mike, you know, used the
word you know, they see us. He used the word threat.

(06:38):
He said that they see us a threat. Sometimes I
don't feel like some of these situations are even seen
as a threat. Like if I'm a grown, fifty four
year old black woman, if I'm driving my car and
I see blue lights behind me, I'm I will immediately
go into panic mode. I don't have any warrants, I've
broken any laws, but I just feel like I live

(06:59):
in Atlanta, Georgia. Uh if I get the wrong police
officer to pull me over for whatever reason, as someone
who has no criminal history, who has no reason to
be afraid, I am honestly afraid. I'm praying that I
get a good cop that is going to treat me
with respect, asked me for my credentials, run my tax whatever,

(07:23):
tell me what I did wrong, and send me on
my way as to it ending up going left or
being tased or shot for no reason. And then that's
and that piggyback and off of that is that's the problem,
is that we shouldn't be in fear of somebody that
we pay with our tax dollarge us to protect and
serve us. We shouldn't have that fear, but we do.

(07:46):
And it's not something new, and people think, you know,
it's something new, and we're screaming and yelling. We're screaming
and yelling because it's been happening our entire lives. It's
just now being exposed because of social media. Everybody has
a camera phone of course obvious slee uh. Police officers
have their body cams now, so it's being exposed and
put out there in the open. But you know, other

(08:07):
things get rid of qualified immunity. Maybe I don't know
if it's completely defunding the police, but it definitely needs
to be reformed. There needs to The George Floyd Act
needs to be passed in Congress because if there's a
bad cop that's doing bad things, and he gets fired
from a position in one city, shouldn't just be able
to go to another city and get another job. So

(08:27):
there needs to be that database. So there are a
lot of different issues that need to be rectified. I
don't know if I have the correct answer to answer
your question, but there's a lot and uh, we we we.
There has to be a change because it can't go
on for long, and accountability first and foremost. So when

(08:48):
you talk about accountability, the reason why a lot of
black people are upset is not only because we're being
killed in the streets. Unarmed black people are being killed
in the streets. And I'm not saying that everybody they
gets pulled over doesn't deserve to go to jail, because
they do. There's people if if you're committing to crime,
you're doing something wrong and you threaten the police in
any kind of way, or if you got a weapon

(09:09):
or whatever. I get that, But we want the same
treatment that we see our white counterparts getting. We want
that equality and we want accountability. So if somebody does
do something wrong and they get charged, we want an
indictment first and foremost. Didn't have that with the Brianna Taylor,
we didn't get the we didn't get the charges. But

(09:30):
we also have seen numerous times where somebody that could
kill a black person who was unarmed, get off and
not even be charged. Eric Garner's situation, his copies, his
the copass is, you know, back on the force. I mean,
so you see those types of things happening and you
wonder why. So that's why it's important for this Derek

(09:52):
Chauvin trial. Um, I'm praying, I'm praying that there's accountability
in that case. I'm praying there's some sense of accountability
when it comes to the Dante Rights situation in some ways,
because once I think the police officers start seeing that
they're having to pay for their transgressions, then that will

(10:19):
deter others, hopefully from committing the same crimes, because if
they feel like they can do it and get away
with it, they're going to continue to be bold, continue
to be aggressive, continue to brutalize black people in these streets.
And uh, it's just not a good thing at all. Yeah,
and and and just in closing, if these police officers

(10:42):
feel so bold and so comfortable doing the things that
we have seen them do when they know they're being video,
what in God's name doing that we don't see you
have been doing for years? You know what I'm saying,
What if no one's there take what if we don't
have the video footage? What if they feel that comfortable

(11:06):
doing the things that they have done and they know
it's being filmed. I can't imagine what happens when it's
not being filmed and they actually make it to the
police station, Like what what are the boundaries? Like? What?
Like I I just I mean, thank god we actually

(11:26):
have video footage, because if we didn't, you know, then
what and what happens when it's not being video That's
what I'm saying that so so in Bolden, you see
Derek Chauvin, no one's being taped, he still put his
hand in his pocket and still do it. I mean
that's like we're just he's just smirking right in your face.
That hurts that that is you know, that's throwing salt

(11:49):
in the wound. Were like, I know what I'm doing
and I'm getting away with and there's nothing you can
do about it. It was literally almost smiling anyway, Hey,
I know this is doing I know this is wrong.
You know that this is despicable but I don't care.
What are you guys gonna do about it? Nothing that change.
They do not fear us, they do not respect us,

(12:11):
and they do not value us, and that has to change. Well,
thank you all for sharing your thoughts on that, and
certainly that I agree with a number of your points there.
And I've had experiences myself, and of course I have
no criminal background or anything like that. But even when
I go get my driver's license, I make sure that
I have a fresh haircut. I wear a suit and

(12:33):
a tie, and I smile. So if someone pulls me
over and they see my ID, they think a little
deeper about who I might be or because it's not
typical to have a suit on and smiling in your
in your I d especially with some some of the
mean to cut y'all Giano, they don't even wait to

(12:53):
see your identification. They pull you over and they're automatically
look Lieutenant Nazario, the person of Virginia. You know, he
didn't have a tax on his on the back, but
he had him in the window. And he pulls over
and he feels like his life is in danger. He
feels scared. He pulls over in a lit area and
the police officers already uh in aggressive mode because he

(13:17):
sees that face. George Floyd is sleeping in the clock
car at the time, and the cop already has his
gun out, so before he can even present any kind
of identification, all they see is the black face you
know so, and and and and then that's another thing
after And I don't mean to cut you off, John,
I know who You're not gonna try and take over
your podcast, bro, But it's it's it's it's it's that

(13:40):
that that's the problem is once again, it's like they
it's jumping to the conclusions before we can even identify
ourselves to find out who we are. And then even
after you get arrested, you get brutalized, you get killed.
Then automatically there is another assassination that happens, the character
assassination that happens afterwards. We because they bring up everything

(14:01):
in your past that had nothing to do with this
particular situation that you were in at that moment. So
all of that is a big reason why and I
understand why you're doing it, but you shouldn't have to.
You shouldn't have to. And that's the problem, Giano, is
that you shouldn't have to go and get a haircut.
You shouldn't have to go that's true. That's true, and

(14:21):
I don't disagree with you on that point. I know
that for folks that are listening right now, there's gonna
be folks who agree with what you're saying, and they're
gonna disagree. I think I agree, and I've said to
conservatives I said on Fox News where individuals it has
nothing to do with the background. I shouldn't be hearing
about what George Floyd did in this criminal past. I

(14:42):
don't care about that. I don't care about their being
drugs in this system. What I do care about it
there was an officer who did something that was against
this code of conduct. So I hear that completely. So
what I'm hearing to summarize the US point of view
is we need to have the conversation, continue to talk
about it, continue to lift our voices and use our platforms.
And although I may not agree with everything that you

(15:02):
two have said, I do agree that there's a necessity
to have the conversation started. I think the police departments
need to be reformed. I don't think the police departments
need to be defunded, especially coming from where I come
from on the South side of Chicago, not having police
could be a death sentence because we got our own
people killing each other um as well, So that's a
that's another consideration. So you know, this is one of

(15:24):
those times where I think we all do need to
united as a country and speak out against um police
misconduct and and and violence. We gotta really be legitimately
have legitimate conversations around it and look to make changes
and leave politics out of it. So that's what I
personally believe, and I think you offer your your thoughts
on that now as we go into something that's a

(15:46):
little bit more of a lighter part of it. And
my wife said she wasn't gonna say that much about it,
but she got a lot to say. I don't I personally,
you know, don't you know it's upsetting every time, you know,

(16:09):
just even talk about it, because then it makes me
think about the news news clips and the videos, and
I'm like, and then it just makes me upset. So no,
I don't want to consume myself with seven because it's
it's depressing. It's very depressing, very depressing. So anyway, moving
on to relationship talk, we're talking to Mike Hill and

(16:32):
Cynthia Bailey here on the Outloue with gianno Conwell we've
got much more with them, ACTI quick, right, thank you
all for coming on to educate us on and you
know what your experiences at Madam and relationships. And you
all are obviously a power couple. You're on television every day. Um,

(16:55):
you're you're very viral. You're on the Real Housewives of
Atlanta and I think is the number one out of
the entire franchise for Bravo. So this is this is
a really good time to understand your story and what
you all have gone through and experiences, your challenges outside
of each other and with each other. And of course, Mike,
you wrote a book called Open Mic where you talk

(17:17):
deeply given your perspective on relationships. But let's start from
the very beginning. So a logical place would be to
start with how you all met, And let's let's kick
that off. Mike, go ahead, Well, we we met in
the most unconventional way. We actually met on the Steve
Harvey Show when he had a talk show on NBC.

(17:37):
He was doing a dating segment, UH and A, and
he had Cynthia on the show before. He's a good
friend of Cynthia's and he wanted to help Cynthia out
with her dating life. I was on a dating app
and he's old school. Steve is old school. He was like,
what the hell are you doing on dating app? You
don't need to be on dating ap. You know, I
got I know plenty of brothers that would blood to

(17:57):
go out with you, So, you know, joking around, I
was like, well, if you think you can do a
better job than find me somebody and I can then
go for it. Joking, you know, I didn't know fast
Forward I would actually actually be doing his dating pool. Yeah. So,
so there was a producer that reached out and I
was doing fast Sports radio and reached out to a
friend of mine or my co host at the time,

(18:18):
and said, hey, you know what, might be interested in
doing a dating show, um and meet one of the
real housewives of Atlanta. My first question was which one,
because obviously, because not all of them would have gotten
my attention. But when he said Cynthia, I'm like, okay, cool, Yeah,
go on there. Well that goes without saying that goes

(18:40):
without saying I just you know, you know, everybody knows
Cynthia Bailey's to find is the most classy one of
all the Housewives franchises, but now not true. It really
is you, my baby, I can say that, but you know,
so I went on there and I didn't expect much.
I didn't think Cynthia Bailey was going on there looking
for real love. I thought it was just some kind
of publicity things. So I was going to go along
with it and uh, the whole Obviously, I won the

(19:02):
dating pool and went there, and yeah, but it was
a slow burn, right, baby, wasn't well. The crazy thing
is my PR team didn't want me to actually do
the segment. I was on Steve Show promoting Housewives at
the time, and we were just playing around and then
when they went his when people circled back, and I

(19:22):
was like, hey, we really would like for Cynthia to
come undo stays dating pool. He really wants to up
hook her up. And my PR team at the time
was like, you know, we don't really think, you know,
it's a good look. Really, we just don't feel really
feel like you need to do it. You know, they
don't really you know, it's kind of it's not really
it's not really like a celebrity version of it, Like

(19:43):
basically they're like, it's usually for regular people and not
for folks on TV. So from a PR Steff Wonder
like it's beneath you basically to do it. You shouldn't
do it, but you know what, I'm going hear me
some loser like Mike our team and trying they were
trying to look at for my best interests. But here's

(20:06):
the thing, you know, I always just kind of go
with my spirit and my heart and just kind of
do whatever I want to do. Like I have a
great team of people that you know, give me great advice,
but at the end of the day, I'm going to
do what I want to do. And it just kind
of came up at a time where I was like,
you know what, as long as I have to get
stuck with nobody that I don't like, as long as

(20:26):
I if I don't have to pick anybody, if I
don't like any of these dudes, let's go, let's have fun.
And it was a free trip to l A and
I love being out in l A. So I was like,
let's let's go. Let's make it happen. So she made
it happen once again. She picked me, and I didn't
think anything of it. I like, like I said, I
thought i'd see her around, you know, maybe a couple
of years later and invent celebrity event of whatever and

(20:49):
say hey, let me stop Mike. Okay, first of all,
Mike was the cutest one. He was was lined up. Okay,
hold on, why why did you hear the shade? She said,
like it was Mike and a bunch of I'm like,
I'm not an Elba's clan. It's like it wasn't like

(21:14):
you know what I'm saying is Mike was definitely the standout. Okay.
When I was walking out to the stage, Mike and
these two other really nice guys were already out there. Okay,
they had three other dudes. They were like backup dudes
because I could switch a guy out if I didn't
like what I saw when I made it out there.
And when I walked past the backup guys, I was like,

(21:34):
I hope to hell does some better looking men on
this page. The backup plans are not gonna be backing
anything up over here. So um, anyway, long story short,
and I know we're not making it short. That's okay
out in every way, he just came off just super confident.

(21:56):
Um fun uh. He came off way more spirit and
religious than he actually is the man at he has
not taken me to church once we have, we haven't
been able to church. This is I've known you almost
four years now. If I stepped inside a church with

(22:18):
Mike kill at this point, it will probably fall down
on us. But I remember what stood out was every
question that I asked him, you know, had something about God.
So I was like, Okay, now I'm trying to be
as lady. I don't know if I want to be
the first lady. Is he? Is he getting better go
into I mean there's clearly a ministry inside this me. No,

(22:38):
But every question that that was a genuine answer. You know,
I still have I have a strong belief in God, strong,
very spiritual. You know, every night. This is the first
man I've ever been with that we get on our
knees every name. And so just because we're not in
the house of the Lord, doesn't mean that the Lord
isn't inside us, you know what I mean? So yeah, absolutely, man,
that's what That's what relationship is built on. But once

(23:00):
in so she picked me slow burned. I didn't think
I was going to actually see her. We went on
a date because the producers actually tricked us because it
went a couple of weeks right back, it was like
a week well, and then so I get I get
an email from the producer, and the emails from the
produce like Cynthy Bailey really likes you, she really wants
to go out with you. Is it okay for you

(23:22):
to have her number and give her a call? Like
oh really? And lo and behold. It was telling her
the same thing, you get in touch with you directly, okay. Well,
when I was like all right, sweating me so hard. Gone.

(23:44):
But you know what's funny because one of the things
I've really walked away when I first initially met when
I first initially met Mike, before we even went out
on a date, was just thinking, you know, it just
seems like a good dude, Like I didn't know, like,
you know, I wasn't like, oh my god, like I
can't wait to go out with him, and this is
death with someone I could see myself spending the rest
of my life with. My takeaway was he just felt

(24:05):
like a good guy, Like he just felt like he
had good intentions and he was funny, and he was cute,
and you know, he was likable, and he just felt,
you know, like someone that even if we didn't, you know,
if it didn't happen for us, I wouldn't mind having
him as a friend, which is one of the most

(24:26):
important things you can have in any kind of relationship
that gets serious, is the friendship first. And I felt
like I could be friends with the man. Yeah, and
piggyback off of that, I felt the same way even
if it wasn't somebody I was going to spend the
rest of my life with. With Cynthia, when I first
got to know her, I felt like, I'm going to
know this woman. She's going to be a part of

(24:47):
my life in some capacity. I don't know what, but
I felt a connection with her and she was just
so sweet, so genuine, which she still lives in this
very day. Uh. And I was like, maybe I could
introduce her to her next husband, or she introduced me to,
you know, my next wife. Who knows. But I knew
after a short amount of time that she was going
to be in my life for a long period of time.

(25:08):
And uh, you know, I'm lucky enough that she's my
wife and now she's Mrs Hill, not Cynthia. You said
it was like at first sight rather than love at
first sight. How did things change to love? Things changed
well to love. She might not want to get too graphic,
but things changed over time. You know what, We just

(25:29):
took our time. You know what, what's important to me
when someone expresses an interest in getting to know me
is consistency. You know what I'm saying, Like, and I'm
not saying you gotta blow me up the whole time,
but if you start off calling me five times a

(25:51):
week and then you drop down to once every two weeks,
that's not gonna work from miss bailing. Now, if you
start off calling me once every two weeks and that's
just what we're doing, then that's fine, but you can't, like,
you gotta be consistent with what, what, whatever it is like,
you got to be consistent with it. And one of
the things about Mike was he was consistent. You know,

(26:14):
he would call and check in. He wasn't like overly
checking in, but he made it pretty clear that he
wanted to be in touch. You know, he had some
distractions going on at the time when I met him,
have some things he was in the l a street.
You have some thoughts out there too. I had some
distractions going on at the time as well, so neither

(26:34):
one of us was like it in a rush to really,
you know, do anything. But it just got to a
point where the more I really started talking to him
more consistently, and then when we kind of graduated from
just talking and text into face timing. Um. I just
remember specifically he he had started writing his book and
he was like reading me some stuff from his book,
and I just was I just remember thinking, wow, like, okay,

(26:57):
guy and his brother been through something, you know, Like
it just kind of made me want to know more
about him. And I love um, you know, I don't.
I don't want to say I love people struggles, but
I love to see someone want to be better. I
love people that are trying to be happy. And I

(27:21):
loved when people are on a quest for peace, and
I love when people are just trying to live in
their purpose. And I felt like he was trying to
figure it out, and I felt like some of the
things that he was telling me about his past, it
just didn't seem like he was happy or happy. And

(27:41):
for me, that is devastating because I'm always on a
quest for peace. I have peace, and I even want
more peace Like that is I used to say I
just want to be happy. I don't say that anymore.
I say that I want peace because I feel like
I believe that if I have peace, I have happiness happiness.
But I could have happiness and I have peace. So

(28:05):
I wanted to see him when even if I wasn't
included at the end of his journey, but I wanted
to be supportive of what he would. It felt like
he was trying to do for himself, like I felt
like there was some self love missing or something, and
I wanted to Um, I don't know, I just roote
it for him, and then I ain't marrying a man.

(28:26):
What do you want me to say? Yeah, it's interesting
because I've had the honor and privilege of knowing Mike
before he met you, Cynthia. And one thing I realized
when Mike and I we would go out. We may
go to a restaurant, bar, or whatever the situation was,
and I just remember, whatever you need to say correctly.

(29:05):
That was the old man the new man here. But
no I saw I saw a sincere change in Mike.
When y'all begin dating in I'll never forget you said
that again, Like what kind of change when you say
a sincere change? Like what meaning? He was all about you?
And I think everyone realized that from seeing social media,

(29:28):
Instagram and all of that good stuff. But I'll never
forget talking to you, Mike. We were a town. It
was a Friday night in Los Angeles hangout. We were
there all the time that I'm sorry to take that
part out. That's gonna be a beat. John put a

(29:51):
beat Cassi producing, he'll beat that word. But sincerely, though,
I remember talking to you on a Friday night, Mike.
I don't remember if you you remember this. I don't
know if you remember this, but I was like, man, bro,
like are you in love? Like you? And he was like, Bro,
it's real, um and love. I'm like, man, because you

(30:15):
were going so hard. I'm like, I never seen this before.
So it was just so interesting to see that transition
just take place and it hit hard. It was almost
like you know when you you data celebrity, like y'all
both celebrities. You have both been on television. That's all
good and fun, but sometimes you kind of you go
in slow just to see how a person responds to

(30:38):
you and you don't you know, you don't take it
up a notch too quickly. But Bro was hit nor
I couldn't believe it. So it was almost like a certainty,
like you knew, Mike, did you know that this was
gonna be your wife? Like? When did you know? You know?
I didn't know, like I said, in the beginning of
our relationship, and a lot of people didn't know about
our relationship for a while, obviously, because when you're dating

(30:59):
a select really you need to keep that quiet for
a while because you know, people come for you and
and it's a different animal once you're out in the open.
Even if I've been on television, Cynthia is the celebrity.
I'm just a dude that's on television. I've been on
television for a while. But she's a celebrity and I
understand that, and it's a different animal that's out there.
So we didn't uh tell people publicly for a long

(31:21):
period of time, maybe about four months into a us
dating uh And then during my birthday, she did something
really special and it kind of made me say, like, oh, okay,
well she's she's a little different. She did something that
nobody had ever done from me, but nobody else. Still
my birthday party, so pretty much threw the man a
birthday party and he was in Well it wasn't but

(31:42):
it wasn't just a birthday party, but it was like
an intimate affair. She had set up her wind seller
before it actually had gotten built out, you know, candle lights, whatever,
cater and I'm like, this is this is for me.
I've always been I've always been a giver in relationships.
I've always been the one that has been asked to give,
and you know, you know, you receive a little bit,

(32:04):
but I never really expected it. And if I received something,
that was always in return or something I've given. Nobody's
ever given me something without me actually giving them something.
So when Cynthia did that for me and always tried
to look out for him, like she's a little different
and it had nothing to do with her celebrity or
her family whatnot. I wanted to date the individual. I
wanted to date the person Cynthia Deniece Bailey, and that's

(32:27):
why I found out. So over a period of time,
I just started to open up a little bit more
because you'll tell you I in the beginning, I was
very guarded, guarded. Michael's very guarded when I met him. Uh,
he was always kind of looking like literally was trying
to get in the door, but had an exit, exit
strategy the whole time. Yeah. Um, he was afraid to fall,

(32:50):
afraid to commit, afraid to be honest, he was just
afraid of everything. Yeah, And it was obvious. And I'm
you know, he met me at a point in my
life where not only do I know what I want,
I know what I don't want. You know what I mean.
And I'm like, look, we're doing this, we're not doing this.
Like I'm not like I don't go for me relationships.

(33:14):
You know, I don't have like a fear, like I
just love my pisces. I jumped all in with both feet.
If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't,
it doesn't. It ain't that deep, so I'm not really
trying to be halfway in and trying to be halfway out.
And I was like, dude, like, either we're gonna do
this or we're not gonna do this, Like this is
not a host situation we want if you're scared, if

(33:36):
you're that concerned and you just don't know if you
if this is making you this uncomfortable. We don't have
to be together. But but but but it wasn't an
uncomfortable with just me still figuring it out. I was
still going through my process, and like you said, I
was writing my book at the time, and I was
working through my issues. As I told you before, Giano,
my book was my first form of therapy. We talked

(33:57):
about this as black men growing up in certain environ
ments or just in general. You know, it's just not
something that we have in our community is therapy. And
my book became my therapy. And as I was writing
my book and I was sharing some of my stories
in my past and my truths with Cynthia, she was
the first woman that really accepted and didn't judge me

(34:20):
for him as a matter of fact, that brought us closer.
And as I started, as I started talking about a
little bit more, I felt like I can trust her
because I can tell her some of my most intimate
details that I probably hadn't even told people before. And
the reaction that she gave me made me feel like
I could trust her a little bit more. So I well,

(34:40):
I will say this and then we can move on
to the next question. I'm a very secure woman. I'm
extremely secure, and I think it's very rare to find
someone that says it and it's actually true. Like I'm
not going to question stuff. I'm not trying to check
your messages. I don't care about any that. I don't

(35:00):
give a damn who you following. I don't care. But
as long as you if you're with me, as long
as you're being appropriate, I don't care about you. Like
it that part, And she's a classy one on the
house because people don't anyway. But like there's like I think, like,

(35:26):
you know, I don't know what Mike was used to,
but I feel like I know, I know l a dating.
I know that's like and I feel like it's a
lot of game playing and like, oh, you know you
gotta be like, oh, let me try to you know,
if you text me, let me wait two or three
days the texting back, like playing all these stupid games
that I do not play. If I like you, I'm

(35:47):
going to act like I like you. And if you're
looking for a challenge, if you think me calling you
a couple of times a day that I'm not being
a challenge anymore, that's a turn off. And you can
miss me with all of that, Like, I'm not playing
any of those games at this point in my life.
I've never played those games. I'm certainly not going to
do it now. And I felt like, you know, Michael's
used to at L a dating style, and it was

(36:08):
like I think he had been, you know, in some
situations before me that maybe didn't work out for him,
that he would have liked for them to work out,
and I think those people may have been playing games.
So it was just kind of like a weird like like,
you know, we just had to kind of just have
a come to Jesus on it because I'm not I'm secure.
I don't care what you did. It is what it is.

(36:30):
If you want to be with me, then be with me.
And if you don't gonna be with somebody else, Like
it's just not that complicated. And if you want to
call me, if I want to call you fifty five
times a day, I'm going to call you fifty six
times a day. That's how something of Bailey rolls. And
if I don't feel like talking, I'm gonna say, hey,
I love you, babe. I don't feel like talking today.

(36:52):
Like I just think honesty and transparency and realness is
what really matters at the end of the day. And
then somebody's checking for you. They hear you because they
like you, but if they ain't really checking for you
that hard, they're gonna find a reason to not go
with whatever you're what, whatever you're trying to be honest about.
You know what I'm saying, because at the end of

(37:13):
the day, if I'm telling you the truth and telling
you how I feel and I'm being vulnerable and putting
it out there and you use it against me in
some way, that's childish, that's stupid. That's playing games like
I don't. I don't like stuff like that, and I'm
not that girl. And again I feel like i'm I don't.
I can say I don't know who else. I do
know a lot of people who's been he's been with,
but I'm secure, I don't know if that was always

(37:34):
his experience. So the rules change when you're dealing with
someone that actually is curious. So then you gotta be like, Okay,
well this is different. She's not harassing me. She let
me hang out. Mike has like more girlfriends that he
has guy friends. I don't care. Yeah, and I know
him all like being around a lot of women, also
a flir. He's a lot of those things. But as

(37:56):
long as he's not disrespectful to me or being inappropriate,
if he's with me, I don't care. Do whatever you
gotta do to feel good. Brother, whatever you got going on,
ain't got nothing to do with me. What you need,
what you need to feel good, and got nothing to
do with me. So if um, you know, however you move,
as long as it's not disrespecting me, if you're with me,

(38:19):
we're good. Mm hmm. Now you know what's interesting social
media these days? And Cynthy, I know you have three
point three million followers on Instagram and it's it's a
popular culture thing. And to be very honest with you all,
I feel a little hopeless with where the culture is
when it comes to dating and social media and the

(38:40):
girls being half naked. And I'm recently out of a
relationship that I thought was gonna go the distance but
it didn't, and it it kind of made me feel
a bit bad about what dating may look like, uh
kind of moving forward and almost, like, to be honest
with you, I seemingly don't really want to date and
that's really the feeling that I get because it just

(39:02):
seems like it's a lot of trash out there and
women these days, at least from what I've seen in
a number of instances. I know that's not all women,
but it just seems like it's just a fast paced
kinda l a vibe and you know, how much money
do you have? What can you do for me? And
it's just it seems like a very toxic culture um

(39:23):
these days. What advice would with you both either you know?
Please both of you responded, is what advice would you
have for those who are interested in getting married and
feel hopeless? Because I'm almost feeling like, man, I don't
know if I'm gonna ever get married, and I'm thirty four,
and I feel like, you know, Mike, I know you've
been married a couple of a couple of times. I'm like,
my man has been married a couple of times. I
can't even get one, like what's going on all my

(39:46):
alimony payments. I appreciate that and all the money I've
lost over the years in a heartache, and thank you
for ripping off the band ai G. I know I
appreciate that, but go ahead, I'm sorry you got a
lot of advice to get we're being real, I would
you were here here well, first of all, first and foremost,
I was sad to hear that your last relationship didn't

(40:07):
work out. You know. Michael was kind of you know,
I was kind of hearing things from him, how it
happy you were, and it just seemed like it was
it was the one. And then when he said that,
you guys, it didn't work out, and I don't don't
even remember the reason, maybe didn't even tell him, I
can't remember, but whatever he told me didn't work out. So, um,
I was sad to hear that because it seemed like

(40:29):
you were happy, um with In regards to the question
that you're asking me, I would say to you, first
of all, don't let you know the fact when things
don't work out, sometimes it's a good thing because that
person could be in the way of the person that
you're supposed to be with when it happens, you know

(40:50):
what I'm saying. So that's just part of your journey,
that's part of whatever you whatever. Take the good of,
whatever the good was, let you know, let it be
a teachable moment, whatever, and go into this next thing
whenever it HAPs definitely a teachable moment, that's for sure.
You write about that one. I got notes learn you're

(41:13):
gonna learnt trust me notes well, but but don't but
don't let you know. We all have been through relationships
that didn't maybe end the way that we would have
liked for them to end. But please don't like put
bring that into the new situation when that's become a situation,
because that's not fair to the new person, you know
what I'm saying. But I would say, in terms of

(41:35):
social media, you gotta figure out what you what you
what you want? You know what I mean. There's a
lot of temptation out there on social media. There's a
lot of beautiful women out there on social media there,
some of them good, some come in peace, and some
come with bad intentions. So I would say, you gotta
figure out. You gotta figure out what you want and

(41:57):
what you're looking for. You know what I'm saying. If
you just want, you know, some eye candy, just something
to look good at, somebody with a bunch of following,
somebody with a bunch of likes and all that stuff,
you gotta figure out what you really are looking for.
And I feel like once you kind of figured that out.
Like take your time and like be selective because you
gotta remember you are a prize as well, you know

(42:20):
what I'm saying, So who not only look for what
you want, but who deserves you? You know? Who told
me that on social media you might be able to
find on social media because I'm not gonna I'm not
going to rule that out. But it's so funny because
you just said that you are a prize as well,
and someone told me that just two weeks ago, my

(42:41):
my sister And now who's a part of your franchise,
Anie Kate Williams. She was saying, listen, Giano, you a
prize as well. You gotta keep that in mind. And
I think that's important for guys to know, as the
folks who are listening when you pursue women know your
value as well. Yeah, yeah, when you know who you
are and you know what and I'm saying you don't.
I think sometimes when it comes like you can have

(43:03):
your stuff just like a woman kid, you could have
everything together and then when it comes to the affairs
of the heart, just end up being a fool basically,
you know what I mean? Just love? Can you know fools? Water,
fools fall in love. You know what I'm saying. You
have to just be just as focused and strategic and
your personal life as you are in your professional life

(43:24):
when it comes to what you want and what you
don't want, and when you sit when you see those
signs come up when you meet somebody, Because there are signs, brother,
now you can acknowledge them, you know. Science. That's where
you need to fall back a little bit and be like, wait, okay,
now what is that? What is that that feeling you get?
We're like, oh, that didn't really feel right? Non't here?

(43:46):
Right up? Pay attention to that, you know what I'm saying,
because it means something. If you feel something, it means something.
And and just be honest with yourself. If you want
a nice girl, look for a nice girl. If you
want a boss, look for a boss. If you want
an Instagram thought, go live your happy life with the

(44:06):
Instagram thought looking for don't want the temptations and the
distractions of Instagram thought, and then really want to be
overre with somebody classy. No, it doesn't work like that.
Do do you figure out what you really want? Because
the two are not the same. The two are not
the same, be honest with yourself absolutely, And for those

(44:29):
who may not know, a thought is a loose woman
in kind terms over there, but this is you know,
your audience, babies, it's just like just still, you know, okay, thought?

(44:54):
Then he has to give the definition of a thought
a lose lose lady. Eat. Okay, that's question. No, I'll
just let you talk. You realize perspective. Well, I'm not
gonna be able to finish my thought anyway. So it's saying,

(45:15):
go ahead, Mike, go ahead, Mike, and Cynthia, I'm enjoying
your your commentary. Thank you so much. Mike. What are
your thoughts? This popular culture is so important now and
it it seems as though a lot of people lead
with Instagram these days. They don't lead with how can
we get to know each other? Can I take you
on a date? Can I be a gentleman? And it's like, oh,
how many followers do you have on Instagram? As though

(45:36):
that that determines you're prominent on how you're going to
treat a person, and it's it's become a very toxic,
toxic culture. In my opinion, you can meet on candy
on Instagram. I don't know if you're gonna meet your wife,
I don't know if you're gonna meet you your your
queen necessarily on Instagram. There are different ways obviously that
you can meet people through dating apps, through Instagram. Social
media is huge these days, obviously, But you know what

(45:59):
about old school ways of doing things? I mean, and
it's not just about the pictures. It's not about the looks.
It's not about how many lights that they have or
how many times that they can throw out these pictures
out there on their stories, on their on their posts
and and throw face tune on to it, and and
they know their angles. But how about getting to know somebody,

(46:20):
being able to talk to somebody, getting to feel somebody.
Uh As as Cynthia was talking about, You're not gonna
find somebody who's perfect. You're never gonna find a perfect woman.
You just need to find somebody's perfect for you. And
like everybody told you, like I tell my daughters all
the time, you know you're worth You know you are
a king. If you feel like you're a king, you
need to be with somebody who is a queen and

(46:44):
vice versa. And if you find yourself a queen, you
need to be worthy of the crown that you said
that you're gonna put on your on your head yourself,
so you gotta act that way. Bottom line is, man,
look you know, um, you just have to go out
there and and be encouraged, be discouraged. Everything happens for
a reason. What you went through with that young lady

(47:05):
happen for a reason. It allows you to grow, uh,
and it's gonna prepare you for life to come in
one way or another with the next person that you're with.
But when you go into your next relationship, make sure
you go into your next relationship as a whole person.
So you can go intore looking for somebody that is
perfect or somebody that's great and this whole and has

(47:25):
everything to offer, but make sure that you are prepared
first before that happens. And I always say that your
best relationships are between two people who are a whole.
And on my analogy is you can take a two
layer cake. You can have that first layer, it's got
to be perfectly rounded, right. That means that cake is whole,

(47:46):
and the other layer has to be perfectly rounded. That
cake is whole, and then you stack them on top.
Everything that you create on top of that is like
the icing on the cake, literally pretty much and figuratively right.
But if you've got somebody who isn't whole or they're
missing something, a slice that's not gonna look the same.
So then you find yourself supplementing, uh, something that you're

(48:07):
looking for in a relationship because you're missing something, so
you're taking that from that person, and that then that
person takes that away from you. Then you're longing for
that person, and that person might not be necessarily right
for you. So once again, y'ano, don't be discouraged by
don't say you know, social media is out there and
I can't find a woman because I'm sliding somebody's d ms.
They're sliding in my dms. You know. I know it's

(48:29):
Corona and COVID and you're not able to get out
and socialize. But get out socialized and meet somebody, and
then then they might necessarily not necessarily look like Holly Berry.
They might not be the perfect tin, But there ain't
nothing wrong with a good eight and a great personality
and a spiritual person and somebody who loves and respects
and honors you. And then all of a sudden, that

(48:50):
eight that you saw before turns out to be the
tin that you need. I want to pick up from
there at the moment, but first let's go to break. Now,
let's be clear saying like options I got low list,
you may not get a T, but you can get

(49:11):
a three and a half and uh. People. But see,
the thing is like everybody's everybody's looking for that woman
that is out there, that it's that Instagram model and
everybody wants him whatever, you know, but sometimes those women
aren't prepared for you, that they're not the right woman
for you. Just because if I agree with that, I
don't think everybody's looking for an Instagram model. I think

(49:33):
there's a lot of man out here that are looking
for a successful woman that has her own stuff going on,
that's looking for a boss. You know. That's that's that
would be me. That's what you ain't got, Like no
Instagram model, Um, just somebody that has it going on,
somebody that you have some kind of connection with. Uh.
But I would say I would say this, I think

(49:54):
I agree with a lot of things that Mike said.
But if you're going to go to the Gram and
a lot of times a lot of people don't have
lot of other options. But to go to the Graham,
I would definitely played by your own rules. Shorten a
betting process. You know what I'm saying. If you meet somebody,
if you somebody seems like they're interested in you, and
you guys, get some kind of dialogue and dams, cut

(50:14):
the damns out quickly. Okay, I'm not gonna be sitting
up dam and no food for three or four weeks
and months. No, you don't want to get you're in
my damns. That means you're telling me that you're interested
in some way. So what do you want and communicate?
Stop the texting to I'm not gonna do that. You're
not gonna text me. I'm get if I gave my
phone number, call me and then let's talk. And if

(50:37):
you ain't talking about none, if you don't like what
I'm talking about, then you don't have to lose You
don't have to lose it because I'm just gonna block you.
And that's what I don't understand people out here on
one of DM they want to text. They don't even
ask for phone numbers these days. It's like, what's your
I G that's that's what That's what a lot of
people are doing. These days. Secret I'm on Instagram. I
have quite a few followers. I've had men sliding my dams.

(51:02):
Any any famous when you and if I feel like
I want to get to know you, I'm going to
give you my phone upp. If I'm not checking for
you and I'm playing games and I got ten other
guys in my d MS, I'm kind of wearing my options.
I'm not going to give you my phone up. But
if I'm interested, I'll give you. I'll give you my

(51:22):
number and say, hey, but why are you? Why men
sliding in d ms when they have an opportunity to
meet that person face to face, A lot of times
they could be right in that person's face state, but no, well,
I mean, if they're in a different state. I understand
that we've got a lot of suitors out there because
you know all your your thoughts. You know, we already
know what thoughts me, and we don't have to explain
that anymore. We have to explained that anymore. So it

(51:44):
is the thing. But you know the thing is, if
I'm in the same space with you, I'm in the
same city, and I've been in the same room with you,
and I met you that night, why am I sliding
any your d MS instead of talking to you face
to face and getting to know you and getting the
vibe with you and finding maybe finding a connect you
right away and then once I do talk to you,
if I reach out to you because I didn't meet

(52:06):
you in person, I meet you through d M. You
send me your number. I'm not texting you over and
over and over again. I'm calling you. We're having a conversation. Yeah,
I don't. I don't feel like if I meet you
right away, I'm going to meet in person because I
want to get to know you a little bit better.
I'm big on talking on the phone, not texting, but
having phone conversation and then when I get a little comfortable,
I'm big on face timing with you so I can

(52:28):
just kind of seeing a house. Let me ask you
all about this. Y'all familiar with a brother by the
name of Kevin Samuels. He has a big YouTube channel,
big following. I've been trying to get him on the podcast.
He talks about relationships quite frequently and he often mentioned

(52:49):
high value men. He talks about what a high value
man wants, and he wants a woman that's gonna be
submissive to him, and he talks about if you're if
you're a high value man, and then women shouldn't pay
for anything. He says he feels insulted if a woman
chooses to try to try to pay for anything, a meal, rent, mortgage, anything.

(53:10):
Y'all familiar with Kevin Timmys, y'all agree with some of
that rhetoric about sister, you know, like I need yeah
stands for now. I do now. I do think a
man should be prepared to pay for those things if
he asks a woman out. But here's my rule, and

(53:31):
this is you know, obviously I'm married now, so I'm
not looking. I'm not out there before anymore. But when
I was dating, if I asked you out, I'm definitely
paying for the first meal. I'm paying for the second meal.
More likely I'm taking care of all that. But if
we go out, we continue to go out by the
third or fourth meal. If you don't even fame or
fake like you're going for the bill or say something like,

(53:53):
oh you always pay, Let me buy you dessert, let
me buy you a drink, let me make you dinner.
I'm wondering. I really am wondering now, and I'm an
old school guy and not get that or whatever. But
at the same time, I want to see that the
woman is with me for more than just a foodie call.
And that is and l A is like that a

(54:13):
lot women they are going on dates with guys just
for food foodiecause that's what they call them, foodie calls.
It ain't a booty call. It's a booty call. I
can't even wrap my head around that. That's just I
just yeah, that's because for his birthday, you running head,
de private chef a whole admit for the brothers understood,
you have value woman, So I get that. Now, let

(54:34):
me ask you all this because I know how much
time with y'all is. We're recording on a Friday night.
This comes out on Monday, so y'all got things to
do and it's kind of late. But what do you
think are the most important things that make a relationship
and a marriage last? What are those? Honesty? Trust, trust, compatibility,
commitment and and and and and willing to work out

(55:00):
differences and understand that they're going to be issues in
your relationship. Yeah, and friendship. Friendship, you gotta be friends
with your you have to like your husband, you gotta
love them and you gotta like them two different things.
You ain't gonna like them all the time, but like
most of the time, you gotta like them most of
the time, and you gotta be well. Once again, I
think working through the issues that you have and finding

(55:23):
somebody that is worth working through those issues. When you do,
when you do that, that's when you I think when
you're in love. I really do. Yeah, I agree. I
agree with that. Um, everyone you know my cast is issues.
I have my issues. You're not getting Thanks for saying that. Well,
it's the truth both of us. I said, you had
yours and I happen. I don't know if he was
going to say your other part though, that's what I'm saying.

(55:44):
I don't know. We both everyone has issues. We do
okay whatever those issues are. Some may have more issues
than the next person. But everyone has issues. You have
to decide, you know. I want to know, Like when
I get to know someone, I don't want to just
want to know the good things about Tell me to
asta and so so I can know if I want
to sign off sign up for that. Tell me the

(56:05):
bad stuff? What are your what are the flaws? Because
I need to know if I want to hang around
for the flaws, around for the good stuff. Tell me
the bad stuff. What's your worst thing about you? What's
your weakness? What what you know? What are your deal breakers?

(56:27):
What are your dealings? You know? For me, my deal
breakers are I'm definitely not going to be with someone
who is who I can't trust. I just can't. I
don't have time. I can't do it. I cannot do it.
I cannot do it. So I gotta feel comfortable. You
can't make me feel comfortable. We can't be together. I

(56:50):
gotta feel um peace. You don't bring me peace. We
can't rob It's not gonna happen. So, yeah, issues like
what are you willing to ride with somebody on or
with through through? What are you willing to do because

(57:10):
some stuff you may not want to be like you
know what, I just ain't gonna be able to do
the like that's one of your things. Like it. Mike said,
this is an extreme example, and Mike said, Um, I
like doing cocaine. Wait a minute, is this a confession

(57:33):
because I've never seen it? But tell us, Mike, do
you like cocaine. I'm just gonna call you cocaine. This
is I've never used cocaine in my life, right, so
even if he I know this is a hypothetical, but
to say he did have you know, because people do
you know, people are on drugs and stuff, all right,

(57:57):
I would say, do I want to do it with that?
You wouldn't help me get cleaned up? Baby? I mean
I could. I could say, Hey, you know what, I'm
gonna see you through this, help you get off cocaine,
and I'm gonna be there with you. I'm gonna go
to cocaine anonymous with you and all that stuff. You
know what I'm saying. But I have to ask myself

(58:18):
do I want to do I want to go through?
You know what I'm saying. I dated somebody that is
an alcoholic, and at one point he wanted to date again,
and he cannot drink because he's an alcoholic. I like
to drink, and I didn't feel like I don't want

(58:43):
to not drink around him because he's an alcoholic. That's
this problem. You know what I'm saying, I want to
go to the restaurant and order margarita. But now I
got to be feeling some kind of way. But because
you know, it may break him down, I don't want that.
I can't be in a relationship with somebody that is
an alcoholic when I'd like to drink, So that alone
wasn't different break. I was like, look, dude, I wish

(59:04):
you well and I hope you meet somebody, but I'm
might have my cocktails. I'm a reality starter. I need
I can't do it. That's an issue I didn't want
to take on. So that conversation couldn't go further than that.
So cocaine okay, but alcohol no good, no, no no,

(59:25):
I just used alcohol was like real situation that happened
to me. The cocaine, you know, the drugs and black
I said, some people are willing to put you know
do uh. You gotta be true to yourself. I don't
want to deal with that. Well for me, I want
to know the rules. Give me the rules. Let me
know what we're doing in the beginning, because if you
can do it, I can do it, bottom line, and
I want to see if you say you want to

(59:47):
do it, if I want to deal with it, and
vice versa. So it's not gonna be a double standard.
It's not gonna be one rule for one person and
not the other. I want to play by the same
set of rules that you're playing by. Equality is big
for me across the board in any way. So if
you're able to do this on social media, get away
with it. I'm able to do this on social media

(01:00:09):
and get away with it, bottom line, across the board.
So I don't like that double standards are no no
from me. And well, let me just point out that
Mike is definitely the petty one in the relationship, so
trust and belief he can get petty petty petty. Okay,
if if I do something and it rings in the
wrong way, oh brother, mad over here, gonna gonna pay

(01:00:31):
me back. Now, Well where the other I'm gonna know
that I hadn't hurt this man feelings in some way.
He's going to go there for sure. So what is
it like being in a relationship where both of you
are in the public eye. M h blessing and a curse?
You know, it's it's it's it's difficult. You know a
lot of great things have come out of it. But

(01:00:53):
at the same time, you know, when you sign on,
like for me, I'll just speak for myself. I signed
on to be a reality star, so I gave up
my privacy. Today, I decided to be a cast member
of the Real Houseways of Atlanta. Um. With that said,
you know, my life is out there. I put my

(01:01:14):
life out there. I am not surprised to shock when
people have opinions about my life, good or bad. It
just is what it is. Um. You know, for the
most part, I try to conduct myself in a way,
carrying myself in a way where I don't get a
lot of hate and scrutiny. But at the same time,

(01:01:36):
I'm always expecting it because you know, hat's gonna hate.
You know, it just is what it is. So the privacy.
But you know, I've been I've been in the game
for a long time now, I'm kind of you know,
I have a tough skin. I pretty much I don't
enjoy it. But I can deal with this point and
I'm not gonna lose sleep over. Um. You know, people

(01:01:59):
saying nasty things about me or just not liking me
or whatever it is. You know, they, you know, the
trolls may say, or the blogs and may say, Like
I just can't really consume myself with that because at
the end of the day, I don't know these people. Um,
you know, if Michelle Obama and Oprah was somewhere wearing
me out, then maybe my feelings will be hurt. But

(01:02:19):
you know, usually you know, I don't really you know,
if someone I respected, you know, if I disappointed in
some way, then that would be hard for me. But
as far as just trolls on social media, bloggers that
I don't know, you know, their opinion does not matter
to me, and they're entitled to have it. But I

(01:02:41):
don't I get I get to still not care, but
they're entitled to happen. I think of us something form
of relationship aspect. It's tough, and I'm just gonna speak
for me because you know, I've been on national news
for the last sixteen seventeen years. ESPN had a following there,
but this is a different animal for me, and it
took me a long time. Is actually adjust to the scrutiny,

(01:03:03):
the criticism that comes with it, because your every move
is scrutinized. I could be having lunch with a female
companion that's a friend that I could just have face
time with with Cynthia, and somebody can take my picture
and try and put it in the blog and make
it seem like it's worse than what it is. And
once it happens, then automatically people just want to believe it.

(01:03:26):
I can take a picture and put it on social
media and they're gonna find something wrong with They always
have an issue and they always want to say something
about our relationship. In the beginning, it was fake. It's
for storyline. Uh. It's like, oh, he's a cheater, he's
doing all this, he's gonna do number, cheat on or whatnot.
Uh oh, and they're the h they're engaged. I was
for the storyline, and then all of a sudden, you

(01:03:46):
get married or it's the only gonna last for three months,
I'll give it a year. You see all that type
of stuff, and you understand where it's coming from. And
like Cynthia said, you know, a hater has never done
anything that's better than you, So you gotta understand where
it's coming from and and the type of person that's
coming from. But it's still tough to get used to
because it is our relationship. It is our love and

(01:04:07):
we know how genuine it is and we don't want
anybody questioning. But the people who are questioning it, we
have to just pray for them, and uh, you know,
I hope that they can find something as good as
we have them. Well, but you know, at the same time,
you you pray for him, and you pray that they
find somebody as as wonderful, uh and and as loving

(01:04:30):
and have a relationship as beautiful as we have, so
they don't really care what they do. Well, then that's
your that's your soul, My soul. My spirit basically says,
you know, I block them to but I'm still gonna
pray for him as I block them. Bottom line. Yeah,
you gotta you know, see, I still got the spirit
in my baby, see the bottom But you know, but no,
bottom line is, man, It's it's tough. It really is

(01:04:52):
tough sometimes being in this celebrity relationship and having you know,
people having their opinions and seeing anything that they want
to about you at any particular time. You know, sometimes
I just wish I could be uh dating just a
regular person or just a regular person and not have
to worry about, you know, how I'm dressed, or if

(01:05:13):
I put something on social media, how you know, if
it's gonna be scrutinized. But I just want to just
have fun and be myself sometimes. Yeah, I can understand
why some celebrities, you know, when they get to a
certain level. And I use the word celebrity loosely when
it comes to me, I just consider myself a reality star. Um.
But anyway, UM, I can see how some of the

(01:05:35):
bigger celebrities, and I think celebrity, I think, like Eddie
Murphy is somebody, you know what I'm saying. I could
see why they kind of become introverts and kind of
isolate themselves. I can understand that the more fame I get,
the more um piece I crave. Um. The more I
don't like being in the spotlight, the more I don't

(01:05:55):
like to be that social media around a lot of
different people because you know, you don't know what people
want from you. And also, I'm very protective of my energy,
and I don't like certain energy around me, So I'm
very protective of that. Um Yeah, I mean it's stuff.

(01:06:15):
It's tough, but it's it's part. It's you know. I mean,
I think about my little bit of little little bit
of celebrity I have, and I think about somebody life
beyond it. I'm like, with ch'awd, what is she doing?
I can't imagine her? Hater is goodness gracious, but you
know what, I look at what I see and in

(01:06:36):
her life and her relationship, it seems like, you know,
they protect each other. They protect each other. You know,
they do what they need to do too. They have
figured out a way to have peace that celebrity, and
I think that's the trick. There's a reason. You know,
I live on a lake. I need peace. I need

(01:06:57):
that balance in my life. I need to be able
to come home to peace. I think that's very, very important.
So when the noise is going on, in the chaos
and the trolling and whatever, it doesn't take me out
because I have peace. No matter what you don't like me,
I still get to come on the peace. I had

(01:07:18):
a bad episode, I still get to come on to peace. Um.
You know, the the things that I care about, I'm
clear about the things I care about my family. You know.
That's it. That's what I happened at the end of
the day, you know, And that's it. In your in
your relationships, isn't your Your relationship isn't scripted for the show.

(01:07:42):
It's it's real life. And people may assume that it's scripted,
but it's real life. Oh trust me. So I wish
it was scripted, it would be easier. I wish we
could just come up and make it up. This is
our real life, and um, I wouldn't have it any
other ways. To be honest, I've been on reality TV
for over a decade now, and all I've ever done

(01:08:03):
was be me and be transparent. Show my ups, downs, peaks, valleys, highs, lows,
strong points, weak points, be vulnerable, be a mess, be
a boss, be strong. I've shown it all and with that,
I'm inspiring somebody. I'm motivating somebody to do something. And

(01:08:24):
I always just choose to focus on the positive. You know,
my real life is my real life, and I show
if I'm gonna be a reality show, a reality start,
I have to show my real life. Social Media is
a choice. I have to participated that phone too, know
what I mean. My job, my life, the job that
I've chose to have, you know, that's all a choice.

(01:08:47):
Everything else, you know, you know, well, those are the
things that I want to do. Um participating on social media,
that's that's my choice, you know. Engaging you know, that's
my choice. Well, as we as we bring this to
a close, I wanted to ask you, Mike a question

(01:09:10):
because when you're on TV. You're such a positive and
upbeat person in life, and for my experience with your
very positive and upbeat but as we know from your
amazing memoir Open Mic, which came out last year, you've
battled your share of enter demons. Why did you write
the book and if you would tell us some of
your personal struggles from from childhood. Well, I wrote the

(01:09:32):
book because I needed to write the book. It was time.
I I started writing it because a friend of mine
told me I needed to write a memoir because I
was telling her about my about my past and some
of the things that dealt with over my career and
my personal life. But I didn't feel like it was
time to write because I didn't think anybody was going

(01:09:52):
to read it. I'm like, who am I'm not a celebrity,
I'm not anybody big, nobody cares about my life. But
then I picked it back up and started writing again
about three or four years later, because I felt like
I needed to write it because if I didn't write
it at that particular time, which was about three or
four years ago, I wouldn't be here right now. And
I really truly believe that Giano, I really feel like

(01:10:13):
I would have had a stroke, I would have died
of a heart attack because I had so much internal
pain and trauma and sadness that was embedded in me
that I had just suppressed for so many years that
needed to be released. And as I told you earlier
in the podcast, open Mic was my therapy that I
didn't even realize I needed to have. So once I

(01:10:35):
started writing a book, uh, everything started flowing out and
I started feeling a sense of relief, and I had
to even write more and more. And once I started writing,
I couldn't stop writing. And uh So some of those pains,
some of those traumas, you know, we deal with as
uh we talked about it, as as being growing up

(01:10:55):
in certain environments as a black man, you know, seeing
domestic violence. You know, at an early age. One of
the first memories I had in my life was seeing
my mom, you know, brutally beaten by my dad. Uh
finding out my dad, my stepfather who who raised me,
because my biological father wasn't in my life. My stepfather
was a hit man who spent the last nine years

(01:11:17):
of his life in prison for murder for higher you know,
a lot of the things that I saw and didn't
see a lot of love and didn't see a lot
of positive male role models in my life growing up.
So I didn't know how to love. I didn't know
how to commit to anybody. The first person I ever
told I love this woman looked at me like I
was crazy, and it affected me for so many years.
So it was so many different things that happened to

(01:11:39):
me at an early age that we as black men
a lot of times just deal with because we feel
like that's life and we're never gonna get the the
help that we need. And so the reason you asked
me why I wrote the book, it is because at
the time, I needed to write that book, uh, and
that became my first sense of therapy, and once I
got that out, I was able to follow up with

(01:12:02):
a counselor and I've been doing that ever since. Bro
and Gianno just really quickly. If Mike had written that book,
I don't think we would be together. M Honestly, I
really don't. I don't think he would um. I don't
think he would have been able to be with someone

(01:12:24):
like me, and I don't think I would have wanted
to be with him. You know, I wouldn't have been ready.
I wasn't because you know, there was a lot of things,
and it cost me a lot of relationships. And I
wrote that in open mic. It cost me because I
wasn't whole, because I didn't realize that I was hurting
myself one way, but I was hurting the people around

(01:12:45):
me because of the things that was affected me in
my life that I didn't even really know about. And
I was reaching out, like I was telling, you know,
since you I didn't trust a lot of people in
the beginning because I didn't trust myself because I wasn't
in love with myself. I couldn't fall in love with
somebody else, and that you to my ex wise, you know,
I could love somebody, but I could not fall in
love with somebody, and that was a big difference. And

(01:13:06):
I was hurting myself and I was hurting other people
around me. So yeah, until I was able to become whole,
I wasn't able to accept somebody, uh like Cynthia, because
you know, I was playing games. I was being a
boy and acting like a man and thinking I was
a man, you know. So once I wrote the book,
I was able to start stepping into my manhood. And

(01:13:28):
I'm still doing that to this very day. Wow. Yeah.
And I have a copy of your book. It's a
great memoir and I encourage people to buy it. And
I also want to thank you for supporting my book.
Taking for granted you and Cynthia went out and bought
it on your own. I didn't have to give a
free copy and you didn't have to do that for
me because I supporting each other. So I appreciate that.
And I want to thank you all for spending you'all

(01:13:49):
Friday night with me. It's currently a p m on
the Friday, and I know y'all probably got the drink
stirring in the background and ready for that for the
for the Bailey Bailey drink. What's what's the name of
your drink, Cynthia Um Peach Bellini, Sigrums Escapes, Peach Bellini,
Peach Bellini, So I know those that's that's getting ready
for your Friday night. Now before we go, what's next

(01:14:12):
for you guys? Do you have any big projects coming
up for the folks at home that they should know about?
What can people find you on social media? And that's
where elsewhere? And what's next for the Real Housewives of
Atlanta and and certainly. UM, plug your your morning show,
Mike on Black News Channel. Okay, what's next in terms
of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Um, we just finished film
of the reunion, three part reunion that's coming up. That's

(01:14:35):
always fun to watch. Not as much fun to do,
but definitely fun for y'all to watch. It's a long day,
a lot going on, but I actually enjoyed the region
because it's our time to have the face to face
and just get closure with whatever issues. Um, Mike and
I have a couple of other TV projects that we're
working on together. We can't really say right now, but

(01:14:59):
as soon as we are able to officially announce them,
we will come back on your show and we'll let
you thank you. But yeah, we got a lot of
things going on. You guys know, if you're in Atlanta, Uh,
come have a glass of wine. But that's at the
Bailey Wine Seller. Um. Absolutely, But we're good right now.
You know, we're like six months into our marriage. Our

(01:15:20):
biggest project right now, our biggest job right now is
now that we have tied the knot. You know, getting
married is one thing. Stand married, you know, just working
on our relationship, just keeping it going, you know, getting
here is one part like just stand, like just being
keep standing in this place of love and happiness and peace.
You know that takes work. You just don't get married

(01:15:42):
and then it just magically everything is perfect. You gotta
work on it. You gotta keep you know, you gotta
keep your marriage going and keep it happy and healthy.
Which is why my man is about taking me to
dinner on a date. Yeah. But now I got you know,
I got the Black News Channel. Man, it's just started
and we just launched in marsh re launched. You'll start
your day with sharing the mike, so getting up super

(01:16:05):
early in the morning, having a good time. It's part
of talk show, a part news shannel. We keep it
real great platform. But also you know, at Cynthia said,
we got a couple of projects that we're working out
that's coming out pretty soon. Open Mic still in bookstores,
Bonds and Nobles, Target, Walmart, and um one more place Amazon, Amazon,

(01:16:26):
there you go, Amazon dot Com. Semo. Man is always
looking out for me there and uh, I got my
open mic sessions that I'm doing and just you know,
enjoying life, man, that's what it's all about. And hanging
out my man. Gia L. A but he's hanging in
Miami so much. Now you come see me anymore? Brother, Yeah,
now I'm gonna be with you. And I saw that

(01:16:47):
I rather I didn't see a lot of people told
me that I made the Real Housewives of Atlanta when
I was at your wedding. So yeah, you was dancing, bro, Yeah,
that's one of my biggest skill sets. I hit the
dance floor. You have a the time, man, you absolutely
you already know indeed, Well, thank you all for joining
out lout with Gianno calledwell and it's been an honor

(01:17:08):
to hear your story again and expose my audience to
uh your lives and it's it's really an honor to
see where you all are and where you're going. And
I'm so thankful to be a friend to you both
and and just see it up close and personal. And
thank you for sharing that light with with with my listeners. Giano,
Thank you man for having us on May We really

(01:17:29):
appreciate your brother absolutely, Thank you, my guy. I want
to thank Mike Hill and Cynthia Baby Hill again for
the great interview. If you're enjoying the show, please leave
us a review and rate us with five stars on
Apple podcasts. If you have any questions for me, please
email me at out Loud at get your Street sixty
dot com and I'll try to answer them in our
future episode. You can also find me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,

(01:17:50):
and parlor at Gianno Caldwell. And if you're interested in
learning more about my story, please pick up a copy
of my best selling book title Taken for Granted, How
Conservatism Can Win Back the Americans at Liberalism Failed. Special
thanks for our producer John Cassio, researcher Aaron Klingman, and
executive producers Debbie Meyers and speaker New Gingridge, all part
of the Ginglidge three sixty network