Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm made,
don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. Strong, I
feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
but yours in the air, She'll some love to the
bo Why get there?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Take you a day? Editor?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and I'm with Lee and
we have a new five parts series for you. We
like to do series four parts, five parts, sometimes six parts,
just depends. But Leanne was talking to me about five
signs that our food struggles actually have nothing to do
with food, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Like, hmm, tell me more.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yeah, So I guess today will be part one, which
will be sign one that our struggles have nothing to
do with food.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Absolutely, And to me, it's like, can we get an amen?
Can we get a hallelujah? Because every woman I've ever
met that struggles with food in her body or is
living in her own food and body prison, all she
wants to do is think about food less right and
turn off the part of her brain that is obsessed
with food and so I know for me, it came
as such a relief when I realized, like, wow, actually
the food was just a downstream effect of what was
(01:24):
going on in my head, my heart, my brain, my thinking,
and my beliefs. And so that's why I really want
to just peel back the curtain, share some of the
kind of distinctions that I share with my stressle seating clients,
to really show you the cause and effect that's happening,
so that you can take radical ownership of what's going
on in your head in your heart. And oftentimes we think,
oh my gosh, I'm broken, I'm messed up, or am
I going to be like this forever? It's it can
(01:46):
feel really really dark sometimes, all right.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I thought that way. I thought, is this always going
to be in my mind over and over and over
taking up so much space?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (01:55):
And I didn't have room for much else.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Right, And we think we're the only one that'sruggles like
this because we go on social media and everyone's like, oh,
I love my cake that I made with organic ingredients
or whatever, and I, you know, this is before social media,
but I used to be like, how do you have
a cake in your house and not eat the whole thing. Right,
So we all have our own struggles, our own judgments,
and I know with social media becomes even more challenging.
But just know that you are so not alone. You
(02:19):
are not broken, you're not weak willed, you're not a
self sabotager. And oftentimes the struggles that seemingly think or
appear to be food related really have nothing to do
with food.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
So let's take a look at sign number one.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
It's really a sign or symptom is that you spend
way too much time thinking about food, your body, or
your weight, but you still don't feel like you have
it air quotes handled, okay, And so to.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Me, that is a sign that this is not a
food struggle, right.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Really, what this is is it's this open loop in
your brain where you don't have a strategy for healing
your struggles with food your body that doesn't perpetuate more obsession,
and your subconscious brain knows it. It's like our subconscious
brain it gets smarter, you know, every time we do
this and we know we don't have it handled, and
(03:10):
then we go commit to the next thing or the
next diet or whatever it is. Maybe it's a book
because we think, okay, maybe there is something about this
whole thought brain thing and we think a book will
solve it, right, But if we don't have an actual
plan to heal the struggle, right, it's like you know,
having a fire extent distinguisher and you're putting fires out
all the time, but you don't have the ability to
stop the cause of the fires. You're still going to
(03:32):
be an alert carrying around a fire extinguisher your whole life.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
So that is really what I wanted to put out there.
Put across that, that's just a symptom of a bigger
problem of your subconscious mind kind of knowing like maybe
I'm being tactical and maybe this will work for a
little while, but deep down this is not a long
term strategy and there's there's a healing that has to happen.
Notice I didn't say you're broken and you need to
be fixed, right, but something needs to be healed. The
(03:55):
brain has to transform, and new beliefs and habits need
to shape new behaviors.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
The lower part of my brain was ruling my life
when I had a lot of binge eating, and that
was the loop of that. You know, I was constantly
thinking about food, but then every time I would go
to my pantry. It was a book that helped me, actually,
and it was called Brain over Binge, and one of
the exercises was every time I would go to my
pantry and then turn around and walk away, I was
(04:20):
rewiring my brain instead of giving into that every single
time because my brain expected it and my lower brain
was in control, my animal brain, and that was the loop,
and then that was the one making all the decisions
for me. And we don't want our lower brain making.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Our decisions absolutely, and that in itself is this cause
and effect because then we go into you know, more obsessions.
So there's whichever way on the pendulum you're swinging that day,
so whether it's overeating, emotional eating, stress eating, binge eating,
filling some sort of void with food, or the opposite,
which is really hyper control micromanaging obsession. And if you
(04:56):
missed last week's and the weeks before episode, we talked
about this specifically, where it's this concept of like, hey,
I really want to stop dieting or I want to
get off of this obsession bandwagon. But first of all,
I have no idea what that looks like or sounds like,
or talks like, and it scares me to not be
on something. And so if that's in your thought process,
definitely go back and listen to the last couple of
weeks episodes. But again, I really want you to get
(05:19):
there's this cause and effect at play that again, everything
we're saying has nothing to do with food, because again,
you could have the air quotes perfect plan for yourself
and logistically or logically your brain feels, you know, like, Okay,
I'm in control, right, But if you haven't healed the bigger,
deeper problem and that plan doesn't stack up against life's
happenings and circumstances and stress and emotions, your subconscious mind
(05:42):
will know it and you can't outsmart your subconscious mind
and self image.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Well, obviously everybody's different, everybody's brain is different. When you
say healed, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, So really what comes to my mind firstus is
a brain scan. Like if you actually look at an
fMRI and there's something going on in the brain, it'll
appear and red, you know. So part of it is
like oftentimes, and I get into the nitty gritty of
this in other episodes, but oftentimes there's a part of
your brain that's hungry but we are filling it with
some sort of something that's not going to fill it.
(06:11):
So let's call it like emotional hunger, spiritual hunger, soul hunger,
you know, social hunger. Right, And so if we're filling
that void, or maybe it's just like actual stress, if
we're filling that void with food, that open loop, that
fire in our brain is going to still stay on fire,
so to speak.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
And so the.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Distinction between healing it versus you know, just putting a
band aid on it would be just what I said
with the fire extinguish or metaphor of like just constantly
putting that fire out, which is like, okay, another band aid,
another diet.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I'm going to commit tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I'm going to start journaling the positive manches whatever it is,
but we don't really fully believe it versus identifying what
is the root cause of the struggle and actually figuring
out how to put the fire out and feed that mental, emotional, social,
or stress air quotes hunger in our brain. And that's
a process, but it's never going to come from a
diet or a meal plan, right.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I think for me, the light bulb moment was learning
that my lower brain was in control. That's what I
had to heal. Yeah, and I know for everybody it's
going to be different. Just sharing my experience and the
early on restriction in my life, like my teenage years.
That's the restriction is what led to the binging, so
cause and effect, but then my brain got so used
to that behavior with my lower brain in control and
(07:23):
the brain over binge. Explaining it to me in that way,
I was like, oh, well, I've gone to all this
therapy about my family stuff and my dad, and I
always thought I was trying to fill this void. And
I'm sure there was some of that there and some
emotional eating and some comfort there, but really my brain
just needed to get rewired. So for me, the healing
was recognizing the different parts of our brain and having
(07:46):
that hope and knowing that we can create new paths
in our brain. And it takes the repetition and I'm
going to have to do it over and over. But
it wasn't this diet, it wasn't this crazy plan. It
wasn't me affirming my way through it. It was me
continuing to, like I said, every time, go to the pantry, turnaround,
(08:07):
walk away, go to the pantry, turn around, walk away. Look,
am I hungry? Right now? No?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Turn around? Walk away?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Right, turn around and walk away?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
And I got the song sing to.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Myself, turn around and walk away. And then I wasn't
always perfect, but it was like the more I did it,
and there's obviously way more involved here, but it was
the simplicity of like, oh, I have this higher part
of my brain that can make decisions. I just need
to start exercising it so it can take control. And
every time I would go turn around and walk away,
that was my higher brain totally, and I was exercising.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It for sure. You make such a good point and
just to stack on that too. It's the distinction between
it's not always your past based brain, it's really talking
to that now, present day brain. Because there is definitely
a place for therapy and unhashing old stuff, and I
feel it absolutely a place for that, but oftentimes with
the food stuff, and a lot of people come to
me after they've gone down that road and they're like,
(08:59):
why am I doing this? Or why do I know
what to do but I can't get myself to do it?
Or why have I healed from all of my daddy issues?
And I still feel this whatever it is. I've heard
them all, right, and I've done them all But part
of it is like, we need to figure out how
to be emotionally available to ourselves right now. And sometimes
it's not super deep. Sometimes it's not super like poetic right.
(09:19):
Sometimes it's a new definition of self care that doesn't
involve bubble baths and manicures, right. But it's about being
emotionally available to ourselves in those moments so that we're
not eating our stress, or eating our loneliness, or eating
our sadness or comforting whatever we're experiencing.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And when I talk to.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Most women, the idea of being emotionally available to themselves
in those moments instead of using food to fill a
void that it will never fill, they have no idea
what that even means.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And that's where it has to start.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Well, a lot of times I didn't even know how
to identify what I was feeling because I was so numb.
Absolutely the eating sort of kept me numb totally.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And that's a process I have to take my clients
is through is understanding that there's more than just you know,
for me, my emotional home was shame. I didn't know
any other emotions, right, and understanding like, oh, maybe this
is some low level disappointment. Maybe this is embarrassment, Maybe
this is sadness, Maybe this is anxiety. Maybe it's excitement,
maybe it's fear. Maybe it's all the things right, But
understanding where you are right now is a really important
(10:12):
part to understanding who you want to be and how
you want to feel and how to reverse engineer that.
And you're right, that's part of the healing is like,
we don't have a map for that, so our brain's
on fire. And if we've fired and wired food to
fill it or a diet to fill it to feel
in control, that's the part that needs to be addressed.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
And the hope and the beautiful part here is that
you can get to a place because I do think
that there is a time for food to bring you
comfort totally, and a time for food to bring you joy.
I just say that because I never thought I would
get to a place where that would be my reality,
and so I share that, Yeah, oh wow, it is
possible because when you get to use it in a
(10:47):
proper way, and it's not just this dramatic thing, it's like, oh, actually,
if I were to eat this cake right now, it
would be very comforting because my mom used to always
make this kind of cake. Yeah, and I get to
enjoy with no shame, no guilt, no nothing, And it
fills me up in other ways than just physically. Like
you mentioned, there's a spiritual thing that gets filled up.
(11:08):
There's an emotional side that I get filled up on.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So that's a distinction in itself.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
That's yeah, a versus the so having food be a
comfort in certain times versus the source of comfort that.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
We turn to.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
That's when it's it's a problem you know that we
need to address.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Okay, well, there you go Sign number one that your
food struggles actually have nothing to do with food. And
next Saturday we'll be touching on sign too, which I'll
give you a hint if you're someone that's like, oh,
come Monday, I'll start this or next week or the
first of the month. You know, we've all been there.
I'll be talking about that. LeAnn.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Where can people find you absolutely over on Instagram at
Lianne Ellington. And if you want to learn how to
turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed with food,
just head on over.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
To stress with Eating dot com.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Han LeAnn has a podcast that's called What's God Got to.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Do With It?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
You can check that out and we'll both see it
together next Saturday.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Bye. I