November 15, 2025 • 14 mins
Have you ever promised yourself that "this Monday will be different," only to find yourself right back where you started?
Join us for the second installment of our series 5 Signs Your Food Struggles Actually Have NOTHING To Do With Food, where we explore the disheartening experience of continuously setting intentions to change, yet witnessing your trust in yourself diminish with each unfulfilled commitment.
We'll delve into the erosion of self-belief and the impact it has on your ability to follow through on your aspirations. Tune in as we uncover the root of this trust deficit and discover strategies to regain confidence in yourself and your journey.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm made,
don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. Strong, I
feel free. I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And I will always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But yours in the air, She'll some love to the
d Why get there? Take you a day, Anita? Did
you and die out way? Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here and I'm with Leanne A four sign
number two, which is also part two of a five
part series. Leanna and I are doing five signs that
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food,
So welcome to sign too.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yep, absolutely, we'll go ahead and dive right in this
next sign or symptom. It poses itself. It's disguises, it's
very sneaky. It might show up as like a great
I have no will power, or great I'm a self sabotager,
or great this is just what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
This is just how it always goes.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
But what's happening and how it's showing up for yourself
is you find yourself saying something along the lines of okay, Monday,
game on, you know no more X or it's time
to get serious about why, or I'm done making excuses
and you go, you know, really hard, right, But each
time you say stuff like that, you actually believe yourself
less and less than the last time you said that.
(01:27):
And that's where I said it's disguised because when that happens,
you're like, great, this is just me. I'm I have
no willpower, I'm a self sabotager, no motivation.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I need more accountability.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But that's going to keep you in that cycle solving
the rom problem, right, And the real problem here is
that you've lost trust in yourself and don't believe a
word you say.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And there is no shame in that.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
This is one of the very first things I have
to work on with my clients because when you don't
believe yourself and then you believe yourself less and less
the next time you go to do it, it becomes
your self image.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
You've lost that self trust.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And when you lose that self trust, you also end
up not respecting yourself and that's where the shame comes in.
Your self image is totally impacted. So again we're talking
about cause and effect and what what's you know appears
on the outside to be a you know, I'm a
self sabotageer problem is really a self trust problem, which
we've talked about this in itself on the podcast, but
(02:18):
again really showing you the distinctions and how this shows
up and where one thing is not the other thing.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I can't tell you how many times when I was
starting something new, they used to do a lot of cleanses,
a lot of three day yup, gosh. I don't recommend,
but I mean, I'm sure you could go about doing
something like that to reset your body in a very
healthy way if that's your intent. Mine was not healthy,
so I was just looking for like a quick fix,
(02:44):
sure to somehow feel better. But I would always try
to wrangle a friend to do it with me, right
because I knew if I was doing it on my own,
there's no way I was going to follow through. So
I cannot tell you how many times I talked to
somebody in my life into doing a three day cleans
that they probably barely wanted to do, but they would commit,
and then I would get frustrated because it'd be like, wait,
(03:06):
they're not really having a problem with it. They're like Wela,
la lah this I'm feeling good. This three day cleans
isn't hard. Meanwhile, I'm really struggling through it. But they
didn't have the struggles with right food that I did,
which now I know really had nothing to do with food,
which is what we're talking about. But I was able
to invite people in and they would commit to it
(03:27):
with me and they would handle it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
With ease and I wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
But anyway, I just thought it was funny that you
mentioned not trusting yourself and how I totally didn't and
I had to bring in people into my misery.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, well you just brought up two really important things
that they're not two of the things in are two
of the five things, but they should be and they
could be. And one is that self accountability versus relying
on a drip feed of accountability from other people. Right,
And so when we do that, You're right, like we
subconsciously know like nothing's changed. We don't trust ourselves, and
so what do we do? We go, Hey, be my
(03:58):
accountability buddy, be my partner. You keep me in line. Right, So,
I think there's a place for the accountability, absolutely a
place for that, right, But first and foremost, if that's
gonna like that's gonna be a tactic, the long term strategy,
and it's not an either or, but has to you
have to find that self accountability and also reinforce it
with the other accountability. But that accountability has to come
from a place of truly committing, not just dabbling, and
(04:22):
really wanting to commit to what you're committing to, feeling
aligned with what you're committing to. So again, this is
like a whole nother you know symptom insigne on it
on its own, But it's the difference between wanting accountability
and it's.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Nice to have versus I need it.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I can't survive without it because I can't be trusted.
That's really what we're saying, right, So the whole self
accountability again, the distinction between desire versus require it. Right,
And then the other really important thing that you said
is the comparison itis that comes off the back of
that when it's like, wait a minute, this is not
hard for her, why is this so hard for me?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
And not that I'm you know, trying to dog social media.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
There's a lot of good on social but we have
to have discernment because not everything is as it appears right,
and you can look at these you know, influencers online
and it makes it seem so easy, but you're not
seeing the metaphorical and literal outtakes, right. You're not seeing
when they fall down and get back up. You're seeing
what is presented. And again, it can be awesome, but
(05:19):
if you don't have the discernment, and then if you're
looking at it through those comparisonitis eyes, it can be
you know, what do they say? Comparison is the thief
of joy and it can just really rob you of that.
So you brought up two really important important things about that.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
I'm also thinking of other times where I would convince
people to do something like that with me and then
they would quit, but they wouldn't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
They're just not for me. And I'm like, oh, how
are you quitting so easily?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Like, I mean, I would quit too, but I would
also be annoyed with myself, but it wasn't phasing their day, right,
And I'm like, oh this so.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well, yeah, I got you. You keep bringing up really.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Cool points because what just came up for me is
the difference between quitting something versus resigning right quitting, because
it's just like you're literally just going back on your
word versus and not in the job sense, but versus
resigning is like, no, this doesn't serve me. This is
in alignment with what I want, who I want to be.
I'm gonna just I'm going to cease to do this
any longer.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
One is really proactive and one is reactive. And one
when you quit something because you can't do it or
didn't want to do it, or just kind of went
back on your word, the offshoot of that or the
effect is shame or guil or embarrassment or self deprecation
or self criticism. Right versus when you say, you know what,
this isn't serving me anymore, I'm going to take my
(06:33):
hat out of the ring and I'm just going to
actively choose not to do this anymore in favor of
being in alignment with myself. That's an empowering choice, and
it's coming from thought and being responsible as opposed to reactive,
and it can really set you up for earning back
your own trust and like honing in that wisdom and discernment.
So it might look the same from the outside either
way you ceased to continue. But one is coming from
(06:55):
a place of like quitting versus one is coming from
a place of resigning, or sometimes it's for me, it
shows up as surrendering of like, hey, I.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Don't want to do this on my own anymore. I
can't do this on my own anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I don't want to do this at all anymore, and
surrendering and waving the white flag. You know. So there's
so many distinctions within that that you said, too, you're
just dropping the gold today.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Well, no, I really like you sharing the difference between
quitting and resigning. That is such a game changer. I'm
already thinking where I can implement that in other parts
of my life where I've labeled something as me quitting
has nothing to do with food, body stuff at all.
But I'm like, oh wow, simply rephrasing that to resigning
could be a game changer totally.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
That distinction came up for me big time when I
decided to leave the fitness industry this is like twelve
years ago now. But I also labeled it as a
failure because I looked at it like I was quitting
and abandoning people, versus I was like, no, this is
no longer excellent.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
This doesn't like align with my life. I'm resigning.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And so the other offshoot of feeling like you're quitting
is you put it in the failure category, which we're
going to talk about in another sign and symptom versus like, no,
I'm just choosing to set myself up for success.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Again.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
One totally disempowers you, and what empowers you. And again
this has nothing to do with food. This is all
about your thoughts about your circumstances and your thoughts about
your behaviors and really addressing that. And like, these same
circumstances thought about in a different way can can create
you to totally contract and shut down and feel shame
and disempowerment versus same circumstances, totally different story that you're
(08:22):
telling yourself, Totally different goggles, totally different intentions, can empower you,
can walk you closer towards yourself, or get back in
alignment with yourself, or cause you to earn back your
own respect, or hone in discernment and wisdom, same things.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I just keep thinking about those of us that have
done the whole well, well, come Monday, Come Monday. I
just want to make sure we touch on that too,
the parts where what are we supposed to say to ourselves.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, So here's my blanket answer, because it's not a simple,
simple thing, right. But the thing I talked to my
clients about is like, you know yourself, this is not
your first rodeo, and so what I'd invite you to
do on that Come Monday declaration is ask yourself future,
pace yourself, and say, will I really finish this?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do this? Complete this?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Because if not, I'd invite you to not even make
that commitment, because what you're doing is you're falling into
the cycle, or feeding the cycle of losing trust and
losing respect for yourself and in turn damaging your self
image and self esteem. People commit because they think it's
better than nothing, But what I say is you're better
off not committing.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's the better option, because.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
You're harming yourself in the long term for that short
term gratification trap of getting the dopamine of setting the
goal but setting yourself up for heartache down the road.
So I would just invite you next time you have
that Come Monday mindset, just literally get real with yourself
and say, will I really finish this? Complete this? Does
it serve me? Does it align with who I want
to become? And if the answer is no, just opt
out in favor of maybe going back to the drawing
(09:43):
board and figuring out something that would be in alignment,
so you can witness yourself being a promise maker and
a promise keeper. That's the part when you start witnessing
yourself little by little being a promise maker and a
promise keeper. We went into this in depth in Acting
as if. That is where the self esteem bank account
rises and it overflows, and all of a sudden, you're
like wealthy in the self esteem department because you're like, yes,
(10:05):
and you trust yourself, you believe your word is now
your word. It's no longer this negotiable thing that you're like, oh,
maybe I'll do it, and you don't even believe yourself.
And then, of course we won't even touch on the
offshoot of like now people don't depend on you. You
say things and aren't reliable. But that's another conversation in itself.
So it's you're better to just not make a fake
promise or an outlandish, big pie in the sky promise
(10:28):
than you are to just do nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
And it's so counterintuitive. I know.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
One thing that just popped into my head as you
were talking is how I used to not be a
bed maker, and now I make my bed every day.
And I tried not to put pressure on myself when
I first started it, but I used to think it
was so silly. My sister made her every day and
I didn't understand. I'm like, oh, why does she.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Make her bed every day?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And I would go to her house and it would
be perfectly made. In some days because she had four
kids and she was running around doing all kinds of things.
It would be three PM and she I'd be over
there and she would think, I have to go make
my bed and I was like, what, you're going to
get in it in like four hours to go to bed?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Just wait? Who cares?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
And she's like, oh, my day feels like it's all
over the place. I'm just going to go make my
bed And that would change everything for her. And when
I first started to become a bed maker, it was
right around the time I also stopped snoozing, and it
was something where I just had to start making that
decision to do it in that moment. It didn't matter
that it was a Monday or first of the month.
(11:26):
It was just in that moment, and every day waking
up and taking that next step to try to be
that person. And I wouldn't beat myself up if I
didn't make my bed. But the repetition part is really
cool because now it's just a part of my everyday life.
And I know we're not talking about making beds, but
it's just a tiny example of like, you know, making
(11:48):
your bed isn't like this crazy thing. It's just something
that you can do right when you wake up, make
it and then some days it might happen at three
pm and that's okay, and some days it may not
happen at all, but.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Release yourself of that.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
But for me, the reason why the making of the
bed is super cool is it's an easy task to
accomplish at the start of the day, and you can
make it, and you can make it well, and you
can do a good job at it, and you can
be proud of yourself and then it's like, oh wow,
what else can I tap totally.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And just to brag on you for a minute, like
your language was I'm going to become a bed maker,
rather than Okay, I have to make my bed. It
was about becoming the bed maker rather than making the bed.
The becoming versus the doing same thing for me when
I decided to become a morning person. Can you imagine
how successful I would have been if I was like,
you have to get up at six amly and you
have to get up versus like, no, I'm going to
become the version of myself that wakes up early. You
(12:38):
stepped into this identity, which again is a bigger, deeper
conversation for another day. But just wanted to brag on
you because that's what you did and you became a
bed maker.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It wasn't anywhere I said it. That's way right, that's good.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's sort of that way of thinking of like I
have to go do this and just shifting it to
I get to go do this, and how I'm choosing.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, I'm a bed maker. Gosh darn it, the game changer.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So you are not going to be the start Monday people.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
No, you're gonna be the promised keeper. There you go.
You're no longer just the say it the positive way, right.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I'm no longer like a might do this, might not
like I'm gonna try this or like I'll like whatever. No,
you are a promise keeper, and if you can't keep
that promise, don't make it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
There you go Sign two that your food struggles actually
have nothing to do with food, and next Saturday we'll
be doing signed three. If you miss sign one, well
that was the last Saturday, So you can go listen
to it. Leanne. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Absolutely, Leanne ellington over on Instagram. If you want to
turn off the part of your brain that is obsessing
over food and heal it for good, check out Stressless
Eating dot com. And then I have another podcast here
on iHeart What's God Got to Do with It?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And you can listen to that. Episodes come out every
Tuesday Tuesday. Yeah, I've got Fit Thing episodes coming up
on Tuesday with kat Defata and the next Thursday Four
Things and I'm at Radio Amy on Instagram. See you later,
Bye bye,
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm made,
don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. Strong, I
feel free. I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And I will always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
But yours in the air, She'll some love to the
d Why get there? Take you a day, Anita? Did
you and die out way? Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here and I'm with Leanne A four sign
number two, which is also part two of a five
part series. Leanna and I are doing five signs that
your food struggles actually have nothing to do with food,
So welcome to sign too.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yep, absolutely, we'll go ahead and dive right in this
next sign or symptom. It poses itself. It's disguises, it's
very sneaky. It might show up as like a great
I have no will power, or great I'm a self sabotager,
or great this is just what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
This is just how it always goes.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
But what's happening and how it's showing up for yourself
is you find yourself saying something along the lines of okay, Monday,
game on, you know no more X or it's time
to get serious about why, or I'm done making excuses
and you go, you know, really hard, right, But each
time you say stuff like that, you actually believe yourself
less and less than the last time you said that.
(01:27):
And that's where I said it's disguised because when that happens,
you're like, great, this is just me. I'm I have
no willpower, I'm a self sabotager, no motivation.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I need more accountability.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But that's going to keep you in that cycle solving
the rom problem, right, And the real problem here is
that you've lost trust in yourself and don't believe a
word you say.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And there is no shame in that.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
This is one of the very first things I have
to work on with my clients because when you don't
believe yourself and then you believe yourself less and less
the next time you go to do it, it becomes
your self image.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
You've lost that self trust.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And when you lose that self trust, you also end
up not respecting yourself and that's where the shame comes in.
Your self image is totally impacted. So again we're talking
about cause and effect and what what's you know appears
on the outside to be a you know, I'm a
self sabotageer problem is really a self trust problem, which
we've talked about this in itself on the podcast, but
(02:18):
again really showing you the distinctions and how this shows
up and where one thing is not the other thing.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I can't tell you how many times when I was
starting something new, they used to do a lot of cleanses,
a lot of three day yup, gosh. I don't recommend,
but I mean, I'm sure you could go about doing
something like that to reset your body in a very
healthy way if that's your intent. Mine was not healthy,
so I was just looking for like a quick fix,
(02:44):
sure to somehow feel better. But I would always try
to wrangle a friend to do it with me, right
because I knew if I was doing it on my own,
there's no way I was going to follow through. So
I cannot tell you how many times I talked to
somebody in my life into doing a three day cleans
that they probably barely wanted to do, but they would commit,
and then I would get frustrated because it'd be like, wait,
(03:06):
they're not really having a problem with it. They're like Wela,
la lah this I'm feeling good. This three day cleans
isn't hard. Meanwhile, I'm really struggling through it. But they
didn't have the struggles with right food that I did,
which now I know really had nothing to do with food,
which is what we're talking about. But I was able
to invite people in and they would commit to it
(03:27):
with me and they would handle it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
With ease and I wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
But anyway, I just thought it was funny that you
mentioned not trusting yourself and how I totally didn't and
I had to bring in people into my misery.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, well you just brought up two really important things
that they're not two of the things in are two
of the five things, but they should be and they
could be. And one is that self accountability versus relying
on a drip feed of accountability from other people. Right,
And so when we do that, You're right, like we
subconsciously know like nothing's changed. We don't trust ourselves, and
so what do we do? We go, Hey, be my
(03:58):
accountability buddy, be my partner. You keep me in line. Right, So,
I think there's a place for the accountability, absolutely a
place for that, right, But first and foremost, if that's
gonna like that's gonna be a tactic, the long term strategy,
and it's not an either or, but has to you
have to find that self accountability and also reinforce it
with the other accountability. But that accountability has to come
from a place of truly committing, not just dabbling, and
(04:22):
really wanting to commit to what you're committing to, feeling
aligned with what you're committing to. So again, this is
like a whole nother you know symptom insigne on it
on its own, But it's the difference between wanting accountability
and it's.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Nice to have versus I need it.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
I can't survive without it because I can't be trusted.
That's really what we're saying, right, So the whole self
accountability again, the distinction between desire versus require it. Right,
And then the other really important thing that you said
is the comparison itis that comes off the back of
that when it's like, wait a minute, this is not
hard for her, why is this so hard for me?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
And not that I'm you know, trying to dog social media.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
There's a lot of good on social but we have
to have discernment because not everything is as it appears right,
and you can look at these you know, influencers online
and it makes it seem so easy, but you're not
seeing the metaphorical and literal outtakes, right. You're not seeing
when they fall down and get back up. You're seeing
what is presented. And again, it can be awesome, but
(05:19):
if you don't have the discernment, and then if you're
looking at it through those comparisonitis eyes, it can be
you know, what do they say? Comparison is the thief
of joy and it can just really rob you of that.
So you brought up two really important important things about that.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
I'm also thinking of other times where I would convince
people to do something like that with me and then
they would quit, but they wouldn't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
They're just not for me. And I'm like, oh, how
are you quitting so easily?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Like, I mean, I would quit too, but I would
also be annoyed with myself, but it wasn't phasing their day, right,
And I'm like, oh this so.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Well, yeah, I got you. You keep bringing up really.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Cool points because what just came up for me is
the difference between quitting something versus resigning right quitting, because
it's just like you're literally just going back on your
word versus and not in the job sense, but versus
resigning is like, no, this doesn't serve me. This is
in alignment with what I want, who I want to be.
I'm gonna just I'm going to cease to do this
any longer.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
One is really proactive and one is reactive. And one
when you quit something because you can't do it or
didn't want to do it, or just kind of went
back on your word, the offshoot of that or the
effect is shame or guil or embarrassment or self deprecation
or self criticism. Right versus when you say, you know what,
this isn't serving me anymore, I'm going to take my
(06:33):
hat out of the ring and I'm just going to
actively choose not to do this anymore in favor of
being in alignment with myself. That's an empowering choice, and
it's coming from thought and being responsible as opposed to reactive,
and it can really set you up for earning back
your own trust and like honing in that wisdom and discernment.
So it might look the same from the outside either
way you ceased to continue. But one is coming from
(06:55):
a place of like quitting versus one is coming from
a place of resigning, or sometimes it's for me, it
shows up as surrendering of like, hey, I.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Don't want to do this on my own anymore. I
can't do this on my own anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I don't want to do this at all anymore, and
surrendering and waving the white flag. You know. So there's
so many distinctions within that that you said, too, you're
just dropping the gold today.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Well, no, I really like you sharing the difference between
quitting and resigning. That is such a game changer. I'm
already thinking where I can implement that in other parts
of my life where I've labeled something as me quitting
has nothing to do with food, body stuff at all.
But I'm like, oh wow, simply rephrasing that to resigning
could be a game changer totally.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
That distinction came up for me big time when I
decided to leave the fitness industry this is like twelve
years ago now. But I also labeled it as a
failure because I looked at it like I was quitting
and abandoning people, versus I was like, no, this is
no longer excellent.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
This doesn't like align with my life. I'm resigning.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And so the other offshoot of feeling like you're quitting
is you put it in the failure category, which we're
going to talk about in another sign and symptom versus like, no,
I'm just choosing to set myself up for success.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Again.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
One totally disempowers you, and what empowers you. And again
this has nothing to do with food. This is all
about your thoughts about your circumstances and your thoughts about
your behaviors and really addressing that. And like, these same
circumstances thought about in a different way can can create
you to totally contract and shut down and feel shame
and disempowerment versus same circumstances, totally different story that you're
(08:22):
telling yourself, Totally different goggles, totally different intentions, can empower you,
can walk you closer towards yourself, or get back in
alignment with yourself, or cause you to earn back your
own respect, or hone in discernment and wisdom, same things.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
I just keep thinking about those of us that have
done the whole well, well, come Monday, Come Monday. I
just want to make sure we touch on that too,
the parts where what are we supposed to say to ourselves.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, So here's my blanket answer, because it's not a simple,
simple thing, right. But the thing I talked to my
clients about is like, you know yourself, this is not
your first rodeo, and so what I'd invite you to
do on that Come Monday declaration is ask yourself future,
pace yourself, and say, will I really finish this?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do this? Complete this?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Because if not, I'd invite you to not even make
that commitment, because what you're doing is you're falling into
the cycle, or feeding the cycle of losing trust and
losing respect for yourself and in turn damaging your self
image and self esteem. People commit because they think it's
better than nothing, But what I say is you're better
off not committing.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's the better option, because.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
You're harming yourself in the long term for that short
term gratification trap of getting the dopamine of setting the
goal but setting yourself up for heartache down the road.
So I would just invite you next time you have
that Come Monday mindset, just literally get real with yourself
and say, will I really finish this? Complete this? Does
it serve me? Does it align with who I want
to become? And if the answer is no, just opt
out in favor of maybe going back to the drawing
(09:43):
board and figuring out something that would be in alignment,
so you can witness yourself being a promise maker and
a promise keeper. That's the part when you start witnessing
yourself little by little being a promise maker and a
promise keeper. We went into this in depth in Acting
as if. That is where the self esteem bank account
rises and it overflows, and all of a sudden, you're
like wealthy in the self esteem department because you're like, yes,
(10:05):
and you trust yourself, you believe your word is now
your word. It's no longer this negotiable thing that you're like, oh,
maybe I'll do it, and you don't even believe yourself.
And then, of course we won't even touch on the
offshoot of like now people don't depend on you. You
say things and aren't reliable. But that's another conversation in itself.
So it's you're better to just not make a fake
promise or an outlandish, big pie in the sky promise
(10:28):
than you are to just do nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
And it's so counterintuitive. I know.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
One thing that just popped into my head as you
were talking is how I used to not be a
bed maker, and now I make my bed every day.
And I tried not to put pressure on myself when
I first started it, but I used to think it
was so silly. My sister made her every day and
I didn't understand. I'm like, oh, why does she.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Make her bed every day?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
And I would go to her house and it would
be perfectly made. In some days because she had four
kids and she was running around doing all kinds of things.
It would be three PM and she I'd be over
there and she would think, I have to go make
my bed and I was like, what, you're going to
get in it in like four hours to go to bed?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Just wait? Who cares?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
And she's like, oh, my day feels like it's all
over the place. I'm just going to go make my
bed And that would change everything for her. And when
I first started to become a bed maker, it was
right around the time I also stopped snoozing, and it
was something where I just had to start making that
decision to do it in that moment. It didn't matter
that it was a Monday or first of the month.
(11:26):
It was just in that moment, and every day waking
up and taking that next step to try to be
that person. And I wouldn't beat myself up if I
didn't make my bed. But the repetition part is really
cool because now it's just a part of my everyday life.
And I know we're not talking about making beds, but
it's just a tiny example of like, you know, making
(11:48):
your bed isn't like this crazy thing. It's just something
that you can do right when you wake up, make
it and then some days it might happen at three
pm and that's okay, and some days it may not
happen at all, but.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Release yourself of that.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
But for me, the reason why the making of the
bed is super cool is it's an easy task to
accomplish at the start of the day, and you can
make it, and you can make it well, and you
can do a good job at it, and you can
be proud of yourself and then it's like, oh wow,
what else can I tap totally.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
And just to brag on you for a minute, like
your language was I'm going to become a bed maker,
rather than Okay, I have to make my bed. It
was about becoming the bed maker rather than making the bed.
The becoming versus the doing same thing for me when
I decided to become a morning person. Can you imagine
how successful I would have been if I was like,
you have to get up at six amly and you
have to get up versus like, no, I'm going to
become the version of myself that wakes up early. You
(12:38):
stepped into this identity, which again is a bigger, deeper
conversation for another day. But just wanted to brag on
you because that's what you did and you became a
bed maker.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It wasn't anywhere I said it. That's way right, that's good.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
That's sort of that way of thinking of like I
have to go do this and just shifting it to
I get to go do this, and how I'm choosing.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, I'm a bed maker. Gosh darn it, the game changer.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So you are not going to be the start Monday people.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
No, you're gonna be the promised keeper. There you go.
You're no longer just the say it the positive way, right.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I'm no longer like a might do this, might not
like I'm gonna try this or like I'll like whatever. No,
you are a promise keeper, and if you can't keep
that promise, don't make it.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
There you go Sign two that your food struggles actually
have nothing to do with food, and next Saturday we'll
be doing signed three. If you miss sign one, well
that was the last Saturday, So you can go listen
to it. Leanne. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Absolutely, Leanne ellington over on Instagram. If you want to
turn off the part of your brain that is obsessing
over food and heal it for good, check out Stressless
Eating dot com. And then I have another podcast here
on iHeart What's God Got to Do with It?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And you can listen to that. Episodes come out every
Tuesday Tuesday. Yeah, I've got Fit Thing episodes coming up
on Tuesday with kat Defata and the next Thursday Four
Things and I'm at Radio Amy on Instagram. See you later,
Bye bye,
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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