Ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when you're doing everything "right"?
Join us for the fifth and final episode of our series 5 Signs Your Food Struggles Actually Have NOTHING To Do With Food, where we confront the pervasive fear of failure that lurks beneath the surface of your achievements.
We'll delve into the mindset of assuming failure from the get-go, and how it undermines your confidence and enjoyment of the present moment. Tune in as we unravel the root of this fear and provide practical tools to break free from its grip, allowing you to embrace success with open arms and a fearless spirit.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out, me outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then will always out way if you feel it,
but you are She'll some love to the bood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day? Anita? Did you
and die out way? Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Outweigh Amy here and I'm with lee An. We are
working through a five part series, five signs your food
struggles actually have nothing to do with food, and we
have finally made it to sign number five. Last Saturday
was four, the one for that three, the one for
that two, the one for that was signed number one.
We made it so the final sign.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, we're actually really bridging the gap, closing the loop
because this really plays off really well, up the off
of the very first one that we talked about. You
know where subconsciously you know you haven't healed it. This
is really, you know, a sign or symptom that has
nothing to do with food. Is you know, if you're
doing everything air quotes right, like you're checking the boxes,
you're you're making the moves, but you're still kind of
waiting for the other shoe to drop, and there's this
(01:18):
underlying fear that it won't last. So we obviously covered
like all of the reasons that this could be. But
the thing I really want to get nitty gritty on
this on this topic today is this idea of a
programmed mindset that feels it's like automatic failure. Assuming automatic failure.
I'll get geeky, but not too geeky for just a second.
(01:39):
One of my favorite brain scientists, God rest his soul.
He died many moons ago. His work got really famous
in the thirties and forties. He is, I believe, the
father of the self image, Maxwell Maltz. He was a
plastic surgeon and he was doing the same type of
surgeries we're seeing today, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, LiPo section, all
the things, and people would come into his office. He'd
(02:01):
hold up the mirror at their you know, six week
or eight week checkup, and they would still think that
their nose was bigger, or they'd think that their boobs
were smaller, or they'd think that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
There was fat there that wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And that's when he realized, like, wow, their mental emotional
self image didn't change to the extent that.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Their physical appearance did.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Just to kind of close the loop, what he did
is he basically put himself out of business and he
created these mental you know, training exercises around you know,
the self image, and when new people came into this office,
he'd say, Okay, this is what you want. Go do
these exercises for thirty days, come back, and if you
still want the surgery, I'll give it to.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
You half price.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And he basically put himself out of business and became
this you know, self image scientist instead of a plastic surgeon.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Psycho Cybernetics is his famous book.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But anyways, all that's to say, one of the things
that he taught me, because he was one of my
first teachers and this brain science thing, like you know,
fifteen years ago, one of the things that he taught
me is this idea of our brain can either become
an automatic success mechanism or an automatic failure mechanism. And
so the automatic failure mechanism, which is probably one that
we know better, right is the Okay, this isn't gonna work.
(03:08):
I'm not gonna make it. This isn't going to happen
for me. Other people can do it, but not me.
It's just assuming failure. Oh I'm going to start with this,
but I'm gonna stop it and again coming back to
the other for signs and symptoms that we talked about.
We train this, we fire and wire that experience. And
it's not a nerds. This is where it's like the
nurture nature thing, like, oh, she was just a she's
a negative person. It's like, no, I've trained my brain
to assume failure is really what it happens.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It's it's a matter of repetitions.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Like neuroplasticity tells us that we can fire and wire
new patterns. We can create new you know, neural pathways
anytime we choose, but we need what I call air.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Attention, intention, and repetition.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Right, So, if you give that automatic assumption of failure
enough air attention, intention, and repetition, you're going to have
that as an automated kind of sequence in your brain.
But then if you're not aware of it, you just
assume that, oh that's just who I am, right Versus,
you can create an automatic success mechanism and you turn
your brain into an automatic success mechanism where you assume success. Now,
(04:06):
I don't mean fake it till you make it. I
don't mean, you know, turn the negative into a positive.
I don't mean you know, fake positivity that you subconsciously
don't believe. I mean micro steps about your beliefs that
you actually believe that can turn your brain into a
success mechanism. But also coming back to what we said,
I think it was the second week when we talked about, like,
you don't believe yourself on your start because you've become
kind of a, for lack of a way of saying it,
(04:28):
a not so skilled promise maker and a not so
skilled promise keeper. That is part of reinforcing the automatic
failure mechanism.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So there's multiple things at play here.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
But when you have this beautiful recipe that works together,
you can literally retrain your brain to not just believe
in the inevitability of your success, but also like witness
yourself showing up as that version of yourself that assumes success. So,
and I'm not talking about law of attraction or any
of that, I'm just saying, like we've talked about this
on acting as if as well, our brain is either
(04:58):
negatively anticipating the future.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Or it's positively anticipating in the future.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Negative anticipation, fear, worry, failure, dread, all the things right,
positive anticipation, hope, faith, certainty, you know, just positive expectation.
One of those two pathways are happening either way, and
if we're unconscious of them, the failure one is going
to happen. It's pretty much a given. But when you
(05:24):
become aware of it, you can train. And again it's
beyond the scope of this ten minute episode, but you
can absolutely train your brain to believe in the inevitability
of your success. But you've got to meet yourself in
your own doubt and not create these pie in the
sky beliefs. But little by little, in minimums, not in maximums.
With enough air, attention, intension, repetition, you can literally tell
(05:46):
your brain to become an automatic success mechanism. So if
there's goals that you're setting for yourself, and this is
where we want to be really good goal setters, and
because there's a skill set to that too, right, but
part of it is training your brain to work in
the direction and assume the direction of faith. And that
is a mindset, that's a belief that's a thinking thing.
And again it's the part that's not sexy. It's the
(06:08):
part that people skip. It's the part that people forego
and they focus on, you know, whatever it is they
focus on, and that stuff just follows them into the
next thing, the next diet, the next chapter, whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And that's where not to go all doom and gloom.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But we get, you know, ten twenty thirty years down
the road and we're like, how did this happen?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I'm still here?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And it's because that automatic failure mechanism never got addressed.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Even if you are so prime and position for success
and you have.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
An automatic failure mechanism, you're going to assume failure and
it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You mentioned acting as if, so I went back to
check the date on that, and that was a four
part series that we did on the four Things podcast,
which is this feed as well, depending on where you're listening,
but if you're on OUTWAGH just search forth Things with
Amy Brown and it was from last September. I think
it was like September fourth, and everything came out in
the same day, but it were four different episodes and
(07:04):
you can listen to them. But it was a really
great series on acting as If we did a courage
to listen to that.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
There's a cheat sheet that goes with it, if you
go to leonellington dot com slash Acting as If. We
went all out on that series. Like there, it's very
robust like that series. I'm not trying to be you know,
crazier hyperbole, but like it could transform your life, that series.
I truly believe it, like we put our all into it.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
So Acting as If. And I love the acronym for air.
Say it again. I keep having the word accountability in
my head, but I hold on, I got it, I
got it, I got it. Okay, So it's it's repetition.
That's the r now, my friend's lost stories.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You just need more air. I need more air and
water for sure, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
But intention yep.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
You got it. Repetition.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Ah if I was taking a.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Test right now, I did.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Attention, attention, intension, and repetition, Yeah, got it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Absolutely total side know, totally unrelated.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
My husband's father is a military man, a doctor now
but grew up in the military, and so my husband
trained both of our dogs to respond to a tune
hut and they sit at attention and that's when they
get a treat. So my dogs are military dogs may
have a chaos shout out to you.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Now I won't forget attention. Is it going to be
like a tension yep? In tension yea.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And repetition. Absolutely, attention, intension and repetition. So here's the thing.
If you are giving attention, intention, and repetition to assuming failure,
to assuming catastrophe, you know, to assuming just low level
disappointment like don't want to get my hopes up, you
are literally ingraining this automatic failure mechanism. And that's why
(08:45):
I always say the work I do in stressless seeing
it's it's not sexy, I get it, But it's so
sexy when you witness yourself showing up as a version
of yourself that knows who she is, knows how to
feel responsible and not reactive, sits in the knowingness of
who she is, independent of her weight or what she
ate that day, but also feels like she's taken radical
ownership of her thoughts and in turn, her life and
(09:05):
her actions and her behaviors.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Like, to me, that's sexy, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But that being said, you've got to take ownership of that.
That's why the automatic success brain versus the automatic failure brain.
The word automatic is a very important thing because your
brain will become automated in one direction either way. And
I'm sure if you're listening to this this, if this
feels convicting, just know that I love you, but I
(09:30):
also do want it to convict you a little bit,
just enough to raise your hand and say, you know what,
I don't I don't want to have this automatic assumption
of failure anymore. I don't want to feel that way,
you know. And I think people kind of paint over
it or gloss over it and think like, oh, she's
just pessimistic or whatever, and it's like, no, but this
could transform your life if you take ownership of it.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You know. I realized some of my anxiety back in
the day, which sometimes it will still happen this way,
but it was anticipatory anxiety.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
And I read this whole article that I was talking
about how like eighty five percent in my case, I
think it would be higher of the thoughts I was
having of negative things we're never going to happen. So
that's a huge chunk of stuff that my brain was
just making up that I was sitting with and having
all this angst about.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
One of the very first things which we've taught it
on Acting as If as well, the very first thing
I teach my clients is the distinction between the data
versus the drama. Because I'm a drama maker too. I'm
like raising my hand. You know, we are meaning making machines.
It's what we do, right. And then our social brain,
which is way, you know, more active and bigger in
females than it is in male So if you've ever
felt like, oh my gosh, I'm so much more emotional
(10:40):
or whatever than my male counterparts, you're right.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It doesn't mean you're broken your brain.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
That part of your brain is bigger, it's more active,
it's looking for that kind of stuff. But that being said,
it's the kind of thing that we've we've got to
take ownership of because our brains will make meaning out
of anything if we don't really distinguish and almost like
I call it adulting, like I have to adult my brain.
The data versus drama is me kind of like adulting
myself talk and my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeap, what are the facts here now?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
How you can go off.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This is the facts, the data, the data.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Yep, however you want to say it, Yep, tomato, not
to yeah, tomato. My good friend Kate in the UK,
and she says it in a really cool accent. She said,
feelings are not facts, but she says it in a
really cool British accent.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Feelings are not facts. And I love my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I love them, but I cannot make major decisions by them, right,
They're great.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
We want to be aware of them, but we don't
want to.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Rely on them for these logic and reason and like
almost like the business of our lives, like feelings need
to stay out of it, you know so, And that's
another crossover is being able to just like kind of
almost compartmentalize but in a really strategic way that serves
us while giving space, like being emotionally available to yourself
when the timing's right, you know, not when you're about
to sign on the metaphorical dotted line of your life.
(11:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I was having a conversation with someone the other day
and mine was very things I was saying were emotionally
and the person said to me, this isn't rational, right,
And I'm like I know, so I was glad I
was aware of it. I'm not. I was like, wait, what, No,
everything I'm saying makes perfect sense. At least I wasn't
fighting to the death for that or this. That was
(12:16):
a hill I wasn't going to die on totally. But
I know there's been times where I wasn't going to
back down. But I was thankful for that awareness, for sure.
But I got called out on it, and then I
paused and I was like, yeah, I know, yeah, You're
totally right, this is not rational, but I'm still going
to say it this way for at least five more minutes, right, Yeah,
He's let me be.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Totally You know, my drama is going to come out
when I preface it by saying, Okay, I'm going to
give myself permission to not be rational or sound or logical,
but I just have to share this because sometimes we
do have to give ourselves that permission, you know. But again,
that's just when knowing what we need and being emotionally
available to ourselves to feel the suck and but not
sit in it and not let us take us down
a rabbit hole.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And that's a whole other episode on its own.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, all right, Well, assume failure from the get go.
Let's what if ever thing was going to go right?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Or just give your air, attention, intention, and repetition to
creating an automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Ye, your beautiful brain with that repetition, you will. That's
what it takes. It's a given.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
That's just science. And over LeAnn. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Absolutely Leanne Ellington over on Instagram and head on over
to stress with seting dot com if you want to
learn how to rewire your brain and turn off the
pesky part that's obsessing over food or your body.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I've walked you through it in some simple.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Steps and I am at Radio Amy on Socials And well,
that concludes this five part series, but we will be
back here next Saturday for more Outweak see then Bite
I won't let my body out, me outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then will always out way if you feel it,
but you are She'll some love to the bood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day? Anita? Did you
and die out way? Happy Saturday?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Outweigh Amy here and I'm with lee An. We are
working through a five part series, five signs your food
struggles actually have nothing to do with food, and we
have finally made it to sign number five. Last Saturday
was four, the one for that three, the one for
that two, the one for that was signed number one.
We made it so the final sign.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, we're actually really bridging the gap, closing the loop
because this really plays off really well, up the off
of the very first one that we talked about. You
know where subconsciously you know you haven't healed it. This
is really, you know, a sign or symptom that has
nothing to do with food. Is you know, if you're
doing everything air quotes right, like you're checking the boxes,
you're you're making the moves, but you're still kind of
waiting for the other shoe to drop, and there's this
(01:18):
underlying fear that it won't last. So we obviously covered
like all of the reasons that this could be. But
the thing I really want to get nitty gritty on
this on this topic today is this idea of a
programmed mindset that feels it's like automatic failure. Assuming automatic failure.
I'll get geeky, but not too geeky for just a second.
(01:39):
One of my favorite brain scientists, God rest his soul.
He died many moons ago. His work got really famous
in the thirties and forties. He is, I believe, the
father of the self image, Maxwell Maltz. He was a
plastic surgeon and he was doing the same type of
surgeries we're seeing today, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, LiPo section, all
the things, and people would come into his office. He'd
(02:01):
hold up the mirror at their you know, six week
or eight week checkup, and they would still think that
their nose was bigger, or they'd think that their boobs
were smaller, or they'd think that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
There was fat there that wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And that's when he realized, like, wow, their mental emotional
self image didn't change to the extent that.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Their physical appearance did.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Just to kind of close the loop, what he did
is he basically put himself out of business and he
created these mental you know, training exercises around you know,
the self image, and when new people came into this office,
he'd say, Okay, this is what you want. Go do
these exercises for thirty days, come back, and if you
still want the surgery, I'll give it to.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
You half price.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And he basically put himself out of business and became
this you know, self image scientist instead of a plastic surgeon.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Psycho Cybernetics is his famous book.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
But anyways, all that's to say, one of the things
that he taught me, because he was one of my
first teachers and this brain science thing, like you know,
fifteen years ago, one of the things that he taught
me is this idea of our brain can either become
an automatic success mechanism or an automatic failure mechanism. And
so the automatic failure mechanism, which is probably one that
we know better, right is the Okay, this isn't gonna work.
(03:08):
I'm not gonna make it. This isn't going to happen
for me. Other people can do it, but not me.
It's just assuming failure. Oh I'm going to start with this,
but I'm gonna stop it and again coming back to
the other for signs and symptoms that we talked about.
We train this, we fire and wire that experience. And
it's not a nerds. This is where it's like the
nurture nature thing, like, oh, she was just a she's
a negative person. It's like, no, I've trained my brain
to assume failure is really what it happens.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It's it's a matter of repetitions.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Like neuroplasticity tells us that we can fire and wire
new patterns. We can create new you know, neural pathways
anytime we choose, but we need what I call air.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Attention, intention, and repetition.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Right, So, if you give that automatic assumption of failure
enough air attention, intention, and repetition, you're going to have
that as an automated kind of sequence in your brain.
But then if you're not aware of it, you just
assume that, oh that's just who I am, right Versus,
you can create an automatic success mechanism and you turn
your brain into an automatic success mechanism where you assume success. Now,
(04:06):
I don't mean fake it till you make it. I
don't mean, you know, turn the negative into a positive.
I don't mean you know, fake positivity that you subconsciously
don't believe. I mean micro steps about your beliefs that
you actually believe that can turn your brain into a
success mechanism. But also coming back to what we said,
I think it was the second week when we talked about, like,
you don't believe yourself on your start because you've become
kind of a, for lack of a way of saying it,
(04:28):
a not so skilled promise maker and a not so
skilled promise keeper. That is part of reinforcing the automatic
failure mechanism.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
So there's multiple things at play here.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
But when you have this beautiful recipe that works together,
you can literally retrain your brain to not just believe
in the inevitability of your success, but also like witness
yourself showing up as that version of yourself that assumes success. So,
and I'm not talking about law of attraction or any
of that, I'm just saying, like we've talked about this
on acting as if as well, our brain is either
(04:58):
negatively anticipating the future.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Or it's positively anticipating in the future.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Negative anticipation, fear, worry, failure, dread, all the things right,
positive anticipation, hope, faith, certainty, you know, just positive expectation.
One of those two pathways are happening either way, and
if we're unconscious of them, the failure one is going
to happen. It's pretty much a given. But when you
(05:24):
become aware of it, you can train. And again it's
beyond the scope of this ten minute episode, but you
can absolutely train your brain to believe in the inevitability
of your success. But you've got to meet yourself in
your own doubt and not create these pie in the
sky beliefs. But little by little, in minimums, not in maximums.
With enough air, attention, intension, repetition, you can literally tell
(05:46):
your brain to become an automatic success mechanism. So if
there's goals that you're setting for yourself, and this is
where we want to be really good goal setters, and
because there's a skill set to that too, right, but
part of it is training your brain to work in
the direction and assume the direction of faith. And that
is a mindset, that's a belief that's a thinking thing.
And again it's the part that's not sexy. It's the
(06:08):
part that people skip. It's the part that people forego
and they focus on, you know, whatever it is they
focus on, and that stuff just follows them into the
next thing, the next diet, the next chapter, whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
And that's where not to go all doom and gloom.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But we get, you know, ten twenty thirty years down
the road and we're like, how did this happen?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I'm still here?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And it's because that automatic failure mechanism never got addressed.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Even if you are so prime and position for success
and you have.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
An automatic failure mechanism, you're going to assume failure and
it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You mentioned acting as if, so I went back to
check the date on that, and that was a four
part series that we did on the four Things podcast,
which is this feed as well, depending on where you're listening,
but if you're on OUTWAGH just search forth Things with
Amy Brown and it was from last September. I think
it was like September fourth, and everything came out in
the same day, but it were four different episodes and
(07:04):
you can listen to them. But it was a really
great series on acting as If we did a courage
to listen to that.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
There's a cheat sheet that goes with it, if you
go to leonellington dot com slash Acting as If. We
went all out on that series. Like there, it's very
robust like that series. I'm not trying to be you know,
crazier hyperbole, but like it could transform your life, that series.
I truly believe it, like we put our all into it.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
So Acting as If. And I love the acronym for air.
Say it again. I keep having the word accountability in
my head, but I hold on, I got it, I
got it, I got it. Okay, So it's it's repetition.
That's the r now, my friend's lost stories.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You just need more air. I need more air and
water for sure, exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
But intention yep.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
You got it. Repetition.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Ah if I was taking a.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Test right now, I did.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Attention, attention, intension, and repetition, Yeah, got it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Absolutely total side know, totally unrelated.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
My husband's father is a military man, a doctor now
but grew up in the military, and so my husband
trained both of our dogs to respond to a tune
hut and they sit at attention and that's when they
get a treat. So my dogs are military dogs may
have a chaos shout out to you.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Now I won't forget attention. Is it going to be
like a tension yep? In tension yea.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And repetition. Absolutely, attention, intension and repetition. So here's the thing.
If you are giving attention, intention, and repetition to assuming failure,
to assuming catastrophe, you know, to assuming just low level
disappointment like don't want to get my hopes up, you
are literally ingraining this automatic failure mechanism. And that's why
(08:45):
I always say the work I do in stressless seeing
it's it's not sexy, I get it, But it's so
sexy when you witness yourself showing up as a version
of yourself that knows who she is, knows how to
feel responsible and not reactive, sits in the knowingness of
who she is, independent of her weight or what she
ate that day, but also feels like she's taken radical
ownership of her thoughts and in turn, her life and
(09:05):
her actions and her behaviors.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Like, to me, that's sexy, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
But that being said, you've got to take ownership of that.
That's why the automatic success brain versus the automatic failure brain.
The word automatic is a very important thing because your
brain will become automated in one direction either way. And
I'm sure if you're listening to this this, if this
feels convicting, just know that I love you, but I
(09:30):
also do want it to convict you a little bit,
just enough to raise your hand and say, you know what,
I don't I don't want to have this automatic assumption
of failure anymore. I don't want to feel that way,
you know. And I think people kind of paint over
it or gloss over it and think like, oh, she's
just pessimistic or whatever, and it's like, no, but this
could transform your life if you take ownership of it.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You know. I realized some of my anxiety back in
the day, which sometimes it will still happen this way,
but it was anticipatory anxiety.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
And I read this whole article that I was talking
about how like eighty five percent in my case, I
think it would be higher of the thoughts I was
having of negative things we're never going to happen. So
that's a huge chunk of stuff that my brain was
just making up that I was sitting with and having
all this angst about.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
One of the very first things which we've taught it
on Acting as If as well, the very first thing
I teach my clients is the distinction between the data
versus the drama. Because I'm a drama maker too. I'm
like raising my hand. You know, we are meaning making machines.
It's what we do, right. And then our social brain,
which is way, you know, more active and bigger in
females than it is in male So if you've ever
felt like, oh my gosh, I'm so much more emotional
(10:40):
or whatever than my male counterparts, you're right.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It doesn't mean you're broken your brain.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
That part of your brain is bigger, it's more active,
it's looking for that kind of stuff. But that being said,
it's the kind of thing that we've we've got to
take ownership of because our brains will make meaning out
of anything if we don't really distinguish and almost like
I call it adulting, like I have to adult my brain.
The data versus drama is me kind of like adulting
myself talk and my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Yeap, what are the facts here now?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
How you can go off.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This is the facts, the data, the data.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Yep, however you want to say it, Yep, tomato, not
to yeah, tomato. My good friend Kate in the UK,
and she says it in a really cool accent. She said,
feelings are not facts, but she says it in a
really cool British accent.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Feelings are not facts. And I love my feelings.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I love them, but I cannot make major decisions by them, right,
They're great.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
We want to be aware of them, but we don't
want to.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Rely on them for these logic and reason and like
almost like the business of our lives, like feelings need
to stay out of it, you know so, And that's
another crossover is being able to just like kind of
almost compartmentalize but in a really strategic way that serves
us while giving space, like being emotionally available to yourself
when the timing's right, you know, not when you're about
to sign on the metaphorical dotted line of your life.
(11:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I was having a conversation with someone the other day
and mine was very things I was saying were emotionally
and the person said to me, this isn't rational, right,
And I'm like I know, so I was glad I
was aware of it. I'm not. I was like, wait, what, No,
everything I'm saying makes perfect sense. At least I wasn't
fighting to the death for that or this. That was
(12:16):
a hill I wasn't going to die on totally. But
I know there's been times where I wasn't going to
back down. But I was thankful for that awareness, for sure.
But I got called out on it, and then I
paused and I was like, yeah, I know, yeah, You're
totally right, this is not rational, but I'm still going
to say it this way for at least five more minutes, right, Yeah,
He's let me be.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Totally You know, my drama is going to come out
when I preface it by saying, Okay, I'm going to
give myself permission to not be rational or sound or logical,
but I just have to share this because sometimes we
do have to give ourselves that permission, you know. But again,
that's just when knowing what we need and being emotionally
available to ourselves to feel the suck and but not
sit in it and not let us take us down
a rabbit hole.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And that's a whole other episode on its own.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, all right, Well, assume failure from the get go.
Let's what if ever thing was going to go right?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Or just give your air, attention, intention, and repetition to
creating an automatic success mechanism.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Ye, your beautiful brain with that repetition, you will. That's
what it takes. It's a given.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
That's just science. And over LeAnn. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Absolutely Leanne Ellington over on Instagram and head on over
to stress with seting dot com if you want to
learn how to rewire your brain and turn off the
pesky part that's obsessing over food or your body.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I've walked you through it in some simple.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Steps and I am at Radio Amy on Socials And well,
that concludes this five part series, but we will be
back here next Saturday for more Outweak see then Bite
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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