September 23, 2023 • 22 mins
OUTWEIGH: In the first episode of "Beyond the Mirror: Fashion's Role in Self-Love and Body Image," Leanne brings on Sarai White to take you on a journey into the world of fashion as a powerful tool for healing your body image. Drawing inspiration from iconic makeover shows like Oprah, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Ricki Lake, Sarai shares how she first explored the art of dressing for the body you have -- rather than feeling shame about the body that you DON'T have.
Sarai shares her personal journey from "fitness to fashion" and how it played a role in experiencing herself and her clients (where she witnessed firsthand) the profound impact of choosing clothing that complements and celebrates your unique beauty.
They'll uncover how it's not just about having a stylist or a massive budget; it's about selecting clothing that enhances your natural features AND contributes to your own healing journey with your body. The best part? You can do the same for yourself!
Throughout this episode, they discuss the importance of understanding your unique body, using clothing as a confidence booster, and providing practical tips on selecting outfits that suit your body type and personal style.
They'll also talk about the incredible transformation that's possible when you look through the lens of fashion as a tool to discover more self-love & healing.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
GUEST: Sarai White // @GetFitWithSarai
https://www.thestyledmagnolia.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free. I know every part of me it's beautiful
and that will always out way if you feel it.
(00:24):
But she'll some love to the why get there Sage
day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
It is Leanne Ellington here and I have an amazing guest,
Sarah White.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Hello, Sarah, Hello Leanna, Hello outwaith.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes, well we are here.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We are.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
This is the first of a series that we are
calling Beyond the Mirror Fashions role in self love and
body image. And this is such a fun topic and
one that I feel like hasn't really been talked about,
especially in the that we're going to be talking about
it and we're going to dive in. But before we
do that, I just wanted to set the tone for
why I asked Sarah to be on here for.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This specific topic. So we go way back.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We've known each other for close to fifteen years, and
we met in the fitness industry.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We were both in the fitness industry. We're both not
in the fitness industry anymore really.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
But along that journey, you know, when we were in
the thick of the fitness industry. Really, you know, we
talk a lot on this podcast about there's this kind
of stereotypical definition or worldly definition of health, which is
eat less, move more, change your body, all the things.
And we learned those same messages for ourselves and professionally
and through our friendship. Over the years we have both
(01:42):
we kind of sobered up, so to speak.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Would you say that's a good way of saying it.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, we sobered up to these messages.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And obviously we're we're here on o way sharing messages
about how to heal from disordered eating and self image
and body image struggles.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
And so there's so many twists and turns that happened
in between that.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
But she and I really our values have aligned our
thought processes on how to have a happy, healthy relationship
with food, how to heal from any lingering disorder, the
body image, the body dysmorphia, the hyper obsession when it
comes to fitness, like all these things that she and
I both went through in different capacities. We are now
on the other side of it and we see, for
(02:22):
lack of better way of saying it, how dangerous a
lot of this can be. And then oftentimes there's a
lot of healing that has to happen off the back
of it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So before we dive into.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Talking about how to really use fashion and changing your
relationship with what you wear in order to change your
relationship with yourself and your body image, before we do that,
I really want to set the context in and just
let say or I share a little bit how she
went from the fitness industry to the fashion industry and
what brought us to this discussion today. So can you
just give us a little bit of a run through
(02:52):
of how this all went down for you?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Well, so as far as fashion, I've always been into fashion.
When I was eight years old, my mom started to
teach me how to sew, and she says I hated
it and I didn't want to, but she forced me,
and I'm really glad she did because it's such an end. Yes,
it's such a gift that I can do this. So
that's how I kind of got into it. So it's
always been on my radar as something that I enjoyed doing.
And so then you know, but then I got into
(03:15):
the fitness industry and that took up most of my time.
And then during the pandemic, I was able to obviously
we all had more time, and so I was like,
you know what, I'm going to dive back into sow
in it I had always sown, but I was like,
I'm going to just like do it all the time.
So I did, and then I got noticed by the
company that I'm with now and they said, hey, would
(03:38):
you like to be on our influencer team? And so
that's when you make things that are beautiful and then
you like take pictures and you promote. So I was
so honored, like, oh my goodness, me like you want,
you want me? And so I made the team and
I've been on it ever since. And then at some
point they asked me if I would be willing to
learn how to design and to be one of their designers.
So that's how I kind of crossed over from fitness
(04:01):
into fashion.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
So great and we just talked about this actually before
we started recording, and we've had so many different conversations
about how to change your relationship with your body through movement,
through fitness, maybe how to recover from a punishment driven
relationship with exercise. So we're actually going to do another
series on that. But one of the things I've always
loved about you, Sarah is you know the way the
(04:22):
intent that shapes the content. Even when you were in
the fitness industry, you've been so passionate and vocal about
helping women embrace strength and embrace, you know, feeling really
capable in their bodies and embracing their curves. And it's
never been this matter of like chasing skinny and chasing lean.
(04:42):
You've always been helping women embrace whatever size they're in
and helping them really feel at home in that. So
how would you say that's kind of influenced your relationship
with fashion coming from that place in the fitness world.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You know, in the fitness industry, there is, like you said,
there's so much I mean, I guess toxic is at
the right word, just so much toxic messaging for so
many of us, and so we're told that we were
not supposed to be happy with ourselves until we look
a certain way, and that spills over into fashion. But
I used to run the host these really large events
where we would have professional photographers come on and make
(05:19):
up artists, stylists, all this, and we would have the
women just like get themselves dulled up and look amazing
and take pictures and it was the most look forward
to day of the whole year as far as you know,
their fitness studio goes. And they just embraced, like they
loved how they looked, they loved the pictures, and just
you could see the confidence of how they walked around
(05:39):
for like a week after. And so I really began
to see that it's not just like you know, there's
always a goal to chase, but it's not just about
reaching the goal. It's also about appreciating where you are
along the way. And so when they were able to
like in the bodies they had now even if they
still had more goals to put themselves together and then
feel really confident, like that was just such a mind
(06:00):
shift for them.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And it's one of those things like I always I
remember when I was in the fitness industry, people would
say to me, oh, leanne, like when I lose the weight,
then all care about what I look like, And it's like, no,
you're living your life right now, and this golden carrot,
what makes you think you're gonna feel happy, beautiful, confident
if you don't start experiencing it now. And we're gonna
do a whole episode about the beliefs that stand in
the way of this. But one of the big ones too,
(06:25):
and especially in the industry right now, around self love,
is like, well, if I love myself, I shouldn't care
what I look like or I shouldn't like want to change.
And maybe that's superficial or maybe that's, you know, vain,
but we're here to say no, like, caring about how
you look and how you feel is not vain. You're
a woman, and there's a way to appreciate the beauty
that you have right now. And obviously it's an inner beauty,
(06:48):
it's an outer beauty, it's they go hand in hand.
But part of it is embracing who you are right now,
independent of what size you are, independent of your way,
independent of really where you are in your relationship with food,
and independent of your relationship with your body.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
They can coexist and it's such.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
A beautiful way to actually take step towards connecting with
yourself and healing.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So that being said, let's go.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Ahead and dive on in, you know, talking about this
idea of healing your relationship with your body through fashion.
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you
when you talk about that, when you think about that
in your newfound career as well?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Actually, did you did?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Could you share a little bit about before we segue
into that. What are you doing right now in the
fashion world with Style Magnolia?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
So I am a designer on their team, so I
will I'm the one that's going to be designing fashion
for them. So right now they do a lot of
bags and things like that, so we'll be doing fashion clothing.
So I make patterns. I don't know if there's any
soist in your audience, but I make patterns that people
can then purchase and create their own beautiful clothing. Which
is something that I so love about the fashion industry
(07:53):
or the sewing industry is that we don't have size.
You know, we don't have a size. We just make
what fits. And I think that's something that I was
really embracing in twenty twenty when I was really starting
to get back into it. And it's just like it's
just size me, Like it doesn't have to be psych
I wear size this or that. You know, you can
just wear whatever. But so we have a really wide
(08:14):
range of sizes. I think it's triple extra small up
to I think I want to say six X, so
embrace you know, very inclusive in body sizes, so that
women of all sizes can make beautiful things for themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
It's so amazing.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And I don't know about anybody listening, but to me,
if I'm going to be buying from a brand knowing
that somebody who actually understands the journey of what it's
like to go home and find a home in your
own body, having somebody like that behind the designs, it
means so much more. It really feels like you're in
good hands, so to speak. So I'm so excited for
this new venture for you.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Well, you know, I was going to say, one of
the things that I'm really striving for is kind of,
you know, not ignoring the fact that there are things
that women would rather accentuate and maybe not accentuate about
the bodies. There's nothing wrong with it. It's like not
a dirty word to be like, oh I'd rather not
you know, show off certain things. And so a lot
of times fashion though is just so generic, like you
(09:08):
have to have a flat stomach, to wear this outfit.
Mike goal is to design clothing that women can wear
no matter what their size, that they can adapt to fit,
and that just addresses the real thing, like maybe we
do need a little bit more coverage in the back
so that you know, things are a little bit more
covered back. There are things that you know, just not
ignoring the fact that we women have real issues with
our bodies that we want to address with our clothing
(09:28):
as well.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, oh my gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And it is one of those things of meet yourself
where you are, Like we all have our own things
that we're working on. We are all constant works in progress,
and part of it is, you know, give yourself the
permission to be where you are and meet yourself where
you are.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Doesn't mean that you're.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Going to be there next year, you know, but giving
yourself that permission to say, you know what, I'm not
necessarily ready to accentuate my arms right now, but I
love my collarbone and i'd love a good off.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
The shoulder or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
There's always something that you can find. So bring us
into this idea of if you were to invite somebody,
let's say somebody's listening and They're like, you know what,
I've always shied away from fashion, and we're going to
get into the beliefs in another episode. But I've always
shied away from fashion. Maybe it's been an air quotes trigger,
(10:18):
you know, maybe I I'll just to paint that scene.
I know, for me, this was something I really had
to step into. One of the earliest memories I have,
and I know what happened many times before that was
I was shopping for my bot Mitzvah dress. I was
in seventh grade, so I was almost thirteen, and the
size that I was did not fit into the girls
section or even the junior section, and so I had
(10:39):
to go to the woman's section to shop for a
bot Mitzvah dress. And it was I don't want to
say traumatic, but it was a dramatic experience for me
because fashion was not really available like it is today
in inclusive sizes, and so the style of you know,
even a twenty thirty, forty sixty year old woman did
not cover the style of this twelve year old who
(11:01):
my bot Mitzvah was like the biggest thing in my
life at the time, right, And I remember store after
store like there was times when I would just be like, Mom,
I'm going to meet you in the car.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I just can't do this anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
And I would go and I would cry, and it
would further potentiate this storyline of like this that's me.
I'm different, I'm wrong, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me.
The spotlight's going to be on me. I would go
dramatic and say, we need to cancel my bot mitzvah.
You know, so this thing that was supposed to be
this amazing happy time and even this experience bonding with
my mom right like, we could get my mom on
(11:33):
here and she would have her own stories because it
broke her heart. So, I mean everybody has some version
of that, well not everyone. A lot of women have
some version of that where fashion is a very sensitive subject.
It's a touchy subject and they don't even they almost
avoid it, and so they wear kind I know, for me,
I would wear frumpy clothes. I would wear men's sweatshirts.
I would wear baggy jeans and sweatpants. And so talk
(11:54):
to us about this idea, this concept of meeting us
where we are and what if we could look got
using fashion to heal our relationship with our body. Talk
to us a little bit about that, just intro us
to that concept.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah, so, like you were saying, we most of us
have an experience of shopping and just being a total
disaster in our minds. I mean I can't even say
that recently, Like I just because I've sowned for so long,
I hardly ever shop. So I went shopping and I
was just like, this is horrible, Like I don't want
to do this, but it's not. But I knew I
had had different outlets, so I don't I didn't have
(12:28):
to struggle with it. But yeah, when you when you
put on something that makes you feel fantastic, it shifts
your whole energy. And you know, one thing that you
mentioned earlier in the conversation that at one point I
wanted to bring out is where we're taught that if
we love ourselves, then we shouldn't care about how we
look or like it's not important. But if we think
about for those with children, they want their kids to look,
(12:50):
you know, they want them to look cute, like they
enjoy putting them in you know, these cute little outfits
and like you know, just going all over the top
because they just love to.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Look at them.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And look at the beauty of them and their love
for them. I mean even those of us that just
have pets. You know, we want to put like a
little bandana or a bow or get a new collar.
So we know that there is some kind of joy
that we get from making things beautiful. And I think
that that could also be ourselves, Like we don't have
to just ignore ourselves because we're supposed to just like
ourselves the way that we are. Like that is a
(13:20):
beautiful concept. But you can also take the time to
beautify yourself and to enhance that. And I think that
that is one of the things that fashion can do,
is just to make you look in the mirror wherever
you are and just feel really cute and maybe cute
not the word, but beautiful and confident and positive about
where you are right now.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Absolutely, and yes, for some of you, you want to
feel cute, some of you want to feel beautiful, some
of you want to feel words like sexy. And there's
nothing wrong with any of these things, right, I think
the big theme that I want people to get and
you just said, there's so much gold in what you
just said. You know, first and foremost, it is a
it's a reframe.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Right.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So, if currently fashion is something that kind of makes
you quiver or of you want to avoid it or
you want to run away, what if you could open.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Your mind's eye to the fact.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
That it could be the gateway to you healing what
you're avoiding, or healing what you're currently shaming, or finding
beauty in what you're currently deeming ugly, unfit, unworthy. Fill
in the blanks, right, And everything I'm saying is air quotes.
It's the conversations in our head and you know we
all have our own. So that's thing number one. It's
a reframe, right. But the second thing, the big thing,
(14:26):
is like also giving yourself permission to care.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
We talked about this back with Amy in the in
one of the two things can be true at the
same time episodes. You can be confident and love yourself
and still care what you look like and care how
you feel in your body.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Right, You're allowed to have both.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
So giving yourself permission to look at like feeling good
right now and caring how you feel, whether it's hair,
make a beauty sidne of it. Today we're talking about fashion,
but it's.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Really all related.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Like, you are allowed to care and in fact, it's
something that we want to give you permission to embrace,
you know, and then also you know one thing too,
just to kind of touch on this a little segue,
and I touched on this in a previous episode as well,
when I was carrying around, you know, anywhere from eighty
to one hundred extra pounds on my body, and I
say extra, that's my definition of it.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It was just more that served me.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I didn't feel good, I had pain, I wasn't healthy, right,
but I also lost like the feminine elements of Leanne Ellington.
It was almost like I was in my masculine like
I was wearing big clothes. I didn't feel feminine, confident, beautiful,
And there was almost like this transformation that after I
did my own little beauty fashion experiment. This is probably
(15:38):
ten years ago. It started with lipstick because I like
was such a chapstick kind of gallon. I was like,
I'm gonna see what happens when I were lipstick, and
it was just like night and day. And then I
had to kind of reget to know my body through
fashion because I wasn't hiding it anymore.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
So I want you to also, if you're listening to
this think about, like, what are the elements of you
that you kind of like not let die, but like
you've let them be in the back corner collecting cobwebs. Right,
Maybe there's a feminine element of you. Maybe there's a
playful element for you. Maybe it's like Sarah I, and
it's this creative element like her new like new found
(16:12):
and like kind of re invigorated love for fashion really
inspired this whole new creative chapter in her life, which
literally changed the trajectory of her career. Right, so, I
want you all to give yourself permission, Like it's not
it's not caddie or vain or superficial. It is a
part of you that could be really excavated if you
(16:32):
give your self permission to be there. And then the
third big thing that we talked about is like it's
a right now conversation, you know, no longer future pacing
of when I lose the weight, then I'll take care
of myself. When I X, Y and Z, then I'll
feel beautiful. It's like, no, give your self permission to
go enjoy who you are right now. And there's something
to be found right now that you don't even know
(16:55):
that you're missing.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Right, And you know, I think about how why do
we even have these messages? And I'm listening to the
things that you're saying, why do we even have these
messages that it is waste of time to or vein
or whatever to want to beautify yourself and take care
of yourself? Like where do those messages come from? Yeah?
And I think so often if you don't fit a
(17:17):
certain beauty standard or a certain body standard, we're told
that you don't matter. So everything that we you know,
especially twenty years ago, all the representation that we saw
was a very particular look and if you didn't fit
that look, like why bother? Why try? And I think
that's just carried on for a lot of us, and
(17:37):
so we just automatically assume that taking any time to
take care of ourselves, like it's not for us, you know,
it's it's not a thing that's for us, and it
really can be and should be.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, Like a lot of what's out there right now,
we just take it as gospel because somebody has a
million followers on Instagram and they said it, We're inviting
you all to choose your beliefs, choose what you believe
about this, choose what you say about and honestly just
go try it on. If, Like for me, if when
I think about trying it on, I'm like, okay, if
I were to continue going down that road of just
like hiding behind you know, frumpy men's sweatpants, did it
(18:11):
make me feel good?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
No?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Versus When I actually like took a shower and did
my hair and put on some cute clothes and found
clothes that accentuate my currors, which we're going to talk
about in another episode, you know, did it make me
feel better?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Absolutely? So it's like, try it on, you know, see
what works for you, No pun intended, try it on.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Yeah, And you know it's so funny. So in over
the summer because you know, after the pandemic, obviously we
all worked from home, stayed from home, all that kind
of stuff. So as much as I love fashion, I
had a closet full of beautiful clothes. I was making
beautiful things, but I was just hanging out in workout
clothes all day, or just like hanging out I call
them shlump and dunk clothes. I was just like just
so trumky and so over the summer, I challenged myself.
(18:50):
I said, for thirty days, every single day, I'm going
to get fully dressed. I'm gonna, you know, I didn't
have to do like full makeup or anything, but I
was going to get fully dressed and just see what changed.
I didn't have any expectations, I didn't have any goals
other than just get dressed every day. So I did that,
and what I noticed is my motivation to do things
spiked a lot. Also, the way that I interact with
(19:12):
people when I was out was very different. So I'm
usually very much just like within myself and kind of withdrawn.
But I noticed that when I was feeling really good
about myself, I would be like, hey, how are you,
and like strike up a conversation and have a conversation.
And I was like, you know, this, this is actually me.
Like I am a more withdrawn person in general, but
I'm not like antisocial, and so I didn't think that
(19:36):
I was particularly drawing away from people. But I realized
that when I was just feeling really confident and really beautiful,
that I was more willing to make eye contact and
talk to people and meet people. And it was just
a really fun experience experience.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Oh my gosh, I love it. You just reminded me.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Have you ever heard of the lab coat effect in psychology?
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yes, yeah, so it's like you know, dressing, what do
they say, dress for the job that you want. But
there's this lab coat effect in psychology where there's studies
that show and I don't have the you know, stats
in front of me, even just for example, when they
put on a white lab coat, they found that cognitive
performance and like focus based exercises were were accentuated just
(20:16):
based on the white the white lab coat effect, right,
And it's it's it's exactly what you just experience when
you are actually taking pride in your appearance. You have
an energy about you, a sense of you, and you
know again yes it's energetic, it's a confidence. But like
I could also see like focus and attention and cognition
and all of that, because again it's this entire sensory experience.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yes, yes, and and you the way that you look
people in the eye and then they look at you
and you pick up on different cues and like personality
and just it was just a really beautiful experience. And yeah,
I recommend it if anyone wants to kind of you know,
have an experiment doing and it can be different for everyone.
So I had a client that was like, I want
to do it with you, but I don't you know,
(20:57):
my clothes aren't all dressed because I tend toly, I leaned,
I like to be dressy. But I was like, what
you know, it can be whatever works for you, but
your definition of getting up and feeling put together. Great experiment.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Highly recommend absolutely And we're going to go in depth
in part three of this about like what what to do,
how to do it, how to change your relationship with
your body through a fashion experiment. But next episode we
are going to cover the beliefs that might get in
the way because a lot of this might sound okay,
that sounds great in theory Sarah and Liam, but like
I have a lot of you know again, self image
(21:27):
and body image stuff that's keeping me from getting there.
So we're going to go into some of the specific
beliefs that come alongside that in part two of our series.
But in the meantime, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
They can find my designs when I released my first one.
They'll find my designs at the styled Magnolia. That's the
Stylemanolia Dot com and personally. You can find me on
Instagram at get fit with Sarah and the fit comes
from Obviously I did come from the fitness world, but
these days it's more about your overall fitness. It's embracing
your body mental, you know, just feeling good mentally and
(22:00):
of course fashion.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Love it three dimensionally fit. I love it well. Thank
you so much for being here. We're going to be
back for next.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Episode of this series, so stay tuned and we'll talk
to you then. Bye bye
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free. I know every part of me it's beautiful
and that will always out way if you feel it.
(00:24):
But she'll some love to the why get there Sage
day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
It is Leanne Ellington here and I have an amazing guest,
Sarah White.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Hello, Sarah, Hello Leanna, Hello outwaith.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes, well we are here.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
We are.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
This is the first of a series that we are
calling Beyond the Mirror Fashions role in self love and
body image. And this is such a fun topic and
one that I feel like hasn't really been talked about,
especially in the that we're going to be talking about
it and we're going to dive in. But before we
do that, I just wanted to set the tone for
why I asked Sarah to be on here for.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This specific topic. So we go way back.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We've known each other for close to fifteen years, and
we met in the fitness industry.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We were both in the fitness industry. We're both not
in the fitness industry anymore really.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
But along that journey, you know, when we were in
the thick of the fitness industry. Really, you know, we
talk a lot on this podcast about there's this kind
of stereotypical definition or worldly definition of health, which is
eat less, move more, change your body, all the things.
And we learned those same messages for ourselves and professionally
and through our friendship. Over the years we have both
(01:42):
we kind of sobered up, so to speak.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Would you say that's a good way of saying it.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, we sobered up to these messages.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And obviously we're we're here on o way sharing messages
about how to heal from disordered eating and self image
and body image struggles.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
And so there's so many twists and turns that happened
in between that.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
But she and I really our values have aligned our
thought processes on how to have a happy, healthy relationship
with food, how to heal from any lingering disorder, the
body image, the body dysmorphia, the hyper obsession when it
comes to fitness, like all these things that she and
I both went through in different capacities. We are now
on the other side of it and we see, for
(02:22):
lack of better way of saying it, how dangerous a
lot of this can be. And then oftentimes there's a
lot of healing that has to happen off the back
of it.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So before we dive into.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Talking about how to really use fashion and changing your
relationship with what you wear in order to change your
relationship with yourself and your body image, before we do that,
I really want to set the context in and just
let say or I share a little bit how she
went from the fitness industry to the fashion industry and
what brought us to this discussion today. So can you
just give us a little bit of a run through
(02:52):
of how this all went down for you?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Well, so as far as fashion, I've always been into fashion.
When I was eight years old, my mom started to
teach me how to sew, and she says I hated
it and I didn't want to, but she forced me,
and I'm really glad she did because it's such an end. Yes,
it's such a gift that I can do this. So
that's how I kind of got into it. So it's
always been on my radar as something that I enjoyed doing.
And so then you know, but then I got into
(03:15):
the fitness industry and that took up most of my time.
And then during the pandemic, I was able to obviously
we all had more time, and so I was like,
you know what, I'm going to dive back into sow
in it I had always sown, but I was like,
I'm going to just like do it all the time.
So I did, and then I got noticed by the
company that I'm with now and they said, hey, would
(03:38):
you like to be on our influencer team? And so
that's when you make things that are beautiful and then
you like take pictures and you promote. So I was
so honored, like, oh my goodness, me like you want,
you want me? And so I made the team and
I've been on it ever since. And then at some
point they asked me if I would be willing to
learn how to design and to be one of their designers.
So that's how I kind of crossed over from fitness
(04:01):
into fashion.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
So great and we just talked about this actually before
we started recording, and we've had so many different conversations
about how to change your relationship with your body through movement,
through fitness, maybe how to recover from a punishment driven
relationship with exercise. So we're actually going to do another
series on that. But one of the things I've always
loved about you, Sarah is you know the way the
(04:22):
intent that shapes the content. Even when you were in
the fitness industry, you've been so passionate and vocal about
helping women embrace strength and embrace, you know, feeling really
capable in their bodies and embracing their curves. And it's
never been this matter of like chasing skinny and chasing lean.
(04:42):
You've always been helping women embrace whatever size they're in
and helping them really feel at home in that. So
how would you say that's kind of influenced your relationship
with fashion coming from that place in the fitness world.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
You know, in the fitness industry, there is, like you said,
there's so much I mean, I guess toxic is at
the right word, just so much toxic messaging for so
many of us, and so we're told that we were
not supposed to be happy with ourselves until we look
a certain way, and that spills over into fashion. But
I used to run the host these really large events
where we would have professional photographers come on and make
(05:19):
up artists, stylists, all this, and we would have the
women just like get themselves dulled up and look amazing
and take pictures and it was the most look forward
to day of the whole year as far as you know,
their fitness studio goes. And they just embraced, like they
loved how they looked, they loved the pictures, and just
you could see the confidence of how they walked around
(05:39):
for like a week after. And so I really began
to see that it's not just like you know, there's
always a goal to chase, but it's not just about
reaching the goal. It's also about appreciating where you are
along the way. And so when they were able to
like in the bodies they had now even if they
still had more goals to put themselves together and then
feel really confident, like that was just such a mind
(06:00):
shift for them.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And it's one of those things like I always I
remember when I was in the fitness industry, people would
say to me, oh, leanne, like when I lose the weight,
then all care about what I look like, And it's like, no,
you're living your life right now, and this golden carrot,
what makes you think you're gonna feel happy, beautiful, confident
if you don't start experiencing it now. And we're gonna
do a whole episode about the beliefs that stand in
the way of this. But one of the big ones too,
(06:25):
and especially in the industry right now, around self love,
is like, well, if I love myself, I shouldn't care
what I look like or I shouldn't like want to change.
And maybe that's superficial or maybe that's, you know, vain,
but we're here to say no, like, caring about how
you look and how you feel is not vain. You're
a woman, and there's a way to appreciate the beauty
that you have right now. And obviously it's an inner beauty,
(06:48):
it's an outer beauty, it's they go hand in hand.
But part of it is embracing who you are right now,
independent of what size you are, independent of your way,
independent of really where you are in your relationship with food,
and independent of your relationship with your body.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
They can coexist and it's such.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
A beautiful way to actually take step towards connecting with
yourself and healing.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So that being said, let's go.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Ahead and dive on in, you know, talking about this
idea of healing your relationship with your body through fashion.
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you
when you talk about that, when you think about that
in your newfound career as well?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Actually, did you did?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Could you share a little bit about before we segue
into that. What are you doing right now in the
fashion world with Style Magnolia?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
So I am a designer on their team, so I
will I'm the one that's going to be designing fashion
for them. So right now they do a lot of
bags and things like that, so we'll be doing fashion clothing.
So I make patterns. I don't know if there's any
soist in your audience, but I make patterns that people
can then purchase and create their own beautiful clothing. Which
is something that I so love about the fashion industry
(07:53):
or the sewing industry is that we don't have size.
You know, we don't have a size. We just make
what fits. And I think that's something that I was
really embracing in twenty twenty when I was really starting
to get back into it. And it's just like it's
just size me, Like it doesn't have to be psych
I wear size this or that. You know, you can
just wear whatever. But so we have a really wide
(08:14):
range of sizes. I think it's triple extra small up
to I think I want to say six X, so
embrace you know, very inclusive in body sizes, so that
women of all sizes can make beautiful things for themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
It's so amazing.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And I don't know about anybody listening, but to me,
if I'm going to be buying from a brand knowing
that somebody who actually understands the journey of what it's
like to go home and find a home in your
own body, having somebody like that behind the designs, it
means so much more. It really feels like you're in
good hands, so to speak. So I'm so excited for
this new venture for you.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Well, you know, I was going to say, one of
the things that I'm really striving for is kind of,
you know, not ignoring the fact that there are things
that women would rather accentuate and maybe not accentuate about
the bodies. There's nothing wrong with it. It's like not
a dirty word to be like, oh I'd rather not
you know, show off certain things. And so a lot
of times fashion though is just so generic, like you
(09:08):
have to have a flat stomach, to wear this outfit.
Mike goal is to design clothing that women can wear
no matter what their size, that they can adapt to fit,
and that just addresses the real thing, like maybe we
do need a little bit more coverage in the back
so that you know, things are a little bit more
covered back. There are things that you know, just not
ignoring the fact that we women have real issues with
our bodies that we want to address with our clothing
(09:28):
as well.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, oh my gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And it is one of those things of meet yourself
where you are, Like we all have our own things
that we're working on. We are all constant works in progress,
and part of it is, you know, give yourself the
permission to be where you are and meet yourself where
you are.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Doesn't mean that you're.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Going to be there next year, you know, but giving
yourself that permission to say, you know what, I'm not
necessarily ready to accentuate my arms right now, but I
love my collarbone and i'd love a good off.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
The shoulder or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
There's always something that you can find. So bring us
into this idea of if you were to invite somebody,
let's say somebody's listening and They're like, you know what,
I've always shied away from fashion, and we're going to
get into the beliefs in another episode. But I've always
shied away from fashion. Maybe it's been an air quotes trigger,
(10:18):
you know, maybe I I'll just to paint that scene.
I know, for me, this was something I really had
to step into. One of the earliest memories I have,
and I know what happened many times before that was
I was shopping for my bot Mitzvah dress. I was
in seventh grade, so I was almost thirteen, and the
size that I was did not fit into the girls
section or even the junior section, and so I had
(10:39):
to go to the woman's section to shop for a
bot Mitzvah dress. And it was I don't want to
say traumatic, but it was a dramatic experience for me
because fashion was not really available like it is today
in inclusive sizes, and so the style of you know,
even a twenty thirty, forty sixty year old woman did
not cover the style of this twelve year old who
(11:01):
my bot Mitzvah was like the biggest thing in my
life at the time, right, And I remember store after
store like there was times when I would just be like, Mom,
I'm going to meet you in the car.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I just can't do this anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
And I would go and I would cry, and it
would further potentiate this storyline of like this that's me.
I'm different, I'm wrong, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me.
The spotlight's going to be on me. I would go
dramatic and say, we need to cancel my bot mitzvah.
You know, so this thing that was supposed to be
this amazing happy time and even this experience bonding with
my mom right like, we could get my mom on
(11:33):
here and she would have her own stories because it
broke her heart. So, I mean everybody has some version
of that, well not everyone. A lot of women have
some version of that where fashion is a very sensitive subject.
It's a touchy subject and they don't even they almost
avoid it, and so they wear kind I know, for me,
I would wear frumpy clothes. I would wear men's sweatshirts.
I would wear baggy jeans and sweatpants. And so talk
(11:54):
to us about this idea, this concept of meeting us
where we are and what if we could look got
using fashion to heal our relationship with our body. Talk
to us a little bit about that, just intro us
to that concept.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah, so, like you were saying, we most of us
have an experience of shopping and just being a total
disaster in our minds. I mean I can't even say
that recently, Like I just because I've sowned for so long,
I hardly ever shop. So I went shopping and I
was just like, this is horrible, Like I don't want
to do this, but it's not. But I knew I
had had different outlets, so I don't I didn't have
(12:28):
to struggle with it. But yeah, when you when you
put on something that makes you feel fantastic, it shifts
your whole energy. And you know, one thing that you
mentioned earlier in the conversation that at one point I
wanted to bring out is where we're taught that if
we love ourselves, then we shouldn't care about how we
look or like it's not important. But if we think
about for those with children, they want their kids to look,
(12:50):
you know, they want them to look cute, like they
enjoy putting them in you know, these cute little outfits
and like you know, just going all over the top
because they just love to.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Look at them.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And look at the beauty of them and their love
for them. I mean even those of us that just
have pets. You know, we want to put like a
little bandana or a bow or get a new collar.
So we know that there is some kind of joy
that we get from making things beautiful. And I think
that that could also be ourselves, Like we don't have
to just ignore ourselves because we're supposed to just like
ourselves the way that we are. Like that is a
(13:20):
beautiful concept. But you can also take the time to
beautify yourself and to enhance that. And I think that
that is one of the things that fashion can do,
is just to make you look in the mirror wherever
you are and just feel really cute and maybe cute
not the word, but beautiful and confident and positive about
where you are right now.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Absolutely, and yes, for some of you, you want to
feel cute, some of you want to feel beautiful, some
of you want to feel words like sexy. And there's
nothing wrong with any of these things, right, I think
the big theme that I want people to get and
you just said, there's so much gold in what you
just said. You know, first and foremost, it is a
it's a reframe.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Right.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
So, if currently fashion is something that kind of makes
you quiver or of you want to avoid it or
you want to run away, what if you could open.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Your mind's eye to the fact.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
That it could be the gateway to you healing what
you're avoiding, or healing what you're currently shaming, or finding
beauty in what you're currently deeming ugly, unfit, unworthy. Fill
in the blanks, right, And everything I'm saying is air quotes.
It's the conversations in our head and you know we
all have our own. So that's thing number one. It's
a reframe, right. But the second thing, the big thing,
(14:26):
is like also giving yourself permission to care.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
We talked about this back with Amy in the in
one of the two things can be true at the
same time episodes. You can be confident and love yourself
and still care what you look like and care how
you feel in your body.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Right, You're allowed to have both.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
So giving yourself permission to look at like feeling good
right now and caring how you feel, whether it's hair,
make a beauty sidne of it. Today we're talking about fashion,
but it's.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Really all related.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Like, you are allowed to care and in fact, it's
something that we want to give you permission to embrace,
you know, and then also you know one thing too,
just to kind of touch on this a little segue,
and I touched on this in a previous episode as well,
when I was carrying around, you know, anywhere from eighty
to one hundred extra pounds on my body, and I
say extra, that's my definition of it.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It was just more that served me.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I didn't feel good, I had pain, I wasn't healthy, right,
but I also lost like the feminine elements of Leanne Ellington.
It was almost like I was in my masculine like
I was wearing big clothes. I didn't feel feminine, confident, beautiful,
And there was almost like this transformation that after I
did my own little beauty fashion experiment. This is probably
(15:38):
ten years ago. It started with lipstick because I like
was such a chapstick kind of gallon. I was like,
I'm gonna see what happens when I were lipstick, and
it was just like night and day. And then I
had to kind of reget to know my body through
fashion because I wasn't hiding it anymore.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
So I want you to also, if you're listening to
this think about, like, what are the elements of you
that you kind of like not let die, but like
you've let them be in the back corner collecting cobwebs. Right,
Maybe there's a feminine element of you. Maybe there's a
playful element for you. Maybe it's like Sarah I, and
it's this creative element like her new like new found
(16:12):
and like kind of re invigorated love for fashion really
inspired this whole new creative chapter in her life, which
literally changed the trajectory of her career. Right, so, I
want you all to give yourself permission, Like it's not
it's not caddie or vain or superficial. It is a
part of you that could be really excavated if you
(16:32):
give your self permission to be there. And then the
third big thing that we talked about is like it's
a right now conversation, you know, no longer future pacing
of when I lose the weight, then I'll take care
of myself. When I X, Y and Z, then I'll
feel beautiful. It's like, no, give your self permission to
go enjoy who you are right now. And there's something
to be found right now that you don't even know
(16:55):
that you're missing.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Right, And you know, I think about how why do
we even have these messages? And I'm listening to the
things that you're saying, why do we even have these
messages that it is waste of time to or vein
or whatever to want to beautify yourself and take care
of yourself? Like where do those messages come from? Yeah?
And I think so often if you don't fit a
(17:17):
certain beauty standard or a certain body standard, we're told
that you don't matter. So everything that we you know,
especially twenty years ago, all the representation that we saw
was a very particular look and if you didn't fit
that look, like why bother? Why try? And I think
that's just carried on for a lot of us, and
(17:37):
so we just automatically assume that taking any time to
take care of ourselves, like it's not for us, you know,
it's it's not a thing that's for us, and it
really can be and should be.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, Like a lot of what's out there right now,
we just take it as gospel because somebody has a
million followers on Instagram and they said it, We're inviting
you all to choose your beliefs, choose what you believe
about this, choose what you say about and honestly just
go try it on. If, Like for me, if when
I think about trying it on, I'm like, okay, if
I were to continue going down that road of just
like hiding behind you know, frumpy men's sweatpants, did it
(18:11):
make me feel good?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
No?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Versus When I actually like took a shower and did
my hair and put on some cute clothes and found
clothes that accentuate my currors, which we're going to talk
about in another episode, you know, did it make me
feel better?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Absolutely? So it's like, try it on, you know, see
what works for you, No pun intended, try it on.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Yeah, And you know it's so funny. So in over
the summer because you know, after the pandemic, obviously we
all worked from home, stayed from home, all that kind
of stuff. So as much as I love fashion, I
had a closet full of beautiful clothes. I was making
beautiful things, but I was just hanging out in workout
clothes all day, or just like hanging out I call
them shlump and dunk clothes. I was just like just
so trumky and so over the summer, I challenged myself.
(18:50):
I said, for thirty days, every single day, I'm going
to get fully dressed. I'm gonna, you know, I didn't
have to do like full makeup or anything, but I
was going to get fully dressed and just see what changed.
I didn't have any expectations, I didn't have any goals
other than just get dressed every day. So I did that,
and what I noticed is my motivation to do things
spiked a lot. Also, the way that I interact with
(19:12):
people when I was out was very different. So I'm
usually very much just like within myself and kind of withdrawn.
But I noticed that when I was feeling really good
about myself, I would be like, hey, how are you,
and like strike up a conversation and have a conversation.
And I was like, you know, this, this is actually me.
Like I am a more withdrawn person in general, but
I'm not like antisocial, and so I didn't think that
(19:36):
I was particularly drawing away from people. But I realized
that when I was just feeling really confident and really beautiful,
that I was more willing to make eye contact and
talk to people and meet people. And it was just
a really fun experience experience.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Oh my gosh, I love it. You just reminded me.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Have you ever heard of the lab coat effect in psychology?
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Yes, yeah, so it's like you know, dressing, what do
they say, dress for the job that you want. But
there's this lab coat effect in psychology where there's studies
that show and I don't have the you know, stats
in front of me, even just for example, when they
put on a white lab coat, they found that cognitive
performance and like focus based exercises were were accentuated just
(20:16):
based on the white the white lab coat effect, right,
And it's it's it's exactly what you just experience when
you are actually taking pride in your appearance. You have
an energy about you, a sense of you, and you
know again yes it's energetic, it's a confidence. But like
I could also see like focus and attention and cognition
and all of that, because again it's this entire sensory experience.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yes, yes, and and you the way that you look
people in the eye and then they look at you
and you pick up on different cues and like personality
and just it was just a really beautiful experience. And yeah,
I recommend it if anyone wants to kind of you know,
have an experiment doing and it can be different for everyone.
So I had a client that was like, I want
to do it with you, but I don't you know,
(20:57):
my clothes aren't all dressed because I tend toly, I leaned,
I like to be dressy. But I was like, what
you know, it can be whatever works for you, but
your definition of getting up and feeling put together. Great experiment.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Highly recommend absolutely And we're going to go in depth
in part three of this about like what what to do,
how to do it, how to change your relationship with
your body through a fashion experiment. But next episode we
are going to cover the beliefs that might get in
the way because a lot of this might sound okay,
that sounds great in theory Sarah and Liam, but like
I have a lot of you know again, self image
(21:27):
and body image stuff that's keeping me from getting there.
So we're going to go into some of the specific
beliefs that come alongside that in part two of our series.
But in the meantime, where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
They can find my designs when I released my first one.
They'll find my designs at the styled Magnolia. That's the
Stylemanolia Dot com and personally. You can find me on
Instagram at get fit with Sarah and the fit comes
from Obviously I did come from the fitness world, but
these days it's more about your overall fitness. It's embracing
your body mental, you know, just feeling good mentally and
(22:00):
of course fashion.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Love it three dimensionally fit. I love it well. Thank
you so much for being here. We're going to be
back for next.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Episode of this series, so stay tuned and we'll talk
to you then. Bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!