In this next episode of the Outweigh Q&A series, we're answering more listener questions and diving deep into some of the more hidden struggles with disordered eating that many women face but often don't talk about. Have you ever found yourself chewing food only to spit it out, wondering if that's "normal"? You're not alone. We explore whether these behaviors are just quirky habits or signs of something deeper. We'll also share practical tools to help when those eating disorder thoughts creep back in, and tackle the fear many have: "What if fixing my relationship with food means gaining weight?" Join us as we unpack these tough topics with compassion, honesty, and actionable advice.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
Resources Mentioned:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am, A young strong
I feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's beautiful and I will always out way if you
feel it with your hands and there she'll some love
to the bood. Why get there, say go day Anita?
Did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here and I got my girl Liam by
my side. Hey Leenne, Hello, Hello, This is Q and
A Part two. Yep. We did part one last Saturday,
and you know, talked about comfort eating stress eating. What's
the difference, Like, is that disordered behavior if you're eating
stressed and binge eating. Someone shared that they felt like
(00:57):
it had taken them over and they didn't know where
to start. So we answered those questions and then today
we're going to kind of talk a little bit more
about what is abnormal or weird or disordered. Like someone
shared an example that sometimes they chew food up and
then spit it out. Another person said, what is your
go to tool when edy thoughts creep in? And then
(01:18):
the third question for this week is I'm scared to
fix my eating disorder because I might gain weight. So
it's more of a statement there than a question. But
I think that is a common fear. But let's start
with sometimes I chew food and then spit it out.
Is that abnormal, weird, disordered question? Mark?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, Well, first of all, great question, and thank you
for just feeling safe to share it. You know, I
think sometimes these questions can alone just make us, Like
you asked, is it weird? Is it disordered?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And so first and foremost like just acknowledging that this
is what's happening within you. Just thank you for sharing that.
You know. Technically, yes, the chewing and spinning would be
considered a disordered eating pattern, you know. Again, we want
to make sure we're not, you know, putting you in
a box, so I'm not trying to label you or
diagnose to here. But what that involves is you're chewing
the food and then you're spitting it out before swallowing.
(02:09):
So it's a way to get the taste without actually
like downloading the calories for lack of a way of
saying it right. And so depending on who you ask,
it might be classified as an eating disorder as well.
But again, it's very fixable and you're not broken and
you're not destined to stay this way forever. But part
of it is just understanding what's happening and what it
does do, because I think a lot of times our
(02:30):
drama creeps in and we're like, oh my gosh, I'm
doing this, But then it also must mean that there's
something wrong with me. I'm the worst, I'm a self sabotager,
I'm broken whatever, fill in the blank. So just knowing
that like that could have some actual physical health repercussions
of course, and then the nutritional deficiencies that can come
alongside it as well when you're not actually absorbing food.
(02:51):
And then of course the big one I'm assuming is
what you're writing for is the psychological and emotional impacts
of this. Right, So the big thing about dis ordered
behavior is, like, you know, because we use the distinction
last week between like can food be comforting but then
also using food as comfort and it's in the gray, right,
It's those little distinctions in the gray, And so with this,
(03:11):
you know, part of it is like the chewing and spinning.
For you, probably why most women do it or people
do it is because it feels like a sense of control,
but in reality it's kind of a false sense of control.
What you're really looking for is influence over yourself. But
it feels probably like a false sense of control, right,
which is what all control is, It's a false sense
of it. We the more we try to control something,
(03:31):
typically the more out of control we feel, especially when
we're talking about disordered eating patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So part of it is that like whatever is stemming
this behavior, that's the part that beyond the physical repercussions
of it, the emotional piece of the puzzle is not
being addressed. And so the black and white answer is yes,
that would be considered a disordered eating pattern, but also
just wanted to relinquish any of the shame around that
as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I had so many thoughts during my disordered days
of like, if anybody were to ever see me do
insert whatever it is that I was doing, because I
mean I would do stuff like that, even throw food
away and then be like, oh wait, no, now I
want that, and I would get it out of the trash.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And that's even really cool for me to even stay
out loud.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
It's so embarrassing, and I think that there's a lot
of times that I thought nobody can ever know that
I have done this. If anybody were to hear the
thoughts that I'm having right now, or to see some
of my actions or my behavior, I'd be mortified. So yes,
thank you for sending that in and sharing that, And
(04:37):
then for anybody else that is having those thoughts, yeah,
you're not alone. And there are different go to tools
right if you have some of these moments that creep up,
which is the next question of what is your go
to tool when edie thoughts creep in? And this is
something that's going to be different for everybody. And Leanna
and I have been careful even we were discussing before
we started recording and even last week that these were
(04:59):
sent in a a question box on Instagram. And we
don't know everybody personally and don't know the full story
and what you have going on in your life, so
we're trying to answer in a generic way possible. But
back in twenty twenty when I started out weigh, the
goal for me was to just have normal everyday people
(05:19):
come on and share their stories and then also have
experts come alongside and give tools and resources and comfort
and care. But that the people would feel safe opening
up and sharing their stories so that other people listening
something would click, like oh my gosh, I used to
do that, and I thought I was the only one.
Or oh my gosh, I used to have this thought
and I thought I was the only one. And that's
(05:41):
the beautiful thing about the Internet. Absolutely, like the last
couple of decades or probably when this podcasting start, maybe
twenty ten, but even before that, social media ways that
have brought people together from all over the world.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
People are just feeling.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Less alone in certain areas. Now there is a side
of the point where people feel more isolated and alone
because of the Internet and technology. But I think when
it comes to eating disorders and disordered eating, we now
have more ways than ever to feel seen in a way,
But there is probably stuff if we're being honest, like
(06:16):
deep down you're like, oh, yeah, maybe, but you don't
know this one thought I had, or this one I did,
or this one behavior that I had, Like I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
The only person in the world, and I guess I'm
just saying you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
And I want you to take whatever tools for you
and lean I'll let you go into like a go
to tool for eating disorder thoughts, and then I can
share something that I do for myself, and then we
can get into the fear of wanting to fix your
eating disorder because of awake game.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What you just said is so valid. I can't even
tell you how many times people say to me like Leah,
and my brain is way more broken than your other clients.
And they think that they're you know what I mean,
like this helpless cause, but it's like, no, your brain.
First of all, the beauty of it, it's multable, it's pliable,
it's plastic. We can shift it, right, But the downside
of that is it got molded and shifted in a
way that creates little bit of disorder. And that's really
(07:01):
what it is. It's disorder. It's lack of order in
our brain. Right. And so just again what just stacking
what Amy said. Just know that, like, you're not broken
because you learned, you modeled something, or you learned a
certain way, right, or you found comfort in certain things. Right.
One of the things that I posted on Instagram one
time that got me the most people in my inbox
was I literally started a post with I dug out
(07:22):
a package of red velvet oreos that I threw away,
swearing that I would not touch them again, and then
I was literally like digging them out of the trash,
you know, like these are the things that it's just
what happened, right, But there was so much shame associated
with it that it kept me from sharing stuff like
that for a long time. So thank you for just
saying that in terms of, you know, go to tools
and thoughts when when a thought creeps in. This is
(07:44):
such a big topic and I don't want to you know,
paint band aids on anything. But one thing that just
came to mind for me, for you know, for this question,
is if food wasn't in play right now, food wasn't
an option right and you just asked your brain or
your heart or your mind, like what do I really
need right now? Like what am I really feeling? Like
what am I really desiring right now? And food was
(08:06):
not an option because a lot of people, when they
come to work with me, they think like, no, I know,
I don't want it now, But then I say, I
don't care, I just want it now, And when they
logic and reason with that, they realize, well, actually, no,
I do care. Otherwise it wouldn't be getting to help
that I'm getting. So there are these there's so many beliefs,
and there's like a tangled web of beliefs and almost
lies in our brain. So that's a big web that
needs to get untangled and dismantled, right, which is beyond
(08:28):
the scope of just this question. But the first thing
is like if you could really tap in and tune
into what you really need in that moment and at
because part of it is like when we've been conditioned
to Jeff, turn to food for that or the opposite
condition to say like I'm not gonna eat right the
abdnus or the disappearance of food or what you know,
the non food. Again, it's that false sense of control,
but we're not really solving the problem. It's like we're
(08:51):
constantly putting fires out, putting fires out, putting fires out,
and never addressing the cause of the fires. So that's
where I would just ask you, like it's really just
a thought or a question of like what am I
I'm feeling right now and what do I really need?
And sometimes you're like I'm feeling really lost right now.
I just need some hope, or right now I'm feeling
really sad. I just like I want to feel a
little bit of joy right now, or I'm feeling really lonely,
(09:12):
I'm feeling shape whatever it is like, or I feel
out of control, so I think I'll control myself by
either not eating or losing even more control with food,
right or saying kind of throwing in the towel on
this control conversation anyways, right, So part of it is
like really identifying, like what am I thinking? What am
I feeling right now? And like if food wasn't even
(09:33):
an option to control or not control, what would really
put that fire out?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So for me, journaling is a big tool for trying
to figure out what I'm feeling because you may not
even know. So spending some time with yourself and stillness
and breast, taking a walk in nature, intentionally being by
water trees, just like don't normally be like, hey, listen
to our podcast while you're walking.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But turn off other technology now.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Actually put down this podcast as soon as it's fun and.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Go like have a space, do that, and don't get
intimidated by that by thinking like, well, I don't have
time for a thirty minute walk or something. Take a
five minute walk somewhere if you can get to where
there's trees and water near you, and if not, like
oh to take one or the other.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Is there a lake? Is there water? Is there a
little pond by a park in your neighbor? There?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You know, trees you can just get to you want
to go, take a little walk in a circle, and
the tree in your backyard.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I don't know. There's something for.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Me that's a tool, is me being quiet in nature
with my thoughts with like it helps me tune into
what I'm feeling, because for so long I didn't know
what I was willing. And that is a helpful thing.
And then another tool may be an accountability partner, a
friend that you can rely on or call when you
have the thought or you have the desire to act
(11:01):
on a behavior.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Lisa Haime she was that for me.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Now she's a registered dietitian that, like Leanne, has coached
a lot of people and created courses and done a
lot of the work herself and seen at work, and
she helps others. And I know not everybody their accountability
partner can be a coach in that way. I mean,
Alien's showed up for that way and in other ways.
Because I think Lisa was more when I was in
(11:26):
the thick of my eating disorder, and with you it's
been more of probably in the thick of knowing my worth.
And so you've been a coach for me in that way.
But is there a friend that like you can just
call and they know the ins and outs of all
this with you, even if they don't have experience with it,
Because not everybody it's going to have a friend that
is experiencing the same things.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
But maybe you've gotten.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Vulnerable and you've shared all the things and they've asked, Okay,
well what do you need from me? And you can
say to them, okay, well, when I call and I'm
having this thought, I just want to be able to
call and tell you that I'm having it, and then
I don't know, y'all can work out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Some little thing yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Lean you have a tip for this, But maybe it's like, well,
remember you asked me when you're having this, to remind
you to go take a five minute walk or do
a five minutes of breath work or journal. It can
be like a quick thing like there was, yeah, linging
to my fitness pal whenever I was in recovery and
Lisa was trying to get me to stop because my
documentation wasn't healthy, but.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I was still wanting that last bit of control.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And I would call her and I would be like,
I don't know, I'm freaking out. I really want to
enter what I ate. I need to enter it into
my fitness Pal right now, and she would like talk
me through it and then share every day that I
went without entering in anything into my Fitness Pal made
the next day easier and easier. It just takes one
(12:46):
day at a time.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Absolutely no so wise, And I know, for you know,
what we're also seeking is like within the context of
what you said, somebody to almost like sober us up
a little bit, you know what I mean, and like
remind us of what's true and what's real. And I know,
for I have like just certain scripture that I go to,
or maybe it's quotes for you or just like wise
words from an author that you like right where it's
just like this is something that I remind myself when
(13:10):
I'm anxious. This is something I remind myself when I'm stressed,
when I'm depressed, when I'm sad, when I feel hopeless,
when I feel like food is going to give me
some false sense of control or whatever, right, so you
can also kind of keep your go to and then
you could also give that to your friend and say, hey,
this is what I need to be reminded of when
I tell you that I'm feeling X or that I
don't know what I'm feeling, you know what. It can
kind of use be used in that direction as well.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then this one is, you know, the fear of
gaining weight because you know, get rid of your eating disorder.
If I could just put my arms around and tell
you that your life is going to be so much more.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Full, and it's just feel like it's almost like an exhale.
That's all I'll put it in.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
When you are living your life without your eating disorder
ruling you and dominating you, it.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Is like an exhale. Yeah, And I think once.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
You feel the exhale, you will gladly take that. Over
weight and what I found for me, even with inflammation
that I was holding onto. And again everybody's different, so
I can only share my story, but I will say
that like I look back on pictures during the height
of my eating disorder, and while I may have had
whatever number on the scale, my face was completely inflamed
(14:23):
and other parts of my way too, and I found
that it took a while. It probably took over a year,
but my face started to calm down because I was purging.
And I offer that as like if there's positives of
like if you're stressed about the weight gain, just know
that your heart is going to be healthier, your skin
(14:43):
is going to feel better, your mental health is so
much better. And a lot of mental stress and anguish
leads to inflammation in your body, which inflammation.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Leads to disease. So it's like the.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Give take and what you gain from it is so
much more than the scale.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Gosh, yes, amen, absolutely one thousand percent what Amy just said.
And yeah, part of it two is like that that's
saying like choose your card. I'll just come from my experiences,
Like I had to just kind of make a decision
that moving in the direction of health, there was going
to be some sort of like cleaning up that I
had to do emotionally, mentally, spiritually with my relationship with food.
And then the ramifications that because part of it two
(15:23):
is just acknowledging with so much love, like there are
ramifications for when we put our bodies through that, right,
And I actually I did a two part series about
this topic, specifically on Outweigh, so we'll we'll link it
in the show notes. But part of it too is
like what happens is we think like, oh my gosh,
if I'm not controlling, right, if I'm not controlling, if
I'm not micromanaging, if I'm not whatever, then I'm going
(15:44):
to go off the deep end and gain a bunch
of weight. Is like a big common fear, right. But
then like the opposite, if I'm not controlling, I feel
like I'm going to go off the deep end and
feel out of control. Right, So it's like, what where's
that happy medium? And what happens is if you've learned
the language of control, right, which is the little call
it Spanish, right, if you learn the language and a
restrict deprived count way measure track all of the things, right,
(16:05):
and like you're fluent at Spanish, right, it would make
sense that the language of a freedom feels like a
different language like French, right. And so, but part of
it too is like when you're not practicing the Spanish
that you've been practicing your whole life, a lot of
people think the alternative is just nothing, whether it's intuitive
eating or just like again a lot of people think
that means going off the deep end, right, but when
(16:26):
you actually commit to a process to heal you, you
replace that language with a way that sets you free,
but that also helps you create ideal health. So your
version of ideal health. And so I believe that like
starts at the nervous system. But whatever that looks like
when you are creating health, notice I didn't say going
off the deep end, right, You're replacing that sense of
(16:48):
control with a new sense of like prediction and response
for your brain, so you're not going to feel so
out of control. But then also, like Amy was saying,
the positive consequences of creating more health in your body.
And part of it is this is where again it's
so individualized. Like part of it is that like gaining
some weight might actually be so beneficial to your body
(17:08):
as well, depending on you know where you're coming from.
But part of it is like, well, when you start
focusing on health, like actual health rather than weight, and
the health including the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the
freedom that Amy was just speaking about the weight stuff,
not only does it really work itself out, but then
also you are weighing and measuring your self worth by
that part of it so much less and so again
(17:31):
just kind of stacking on what Amy said. And this
is such a big topic and I did too, like
a two part serheries on this, which again will link.
But there's so much more on the other side that
is beyond the weight. And at first it might seem
like this big daunting thing or like, oh my gosh,
I'm gonna go, you know, gain a bazillion pounds, at
least that's how I felt. But when you actually start
creating that health and that homeostasis in your head, your heart,
(17:53):
your mind, your body, your spirit, the fear does kind
of dissovate because then you can learn to trust your
body again and trust yourself again. But that's a process.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Love it. Thank you, Lianne, and thanks for sending in
your questions.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
We will be.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Continuing the Q and A into next Saturday, where we're
going to be talking about learning not to compare ourselves
to others and finding value outside of your body, which
I think is a great way wrapping up on that
question and then rolling into that the topics next week
will be great so that you can look in the
mirror and love yourself when you see yourself and it
(18:29):
doesn't have to be every single day. You're going to
have your moments, but overall, hopefully you can know your worth.
So we'll cover those questions next week. Until then, Lean,
where can people find you if.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
You want to learn my viewpoints on how to turn
off the part of your brain that's obsessed with food
or obsessed with your way and really rewire your brain
for freedom and peace and rewrite your own self image story.
You can check that out over on stresslesseating dot com.
And you can find more about me over at Leahnellington
dot com as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And I'm Radio Amy on Socials and we will be
back next Saturday for Outweigh, But until then, I got
on Tuesdays the Fifth Thing with Kat, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast which is every Thursday. And
then yeah, Liane's got What's God Got to Do with It?
I encourage you all to check that out her podcast,
And thanks for being.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Here on Outweigh, Lian, and we'll see y'all next week.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Bye bye
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am, A young strong
I feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's beautiful and I will always out way if you
feel it with your hands and there she'll some love
to the bood. Why get there, say go day Anita?
Did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Outweigh Amy here and I got my girl Liam by
my side. Hey Leenne, Hello, Hello, This is Q and
A Part two. Yep. We did part one last Saturday,
and you know, talked about comfort eating stress eating. What's
the difference, Like, is that disordered behavior if you're eating
stressed and binge eating. Someone shared that they felt like
(00:57):
it had taken them over and they didn't know where
to start. So we answered those questions and then today
we're going to kind of talk a little bit more
about what is abnormal or weird or disordered. Like someone
shared an example that sometimes they chew food up and
then spit it out. Another person said, what is your
go to tool when edy thoughts creep in? And then
(01:18):
the third question for this week is I'm scared to
fix my eating disorder because I might gain weight. So
it's more of a statement there than a question. But
I think that is a common fear. But let's start
with sometimes I chew food and then spit it out.
Is that abnormal, weird, disordered question? Mark?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, Well, first of all, great question, and thank you
for just feeling safe to share it. You know, I
think sometimes these questions can alone just make us, Like
you asked, is it weird? Is it disordered?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And so first and foremost like just acknowledging that this
is what's happening within you. Just thank you for sharing that.
You know. Technically, yes, the chewing and spinning would be
considered a disordered eating pattern, you know. Again, we want
to make sure we're not, you know, putting you in
a box, so I'm not trying to label you or
diagnose to here. But what that involves is you're chewing
the food and then you're spitting it out before swallowing.
(02:09):
So it's a way to get the taste without actually
like downloading the calories for lack of a way of
saying it right. And so depending on who you ask,
it might be classified as an eating disorder as well.
But again, it's very fixable and you're not broken and
you're not destined to stay this way forever. But part
of it is just understanding what's happening and what it
does do, because I think a lot of times our
(02:30):
drama creeps in and we're like, oh my gosh, I'm
doing this, But then it also must mean that there's
something wrong with me. I'm the worst, I'm a self sabotager,
I'm broken whatever, fill in the blank. So just knowing
that like that could have some actual physical health repercussions
of course, and then the nutritional deficiencies that can come
alongside it as well when you're not actually absorbing food.
(02:51):
And then of course the big one I'm assuming is
what you're writing for is the psychological and emotional impacts
of this. Right, So the big thing about dis ordered
behavior is, like, you know, because we use the distinction
last week between like can food be comforting but then
also using food as comfort and it's in the gray, right,
It's those little distinctions in the gray, And so with this,
(03:11):
you know, part of it is like the chewing and spinning.
For you, probably why most women do it or people
do it is because it feels like a sense of control,
but in reality it's kind of a false sense of control.
What you're really looking for is influence over yourself. But
it feels probably like a false sense of control, right,
which is what all control is, It's a false sense
of it. We the more we try to control something,
(03:31):
typically the more out of control we feel, especially when
we're talking about disordered eating patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So part of it is that like whatever is stemming
this behavior, that's the part that beyond the physical repercussions
of it, the emotional piece of the puzzle is not
being addressed. And so the black and white answer is yes,
that would be considered a disordered eating pattern, but also
just wanted to relinquish any of the shame around that
as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I had so many thoughts during my disordered days
of like, if anybody were to ever see me do
insert whatever it is that I was doing, because I
mean I would do stuff like that, even throw food
away and then be like, oh wait, no, now I
want that, and I would get it out of the trash.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And that's even really cool for me to even stay
out loud.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
It's so embarrassing, and I think that there's a lot
of times that I thought nobody can ever know that
I have done this. If anybody were to hear the
thoughts that I'm having right now, or to see some
of my actions or my behavior, I'd be mortified. So yes,
thank you for sending that in and sharing that, And
(04:37):
then for anybody else that is having those thoughts, yeah,
you're not alone. And there are different go to tools
right if you have some of these moments that creep up,
which is the next question of what is your go
to tool when edie thoughts creep in? And this is
something that's going to be different for everybody. And Leanna
and I have been careful even we were discussing before
we started recording and even last week that these were
(04:59):
sent in a a question box on Instagram. And we
don't know everybody personally and don't know the full story
and what you have going on in your life, so
we're trying to answer in a generic way possible. But
back in twenty twenty when I started out weigh, the
goal for me was to just have normal everyday people
(05:19):
come on and share their stories and then also have
experts come alongside and give tools and resources and comfort
and care. But that the people would feel safe opening
up and sharing their stories so that other people listening
something would click, like oh my gosh, I used to
do that, and I thought I was the only one.
Or oh my gosh, I used to have this thought
and I thought I was the only one. And that's
(05:41):
the beautiful thing about the Internet. Absolutely, like the last
couple of decades or probably when this podcasting start, maybe
twenty ten, but even before that, social media ways that
have brought people together from all over the world.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
People are just feeling.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Less alone in certain areas. Now there is a side
of the point where people feel more isolated and alone
because of the Internet and technology. But I think when
it comes to eating disorders and disordered eating, we now
have more ways than ever to feel seen in a way,
But there is probably stuff if we're being honest, like
(06:16):
deep down you're like, oh, yeah, maybe, but you don't
know this one thought I had, or this one I did,
or this one behavior that I had, Like I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
The only person in the world, and I guess I'm
just saying you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
And I want you to take whatever tools for you
and lean I'll let you go into like a go
to tool for eating disorder thoughts, and then I can
share something that I do for myself, and then we
can get into the fear of wanting to fix your
eating disorder because of awake game.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What you just said is so valid. I can't even
tell you how many times people say to me like Leah,
and my brain is way more broken than your other clients.
And they think that they're you know what I mean,
like this helpless cause, but it's like, no, your brain.
First of all, the beauty of it, it's multable, it's pliable,
it's plastic. We can shift it, right, But the downside
of that is it got molded and shifted in a
way that creates little bit of disorder. And that's really
(07:01):
what it is. It's disorder. It's lack of order in
our brain. Right. And so just again what just stacking
what Amy said. Just know that, like, you're not broken
because you learned, you modeled something, or you learned a
certain way, right, or you found comfort in certain things. Right.
One of the things that I posted on Instagram one
time that got me the most people in my inbox
was I literally started a post with I dug out
(07:22):
a package of red velvet oreos that I threw away,
swearing that I would not touch them again, and then
I was literally like digging them out of the trash,
you know, like these are the things that it's just
what happened, right, But there was so much shame associated
with it that it kept me from sharing stuff like
that for a long time. So thank you for just
saying that in terms of, you know, go to tools
and thoughts when when a thought creeps in. This is
(07:44):
such a big topic and I don't want to you know,
paint band aids on anything. But one thing that just
came to mind for me, for you know, for this question,
is if food wasn't in play right now, food wasn't
an option right and you just asked your brain or
your heart or your mind, like what do I really
need right now? Like what am I really feeling? Like
what am I really desiring right now? And food was
(08:06):
not an option because a lot of people, when they
come to work with me, they think like, no, I know,
I don't want it now, But then I say, I
don't care, I just want it now, And when they
logic and reason with that, they realize, well, actually, no,
I do care. Otherwise it wouldn't be getting to help
that I'm getting. So there are these there's so many beliefs,
and there's like a tangled web of beliefs and almost
lies in our brain. So that's a big web that
needs to get untangled and dismantled, right, which is beyond
(08:28):
the scope of just this question. But the first thing
is like if you could really tap in and tune
into what you really need in that moment and at
because part of it is like when we've been conditioned
to Jeff, turn to food for that or the opposite
condition to say like I'm not gonna eat right the
abdnus or the disappearance of food or what you know,
the non food. Again, it's that false sense of control,
but we're not really solving the problem. It's like we're
(08:51):
constantly putting fires out, putting fires out, putting fires out,
and never addressing the cause of the fires. So that's
where I would just ask you, like it's really just
a thought or a question of like what am I
I'm feeling right now and what do I really need?
And sometimes you're like I'm feeling really lost right now.
I just need some hope, or right now I'm feeling
really sad. I just like I want to feel a
little bit of joy right now, or I'm feeling really lonely,
(09:12):
I'm feeling shape whatever it is like, or I feel
out of control, so I think I'll control myself by
either not eating or losing even more control with food,
right or saying kind of throwing in the towel on
this control conversation anyways, right, So part of it is
like really identifying, like what am I thinking? What am
I feeling right now? And like if food wasn't even
(09:33):
an option to control or not control, what would really
put that fire out?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So for me, journaling is a big tool for trying
to figure out what I'm feeling because you may not
even know. So spending some time with yourself and stillness
and breast, taking a walk in nature, intentionally being by
water trees, just like don't normally be like, hey, listen
to our podcast while you're walking.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But turn off other technology now.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Actually put down this podcast as soon as it's fun and.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Go like have a space, do that, and don't get
intimidated by that by thinking like, well, I don't have
time for a thirty minute walk or something. Take a
five minute walk somewhere if you can get to where
there's trees and water near you, and if not, like
oh to take one or the other.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Is there a lake? Is there water? Is there a
little pond by a park in your neighbor? There?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You know, trees you can just get to you want
to go, take a little walk in a circle, and
the tree in your backyard.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I don't know. There's something for.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Me that's a tool, is me being quiet in nature
with my thoughts with like it helps me tune into
what I'm feeling, because for so long I didn't know
what I was willing. And that is a helpful thing.
And then another tool may be an accountability partner, a
friend that you can rely on or call when you
have the thought or you have the desire to act
(11:01):
on a behavior.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Lisa Haime she was that for me.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Now she's a registered dietitian that, like Leanne, has coached
a lot of people and created courses and done a
lot of the work herself and seen at work, and
she helps others. And I know not everybody their accountability
partner can be a coach in that way. I mean,
Alien's showed up for that way and in other ways.
Because I think Lisa was more when I was in
(11:26):
the thick of my eating disorder, and with you it's
been more of probably in the thick of knowing my worth.
And so you've been a coach for me in that way.
But is there a friend that like you can just
call and they know the ins and outs of all
this with you, even if they don't have experience with it,
Because not everybody it's going to have a friend that
is experiencing the same things.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
But maybe you've gotten.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Vulnerable and you've shared all the things and they've asked, Okay,
well what do you need from me? And you can
say to them, okay, well, when I call and I'm
having this thought, I just want to be able to
call and tell you that I'm having it, and then
I don't know, y'all can work out.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Some little thing yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Lean you have a tip for this, But maybe it's like, well,
remember you asked me when you're having this, to remind
you to go take a five minute walk or do
a five minutes of breath work or journal. It can
be like a quick thing like there was, yeah, linging
to my fitness pal whenever I was in recovery and
Lisa was trying to get me to stop because my
documentation wasn't healthy, but.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I was still wanting that last bit of control.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And I would call her and I would be like,
I don't know, I'm freaking out. I really want to
enter what I ate. I need to enter it into
my fitness Pal right now, and she would like talk
me through it and then share every day that I
went without entering in anything into my Fitness Pal made
the next day easier and easier. It just takes one
(12:46):
day at a time.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Absolutely no so wise, And I know, for you know,
what we're also seeking is like within the context of
what you said, somebody to almost like sober us up
a little bit, you know what I mean, and like
remind us of what's true and what's real. And I know,
for I have like just certain scripture that I go to,
or maybe it's quotes for you or just like wise
words from an author that you like right where it's
just like this is something that I remind myself when
(13:10):
I'm anxious. This is something I remind myself when I'm stressed,
when I'm depressed, when I'm sad, when I feel hopeless,
when I feel like food is going to give me
some false sense of control or whatever, right, so you
can also kind of keep your go to and then
you could also give that to your friend and say, hey,
this is what I need to be reminded of when
I tell you that I'm feeling X or that I
don't know what I'm feeling, you know what. It can
kind of use be used in that direction as well.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then this one is, you know, the fear of
gaining weight because you know, get rid of your eating disorder.
If I could just put my arms around and tell
you that your life is going to be so much more.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Full, and it's just feel like it's almost like an exhale.
That's all I'll put it in.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
When you are living your life without your eating disorder
ruling you and dominating you, it.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Is like an exhale. Yeah, And I think once.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
You feel the exhale, you will gladly take that. Over
weight and what I found for me, even with inflammation
that I was holding onto. And again everybody's different, so
I can only share my story, but I will say
that like I look back on pictures during the height
of my eating disorder, and while I may have had
whatever number on the scale, my face was completely inflamed
(14:23):
and other parts of my way too, and I found
that it took a while. It probably took over a year,
but my face started to calm down because I was purging.
And I offer that as like if there's positives of
like if you're stressed about the weight gain, just know
that your heart is going to be healthier, your skin
(14:43):
is going to feel better, your mental health is so
much better. And a lot of mental stress and anguish
leads to inflammation in your body, which inflammation.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Leads to disease. So it's like the.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Give take and what you gain from it is so
much more than the scale.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Gosh, yes, amen, absolutely one thousand percent what Amy just said.
And yeah, part of it two is like that that's
saying like choose your card. I'll just come from my experiences,
Like I had to just kind of make a decision
that moving in the direction of health, there was going
to be some sort of like cleaning up that I
had to do emotionally, mentally, spiritually with my relationship with food.
And then the ramifications that because part of it two
(15:23):
is just acknowledging with so much love, like there are
ramifications for when we put our bodies through that, right,
And I actually I did a two part series about
this topic, specifically on Outweigh, so we'll we'll link it
in the show notes. But part of it too is
like what happens is we think like, oh my gosh,
if I'm not controlling, right, if I'm not controlling, if
I'm not micromanaging, if I'm not whatever, then I'm going
(15:44):
to go off the deep end and gain a bunch
of weight. Is like a big common fear, right. But
then like the opposite, if I'm not controlling, I feel
like I'm going to go off the deep end and
feel out of control. Right, So it's like, what where's
that happy medium? And what happens is if you've learned
the language of control, right, which is the little call
it Spanish, right, if you learn the language and a
restrict deprived count way measure track all of the things, right,
(16:05):
and like you're fluent at Spanish, right, it would make
sense that the language of a freedom feels like a
different language like French, right. And so, but part of
it too is like when you're not practicing the Spanish
that you've been practicing your whole life, a lot of
people think the alternative is just nothing, whether it's intuitive
eating or just like again a lot of people think
that means going off the deep end, right, but when
(16:26):
you actually commit to a process to heal you, you
replace that language with a way that sets you free,
but that also helps you create ideal health. So your
version of ideal health. And so I believe that like
starts at the nervous system. But whatever that looks like
when you are creating health, notice I didn't say going
off the deep end, right, You're replacing that sense of
(16:48):
control with a new sense of like prediction and response
for your brain, so you're not going to feel so
out of control. But then also, like Amy was saying,
the positive consequences of creating more health in your body.
And part of it is this is where again it's
so individualized. Like part of it is that like gaining
some weight might actually be so beneficial to your body
(17:08):
as well, depending on you know where you're coming from.
But part of it is like, well, when you start
focusing on health, like actual health rather than weight, and
the health including the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the
freedom that Amy was just speaking about the weight stuff,
not only does it really work itself out, but then
also you are weighing and measuring your self worth by
that part of it so much less and so again
(17:31):
just kind of stacking on what Amy said. And this
is such a big topic and I did too, like
a two part serheries on this, which again will link.
But there's so much more on the other side that
is beyond the weight. And at first it might seem
like this big daunting thing or like, oh my gosh,
I'm gonna go, you know, gain a bazillion pounds, at
least that's how I felt. But when you actually start
creating that health and that homeostasis in your head, your heart,
(17:53):
your mind, your body, your spirit, the fear does kind
of dissovate because then you can learn to trust your
body again and trust yourself again. But that's a process.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Love it. Thank you, Lianne, and thanks for sending in
your questions.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
We will be.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Continuing the Q and A into next Saturday, where we're
going to be talking about learning not to compare ourselves
to others and finding value outside of your body, which
I think is a great way wrapping up on that
question and then rolling into that the topics next week
will be great so that you can look in the
mirror and love yourself when you see yourself and it
(18:29):
doesn't have to be every single day. You're going to
have your moments, but overall, hopefully you can know your worth.
So we'll cover those questions next week. Until then, Lean,
where can people find you if.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
You want to learn my viewpoints on how to turn
off the part of your brain that's obsessed with food
or obsessed with your way and really rewire your brain
for freedom and peace and rewrite your own self image story.
You can check that out over on stresslesseating dot com.
And you can find more about me over at Leahnellington
dot com as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And I'm Radio Amy on Socials and we will be
back next Saturday for Outweigh, But until then, I got
on Tuesdays the Fifth Thing with Kat, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast which is every Thursday. And
then yeah, Liane's got What's God Got to Do with It?
I encourage you all to check that out her podcast,
And thanks for being.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Here on Outweigh, Lian, and we'll see y'all next week.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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