Can you love food AND maintain a healthy relationship with food? We absolutely think so! And that's why we are here to talk about this very important distinction. These things do NOT have to cancel eachother out or stay mutually exclusive. But...there are some very important distinctions that you want to keep in mind--- especially since there are a lot of mixed messages out there about this topic.
Amy & Leanne are back again for the FOURTH episode of the Mini-Series Two Things Can Be True At The Same Time (Normalizing the In-Betweens and Healing From Extremism) where they share their thoughts and takeaways on how you can have BOTH: You can heal from your disordered eating and have a healthy relationship with food.... AND still love food, love sugar, find pleasure and joy in food....AND still have food 'stuff' you're continually working though (it can ALL be true).
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm
made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I am, I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I
know every part of me.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It, but you are, She'll some love to the food.
Why have there take you?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Day?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
And did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Amy Brown and I'm Leanne Ellington, and this is
part four of a series we're calling two things can
be true at the same time, and today we are
focusing on well, three things being true at the same time.
You can heal from your disordered eating and have a
healthy relationship with food and still love food, love, sugar, fine,
(00:57):
pleasure and joy and food and still have food stuff
that you're continually working through. All of these things can
be true. Yeah, absolutely, all at the same time.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So yeah, I think this is a big one because
we think that we need to or at least I died,
you know when I started my healing journey, and this
was a product of the extremism of you know, still
thinking that there was good and bad, right and wrong,
or that I couldn't even imagine a version of myself
that could trust myself around these foods that I typically
associated with pleasure. And then of course I had been
(01:32):
hearing that like sugar is the enemy, sugar is the.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Devil, all these things. So we're being programmed and it's
so confusing.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So we think that, at least I did, and I
know a lot of my clients have this perception as
well that when their air quotes healed, they're never going
to have sugar, or they're never going to want sugar,
or and maybe it's not sugar, maybe it's you know,
salty and savory and all of that. But I know
for me, I had this perception of what it was
going to look like, and so I didn't have the
(02:00):
awareness to have the awareness that all of these things
could be true at the same time. So having a
healed relationship with food, finding joy and fun and pleasure
in food, which we'll talk about, but then also be
aware that I'm here and I'm at peace, but there's
also the next level of freedom and peace that I
might be working on, and giving yourself permission to be
(02:21):
on that journey as well. So starting with the first thing,
which is finding that freedom and that peace, and like
we talked about on the first episode of this series,
is this concept of really being mindful. And in my opinion,
I do believe you have to take a sabbatical from
the weight loss mentality and the typical goal setting mentality
(02:42):
and really go heal this. So when we talk about
having a healthy relationship with food, it denotes that if
you've learned and practiced many years of an unhealthy or
a disordered behavior relationship with food, that it denotes that
you're going to go through a period of healing. And
again it's not always linear. It takes time. But coming
from this place of having a more balanced and peaceful
(03:06):
driven relationship with food, where does the topic of enjoying
food come into play?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Because that's the thing it's demonized.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You know. Again, we talked about sugar being labeled as
bad and evil and addictive and all of these things,
But it doesn't leave space for food being part of
connection and pleasure and fun and family and culture and
all of these things. So how can we have both?
And another distinction that comes to mind around this is
(03:35):
when you're living in a reality that coexists with the
binge restrict cycle. So that bine restrict cycle is the
restriction takes over at one point where you're like, I
can't have that, not allowed to have that.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
That's bad, that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And then you abstain or you control or you restrict
to the point in my case, when I couldn't take
it any longer and I switched to the opposite. So
when I wasn't playing my inner food police, it was
carefree abandonment, eat everything in sight, and trying to you know,
air quotes, get it in before I knew that the
flip would be switched, the switch would be flipped again.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Oh yeah, That's how I spent much of my life, right,
So in that paradigm, there's no room for having food
for pleasure because it's not about that, right.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
But when you have.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This relationship with food where it's just food and you
you can like use it for sustenance and feeding your
body and fueling your body, it also creates a space
where you can be like, Wow, that chocolate chip cookie
with like real sugar, real butter, real eggs, real chocolate
was delicious. And it doesn't mean that I don't like
my you know, protein cookie that I put cookie that
(04:38):
I put protein powder and you know egg whites and
Stevia chips in.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Isn't also good.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Sure, but there is a right there's a disorder that
comes with that. No, I think that that's totally okay.
I'm with you on that. I will say, though, when
I finally flipped the switch to like being able to
enjoy food, and I realized some of the food I
used to find enjoyable, or at least I convinced myself
I did. I've gone back to eating it at times
(05:07):
because it was all I had access to, or like,
there was this particular type of bar, for example, that
I used to get because it had no sugar in
it whatsoever. I don't even know how they make it
sweet though, don't ask me, but I ate them all
the time, and I thought that they were amazing. And
then I had one the other day because again it's
all I had access to, and I was like, this
(05:27):
is disgusting. Yeah, how did I eat this all the time?
Absolutely for years I eat it. And then now that
everything's changed, Yep, I'm a different person.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yep. I can't go back to that now.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Some stuff to your point, like you may still enjoy
that particular type of cookie and there's nothing wrong with
black bean brownies or whatever. Although when I was starting
that recovery, I swung all the way to where it's like, oh,
only bad brownies or bust because I don't care about
anything exactly. And now I'm in a place where I
could be like, oh, black bean brownies, that makes sense
(06:01):
right now because I would love to get in the
extra fiber absolutely. Or now I see even blueberries in
a different way. I used to see them as like, Okay,
that's a low sugar fruit that I'm gonna try to,
you know, be quote unquote healthy with. And now I'm like, oh, wow,
I get to enjoy an abundance of blueberries right now,
and my brain is going to be so excited for this, absolutely,
(06:23):
Like I see it more for what it's actually doing
for my body then that it's just on this list
of foods that I need to eat because they're allowed totally.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, you bring up such a good point, and that's
where I where it was saying, like, when you're in it,
you don't even see that this is possible, But once
you're in the healing side of it, it creates space
for it. Because, let's be honest, when I was at
the height of my disordered eating and even like the
orthorexia side of it, I could and then swaying to
the binging side of it. You better believe if even
(06:52):
if I was, you know, air quotes judging myself, if
it wasn't a black bean brownie, I would binge an
entire batch of black bean brownies.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I didn't discriminate, right.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So the pendulum swings all directions, whether it's an air
quotes healthy thing or not. But part of it is
like that's where I want to invite you all and
kind of sets you up for the expectation now that
when you do have a healed relationship with food, because
part of it too is it's a product of being
in that cycle. You're probably very desensitized or disconnected from
(07:20):
what is hunger, what is fullness? What is pleasure? And
where am I feeding a hole in my emotional self?
Where am I actually, you know, enjoying this or where
is it a coping mechanism when I'm lonely stressed at
our board. So we become desensitized to it. We don't
trust ourselves. Often one of my clients was, like, my
ticker's broken, Like she doesn't trust herself.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
She doesn't know what she likes and what she wants.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
So that's where I want to set you all up
for now, the possibility that once you do have this
and I put it in air quotes normal relationship with food.
But whatever you dictate, you want your new normal to
be a healthy, healed relationship. Like whatever your new normal
is that you picture where you feel healthy and at
ease with food, I also want you to invite you
into the space where it can coexist, where you can
(08:03):
also enter into a conversation where food is fun, it's pleasurable.
You know, you could have a list of restaurants that
you want to visit. You could have a page on
Instagram that you follow because you love their delicacies. Like,
it doesn't have to be such a threat, but when
you're in it, you might not even know that that's possible.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And I think too, it's important to remember that it's
you're going to evolve the more you grow in this area,
because I think of things you know that even just
last year that let me see how I could put this, Like,
I guess it's it's like permission to maybe not feel
(08:40):
a certain way about a food for the rest of
your life. Yeah, even in healing, even in recovery, your
taste might change, your thoughts about something might change. And
that's the best part. My favorite things is like if
we're not evolving, we're dead. And so your desire for
certain food are going to evolve and change as you're
(09:03):
on this journey. And just because in the first parts
of your healing you were like, oh, this is really
the bread that I'm into, and then suddenly you're not,
Like that doesn't mean anything. You just don't put pressure
on yourself to have like, Okay, now that I'm in
this lane, it's this way or the highway, Like there's
just some stuff for me that has flowed floan.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Flowed loan and flowed flowed.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
In and out of my life and it's like I'm
breezy with it. Yeah, like okay, one day I'm I'm
wanting that and I ate that and it's like, okay,
no big deal. But we love to bring up that
pendulum swinging. Like there was times where it's like, oh,
I want all of this stuff and that's totally okay.
But if I go back over here and only want
this type of thing, that's also okay too.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I love how you said breezy too, because it denotes
this care free energy, which is the opposite of extremism
and putting yourself in a box and having to be
one way. And yeah, giving yourself permission to change your
mind and change your beliefs and change your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I know for me, you know, ten years ago, I
was like.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh, official sweeteners or the devil, And I mean I
was on that bandwagon. And here's the thing, Like it's
different for everyone, like people have different But there's now
talk about the evidence based science world.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
There's study after study after study.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Proving that you know, even aspartain, which is the one
that is like gotten a lot of flack, is really
not harmful in high doses, not everybody or sorry, in
normal doses that people would intake. Now, not everybody is
feels their best when they're drinking artificial sweeteners. But even
things like that, like being open to new research coming
out and being open to the fact that like maybe
(10:33):
you're not the same person you were ten years ago
or five years ago, and giving yourself that breezy attitude
to be able to change your mind and.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Leave space for it.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And that is the third thing of the two things
that can be true at the same time, like your
relationship with food, your body, yourself is always evolving. So
I remember times when I couldn't keep peanut butter in
the house because it was a trigger for me. I
would you know, binge it. It didn't have to be
actual sugar, right, And then it was the next level
of like, oh I can actually keep peanut butter in
my house. And then it was like, oh, I can
actually keep something that has actual sugar in my house.
(11:03):
And it's like giving yourself permission to let it be
the next level, the next level, the next level, but
find that pendulum in the middle where you can also
give yourself permission to be human about food and pleasure
and cravings and all of the things.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Do you watch Friends? I did.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, it makes me think of that episode with Monica
where she's like, I'm breezy, yes, and Monica is the
most uptight, o cre not breezy person, but she's breezy convinced,
yes that she's breezy.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah yeah, so get your inner Monica. Yeah, yeah you are,
you are breezy.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah. I even journaled this morning about my breeziness because
I really wasn't being very breezy about something yesterday. So
and I know you and I talk about a lot
about acting as if. And I was like, you know what,
I really do think that that was circumstantial and I
am breezy and I'm easy to get along with in
(11:59):
this area. It was something with my ex husband and
I was not being breezy at all, and I see
it today. Yeah, but I'm going to celebrate the fact
that I'm aware of it totally. I'm aware that I
wasn't breezy, and then I journaled through how I'm going
to be breezy, and I see myself in the future
being so breezy next time. I'm already so breezy. It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah. Absolutely, I can't even see you. You flew by so
quickly because you're so breezy, so breezy.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
And so that might be how you know, maybe listening
right now, you're not breezy about a certain thing, but
journal through it, picture yourself being breezy. Yeah, And how
does it feel being able to be breezy about it?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Absolutely? Yeah, so much lighter.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Absolutely, I love how you created that picture because that's
today's episode is a little bit harder to grasp if
you've never experienced it. It's one of the biggest things
for my clients are like, I don't even understand what
it would be like to not feel so crazy around food.
I don't know what it would feel like to have
peace around food, but to also not feel like a
chigarat lee.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's hard for them to grasp.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So I think, if anything, if we're giving that weekly
dose of encouragement today, knowing that it is possible to
find peace with food and find pleasure in it, but
without it being this rabbit hole where it becomes almost
like a drug like pole, so to speak, or a
feeling like an addict, Like, there is that space for
them to coexist, even if you don't believe it's possible
(13:24):
yet just giving you that encouragement that it is.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
It is, it's totally possible. Because I had those exact
same thoughts for decades. Yeah, and I was in a
place of acceptance of this is just how this is
my life, this is how it's going to be, and
this is how we operate, and so.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Let's get used to it, right, Yeah, and then becomes
yourself image and identity.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And it's just so not the case. So I know
that if I'm able to be in a different place
with it, and it just expands your world.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
It frees your brain up.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I mean, they have that saying of like, this sort
of stuff is just living in your brain rent free and.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
You deserve better. Yeah, and it's totally possible.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah, And that's why little conversations like this are helpful,
because if you're having those thoughts. I also remember thinking,
am I the only person in the world with these thoughts?
Because nobody when I was in my teens twenties, like, okay,
so in the nineties and early two thousands, nobody was
talking about binge eating. I thought, literally I was the
only person and there was so much shame around it.
(14:24):
I didn't want to talk about it. And I'm like,
why in the world did I just eat all of that?
And who do I even tell? And I'm so messed up,
something's wrong with me. And then now we know that
there's so many people that have that, But it was
coming from a place of my times of restriction, and
it was this pattern.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Absolutely, it's so isolating, and it makes us think that
we're the only one that struggles the way that we are.
And then a lot of the thoughts that came up
for me and for my clients are like, if only
they knew how crazy I was, messed up broken, fill
on the blank. And that's another I think really important,
and part of today's episode is really just letting you know,
like you're not alone, you're not crazy, you're not messed up,
(15:05):
you're not broken, you're not too far gone. You learned
what we learned, and there's a way to unlearn it
and relearn something new that sets you free but also
coexists in a world where you can enjoy life and
socializing and friends and family and food and all the
things that come alongside it. And the journey can be
a dot dot dot never ending, always evolving thing.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, So to recap, you can heal from your disordered
eating and have a healthy relationship with food, and you
can still love food, love sugar, find pleasure and joy
and food and still have food stuff that you're continually
working through.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It can all be true. Absolutely, Boom Leanne. Where can
people find you?
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Absolutely to talk more about this, learn more about this,
you can head on over to stressless eating dot com.
There's some resources over there for you to learn more.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And I am at radio Amy on Instagram and hope
y'all are having the day that you need to have
and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Bye bye
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Mm hmm.
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm
made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I am, I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I
know every part of me.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It, but you are, She'll some love to the food.
Why have there take you?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Day?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
And did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Amy Brown and I'm Leanne Ellington, and this is
part four of a series we're calling two things can
be true at the same time, and today we are
focusing on well, three things being true at the same time.
You can heal from your disordered eating and have a
healthy relationship with food and still love food, love, sugar, fine,
(00:57):
pleasure and joy and food and still have food stuff
that you're continually working through. All of these things can
be true. Yeah, absolutely, all at the same time.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So yeah, I think this is a big one because
we think that we need to or at least I died,
you know when I started my healing journey, and this
was a product of the extremism of you know, still
thinking that there was good and bad, right and wrong,
or that I couldn't even imagine a version of myself
that could trust myself around these foods that I typically
associated with pleasure. And then of course I had been
(01:32):
hearing that like sugar is the enemy, sugar is the.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Devil, all these things. So we're being programmed and it's
so confusing.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So we think that, at least I did, and I
know a lot of my clients have this perception as
well that when their air quotes healed, they're never going
to have sugar, or they're never going to want sugar,
or and maybe it's not sugar, maybe it's you know,
salty and savory and all of that. But I know
for me, I had this perception of what it was
going to look like, and so I didn't have the
(02:00):
awareness to have the awareness that all of these things
could be true at the same time. So having a
healed relationship with food, finding joy and fun and pleasure
in food, which we'll talk about, but then also be
aware that I'm here and I'm at peace, but there's
also the next level of freedom and peace that I
might be working on, and giving yourself permission to be
(02:21):
on that journey as well. So starting with the first thing,
which is finding that freedom and that peace, and like
we talked about on the first episode of this series,
is this concept of really being mindful. And in my opinion,
I do believe you have to take a sabbatical from
the weight loss mentality and the typical goal setting mentality
(02:42):
and really go heal this. So when we talk about
having a healthy relationship with food, it denotes that if
you've learned and practiced many years of an unhealthy or
a disordered behavior relationship with food, that it denotes that
you're going to go through a period of healing. And
again it's not always linear. It takes time. But coming
from this place of having a more balanced and peaceful
(03:06):
driven relationship with food, where does the topic of enjoying
food come into play?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Because that's the thing it's demonized.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You know. Again, we talked about sugar being labeled as
bad and evil and addictive and all of these things,
But it doesn't leave space for food being part of
connection and pleasure and fun and family and culture and
all of these things. So how can we have both?
And another distinction that comes to mind around this is
(03:35):
when you're living in a reality that coexists with the
binge restrict cycle. So that bine restrict cycle is the
restriction takes over at one point where you're like, I
can't have that, not allowed to have that.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
That's bad, that's wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
And then you abstain or you control or you restrict
to the point in my case, when I couldn't take
it any longer and I switched to the opposite. So
when I wasn't playing my inner food police, it was
carefree abandonment, eat everything in sight, and trying to you know,
air quotes, get it in before I knew that the
flip would be switched, the switch would be flipped again.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Oh yeah, That's how I spent much of my life, right,
So in that paradigm, there's no room for having food
for pleasure because it's not about that, right.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
But when you have.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
This relationship with food where it's just food and you
you can like use it for sustenance and feeding your
body and fueling your body, it also creates a space
where you can be like, Wow, that chocolate chip cookie
with like real sugar, real butter, real eggs, real chocolate
was delicious. And it doesn't mean that I don't like
my you know, protein cookie that I put cookie that
(04:38):
I put protein powder and you know egg whites and
Stevia chips in.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Isn't also good.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Sure, but there is a right there's a disorder that
comes with that. No, I think that that's totally okay.
I'm with you on that. I will say, though, when
I finally flipped the switch to like being able to
enjoy food, and I realized some of the food I
used to find enjoyable, or at least I convinced myself
I did. I've gone back to eating it at times
(05:07):
because it was all I had access to, or like,
there was this particular type of bar, for example, that
I used to get because it had no sugar in
it whatsoever. I don't even know how they make it
sweet though, don't ask me, but I ate them all
the time, and I thought that they were amazing. And
then I had one the other day because again it's
all I had access to, and I was like, this
(05:27):
is disgusting. Yeah, how did I eat this all the time?
Absolutely for years I eat it. And then now that
everything's changed, Yep, I'm a different person.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yep. I can't go back to that now.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Some stuff to your point, like you may still enjoy
that particular type of cookie and there's nothing wrong with
black bean brownies or whatever. Although when I was starting
that recovery, I swung all the way to where it's like, oh,
only bad brownies or bust because I don't care about
anything exactly. And now I'm in a place where I
could be like, oh, black bean brownies, that makes sense
(06:01):
right now because I would love to get in the
extra fiber absolutely. Or now I see even blueberries in
a different way. I used to see them as like, Okay,
that's a low sugar fruit that I'm gonna try to,
you know, be quote unquote healthy with. And now I'm like, oh, wow,
I get to enjoy an abundance of blueberries right now,
and my brain is going to be so excited for this, absolutely,
(06:23):
Like I see it more for what it's actually doing
for my body then that it's just on this list
of foods that I need to eat because they're allowed totally.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, you bring up such a good point, and that's
where I where it was saying, like, when you're in it,
you don't even see that this is possible, But once
you're in the healing side of it, it creates space
for it. Because, let's be honest, when I was at
the height of my disordered eating and even like the
orthorexia side of it, I could and then swaying to
the binging side of it. You better believe if even
(06:52):
if I was, you know, air quotes judging myself, if
it wasn't a black bean brownie, I would binge an
entire batch of black bean brownies.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I didn't discriminate, right.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
So the pendulum swings all directions, whether it's an air
quotes healthy thing or not. But part of it is
like that's where I want to invite you all and
kind of sets you up for the expectation now that
when you do have a healed relationship with food, because
part of it too is it's a product of being
in that cycle. You're probably very desensitized or disconnected from
(07:20):
what is hunger, what is fullness? What is pleasure? And
where am I feeding a hole in my emotional self?
Where am I actually, you know, enjoying this or where
is it a coping mechanism when I'm lonely stressed at
our board. So we become desensitized to it. We don't
trust ourselves. Often one of my clients was, like, my
ticker's broken, Like she doesn't trust herself.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
She doesn't know what she likes and what she wants.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
So that's where I want to set you all up
for now, the possibility that once you do have this
and I put it in air quotes normal relationship with food.
But whatever you dictate, you want your new normal to
be a healthy, healed relationship. Like whatever your new normal
is that you picture where you feel healthy and at
ease with food, I also want you to invite you
into the space where it can coexist, where you can
(08:03):
also enter into a conversation where food is fun, it's pleasurable.
You know, you could have a list of restaurants that
you want to visit. You could have a page on
Instagram that you follow because you love their delicacies. Like,
it doesn't have to be such a threat, but when
you're in it, you might not even know that that's possible.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And I think too, it's important to remember that it's
you're going to evolve the more you grow in this area,
because I think of things you know that even just
last year that let me see how I could put this, Like,
I guess it's it's like permission to maybe not feel
(08:40):
a certain way about a food for the rest of
your life. Yeah, even in healing, even in recovery, your
taste might change, your thoughts about something might change. And
that's the best part. My favorite things is like if
we're not evolving, we're dead. And so your desire for
certain food are going to evolve and change as you're
(09:03):
on this journey. And just because in the first parts
of your healing you were like, oh, this is really
the bread that I'm into, and then suddenly you're not,
Like that doesn't mean anything. You just don't put pressure
on yourself to have like, Okay, now that I'm in
this lane, it's this way or the highway, Like there's
just some stuff for me that has flowed floan.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Flowed loan and flowed flowed.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
In and out of my life and it's like I'm
breezy with it. Yeah, like okay, one day I'm I'm
wanting that and I ate that and it's like, okay,
no big deal. But we love to bring up that
pendulum swinging. Like there was times where it's like, oh,
I want all of this stuff and that's totally okay.
But if I go back over here and only want
this type of thing, that's also okay too.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I love how you said breezy too, because it denotes
this care free energy, which is the opposite of extremism
and putting yourself in a box and having to be
one way. And yeah, giving yourself permission to change your
mind and change your beliefs and change your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I know for me, you know, ten years ago, I
was like.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh, official sweeteners or the devil, And I mean I
was on that bandwagon. And here's the thing, Like it's
different for everyone, like people have different But there's now
talk about the evidence based science world.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
There's study after study after study.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Proving that you know, even aspartain, which is the one
that is like gotten a lot of flack, is really
not harmful in high doses, not everybody or sorry, in
normal doses that people would intake. Now, not everybody is
feels their best when they're drinking artificial sweeteners. But even
things like that, like being open to new research coming
out and being open to the fact that like maybe
(10:33):
you're not the same person you were ten years ago
or five years ago, and giving yourself that breezy attitude
to be able to change your mind and.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Leave space for it.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
And that is the third thing of the two things
that can be true at the same time, like your
relationship with food, your body, yourself is always evolving. So
I remember times when I couldn't keep peanut butter in
the house because it was a trigger for me. I
would you know, binge it. It didn't have to be
actual sugar, right, And then it was the next level
of like, oh I can actually keep peanut butter in
my house. And then it was like, oh, I can
actually keep something that has actual sugar in my house.
(11:03):
And it's like giving yourself permission to let it be
the next level, the next level, the next level, but
find that pendulum in the middle where you can also
give yourself permission to be human about food and pleasure
and cravings and all of the things.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Do you watch Friends? I did.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, it makes me think of that episode with Monica
where she's like, I'm breezy, yes, and Monica is the
most uptight, o cre not breezy person, but she's breezy convinced,
yes that she's breezy.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah yeah, so get your inner Monica. Yeah, yeah you are,
you are breezy.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah. I even journaled this morning about my breeziness because
I really wasn't being very breezy about something yesterday. So
and I know you and I talk about a lot
about acting as if. And I was like, you know what,
I really do think that that was circumstantial and I
am breezy and I'm easy to get along with in
(11:59):
this area. It was something with my ex husband and
I was not being breezy at all, and I see
it today. Yeah, but I'm going to celebrate the fact
that I'm aware of it totally. I'm aware that I
wasn't breezy, and then I journaled through how I'm going
to be breezy, and I see myself in the future
being so breezy next time. I'm already so breezy. It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah. Absolutely, I can't even see you. You flew by so
quickly because you're so breezy, so breezy.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
And so that might be how you know, maybe listening
right now, you're not breezy about a certain thing, but
journal through it, picture yourself being breezy. Yeah, And how
does it feel being able to be breezy about it?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Absolutely? Yeah, so much lighter.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Absolutely, I love how you created that picture because that's
today's episode is a little bit harder to grasp if
you've never experienced it. It's one of the biggest things
for my clients are like, I don't even understand what
it would be like to not feel so crazy around food.
I don't know what it would feel like to have
peace around food, but to also not feel like a
chigarat lee.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It's hard for them to grasp.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So I think, if anything, if we're giving that weekly
dose of encouragement today, knowing that it is possible to
find peace with food and find pleasure in it, but
without it being this rabbit hole where it becomes almost
like a drug like pole, so to speak, or a
feeling like an addict, Like, there is that space for
them to coexist, even if you don't believe it's possible
(13:24):
yet just giving you that encouragement that it is.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
It is, it's totally possible. Because I had those exact
same thoughts for decades. Yeah, and I was in a
place of acceptance of this is just how this is
my life, this is how it's going to be, and
this is how we operate, and so.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Let's get used to it, right, Yeah, and then becomes
yourself image and identity.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And it's just so not the case. So I know
that if I'm able to be in a different place
with it, and it just expands your world.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
It frees your brain up.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I mean, they have that saying of like, this sort
of stuff is just living in your brain rent free and.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
You deserve better. Yeah, and it's totally possible.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah, And that's why little conversations like this are helpful,
because if you're having those thoughts. I also remember thinking,
am I the only person in the world with these thoughts?
Because nobody when I was in my teens twenties, like, okay,
so in the nineties and early two thousands, nobody was
talking about binge eating. I thought, literally I was the
only person and there was so much shame around it.
(14:24):
I didn't want to talk about it. And I'm like,
why in the world did I just eat all of that?
And who do I even tell? And I'm so messed up,
something's wrong with me. And then now we know that
there's so many people that have that, But it was
coming from a place of my times of restriction, and
it was this pattern.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Absolutely, it's so isolating, and it makes us think that
we're the only one that struggles the way that we are.
And then a lot of the thoughts that came up
for me and for my clients are like, if only
they knew how crazy I was, messed up broken, fill
on the blank. And that's another I think really important,
and part of today's episode is really just letting you know,
like you're not alone, you're not crazy, you're not messed up,
(15:05):
you're not broken, you're not too far gone. You learned
what we learned, and there's a way to unlearn it
and relearn something new that sets you free but also
coexists in a world where you can enjoy life and
socializing and friends and family and food and all the
things that come alongside it. And the journey can be
a dot dot dot never ending, always evolving thing.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, So to recap, you can heal from your disordered
eating and have a healthy relationship with food, and you
can still love food, love sugar, find pleasure and joy
and food and still have food stuff that you're continually
working through.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It can all be true. Absolutely, Boom Leanne. Where can
people find you?
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Absolutely to talk more about this, learn more about this,
you can head on over to stressless eating dot com.
There's some resources over there for you to learn more.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
And I am at radio Amy on Instagram and hope
y'all are having the day that you need to have
and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Bye bye
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Mm hmm.
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Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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