Can you be happy and satisfied and feel like you've 'arrived'....AND still desire to do more, be more, have more, create more (and be absolutely unapologetic about it!)? We absolutely think so! And that's why we are here to talk about this very important distinction. These things do NOT have to cancel eachother out or stay mutually exclusive. But...there are some very important distinctions that you want to keep in mind--- especially since there are a lot of mixed messages out there about this topic.
Amy & Leanne are back again for the EIGHTH episode of the Mini-Series Two Things Can Be True At The Same Time (Normalizing the In-Betweens and Healing From Extremism) where they share their thoughts and takeaways on how you can have BOTH: You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've 'arrived'....AND still desire to do more, be more, have more, create more (and be absolutely unapologetic about it!)
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
I feel free. I know every part of me is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it,
but you are She'll some love to the vid.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day? Anita? Did you
and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No,
all right, Part eight of two things can be true
at the same time the final part, We're finally here.
You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've
arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more,
create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all
(01:00):
about what you want and dig into that and we
want to see that happen. And it makes me think
of our conversation last week in the mountain YEP, like
reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here,
I am world and you can be there, and like
last week, you may go back down the mountain some
(01:20):
and that is also okay. It doesn't mean you're not
working hard, doesn't mean you haven't evolved, you're not in
the process of evolving.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
But also now.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top
and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like
can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what
we're saying here.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
With this is yes, I see this happen a lot,
and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't
mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns
more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing,
but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they
want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of
gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I
(02:03):
shouldn't ask for more.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
This makes you think of the Barbie monologue.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Have you seen it?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text,
I need to go see it.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't
want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue,
because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read
it in a second because it's it's exactly what you're
saying for when it comes to women.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all,
we talked last week about there is no real arrival
because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like
you you overcome one mountain.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Have you seen those memes.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Where it's like I went on a hike and I
thought we got to the top of the mountain, and
then I looked there was like another peak another I'm
totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when
I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to
the top, and I'm like, oh there's another. This is
just the bottom of the next one, you know, And
so really acknowledging that there's it's never just this end
all be all thing, like opening your mind to the
(02:54):
expectation and transforming your expectations of like, this is life
and I'm always growing and evolving. If you're on this
growing and evolving journey, which if you're listening to this,
you are right, Let's be honest, You're always going to
be looking for the next thing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And so part of it is like, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Have that gratitude, be so appreciative of where you are.
Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me, like with my
food freedom and the freedom that I have in my body,
which is still also always evolving. I have great gratitude
for where I am, and yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Want even more freedom. I want even more peace in
my body.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I want even more of the ability to wake up
and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to
change my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, I want more of that.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So be grateful for where you are, but also be
eager for the next level.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But that also goes for your career.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We talked about on the first two things can be
true at the same time. You can find healing and
then also say, you know what, I want to take
my body to the next level. I want to see
how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get,
how great at an activity or sport I can get.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize,
you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.
You're like all the way like, I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Whatever I want.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
I don't need to have goals.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
If I have goals, that's bad, Like I shouldn't care
about my body. I just eat the oreos, you know,
and then it swings the other way and levels it
levels off. But I loved that first episode about you know,
being pro body image and being aware of that, but
also giving yourself the permission to absolutely have health goals
if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah, that was
(04:27):
the first part one of this. If y'all didn't hear it,
you can go back and listen to it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Did you find the quote you look like you have
a the monologue? Yeah, I have it. Okay, I could
see it in your eyes.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because
I as far as like, oh, I don't want to
ruin this part of the movie. Alert if you want
to see it and you don't want to hear it
from me, then okay, pause this really quick.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
But this is so good, Like I.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Would go see the movie again just to see America
Ferrera do this, although I'm sure I could like google
that clip or something.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Here it is written now.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
America Frere's Barbie monologue read by Amy.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
It is literally impossible to be a woman.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills
me that you don't think you're good enough. Like we
have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing
it wrong. You have to be thin but not too thin,
and you can never say you want to be thin,
you have to say you want to be healthy, but
also you have to be thin. You have to have money,
(05:26):
but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You
have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk
about your kids all the damn time. You have to
be a career woman, but also always be looking out
for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior,
which is insane, but if you point that out, you're
(05:48):
accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men,
but not so pretty that you tempt them too much,
or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to
be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out
and always be grateful, but never forget that the system
is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that, but
(06:08):
also always be grateful. You have to never get old,
never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never
fall down, never fail, never show fear. Never get out
of line. It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody
gives you a medal or says thank you, and it
turns out, in fact that not only are you doing
everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I'm just
(06:31):
so tired of watching myself and every single other woman
tie herself into noughts.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
So that people will like us.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
And if all of that is also true for a
doll just representing women, then I don't even know.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Wow, I was good.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So I'm so good, so true, and such a topic
to explore, because again we don't want to buy into
like this is how it always is, but like, unfortunately,
this is the reality as it's kind of presented to us.
So that's why I think copics like today are so important,
Like you can have both, and I mean it goes
for the air quotes negative side of things too. I'll
(07:09):
have clients come to me and be like, listen, I
don't want to sound ungrateful. I have great parents, but
and they have some sort of emotional wound or emotional
need that didn't get filled. And part of it is
I'm like, you're allowed to say, like, I have amazing
parents and they didn't know what they didn't know, and
there's something in me as an adult that I need
to figure out. And it doesn't mean that they're bad
parents or that you're not grateful for the upbringing that
(07:30):
you had. So it can go in so many different directions.
But yeah, I think when we live in these worlds
of extremism of like you can't be too thin, you
can't be to not thin, you can't talk about being thin,
you can't talk about being rich, you can't all these
like labels, and they're just words. They really are just words, right,
and words only have the power of the meaning.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
That we give them.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
When it's like, okay, screw all that, right, Like we
write our own story and yes, be grateful, yes, like
like find things to be appreciative about, but also give
yourself permission to let your her dreams come true and
to explore, like what do I really want and what
would make me happy? And not just what I think
looks good in society. You're on my Instagram feed, but
(08:09):
like what do I really want?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think a lot of people that's like where people
change careers. When you see those stories of like she,
you know, became I saw one the other day. She's
like she became a personal trainer when she was seventy,
you know, and she's like squatting three hundred pounds like that,
that's not my dream, but you go girl, right or
you know, I know my mom when when we all
graduated from college, she went back and got her interior
design degree.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She wasn't necessarily.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Planning on using it, but she she did end up
using it, but she just wanted to do it for her,
you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life
that you have and be grateful for it, but don't
apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's what we're really trying to say.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd
like to meet a man that does it. Like, if
you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money,
wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail
me yeah, or we're doing.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
To study halla.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We want to hear from you, because when that monologue
was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm,
I wonder how man't even feel this way? And I'm
sure there are some and it also too. I want
to say this that I know the two things can
be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and
you can want more, and you're allowed to want more,
(09:23):
but we're not saying you should want more. Right, you
maybe have arrived and you're like, this is good for me,
but that the challenge would be like, is this really
good for you? Or are you conforming to the ways
in which we've been hard right hardwired to sort of
accept that, well, this is as far as I go,
(09:45):
and I'm cool with that because I never saw myself
even coming this far.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
So I'm thankful right totally.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in
a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I
shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more,
or this is.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
As good as it gets.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
As another form of that too, we're kind of telling
ourselves like, no, I'm just grateful for what I have
and it almost limits us. And when you said, like,
show me a guy that has these limitations in their
mind what came up for me is lives like it
shows us that this is all in our heads. These
limitations live within our own perception of like, who the
heck am I to have the right to ask for
what I want? To put that stake in the ground,
(10:24):
and it really is a limitation in our own mind.
And I do it, I know you do, like we
all do it. But that's where it's one of those
things we're creating an awareness of, Like it doesn't have
to be so, and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant,
cattie whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since
this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating
outweighs everything.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
But I think we can.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
This conversation is more so about a bigger picture of
like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of
having more space in my brain. Yes, because when you're
in the throes of it all, you're literally trying to
make yourself small. But you are making yourself small in
always likely even at your career, likely even in your
(11:11):
home or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink
yourself and it's happening inside your brain too, and that
can be very limiting. So when you have arrived in
a sense to that healing place, you realize all this
brain space you now have and it's like, okay, now what.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Do I want to do with it?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And again, it may be that you're cool content you
don't have the bandwidth for whatever else. But also the
question would be, Okay, what do I want to do
with this new freed up space in my brain?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Totally, I think.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Knowing where you are and having that inner intuition of
the season that you're in. So for example, when you
air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good about something,
knowing like, hey, I actually want to just stay put
right here and I want to tread water. I want
to just you know, live in this easy, breezy kind
of way of thinking right now, or way of being
or whatever it is right now. But because I'm choosing it,
(12:08):
not because I don't think I can have more, or
not because I think I should set the next level
goal because somebody else has expectations of me. It's like
knowing what you're doing and why you're doing it and
where it's coming from. But treading water is a beautiful
strategy sometimes, right sometimes we need to just tread water.
And it's about knowing that the next level is there
(12:29):
when we're ready for it, but having that wisdom and
discernment to know when it's time.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah,
and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not
cluttered right with all the other thoughts that take over.
And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing
where you want to go with it next, because I
think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food
and all of that, we don't even know our career goals.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental
real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of
what this is too. It's like invite And we said
this a few episodes ago, like what if your body
and your weight and what you're eating is the.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Least interesting thing about you?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, because you're so much more and then you that
creates space of like, well, what else is interesting about me?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Oh? I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy
and capable, or I have something to say, or I'm
such a great friend or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow
myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself
to four things.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Amen, three things.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I loved my body. I love going dancing and
paddleboarding and whatever. And when I'm not shaming it.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I could actually go spend myself my time doing that,
you know. So there's so much more outside of this,
but again giving you compassion and grace if you're in
it because you don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's why Outweigh exists.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
All right, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn
how to break out of your own food and body
and shame prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless
Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and radiome
dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series, but
Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh.
As you can tell that transition has sort of happened.
It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the
next right thing and Leanne joining as co host here
(14:19):
was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa
in twenty twenty. Lisa Ham and she's a registered dietitian
that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
She has a podcast called The Truthist Life.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
She's evolved so much in the last few years and
she unapologetically has evolved and I love following her on
Instagram and she's she's real over there. She's like, my
content is totally different than what it was. If you
started following me a few years ago, and you're not
into this, okay, well I get it. You're probably gonna
unfollow me, and that is okay because I'm gonna just
you know who I am who I am. And she's
(14:51):
someone that is constantly evolving and has She's probably arrived
multiple times. She's arrived, but then there's been a pivot
and then she's a evolved and then arrived and then
evolved and then arrived and so that's been cool to
see with her, and you know, outweigh, I just felt
very comfortable with Leanne and love her expertise and she
(15:11):
is so passionate about helping others and knowledgeable. So thank
you Leanne for joining us co host and pleasure. Yeah,
we'll see y'all next Saturday. Bye bye
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
I feel free. I know every part of me is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it,
but you are She'll some love to the vid.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day? Anita? Did you
and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No,
all right, Part eight of two things can be true
at the same time the final part, We're finally here.
You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've
arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more,
create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all
(01:00):
about what you want and dig into that and we
want to see that happen. And it makes me think
of our conversation last week in the mountain YEP, like
reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here,
I am world and you can be there, and like
last week, you may go back down the mountain some
(01:20):
and that is also okay. It doesn't mean you're not
working hard, doesn't mean you haven't evolved, you're not in
the process of evolving.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
But also now.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top
and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like
can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what
we're saying here.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
With this is yes, I see this happen a lot,
and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't
mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns
more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing,
but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they
want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of
gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I
(02:03):
shouldn't ask for more.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
This makes you think of the Barbie monologue.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Have you seen it?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text,
I need to go see it.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't
want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue,
because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read
it in a second because it's it's exactly what you're
saying for when it comes to women.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all,
we talked last week about there is no real arrival
because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like
you you overcome one mountain.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Have you seen those memes.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Where it's like I went on a hike and I
thought we got to the top of the mountain, and
then I looked there was like another peak another I'm
totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when
I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to
the top, and I'm like, oh there's another. This is
just the bottom of the next one, you know, And
so really acknowledging that there's it's never just this end
all be all thing, like opening your mind to the
(02:54):
expectation and transforming your expectations of like, this is life
and I'm always growing and evolving. If you're on this
growing and evolving journey, which if you're listening to this,
you are right, Let's be honest, You're always going to
be looking for the next thing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And so part of it is like, yes.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Have that gratitude, be so appreciative of where you are.
Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me, like with my
food freedom and the freedom that I have in my body,
which is still also always evolving. I have great gratitude
for where I am, and yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Want even more freedom. I want even more peace in
my body.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I want even more of the ability to wake up
and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to
change my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, I want more of that.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So be grateful for where you are, but also be
eager for the next level.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But that also goes for your career.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We talked about on the first two things can be
true at the same time. You can find healing and
then also say, you know what, I want to take
my body to the next level. I want to see
how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get,
how great at an activity or sport I can get.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize,
you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.
You're like all the way like, I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Whatever I want.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
I don't need to have goals.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
If I have goals, that's bad, Like I shouldn't care
about my body. I just eat the oreos, you know,
and then it swings the other way and levels it
levels off. But I loved that first episode about you know,
being pro body image and being aware of that, but
also giving yourself the permission to absolutely have health goals
if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah, that was
(04:27):
the first part one of this. If y'all didn't hear it,
you can go back and listen to it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Did you find the quote you look like you have
a the monologue? Yeah, I have it. Okay, I could
see it in your eyes.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because
I as far as like, oh, I don't want to
ruin this part of the movie. Alert if you want
to see it and you don't want to hear it
from me, then okay, pause this really quick.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
But this is so good, Like I.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Would go see the movie again just to see America
Ferrera do this, although I'm sure I could like google
that clip or something.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Here it is written now.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
America Frere's Barbie monologue read by Amy.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
It is literally impossible to be a woman.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills
me that you don't think you're good enough. Like we
have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing
it wrong. You have to be thin but not too thin,
and you can never say you want to be thin,
you have to say you want to be healthy, but
also you have to be thin. You have to have money,
(05:26):
but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You
have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk
about your kids all the damn time. You have to
be a career woman, but also always be looking out
for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior,
which is insane, but if you point that out, you're
(05:48):
accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men,
but not so pretty that you tempt them too much,
or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to
be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out
and always be grateful, but never forget that the system
is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that, but
(06:08):
also always be grateful. You have to never get old,
never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never
fall down, never fail, never show fear. Never get out
of line. It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody
gives you a medal or says thank you, and it
turns out, in fact that not only are you doing
everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I'm just
(06:31):
so tired of watching myself and every single other woman
tie herself into noughts.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
So that people will like us.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
And if all of that is also true for a
doll just representing women, then I don't even know.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Wow, I was good.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
So I'm so good, so true, and such a topic
to explore, because again we don't want to buy into
like this is how it always is, but like, unfortunately,
this is the reality as it's kind of presented to us.
So that's why I think copics like today are so important,
Like you can have both, and I mean it goes
for the air quotes negative side of things too. I'll
(07:09):
have clients come to me and be like, listen, I
don't want to sound ungrateful. I have great parents, but
and they have some sort of emotional wound or emotional
need that didn't get filled. And part of it is
I'm like, you're allowed to say, like, I have amazing
parents and they didn't know what they didn't know, and
there's something in me as an adult that I need
to figure out. And it doesn't mean that they're bad
parents or that you're not grateful for the upbringing that
(07:30):
you had. So it can go in so many different directions.
But yeah, I think when we live in these worlds
of extremism of like you can't be too thin, you
can't be to not thin, you can't talk about being thin,
you can't talk about being rich, you can't all these
like labels, and they're just words. They really are just words, right,
and words only have the power of the meaning.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
That we give them.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
When it's like, okay, screw all that, right, Like we
write our own story and yes, be grateful, yes, like
like find things to be appreciative about, but also give
yourself permission to let your her dreams come true and
to explore, like what do I really want and what
would make me happy? And not just what I think
looks good in society. You're on my Instagram feed, but
(08:09):
like what do I really want?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think a lot of people that's like where people
change careers. When you see those stories of like she,
you know, became I saw one the other day. She's
like she became a personal trainer when she was seventy,
you know, and she's like squatting three hundred pounds like that,
that's not my dream, but you go girl, right or
you know, I know my mom when when we all
graduated from college, she went back and got her interior
design degree.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She wasn't necessarily.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Planning on using it, but she she did end up
using it, but she just wanted to do it for her,
you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life
that you have and be grateful for it, but don't
apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's what we're really trying to say.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd
like to meet a man that does it. Like, if
you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money,
wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail
me yeah, or we're doing.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
To study halla.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We want to hear from you, because when that monologue
was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm,
I wonder how man't even feel this way? And I'm
sure there are some and it also too. I want
to say this that I know the two things can
be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and
you can want more, and you're allowed to want more,
(09:23):
but we're not saying you should want more. Right, you
maybe have arrived and you're like, this is good for me,
but that the challenge would be like, is this really
good for you? Or are you conforming to the ways
in which we've been hard right hardwired to sort of
accept that, well, this is as far as I go,
(09:45):
and I'm cool with that because I never saw myself
even coming this far.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
So I'm thankful right totally.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in
a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I
shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more,
or this is.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
As good as it gets.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
As another form of that too, we're kind of telling
ourselves like, no, I'm just grateful for what I have
and it almost limits us. And when you said, like,
show me a guy that has these limitations in their
mind what came up for me is lives like it
shows us that this is all in our heads. These
limitations live within our own perception of like, who the
heck am I to have the right to ask for
what I want? To put that stake in the ground,
(10:24):
and it really is a limitation in our own mind.
And I do it, I know you do, like we
all do it. But that's where it's one of those
things we're creating an awareness of, Like it doesn't have
to be so, and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant,
cattie whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since
this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating
outweighs everything.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
But I think we can.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
This conversation is more so about a bigger picture of
like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of
having more space in my brain. Yes, because when you're
in the throes of it all, you're literally trying to
make yourself small. But you are making yourself small in
always likely even at your career, likely even in your
(11:11):
home or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink
yourself and it's happening inside your brain too, and that
can be very limiting. So when you have arrived in
a sense to that healing place, you realize all this
brain space you now have and it's like, okay, now what.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Do I want to do with it?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And again, it may be that you're cool content you
don't have the bandwidth for whatever else. But also the
question would be, Okay, what do I want to do
with this new freed up space in my brain?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Totally, I think.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Knowing where you are and having that inner intuition of
the season that you're in. So for example, when you
air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good about something,
knowing like, hey, I actually want to just stay put
right here and I want to tread water. I want
to just you know, live in this easy, breezy kind
of way of thinking right now, or way of being
or whatever it is right now. But because I'm choosing it,
(12:08):
not because I don't think I can have more, or
not because I think I should set the next level
goal because somebody else has expectations of me. It's like
knowing what you're doing and why you're doing it and
where it's coming from. But treading water is a beautiful
strategy sometimes, right sometimes we need to just tread water.
And it's about knowing that the next level is there
(12:29):
when we're ready for it, but having that wisdom and
discernment to know when it's time.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah,
and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not
cluttered right with all the other thoughts that take over.
And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing
where you want to go with it next, because I
think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food
and all of that, we don't even know our career goals.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental
real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of
what this is too. It's like invite And we said
this a few episodes ago, like what if your body
and your weight and what you're eating is the.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Least interesting thing about you?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Yeah, because you're so much more and then you that
creates space of like, well, what else is interesting about me?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Oh? I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy
and capable, or I have something to say, or I'm
such a great friend or whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow
myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself
to four things.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Amen, three things.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I loved my body. I love going dancing and
paddleboarding and whatever. And when I'm not shaming it.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I could actually go spend myself my time doing that,
you know. So there's so much more outside of this,
but again giving you compassion and grace if you're in
it because you don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's why Outweigh exists.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
All right, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn
how to break out of your own food and body
and shame prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless
Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and radiome
dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series, but
Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh.
As you can tell that transition has sort of happened.
It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the
next right thing and Leanne joining as co host here
(14:19):
was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa
in twenty twenty. Lisa Ham and she's a registered dietitian
that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
She has a podcast called The Truthist Life.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
She's evolved so much in the last few years and
she unapologetically has evolved and I love following her on
Instagram and she's she's real over there. She's like, my
content is totally different than what it was. If you
started following me a few years ago, and you're not
into this, okay, well I get it. You're probably gonna
unfollow me, and that is okay because I'm gonna just
you know who I am who I am. And she's
(14:51):
someone that is constantly evolving and has She's probably arrived
multiple times. She's arrived, but then there's been a pivot
and then she's a evolved and then arrived and then
evolved and then arrived and so that's been cool to
see with her, and you know, outweigh, I just felt
very comfortable with Leanne and love her expertise and she
(15:11):
is so passionate about helping others and knowledgeable. So thank
you Leanne for joining us co host and pleasure. Yeah,
we'll see y'all next Saturday. Bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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