Accepting Constructive Criticism

Welcome back to Season 3 of the Overcomfort Podcast! For our first episode I want to talk about accepting and learning constructive criticism and how beneficial it is for your life when you stop seeing it as a personal attack.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome back to The Overcomfort Podcast. Season three has officially started.
I am your host, Jennaka Lopez. Thank you guys so
much for choosing to watch and listen to season three
of The Overcomfort Podcast. I am so grateful, I am
so excited. There's so much to look forward to in
this season. If you guys are watching, we have a

(00:26):
new set. Absolutely love it. Let me know what you
guys think, and if you guys are listening, thank you
guys so much again for taking the time to listen
and to be here. I'm super excited. I have taken
a good amount of time off to be able to
center myself, to be able to find myself again. I
definitely loved last season, but I do want to make

(00:49):
a shift this season. As you can tell the whole
new set, there's a whole new vibe, and I come
with so much love and so much excitement. As you
guys can see at the title of this video, I
definitely do want to talk about what I've learned in
this time from last season to the season. I know
it's only been like a couple weeks months maybe, but

(01:11):
I definitely have learned so much about myself and about
how I manage certain things. And I think one of
the biggest things I learned in this period is how
to take constructive criticism and also voicing, being able to
voice my own opinion. As I normally start a new

(01:37):
season or end of ending a season, I always like
to know what you guys like, what you don't like,
what is your least favorite thing about the podcast? What
is your favorite thing? And it has been for those
watching a different set, great, I agree changed it. I
loved the old one, but I'm in love with this one.

(01:59):
Certain things where people, let's say, comment sections or have
reached out to me and said hey, let's do this
or do that, and I would see it and I
learned to see it as something that can improve. And
I used to not be able to do that. I
always used to see things like, oh, they're just picking
at me, and as a perfectionist, and I don't know,

(02:21):
I'm sure there's people that are perfectionists watching this too.
It's hard because it comes as a personal attack and
it feels like like it's just like it's just something
towards your character and it realistically not. And I've had
to learn that during this time as well, like understanding
the difference. Okay, you can give your opinion, but also

(02:46):
respect mine and taking things in and learning that you
don't always have to listen to what people say, but
also know that it isn't a personal attack. It isn't
to attack your character. It's so that it can help
you grow. People do things to help you grow. It's
not what you say, it's how you say it. And
I feel like that's important when you give constructive criticism

(03:07):
and when you're taking advice as well. And I feel
like as you mature and grow, you kind of learn
how to speak, how to understand that person, and how
to get through to that person. And I've had to
set those boundaries with people, and I feel like boundaries
are super super important and helpful in any relationship where

(03:30):
you know, Okay, now when people come up to me
and be like, hey, can I can I tell you something?
I want to tell you something about the podcast or
I want to tell you something about how I feel.
I mentally am I am prepared and I'm mature enough
to understand like, Okay, they want to express their feelings
to me. They're not attacking me, but they're going to

(03:50):
express their feelings to me. In an also a mature way.
And then there's people that don't. There's people that just yell,
there's people that just don't understand it. And I'm bringing
this all up because when I ended the last season,
someone had called the podcast boring and unstructured, and I
had the opportunity to talk to that person one on

(04:12):
one and understand where she was coming from, and I
took it in. I completely take it in. I take
anything that has to do with my business or even
my personal life with limitations of you know, if you
guys have opinions on my personal life, where you have
constructive criticism on my personal life, I will take it
with a grain of salt. And you know, but when

(04:34):
it comes to work, I can see that because she
was a consumer, She's someone that watches the podcast. She's
someone that would love to continue to watch the podcast
if there was changes made. And I love that. I
absolutely love that. And another examples in friendships as well.
There's I just had a conversation with a friend the
other day where I made her feel a certain way,

(04:57):
but she was able to tell me, look, this is
another way that I could it could be better. This
is how our friendship could be better, and I feel
like that's what's most important, is having communication and being
able to confront those things and not being sensitive to
it and not being hurt by it. It's having a
good head on your shoulders and being able to understand

(05:18):
where that person is coming from. And what I also
feel like I've learned to appreciate in this time, in
these last couple of weeks, in the last two months,
is understanding who I am and where my value and
my vision is when it comes to my personal things,
when it comes to my brand, when it comes to
my home, and how much I want people to let in.

(05:40):
And this is in general as well, and I hope
that everybody can understand this as well. There's like a saying,
you only allow power to people as much as you
give it to them. I think that's how it is.
So what that means is like, I'm only going to
let you only allow people to do as much as
you give them, to give them the space too. And

(06:01):
I've learned to cut that space or to allow that
power to be able for people to be able to
tell me what to do and understand how they mean it.
You know, I want to take that power back for myself.
I want to take that power and say that I
was able to do this with also the help of

(06:24):
other people, but take my power back and be genuine
and real to myself and not just to what that
person is saying. And I don't know if you have
a specific person in your life where it's like, Okay,
I don't really understand you, but I want to be

(06:44):
able to understand you. Can we talk about it? And
I feel like this all goes back to communication. It
goes back to how you express yourself, to what you
say and how you say it. And I used to
be a very hard person. I would used to be
a person that hated confrontation. I hate when people told
me what they thought or what they felt or their
opinions or like I felt like I was big boss

(07:06):
and that I can do it on my own or whatever.
But it's no, you can't get going or along in
life if you don't allow people to be able to
tell you what they're thinking, you're feeling in the correct way.
And again, it's all about communication. It's all about what
people are saying, how you say it, and how you
want people to understand you and perceive you. And it's

(07:29):
all about just having a good conversation. I feel like
people relationships would be a lot better if they just
communicated better, if you were able to hold a conversation
and if you guys were on the same maturity level
to be able to express like, hey, this is what's
bothering me. And this is kind of more going into
friendships and more relationships versus constructive criticism, which they both

(07:52):
kind of go hand in hand. It's more about opinions.
At the end of the day, you have to have
a good circle around you, people that want to do
good for you, that want nothing but the best for you,
that aren't gonna hold you back, that are gonna accept
you in all areas of your life, in every area.

(08:12):
It's not just oh I don't really like this, I
won't be your friend. No, it's like you have to
love me and accept me for what I am, and
if not, then that's okay. There's times and seasons. Everybody's
meant to be in your life for a time and season,
and it's up to you how much space and power
you allow those people to be in your life. And

(08:35):
if it's coming to a point where it's like, okay,
this is too much, this is happening way too many times,
you know, et cetera, et cetera. Then maybe pray on it,
think about it, and ask God to give you a
vision or a sign or to just help you navigate
those relationships. We're gonna go on break and we will

(08:56):
be right back. Are you guys, Welcome back after that
little venting spiel session. I hope I made sense and
I hope that you guys can connect with it. But
at the end of the day, I feel like, no
matter what, people will always have good Not everybody has
good intentions for you, not not everybody, but the people's
closest to you. Even then, you got to figure out

(09:18):
your relationships. But it's really taking it in and applying
and considering it. You know. I'll go back to when
I was asking you guys for comments. Let me know
what you guys like, what you guys don't like about
the podcast. A lot of you guys had said about
the set. Great set change then structure wise, and I

(09:39):
promise you the structure and new guests are going to
be a lot better. I completely see it. I saw
it from your guys' point of view. I hear it,
I visualize it, and there's nothing more than I love
than to do the podcast and to be able to
connect with people and to be able to share that
with you guys. I want to be able to provide
value in every area of my life, not just the podcast.

(10:01):
I want to be a person of value, that kid
that can be like dang, like you know what, she
did something good and she did something right, not just
for herself but for everybody else as well. So I
hope with anything in this season of the podcast that
you guys can hear my voice, you can hear my heart,
you can see it. And also with the guests that

(10:23):
I invite or even solo episodes, you know, there's things
that I would like to vent about and to share
with you guys. So there will be a little bit
more solo episodes this season. I know you guys like those.
But with the guest, they have stories, they have things
that have happened, and I know that there's people that
connect somehow, some way, and maybe not everybody's gonna agree,

(10:46):
and that's okay. I'm a totally I'm a person that
is okay that I'm not going to be everyone's favorite person,
and maybe the people that I bring on won't be
your favorite people. And that's okay. That is okay. Also,
I want you guys to know that no matter what,
there's always going to be a story and a vision
behind who I invite, and I want you guys to

(11:08):
let me know as well. I want to invite people
with against stories and people that are relatable and that
you guys can connect with too. So if there's any doctors, lawyers,
small businesses, any person like it could be anything that
want to come and enjoy in the podcast and be
able to share what they have on their heart, how

(11:29):
they've lived their lives, please please, please let me know.
I would love to hear your story and to be
able to connect with you guys and to see your
vision as well. Overall, I'm super excited for this season.
I'm super excited. I have a good head on my
shoulders when it comes to this season, and I did

(11:51):
in the last season, but I definitely feel like this
one there's a shift, there's a difference, and I hope
that you guys can hear it and feel it as well.
And I definitely if anything, if there's anything that I
want you guys to take from this episode is to
have an open heart and mind, having an hope having
an open mind and heart, heart and mind to absolutely

(12:15):
anything and not everything is an attack. Not everything is
going to be perfect. And understanding that it's okay to
hear no sometimes or for someone to tell you something
that you may not want to hear. It will always
benefit you in the end. Okay, no matter what it is,

(12:38):
you learn something, You're gonna learn something from something. No
matter what, like whatever experience, you're gonna learn something. And
I hope that it could be taken well and know
that you guys have my heart. I'm super excited for
this season. I'm super excited for what you guys have
to say and that we can all grow together. I think,

(12:58):
more than any think, I want to grow. Oh. I
want to be able to grow with you guys and
to grow this podcast to its fullest potential. With that
being said, I'm excited to roll out these next couple
episodes that we have filmed. I have so many exciting
guests that I love and that are close to me.
Some people that aren't, people that are inspirational. We have

(13:21):
business owners, we have people that I have no idea
who they are. I'm just really really excited that you
guys will be able to get to hear and listen
to these stories. So I will see you guys next Tuesday.
Make sure you guys like, comment, subscribe, review the podcast,

(13:42):
leave a star, any little comment you guys want. I'm here,
I'm reading. This isn't just my podcast, this is our podcast.
So let's join. Let's get on this journey together, and
I will see you guys next Tuesday. Right Overcome for
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