December 17, 2024 • 45 mins
This episode is for my inner child and all my thick plus size girls who have trouble dating or need to vent about the dating world! Espi Chavez, influencer, podcast host, plus size advocate, fashionista, beautiful and my new friend, shares her story, traumas, and journey. Our connection to each other was insane and we hope to reach anyone with similar experiences of personal image, weight, anxiety, disorders and family problems. We get real and vulnerable in this one.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome back to the Overcover podcast. I am your hosst Jennica.
Thank you guys so much for choosing to watch and
listen to this episode today. I am excited because we're
going to have a cute little girl chat with Miss
s speech Halls. If you guys don't know who she is,
I've found her and been obsessed with her on TikTok
(00:26):
and all her social media because she just gets me.
She asks the questions that plus sized women need to
ask or like that just want to know. And there
was just this one. There's been a couple of tiktoks, which,
by the way, thank you so much for joining now.
I think so happy, so grateful. I'm grateful. I wanted
(00:46):
to talk to you because I love what you do
on your platform and I want to be able to
put more light to it because I do feel like
a lot of plus sized girls. As someone who's been
plus sized her whole life, I don't care how much
weight I lose or whatever. I'm I'm a plus sized
girlly at heart. I've been trugging my whole life, so
dating was always an issue right right, And I love
that you put light and you're so unashamed like to
(01:09):
go ahead and ask these guys because I wouldn't be
able to do it, Like it's crazy. She'll go on
TikTok or show make videos likes her content, like would
you ever date a plus size girl?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Why?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Or why not? What made you start doing that?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah? Well, first I want to say thank you so
much for having me, and I'm so happy to hear
that you enjoy the content and like it's something that
like you saw on your for you page and you
were so interested in, like intrigued to check out. But yeah,
that's literally the exact reason why I started doing that
type of content, because I really am a true, firm
believer that the most value comes from like the most
(01:44):
uncomfortable conversations. I agree, and especially when it comes to
like plus sized dating or being kind of like a
voice for curby girls. Like I feel like a lot
of girls, especially girls that look like me and you
and stuff growing up, they think or they don't put
them out there to start dating because they have the
assumption of like, oh, what if he thinks that I'm
(02:05):
bigger in person and he doesn't like me, I'm ashamed
because of X Y and Z or I'm nervous to
like go out and meet guys because it's like where
would I find the confidence and stuff. But the primary
reason why I started the videos is to show girls
that like it doesn't matter, like there is a lot
of guys out there that are one hundred percent just
don't care you know what size you are, But also
(02:28):
not to sugarcoat that there is still very much plus
size discrimination that does absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I feel like even in a fashion and a lot
of things, like no matter how much we talk about it,
I feel like it's still not inclusive. And it makes
me sad because I do remember like having those feelings
like growing up and even to this day, Like you know,
I've always had body dysmorphia. I've always had I've always struggled,
(02:58):
like damn, like and my two am I too thick
for a guy to like get with me? Because I
was I've been single for a very long time, you know,
So it messes with your head obviously, like with time
and therapy and like it gets better and like, you know,
I know who I am and I'm very confident and
I love myself. I love my body. But growing up,
(03:18):
it was a bitch, Like it was like even to
this day, and I know like how hard it is,
even like in fitting rooms. Like I was with a
friend the other day and I was just like, dude,
like I hated going to the mall. Yeah, hated shopping.
I hated going with my friends, like knowing that I
know I wasn't gonna find anything there. Did you have
(03:40):
any similar experiences like that?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
No, one thousand percent. I'm so glad that you brought
it up, because it's like going to the mall ever
since I was a little girl. I don't know how
it was for you, but it was never necessarily a
fun experience. But I remember wanting to have those fun
experiences with like friends, girlfriends, even maybe like if you're
on a date with the guy, like I always.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, it's like okay, sorry to cut you out because
I had a thought. But it's like I always thought
about like am I gonna fit like in his hoodies? Yeah,
like I would never be able to get one of
his hoodies because like what if I don't fit like whatever?
Like so it's like little things like that, and I
don't think people really take that into consideration.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, they don't. And I've had those experiences where I'm
on a date with a guy and it's chilly, and
I don't necessarily have like the warness of jacket, and
he's like, hey, like, do you want to borrow my
flanne or do you want to borrow my jacket? And
I want to, but I'm always like should I embarrass
myself right now? Or should I not? Like what if
it doesn't fit? But luckily I did squeeze into it.
It was a little tight.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But I did it. No, but it's even then, it's
still cute. You want to have like those experiences and stuff.
Exactly how is dating for you now? Like, let's say
we're in twenty twenty four, like it gets it's a
little how old are you, by the way, twenty four?
Twenty four? Okay, twenty seven a little right there. Yeah,
(05:05):
so you know, guys our age are just.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, I know, okay, So I'm twenty four and to
be completely transparent, I don't know about you, but I've
never really been in a serious long term relationship. I've been,
of course, I've been dating guys, but like not enough
where I feel like I could constantly say like, yes,
this was my this is my boyfriend, you know what
I mean? So I wouldn't necessarily say that I have
(05:28):
an ex because I don't feel like none of them
have been worthy of that title. There you go, but yes,
not gonna lie. Just like you, I feel like still
to this day, it is pretty difficult, and I feel
like dating in this generation is hard enough as it
is no matter what body size you are. But as
a curby girl, yeah, as a curby girl, it could
(05:49):
be sometimes ten times or harder. But that doesn't mean
that it's necessarily so much because of your size. Sometimes
it could be like an US issue where I know,
for me still to this day, you mentioned like having
or struggling with a little bit of body dysmorphia. Yeah,
I totally relate to that. Like some days I look
in the mirror and I feel like I look ten
(06:09):
times bigger than I actually am, or sometimes look in
the mirror and I feel like for some reason I'm
smaller it on a specific day. I don't know if
you've ever felt, yes, and then.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You on that specific day you're like, I just ate
like pretty bad, Like do I look like you know
what I mean? Like you question everything which is and
I'm being very fully transparent and honest because these are
thoughts that happen every day, and it's like, I feel
like you have to have a good, confident man who
can also make you feel beautiful exactly like you already
(06:41):
feel beautiful, right, But it's like I want you to
like love me, like you know, like I'm I'm I'm
I'm a prize. We're prizes at the end of the day.
And it's like even when we have those thoughts or
have those moments of doubt and just like it's like
I remind me and it's and I'm not saying I'm
saying dating specifically, and it doesn't have to be a
(07:02):
guy that does that, like for you, you know, but
we're talking about dating and it's like this is what
I would love, I would love like you know. Yeah,
And I've only to be honest, I've only been in one,
seri one one very serious. I know. I'm like, do
they get the title or not exactly no, but I've
(07:23):
only been in one very serious relationship too, and it
was with the girl only and that and that's it.
And now I'm like dating guys or whatever. But even then,
it's like it gets complicated, it's too complicated. Yeah, and
I'm not even talking about you know, sizes or whatever.
But it is like today's world, I feel like the
guys are so whack. Yeah, like the communication, the maturity,
(07:47):
and it's like if like I feel like us women
have a lot of way more emotional maturity this right, yes, intelligence.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
And to kind of to kind of go on to
what to kind of go on, Like on the topic
of the body dysmorpha, I feel like sometimes because when
I have those days and I'm struggling and stuff, sometimes
that could bleed into our relationships with others because maybe
our relationship with ourselves aren't isn't the best, and it's
like it's I don't know about you, but it's like
(08:18):
a constant rollercoaster where some days or some weeks or
months like I'm super com amazing, but then I have like,
of course, like those months where it's just like you
have to make sure you have a positive relationship with
yourself in order to have one with someone.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It all starts with you. Absolutely, I feel like it
all starts within your heart. And you know, baby girl,
if you plus size, we're we're getting men Like it's
we're absolutely we're the prize. I don't want it to
be any discouragement. I feel like, again it starts within
and how you feel. I don't know, I've I know
(08:53):
you have your podcasts and stuff. What are some tips
that you can give or that you have given for
plus sized dating or just girls in general.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I know I feel like dating, like I said, is
so hard nowadays. But I feel like, like I just mentioned,
making sure to work on yourself every single day self
reflect journal, because the more you work on yourself, the
more that you you know, kind of do the absolute
best you can to be the best version of yourself possible.
(09:23):
That's of course going to like spread onto your partner.
And I truly do believe that you are what you attract.
So I don't know if you're into like manifestation or spirituality,
but as someone that like grew up the believer of
like the law of attraction, for example, I think that
does that does like reflect a lot within like your relationship.
(09:43):
So as long as you're someone that's working on yourself.
And I don't mean working on yourself in terms of
like your body or looking your best physically, but I
mean like truly inner like work that I feel like
is super important, and I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Think all the rest falls or goes along with it
as the time goes, you know, like taking care of
our bodies. You could go to the gym the moment
I get out, okay, okay, good. I always not. I
always go by this quote you never regret your workout
because it's true, and it's for some people and some not.
For me, for my mental health and for my routine,
(10:19):
I like going. It makes me feel better about myself
and it helps my confidence. Yeah, so there's like little things.
It's like, yes, you gotta take the time. I wake
up in the morning, I pray, and I look at
myself and I do my affirmation like look, you're a
bad bitch today, like be a bad bitch, Like no,
but like you're beautiful, you're kind like and it's really
how you speak to yourself. You're you're.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Your mouth.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Your tongue has so much power. And what you say literally,
what you say out loud is like you have to
be very mindful like filter filter. You have to think
positive and just speak good things to yourself, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
And if you're someone that's listening and you find yourself
with those like inner negative talk, or you say something
out loud and you're just like you know, you catch
yourself not really treating yourself as your own best friend,
like really try to stop yourself, rewire your brain, rewire
your language, and like completely flip it. Like if you
(11:19):
if you're saying something negative, just do the episode best
you can to like, okay, I retract that and then
just tell yourself something positive to replace it, because, like
you said exactly, like word has power. My mom tells
me that all the time. And it's just like the
way you talk to yourself is gonna reflect and.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
The way you talk to people too, like speak good,
good would come to you. Yeah, just be kind and
you know we're gonna go on a quick break and
we'll be right back with SB. Welcome back you guys.
I was scrolling unto my little homework and stuff. I
saw some of your podcast episodes and I saw one
that was super interesting about sex. Okay, and I love that,
(12:01):
and I I didn't listen to it on purpose because
I wanted to talk to you about it in person
because I wanted I want to know, like, Okay, what
are we talking about? Like I saw the positions I saw.
I what was it best sex positions for plus size
or something like that. Yes, I love that you did
(12:23):
that though.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yes, I love how niche and like, I'm not afraid
to get as vulnerable as possible. I'm not gonna lie.
But I had a conversation with the young woman. Her
name was Kayla, and she did such an excellent job
leading the conversation. But we really got down to like
the nitty gritty of like sex positions, what works best,
(12:46):
what's like most comfortable for you in a plus sized body,
because you know, it's such a range, like we have
like apple shape, hair of shape, yeah, of someone you know, Yeah,
So we really get down to specifics of it. Maybe
a little bit was really inappropriate, but it was a
really constructive conversation. I got a lot of good feedback.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
No, but I think it's important to talk about those
things because one, I feel like guys don't know what
they're doing sometimes half of the time, at least in
the bedroom. We're gonna be very very honest right here.
They don't. Yeah, some don't. Some do, And especially if
you're plus sized, yes, it gets extra complicated.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Or if it's their first time being in with someone.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Plus exactly, which then it causes like some type of
because you don't know, you're not gonna. I don't know,
have you asked have you ever asked, like, have you
ever been with like a thick girl, like with the
with the person that you're dating, yeaes and like usually
most of the time they're pretty honest.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But something I want to say is that, like if
you're a woman, it's totally okay to guide them, like
when you're having intimacy, when you're doing something as simple
as making out, when you're being like touchy, like.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Okay, But the time, like one is too when do
you start saying like what you want, what you like
in the.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Beginning, I mean in terms of like intimacy, is that
what you mean intimacy?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Like how far when dating are we in? Like I'm
thinking about my life right now.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I'm like, no, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I'm like okay, I think now at this point in
dating with the specific somebody, I gotta start telling them, like,
you know, there's certain things and I feel like that
is important as a woman to express your needs. Yes,
And I think I need to start I'm gonna start
doing you started learning to do that, but you know
it is important because they can't guess it's not it's
(14:42):
like a you know, you gotta you gotta lead to
these guys.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Exactly, especially if you're like in the beginning stages of
relationships and like let's say your your knees aren't exactly
being met and you haven't exactly been telling them or
communicating like what you want or let's say what you
don't want. Maybe they're doing something that you're like, I
don't know about that. Like it's okay, Like I said,
it's okay to have those uncomfortable conversations because that's when
(15:06):
like the absolute best relationships can like fourish and like
be magical.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Absolutely, And I think even I'm gonna take it back
to being plus size in a bedroom. I do feel
that a little scary. It is it is a little scary,
but it is also like I need you to make
me feel beautiful. Yes, you know, I want to feel
like like you want me and I and I don't
(15:33):
ever want a woman to feel like they can't because
of their size exact, know what I mean. And I
feel like it's so important, crucial again, like for someone
to find a specific somebody that's gonna do all those
things for you.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, and a conversation that I feel like a lot
of a lot of people talk about are like love languages,
and that's so important and specific for anyone in any relationship.
But I've realized and like with talking to plus size
girls or girls that look like a like a huge
one for a lot of us is like reassurance, like
oh yes.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
That honestly, words of affirmation, Yeah, yeah, there you go.
That's it. What's yours? What's your love language?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I'm not gonna lie. There's like five of them. I
think all of them are like up there for me?
Really okay, number one?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Okay, how do you? How do you love? What?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Okay? My giving?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
What's your giving?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I love honestly when if we get further enough or
we're not like beginning stages. I love action like I
love to just do like things for them to be honest,
what what what were they again?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
It was? It's acts of service, service, physical touch, touch,
words of affirmation, yes, words of affirmation.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I forget, but I think it was for me. My
top one is probably acts of service.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I love.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I loved giving. I love to surprise, like, yes, maybe
gift giving is in there for me, but I love
to like surprise, And okay, what's the top one for you?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
The way you receive it. I know you said all five,
but there's gotta be one that I just I think,
I agree.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think words of affirmation for me because we could
get into I guess a little topic of anxiety. But
with anxiety, words of affirmation is like super super important.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yes, I think someone that is definitely mine. I think
the way I give it is physical and access service
physical touch and access. Like I'm just very like I
need to like, yeah, I just want to feel you.
But anyways, but yes, anxiety and words of affirmation. I
feel like as someone that struggles with anxiety, it is
very important that reassurance. And because I get in my head,
(17:36):
I am a huge overthinker, are you no?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
One hundred percent? Like ever since I was a kid,
my struggle now not so much, but like as a kid,
my struggle started with like a really bad, severe social anxiety.
But now that I'm growing up, like and I'm older,
my anxiety is not so much social, but it kind
of manifested, like if I'm alone in my room and
I'm just like right in my thought, like I feel.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Like it switched.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
But how is your mine?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I grew up with a lot of social anxiety too,
but that's also the way that I grew up. And
I feel like I have a little bit of a
like a little bit of middle child syndrome where I'm
just like, you know, my little circle I've always been.
But I agree, like now starting the podcast, and I
love that you mentioned that you struggled with social anxiety
because you can't tell it all, Like I love that
(18:27):
and knowing that you go to college for was the
communications and the pr and all that, like that is
so so good, Like it really helped, Yes, help me,
I could tell and you present yourself so well anyways,
but yes, like I struggled a lot, like even to
this day, it manifests because maybe because I haven't dated
in a long time, where it's like you don't know
(18:49):
how to talk or to you know, what's the right
thing to say? Am I doing too much? And then
it goes into like getting in your head and whatever,
and that's where the words of affirmation comes. But it
is something I feel like there's specific people in specific yeah,
specific people that are meant for your lives that are
gonna satisfy all those areas and give you what you
(19:10):
need because it is they're important. They're important things and
for it's not easy to understand.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, definitely not. And I'm so glad that you like
covered and you we brought up the topic of anxiety
because my anxiety was like so bad to the point
when I was younger that I had to become homeschooled.
Like I know, a lot of people grow up homeschooled, yeah,
and then they get a social anxiety. But like I
was in public school, and when I was in there,
I had such a horrible experience with like bullying from
(19:38):
other people, horrible like family experiences with like a lot
of trauma within my family where it's like it I
developed a very bad social anxiety where I became homeschooled.
But I realized that that was kind of like cuippling.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Me a little bit.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
A little bit didn't much, So it didn't help, And
so I really pushed myself and did the work growing up.
And I was like, you know what, mom, I'm ready
to go to public school, Like let's do it, because
it's like I know, if I don't make the job now,
it's just gonna get even worse. So I did it,
and I did a lot of like self help reading,
like a lot of work, and I was able to
(20:12):
kind of get out of that rut. But I'm not
gonna lie though I still have my very dark days.
I'm in my room and.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I feel like they're normal. I think it is normal,
and you have to normalize those days. You know, it's
it's a part I don't I don't like to say
that it's a part of you, because I don't like that.
You know, that negative connotation of anxiety. But it is
something we grow with. You know, like you're gonna just
be here in my little pocket. You're not going anywhere,
(20:42):
you know, like we're going to keep you. I know
you're here, but I'm gonna handle the situation like we're
in control. And I feel like that's the most important part,
especially with people with anxiety or even depression. You have
to take that control back. You have to take the
whatever it is. It could be social anxiety, it could
be just anxiety in general. Like it is, it is
(21:05):
so dark, and you have to know, like, okay, you
have to recognize the cues too, Like you have to know,
this is my anxiety speaking for me and you can't
let it. You know, what are some things that you
do for your anxiety.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I love that you asked, because I still to this
day tell me if you have these experiences. But I
have like a bad panic disorder where sometimes I get
like really bad panic attacks, whether that's in public or
in class, still to this day, and exactly what you said,
I really really have to be mindful and present and
(21:42):
be worry of like my emotions when it's coming up,
and I kind of just have to kind of talk
to myself and instead of like being scared of my
anxiety be like, oh no, it's coming, like, oh my god,
here it is, like it's and I feel my body
heating up and I feel.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
My throat closed.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Instead, I tell myself in my head like Okay, there
it is. It's anxiety again, because it's like we see
such a negative thing. But I was kind of told
in therapy like you got to kind of treat anxiety
as your friend and kind of like welcome it, exact
it with it.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That's what I'm saying, keep it in the pocket, Like
I know you're here, but you're not controlling, You're not me,
You're not gonna it's a part of me, but you're
not me. Yes, And I think that's the that's important
first to recognize too if anybody. If you don't, if
you've never experienced anxiety or if you've never had any,
but if you're resonating with what we're talking about, listen
(22:39):
to yourself, Listen to what your mind is telling you. Like,
I think people need to learn how to become a
little bit more self aware, you know. And I think
that it is self awareness takes you so much farther,
Like you start noticing things, and you start noticing it
and other people as well. You're like, oh, I could
(22:59):
see that, And you know how to manage or work
with people, or how to communicate with people, you know,
And I think communication is like such a huge thing
that I've had to learn because of my social anxiety.
It's like I'm only gonna how am I gonna not
get my way? But how are people gonna understand me
(23:20):
if I'm not really saying what I'm feeling? Right?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And can I ask?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Go? Yes? Go go? I love it. Where do you feel.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Like your social anxiety manifested or stem from? Because I
know we're minded personally, but like, how how earlier? How
young were you when it came about? Oh my gosh,
And did it start as like social anxiety or was it.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I feel like the first time I've ever sparent anxiety
in general.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I know it's so for me, it's so early on.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
It is like it's so hard to pinpoint because I
feel like I've been through like a lot in my life.
Like I just it is hard. I feel like maybe
after my dad passed away, that's when like my eating disorder,
well that's when I started like getting more weight and
like I didn't want to be home. I mean I
wanted to stay home because I didn't want to be
at school, you know, and obviously the same thing bullying.
(24:14):
And then a couple of years later, my mom passed away,
and then because of who she is or was, I
started getting that anxiety because everybody would stare at me.
So then it's like, yes, so and you were I
was in public school. Yeah, I went to a public
school for like a year. And then when she passed away,
the first day back, like after winter breaks something like that,
(24:39):
I did, I got anxiety. I panicked. I was like, yeah,
no I can't. And it was more was like are
they looking at me because I'm fat? Or are they
looking at me because they feel pity for me? It's
like so then it's like the thoughts start coming in.
They're like, oh, the poor fact girl, her mom passed away,
you know what I mean? All the emotions, yes, all everything,
everything everything. So how old were you? I was fifty?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Okay, that's like such a crucial it is as it
is as at fifteen, we're so awkward and we're like, yes,
we're alreadiguring out parenting emotions and added adding that yes, crazy, yeah,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Oh no, no, don't be. I I appreciate like where
it's brought me, you know, And and I'm always going
to say that, like about anything, I don't take any
bad moment, Like I feel like it's led me to
where I'm at now, and I really really appreciate appreciate it,
even if people think that it sounds a little bit bad,
(25:35):
but I do love that, Like I've learned to be
able to communicate. And because of this podcast too, like
I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone.
That's the whole point of Overcomfort podcast, like to be
able again. A thousand percent agree. I feel like true
growth happens when you get out of your comfort zone.
And I really had to push myself because you know,
(25:57):
I have siblings, but they also have emotions and they
went through their own grieving experience and I had to
be the one like okay, like I'm gonna worry about me,
still caring about them and everything, but it's also like
who's going to take care of me and who's going
to guide me? And you know, at the end of
the day, like I'm the only one that's going to
understand what I'm feeling or how to you know again
(26:19):
process and be a better person like I wasn't. I
didn't want to. I don't want to live with the
idea of that just this little chunky girl that you know,
didn't think that she was ever gonna make it. And
now that I'm here, I'm like, okay, like I'm proud
of myself and there's and I want to be able
to be that light an example the same way that
(26:40):
you are as well for people with whatever your content
and what you're doing, Like I think it is so
beautiful and so genuine and a lot of they need
more of that. I feel like it's like the community
plus I mean or dating in general. I like you're
bringing such a light And I really really loved that
because that is exactly what I probably needed when I
(27:03):
was younger, you know what I mean, Like you get me.
It's like I want to be You're being who I
needed when I was younger, and I want to be
able to do that for people as well, you know
what I mean, Like just be a light. It's just
a light. And I really appreciate you. Know, you're just
doing good things and I like it. And I know
we don't know each other very well, but I am
(27:23):
I'm telling you. I'm like, my best friend is upstairs.
She's like, you're you're getting her. I'm like, yeah, I'm
like why. She's like, she's like she asked me. She's like, oh,
who are you interviewing? And I'm like, oh, as content creator,
she came up with me for you and she interviews
the guys and she asked if they ever dated thick
girls or whatever. She's like, WHOA way, She's like, I'm
(27:45):
such a fan and whatever. So know that you are
making a difference. You're making a difference, and I'm you know,
I'm happy and I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Oh, thank you so much for sharing that, especially coming
for you, and like, thank you so much for being
vulnerable and like sharing with me us like a little
bit of your story. And I know you say that,
like I don't feel like we know each other much,
but so far I feel like I kind of the same,
you know what though.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Like it's just tunky girls, get it exactly, you get
what I mean, get it no, like you just know
when you understand. And I love that I was able
to connect, and you know, I love the way things happen, Yeah,
the way things happen in the you know, spontaneously and
(28:28):
for some reason you know you're in the position you're in,
and then we're here now and it works out. Yes,
we're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be
right back with SB. Welcome back you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
I wanted to ask, Yeah, I forget. So when you
said you were fifteen and you were homeschooled, was that
middle school or freshman? Okay?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
No, so I did public school. I went to private school. Okay,
I went to private school middle for like the middle
school time and then for high school is like, okay,
I don't want to be in private school anymore, like
I want to be able to go to public school.
I started high school, did my freshman and then sophomore
year I went to a private homeschooling one on one
(29:07):
type thing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Okay, got it. See for me, when I was when
I experienced like really bad trouble with like my dad
and stuff. It was in the sixth grade and I
was dealing with a bunch of bullying and everything kind
of flirted up at once, and I told my mom, like,
I cannot do this anymore. I have to be homeschooled.
So all of my middle school I was homeschooled. But
then when it's like every day I'm in my house
(29:29):
and it's the game so bad, I was like, okay, Mom,
I have to I took initiative. I was like, Mom,
I have to get out of the s rut. So
then with high school, I as well went to a
public's high school. But like in elementary school, I did
go to like a private Catholic school.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yes, I've been to private Catholic school really.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
For elementary school at like yeah yeah, yeah, elementary middle
school yeah yeah. So I was like, I don't know
about private school anymore, mom, but like I want to
go to public.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
School, yeah, And I really wanted to have the experience
in it, and I like I wanted to have that
high school and be able to be like a normal girl.
Obviously I wasn't able to do that, and again, things
happen for a reason. But it's like I feel like nowadays,
like in this generation, and if you guys have kids,
(30:16):
raised kids, or know anybody, just be kind. I feel
like there's no problem with being kind. And I don't
think people take it serious. How much bullying happens like that,
and that it is so detrimental to like someone a
young person's growth. Yeah, it is like you know that
(30:40):
shit literally sticks with you for the rest of your
life till this day. And I'm sure that you have
those stuck moments stuck in your head as well. Yeah,
and you know, obviously there's there's bullying has led to,
you know, very very dark things. And I feel like
if you have kids, or if you're in this position,
or if you have or you can help in any way,
(31:01):
I feel like being kind and to one another or
telling your kids to just be kind. Yes, like you know,
it's the way you raise your kids. Guys. It also
is a reflection of who the parent is exactly. And Butter,
I just wanted to say that because I'm like, I'm
tired of people getting bullied. Like even my nieces, like
they'll call me and they're like, oh, someone was mean.
(31:22):
I'm like people are still being mean like to this day,
like kids are just so whatever. But it's again, raise
your kids, right, be kind. That's it. Just be kind
and be kind to people, no matter the size, the color,
the way that they look anything. I feel like, it
doesn't kill you. It doesn't kill you. It's like we're
all here with the purpose where we come with love,
(31:45):
we come with peace. Just love and accept everybody. And
that's it.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
No, totally, And I'm so happy too that you brought
up like trying to have like that positive support system
around you, because I feel like that is so important too,
and especially if you're someone that's in position of being bullied.
I know, for me, I was kind of lucky enough
where I felt I felt okay enough to like open
up and tell my mom about it. But I know
(32:11):
that not everyone watching this has that privilege or has
that opportunity. I guess you could say, so, I don't know.
I feel like it's so important to like find someone
or find a support system, even if it's like someone
at school necessarily like a counselor and stuff. Like it's
okay to talk about it and like, don't be afraid
to speak up about it. But I know you mentioned
(32:31):
like siblings, Like for me when it comes to my siblings,
I have two sisters, two brothers, But I not at
all on.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
The like you're lying. Yeah, I have two sisters, two brothers.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And you said you're in the middle child.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I'm like the second to the last dish, Like we
have it like a weird Yeah, I'm the youngest.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Okay, Like my siblings are old enough to be like
my parents.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yet Okay, no, my sister, my sister's like forty.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
My sister's forty. I have a sister that's I have
a sister and brother that's forty, and then I have
a brother that's in his thirties. And then my my
my other sister is like twenty seven. Oh cool, Yeah,
so you get it.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
We're becoming best these guys to get it. I get it.
And it's a lot of a lot of energy and
a lot of attitude.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
But in all my siblings, we all grew up Gorritos
plus side, so everybody gets it.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
We get it.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But like like I said, with my siblings, I don't
think i'm as vulnerable enough to like talk to them
about it, you know what I mean. I don't know
how it was for you, like growing up and experiencing
that bullying, Like were you comfortable enough to ask them
or like tell them about it.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well, here's the thing. And it's probably gonna sound bad
on my mom's part, but my mom also I don't
blame her because my mom my grandpa was very rough
on my mom's weight as well. So my mom, you know,
didn't want her daughters to struggle, so she was very
She implemented a lot of like it's a healthy lifestyle eating,
(34:03):
you know whatever. I've been to that camp. I was,
my sister has too. How old were you I was?
I was, I want to say thirteen.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah, And I left and I literally cried myself to sleep.
I was like, yeah, no, I'm not gonna be here,
you know. And it's had. But I understand my mom
and I know I I can confidently tell her like
I was if I was able to comedy, tell her
in the face like okay, I get it, like it's fine,
you know. But there were moments where it just it
did mess me up. And that's where like my body
(34:35):
dysmorphia and like always worrying about my way and all that.
So anyways, but yeah, I I've with my siblings, we've
always we've struggled. So you know, we've been We're all
on the same page, like eating better and like all
that stuff. And it sucks because sometimes it stuck in
(34:57):
our heads. Like we talk about it in our group
all the time. We're just like you know, whoa like
the trauma and you know, we we address it like
we know what, we recognize it. But it was it
was tough, Like it was tough growing up because you know,
both of them, both of my parents passed away. Yeah,
and then like I've gotten surgeries and I've gotten I've
(35:18):
got taken to camp. So it's like, you know, I've
I've it's been a it's been a roller coaster. But
I love and appreciate who I am now and I
can be very confident in my own skin and whatever.
But yeah, having a lot of siblings and it is
a lot and like having that identity too. Have you
(35:39):
ever like struggled because not with your identity, but like
being different.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
From them my siblings? Yeah, yes, because so my two
oldest brothers and my oldest sister, they have a different dad,
and then me and my sister, the one that's twenty seven,
we have a different dad. And I feel like having
that like different that's literally my.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Life, really, I swear.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Okay, okay, okay, if my brothers are watching this, I'm sorry.
But sometimes growing up, I always felt like because we
came from different dads, they kind of treated me different. Okay,
but like, I know they love me. I know you
love me, but because I don't know if it's because
like the different last name or whatever. Sometimes they use
(36:23):
like language and the family group chat of like we're
Rodriguez and I'm not a Rodriguez. I'm like a Chavis.
So I don't know. Sometimes I feel that separation. I
wish I didn't feel that way, but they treat me
like a sister. I wish I was more closer to
them because because you know, they're married with kids with
families in their own lives, which I get. But sometimes
(36:44):
I do wish that I had a better relationship with
my brothers because to go back and what you were saying,
like for me, my eating disorder growing up totally was
manifested from trauma. I grew up in a very abusive
demesi sick violence household when I was younger as a
kid from my dad, and he left when I was
(37:05):
really really young, when I was like twoka. But it
was like always a constant in and out, in and
out my mom attempting to make it work because she
didn't want me and my sisters to grow up without
a father figure. But again, it wasn't at all anything
that became successful, obviously, But I don't at all shamer
for it, because like she wanted to make it work
(37:26):
because she loved him, she wanted us to have a dad,
but it just he.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Was a mom at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah, So I was raised by single one my whole life,
and I think eating for me was definitely just like
a comfort and something that I work in therapy every
week till this day. Is like realizing why I have
such a up and down relationship with food is because
it's been the only thing consistent in my life, my
(37:51):
whole life, the.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Only thing power. Yes, yeah, literally what you just said,
it's like it is it's good to eat food but
bad at the same time. Yeah, Like it's like back
and forth, back and forth, and it's like, yes, it's
the only thing that was consistent.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
It's and the thing.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yes, we were I went to it when I was
when my dad passed away. I went to him when
my mom passed away. When I'm depressed, like I go
to food, and I think anybody else, you know, there's
some people that don't, but there's I feel like people
run to food and it's like it's there and it's
and it's an unhealthy relationship and I've worked through it
through therapy as well. Like it is the toughest relationship
(38:36):
that you'll probably in. But again, it doesn't have control. No,
it doesn't have control.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah, and it's never it's literally never easy. It's never
walk in the park.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
No.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I still like, like it's funny because when I go
to therapy once a week, he's like, Okay, how's it going,
you know, And I was like, Okay, this week, doctor Jordan,
I'm not gonna lie. I wish I had a better
answer for you. But it's been hard with food this day. Yes,
it's been really hard. But then I have my week
where I'm like, actually, I've been doing pretty good. I've
been doing good. But for me, like my manifestation with
(39:08):
like all that trauma was definitely like a binge.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Eating Yeah, for sure, I agree with me. It wasn't.
It's like and it's not easy. And I'm you know,
I'm happy that you're doing the work, and I think,
you know it. It's not easy. I get you. I'm
I'm reading your mind right now, like I.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Really, I'm just I get it, like I get it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
So but yeah, and I think acknowledging it and actually
doing the work, you know, And I think that is important.
I think people forget how important therapy is as well. Yeah,
and actually talking to someone about it. I feel like
you can't. If again, if this is something that you
guys are going through, please seek some help. Just please
call a friend, you know, find something, find a safe,
(39:51):
safe space to confide in and to go ahead. And
because you have to, you can't bottle in and you
have to. You're not meant to live in this world
alone either, and you're meant to be special and taken
care of, you know, take care of yourself, love yourself,
and again, be kind to yourself. You have to be gentle,
have a lot of grace. I think grace is a
(40:13):
huge thing, especially the way that you grew up and
the way that I grew up. You have to be.
I'm learning again this year to be nicer to me, yes,
you know, and like because I've been through so much
and again for you as well, You've been through so much,
and I am like amazed with this person that I'm
(40:34):
meeting to be honest, and I'm like, I wish you
nothing but the but the world loving success because you
deserve it, you know, just like everybody else as well.
And I deserve it too. You deserve to be truly
happy and have the best relationship and anything. Yeah, you know,
And I just love and appreciate you. Thank you so
(40:56):
much for just joining me and having such a vulnerable
and honest conversation and making it feel okay and yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
No, one thousand percent. And I just want to say
I completely feel the same way about you, Like I
didn't realize how much we were going to relate and stuff,
and I wish you nothing but the best, because I
just want to say, it's not easy at all to
be super vulnerable and open about like a story, right
because everyone has a story, but it's not at all
(41:24):
easy to talk about. And it's so beautiful how comfortable
you are sharing that with like your viewers and your audience,
because it's really what truly resonates with people and what
connects with people, like the same way, I'm sitting on
this couch with you and I'm relating to you so
much on so many different levels, like people that are
watching feel the same exact way. And it's like You've
(41:44):
come a long way with your mom and her story too.
I'm not at all super familiar with it, but like
my mom has shared me a lot in the past,
a very surface level of things, and she has always
told me to growing up like I always feel like
with your mom. My mom has said that she's feel
like she's lived the same life as your mom at.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
This point probably, which is great, and it's true. My
mom went through domestic violence too, like my mom. My
mom was a single mom like my parents. You know,
she has two baby daddies too.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Like see, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
My three older siblings have a different dad. Me and
my little brother have a different well okay, well this
is a whole other thing and we're not gonna get
into it on the top on the podcast, but yeeah,
my three other my three other my three older siblings
have a dad and then me and my little brother
had the same dad, grew up with the same dad,
but I have a different biological dad.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Okay, so it's there. I see what she's saying. But
my mom meant like growing up, yes, because she always
looked up to your mom so much, like so much.
I just want to put that out.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
So the little that I do know, and like it's
so weird because, like I mean, my mom feels like
she lived the same life as your mom, but like
I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Live the exactly. So make sure when you go back
home tell your mom it's true, the life is true.
You're right, mom, You're right. No, but honestly, thank you,
thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I had such an amazing conversation with you. Please share
your socials with everybody so that they can find you.
If you guys loved her as much as I did,
(43:19):
Please support her and all her dreams and her content.
It is so organic and authentic, and please don't change.
Just please keep it and keep it where you're Obviously
you know girl, it'll be better. But like I like
the authenticity and the organic Ya is that a word?
But you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Thank you so much. I feel like this conversation was
so beautiful, so constructive, and I truly felt really comfortable.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Talking to you.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Good. You're welcome anytime. But please share your socials so
that they can find you.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah. So my social media is basically at eleven s
B one one, eSPI across all platforms. I've recently just
started a streaming endeavor over on Twitter, so I live
stream every single night. It's at eleven s B underscore.
But what do you stream?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I stream like a.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Lot of video games?
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Okay, what video game?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Right now? At the moment, it's been like Call of
Duty's on be Silent Hill Okay. But I also do
like a lot of irl stuff where I put like
people on dates, like plus sized girls on dates. But
it's like via online. But hopefully one day it's in
personal dude.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
That is so cool. Honestly, I you can host an event.
I think you should host an event for plus sized girls.
It'd be like a speed dating Yeah you know what
I mean that we're gonna come up with it anyway,
but yes, support her. Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
So on your podcast too, right, Yeah, so I have
a podcast. I want to come out with season two
very very soon. It's called the Thick Skin Podcast with
s B. Hopefully we have Jennica on it next because
I love to like dig on your your please, like
I didn't know that you also dated girls. I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, it was it was some very emotional because yeah,
because we'll let me touch it really quick. But when
I got with her when my mom had just passed away, okay,
so it was like I needed that trauma bond, ad
a trauma bond and it was like very very emotional,
and it was you know, it was an experience and
I loved it. And then just for me now it's
(45:20):
like I'm I'm good. You know, I'm happy with what
with what I had, and it was I never don't
work at any of it. But yeah, anyways, but it
was emotional. But yes, I would love to go on
your podcast and talk about it whatever you want to
talk about. And I do definitely think the speed dating
is a good idea. But all right, thank you guys
so much for watching and listening to this episode makes
(45:44):
you guys like comment, subscribe, let me know who you
guys want to see next, and I will see you
next Tuesday. By bye. Overcome for Podcasts is a production
of iHeart podcast Network.
Welcome back to the Overcover podcast. I am your hosst Jennica.
Thank you guys so much for choosing to watch and
listen to this episode today. I am excited because we're
going to have a cute little girl chat with Miss
s speech Halls. If you guys don't know who she is,
I've found her and been obsessed with her on TikTok
(00:26):
and all her social media because she just gets me.
She asks the questions that plus sized women need to
ask or like that just want to know. And there
was just this one. There's been a couple of tiktoks, which,
by the way, thank you so much for joining now.
I think so happy, so grateful. I'm grateful. I wanted
(00:46):
to talk to you because I love what you do
on your platform and I want to be able to
put more light to it because I do feel like
a lot of plus sized girls. As someone who's been
plus sized her whole life, I don't care how much
weight I lose or whatever. I'm I'm a plus sized
girlly at heart. I've been trugging my whole life, so
dating was always an issue right right, And I love
that you put light and you're so unashamed like to
(01:09):
go ahead and ask these guys because I wouldn't be
able to do it, Like it's crazy. She'll go on
TikTok or show make videos likes her content, like would
you ever date a plus size girl?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Why?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Or why not? What made you start doing that?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah? Well, first I want to say thank you so
much for having me, and I'm so happy to hear
that you enjoy the content and like it's something that
like you saw on your for you page and you
were so interested in, like intrigued to check out. But yeah,
that's literally the exact reason why I started doing that
type of content, because I really am a true, firm
believer that the most value comes from like the most
(01:44):
uncomfortable conversations. I agree, and especially when it comes to
like plus sized dating or being kind of like a
voice for curby girls. Like I feel like a lot
of girls, especially girls that look like me and you
and stuff growing up, they think or they don't put
them out there to start dating because they have the
assumption of like, oh, what if he thinks that I'm
(02:05):
bigger in person and he doesn't like me, I'm ashamed
because of X Y and Z or I'm nervous to
like go out and meet guys because it's like where
would I find the confidence and stuff. But the primary
reason why I started the videos is to show girls
that like it doesn't matter, like there is a lot
of guys out there that are one hundred percent just
don't care you know what size you are, But also
(02:28):
not to sugarcoat that there is still very much plus
size discrimination that does absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I feel like even in a fashion and a lot
of things, like no matter how much we talk about it,
I feel like it's still not inclusive. And it makes
me sad because I do remember like having those feelings
like growing up and even to this day, Like you know,
I've always had body dysmorphia. I've always had I've always struggled,
(02:58):
like damn, like and my two am I too thick
for a guy to like get with me? Because I
was I've been single for a very long time, you know,
So it messes with your head obviously, like with time
and therapy and like it gets better and like, you know,
I know who I am and I'm very confident and
I love myself. I love my body. But growing up,
(03:18):
it was a bitch, Like it was like even to
this day, and I know like how hard it is,
even like in fitting rooms. Like I was with a
friend the other day and I was just like, dude,
like I hated going to the mall. Yeah, hated shopping.
I hated going with my friends, like knowing that I
know I wasn't gonna find anything there. Did you have
(03:40):
any similar experiences like that?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
No, one thousand percent. I'm so glad that you brought
it up, because it's like going to the mall ever
since I was a little girl. I don't know how
it was for you, but it was never necessarily a
fun experience. But I remember wanting to have those fun
experiences with like friends, girlfriends, even maybe like if you're
on a date with the guy, like I always.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, it's like okay, sorry to cut you out because
I had a thought. But it's like I always thought
about like am I gonna fit like in his hoodies? Yeah,
like I would never be able to get one of
his hoodies because like what if I don't fit like whatever?
Like so it's like little things like that, and I
don't think people really take that into consideration.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, they don't. And I've had those experiences where I'm
on a date with a guy and it's chilly, and
I don't necessarily have like the warness of jacket, and
he's like, hey, like, do you want to borrow my
flanne or do you want to borrow my jacket? And
I want to, but I'm always like should I embarrass
myself right now? Or should I not? Like what if
it doesn't fit? But luckily I did squeeze into it.
It was a little tight.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But I did it. No, but it's even then, it's
still cute. You want to have like those experiences and stuff.
Exactly how is dating for you now? Like, let's say
we're in twenty twenty four, like it gets it's a
little how old are you, by the way, twenty four?
Twenty four? Okay, twenty seven a little right there. Yeah,
(05:05):
so you know, guys our age are just.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, I know, okay, So I'm twenty four and to
be completely transparent, I don't know about you, but I've
never really been in a serious long term relationship. I've been,
of course, I've been dating guys, but like not enough
where I feel like I could constantly say like, yes,
this was my this is my boyfriend, you know what
I mean? So I wouldn't necessarily say that I have
(05:28):
an ex because I don't feel like none of them
have been worthy of that title. There you go, but yes,
not gonna lie. Just like you, I feel like still
to this day, it is pretty difficult, and I feel
like dating in this generation is hard enough as it
is no matter what body size you are. But as
a curby girl, yeah, as a curby girl, it could
(05:49):
be sometimes ten times or harder. But that doesn't mean
that it's necessarily so much because of your size. Sometimes
it could be like an US issue where I know,
for me still to this day, you mentioned like having
or struggling with a little bit of body dysmorphia. Yeah,
I totally relate to that. Like some days I look
in the mirror and I feel like I look ten
(06:09):
times bigger than I actually am, or sometimes look in
the mirror and I feel like for some reason I'm
smaller it on a specific day. I don't know if
you've ever felt, yes, and then.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
You on that specific day you're like, I just ate
like pretty bad, Like do I look like you know
what I mean? Like you question everything which is and
I'm being very fully transparent and honest because these are
thoughts that happen every day, and it's like, I feel
like you have to have a good, confident man who
can also make you feel beautiful exactly like you already
(06:41):
feel beautiful, right, But it's like I want you to
like love me, like you know, like I'm I'm I'm
I'm a prize. We're prizes at the end of the day.
And it's like even when we have those thoughts or
have those moments of doubt and just like it's like
I remind me and it's and I'm not saying I'm
saying dating specifically, and it doesn't have to be a
(07:02):
guy that does that, like for you, you know, but
we're talking about dating and it's like this is what
I would love, I would love like you know. Yeah,
And I've only to be honest, I've only been in one,
seri one one very serious. I know. I'm like, do
they get the title or not exactly no, but I've
(07:23):
only been in one very serious relationship too, and it
was with the girl only and that and that's it.
And now I'm like dating guys or whatever. But even then,
it's like it gets complicated, it's too complicated. Yeah, and
I'm not even talking about you know, sizes or whatever.
But it is like today's world, I feel like the
guys are so whack. Yeah, like the communication, the maturity,
(07:47):
and it's like if like I feel like us women
have a lot of way more emotional maturity this right, yes, intelligence.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
And to kind of to kind of go on to
what to kind of go on, Like on the topic
of the body dysmorpha, I feel like sometimes because when
I have those days and I'm struggling and stuff, sometimes
that could bleed into our relationships with others because maybe
our relationship with ourselves aren't isn't the best, and it's
like it's I don't know about you, but it's like
(08:18):
a constant rollercoaster where some days or some weeks or
months like I'm super com amazing, but then I have like,
of course, like those months where it's just like you
have to make sure you have a positive relationship with
yourself in order to have one with someone.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It all starts with you. Absolutely, I feel like it
all starts within your heart. And you know, baby girl,
if you plus size, we're we're getting men Like it's
we're absolutely we're the prize. I don't want it to
be any discouragement. I feel like, again it starts within
and how you feel. I don't know, I've I know
(08:53):
you have your podcasts and stuff. What are some tips
that you can give or that you have given for
plus sized dating or just girls in general.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I know I feel like dating, like I said, is
so hard nowadays. But I feel like, like I just mentioned,
making sure to work on yourself every single day self
reflect journal, because the more you work on yourself, the
more that you you know, kind of do the absolute
best you can to be the best version of yourself possible.
(09:23):
That's of course going to like spread onto your partner.
And I truly do believe that you are what you attract.
So I don't know if you're into like manifestation or spirituality,
but as someone that like grew up the believer of
like the law of attraction, for example, I think that
does that does like reflect a lot within like your relationship.
(09:43):
So as long as you're someone that's working on yourself.
And I don't mean working on yourself in terms of
like your body or looking your best physically, but I
mean like truly inner like work that I feel like
is super important, and I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Think all the rest falls or goes along with it
as the time goes, you know, like taking care of
our bodies. You could go to the gym the moment
I get out, okay, okay, good. I always not. I
always go by this quote you never regret your workout
because it's true, and it's for some people and some not.
For me, for my mental health and for my routine,
(10:19):
I like going. It makes me feel better about myself
and it helps my confidence. Yeah, so there's like little things.
It's like, yes, you gotta take the time. I wake
up in the morning, I pray, and I look at
myself and I do my affirmation like look, you're a
bad bitch today, like be a bad bitch, Like no,
but like you're beautiful, you're kind like and it's really
how you speak to yourself. You're you're.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Your mouth.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Your tongue has so much power. And what you say literally,
what you say out loud is like you have to
be very mindful like filter filter. You have to think
positive and just speak good things to yourself, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
And if you're someone that's listening and you find yourself
with those like inner negative talk, or you say something
out loud and you're just like you know, you catch
yourself not really treating yourself as your own best friend,
like really try to stop yourself, rewire your brain, rewire
your language, and like completely flip it. Like if you
(11:19):
if you're saying something negative, just do the episode best
you can to like, okay, I retract that and then
just tell yourself something positive to replace it, because, like
you said exactly, like word has power. My mom tells
me that all the time. And it's just like the
way you talk to yourself is gonna reflect and.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
The way you talk to people too, like speak good,
good would come to you. Yeah, just be kind and
you know we're gonna go on a quick break and
we'll be right back with SB. Welcome back you guys.
I was scrolling unto my little homework and stuff. I
saw some of your podcast episodes and I saw one
that was super interesting about sex. Okay, and I love that,
(12:01):
and I I didn't listen to it on purpose because
I wanted to talk to you about it in person
because I wanted I want to know, like, Okay, what
are we talking about? Like I saw the positions I saw.
I what was it best sex positions for plus size
or something like that. Yes, I love that you did
(12:23):
that though.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yes, I love how niche and like, I'm not afraid
to get as vulnerable as possible. I'm not gonna lie.
But I had a conversation with the young woman. Her
name was Kayla, and she did such an excellent job
leading the conversation. But we really got down to like
the nitty gritty of like sex positions, what works best,
(12:46):
what's like most comfortable for you in a plus sized body,
because you know, it's such a range, like we have
like apple shape, hair of shape, yeah, of someone you know, Yeah,
So we really get down to specifics of it. Maybe
a little bit was really inappropriate, but it was a
really constructive conversation. I got a lot of good feedback.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
No, but I think it's important to talk about those
things because one, I feel like guys don't know what
they're doing sometimes half of the time, at least in
the bedroom. We're gonna be very very honest right here.
They don't. Yeah, some don't. Some do, And especially if
you're plus sized, yes, it gets extra complicated.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Or if it's their first time being in with someone.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Plus exactly, which then it causes like some type of
because you don't know, you're not gonna. I don't know,
have you asked have you ever asked, like, have you
ever been with like a thick girl, like with the
with the person that you're dating, yeaes and like usually
most of the time they're pretty honest.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But something I want to say is that, like if
you're a woman, it's totally okay to guide them, like
when you're having intimacy, when you're doing something as simple
as making out, when you're being like touchy, like.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Okay, But the time, like one is too when do
you start saying like what you want, what you like
in the.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Beginning, I mean in terms of like intimacy, is that
what you mean intimacy?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Like how far when dating are we in? Like I'm
thinking about my life right now.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I'm like, no, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I'm like okay, I think now at this point in
dating with the specific somebody, I gotta start telling them, like,
you know, there's certain things and I feel like that
is important as a woman to express your needs. Yes,
And I think I need to start I'm gonna start
doing you started learning to do that, but you know
it is important because they can't guess it's not it's
(14:42):
like a you know, you gotta you gotta lead to
these guys.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Exactly, especially if you're like in the beginning stages of
relationships and like let's say your your knees aren't exactly
being met and you haven't exactly been telling them or
communicating like what you want or let's say what you
don't want. Maybe they're doing something that you're like, I
don't know about that. Like it's okay, Like I said,
it's okay to have those uncomfortable conversations because that's when
(15:06):
like the absolute best relationships can like fourish and like
be magical.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Absolutely, And I think even I'm gonna take it back
to being plus size in a bedroom. I do feel
that a little scary. It is it is a little scary,
but it is also like I need you to make
me feel beautiful. Yes, you know, I want to feel
like like you want me and I and I don't
(15:33):
ever want a woman to feel like they can't because
of their size exact, know what I mean. And I
feel like it's so important, crucial again, like for someone
to find a specific somebody that's gonna do all those
things for you.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, and a conversation that I feel like a lot
of a lot of people talk about are like love languages,
and that's so important and specific for anyone in any relationship.
But I've realized and like with talking to plus size
girls or girls that look like a like a huge
one for a lot of us is like reassurance, like
oh yes.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
That honestly, words of affirmation, Yeah, yeah, there you go.
That's it. What's yours? What's your love language?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I'm not gonna lie. There's like five of them. I
think all of them are like up there for me?
Really okay, number one?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Okay, how do you? How do you love? What?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Okay? My giving?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
What's your giving?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I love honestly when if we get further enough or
we're not like beginning stages. I love action like I
love to just do like things for them to be honest,
what what what were they again?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
It was? It's acts of service, service, physical touch, touch,
words of affirmation, yes, words of affirmation.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I forget, but I think it was for me. My
top one is probably acts of service.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I love.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I loved giving. I love to surprise, like, yes, maybe
gift giving is in there for me, but I love
to like surprise, And okay, what's the top one for you?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
The way you receive it. I know you said all five,
but there's gotta be one that I just I think,
I agree.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think words of affirmation for me because we could
get into I guess a little topic of anxiety. But
with anxiety, words of affirmation is like super super important.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yes, I think someone that is definitely mine. I think
the way I give it is physical and access service
physical touch and access. Like I'm just very like I
need to like, yeah, I just want to feel you.
But anyways, but yes, anxiety and words of affirmation. I
feel like as someone that struggles with anxiety, it is
very important that reassurance. And because I get in my head,
(17:36):
I am a huge overthinker, are you no?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
One hundred percent? Like ever since I was a kid,
my struggle now not so much, but like as a kid,
my struggle started with like a really bad, severe social anxiety.
But now that I'm growing up, like and I'm older,
my anxiety is not so much social, but it kind
of manifested, like if I'm alone in my room and
I'm just like right in my thought, like I feel.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Like it switched.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
But how is your mine?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I grew up with a lot of social anxiety too,
but that's also the way that I grew up. And
I feel like I have a little bit of a
like a little bit of middle child syndrome where I'm
just like, you know, my little circle I've always been.
But I agree, like now starting the podcast, and I
love that you mentioned that you struggled with social anxiety
because you can't tell it all, Like I love that
(18:27):
and knowing that you go to college for was the
communications and the pr and all that, like that is
so so good, Like it really helped, Yes, help me,
I could tell and you present yourself so well anyways,
but yes, like I struggled a lot, like even to
this day, it manifests because maybe because I haven't dated
in a long time, where it's like you don't know
(18:49):
how to talk or to you know, what's the right
thing to say? Am I doing too much? And then
it goes into like getting in your head and whatever,
and that's where the words of affirmation comes. But it
is something I feel like there's specific people in specific yeah,
specific people that are meant for your lives that are
gonna satisfy all those areas and give you what you
(19:10):
need because it is they're important. They're important things and
for it's not easy to understand.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, definitely not. And I'm so glad that you like
covered and you we brought up the topic of anxiety
because my anxiety was like so bad to the point
when I was younger that I had to become homeschooled.
Like I know, a lot of people grow up homeschooled, yeah,
and then they get a social anxiety. But like I
was in public school, and when I was in there,
I had such a horrible experience with like bullying from
(19:38):
other people, horrible like family experiences with like a lot
of trauma within my family where it's like it I
developed a very bad social anxiety where I became homeschooled.
But I realized that that was kind of like cuippling.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Me a little bit.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
A little bit didn't much, So it didn't help, And
so I really pushed myself and did the work growing up.
And I was like, you know what, mom, I'm ready
to go to public school, Like let's do it, because
it's like I know, if I don't make the job now,
it's just gonna get even worse. So I did it,
and I did a lot of like self help reading,
like a lot of work, and I was able to
(20:12):
kind of get out of that rut. But I'm not
gonna lie though I still have my very dark days.
I'm in my room and.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I feel like they're normal. I think it is normal,
and you have to normalize those days. You know, it's
it's a part I don't I don't like to say
that it's a part of you, because I don't like that.
You know, that negative connotation of anxiety. But it is
something we grow with. You know, like you're gonna just
be here in my little pocket. You're not going anywhere,
(20:42):
you know, like we're going to keep you. I know
you're here, but I'm gonna handle the situation like we're
in control. And I feel like that's the most important part,
especially with people with anxiety or even depression. You have
to take that control back. You have to take the
whatever it is. It could be social anxiety, it could
be just anxiety in general. Like it is, it is
(21:05):
so dark, and you have to know, like, okay, you
have to recognize the cues too, Like you have to know,
this is my anxiety speaking for me and you can't
let it. You know, what are some things that you
do for your anxiety.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I love that you asked, because I still to this
day tell me if you have these experiences. But I
have like a bad panic disorder where sometimes I get
like really bad panic attacks, whether that's in public or
in class, still to this day, and exactly what you said,
I really really have to be mindful and present and
(21:42):
be worry of like my emotions when it's coming up,
and I kind of just have to kind of talk
to myself and instead of like being scared of my
anxiety be like, oh no, it's coming, like, oh my god,
here it is, like it's and I feel my body
heating up and I feel.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
My throat closed.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Instead, I tell myself in my head like Okay, there
it is. It's anxiety again, because it's like we see
such a negative thing. But I was kind of told
in therapy like you got to kind of treat anxiety
as your friend and kind of like welcome it, exact
it with it.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That's what I'm saying, keep it in the pocket, Like
I know you're here, but you're not controlling, You're not me,
You're not gonna it's a part of me, but you're
not me. Yes, And I think that's the that's important
first to recognize too if anybody. If you don't, if
you've never experienced anxiety or if you've never had any,
but if you're resonating with what we're talking about, listen
(22:39):
to yourself, Listen to what your mind is telling you. Like,
I think people need to learn how to become a
little bit more self aware, you know. And I think
that it is self awareness takes you so much farther,
Like you start noticing things, and you start noticing it
and other people as well. You're like, oh, I could
(22:59):
see that, And you know how to manage or work
with people, or how to communicate with people, you know,
And I think communication is like such a huge thing
that I've had to learn because of my social anxiety.
It's like I'm only gonna how am I gonna not
get my way? But how are people gonna understand me
(23:20):
if I'm not really saying what I'm feeling? Right?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And can I ask?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Go? Yes? Go go? I love it. Where do you feel.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Like your social anxiety manifested or stem from? Because I
know we're minded personally, but like, how how earlier? How
young were you when it came about? Oh my gosh,
And did it start as like social anxiety or was it.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I feel like the first time I've ever sparent anxiety
in general.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I know it's so for me, it's so early on.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
It is like it's so hard to pinpoint because I
feel like I've been through like a lot in my life.
Like I just it is hard. I feel like maybe
after my dad passed away, that's when like my eating disorder,
well that's when I started like getting more weight and
like I didn't want to be home. I mean I
wanted to stay home because I didn't want to be
at school, you know, and obviously the same thing bullying.
(24:14):
And then a couple of years later, my mom passed away,
and then because of who she is or was, I
started getting that anxiety because everybody would stare at me.
So then it's like, yes, so and you were I
was in public school. Yeah, I went to a public
school for like a year. And then when she passed away,
the first day back, like after winter breaks something like that,
(24:39):
I did, I got anxiety. I panicked. I was like, yeah,
no I can't. And it was more was like are
they looking at me because I'm fat? Or are they
looking at me because they feel pity for me? It's
like so then it's like the thoughts start coming in.
They're like, oh, the poor fact girl, her mom passed away,
you know what I mean? All the emotions, yes, all everything,
everything everything. So how old were you? I was fifty?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Okay, that's like such a crucial it is as it
is as at fifteen, we're so awkward and we're like, yes,
we're alreadiguring out parenting emotions and added adding that yes, crazy, yeah,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Oh no, no, don't be. I I appreciate like where
it's brought me, you know, And and I'm always going
to say that, like about anything, I don't take any
bad moment, Like I feel like it's led me to
where I'm at now, and I really really appreciate appreciate it,
even if people think that it sounds a little bit bad,
(25:35):
but I do love that, Like I've learned to be
able to communicate. And because of this podcast too, like
I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone.
That's the whole point of Overcomfort podcast, like to be
able again. A thousand percent agree. I feel like true
growth happens when you get out of your comfort zone.
And I really had to push myself because you know,
(25:57):
I have siblings, but they also have emotions and they
went through their own grieving experience and I had to
be the one like okay, like I'm gonna worry about me,
still caring about them and everything, but it's also like
who's going to take care of me and who's going
to guide me? And you know, at the end of
the day, like I'm the only one that's going to
understand what I'm feeling or how to you know again
(26:19):
process and be a better person like I wasn't. I
didn't want to. I don't want to live with the
idea of that just this little chunky girl that you know,
didn't think that she was ever gonna make it. And
now that I'm here, I'm like, okay, like I'm proud
of myself and there's and I want to be able
to be that light an example the same way that
(26:40):
you are as well for people with whatever your content
and what you're doing, Like I think it is so
beautiful and so genuine and a lot of they need
more of that. I feel like it's like the community
plus I mean or dating in general. I like you're
bringing such a light And I really really loved that
because that is exactly what I probably needed when I
(27:03):
was younger, you know what I mean, Like you get me.
It's like I want to be You're being who I
needed when I was younger, and I want to be
able to do that for people as well, you know
what I mean, Like just be a light. It's just
a light. And I really appreciate you. Know, you're just
doing good things and I like it. And I know
we don't know each other very well, but I am
(27:23):
I'm telling you. I'm like, my best friend is upstairs.
She's like, you're you're getting her. I'm like, yeah, I'm
like why. She's like, she's like she asked me. She's like, oh,
who are you interviewing? And I'm like, oh, as content creator,
she came up with me for you and she interviews
the guys and she asked if they ever dated thick
girls or whatever. She's like, WHOA way, She's like, I'm
(27:45):
such a fan and whatever. So know that you are
making a difference. You're making a difference, and I'm you know,
I'm happy and I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Oh, thank you so much for sharing that, especially coming
for you, and like, thank you so much for being
vulnerable and like sharing with me us like a little
bit of your story. And I know you say that,
like I don't feel like we know each other much,
but so far I feel like I kind of the same,
you know what though.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Like it's just tunky girls, get it exactly, you get
what I mean, get it no, like you just know
when you understand. And I love that I was able
to connect, and you know, I love the way things happen, Yeah,
the way things happen in the you know, spontaneously and
(28:28):
for some reason you know you're in the position you're in,
and then we're here now and it works out. Yes,
we're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be
right back with SB. Welcome back you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
I wanted to ask, Yeah, I forget. So when you
said you were fifteen and you were homeschooled, was that
middle school or freshman? Okay?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
No, so I did public school. I went to private school. Okay,
I went to private school middle for like the middle
school time and then for high school is like, okay,
I don't want to be in private school anymore, like
I want to be able to go to public school.
I started high school, did my freshman and then sophomore
year I went to a private homeschooling one on one
(29:07):
type thing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Okay, got it. See for me, when I was when
I experienced like really bad trouble with like my dad
and stuff. It was in the sixth grade and I
was dealing with a bunch of bullying and everything kind
of flirted up at once, and I told my mom, like,
I cannot do this anymore. I have to be homeschooled.
So all of my middle school I was homeschooled. But
then when it's like every day I'm in my house
(29:29):
and it's the game so bad, I was like, okay, Mom,
I have to I took initiative. I was like, Mom,
I have to get out of the s rut. So
then with high school, I as well went to a
public's high school. But like in elementary school, I did
go to like a private Catholic school.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yes, I've been to private Catholic school really.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
For elementary school at like yeah yeah, yeah, elementary middle
school yeah yeah. So I was like, I don't know
about private school anymore, mom, but like I want to
go to public.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
School, yeah, And I really wanted to have the experience
in it, and I like I wanted to have that
high school and be able to be like a normal girl.
Obviously I wasn't able to do that, and again, things
happen for a reason. But it's like I feel like nowadays,
like in this generation, and if you guys have kids,
(30:16):
raised kids, or know anybody, just be kind. I feel
like there's no problem with being kind. And I don't
think people take it serious. How much bullying happens like that,
and that it is so detrimental to like someone a
young person's growth. Yeah, it is like you know that
(30:40):
shit literally sticks with you for the rest of your
life till this day. And I'm sure that you have
those stuck moments stuck in your head as well. Yeah,
and you know, obviously there's there's bullying has led to,
you know, very very dark things. And I feel like
if you have kids, or if you're in this position,
or if you have or you can help in any way,
(31:01):
I feel like being kind and to one another or
telling your kids to just be kind. Yes, like you know,
it's the way you raise your kids. Guys. It also
is a reflection of who the parent is exactly. And Butter,
I just wanted to say that because I'm like, I'm
tired of people getting bullied. Like even my nieces, like
they'll call me and they're like, oh, someone was mean.
(31:22):
I'm like people are still being mean like to this day,
like kids are just so whatever. But it's again, raise
your kids, right, be kind. That's it. Just be kind
and be kind to people, no matter the size, the color,
the way that they look anything. I feel like, it
doesn't kill you. It doesn't kill you. It's like we're
all here with the purpose where we come with love,
(31:45):
we come with peace. Just love and accept everybody. And
that's it.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
No, totally, And I'm so happy too that you brought
up like trying to have like that positive support system
around you, because I feel like that is so important too,
and especially if you're someone that's in position of being bullied.
I know, for me, I was kind of lucky enough
where I felt I felt okay enough to like open
up and tell my mom about it. But I know
(32:11):
that not everyone watching this has that privilege or has
that opportunity. I guess you could say, so, I don't know.
I feel like it's so important to like find someone
or find a support system, even if it's like someone
at school necessarily like a counselor and stuff. Like it's
okay to talk about it and like, don't be afraid
to speak up about it. But I know you mentioned
(32:31):
like siblings, Like for me when it comes to my siblings,
I have two sisters, two brothers, But I not at
all on.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
The like you're lying. Yeah, I have two sisters, two brothers.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
And you said you're in the middle child.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
I'm like the second to the last dish, Like we
have it like a weird Yeah, I'm the youngest.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Okay, Like my siblings are old enough to be like
my parents.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yet Okay, no, my sister, my sister's like forty.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
My sister's forty. I have a sister that's I have
a sister and brother that's forty, and then I have
a brother that's in his thirties. And then my my
my other sister is like twenty seven. Oh cool, Yeah,
so you get it.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
We're becoming best these guys to get it. I get it.
And it's a lot of a lot of energy and
a lot of attitude.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
But in all my siblings, we all grew up Gorritos
plus side, so everybody gets it.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
We get it.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But like like I said, with my siblings, I don't
think i'm as vulnerable enough to like talk to them
about it, you know what I mean. I don't know
how it was for you, like growing up and experiencing
that bullying, Like were you comfortable enough to ask them
or like tell them about it.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well, here's the thing. And it's probably gonna sound bad
on my mom's part, but my mom also I don't
blame her because my mom my grandpa was very rough
on my mom's weight as well. So my mom, you know,
didn't want her daughters to struggle, so she was very
She implemented a lot of like it's a healthy lifestyle eating,
(34:03):
you know whatever. I've been to that camp. I was,
my sister has too. How old were you I was?
I was, I want to say thirteen.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah, And I left and I literally cried myself to sleep.
I was like, yeah, no, I'm not gonna be here,
you know. And it's had. But I understand my mom
and I know I I can confidently tell her like
I was if I was able to comedy, tell her
in the face like okay, I get it, like it's fine,
you know. But there were moments where it just it
did mess me up. And that's where like my body
(34:35):
dysmorphia and like always worrying about my way and all that.
So anyways, but yeah, I I've with my siblings, we've
always we've struggled. So you know, we've been We're all
on the same page, like eating better and like all
that stuff. And it sucks because sometimes it stuck in
(34:57):
our heads. Like we talk about it in our group
all the time. We're just like you know, whoa like
the trauma and you know, we we address it like
we know what, we recognize it. But it was it
was tough, Like it was tough growing up because you know,
both of them, both of my parents passed away. Yeah,
and then like I've gotten surgeries and I've gotten I've
(35:18):
got taken to camp. So it's like, you know, I've
I've it's been a it's been a roller coaster. But
I love and appreciate who I am now and I
can be very confident in my own skin and whatever.
But yeah, having a lot of siblings and it is
a lot and like having that identity too. Have you
(35:39):
ever like struggled because not with your identity, but like
being different.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
From them my siblings? Yeah, yes, because so my two
oldest brothers and my oldest sister, they have a different dad,
and then me and my sister, the one that's twenty seven,
we have a different dad. And I feel like having
that like different that's literally my.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Life, really, I swear.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Okay, okay, okay, if my brothers are watching this, I'm sorry.
But sometimes growing up, I always felt like because we
came from different dads, they kind of treated me different. Okay,
but like, I know they love me. I know you
love me, but because I don't know if it's because
like the different last name or whatever. Sometimes they use
(36:23):
like language and the family group chat of like we're
Rodriguez and I'm not a Rodriguez. I'm like a Chavis.
So I don't know. Sometimes I feel that separation. I
wish I didn't feel that way, but they treat me
like a sister. I wish I was more closer to
them because because you know, they're married with kids with
families in their own lives, which I get. But sometimes
(36:44):
I do wish that I had a better relationship with
my brothers because to go back and what you were saying,
like for me, my eating disorder growing up totally was
manifested from trauma. I grew up in a very abusive
demesi sick violence household when I was younger as a
kid from my dad, and he left when I was
(37:05):
really really young, when I was like twoka. But it
was like always a constant in and out, in and
out my mom attempting to make it work because she
didn't want me and my sisters to grow up without
a father figure. But again, it wasn't at all anything
that became successful, obviously, But I don't at all shamer
for it, because like she wanted to make it work
(37:26):
because she loved him, she wanted us to have a dad,
but it just he.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Was a mom at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yeah, So I was raised by single one my whole life,
and I think eating for me was definitely just like
a comfort and something that I work in therapy every
week till this day. Is like realizing why I have
such a up and down relationship with food is because
it's been the only thing consistent in my life, my
(37:51):
whole life, the.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Only thing power. Yes, yeah, literally what you just said,
it's like it is it's good to eat food but
bad at the same time. Yeah, Like it's like back
and forth, back and forth, and it's like, yes, it's
the only thing that was consistent.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
It's and the thing.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yes, we were I went to it when I was
when my dad passed away. I went to him when
my mom passed away. When I'm depressed, like I go
to food, and I think anybody else, you know, there's
some people that don't, but there's I feel like people
run to food and it's like it's there and it's
and it's an unhealthy relationship and I've worked through it
through therapy as well. Like it is the toughest relationship
(38:36):
that you'll probably in. But again, it doesn't have control. No,
it doesn't have control.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah, and it's never it's literally never easy. It's never
walk in the park.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
No.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I still like, like it's funny because when I go
to therapy once a week, he's like, Okay, how's it going,
you know, And I was like, Okay, this week, doctor Jordan,
I'm not gonna lie. I wish I had a better
answer for you. But it's been hard with food this day. Yes,
it's been really hard. But then I have my week
where I'm like, actually, I've been doing pretty good. I've
been doing good. But for me, like my manifestation with
(39:08):
like all that trauma was definitely like a binge.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Eating Yeah, for sure, I agree with me. It wasn't.
It's like and it's not easy. And I'm you know,
I'm happy that you're doing the work, and I think,
you know it. It's not easy. I get you. I'm
I'm reading your mind right now, like I.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Really, I'm just I get it, like I get it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
So but yeah, and I think acknowledging it and actually
doing the work, you know, And I think that is important.
I think people forget how important therapy is as well. Yeah,
and actually talking to someone about it. I feel like
you can't. If again, if this is something that you
guys are going through, please seek some help. Just please
call a friend, you know, find something, find a safe,
(39:51):
safe space to confide in and to go ahead. And
because you have to, you can't bottle in and you
have to. You're not meant to live in this world
alone either, and you're meant to be special and taken
care of, you know, take care of yourself, love yourself,
and again, be kind to yourself. You have to be gentle,
have a lot of grace. I think grace is a
(40:13):
huge thing, especially the way that you grew up and
the way that I grew up. You have to be.
I'm learning again this year to be nicer to me, yes,
you know, and like because I've been through so much
and again for you as well, You've been through so much,
and I am like amazed with this person that I'm
(40:34):
meeting to be honest, and I'm like, I wish you
nothing but the but the world loving success because you
deserve it, you know, just like everybody else as well.
And I deserve it too. You deserve to be truly
happy and have the best relationship and anything. Yeah, you know,
And I just love and appreciate you. Thank you so
(40:56):
much for just joining me and having such a vulnerable
and honest conversation and making it feel okay and yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
No, one thousand percent. And I just want to say
I completely feel the same way about you, Like I
didn't realize how much we were going to relate and stuff,
and I wish you nothing but the best, because I
just want to say, it's not easy at all to
be super vulnerable and open about like a story, right
because everyone has a story, but it's not at all
(41:24):
easy to talk about. And it's so beautiful how comfortable
you are sharing that with like your viewers and your audience,
because it's really what truly resonates with people and what
connects with people, like the same way, I'm sitting on
this couch with you and I'm relating to you so
much on so many different levels, like people that are
watching feel the same exact way. And it's like You've
(41:44):
come a long way with your mom and her story too.
I'm not at all super familiar with it, but like
my mom has shared me a lot in the past,
a very surface level of things, and she has always
told me to growing up like I always feel like
with your mom. My mom has said that she's feel
like she's lived the same life as your mom at.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
This point probably, which is great, and it's true. My
mom went through domestic violence too, like my mom. My
mom was a single mom like my parents. You know,
she has two baby daddies too.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Like see, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
My three older siblings have a different dad. Me and
my little brother have a different well okay, well this
is a whole other thing and we're not gonna get
into it on the top on the podcast, but yeeah,
my three other my three other my three older siblings
have a dad and then me and my little brother
had the same dad, grew up with the same dad,
but I have a different biological dad.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Okay, so it's there. I see what she's saying. But
my mom meant like growing up, yes, because she always
looked up to your mom so much, like so much.
I just want to put that out.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
So the little that I do know, and like it's
so weird because, like I mean, my mom feels like
she lived the same life as your mom, but like
I feel like I.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Live the exactly. So make sure when you go back
home tell your mom it's true, the life is true.
You're right, mom, You're right. No, but honestly, thank you,
thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I had such an amazing conversation with you. Please share
your socials with everybody so that they can find you.
If you guys loved her as much as I did,
(43:19):
Please support her and all her dreams and her content.
It is so organic and authentic, and please don't change.
Just please keep it and keep it where you're Obviously
you know girl, it'll be better. But like I like
the authenticity and the organic Ya is that a word?
But you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Thank you so much. I feel like this conversation was
so beautiful, so constructive, and I truly felt really comfortable.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Talking to you.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
Good. You're welcome anytime. But please share your socials so
that they can find you.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah. So my social media is basically at eleven s
B one one, eSPI across all platforms. I've recently just
started a streaming endeavor over on Twitter, so I live
stream every single night. It's at eleven s B underscore.
But what do you stream?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
I stream like a.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Lot of video games?
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Okay, what video game?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Right now? At the moment, it's been like Call of
Duty's on be Silent Hill Okay. But I also do
like a lot of irl stuff where I put like
people on dates, like plus sized girls on dates. But
it's like via online. But hopefully one day it's in
personal dude.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
That is so cool. Honestly, I you can host an event.
I think you should host an event for plus sized girls.
It'd be like a speed dating Yeah you know what
I mean that we're gonna come up with it anyway,
but yes, support her. Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
So on your podcast too, right, Yeah, so I have
a podcast. I want to come out with season two
very very soon. It's called the Thick Skin Podcast with
s B. Hopefully we have Jennica on it next because
I love to like dig on your your please, like
I didn't know that you also dated girls. I love that.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, it was it was some very emotional because yeah,
because we'll let me touch it really quick. But when
I got with her when my mom had just passed away, okay,
so it was like I needed that trauma bond, ad
a trauma bond and it was like very very emotional,
and it was you know, it was an experience and
I loved it. And then just for me now it's
(45:20):
like I'm I'm good. You know, I'm happy with what
with what I had, and it was I never don't
work at any of it. But yeah, anyways, but it
was emotional. But yes, I would love to go on
your podcast and talk about it whatever you want to
talk about. And I do definitely think the speed dating
is a good idea. But all right, thank you guys
so much for watching and listening to this episode makes
(45:44):
you guys like comment, subscribe, let me know who you
guys want to see next, and I will see you
next Tuesday. By bye. Overcome for Podcasts is a production
of iHeart podcast Network.
Host
Jenicka Lopez
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