February 4, 2025 • 49 mins
I had the pleasure and honor to meet and get to know the beautiful Bella Retamosa. A single mother and content creator, she shares her personal experiences with the father of her child. Growing up in a very strict household, Bella also talks about how she chose life outside of experiences and where she's headed now.
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
All right, you guys, welcome back to the Overcover Podcast.
I'm your host, Jenna Kalopez. Thank you guys so much
for being here. I'm excited because I have the one,
the only, the beautiful Bella.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't want to butcher last name.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
How do you say it?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Do you see how she says it? I can't. I
didn't want a butcher.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna get clipped to
get fucked up about it. But I'm so happy that
you're here. I obviously this is our first time meeting,
and obviously you know, please get comfortable, Please fill at home.
I know that's hard, especially you know, as people meeting
for the first time, but I promise you I don't
bite no.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
But I I've seen you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I think more than anything, I'm a huge fan of
the mother that you are. I seen your content about
your baby boy, and that's literally all that it is
on your page, and I love that. But I also
know that you have another life, like obviously you know
your career and whatever you do, like I want, I
want to get into I want to know Bella. I
want to know how she grew up and and where
(01:08):
she's at now because I know that you've been on
other podcast, but your first time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
He thank you for having me, of.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Course, So let's get into it because we were already
talking about rbbls and getting our bodies done and all that.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But I want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Before the when you were born, your your childhood, Like,
how was it for you growing up?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Obviously you have a son, right, what's his name?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Noah?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Noah? Yes, I know, I was in my head. I'm
like the arc Noah's are.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
How old is he? He's three? Before and June.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I love that age.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I have nieces and nephews like at that age, and I.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Think it's the most sweetest.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Like.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Their love. And he's a boy, and like, I'm sure
he adores you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
He's a mama's boy boy for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I love it. Okay, Well to pass the mic to you.
Please introduce yourself.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
For those that don't know you, your childhood, what you
do all that gets chalk.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Hi everyone. My name is Bela. I am a lifestyle
content creator. I've been on social media since twenty twenty one.
I started during COVID, so I haven't been in the
game as long as others, but it feels like a
long time. It's I can only imagine for people like
that were there in the start. But anyways, so yeah,
I started in twenty twenty one. I started making content
(02:29):
with my son's dad and we started like as like
a couples, and we grew into a family and now
I'm more like solo mommy content. But I grew up
in a family of six. There's three boys and three girls.
Yeah okay, and I was the second to youngest.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh I'm the second youngest too.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh yeah, everyone else was older than me. So they're
all like in their thirties now. And then I have
a younger sister who's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
How old are you, I'm twenty five. I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
So yeah, so yeah, my dad was pretty strict growing up,
especially with the girls of course Latinos. Yes, yes, it's
the worst. Like I hated it. Where's your family from?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Like I looked at him, Okay, yeah, my grandma's from there.
Yeah so my family's yeah, so I get it. They're strict,
you know, yeah there, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
They're mainly like my life growing up was literally just
like living at sports games. That's all because of the boys. Yes,
literally baseball games, baseball practices, that's all. It was, but
I can't complain. I feel like I lived a very
good childhood, like never went a night without eating. So yeah,
(03:50):
forever blessed for my parents. I love that life that
they gave us. I think now being a mom, like
I have so much respect for my parents. It's like
they had six kids and they always made it happen.
Like I hear so many stories of like like my
friends and like how they grew up, and or like
(04:11):
just like my son's father, like how he grew up.
And my life was totally different.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
So it's hard when somebody else lives a different life
than you, and then you kind of like trying to
mesh that and understand each other. It's like complicated. It's
like but no, like I'm not this person, and like,
but I want you to understand me, but I also
want to understand you.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like it's like, yeah, because my.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Family obviously you know, I don't know if you know,
but people know that, Like you know, my mom was
a singer and all that stuff, and I witnessed I've
witnessed struggle with you know, how my mom took care
of she was a single mom of five. So it's
like it was, I've seen it, but a lot of
people don't know that. And obviously she worked hard and like,
(04:58):
you know, did what she could, all five of us
and whatever. So a lot of people think, you know,
I'm as, I'm spoiled or like whatever. Realistically it's not,
maybe like other people were, but I still maintained like
some type of humbleness and just like, yeah, I'm still
a normal person and would love to like connect with
people on a different level, if that makes sense. So
(05:21):
that's why I was like, oh, you know what, like
I want to sit down, let's have a chit chat
with Bella, like I want to know, like you know
who she is, and like, obviously was your boy planned?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
No, no, okay, so take me through that. What happened?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Like, yeah, I was so scared. So I was twenty
one when I got pregnant, and my son's dad was
twenty okay, so pretty young.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
How long had you guys been together?
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh, maybe two and a half three years? Okay, we
already had like our social media thing, okay, Okay, so yeah,
but at the time, my dad was still strict, like
he wasn't allowed to be in my room at my house, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Because you still live there.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yes, I still live with my parents, so yeah, And
it was like I had to be home by a
certain time. Yeah, it was like eleven o'clock, Where are
you at? What time are you coming home? So my
parents were still very much strict, like I was not
allowed to go on vacation, nothing, none of that with
my boyfriend. So I literally just had a feeling like
(06:22):
I didn't miss my period. Well it had been like
two or three days. Yeah, but it wasn't like I
wasn't anything out of the ordinary because I had such
an irregular period, So I wasn't like, oh my gosh,
it's been three months and nothing. I just literally had
a feeling. And like two days before I had a
dream that I was like talking to a baby girl
and she was like calling me mommy. And I woke
(06:43):
up with my hand on my stomach. And that's what
made me take up pregnancies.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Okay, And well turned out to not be a girl.
But I had so many dreams about a baby girl
that I thought that I was gonna have a girl.
But so that made me like be like I need
to take a pregnancy test. And I had told my
son's dad and he's like, no, you're not pregnant, and
so I was like we literally even made a bet
(07:11):
about it. I don't remember what the bet was, but
we made a bet. He's like, I bet you you're not.
I bet you you're not. So we had gone to
get a pregnancy test and then he took me back
home to drop me off, and I took it in
my parents' bathroom upstairs. Oh my god, girl, Oh I'm
so scared. I was being so quiet and then positive
(07:32):
and I was like, oh, like, this wasn't the first
pregnancy test that I've done.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
It.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I feel like every girl takes them, like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Of course, do you know the scared Like, yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
So I had taken a couple before.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
But she's like, it's gonna be negative.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It's always negative. So when I saw the positive, like
right away, I was like, oh my gosh. And he
was still waiting outside. So I had like shoved it
in my pocket and I went downstairs and I told him.
I'm like, oh my gosh. He was so chill though,
like totally different family, Like his mom would have been
like okay, but mine it's like totally different. So I
(08:05):
think we went like two months without telling my family, okay,
and then one day he was just like, we have
to tell them, like we have to, like we need
to know if you need to go to the doctor,
like what you need to do, because we were looking
everything up on Google, like when should you see us
a doctor when you find out you're pregnant, And he's like,
we need to tell them, like we need to know
(08:26):
like what to do, and so I was like, oh
my gosh, so I stayed He had an apartment at
this time, and I stayed at his apartment and he's like,
I'll just go tell them myself. No, yes, dude, I
was so.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, no, yeah, Carrie, I would ship my parents, but
go off.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I shut off my phone. And he went to tell
my parents, and my mom cried and she said that
she already knew mol just saying that, but she was like, yeah,
I already knew. Tell her like just to come home.
And then my dad was just like, okay, it's hard
to come home. But it wasn't the reaction I was expecting.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You thought it was going to be, like I thought
it was gonna be like get the fuck out my
house type shit.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Not necessarily them kicking me out. But I thought that
they were going to be so mad, like your lectures
and all of that.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But were you used to that growing up?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
That my brother had a kid in high school? Okay,
so my Solard, my sister whole nother story also like
moved to Texas with her mom and like just popped
out a baby and oh okay, that's how my dad
found out when she had the baby. So I feel
like they just had a lot of like there was
a lot of trauma. Yeah. So I was expecting like
(09:39):
a different reaction because they all had kids super young
and it was like, oh my gosh, what are we
going to do? Like I became a theon like kindergarten.
So I was just expecting them to react different. But honestly,
I think because we already had like an income going
for us, that they were like, okay, like you guys,
(09:59):
they can do it. Yeah, So they weren't really like
scared for us. But I came home back that night
and then they just cried and then the next morning
made my doctor's appointment for me. Specially, it went a
lot easier than I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And was this before or after body down first time?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Or this was I had the baby first, okay I
started Okay, all right, so we'll skip that it so obviously.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You had him, yes, love him. How has life been
as a mom these last three years?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
My gosh, well, the beginning was not what I expected
at all. Super hard, so hard, Like so I was
comparing myself a lot to the other like girls who
were pregnant at the same time as me, because I
feel like I got pregnant as like a couple other
like influencers who already had their body done. So like after,
(10:56):
I'm like, girl, how come we were able to snap
back like right away? Like that's scared me.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, I'm like, now that I got my body, and
I'm like, and they tell you to wait to have kids,
I'm like, I do not want to, Like when am
I gonna have kids?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'd rather be bodied down now than to have kids. Yeah,
but that is scary. It's like damn, like you invest
all this money and all this time and the healing
and all that, but I mean you got yours done
after But obviously you were saying that it was it
was it was hard, it was difficult, right, And how
was it with your baby? You guys aren't together. No, Okay,
(11:32):
can I ask why or what? Like what shifted or
what changed?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
And when we first first started dating, we were super young.
He was eighteen, I was nineteen. It was so toxic,
so toxic, and obviously I know, and I think that
it stems a lot from the way he was raised
and the difference from the way he was raised to
the way I was raised. And I think that like
(11:58):
had everything to do with that. Like I would tell him,
like we have to go to therapy, like we have
to figure this out, and he was totally like anti therapy,
like I don't need that. I don't need that, Like
that's not going to do nothing for me, Like how
is this random person going to tell me? Like yeah what?
So we were super super toxic as teens, like so toxic,
(12:20):
but things got better, like when we started doing social
media together and like making that income, like we became
more like a like a team. And then when I
got pregnant, he was the best, Like I could not
have asked for a better partner, like super caring, super loving,
like did everything I needed, Like I would literally lay
(12:40):
in bed and sleep all day and he would just
like buy me food brun my feet, Like I could
not have asked for a better partner. And then after
two same thing, he was good. But I feel like
what really caused like the problems after birth was it
was just so hard to like care for a newborn
(13:01):
and then I feel like not having that one on
one time like with him, and like me being tired,
over stimulated, like figuring out motherhood him like figuring out
how to be a dad, and then also like working together,
Oh my gosh, it would be like we need to film,
we need to do that, and I'm like, I'm tired,
like I was up all night. So like I feel
(13:23):
like the tension was just like there, like any little
thing would cause an argument. But yeah, eventually he was
just like no, like this is not working anymore. And
then we continued to live together for a year. We
broke up for a year, okay, and I lived with
(13:45):
him still.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
How was that? Like would you date other people? Would
he date other people?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't know what he was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I was so in love with him, Like I wasn't
expecting to cry, but like I was like so in
love with him that like I couldnot like.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You didn't see anything else.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, So like that's the whole reason I stayed there
for the whole year was because like I was like,
there's no way that like I could be with someone else,
Like I want my family together, dude. I would literally
be crying, like holding my baby, like I'm so sorry
that I did this, like to you, Like all I
wanted was for him. I wasn't expecting to cry, but
(14:32):
I wasn't like expect like I never ever ever wanted
that from my son. So like I felt like I
let him down.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, and I feel like I can I feel that
because like when you have a kid, you want to
be able just to have that loving surrounding family, yeah,
and give that to them and like have this perfect
idea and this like everything that's in your head.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Like since I was a little girl, that's all I
ever imagine imagine, like was getting married, having kids. Like
so I feel like when I had my baby with him,
like that's everything that I wanted and I would like
literally expect like the engagement ring. So like the breakup,
I was like.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Huh, like it was it threw you off?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, And so like I felt so bad for my baby,
and that's why I stayed living there with him because
I was like, there's no way I can be separated
from my son and share him, and like I really
just wanted nothing more than to be with my son's
dad at the time. And then we got back together
and like tried to make things work for a little bit,
and then we just broke up again. And then that's
(15:33):
why I was like, Okay, I like I can't keep
doing this. Thank you. Yeah, I was like I can't
keep doing this. And then things kind of started getting
a little bit toxic, right, and so I was like, Okay,
I think it's best that like I move out and.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
All right, you guys, we're gonna want a quick break
and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Welcome back, you guys.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, it's really really good, super healthy, Like I could
not have asked for a better co parent. I see
all of these like talk.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh yeah, and I'm my god, I see all these
videos on tiktoks of like moms dropping off their babies
with like their dad and like they do like the
little POV and stuff like that, like oh, come drop
off my baby co parenting with they're toxic, and I'm
like and then they spill the beans and I'm like,
I mean, I kind of live.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
For it, you know, yea, Like I'm watching I'm like, damn.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
You know crazy, But it's like it's better. It's better
for your son, it's better for you, Yeah, Because then
that's also another stress and a lot of worry, like
is he okay?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Is my son okay?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And having that confidence that your baby daddy's gonna take
care of.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Him, yes, oh my gosh. Yes. And I feel like
that's what gives me so much peace of mind, is
that we're on such a good like stage in our
relationship right now that like I can call him and
like talk to him, like we talk about everything, like you.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Guys are best friend.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yes, I'm like so like we're in such a good
place in our relationship right now. It was really rough
when I had first moved out, but now we're like
at such a good stage in a relationship, and it
makes me easy. You're like I can call you and
FaceTime you for thirty minutes and see what my son's doing,
or take them to Disneyland and things like aren't weird
so that I make respect. Yes, it's so much easier now.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I want to know how it is when you guys
are dating other people because this sounds like this sounds
really good, honestly great co parenting. But I'm gonna be
honest with you as a girl, I maybe.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Maybe everybody can you know, chime in and whoever's watching
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
But like.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
If my man's who has a kid with somebody.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Else, like you know, I get like the birthday parties
and I get going out like.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I don't know about Disney Girl like things like that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Agree, I said I would never date a man who
has a kid. Okay, having a kid okay, because I
would never write it's toxic. But I wouldn't never tolerate that, Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But the thing is, how do you guys do have you?
Have you dated and he knows or has he dated
and he knows him.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I've been in like talking stages, but I've never been
in like another relation. But does he know something serious? Yes,
he knew about it?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Okay, yeah it did he get toalkdic about it? No?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
But and to be honest, I'm not sure if he
ever told me this, Like he didn't want the guy around,
right son, but like he didn't care what I did.
He just didn't want the guy around my son only
because he knew like that the relationship was like and
it was valid. He just knew that it wasn't nothing
serious and you shouldn't be bringing my son around this, right. Yeah,
(18:43):
so I thought it was very valid. And honestly, I
don't know what he's doing. He says that he's not
dating anyone. But I know that my son has been
around like other girls, because he'll tell me.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Your son will tell you. Yeah, okay, so how you see.
I don't get guy though, Like, why do you play
that game? It's right you can girl? Why can you?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
So you know what happened. My son had a birthday
party in the summer, and at the time we were
like super we were kind of rocky and our co
parenting relationship, uh uh huh. And I had saw this
girl there but she looked super young. But I'm like,
who is this girl? But she was hanging out with
his younger brother. So in my head, I'm like, oh,
(19:27):
that's his little girlfriend. Because the girl was tiny, I
just thought it was a brother's girlfriend. So I brushed
it off. Later on, I see all my TikTok for you, Paige,
the girl.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
With him, Oh so so TikTok helped you out, yeah, basically.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
And so I sent it to him and I was like,
why was this girl at my son's birthday party? Oh?
And he goes, that's my brother's friend.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Time I let a slide. I'm like, whatever, I don't
want I guess uh huh. Time goes on. I see
another video on my for you page of her like
in like a thong and like he's like hanging her
upside down and like her thongs like slipping out her
pants and it like they did a trend. But I'm like,
you are not being that friendly. Like I start, I
started spying. I'm like, you're not that friendly with your
(20:14):
brother's friend, right, And then it goes, oh, she's my assistant.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You you guys swear like, oh, like, why is your
assistant at my son's birthday party?
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Oh? She gets everything for my videos?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What And she wasn't even doing anything.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
No, She's just standing there like she brought her little
brother along for the ride too, Like there was a
little boy there with her. Oh my, she was like
full on, like she was just there to like hang out.
Like whatever. I'm not going to push the issue. One
thing about me is I'm super like like almost like
too chill, Like I feel like I just don't want
(20:53):
yes yes for my son.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I'm like, you don't want to have the argument. I
want yes girl.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
But then later on, like I wanted to take my
son to seat Inside Out too, and he was like
I told him, I'm like, baby, like, oh, we should
go see this movie and he's like, oh, mom, I
already saw it with dad. And the girl's name not
even just the girl, he said her full on name.
I was like oh, And I told him, I'm like,
(21:20):
how come my son is telling me that he went
to the movies to go see like the movies with
this girl and he just starts laughing. I'm like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
So okay, So how do you like now that that's happening,
Like is there like some type of boundary or like no.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
But honestly, I'm not even sure what to think about
him and like that relationship, Like I don't think they're.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Doing relationships in general.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Look because because me, at least for me, if I'm
going into a relationship with a man that has a
baby as a woman, but this is just me and
maybe a lot of women don't.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Think like me.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I don't want to meet your son unless we're like
like for real, for real, because I love kids and
like I know the importance of that, Like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I get attached.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I'm the problem, like because I know I work well
with kids.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So it's like I set that rule for me and
even like as a respect as like a man like
or or the baby mama, like as a woman, like
I don't want to overstep your boundaries or what you like,
you're at the end of the day, you're the mom,
Like there's no one gonna take your spot.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Just know that I'm gonna love and take care of
your kid as well.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
So it's kind of just like, God, I don't know,
Like I don't obviously guys don't really think you know clearly.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
But it's like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's like common sense, yes, Like you can't just be
introducing some random man girls woman to a baby, Like
what kind of example are you also setting for your son,
like or.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
So that idea like what you know, like as a
respect to you too.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
What if what if you decided to call her mom
one day? You know, like and that's not cool for
you either without you even knowing, right, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I've dated men with with you know, kids.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
And I just it's it's a lot, and it's it's
like it's a journey, and it's like I just know
that I'm not ready to meet somebody or meet their
family in general without making sure like all these boxes
are checked off. And it's like I think it's just
healthier that way for sure, because you know, it's a baby,
(23:38):
Like they are young, they have like emotions and feelings
and you just got to take care of them too,
And I feel like it's just maybe a little bit selfish.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I don't know, but I'm happy that you guys have
a healthy.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Relationship and co parenting. That's very beneficial for the baby
for sure. But so you guys don't do content anymore then.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Here and there, Yeah, like you'll ask me to like
film videos. But I kind of stopped with him for
a while because this guy that I was talking to, like, yeah,
my baby daddy was like for some reason, his like
biggest op, like he never met him nothing. But I
think he honestly just like jealousy of like successful he was.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And insecure's call it secure.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
He like didn't compare to him at all, but he
like me filming with my son's dad was like off limits,
like totally cheating to him. Okay, that's how he felt.
So we stopped for a while, but now we do
it like here and there, but it's nothing like it
used to be before. Like if I see like a trend,
I'm like, oh, do this with me.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
But do you guys think as maybe if you get
a little older, you guys would get that together.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I don't know. Look, I'm gonna be totally transparent.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I don't know anything like and maybe look maybe I
maybe people think that I should, but I like not
knowing because I want to know what you really think,
what you really feel, and without the opinions of everybody else.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Honestly, I don't know. Like I think about it a lot,
and I feel like for my son, it's something that
like I want to do only because it makes life
like so much easier, Like I hate hate having to
share him, and I always think, like I feel so
guilty because I'm like, what happens if I meet a
guy one day and I have a kid with him
(25:26):
and my son is never going to be fully in
my life, Like he will never like I will always
have him only figure Yeah, yeah, so like what if
I want to go to Disneyland. What if we want
to like certain stuff, like my son is not going
to be present for it, and that just makes me
so sad, Like I feel like he'll think that like
I'm like replacing him or like starting like over, like
starting a new family, like and I can never give
(25:48):
him like his family, right, So I think about that
a lot, But honestly, I don't know like what the
future has in store. I feel like it was it's
nothing that's like never again, right, But honestly, right now,
I'm like not even really thinking about it. I feel
like I'm like, you're happy, thriving and happy on my
(26:08):
own right now, but I'm not like a post.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, I mean obviously it's like time goes by and
like you guys get older and like probably be more mature,
like you guys were together probably very young, super young,
so it's like, you know, all that is in your
head is that toxicity and like this, but I think
with growth maybe who knows.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
I like that you have the door a little bit.
It's not like a cry like you're like it's about
to be shut, but we'll see.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Like every other week it's open shut.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
We'll see all right, So I want to know, girl,
you've gotten three bbls.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
How why what? I need to stop going to cream barbecue?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Okay, so walk me through what made you want to
get your body done?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Like honestly and why three?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Why are we here? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Honestly, It's something that I've always wanted to do since
high school. Girl, Like I would put like shirts my
butt and like stare at myself in the mirror because
the Kardashians, like because of the Kardashians, like I would
be like damn, like if I just had a little
bit of ass, but yeah, my bill Like before my
BBLS was like literally stick stick, no boobs, no button, nothing.
(27:34):
So after I gave birth, I was like at my
lowest point, like mentally, like I hated my body, like
I would not be able to go out. One day
I went to the club for my friend was hosting
the club and I was getting ready and I literally
sat there crying like I hate the way I look
in everything that I'm wearing, and I'm gonna go next
(27:57):
to all these girls who look amazing, Like I just
felt like I was at my lowest point. And then
I was like I've always wanted to get a B bill,
So I as soon as I got to that point,
I had met with a doctor, but he said that
I had to wait at least six months after giving
birth for like my muscles to go back into place.
(28:19):
So as soon as it I literally scheduled the appointment
for that six month mark to get my surgery.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
She's like, not one second later and soon.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
So as soon as it hit the six month mark,
I got my surgery, and I just wasn't satisfied. Okay,
I did another one. I did them all in Beverly Hills,
same doctor, No, all different doctors, she said.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
She said, I'm going on a trial ride, like we're
testing all the flavors.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yes, so my son's dad paid for two of them. Okay,
first too.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You know what, I agree to that because you know,
as someone that's gotten their body done before kids, like
I need that to be known, Like if you want
me to look this body down makeup, yeah, you're paying
for the next one. Like if you want me to
have kids, you better have that ready, like be ready,
(29:14):
because you're gonna if you still want to fall in
love with me with this ass and this waste, Like
pay up, baby, But okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Huh yeah. So I got the first one and then
literally as soon as I did another consultation like oh,
I'm not happy, and they're like, yeah, well you still
have like more fat that we could do another one.
And then they told me like, oh, it doesn't always happen,
like you don't always get the looks you want the
first time, like usually have to do two three rounds,
(29:43):
which I'm like, I don't know about that, but that's
what I was told. So we did the first one.
I was like, okay, happier but not what I wanted.
And then we did another one and then my family
was like, you need to chill. They thought that I
was addicted to I mean, like be so for real,
(30:04):
Like my mom was genuinely like you're addicted, Like you
need to stop. Okay, So I did the second one
and then I did the last one after well, I
got my boobs done as I was moving out from
my son's dads, so like we were like I got
them done, and then we like were fighting and like
literally the next week I was out, Oh my god,
(30:28):
but the boobs I had to pay for myself. I
didn't want to pay for that, so I paid for that,
I got a breast lift and then implants. And then
during that surgery, I had told him, oh, I also
got chin leight bom.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
You know what, to each their own.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
You're a woman of your own body. You could do
whatever the hell you want, for sure. Have you gotten
judged for it a lot because of it?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
But and then so as I like did the augmentation,
I told him like, oh, like, by the way, I
also like, I'm thinking about getting another BBL, like I've
had two, and he was like, yeah, you definitely could.
But we had to get fat from like other places
because I didn't have a lot and the first time
I own first two times I only got it from
(31:16):
like three sixty and then this time I had to
get it from my arms, my thighs. She's like, the next.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
One's gonna be the toes.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
They're like, there's nowhere else to get it from.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Literally, so and that one I was already like separated
from my son's dad and living on my own, and
he was the only one who knew that I was
getting the surgery. None of my family knew so and
at the time we were doing fifty to fifty, like
you have him here, I have him there, so I
scheduled it for when I didn't have my son. I'm
(31:50):
so crazy, Like, how are you going to recover from
a BBL and take care of a three year old
on your own?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Not one but three? Yes, right after?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So crazy?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Okay, so if he's three, what's the timeline of the
surgery each year?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I probably yeah, yeah, I was probably like one each year.
You're just not satisfied with it with the yeah, and
I'm still not like I love the way that I look,
but I feel like it's a little bit too natural
for my liking, Like I want just a little bit more,
you know, when you're like super swollen after surgery, Like yeah,
but and that's.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
What I cute. Yes, but then when it sets down,
gravity does its thing.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Like where's my ass on? And for three times, I'm like,
this does not look like it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
She's like, not for this amount of money, Like, dude.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
When I get the commentsary baby all looks so natural,
I'm like, is that what I want to hear?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
But I think, honestly, you're beautiful, You're gorgeous. I do
want to say.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
She just confirmed to me that her nose is not fake,
and I hate it, and I wish that she said
that she got it done because I'm gonna be hating.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I love it like I've always I've been too scared
to do it.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
But you are very beautiful, and I think with or
without surgery, I think your heart is gold and you
seem and you look and you are in case nobody
ever tells you you are a good mother and a
good person. So don't ever feel like you're less than
or that, because you know it's normal you have a postpartum.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You know it's women are meant to feel like that.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Even if I haven't had kids, I've had very low
moments where I'm just like, I fucking hate my body.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I hate what I look like, and so I get
what that means. But as from a girl to a girl,
girl's girl, you're very beautiful.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
And you deserve all the love.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
No, no, but I just feel like it's important, like
to remind people like you know, and I if your
guys judging her because of all these surgeries, then don't
be a hater because you just can you couldn't and
you just.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
You know you would want to.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
It is what it is, and all right, you guys,
we're gonna want a quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Welcome back you guys.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
You also do OnlyFans, yeah as well, which go ahead, girl,
go off, do what you'd want to do. I did
it for a little bit too, oh period, I did.
I don't anymore. Tried it out, just wasn't my thing. Yeah,
I want to know what led you there?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
How's that experience for you.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
All that m I think I found out because my
friend was doing it at the time, and she was
doing really really well on there, and she was telling
me that, like she wasn't even posting like crazy stuff
like I don't know if you know that girl, Sophie Rain.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I feel like I've heard of her.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Yeah, she doesn't even do nothing on there, like multi
millionaire and she's eighteen years old. Go off, some eighteen
years old girl. I can't believe I heard of her.
She's like going crazy right now. No, okay. Anyways, So
I was just thinking, like, okay, like let me get
on there and like try it out and just see
(35:06):
like where it takes me. And I've been doing like
good on there and I don't post like the craziest
things like I feel like people think, oh f and
they instantly.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, it's a bad negative like, but there's people.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
On there that literally post like working out content, Like
what it is this for you to subscribe to a
creator to get like personal content like you're messaging them
and yeah, like it's more like a personal level. But
my content is like not that bad, honestly, it's just
more of like a like more of like an explicit
(35:44):
version of me, like just like without the sweats you on.
But yeah, I get it, people, I get so much
hate for it because I'm a mom, right and I
get it. But at the same time, I'm like, come on, like,
my three year old lives a very good life and
entertain that also, yes, And I'm like, he has a
(36:04):
savings account, he has a roth Ira, like he is
set up for the future, and why am I going
to stop like when I'm at my prime and I
could be doing stuff for him like this and setting
him up. And everyone's like telling me, like, your son's
gonna hate you, like you're such a bad mom, I
can't believe you would do this. I'm like, maybe, like
(36:26):
there's that possibility, but I also think he's going to
be very happy when he.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Gets to that.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
At that nineteen and like has all of this money
in his bank when the time comes, if you ever
want to explain that to him, Like I think that's
like a learning lesson, like not even just like not
to judge other people, because there's obviously people that do
other things that.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Are actual strippers or prostitutes.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Or whatever, and it's like there's a difference and no
matter what, like not to judge those people. It's like
a learning experience and people can do as they please
and maybe it wasn't for me and it works out
for you and that's amazing, Like there's no shame and
whatever women want to do with their bodies and how
they want to do it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
But growing up with strict parents, do they.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Know or how was that? If I'm being honest, I
don't know if they know.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Shut up.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
They've never brought it up to me.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Okay, so they're not in social media, Like they're not.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
They are, Okay. Things got really rocky with them when
me and my my dad, my son's father broke up.
Things got really rocky with them because I felt like
they thought that I like left to go like party
and like live a crazy life, Like.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I went to go get babls literally but I feel like.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
They think that I'm like not being a good mom.
So things got super rocky with them. Like I went
through a period with them where I didn't talk to them,
Like it was like maybe like three months, which is
a long time because I was super close to my
mom especially so and then I had talked to them
for the first time at my son's birthday. So yeah,
(38:08):
things were super rocky with them. And I feel like
I'm sure that they know I have them blocked on everything.
I'm sure that they know now because I'm sure they
see clips, comments other people's videos, and then I've talked
about it on a podcast before, so if they saw
the podcast, they know they have, but they've never brought
it up to me ever, right, But I always never
(38:30):
like that I was pulling my breath around them. But
I mean, honestly, I feel like I'm just at a
point in my life now where I'm like I'm an
adult and at the end of the day, like I
love them so much and I respect their opinion, but
they're not going to pay my bills.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
For me exactly or your sons.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Yeah, like you have a whole nother you have a
human Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Like to worry about how is your relationship with him, Like,
what is like your obviously you know you love him
your door, how is it like, I don't know, like
what is like baby?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Like I love him so much as my baby. I
literally saw him this morning because I went to give
his dad a ride, and I'm just like, oh my gosh,
I miss him so much. Like a week away from
him feels like.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Also he goes for like a week.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Yes, we do weeks at a time, so we switch
off every Friday. It's because we were doing two days
and then that was like and then we started doing
three days, and it was just was so unstable, Like
it's like we were starting to get a routine with him,
and then I have to give him back.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
You feel like, yeah, that's a little bit more confusing
for him.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Yeah, so it's hard.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
It is crazy.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
The dad tried doing a month. I was like, no,
you're crazy. He'll be a whole nother baby by the
time I get him back.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
He doesn't live or like you guys don't live near
each other.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
We were like eighteen minutes. No, no, no, not eighteen minutes.
We're literally eight minutes away. But I recently just moved
and now I'm like forty five minutes away from him.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, but it works out well. Yeah, what about school, Well,
he doesn't go to school yet.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
He's a baby's doing Yeah, And that too is like
where I'm like, oh, like it's gonna get so rough
because we're super like big on, like we think we're
gonna homeschool him.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
You should yeah, yeah, I feel like, what are your reasons?
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I just feel like I have so much like time
on my hands, and I have a lot of downtime
that I'd rather my son be at home with me
versus like another adult for eight hours of the day
where he's not getting like one on one time. And
also I feel like public schools are scary and like
weird these days.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I agree, I agree because I don't know, Like I
just feel like I know there's bullies, even there's baby bullies.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
And it's sad.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, And it's like I don't know if I want.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
To do that, and not everyone necessarily agrees with the way,
Like maybe there's certain things like in school that I
don't agree that they teach, but it's like there's things
that I just I don't want my kids to learn
that I feel like there's other things to know, Like
when I grew up, they never taught me how to
write a check. They never taught me, Like I'm not saying.
I'm saying like in high school and all that shit too,
like like they just there's things that they don't teach you.
(41:05):
And I feel like three is like a prime age
to like teach I don't know, just like I feel
like the baby baby them a little bit, like I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Yes, honestly, like everyone's telling me like, oh, what is it?
Like what aren't my families? Like when are you gonna
sign him up for preschool? Like he already knows all
of that stuff, Like my son is super smart. He
knows all of that and more so, I'm like I'd
rather like teach him one on one at his pace
when he could be learning like different things, versus him
sitting in a classroom of thirty five kids with a
(41:37):
different adult, Like he's gonna be spending like six hours
a day with another person when he could be with me,
Like I would either even like rather hire a tutor
or a teacher to come to my house and be
in the safety of my own home.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I guess the only thing that it would probably be
like it's for some parents for sure. I know my
cousin and I have a cousin that homeschool is all
four of her kids. Wow, So I'm like, damn, Like
you don't catch a break at all for sure, you know,
and socializing the kids, socializing with other people, Like I
get that.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
So it's like finding that balance to.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Like, you know, he has to live a normal life
and like go to the park and play with friends
and you know, see other people.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
But girl, you're the mom. You do whatever the hell
you want.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like, and that's what I don't like about social media
is like they paint this picture and they feel like
because they see something, they're able to create this whole
story about you and control your narrative when in reality
it's not that. How do you handle obviously, like every
the hate and just everything.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Honestly, I'm so good at blocking out everything, Like I
don't respond to anything. There was only one time where
I did lash out. We had gone to Hawaii with
all my friends and it was my time to not
have my son and everyone like we were on live
and everyone was coming for me. Like, girl, go be
a mom, Go take care of your kid. Like, mom,
(43:15):
am I supposed to do when it's his Like what
do people think, like when it's his dad's turn to
have him? What am I supposed to do? And that's
what I think, Like for my parents too, like what
do you want me to do? Like sit at home
crying that and like staring at a picture of him?
Like genuinely, what am I supposed to do? If I
don't have him? It's more than okay for me to
(43:36):
go to Hawaii. I didn't take my time that I
was supposed to have my son and say hey, can
you guys watch him so I could go to Hawaii?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Like I use my that's different.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, right, I used the time that his dad had
to be with him to go on vacation.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
And I don't think there's anything bad that at all.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Yeah. So, yeah, that was the only time that I've
ever lashed out on social media, but for the most part,
or keep my mouth shut. Yeah, when people.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Say stuff, I might at this point again, they're not
paying your bills, yeah you know, And I say social media,
I'm not saying you know your parents and I'm sure
that you know your parents have you know, good intention,
Like obviously they know they've lived longer than everybody and
h but you're grown now, I mean your mom, Like,
I feel like everything changes and I'm excited for you
(44:25):
and for you know, for your baby Noah and the
possibility possibilities for you and you know what you what
you can do? What is what are the what are
the plans for you? What do you feel like now
that okay your mom? Obviously shit gets more serious? You know,
life is like you put life into another perspective.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Where are you at now?
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Oh my gosh. Honestly, I feel like a lot of things,
like I always have to like.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Like, I always have to like double think everything because
I'm like, what about my son and his dad? Like
I can't just buy a house anywhere. I always have
to think, like, Okay, well I need to be close
to his dad. So a lot of like the decisions
that I make now, I always have to think about
my son and like what his dad is doing. So
it's like like I always have to be connected to
(45:19):
the dad.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
So like me living like forty five minutes away right now,
I'm like, dang, and I'm thinking like hopefully this is
gonna be my last year renting and next year I'll
be actually buying a house, and I'm like, are we
supposed to buy houses in the same city? Like yeah,
So definitely like a lot to think about.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
With him that.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
What about your career, what do you feel like you're.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Honestly, I don't know. I feel like this year, I
definitely took a break and I slacked too much. But
I feel like I had like such a strict dad
and then I got pregnant and then I had the baby,
so like this time, like on my own, I almost
used it as like a way to experience life. And
(46:10):
I don't have any regrets because I feel like I
like this was my first time on a plane. Right.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Oh, you feel like you grew up a little bit
too fast, like because you had your baby young.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes, and I wasn't Like with my son's dad. All
we did was like be at home and be a family.
Like we never went out. Yeah, you skipped the whole Yes,
So I feel like now I finally got to like
I never went to clubs, never traveled, never go through
all that. So now I use like this whole year
(46:39):
to like do like experience life, and I don't regret it.
But I definitely took a lot of time away from
my social media. So yeah, this year, I definitely want
to like get back on YouTube and yeah, I get
back on my grind because I'm slacking.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, and I think that I think that's fine though,
Like I want to call it slacking. I want to
call it like, you know, I much.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Needed probably a break, like you needed to. You're recalibrating,
like life happens so fast for you and you're just
like who am I? Like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
And that's normal, Like, yeah, you were with him at
what did you say, eighteen nineteen? Yeah, yeah, like you
were with him at that and then you had the baby.
You're practically married.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
You're married, and like, so I get it. So don't
feel bad. Do not feel bad for where you're at
right now.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
You're successful again, you're a great mom, You're beautiful, and
it's okay, Like.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Time's there's always.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Going to be time, you know, it's never too late,
and I just, you know, there's I'm twenty seven and
I feel like I still don't even feel like what
the fuck I'm going to do? Like, you know, I'm
not going to I don't am I I don't know
if I'm going to keep continuing podcasting for the rest
of my life, like or if I get married the
day tomorrow. Like life is constantly changing and we're meant to.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Go ahead and grow and learn with it.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
It doesn't stop.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
You just grow with it. And taking those breaks is
so necessary. It's better for you. You know, you went
through a lot.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
You had depression, you had you know, your postpartum and
everything like, so it don't be hard on yourself. You're
just you're doing the best that you can and every way,
and you have to honor the things, the good things
that you have done, you know, And like, maybe it
didn't work out with the baby daddy, and that's okay,
there's always a reason why.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But you're successful.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
You have a house, you have a bad hoss car,
your body's bomb, your kid is healthy, he's happy, your
relationship are good and that's it.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
And life is going to continue to grow and be good.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Yeah, to be thankful for for sure.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I tho's percent agree.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
But I appreciate you being here and sharing your heart
and your story.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
And I loved getting to know you and.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Decide that probably a lot of people don't see. So
I appreciate you opening your heart and connecting with me.
Please share your socials so that people can go ahead
and follow you and Noah and all your dreams and
everything that you'll be doing.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Oh my gosh, my TikTok got hacked, so my username
is crazy. But if you guys just search up Bella
and then my last name R E t A m
O s A, you can find me on everything.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
Okay, make sure you guys follow her, follow her journey,
support her. We love women, supporting women, so don't be
a hating ask women.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Please.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No one likes that. We are all here to love
and support and just be there for one another. And
if you ever need anything, I am here.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Makes you you guys like, comment, subscribe and I will
see you guys next Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Overcome for Podcasts is a production of Iheart'm podcast Network
All right, you guys, welcome back to the Overcover Podcast.
I'm your host, Jenna Kalopez. Thank you guys so much
for being here. I'm excited because I have the one,
the only, the beautiful Bella.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't want to butcher last name.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
How do you say it?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Do you see how she says it? I can't. I
didn't want a butcher.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna get clipped to
get fucked up about it. But I'm so happy that
you're here. I obviously this is our first time meeting,
and obviously you know, please get comfortable, Please fill at home.
I know that's hard, especially you know, as people meeting
for the first time, but I promise you I don't
bite no.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
But I I've seen you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I think more than anything, I'm a huge fan of
the mother that you are. I seen your content about
your baby boy, and that's literally all that it is
on your page, and I love that. But I also
know that you have another life, like obviously you know
your career and whatever you do, like I want, I
want to get into I want to know Bella. I
want to know how she grew up and and where
(01:08):
she's at now because I know that you've been on
other podcast, but your first time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
He thank you for having me, of.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Course, So let's get into it because we were already
talking about rbbls and getting our bodies done and all that.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But I want to know.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Before the when you were born, your your childhood, Like,
how was it for you growing up?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Obviously you have a son, right, what's his name?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Noah?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Noah? Yes, I know, I was in my head. I'm
like the arc Noah's are.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
How old is he? He's three? Before and June.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I love that age.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I have nieces and nephews like at that age, and I.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Think it's the most sweetest.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Like.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Their love. And he's a boy, and like, I'm sure
he adores you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
He's a mama's boy boy for sure.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I love it. Okay, Well to pass the mic to you.
Please introduce yourself.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
For those that don't know you, your childhood, what you
do all that gets chalk.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Hi everyone. My name is Bela. I am a lifestyle
content creator. I've been on social media since twenty twenty one.
I started during COVID, so I haven't been in the
game as long as others, but it feels like a
long time. It's I can only imagine for people like
that were there in the start. But anyways, so yeah,
I started in twenty twenty one. I started making content
(02:29):
with my son's dad and we started like as like
a couples, and we grew into a family and now
I'm more like solo mommy content. But I grew up
in a family of six. There's three boys and three girls.
Yeah okay, and I was the second to youngest.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh I'm the second youngest too.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh yeah, everyone else was older than me. So they're
all like in their thirties now. And then I have
a younger sister who's twenty three.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
How old are you, I'm twenty five. I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
So yeah, so yeah, my dad was pretty strict growing up,
especially with the girls of course Latinos. Yes, yes, it's
the worst. Like I hated it. Where's your family from?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Like I looked at him, Okay, yeah, my grandma's from there.
Yeah so my family's yeah, so I get it. They're strict,
you know, yeah there, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
They're mainly like my life growing up was literally just
like living at sports games. That's all because of the boys. Yes,
literally baseball games, baseball practices, that's all. It was, but
I can't complain. I feel like I lived a very
good childhood, like never went a night without eating. So yeah,
(03:50):
forever blessed for my parents. I love that life that
they gave us. I think now being a mom, like
I have so much respect for my parents. It's like
they had six kids and they always made it happen.
Like I hear so many stories of like like my
friends and like how they grew up, and or like
(04:11):
just like my son's father, like how he grew up.
And my life was totally different.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
So it's hard when somebody else lives a different life
than you, and then you kind of like trying to
mesh that and understand each other. It's like complicated. It's
like but no, like I'm not this person, and like,
but I want you to understand me, but I also
want to understand you.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like it's like, yeah, because my.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Family obviously you know, I don't know if you know,
but people know that, Like you know, my mom was
a singer and all that stuff, and I witnessed I've
witnessed struggle with you know, how my mom took care
of she was a single mom of five. So it's
like it was, I've seen it, but a lot of
people don't know that. And obviously she worked hard and like,
(04:58):
you know, did what she could, all five of us
and whatever. So a lot of people think, you know,
I'm as, I'm spoiled or like whatever. Realistically it's not,
maybe like other people were, but I still maintained like
some type of humbleness and just like, yeah, I'm still
a normal person and would love to like connect with
people on a different level, if that makes sense. So
(05:21):
that's why I was like, oh, you know what, like
I want to sit down, let's have a chit chat
with Bella, like I want to know, like you know
who she is, and like, obviously was your boy planned?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
No, no, okay, so take me through that. What happened?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Like, yeah, I was so scared. So I was twenty
one when I got pregnant, and my son's dad was
twenty okay, so pretty young.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
How long had you guys been together?
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Oh, maybe two and a half three years? Okay, we
already had like our social media thing, okay, Okay, so yeah,
but at the time, my dad was still strict, like
he wasn't allowed to be in my room at my house, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Because you still live there.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yes, I still live with my parents, so yeah, And
it was like I had to be home by a
certain time. Yeah, it was like eleven o'clock, Where are
you at? What time are you coming home? So my
parents were still very much strict, like I was not
allowed to go on vacation, nothing, none of that with
my boyfriend. So I literally just had a feeling like
(06:22):
I didn't miss my period. Well it had been like
two or three days. Yeah, but it wasn't like I
wasn't anything out of the ordinary because I had such
an irregular period, So I wasn't like, oh my gosh,
it's been three months and nothing. I just literally had
a feeling. And like two days before I had a
dream that I was like talking to a baby girl
and she was like calling me mommy. And I woke
(06:43):
up with my hand on my stomach. And that's what
made me take up pregnancies.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Okay, And well turned out to not be a girl.
But I had so many dreams about a baby girl
that I thought that I was gonna have a girl.
But so that made me like be like I need
to take a pregnancy test. And I had told my
son's dad and he's like, no, you're not pregnant, and
so I was like we literally even made a bet
(07:11):
about it. I don't remember what the bet was, but
we made a bet. He's like, I bet you you're not.
I bet you you're not. So we had gone to
get a pregnancy test and then he took me back
home to drop me off, and I took it in
my parents' bathroom upstairs. Oh my god, girl, Oh I'm
so scared. I was being so quiet and then positive
(07:32):
and I was like, oh, like, this wasn't the first
pregnancy test that I've done.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
It.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I feel like every girl takes them, like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Of course, do you know the scared Like, yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
So I had taken a couple before.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
But she's like, it's gonna be negative.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
It's always negative. So when I saw the positive, like
right away, I was like, oh my gosh. And he
was still waiting outside. So I had like shoved it
in my pocket and I went downstairs and I told him.
I'm like, oh my gosh. He was so chill though,
like totally different family, Like his mom would have been
like okay, but mine it's like totally different. So I
(08:05):
think we went like two months without telling my family, okay,
and then one day he was just like, we have
to tell them, like we have to, like we need
to know if you need to go to the doctor,
like what you need to do, because we were looking
everything up on Google, like when should you see us
a doctor when you find out you're pregnant, And he's like,
we need to tell them, like we need to know
(08:26):
like what to do, and so I was like, oh
my gosh, so I stayed He had an apartment at
this time, and I stayed at his apartment and he's like,
I'll just go tell them myself. No, yes, dude, I
was so.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, no, yeah, Carrie, I would ship my parents, but
go off.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I shut off my phone. And he went to tell
my parents, and my mom cried and she said that
she already knew mol just saying that, but she was like, yeah,
I already knew. Tell her like just to come home.
And then my dad was just like, okay, it's hard
to come home. But it wasn't the reaction I was expecting.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You thought it was going to be, like I thought
it was gonna be like get the fuck out my
house type shit.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Not necessarily them kicking me out. But I thought that
they were going to be so mad, like your lectures
and all of that.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But were you used to that growing up?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
That my brother had a kid in high school? Okay,
so my Solard, my sister whole nother story also like
moved to Texas with her mom and like just popped
out a baby and oh okay, that's how my dad
found out when she had the baby. So I feel
like they just had a lot of like there was
a lot of trauma. Yeah. So I was expecting like
(09:39):
a different reaction because they all had kids super young
and it was like, oh my gosh, what are we
going to do? Like I became a theon like kindergarten.
So I was just expecting them to react different. But honestly,
I think because we already had like an income going
for us, that they were like, okay, like you guys,
(09:59):
they can do it. Yeah, So they weren't really like
scared for us. But I came home back that night
and then they just cried and then the next morning
made my doctor's appointment for me. Specially, it went a
lot easier than I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
And was this before or after body down first time?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Or this was I had the baby first, okay I
started Okay, all right, so we'll skip that it so obviously.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You had him, yes, love him. How has life been
as a mom these last three years?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
My gosh, well, the beginning was not what I expected
at all. Super hard, so hard, Like so I was
comparing myself a lot to the other like girls who
were pregnant at the same time as me, because I
feel like I got pregnant as like a couple other
like influencers who already had their body done. So like after,
(10:56):
I'm like, girl, how come we were able to snap
back like right away? Like that's scared me.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, I'm like, now that I got my body, and
I'm like, and they tell you to wait to have kids,
I'm like, I do not want to, Like when am
I gonna have kids?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'd rather be bodied down now than to have kids. Yeah,
but that is scary. It's like damn, like you invest
all this money and all this time and the healing
and all that, but I mean you got yours done
after But obviously you were saying that it was it
was it was hard, it was difficult, right, And how
was it with your baby? You guys aren't together. No, Okay,
(11:32):
can I ask why or what? Like what shifted or
what changed?
Speaker 3 (11:38):
And when we first first started dating, we were super young.
He was eighteen, I was nineteen. It was so toxic,
so toxic, and obviously I know, and I think that
it stems a lot from the way he was raised
and the difference from the way he was raised to
the way I was raised. And I think that like
(11:58):
had everything to do with that. Like I would tell him,
like we have to go to therapy, like we have
to figure this out, and he was totally like anti therapy,
like I don't need that. I don't need that, Like
that's not going to do nothing for me, Like how
is this random person going to tell me? Like yeah what?
So we were super super toxic as teens, like so toxic,
(12:20):
but things got better, like when we started doing social
media together and like making that income, like we became
more like a like a team. And then when I
got pregnant, he was the best, Like I could not
have asked for a better partner, like super caring, super loving,
like did everything I needed, Like I would literally lay
(12:40):
in bed and sleep all day and he would just
like buy me food brun my feet, Like I could
not have asked for a better partner. And then after
two same thing, he was good. But I feel like
what really caused like the problems after birth was it
was just so hard to like care for a newborn
(13:01):
and then I feel like not having that one on
one time like with him, and like me being tired,
over stimulated, like figuring out motherhood him like figuring out
how to be a dad, and then also like working together,
Oh my gosh, it would be like we need to film,
we need to do that, and I'm like, I'm tired,
like I was up all night. So like I feel
(13:23):
like the tension was just like there, like any little
thing would cause an argument. But yeah, eventually he was
just like no, like this is not working anymore. And
then we continued to live together for a year. We
broke up for a year, okay, and I lived with
(13:45):
him still.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
How was that? Like would you date other people? Would
he date other people?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I don't know what he was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I was so in love with him, Like I wasn't
expecting to cry, but like I was like so in
love with him that like I couldnot like.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You didn't see anything else.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Yeah, So like that's the whole reason I stayed there
for the whole year was because like I was like,
there's no way that like I could be with someone else,
Like I want my family together, dude. I would literally
be crying, like holding my baby, like I'm so sorry
that I did this, like to you, Like all I
wanted was for him. I wasn't expecting to cry, but
(14:32):
I wasn't like expect like I never ever ever wanted
that from my son. So like I felt like I
let him down.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, and I feel like I can I feel that
because like when you have a kid, you want to
be able just to have that loving surrounding family, yeah,
and give that to them and like have this perfect
idea and this like everything that's in your head.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Like since I was a little girl, that's all I
ever imagine imagine, like was getting married, having kids. Like
so I feel like when I had my baby with him,
like that's everything that I wanted and I would like
literally expect like the engagement ring. So like the breakup,
I was like.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Huh, like it was it threw you off?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Yeah, And so like I felt so bad for my baby,
and that's why I stayed living there with him because
I was like, there's no way I can be separated
from my son and share him, and like I really
just wanted nothing more than to be with my son's
dad at the time. And then we got back together
and like tried to make things work for a little bit,
and then we just broke up again. And then that's
(15:33):
why I was like, Okay, I like I can't keep
doing this. Thank you. Yeah, I was like I can't
keep doing this. And then things kind of started getting
a little bit toxic, right, and so I was like, Okay,
I think it's best that like I move out and.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
All right, you guys, we're gonna want a quick break
and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Welcome back, you guys.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, it's really really good, super healthy, Like I could
not have asked for a better co parent. I see
all of these like talk.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh yeah, and I'm my god, I see all these
videos on tiktoks of like moms dropping off their babies
with like their dad and like they do like the
little POV and stuff like that, like oh, come drop
off my baby co parenting with they're toxic, and I'm
like and then they spill the beans and I'm like,
I mean, I kind of live.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
For it, you know, yea, Like I'm watching I'm like, damn.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
You know crazy, But it's like it's better. It's better
for your son, it's better for you, Yeah, Because then
that's also another stress and a lot of worry, like
is he okay?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Is my son okay?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And having that confidence that your baby daddy's gonna take
care of.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Him, yes, oh my gosh. Yes. And I feel like
that's what gives me so much peace of mind, is
that we're on such a good like stage in our
relationship right now that like I can call him and
like talk to him, like we talk about everything, like you.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Guys are best friend.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yes, I'm like so like we're in such a good
place in our relationship right now. It was really rough
when I had first moved out, but now we're like
at such a good stage in a relationship, and it
makes me easy. You're like I can call you and
FaceTime you for thirty minutes and see what my son's doing,
or take them to Disneyland and things like aren't weird
so that I make respect. Yes, it's so much easier now.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I want to know how it is when you guys
are dating other people because this sounds like this sounds
really good, honestly great co parenting. But I'm gonna be
honest with you as a girl, I maybe.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Maybe everybody can you know, chime in and whoever's watching
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
But like.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
If my man's who has a kid with somebody.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Else, like you know, I get like the birthday parties
and I get going out like.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
I don't know about Disney Girl like things like that.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Agree, I said I would never date a man who
has a kid. Okay, having a kid okay, because I
would never write it's toxic. But I wouldn't never tolerate that, Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But the thing is, how do you guys do have you?
Have you dated and he knows or has he dated
and he knows him.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I've been in like talking stages, but I've never been
in like another relation. But does he know something serious? Yes,
he knew about it?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Okay, yeah it did he get toalkdic about it? No?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
But and to be honest, I'm not sure if he
ever told me this, Like he didn't want the guy around,
right son, but like he didn't care what I did.
He just didn't want the guy around my son only
because he knew like that the relationship was like and
it was valid. He just knew that it wasn't nothing
serious and you shouldn't be bringing my son around this, right. Yeah,
(18:43):
so I thought it was very valid. And honestly, I
don't know what he's doing. He says that he's not
dating anyone. But I know that my son has been
around like other girls, because he'll tell me.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Your son will tell you. Yeah, okay, so how you see.
I don't get guy though, Like, why do you play
that game? It's right you can girl? Why can you?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
So you know what happened. My son had a birthday
party in the summer, and at the time we were
like super we were kind of rocky and our co
parenting relationship, uh uh huh. And I had saw this
girl there but she looked super young. But I'm like,
who is this girl? But she was hanging out with
his younger brother. So in my head, I'm like, oh,
(19:27):
that's his little girlfriend. Because the girl was tiny, I
just thought it was a brother's girlfriend. So I brushed
it off. Later on, I see all my TikTok for you, Paige,
the girl.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
With him, Oh so so TikTok helped you out, yeah, basically.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
And so I sent it to him and I was like,
why was this girl at my son's birthday party? Oh?
And he goes, that's my brother's friend.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Time I let a slide. I'm like, whatever, I don't
want I guess uh huh. Time goes on. I see
another video on my for you page of her like
in like a thong and like he's like hanging her
upside down and like her thongs like slipping out her
pants and it like they did a trend. But I'm like,
you are not being that friendly. Like I start, I
started spying. I'm like, you're not that friendly with your
(20:14):
brother's friend, right, And then it goes, oh, she's my assistant.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You you guys swear like, oh, like, why is your
assistant at my son's birthday party?
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Oh? She gets everything for my videos?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What And she wasn't even doing anything.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
No, She's just standing there like she brought her little
brother along for the ride too, Like there was a
little boy there with her. Oh my, she was like
full on, like she was just there to like hang out.
Like whatever. I'm not going to push the issue. One
thing about me is I'm super like like almost like
too chill, Like I feel like I just don't want
(20:53):
yes yes for my son.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I'm like, you don't want to have the argument. I
want yes girl.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
But then later on, like I wanted to take my
son to seat Inside Out too, and he was like
I told him, I'm like, baby, like, oh, we should
go see this movie and he's like, oh, mom, I
already saw it with dad. And the girl's name not
even just the girl, he said her full on name.
I was like oh, And I told him, I'm like,
(21:20):
how come my son is telling me that he went
to the movies to go see like the movies with
this girl and he just starts laughing. I'm like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
So okay, So how do you like now that that's happening,
Like is there like some type of boundary or like no.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
But honestly, I'm not even sure what to think about
him and like that relationship, Like I don't think they're.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Doing relationships in general.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Look because because me, at least for me, if I'm
going into a relationship with a man that has a
baby as a woman, but this is just me and
maybe a lot of women don't.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Think like me.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
I don't want to meet your son unless we're like
like for real, for real, because I love kids and
like I know the importance of that, Like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I get attached.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I'm the problem, like because I know I work well
with kids.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So it's like I set that rule for me and
even like as a respect as like a man like
or or the baby mama, like as a woman, like
I don't want to overstep your boundaries or what you like,
you're at the end of the day, you're the mom,
Like there's no one gonna take your spot.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Just know that I'm gonna love and take care of
your kid as well.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
So it's kind of just like, God, I don't know,
Like I don't obviously guys don't really think you know clearly.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
But it's like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's like common sense, yes, Like you can't just be
introducing some random man girls woman to a baby, Like
what kind of example are you also setting for your son,
like or.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
So that idea like what you know, like as a
respect to you too.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
What if what if you decided to call her mom
one day? You know, like and that's not cool for
you either without you even knowing, right, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I've dated men with with you know, kids.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
And I just it's it's a lot, and it's it's
like it's a journey, and it's like I just know
that I'm not ready to meet somebody or meet their
family in general without making sure like all these boxes
are checked off. And it's like I think it's just
healthier that way for sure, because you know, it's a baby,
(23:38):
Like they are young, they have like emotions and feelings
and you just got to take care of them too,
And I feel like it's just maybe a little bit selfish.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I don't know, but I'm happy that you guys have
a healthy.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Relationship and co parenting. That's very beneficial for the baby
for sure. But so you guys don't do content anymore then.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Here and there, Yeah, like you'll ask me to like
film videos. But I kind of stopped with him for
a while because this guy that I was talking to, like, yeah,
my baby daddy was like for some reason, his like
biggest op, like he never met him nothing. But I
think he honestly just like jealousy of like successful he was.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And insecure's call it secure.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
He like didn't compare to him at all, but he
like me filming with my son's dad was like off limits,
like totally cheating to him. Okay, that's how he felt.
So we stopped for a while, but now we do
it like here and there, but it's nothing like it
used to be before. Like if I see like a trend,
I'm like, oh, do this with me.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
But do you guys think as maybe if you get
a little older, you guys would get that together.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I don't know. Look, I'm gonna be totally transparent.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I don't know anything like and maybe look maybe I
maybe people think that I should, but I like not
knowing because I want to know what you really think,
what you really feel, and without the opinions of everybody else.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Honestly, I don't know. Like I think about it a lot,
and I feel like for my son, it's something that
like I want to do only because it makes life
like so much easier, Like I hate hate having to
share him, and I always think, like I feel so
guilty because I'm like, what happens if I meet a
guy one day and I have a kid with him
(25:26):
and my son is never going to be fully in
my life, Like he will never like I will always
have him only figure Yeah, yeah, so like what if
I want to go to Disneyland. What if we want
to like certain stuff, like my son is not going
to be present for it, and that just makes me
so sad, Like I feel like he'll think that like
I'm like replacing him or like starting like over, like
starting a new family, like and I can never give
(25:48):
him like his family, right, So I think about that
a lot, But honestly, I don't know like what the
future has in store. I feel like it was it's
nothing that's like never again, right, But honestly, right now,
I'm like not even really thinking about it. I feel
like I'm like, you're happy, thriving and happy on my
(26:08):
own right now, but I'm not like a post.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, I mean obviously it's like time goes by and
like you guys get older and like probably be more mature,
like you guys were together probably very young, super young,
so it's like, you know, all that is in your
head is that toxicity and like this, but I think
with growth maybe who knows.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
I like that you have the door a little bit.
It's not like a cry like you're like it's about
to be shut, but we'll see.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Like every other week it's open shut.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
We'll see all right, So I want to know, girl,
you've gotten three bbls.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
How why what? I need to stop going to cream barbecue?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Okay, so walk me through what made you want to
get your body done?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Like honestly and why three?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Why are we here? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Honestly, It's something that I've always wanted to do since
high school. Girl, Like I would put like shirts my
butt and like stare at myself in the mirror because
the Kardashians, like because of the Kardashians, like I would
be like damn, like if I just had a little
bit of ass, but yeah, my bill Like before my
BBLS was like literally stick stick, no boobs, no button, nothing.
(27:34):
So after I gave birth, I was like at my
lowest point, like mentally, like I hated my body, like
I would not be able to go out. One day
I went to the club for my friend was hosting
the club and I was getting ready and I literally
sat there crying like I hate the way I look
in everything that I'm wearing, and I'm gonna go next
(27:57):
to all these girls who look amazing, Like I just
felt like I was at my lowest point. And then
I was like I've always wanted to get a B bill,
So I as soon as I got to that point,
I had met with a doctor, but he said that
I had to wait at least six months after giving
birth for like my muscles to go back into place.
(28:19):
So as soon as it I literally scheduled the appointment
for that six month mark to get my surgery.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
She's like, not one second later and soon.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
So as soon as it hit the six month mark,
I got my surgery, and I just wasn't satisfied. Okay,
I did another one. I did them all in Beverly Hills,
same doctor, No, all different doctors, she said.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
She said, I'm going on a trial ride, like we're
testing all the flavors.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yes, so my son's dad paid for two of them. Okay,
first too.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You know what, I agree to that because you know,
as someone that's gotten their body done before kids, like
I need that to be known, Like if you want
me to look this body down makeup, yeah, you're paying
for the next one. Like if you want me to
have kids, you better have that ready, like be ready,
(29:14):
because you're gonna if you still want to fall in
love with me with this ass and this waste, Like
pay up, baby, But okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
Huh yeah. So I got the first one and then
literally as soon as I did another consultation like oh,
I'm not happy, and they're like, yeah, well you still
have like more fat that we could do another one.
And then they told me like, oh, it doesn't always happen,
like you don't always get the looks you want the
first time, like usually have to do two three rounds,
(29:43):
which I'm like, I don't know about that, but that's
what I was told. So we did the first one.
I was like, okay, happier but not what I wanted.
And then we did another one and then my family
was like, you need to chill. They thought that I
was addicted to I mean, like be so for real,
(30:04):
Like my mom was genuinely like you're addicted, Like you
need to stop. Okay, So I did the second one
and then I did the last one after well, I
got my boobs done as I was moving out from
my son's dads, so like we were like I got
them done, and then we like were fighting and like
literally the next week I was out, Oh my god,
(30:28):
but the boobs I had to pay for myself. I
didn't want to pay for that, so I paid for that,
I got a breast lift and then implants. And then
during that surgery, I had told him, oh, I also
got chin leight bom.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
You know what, to each their own.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
You're a woman of your own body. You could do
whatever the hell you want, for sure. Have you gotten
judged for it a lot because of it?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
But and then so as I like did the augmentation,
I told him like, oh, like, by the way, I
also like, I'm thinking about getting another BBL, like I've
had two, and he was like, yeah, you definitely could.
But we had to get fat from like other places
because I didn't have a lot and the first time
I own first two times I only got it from
(31:16):
like three sixty and then this time I had to
get it from my arms, my thighs. She's like, the next.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
One's gonna be the toes.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
They're like, there's nowhere else to get it from.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Literally, so and that one I was already like separated
from my son's dad and living on my own, and
he was the only one who knew that I was
getting the surgery. None of my family knew so and
at the time we were doing fifty to fifty, like
you have him here, I have him there, so I
scheduled it for when I didn't have my son. I'm
(31:50):
so crazy, Like, how are you going to recover from
a BBL and take care of a three year old
on your own?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Not one but three? Yes, right after?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So crazy?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Okay, so if he's three, what's the timeline of the
surgery each year?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I probably yeah, yeah, I was probably like one each year.
You're just not satisfied with it with the yeah, and
I'm still not like I love the way that I look,
but I feel like it's a little bit too natural
for my liking, Like I want just a little bit more,
you know, when you're like super swollen after surgery, Like yeah,
but and that's.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
What I cute. Yes, but then when it sets down,
gravity does its thing.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Like where's my ass on? And for three times, I'm like,
this does not look like it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
She's like, not for this amount of money, Like, dude.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
When I get the commentsary baby all looks so natural,
I'm like, is that what I want to hear?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
But I think, honestly, you're beautiful, You're gorgeous. I do
want to say.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
She just confirmed to me that her nose is not fake,
and I hate it, and I wish that she said
that she got it done because I'm gonna be hating.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I love it like I've always I've been too scared
to do it.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
But you are very beautiful, and I think with or
without surgery, I think your heart is gold and you
seem and you look and you are in case nobody
ever tells you you are a good mother and a
good person. So don't ever feel like you're less than
or that, because you know it's normal you have a postpartum.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You know it's women are meant to feel like that.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Even if I haven't had kids, I've had very low
moments where I'm just like, I fucking hate my body.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I hate what I look like, and so I get
what that means. But as from a girl to a girl,
girl's girl, you're very beautiful.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
And you deserve all the love.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
No, no, but I just feel like it's important, like
to remind people like you know, and I if your
guys judging her because of all these surgeries, then don't
be a hater because you just can you couldn't and
you just.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
You know you would want to.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
It is what it is, and all right, you guys,
we're gonna want a quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Welcome back you guys.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
You also do OnlyFans, yeah as well, which go ahead, girl,
go off, do what you'd want to do. I did
it for a little bit too, oh period, I did.
I don't anymore. Tried it out, just wasn't my thing. Yeah,
I want to know what led you there?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
How's that experience for you.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
All that m I think I found out because my
friend was doing it at the time, and she was
doing really really well on there, and she was telling
me that, like she wasn't even posting like crazy stuff
like I don't know if you know that girl, Sophie Rain.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I feel like I've heard of her.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Yeah, she doesn't even do nothing on there, like multi
millionaire and she's eighteen years old. Go off, some eighteen
years old girl. I can't believe I heard of her.
She's like going crazy right now. No, okay. Anyways, So
I was just thinking, like, okay, like let me get
on there and like try it out and just see
(35:06):
like where it takes me. And I've been doing like
good on there and I don't post like the craziest
things like I feel like people think, oh f and
they instantly.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, it's a bad negative like, but there's people.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
On there that literally post like working out content, Like
what it is this for you to subscribe to a
creator to get like personal content like you're messaging them
and yeah, like it's more like a personal level. But
my content is like not that bad, honestly, it's just
more of like a like more of like an explicit
(35:44):
version of me, like just like without the sweats you on.
But yeah, I get it, people, I get so much
hate for it because I'm a mom, right and I
get it. But at the same time, I'm like, come on, like,
my three year old lives a very good life and
entertain that also, yes, And I'm like, he has a
(36:04):
savings account, he has a roth Ira, like he is
set up for the future, and why am I going
to stop like when I'm at my prime and I
could be doing stuff for him like this and setting
him up. And everyone's like telling me, like, your son's
gonna hate you, like you're such a bad mom, I
can't believe you would do this. I'm like, maybe, like
(36:26):
there's that possibility, but I also think he's going to
be very happy when he.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Gets to that.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
At that nineteen and like has all of this money
in his bank when the time comes, if you ever
want to explain that to him, Like I think that's
like a learning lesson, like not even just like not
to judge other people, because there's obviously people that do
other things that.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Are actual strippers or prostitutes.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Or whatever, and it's like there's a difference and no
matter what, like not to judge those people. It's like
a learning experience and people can do as they please
and maybe it wasn't for me and it works out
for you and that's amazing, Like there's no shame and
whatever women want to do with their bodies and how
they want to do it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
But growing up with strict parents, do they.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Know or how was that? If I'm being honest, I
don't know if they know.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Shut up.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
They've never brought it up to me.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Okay, so they're not in social media, Like they're not.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
They are, Okay. Things got really rocky with them when
me and my my dad, my son's father broke up.
Things got really rocky with them because I felt like
they thought that I like left to go like party
and like live a crazy life, Like.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
I went to go get babls literally but I feel like.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
They think that I'm like not being a good mom.
So things got super rocky with them. Like I went
through a period with them where I didn't talk to them,
Like it was like maybe like three months, which is
a long time because I was super close to my
mom especially so and then I had talked to them
for the first time at my son's birthday. So yeah,
(38:08):
things were super rocky with them. And I feel like
I'm sure that they know I have them blocked on everything.
I'm sure that they know now because I'm sure they
see clips, comments other people's videos, and then I've talked
about it on a podcast before, so if they saw
the podcast, they know they have, but they've never brought
it up to me ever, right, But I always never
(38:30):
like that I was pulling my breath around them. But
I mean, honestly, I feel like I'm just at a
point in my life now where I'm like I'm an
adult and at the end of the day, like I
love them so much and I respect their opinion, but
they're not going to pay my bills.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
For me exactly or your sons.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Yeah, like you have a whole nother you have a
human Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Like to worry about how is your relationship with him, Like,
what is like your obviously you know you love him
your door, how is it like, I don't know, like
what is like baby?
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Like I love him so much as my baby. I
literally saw him this morning because I went to give
his dad a ride, and I'm just like, oh my gosh,
I miss him so much. Like a week away from
him feels like.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Also he goes for like a week.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Yes, we do weeks at a time, so we switch
off every Friday. It's because we were doing two days
and then that was like and then we started doing
three days, and it was just was so unstable, Like
it's like we were starting to get a routine with him,
and then I have to give him back.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
You feel like, yeah, that's a little bit more confusing
for him.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Yeah, so it's hard.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
It is crazy.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
The dad tried doing a month. I was like, no,
you're crazy. He'll be a whole nother baby by the
time I get him back.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
He doesn't live or like you guys don't live near
each other.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
We were like eighteen minutes. No, no, no, not eighteen minutes.
We're literally eight minutes away. But I recently just moved
and now I'm like forty five minutes away from him.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah, but it works out well. Yeah, what about school, Well,
he doesn't go to school yet.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
He's a baby's doing Yeah, And that too is like
where I'm like, oh, like it's gonna get so rough
because we're super like big on, like we think we're
gonna homeschool him.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
You should yeah, yeah, I feel like, what are your reasons?
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I just feel like I have so much like time
on my hands, and I have a lot of downtime
that I'd rather my son be at home with me
versus like another adult for eight hours of the day
where he's not getting like one on one time. And
also I feel like public schools are scary and like
weird these days.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I agree, I agree because I don't know, Like I
just feel like I know there's bullies, even there's baby bullies.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
And it's sad.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, And it's like I don't know if I want.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
To do that, and not everyone necessarily agrees with the way,
Like maybe there's certain things like in school that I
don't agree that they teach, but it's like there's things
that I just I don't want my kids to learn
that I feel like there's other things to know, Like
when I grew up, they never taught me how to
write a check. They never taught me, Like I'm not saying.
I'm saying like in high school and all that shit too,
like like they just there's things that they don't teach you.
(41:05):
And I feel like three is like a prime age
to like teach I don't know, just like I feel
like the baby baby them a little bit, like I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
Yes, honestly, like everyone's telling me like, oh, what is it?
Like what aren't my families? Like when are you gonna
sign him up for preschool? Like he already knows all
of that stuff, Like my son is super smart. He
knows all of that and more so, I'm like I'd
rather like teach him one on one at his pace
when he could be learning like different things, versus him
sitting in a classroom of thirty five kids with a
(41:37):
different adult, Like he's gonna be spending like six hours
a day with another person when he could be with me,
Like I would either even like rather hire a tutor
or a teacher to come to my house and be
in the safety of my own home.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I guess the only thing that it would probably be
like it's for some parents for sure. I know my
cousin and I have a cousin that homeschool is all
four of her kids. Wow, So I'm like, damn, Like
you don't catch a break at all for sure, you know,
and socializing the kids, socializing with other people, Like I
get that.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
So it's like finding that balance to.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Like, you know, he has to live a normal life
and like go to the park and play with friends
and you know, see other people.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
But girl, you're the mom. You do whatever the hell
you want.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like, and that's what I don't like about social media
is like they paint this picture and they feel like
because they see something, they're able to create this whole
story about you and control your narrative when in reality
it's not that. How do you handle obviously, like every
the hate and just everything.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Honestly, I'm so good at blocking out everything, Like I
don't respond to anything. There was only one time where
I did lash out. We had gone to Hawaii with
all my friends and it was my time to not
have my son and everyone like we were on live
and everyone was coming for me. Like, girl, go be
a mom, Go take care of your kid. Like, mom,
(43:15):
am I supposed to do when it's his Like what
do people think, like when it's his dad's turn to
have him? What am I supposed to do? And that's
what I think, Like for my parents too, like what
do you want me to do? Like sit at home
crying that and like staring at a picture of him?
Like genuinely, what am I supposed to do? If I
don't have him? It's more than okay for me to
(43:36):
go to Hawaii. I didn't take my time that I
was supposed to have my son and say hey, can
you guys watch him so I could go to Hawaii?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Like I use my that's different.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
Yeah, right, I used the time that his dad had
to be with him to go on vacation.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
And I don't think there's anything bad that at all.
Speaker 3 (43:55):
Yeah. So, yeah, that was the only time that I've
ever lashed out on social media, but for the most part,
or keep my mouth shut. Yeah, when people.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Say stuff, I might at this point again, they're not
paying your bills, yeah you know, And I say social media,
I'm not saying you know your parents and I'm sure
that you know your parents have you know, good intention,
Like obviously they know they've lived longer than everybody and
h but you're grown now, I mean your mom, Like,
I feel like everything changes and I'm excited for you
(44:25):
and for you know, for your baby Noah and the
possibility possibilities for you and you know what you what
you can do? What is what are the what are
the plans for you? What do you feel like now
that okay your mom? Obviously shit gets more serious? You know,
life is like you put life into another perspective.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
Where are you at now?
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Oh my gosh. Honestly, I feel like a lot of things,
like I always have to like.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Like, I always have to like double think everything because
I'm like, what about my son and his dad? Like
I can't just buy a house anywhere. I always have
to think, like, Okay, well I need to be close
to his dad. So a lot of like the decisions
that I make now, I always have to think about
my son and like what his dad is doing. So
it's like like I always have to be connected to
(45:19):
the dad.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
So like me living like forty five minutes away right now,
I'm like, dang, and I'm thinking like hopefully this is
gonna be my last year renting and next year I'll
be actually buying a house, and I'm like, are we
supposed to buy houses in the same city? Like yeah,
So definitely like a lot to think about.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
With him that.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
What about your career, what do you feel like you're.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Honestly, I don't know. I feel like this year, I
definitely took a break and I slacked too much. But
I feel like I had like such a strict dad
and then I got pregnant and then I had the baby,
so like this time, like on my own, I almost
used it as like a way to experience life. And
(46:10):
I don't have any regrets because I feel like I
like this was my first time on a plane. Right.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Oh, you feel like you grew up a little bit
too fast, like because you had your baby young.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes, and I wasn't Like with my son's dad. All
we did was like be at home and be a family.
Like we never went out. Yeah, you skipped the whole Yes,
So I feel like now I finally got to like
I never went to clubs, never traveled, never go through
all that. So now I use like this whole year
(46:39):
to like do like experience life, and I don't regret it.
But I definitely took a lot of time away from
my social media. So yeah, this year, I definitely want
to like get back on YouTube and yeah, I get
back on my grind because I'm slacking.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, and I think that I think that's fine though,
Like I want to call it slacking. I want to
call it like, you know, I much.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Needed probably a break, like you needed to. You're recalibrating,
like life happens so fast for you and you're just
like who am I? Like what am I doing?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
And that's normal, Like, yeah, you were with him at
what did you say, eighteen nineteen? Yeah, yeah, like you
were with him at that and then you had the baby.
You're practically married.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
You're married, and like, so I get it. So don't
feel bad. Do not feel bad for where you're at
right now.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
You're successful again, you're a great mom, You're beautiful, and
it's okay, Like.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Time's there's always.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Going to be time, you know, it's never too late,
and I just, you know, there's I'm twenty seven and
I feel like I still don't even feel like what
the fuck I'm going to do? Like, you know, I'm
not going to I don't am I I don't know
if I'm going to keep continuing podcasting for the rest
of my life, like or if I get married the
day tomorrow. Like life is constantly changing and we're meant to.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Go ahead and grow and learn with it.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
It doesn't stop.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
You just grow with it. And taking those breaks is
so necessary. It's better for you. You know, you went
through a lot.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
You had depression, you had you know, your postpartum and
everything like, so it don't be hard on yourself. You're
just you're doing the best that you can and every way,
and you have to honor the things, the good things
that you have done, you know, And like, maybe it
didn't work out with the baby daddy, and that's okay,
there's always a reason why.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
But you're successful.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
You have a house, you have a bad hoss car,
your body's bomb, your kid is healthy, he's happy, your
relationship are good and that's it.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
And life is going to continue to grow and be good.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Yeah, to be thankful for for sure.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I tho's percent agree.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
But I appreciate you being here and sharing your heart
and your story.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
And I loved getting to know you and.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
Decide that probably a lot of people don't see. So
I appreciate you opening your heart and connecting with me.
Please share your socials so that people can go ahead
and follow you and Noah and all your dreams and
everything that you'll be doing.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
Oh my gosh, my TikTok got hacked, so my username
is crazy. But if you guys just search up Bella
and then my last name R E t A m
O s A, you can find me on everything.
Speaker 1 (49:18):
Okay, make sure you guys follow her, follow her journey,
support her. We love women, supporting women, so don't be
a hating ask women.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Please.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No one likes that. We are all here to love
and support and just be there for one another. And
if you ever need anything, I am here.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Makes you you guys like, comment, subscribe and I will
see you guys next Tuesday.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Overcome for Podcasts is a production of Iheart'm podcast Network
Host
Jenicka Lopez
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