April 30, 2024 • 44 mins
Ophira chats with comedian and actor Andy Richter about the perks of living with your 20-something year-old son and why under NO circumstances will he ever negotiate with toddlers.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I used to be cheers all let them still a
thing of sales fun phantoms a joke.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, listeners, this is parenting is a joke.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
I'm a bag of unsalted pretzels named Oh f your
eyes R. On the show, we bring together professional funny
people and stand up Canadians to talk about their career,
being creative and raising kids at the same time and
how they are doing it. Yeah, how the fuck are
they doing it? Let's talk about a load light of
(00:31):
spring kids. Rashets, rashets. They are disgusting, gross. Okay, there
is a im patigo. There is moloscum. There's cocksacki virus
a favorite. These all sound so phallic or like they're
deep sea evil shellfish. And if you are not familiar
(00:53):
with any of these, you're very lucky. My advice is,
do not google them, don't put them in any search
engine of any kind, because I regret that day.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
So there's some rashes floating around, okay, and just general sickness.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
My kid is sick.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So I talked to another parent. They're like, oh, we
had a rolling around our house. It seems like everybody
is complaining about some weird cold again, is it because
everyone got back from spring break and they're just passing
along some Delta, Jet Blue and Spirit Airline germs. Is
it because one day the temperature is thirty and the
next day it's ninety five. Or is it allergies the
(01:31):
catch all of all sneezes allergies because that happens every year.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Or is it everything? Yeah, you know what, it's everything.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Probably.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
So that was a low light. But here's a highlight.
My guest Andy Richter, and he talks about how he
does not negotiate with toddlers and how his older kids
assumed they would be doing more babysitting when he first
sirt dating his current wife, and.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I was like, we don't trust you with the kid.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Relax.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Look, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's not gonna happen because I don't trust you to
keep a baby alive.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
More with me and Andy Richter right after this at break, Hey, listeners,
So April it's over.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Wow, what a whirlwind.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I had so much work travel, but also our whole
team had different weeks of school vacation off. So I
gotta tell you, for a crew of working moms, it
was a production juggle, and we made it happen. Okay,
So we deserve a parade trophies week off, and we
will get none of those, willow. I have joked before
(02:47):
that you know what era of childhood I grew up
in because we felt shame, we were allowed to fail. Okay,
and I know we all like to rail against us.
Oh everybody's a winner, huh. Oh you got a participation badge.
But also once you get used to it, for your kid,
I gotta say, it's kinda nice, okay, because they love winning,
(03:10):
and I don't want my kid to feel bad.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
All right.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I agree, he has to learn about losing, failing, feeling
left out.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's all part of life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But there is another part of me that goes, you
know what, Life's gonna kick the shit out of you,
whether you get a trophy for no reason in third
grade or not.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So why not enjoy the dumb trophy? Why not never fail?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Because I am actually jealous of those people who have
an unwavering sense of entitlement.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I am trying to learn it now, and it's harder. Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
I'm also really wavering here on this whole idea that
you can really build up resistance by bouncing back from failures.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
When you're young, you know the whole Oh little kids
are so resilient. No, no, they are not.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
They are the same as us. That's why we talk
about our childhood in therapy. Now, we indeed did not
bounce back. Okay, we just kept going until we had
enough money in our pocket to pay for therapy. Because
you know what comes up in my therapy the fact
that the one day I missed school kindergarten because I
was sick, that was cupcake Day and everyone was talking
(04:20):
about it the next day.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I remember that, and it comes up.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Okay, my son came home from school sad because one
of the boys in his class was having a birthday
party over the weekend and my son was not invited.
And that boy told him that he could only have
a limited amount of people, and I guess my.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Kid did not make the cut.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
When he told me, I was not fucking happy.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Okay, I feel very strongly about including everyone, especially at
this age, because you know what, when we threw Lucas
a party last fall, we invited the goddamn entire class
to his party and paid for them by the head,
like a wedding. And that kid came and he played
the games, and he ate the pizza. He drank a
(05:09):
juice box. I think he had two. Okay, so you
know what I want. I want to check in the
mail for that amount back to me. And you know
what else, I want apologies. I want apologies all round.
I want an apology from the kid. I want apology
from the kid's parents for making my kid feel left out.
I don't even know if my kid was a shit
(05:31):
to that kid and that's why he wasn't invited.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
But you know what, I look at.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
These kids and they're all shits to each other, so
who fucking knows or cares invite them. I want apologies
from his school for just being subpar all round. I
want apology from my husband for everything. I want an
apology from Ali Caseman, who did not invite me to
her birthday party in the sixth grade and they all
thought they successfully hid it from me. But you know
(05:57):
what I knew, Yeah, I knew that comes up in therapy,
but all of this misplaced angericide.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I tried to tell.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Him, yes, I hear you, that sucks, but you know,
you just gotta let it go and focus your energy
on the people you do like playing with and call friends.
But then he started ranting at me that parents have
the worst advice. They always say, let it go, shake
it off. But does anyone actually know how to do that,
because kids don't. Mom, and I tried to say that
(06:27):
I get it, but you know, we only say the
stuff to you because we've been through it, and when
we look back, we just wish we spent more time
enjoying ourselves and doing things that made us happy, rather
spending time on stuff that doesn't make us happy, and
it doesn't end up mattering as much. And he said, well,
it doesn't help me to think about looking back when
I'm in it.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh my god, He's so right.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And I get it because I even have said as
an adult, no, I can't see the fucking.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Bright side right now.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Okay, there are no magic answers. There is no perfect fix,
except of course, for a written apology in the mail.
Send it, write it down and send it.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do I sound unhinged? Please please tell me you've experienced something.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Similar, and if you have it, you can also tell
me so I can live vicariously through your excellent, conflict
free life full of birthday goodie bags.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
All right, you know who.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Seems to be living a somewhat conflict free life right now,
his best life, who is thriving Andy Richter. He is
currently chilling in a hotel solo in Atlanta, so enjoy
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So you likely know.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
My guest as Conan O'Brien's sidekick on the talk show
Late Night, The Tonight Show and Conan. He also hosts
his own podcast called Three Questions with Andy Richter. He
is in the television series Andy Richter Controls the Universe
and Quintuplets. He has voiced so many characters out there too.
(08:10):
I'm talking Madagascar. I've watched that many times with my child,
The Mighty Bee, American Dad, Star Trek Lower Decks a favorite,
and so many more animated hits. It is the insanely
talented Andy richteror.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
O Hi, Hi, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Oh my god, thank you so much. And you know,
just as any parent that I talk to that is
coming into the recording from a hotel room, I always
feel that sense of jealousy of like, oh, yeah, you're
in space. You've got twudred square feet just for you.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Oh it is, And I have to I do have
to kind of keep it under my hat because I'm
here I'm in Atlanta recording episodes of twenty five Words
or Less, which is a syndicated game show that Mareth
Viera hosts, and I am playing word games for money
and helping people make money. So it's all really good.
But I was in the time coming up to this.
(09:05):
I couldn't tell it because I have a four year
old at home now, and my twenty three year old
lives with this too. I just couldn't say, you know, like, oh, that.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Sweethetel like.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's going to be a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, that TV. That TV. That's that no one else
has any say over.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Oh, how many kids do you have total?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I have three totals.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Yeah, I have a twenty three year old fella, a
eighteen year old gal.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And then a four year old. We're not sure yet,
you know, right right exact?
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Actually, actually she is. She's the most like gender specific
of all my children. She is a girl like pants. No,
I'm wearing a dress, yes, princesses and a little more
than my more than I would like an aunt who
(10:01):
is a Disney adult and who is actually actually because
my wife grew up in Wittier and I think her
entire family at one point worked at Disneyland during their
high school and college years because my sister in law
was Jasmine for a while. They're Mexican Americans, so she
could play Jasmine. She's aye close enough you can be Jasmine.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Well, my wife was. She was characters. She was like
Roger Rabbit.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
And my sister in law has maintained friendships with all
those people and she's all wired in and so she's
actually she takes her daughter down there. God like once
a month, really due. They'll go down there and they
won't even go on rides. I'll just do princess crap.
I'm like, what what's wrong with you too?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I only went to and it was Disneyland when I
was a little bit older, Like I was thirteen years
old the first time I went there, so I kind
of missed it as a child. But I took my
I was a seven year old, sorry, when he was seven.
He's eight years old now last year, and let me
tell you, it was overwhelming. We were at the one
in Orlando. There was meltdowns and a lot of like
(11:09):
why these lines and stuff? And yet when I talked
to him about it, now, I go of all the
places we visited, where would you like to go back.
He always says Disney World, And I'm like, how you
actually the whole time we were there, I felt like
you did not enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Uh, but that's family vacations in a nutshell.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
It is so true.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
And I look back on the trips, you know, I've
had the exact same experience where it's like just a stressful,
awful trip to fill in the blank and the kids
screaming and yelling and fighting, and a month.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Later, oh my god, that was so great. Oh I
loved it. It was so great, what a great time, Like, you.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Know, where were you? Because I know where.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I was right right right? I remember, I remember you
do not?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, but you know, speaking of which not like Eddie
fays in, a kid's life is bad, but some are
harder than others. You have a toddler or just an
out of toddler phase now, right, But it's been fourteen
years since you had a four year old last Yeah,
what's the comparison.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Well, you know, it's it's not just like a clear
cut sort of differential between because I'm a different person
than I was fourteen years ago. Like I'm I'm newly
remarried and very very happy you know, like, and I
don't mean this in any sort of like, you know,
(12:38):
to be throwing shade at any previous time in my life,
because I also too, just in my own personal development,
I've been I you know, I've dealt with depression forever
and ever and then the last I don't know however
many ten or so years, I have just kind of
come out of that. So I'm just a happier person
having a four year old now. Is it's easier because
(13:00):
I'm I have a more upbeat attitude about life generally speaking.
It is an interesting situation and like because like I
will say, I did choose her, like I did not
have to marry her mother. She was she was about
you know, she was a little over a year and
a half old when I when when my wife and
I met and we started dating, and that was certainly
(13:22):
you know, that's part of the equation is I'm going
to be this little girl's daddy, and do I want
to do that? And very shortly into the relationship, I
was like, oh, absolutely, you know, absolutely I want to
do this. It was in my reckoning a separate thing
from do I love her mother? You know, I mean
(13:42):
I had to love my wife first, and then the
second step was like, and I'm going to want to
raise this kid. And I do want to raise this kid.
I mean people will say, oh, she's got your.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Eyes, and I'm like, no, that's fine. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
You know, people talk about how parenting is easier for grandparents,
that they can you know that grandparents they get all
the all the gravy and none of the you know,
none of the work, yeah, little kids, because they can
just send them back home when they get tiresome. And
I think I have a touch of that, and it
isn't that I can send her back home when when
(14:22):
it gets shitty.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Can I say shitty?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
They on here?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Okay, right, Okay, I at the playground with you know,
I'll see a dad twenty years younger than me with
a four year old and just that dead look in
his eyes. I'm like, oh, I remember that, And buddy,
don't worry.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's it gets now.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It gets it's not even so much, it gets better.
It's just like it's not as bad as you think it's.
It's not like it's not as your life is not over,
so relax, you don't there's not a lot of room
for you, right, now.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
But honestly, that's a blessing, you know.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Uh uh, It's not that I've just been through what
it is to have a four year old. I've been
through what it is to have the whole expanse, even
to the point where before I even met my little one,
I was already starting to get the feeling, the empty nest,
feeling of oh shit, you are just gonna leave, aren't you.
(15:27):
You're just gonna You're just gonna go and do like
what we always, you know, said was the deal. You know,
we're always as parents ideally working towards our own obsolescence,
you know, like the idea is to make them not
need you in.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
A healthy way.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
I started to feel that and started to feel like, yikes, wow,
holy shit, this is kind of heavy and I was
not expecting this, and it made me and made me
have a little sympathy for my mother, who I think
had always been a you know, fly free little birds.
And then when she started to feel the empty ness
is like, wait a minute, hold on, come back my
(16:08):
younger brother and sister, I think she got a lot
more like hold on a minute, where are you going?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Wait a second, I don't stick around, damn it.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
You say, though, you have a twenty three year old
living at home. Did that child move back?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He did, Okay did, But I mean, you know, that's
not like a forever situation, of course.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Honestly having him in twenty nineteen, I moved out of.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
The house and.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
The absolute worst part of that was not living under
the same roof as my children. And when my son
moved back into with me, that was the first time
that that happened again as a permanent arrangement, not as
a weekends at dad's or you know, Tuesday and Thursday
night dinners at Dad's. It was I now have one
(16:54):
of my children living with me and one of my
older children living with me again, And so I am
just I am just thrilled to have him back on
a daily basis. And I mean, and I'm not it's
not like hearts and rainbows. It's very you know, it
still it's still just like everyday stuff. But I just
love having them around. And the notion of like people
(17:16):
saying like, well, he might live with you for however
many you know, they say.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It's not stuff.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I'm like, all right, he can have that room, and
you know, and he helps, he cooks, he cleans. He
you know, he's starting to babysit, so yeah, I mean yeah,
he did say when he moved in, like, look, I
don't want.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
You to take advantage of me for babysitting.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Which I was like, first of all, I'm like, first
of all, you've gotta.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
You got you have to pass the tests. First of all,
I'm not just gonna tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Say hey, stay with this, hey, twenty three year olds,
twenty three year old art.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Students, stay with this four year old.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
You know, you know we're gonna ease you into it,
but yeah, you are gonna babysit, and you're gonna dog
walk and you're gonna your grocery shop.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
He's really great about all of it. It's all just
like a really happy, happy time for me.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
That's amazing. I love the idea too, of like your
twenty three year old being like I might not want
to contribute to this level, and you're like, oh, you
weren't in the running yet the case relax.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Yeah, Well, my daughter, when Jen, my wife and I
were dating, we just we rented a house, a beach
house in Ventura County a couple of years ago, and
my daughter was like I Am not going to just
let you guys go up and you're just do the babysitting.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I was like, we don't trust.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
You with the kid. Relax, Like, yeah, no, that's not
gonna happen because I don't trust you to keep a
baby alive.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
But also because you have this sort of different perspective,
was your wife like turns to you and going, well,
you know you've been through this, how does this work?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
There is a little bit of that.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
There is a little bit of that, And I was
kind of like, it is a very unattractive thing for
me to say. But when we first started dating and
we met on we met on hinge, we met online
just because.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
I'm older, and to me, it was like, oh, that's,
you know, right, dating service. You know just.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well if you call it service, well you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
But that's what that's how old my mind is.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I'm thinking of like old love American style skits where
it's like I joined.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
A dating service or a matchmaker. You know.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I did look down my nose at dating aps and
then I got on and won, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, no, what of course this makes total sense. Like
and the metaphor of used is if you want to
play pool, you go to a billiard's hall, you don't
go to the supermarket and then try and guess who's
in the mood to play pool. So when we met.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Because my wife is nine years younger than me, so
at the time forty something, that but that she had
a little kid that she had on her own, and
that she was a single mom. And then we started texting,
and in my mind, from just some experience that I've
had in life, I was like, oh, she's crazy, like
(20:11):
just the notion that like a you know, like somebody
that had been devoted to their career and then like
I'm gonna have a baby, Like I've known.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
A few of those people and they're kind of crazy.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I felt terrible assuming that because the minute I met
her and I thought she was going to be a
helicopter mom and like super stressy and yeah, just like
just totally chill, just a wonderful mother, a great relationship
with her daughter, silly and fun and really enjoys being
(20:42):
a mom. You know, needs when she needs to work,
she needs to work, and she needs her you know,
she'd also knows like look like when her mother comes over,
take her mom. I got stuff to do, right, you know, Yeah,
she understands the boundaries and the proportion of of doing
it all. So she's really really great and all that.
(21:05):
But I'm sorry I'm getting around answering your questions. But
like one of the first times while we were dating,
because my daughter did kind of run things. She was
she's a COVID baby. She came home like two weeks
from the hospital, two weeks before lockdown. Oh yeah, so
it was just my and my wife's sister moved in
(21:26):
with her, so it was just Mama and Teachy that's
what she calls her aunt.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
It was just the two of them for a long time.
So and she runs like she runs her grandparents. She's
she is the boss of Gamma and Gampy. Me coming
into the picture was a little bit like all of
a sudden, like I would say, like I'm the hammer
like that, like I'm going to be the one that's like,
(21:51):
negotiations are over, Yes, I'm gonna do this, and and
she and she also too, she hates having anything done
for her. She wasn't going to bed and she was, no,
I'm not going to go to bed, and Jen, you know,
the negotiations are just going on and on and on,
and so I finally just said, look, I'm going to
count the three.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
You're going to bed. It's time to go to bed,
and I'm going to count the three. And when I
get to three, if you say no and you're not
walking on the way to bed, I'm going to pick
you up and put you into bed and you're going
to stay there and you're going to go to sleep.
And she I counted the three and she looked at
me and there was a pause, and then she went noye.
(22:31):
And I picked her up, and she immediately went rigid
and did one of those silent screams, like the kind
where she can't even breathe, yeah, screaming, so so desperately
picked her up, put her into bed. She tried to
get out once I put her back in, and I said, no,
you're going to stay there and you're going to go
to sleep. The night you had your chance, covered her up,
(22:52):
shut out the lights, and she cried. But then't you know,
it's like I know this drill, and I know that
the crying will last out three or four minutes and.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Then she'll be asleep.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yep, And that's what happened, and I said to Jen afterwards,
I said, because I just did that.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I didn't say, like, uh, tomorrow I might intercede. I
just I just did that.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I'll put it in an application.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Yeah, I said to her, I said, I hope. I said,
I hope you're okay that I did that. And she said,
are you crazy?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
That was sexy? It was amazing. And then and I
and she.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Said, and she goes because she goes like, I don't
know what the hell I'm doing. She's like, I'm just
every day wing is just kind of just winging it, so,
you know. And then I asked her like, I'm like,
did you read parenting books?
Speaker 4 (23:42):
And she's kind of like she was like, yeah, kind of,
you know, I mean I kind of browsed them and
got the gist.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And I was like, oh my god, I fucking love
you so much.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Did you know did you reads?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I browsed them, you know, I got the bullet points,
you know, I mean, I was I was definitely given
a signed reading.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
With the first two, and I.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Kind of, you know, I was like, all right, yeah,
I get it, okay, Yeah, don't touch the soft spot,
you know, right. But I also too, I have a
half brother and sister who are twins who are nine
years younger than me, and my mother worked and there
was no like I was changing diapers when those kids
were still wet. Wow, because she just is like, I
(24:28):
don't you know, you got to help me. I've been
taking care of little kids since I was nine years old,
on and off and some you know, you know, so
I know the drill.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Basically, did you feel growing up that your parents were
in control? I mean you were just talking about that
you were a huge contributor to just the general household
taking care of kids. Did you feel like they kept
the tigers at bathe.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Somewhat somewhat, you know. After my parents split up. I
was four when they split up, and it was a
real blow to my mother, and we moved back in
with my grandparents, with her parents, and.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
My mom was kind of.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
She was just I just like I say, I have
a picture of her in a waitress uniform laying on
the couch with her with her forearm over her eyes.
You know, but that yeah, and just sort of just
shell shocked, you know. She was very loving, caring, Like
I say, really, as I mentioned before, like really did
(25:29):
encourage us to do what we wanted didn't put a
lot on us, didn't put a lot of her expectations
on us. That did require a lot of self reliance.
And there was a lot of stuff like if I
needed a piece of you know, clothing clean, I went
and did it, and my mom was sort of straight
up with me. I got a lot going on. If
you want something washed, y'all wash it eventually. But if
(25:50):
you want to wash now, you got to do it.
I think about this a lot when I was in
junior high school. Our junior high school was so small,
and they just had a policy see that every boy
and every girl had to take both what they called IA,
which was industrial arts, which was shot class.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And home ech.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I learned cooking, I learned sewing, you know, and so
I can still. I mean, it takes me a while
to get to figure it out again, but like I
could use a sewing machine, and so like I would
if there was a pants that needed mending or something,
I could, you know, I could patch my pants, you know,
And I ended up doing that. It did inspire a
(26:31):
kind of self reliance. On the flip side, too, I
do think I spent a lot of time feeling kind
of lonely in terms of like, you know, in my
developmental years, I think I did feel a little bit
I felt the cold wind blowing, you know, at different
times in my in my development I was certainly aware
of a lot of adult sort of stresses and situations.
(26:54):
And I also, too, I felt like I had to
solve a lot of problems on my own. If I
could self critique of my older kids, I don't think
they have enough self reliance.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Oh really, I think that.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
I I think that I took too much care of them.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Uh, you know, in tandem with my ex wife. Yeah,
my wife, now.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
She's she's a worker and has been a worker, and
like from a family of workers, and very frugal and
you know, my I'd say, my wife is allergic to
spending an extra nickel on something that she needs to,
whereas that was not a skill I ever was taught.
I was a worker too. I mean, I'm not great
(27:34):
with money, but I'm a worker. And from you know,
I think I was eleven when I had my first
paper route, and then that got that went to a
bigger paper route, and then that went to working for
my stepfather and his plumbing business, and that and then
and then you know, played sports and that kind of
cut into kind of work stuff. But then halfway through
(27:56):
high school, like like I quit the football team because
I just.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Was like, this is not for me, you know, this
Lord of the Fly stuff is not for me. And
I got it.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Yeah, I got a job in the grocery store. And
then I worked in the grocery store and went to
like I always have had a job. My son's driving
for Uber eats, yeah, you know when he's done like
some sort of studio work. He's an art student for
studio work for different artists, but like he's never really
had a burger flipping job or a grocery store job.
(28:28):
And I do kind of feel like there is some
absolutely genuine value to eating shit in the workaday world,
Like there really is, like like just the experience of
that asshole gets to tell.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Me, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But also I mean because I my parents had a
grocery store, so I too worked at a grocery store,
and then I worked at like coffee shops. And the
one thing that I always say that is different from
like Uber eats, what you miss is like the other
people you get to hang out with or despise, who
are your managers, your co workers, like I felt like
(29:07):
I learned so much from those people.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Absolutely, it's not bad money for what he's making. And
he could be you know, he could be waiting tables,
he could you know, or he could be flipping burgers
and making less money. He isn't learning the workplace yet.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
All right, well let him listen to this interview. If
you want to be passive about it, all.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Right, yeah, I'll send it right over.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
How did you broach the subject to your kids when
you decided to remarry.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I just told him I just you were dating.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Did they know that they were?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah? They knew I was dating.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
And actually and Jen was the first person that I
that I dated that I.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Introduced them to.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Okay, I had dated other people, but nothing ever was
serious enough that I that it got to that level.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
So they knew it was serious. You know. I've heard
stories and you see it in TV shows and in movies.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
About parents going I think I'm going to ask Mary
to marry me. Yeah, you know, And I just kind
of felt like, you know what, it's my business. A
they're like older, and I did kind of feel like
I don't. I mean, I'm going to tell them, but
it's not if they went, no, you can't, I would
be like, yeah, I can actually, and sorry, you gotta
(30:30):
get used to it. And that was just sort of
how I felt about it, because I had absolute faith
that I was marrying somebody good and kind and was
marrying her for the right reasons. I wasn't marrying like,
you know, some twenty six year old jewelry designer, you
(30:52):
know that I met on Briah or something. I was
marrying a real grown up woman that you know, own
your own business and you know, and whom I was
very very much in love with, and they were gonna
have to deal with it, uh, you know, one.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Way or the other.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
And I don't even mean that, and like, you know,
like a fuck you kind of way I mean it,
and like you're just gonna have to trust me that
what I'm doing is yes, of course good for me,
but it's gonna be good.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
For all right. I hope you can be happy about it.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm already learning from you that one of the major
tenants of your parenting style, which I love, is sort
of to be unwavering with just what it is.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
I think that, you know, I think children deserve honesty.
And when I started having children, and I think it
was before I had children too, But there's so much
shit that you learned the minute that that kid comes out.
There's all kinds of stuff where you're.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Like, oh, yeah, right, oh geez, and a lot of
it is like, oh, my parents should not have it,
you know.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
The idea of lying to your kids was considered protective
and wonderful.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
My biggest critique of most people's parenting and somewhat of
the parenting that I received, is that you are not
giving enough respect, just plain old respect to your children.
They deserve to hear the truth if the truth does
not hurt them, you know, right and or or hurt
(32:32):
them irreparably, you know, because sometimes the truth does hurt,
but that hurt.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
Is a kind of growing in its own way. There's
also the oversharing of parenting that I am familiar with,
and there was a lot of things that were the
truth that I heard that weren't necessarily necessary, you know that,
just like things like opinions and just feelings, like like
hearing your parents feel this particular way about something or something,
(33:00):
I want to just be like, I don't need to
know that, you like details of my parents' sex life.
I don't need to hear that your sexuality should be
completely walled off from your children except to be like,
you know, you could kiss your wife and you kiss
your spouse and be affectionate. But in terms of like
(33:20):
the nuts and bolts of.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
It, no, no, no, how did come to you.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Being treated like an adult and a confidant and you
know and just somebody, you know, just a pal that
you're talking to and sharing stuff and you know, reminiscences
and stuff. And then there's just times where I'm like,
I'm fucking fifteen years old, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Like?
Speaker 4 (33:40):
So at the time I thought like, oh, it felt
very grown up and very kind of special. Yeah, And
now looking back on it, I realized, no, no, it
was that's not right.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Tangentially related to that, I was looking at reading and
looking at an interview where you talked about being very
frustrated that other people were posting stuff online about your life,
especially in terms of your divorce, and that you had
made a joke on Twitter about being a divorced ad
and then deleted it because you felt like, you know,
(34:14):
this is the kind of stuff that has to be
I need to protect my family. How do you figure
the balance kind of between what is appropriate and also
how you use your personal life for comedy what's off limits.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
It's it's hard. It's hard, and like it's a case
by case basis.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Usually there have been, you know, self caused lumps that
I've had to take. I process things through jokes. Comedy
oversharing can be fantastic. Yes, you know, like real life
oversharing not so much. Comedy oversharing can be really good.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
It's like when you throw your vulnerability out there and
you're just like, oh, this is standard vulnerability for me,
and they're like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, it's like, oh, you don't have a stupid human body,
you know, Like yeah, you know, we're all.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Just like these leaking bags. You know, what are you acting.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
All high and mighty for? So the way I process
things is making jokes. Getting divorce is the worst thing
that ever happened to me. By the time that it
was public knowledge, it had been months and months and months,
so I had already had like time to process the
worst of it. What I liked about Twitter was that
I was hanging out with my funny online friends making jokes. Yeah,
(35:27):
and I had very little sort of professional calculation about
the whole thing. It just was like I think of
something funny and I put it out there. I'm not
a stand up If I thought of something funny, I
could take and put it on a stage, But I
don't like I don't like stand up clubs. I don't
like being I don't like being on stage by myself.
(35:47):
So like this was just like no, I mean and
I and I already I got to perform on TV
every night, so I had that luxury.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, so I could if I had.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
A joke, I'd just throw it out there in the world.
And also Twitter was always a fun sort of like writing,
like it's a writing trick, learning economy.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Oh yeah, when it had the limit, it really Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
When I had the limit, like writing jokes, it was
almost like a word puzzle at times.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
And then when I was a divorce dad, I started
making divorced dad wisecracks. And then I realized this might
not be so funny to your kids, like divorce dad.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
As like I'm a divorce dad. There's a really sad connotation.
There's a real sad center to saying I'm a divorce dad.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
It's not a funny topic for a lot of people, right,
So I had to learn that.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Yeah, and in theory, you're like, I totally get this,
but I'm just at a different stage in processing it. Yes,
right exactly, which you can't put in one hundred and
fifty five characters.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Ps, No, you can't. I learned lots of lessons on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Like my son, my twenty three year old, is gay.
And I've talked about having a gay son for a
number of years, and there have been people in my
family who have been like, how does your son? And
I said, I talked to him about Hi. I'm like, hey,
can I say you're gay? And he's like, yeah, sure,
you know. I mean, as a dad of a gay teen,
(37:12):
I have noticed this or whatever. There's no shame attached
to it. It's it's if he were a hockey player,
I'd say he's a hockey player. You know.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Well, now that would be shameful, though, Let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
I listen, you gotta let the kids do what they want.
If they want to play hockey, you've got to let them.
It's in him, it's got to come out. But my son,
when he was little, I took him to see a
friend's soccer game trying to be you know, and I'm not.
I'm not a hugely sporty guy myself, but I took
him to a soccer game of his friends, thinking, oh,
you know, he's coming to this age. Here's five six
(37:49):
something like that, and we were watching it and I said, hey, would.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You like to do this?
Speaker 4 (37:53):
He goes like, I do not want to do anything
where there are other parents yelling.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
That really that is a good that really sort of
like cuts off a lot of a lot of possibilities here,
but it's.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Good to know that is astute though. Okay, just to
close this out, I want to ask you a couple
like kind of non sequitur. We call them rapid fire questions,
but you don't have to answer in like two words.
But here you go. Would you yourself rather watch bad improv?
(38:33):
Bad sketch comedy or bad stand up?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Oh this really is like what flavor of shit sandwich?
Would you like it?
Speaker 4 (38:46):
I think bad improv just because I would be most
sympathetic because having been there, you know what I mean,
like bad stand up and you know, no bad stand.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Up, bad stand up too.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
You can be like you wrote this, you had time
to think about this. Yeah, these improv kids, they're just
making shit up as they go along.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
You know, sometimes you don't get a great suggestion. Yeah,
what's the last time you said no to one of
your children?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Oh? Well, the four year old is a daily occurrence,
you know, with the older ones.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
My son had a car that came off lease, the
car that I and I was paying the car that I.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Paid for, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And rather than just take it.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Back to the dealership, we took it to CarMax and
because you can get in cash, and my son was like, hey, cod,
I have that, and I just was like, no, no,
that is my money.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
That is my two grand He was like.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Okay, do your kids think you're cool?
Speaker 1 (39:57):
No? No, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
I think they and I think they appreciate the aspects
of me and my personality and in my parenting. But no,
I don't think they think that they think I'm a
big Midwestern idiot.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Really yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know, my son one time when he was ah gosh,
he was probably probably seven or eight, and he came
to a set of a show that I was on,
and like everybody was being real nice to him and
like they were.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
He got there.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
There was like a little motorized camera dolly for a
tracking shot and we were at like a little municipal
airport and they put him on the camera dolly and
he was riding as they were shooting, and as we
drove home, he goes like, Dad, you have a really
cool job. And it was just funny to me because
he'd been around SE's a number of times and it
just he just happened to notice that day, right, that
(40:47):
like it was a cool job, and you know, and
I was glad that it was. He wasn't starstruck that
it was all very sort of nuts and bolts to him,
and it was Dad's job, you know exactly.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Is there a TV dead or a dead and that
you've interviewed that you look up to.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
I worked for Robert Altman. I went to film school,
and he was one of my heroes. He had at
least four of his kids, four or five of his
kids working for him, and he was a complicated guy
and he could be very cantankerous and he could also
be really hard, like hard on his kids that were
working for him. His one son was his production designer,
(41:26):
and I saw them have a screaming fight. But the
truth is they all worked for each other, and they
all worked for different people. It wasn't just like they
worked for their dad because that was all they could do.
But that was really I felt that that was really
something to aspire to, to be able to have your
kids love you enough and like you enough to still
(41:49):
want to spend sixteen hours a day with Jani set.
You know, if like my kids want to work on
a show that I'm working on, that would be that
would be fantastic.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
That's beautiful. Thank you so much, Andy, Thank you so
much for joy Thank you about this taking time from
your luxurious hotel stay.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Oh yes to cheer it hi.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
It have a great time filming and yeah, thanks, thanks
so much. Thank you so much for listening past this
episode along to a friend who would enjoy it. And
next week special we have a live episode for you
from Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas with rosebud Baker
(42:33):
and Andy Haynes, So look forward to that. If you
haven't yet subscribed to this podcast, you won't want to
miss one thing coming up and you know it's up
by Apple Podcast. If you can post a review, it
really helps us. I appreciate it so much. Follow us
on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook for extra content. And Parenting
is a joke on x we are parenting joke and
(42:54):
we have a substack with you content every single week.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
How do we do it?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Go to substach and search for parenting as a joke.
I promise you will love it. Hey, upcoming dates, I'm
going to the Pacific Northwest. You can come see me
in Paulo, Alto on May second, Portland, Oregon on May third,
Seattle on May fourth, and you can find all the
details at Olfira Eisenberg dot com. And we have another
Parenting is a Joke live episode planned in June is
(43:23):
a little like School's Over. Have a drink and enjoy
a great comedy show. It's going to be in New Jersey,
actually in Hoboken on June fourteenth at the Miles Square Theater.
Tickets will be on sale soon, so until then, follow
me everywhere at Ofira e. Our episode is produced by
me and Julie Smith Klem. Our editor is Nina Porzuki.
(43:44):
Our sound designer is Tino Tooby Mack. Our digital marketing
is done by Laura Vogel. Our video editor is Melissa Weiss.
Our overqualified intern is Jeffery Coffin. Thanks to all of
the engineers at Citybox, and I'll leave you with the
sounds of a kid ratching a rash
I used to be cheers all let them still a
thing of sales fun phantoms a joke.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, listeners, this is parenting is a joke.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
I'm a bag of unsalted pretzels named Oh f your
eyes R. On the show, we bring together professional funny
people and stand up Canadians to talk about their career,
being creative and raising kids at the same time and
how they are doing it. Yeah, how the fuck are
they doing it? Let's talk about a load light of
(00:31):
spring kids. Rashets, rashets. They are disgusting, gross. Okay, there
is a im patigo. There is moloscum. There's cocksacki virus
a favorite. These all sound so phallic or like they're
deep sea evil shellfish. And if you are not familiar
(00:53):
with any of these, you're very lucky. My advice is,
do not google them, don't put them in any search
engine of any kind, because I regret that day.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
So there's some rashes floating around, okay, and just general sickness.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
My kid is sick.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So I talked to another parent. They're like, oh, we
had a rolling around our house. It seems like everybody
is complaining about some weird cold again, is it because
everyone got back from spring break and they're just passing
along some Delta, Jet Blue and Spirit Airline germs. Is
it because one day the temperature is thirty and the
next day it's ninety five. Or is it allergies the
(01:31):
catch all of all sneezes allergies because that happens every year.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Or is it everything? Yeah, you know what, it's everything.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Probably.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
So that was a low light. But here's a highlight.
My guest Andy Richter, and he talks about how he
does not negotiate with toddlers and how his older kids
assumed they would be doing more babysitting when he first
sirt dating his current wife, and.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I was like, we don't trust you with the kid.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Relax.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Look, yeah, no.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's not gonna happen because I don't trust you to
keep a baby alive.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
More with me and Andy Richter right after this at break, Hey, listeners,
So April it's over.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Wow, what a whirlwind.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I had so much work travel, but also our whole
team had different weeks of school vacation off. So I
gotta tell you, for a crew of working moms, it
was a production juggle, and we made it happen. Okay,
So we deserve a parade trophies week off, and we
will get none of those, willow. I have joked before
(02:47):
that you know what era of childhood I grew up
in because we felt shame, we were allowed to fail. Okay,
and I know we all like to rail against us.
Oh everybody's a winner, huh. Oh you got a participation badge.
But also once you get used to it, for your kid,
I gotta say, it's kinda nice, okay, because they love winning,
(03:10):
and I don't want my kid to feel bad.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
All right.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I agree, he has to learn about losing, failing, feeling
left out.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's all part of life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
But there is another part of me that goes, you
know what, Life's gonna kick the shit out of you,
whether you get a trophy for no reason in third
grade or not.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So why not enjoy the dumb trophy? Why not never fail?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Because I am actually jealous of those people who have
an unwavering sense of entitlement.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I am trying to learn it now, and it's harder. Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
I'm also really wavering here on this whole idea that
you can really build up resistance by bouncing back from failures.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
When you're young, you know the whole Oh little kids
are so resilient. No, no, they are not.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
They are the same as us. That's why we talk
about our childhood in therapy. Now, we indeed did not
bounce back. Okay, we just kept going until we had
enough money in our pocket to pay for therapy. Because
you know what comes up in my therapy the fact
that the one day I missed school kindergarten because I
was sick, that was cupcake Day and everyone was talking
(04:20):
about it the next day.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I remember that, and it comes up.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Okay, my son came home from school sad because one
of the boys in his class was having a birthday
party over the weekend and my son was not invited.
And that boy told him that he could only have
a limited amount of people, and I guess my.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Kid did not make the cut.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
When he told me, I was not fucking happy.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Okay, I feel very strongly about including everyone, especially at
this age, because you know what, when we threw Lucas
a party last fall, we invited the goddamn entire class
to his party and paid for them by the head,
like a wedding. And that kid came and he played
the games, and he ate the pizza. He drank a
(05:09):
juice box. I think he had two. Okay, so you
know what I want. I want to check in the
mail for that amount back to me. And you know
what else, I want apologies. I want apologies all round.
I want an apology from the kid. I want apology
from the kid's parents for making my kid feel left out.
I don't even know if my kid was a shit
(05:31):
to that kid and that's why he wasn't invited.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
But you know what, I look at.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
These kids and they're all shits to each other, so
who fucking knows or cares invite them. I want apologies
from his school for just being subpar all round. I
want apology from my husband for everything. I want an
apology from Ali Caseman, who did not invite me to
her birthday party in the sixth grade and they all
thought they successfully hid it from me. But you know
(05:57):
what I knew, Yeah, I knew that comes up in therapy,
but all of this misplaced angericide.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I tried to tell.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Him, yes, I hear you, that sucks, but you know,
you just gotta let it go and focus your energy
on the people you do like playing with and call friends.
But then he started ranting at me that parents have
the worst advice. They always say, let it go, shake
it off. But does anyone actually know how to do that,
because kids don't. Mom, and I tried to say that
(06:27):
I get it, but you know, we only say the
stuff to you because we've been through it, and when
we look back, we just wish we spent more time
enjoying ourselves and doing things that made us happy, rather
spending time on stuff that doesn't make us happy, and
it doesn't end up mattering as much. And he said, well,
it doesn't help me to think about looking back when
I'm in it.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh my god, He's so right.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And I get it because I even have said as
an adult, no, I can't see the fucking.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Bright side right now.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Okay, there are no magic answers. There is no perfect fix,
except of course, for a written apology in the mail.
Send it, write it down and send it.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do I sound unhinged? Please please tell me you've experienced something.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Similar, and if you have it, you can also tell
me so I can live vicariously through your excellent, conflict
free life full of birthday goodie bags.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
All right, you know who.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Seems to be living a somewhat conflict free life right now,
his best life, who is thriving Andy Richter. He is
currently chilling in a hotel solo in Atlanta, so enjoy
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So you likely know.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
My guest as Conan O'Brien's sidekick on the talk show
Late Night, The Tonight Show and Conan. He also hosts
his own podcast called Three Questions with Andy Richter. He
is in the television series Andy Richter Controls the Universe
and Quintuplets. He has voiced so many characters out there too.
(08:10):
I'm talking Madagascar. I've watched that many times with my child,
The Mighty Bee, American Dad, Star Trek Lower Decks a favorite,
and so many more animated hits. It is the insanely
talented Andy richteror.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
O Hi, Hi, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Oh my god, thank you so much. And you know,
just as any parent that I talk to that is
coming into the recording from a hotel room, I always
feel that sense of jealousy of like, oh, yeah, you're
in space. You've got twudred square feet just for you.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Oh it is, And I have to I do have
to kind of keep it under my hat because I'm
here I'm in Atlanta recording episodes of twenty five Words
or Less, which is a syndicated game show that Mareth
Viera hosts, and I am playing word games for money
and helping people make money. So it's all really good.
But I was in the time coming up to this.
(09:05):
I couldn't tell it because I have a four year
old at home now, and my twenty three year old
lives with this too. I just couldn't say, you know, like, oh, that.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Sweethetel like.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
It's going to be a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, that TV. That TV. That's that no one else
has any say over.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Oh, how many kids do you have total?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I have three totals.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Yeah, I have a twenty three year old fella, a
eighteen year old gal.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
And then a four year old. We're not sure yet,
you know, right right exact?
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Actually, actually she is. She's the most like gender specific
of all my children. She is a girl like pants. No,
I'm wearing a dress, yes, princesses and a little more
than my more than I would like an aunt who
(10:01):
is a Disney adult and who is actually actually because
my wife grew up in Wittier and I think her
entire family at one point worked at Disneyland during their
high school and college years because my sister in law
was Jasmine for a while. They're Mexican Americans, so she
could play Jasmine. She's aye close enough you can be Jasmine.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Well, my wife was. She was characters. She was like
Roger Rabbit.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
And my sister in law has maintained friendships with all
those people and she's all wired in and so she's
actually she takes her daughter down there. God like once
a month, really due. They'll go down there and they
won't even go on rides. I'll just do princess crap.
I'm like, what what's wrong with you too?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I only went to and it was Disneyland when I
was a little bit older, Like I was thirteen years
old the first time I went there, so I kind
of missed it as a child. But I took my
I was a seven year old, sorry, when he was seven.
He's eight years old now last year, and let me
tell you, it was overwhelming. We were at the one
in Orlando. There was meltdowns and a lot of like
(11:09):
why these lines and stuff? And yet when I talked
to him about it, now, I go of all the
places we visited, where would you like to go back.
He always says Disney World, And I'm like, how you
actually the whole time we were there, I felt like
you did not enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Uh, but that's family vacations in a nutshell.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
It is so true.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
And I look back on the trips, you know, I've
had the exact same experience where it's like just a stressful,
awful trip to fill in the blank and the kids
screaming and yelling and fighting, and a month.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Later, oh my god, that was so great. Oh I
loved it. It was so great, what a great time, Like, you.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Know, where were you? Because I know where.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I was right right right? I remember, I remember you
do not?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, but you know, speaking of which not like Eddie
fays in, a kid's life is bad, but some are
harder than others. You have a toddler or just an
out of toddler phase now, right, But it's been fourteen
years since you had a four year old last Yeah,
what's the comparison.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Well, you know, it's it's not just like a clear
cut sort of differential between because I'm a different person
than I was fourteen years ago. Like I'm I'm newly
remarried and very very happy you know, like, and I
don't mean this in any sort of like, you know,
(12:38):
to be throwing shade at any previous time in my life,
because I also too, just in my own personal development,
I've been I you know, I've dealt with depression forever
and ever and then the last I don't know however
many ten or so years, I have just kind of
come out of that. So I'm just a happier person
having a four year old now. Is it's easier because
(13:00):
I'm I have a more upbeat attitude about life generally speaking.
It is an interesting situation and like because like I
will say, I did choose her, like I did not
have to marry her mother. She was she was about
you know, she was a little over a year and
a half old when I when when my wife and
I met and we started dating, and that was certainly
(13:22):
you know, that's part of the equation is I'm going
to be this little girl's daddy, and do I want
to do that? And very shortly into the relationship, I
was like, oh, absolutely, you know, absolutely I want to
do this. It was in my reckoning a separate thing
from do I love her mother? You know, I mean
(13:42):
I had to love my wife first, and then the
second step was like, and I'm going to want to
raise this kid. And I do want to raise this kid.
I mean people will say, oh, she's got your.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Eyes, and I'm like, no, that's fine. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
You know, people talk about how parenting is easier for grandparents,
that they can you know that grandparents they get all
the all the gravy and none of the you know,
none of the work, yeah, little kids, because they can
just send them back home when they get tiresome. And
I think I have a touch of that, and it
isn't that I can send her back home when when
(14:22):
it gets shitty.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Can I say shitty?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
They on here?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Okay, right, Okay, I at the playground with you know,
I'll see a dad twenty years younger than me with
a four year old and just that dead look in
his eyes. I'm like, oh, I remember that, And buddy,
don't worry.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's it gets now.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It gets it's not even so much, it gets better.
It's just like it's not as bad as you think it's.
It's not like it's not as your life is not over,
so relax, you don't there's not a lot of room
for you, right, now.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
But honestly, that's a blessing, you know.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Uh uh, It's not that I've just been through what
it is to have a four year old. I've been
through what it is to have the whole expanse, even
to the point where before I even met my little one,
I was already starting to get the feeling, the empty nest,
feeling of oh shit, you are just gonna leave, aren't you.
(15:27):
You're just gonna You're just gonna go and do like
what we always, you know, said was the deal. You know,
we're always as parents ideally working towards our own obsolescence,
you know, like the idea is to make them not
need you in.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
A healthy way.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
I started to feel that and started to feel like, yikes, wow,
holy shit, this is kind of heavy and I was
not expecting this, and it made me and made me
have a little sympathy for my mother, who I think
had always been a you know, fly free little birds.
And then when she started to feel the empty ness
is like, wait a minute, hold on, come back my
(16:08):
younger brother and sister, I think she got a lot
more like hold on a minute, where are you going?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Wait a second, I don't stick around, damn it.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
You say, though, you have a twenty three year old
living at home. Did that child move back?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He did, Okay did, But I mean, you know, that's
not like a forever situation, of course.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Honestly having him in twenty nineteen, I moved out of.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
The house and.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
The absolute worst part of that was not living under
the same roof as my children. And when my son
moved back into with me, that was the first time
that that happened again as a permanent arrangement, not as
a weekends at dad's or you know, Tuesday and Thursday
night dinners at Dad's. It was I now have one
(16:54):
of my children living with me and one of my
older children living with me again, And so I am
just I am just thrilled to have him back on
a daily basis. And I mean, and I'm not it's
not like hearts and rainbows. It's very you know, it
still it's still just like everyday stuff. But I just
love having them around. And the notion of like people
(17:16):
saying like, well, he might live with you for however
many you know, they say.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
It's not stuff.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I'm like, all right, he can have that room, and
you know, and he helps, he cooks, he cleans. He
you know, he's starting to babysit, so yeah, I mean yeah,
he did say when he moved in, like, look, I
don't want.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
You to take advantage of me for babysitting.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Which I was like, first of all, I'm like, first
of all, you've gotta.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
You got you have to pass the tests. First of all,
I'm not just gonna tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Say hey, stay with this, hey, twenty three year olds,
twenty three year old art.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Students, stay with this four year old.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
You know, you know we're gonna ease you into it,
but yeah, you are gonna babysit, and you're gonna dog
walk and you're gonna your grocery shop.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
He's really great about all of it. It's all just
like a really happy, happy time for me.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
That's amazing. I love the idea too, of like your
twenty three year old being like I might not want
to contribute to this level, and you're like, oh, you
weren't in the running yet the case relax.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Yeah, Well, my daughter, when Jen, my wife and I
were dating, we just we rented a house, a beach
house in Ventura County a couple of years ago, and
my daughter was like I Am not going to just
let you guys go up and you're just do the babysitting.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I was like, we don't trust.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
You with the kid. Relax, Like, yeah, no, that's not
gonna happen because I don't trust you to keep a
baby alive.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
But also because you have this sort of different perspective,
was your wife like turns to you and going, well,
you know you've been through this, how does this work?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
There is a little bit of that.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
There is a little bit of that, And I was
kind of like, it is a very unattractive thing for
me to say. But when we first started dating and
we met on we met on hinge, we met online
just because.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
I'm older, and to me, it was like, oh, that's,
you know, right, dating service. You know just.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well if you call it service, well you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
But that's what that's how old my mind is.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I'm thinking of like old love American style skits where
it's like I joined.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
A dating service or a matchmaker. You know.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I did look down my nose at dating aps and
then I got on and won, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, no, what of course this makes total sense. Like
and the metaphor of used is if you want to
play pool, you go to a billiard's hall, you don't
go to the supermarket and then try and guess who's
in the mood to play pool. So when we met.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Because my wife is nine years younger than me, so
at the time forty something, that but that she had
a little kid that she had on her own, and
that she was a single mom. And then we started texting,
and in my mind, from just some experience that I've
had in life, I was like, oh, she's crazy, like
(20:11):
just the notion that like a you know, like somebody
that had been devoted to their career and then like
I'm gonna have a baby, Like I've known.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
A few of those people and they're kind of crazy.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I felt terrible assuming that because the minute I met
her and I thought she was going to be a
helicopter mom and like super stressy and yeah, just like
just totally chill, just a wonderful mother, a great relationship
with her daughter, silly and fun and really enjoys being
(20:42):
a mom. You know, needs when she needs to work,
she needs to work, and she needs her you know,
she'd also knows like look like when her mother comes over,
take her mom. I got stuff to do, right, you know, Yeah,
she understands the boundaries and the proportion of of doing
it all. So she's really really great and all that.
(21:05):
But I'm sorry I'm getting around answering your questions. But
like one of the first times while we were dating,
because my daughter did kind of run things. She was
she's a COVID baby. She came home like two weeks
from the hospital, two weeks before lockdown. Oh yeah, so
it was just my and my wife's sister moved in
(21:26):
with her, so it was just Mama and Teachy that's
what she calls her aunt.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
It was just the two of them for a long time.
So and she runs like she runs her grandparents. She's
she is the boss of Gamma and Gampy. Me coming
into the picture was a little bit like all of
a sudden, like I would say, like I'm the hammer
like that, like I'm going to be the one that's like,
(21:51):
negotiations are over, Yes, I'm gonna do this, and and
she and she also too, she hates having anything done
for her. She wasn't going to bed and she was, no,
I'm not going to go to bed, and Jen, you know,
the negotiations are just going on and on and on,
and so I finally just said, look, I'm going to
count the three.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
You're going to bed. It's time to go to bed,
and I'm going to count the three. And when I
get to three, if you say no and you're not
walking on the way to bed, I'm going to pick
you up and put you into bed and you're going
to stay there and you're going to go to sleep.
And she I counted the three and she looked at
me and there was a pause, and then she went noye.
(22:31):
And I picked her up, and she immediately went rigid
and did one of those silent screams, like the kind
where she can't even breathe, yeah, screaming, so so desperately
picked her up, put her into bed. She tried to
get out once I put her back in, and I said, no,
you're going to stay there and you're going to go
to sleep. The night you had your chance, covered her up,
(22:52):
shut out the lights, and she cried. But then't you know,
it's like I know this drill, and I know that
the crying will last out three or four minutes and.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Then she'll be asleep.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
Yep, And that's what happened, and I said to Jen afterwards,
I said, because I just did that.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I didn't say, like, uh, tomorrow I might intercede. I
just I just did that.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I'll put it in an application.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
Yeah, I said to her, I said, I hope. I said,
I hope you're okay that I did that. And she said,
are you crazy?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
That was sexy? It was amazing. And then and I
and she.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Said, and she goes because she goes like, I don't
know what the hell I'm doing. She's like, I'm just
every day wing is just kind of just winging it, so,
you know. And then I asked her like, I'm like,
did you read parenting books?
Speaker 4 (23:42):
And she's kind of like she was like, yeah, kind of,
you know, I mean I kind of browsed them and
got the gist.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And I was like, oh my god, I fucking love
you so much.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Did you know did you reads?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I browsed them, you know, I got the bullet points,
you know, I mean, I was I was definitely given
a signed reading.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
With the first two, and I.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Kind of, you know, I was like, all right, yeah,
I get it, okay, Yeah, don't touch the soft spot,
you know, right. But I also too, I have a
half brother and sister who are twins who are nine
years younger than me, and my mother worked and there
was no like I was changing diapers when those kids
were still wet. Wow, because she just is like, I
(24:28):
don't you know, you got to help me. I've been
taking care of little kids since I was nine years old,
on and off and some you know, you know, so
I know the drill.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Basically, did you feel growing up that your parents were
in control? I mean you were just talking about that
you were a huge contributor to just the general household
taking care of kids. Did you feel like they kept
the tigers at bathe.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Somewhat somewhat, you know. After my parents split up. I
was four when they split up, and it was a
real blow to my mother, and we moved back in
with my grandparents, with her parents, and.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
My mom was kind of.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
She was just I just like I say, I have
a picture of her in a waitress uniform laying on
the couch with her with her forearm over her eyes.
You know, but that yeah, and just sort of just
shell shocked, you know. She was very loving, caring, Like
I say, really, as I mentioned before, like really did
(25:29):
encourage us to do what we wanted didn't put a
lot on us, didn't put a lot of her expectations
on us. That did require a lot of self reliance.
And there was a lot of stuff like if I
needed a piece of you know, clothing clean, I went
and did it, and my mom was sort of straight
up with me. I got a lot going on. If
you want something washed, y'all wash it eventually. But if
(25:50):
you want to wash now, you got to do it.
I think about this a lot when I was in
junior high school. Our junior high school was so small,
and they just had a policy see that every boy
and every girl had to take both what they called IA,
which was industrial arts, which was shot class.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And home ech.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I learned cooking, I learned sewing, you know, and so
I can still. I mean, it takes me a while
to get to figure it out again, but like I
could use a sewing machine, and so like I would
if there was a pants that needed mending or something,
I could, you know, I could patch my pants, you know,
And I ended up doing that. It did inspire a
(26:31):
kind of self reliance. On the flip side, too, I
do think I spent a lot of time feeling kind
of lonely in terms of like, you know, in my
developmental years, I think I did feel a little bit
I felt the cold wind blowing, you know, at different
times in my in my development I was certainly aware
of a lot of adult sort of stresses and situations.
(26:54):
And I also, too, I felt like I had to
solve a lot of problems on my own. If I
could self critique of my older kids, I don't think
they have enough self reliance.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Oh really, I think that.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
I I think that I took too much care of them.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Uh, you know, in tandem with my ex wife. Yeah,
my wife, now.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
She's she's a worker and has been a worker, and
like from a family of workers, and very frugal and
you know, my I'd say, my wife is allergic to
spending an extra nickel on something that she needs to,
whereas that was not a skill I ever was taught.
I was a worker too. I mean, I'm not great
(27:34):
with money, but I'm a worker. And from you know,
I think I was eleven when I had my first
paper route, and then that got that went to a
bigger paper route, and then that went to working for
my stepfather and his plumbing business, and that and then
and then you know, played sports and that kind of
cut into kind of work stuff. But then halfway through
(27:56):
high school, like like I quit the football team because
I just.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Was like, this is not for me, you know, this
Lord of the Fly stuff is not for me. And
I got it.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Yeah, I got a job in the grocery store. And
then I worked in the grocery store and went to
like I always have had a job. My son's driving
for Uber eats, yeah, you know when he's done like
some sort of studio work. He's an art student for
studio work for different artists, but like he's never really
had a burger flipping job or a grocery store job.
(28:28):
And I do kind of feel like there is some
absolutely genuine value to eating shit in the workaday world,
Like there really is, like like just the experience of
that asshole gets to tell.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Me, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
But also I mean because I my parents had a
grocery store, so I too worked at a grocery store,
and then I worked at like coffee shops. And the
one thing that I always say that is different from
like Uber eats, what you miss is like the other
people you get to hang out with or despise, who
are your managers, your co workers, like I felt like
(29:07):
I learned so much from those people.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Absolutely, it's not bad money for what he's making. And
he could be you know, he could be waiting tables,
he could you know, or he could be flipping burgers
and making less money. He isn't learning the workplace yet.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
All right, well let him listen to this interview. If
you want to be passive about it, all.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Right, yeah, I'll send it right over.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
How did you broach the subject to your kids when
you decided to remarry.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I just told him I just you were dating.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Did they know that they were?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah? They knew I was dating.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
And actually and Jen was the first person that I
that I dated that I.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Introduced them to.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Okay, I had dated other people, but nothing ever was
serious enough that I that it got to that level.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
So they knew it was serious. You know. I've heard
stories and you see it in TV shows and in movies.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
About parents going I think I'm going to ask Mary
to marry me. Yeah, you know, And I just kind
of felt like, you know what, it's my business. A
they're like older, and I did kind of feel like
I don't. I mean, I'm going to tell them, but
it's not if they went, no, you can't, I would
be like, yeah, I can actually, and sorry, you gotta
(30:30):
get used to it. And that was just sort of
how I felt about it, because I had absolute faith
that I was marrying somebody good and kind and was
marrying her for the right reasons. I wasn't marrying like,
you know, some twenty six year old jewelry designer, you
(30:52):
know that I met on Briah or something. I was
marrying a real grown up woman that you know, own
your own business and you know, and whom I was
very very much in love with, and they were gonna
have to deal with it, uh, you know, one.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Way or the other.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
And I don't even mean that, and like, you know,
like a fuck you kind of way I mean it,
and like you're just gonna have to trust me that
what I'm doing is yes, of course good for me,
but it's gonna be good.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
For all right. I hope you can be happy about it.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm already learning from you that one of the major
tenants of your parenting style, which I love, is sort
of to be unwavering with just what it is.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
I think that, you know, I think children deserve honesty.
And when I started having children, and I think it
was before I had children too, But there's so much
shit that you learned the minute that that kid comes out.
There's all kinds of stuff where you're.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Like, oh, yeah, right, oh geez, and a lot of
it is like, oh, my parents should not have it,
you know.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
The idea of lying to your kids was considered protective
and wonderful.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
My biggest critique of most people's parenting and somewhat of
the parenting that I received, is that you are not
giving enough respect, just plain old respect to your children.
They deserve to hear the truth if the truth does
not hurt them, you know, right and or or hurt
(32:32):
them irreparably, you know, because sometimes the truth does hurt,
but that hurt.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
Is a kind of growing in its own way. There's
also the oversharing of parenting that I am familiar with,
and there was a lot of things that were the
truth that I heard that weren't necessarily necessary, you know that,
just like things like opinions and just feelings, like like
hearing your parents feel this particular way about something or something,
(33:00):
I want to just be like, I don't need to
know that, you like details of my parents' sex life.
I don't need to hear that your sexuality should be
completely walled off from your children except to be like,
you know, you could kiss your wife and you kiss
your spouse and be affectionate. But in terms of like
(33:20):
the nuts and bolts of.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
It, no, no, no, how did come to you.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Being treated like an adult and a confidant and you
know and just somebody, you know, just a pal that
you're talking to and sharing stuff and you know, reminiscences
and stuff. And then there's just times where I'm like,
I'm fucking fifteen years old, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Like?
Speaker 4 (33:40):
So at the time I thought like, oh, it felt
very grown up and very kind of special. Yeah, And
now looking back on it, I realized, no, no, it
was that's not right.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Tangentially related to that, I was looking at reading and
looking at an interview where you talked about being very
frustrated that other people were posting stuff online about your life,
especially in terms of your divorce, and that you had
made a joke on Twitter about being a divorced ad
and then deleted it because you felt like, you know,
(34:14):
this is the kind of stuff that has to be
I need to protect my family. How do you figure
the balance kind of between what is appropriate and also
how you use your personal life for comedy what's off limits.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
It's it's hard. It's hard, and like it's a case
by case basis.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Usually there have been, you know, self caused lumps that
I've had to take. I process things through jokes. Comedy
oversharing can be fantastic. Yes, you know, like real life
oversharing not so much. Comedy oversharing can be really good.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
It's like when you throw your vulnerability out there and
you're just like, oh, this is standard vulnerability for me,
and they're like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, it's like, oh, you don't have a stupid human body,
you know, Like yeah, you know, we're all.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Just like these leaking bags. You know, what are you acting.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
All high and mighty for? So the way I process
things is making jokes. Getting divorce is the worst thing
that ever happened to me. By the time that it
was public knowledge, it had been months and months and months,
so I had already had like time to process the
worst of it. What I liked about Twitter was that
I was hanging out with my funny online friends making jokes. Yeah,
(35:27):
and I had very little sort of professional calculation about
the whole thing. It just was like I think of
something funny and I put it out there. I'm not
a stand up If I thought of something funny, I
could take and put it on a stage, But I
don't like I don't like stand up clubs. I don't
like being I don't like being on stage by myself.
(35:47):
So like this was just like no, I mean and
I and I already I got to perform on TV
every night, so I had that luxury.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah, so I could if I had.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
A joke, I'd just throw it out there in the world.
And also Twitter was always a fun sort of like writing,
like it's a writing trick, learning economy.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Oh yeah, when it had the limit, it really Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
When I had the limit, like writing jokes, it was
almost like a word puzzle at times.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
And then when I was a divorce dad, I started
making divorced dad wisecracks. And then I realized this might
not be so funny to your kids, like divorce dad.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
As like I'm a divorce dad. There's a really sad connotation.
There's a real sad center to saying I'm a divorce dad.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
It's not a funny topic for a lot of people, right,
So I had to learn that.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Yeah, and in theory, you're like, I totally get this,
but I'm just at a different stage in processing it. Yes,
right exactly, which you can't put in one hundred and
fifty five characters.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Ps, No, you can't. I learned lots of lessons on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Like my son, my twenty three year old, is gay.
And I've talked about having a gay son for a
number of years, and there have been people in my
family who have been like, how does your son? And
I said, I talked to him about Hi. I'm like, hey,
can I say you're gay? And he's like, yeah, sure,
you know. I mean, as a dad of a gay teen,
(37:12):
I have noticed this or whatever. There's no shame attached
to it. It's it's if he were a hockey player,
I'd say he's a hockey player. You know.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Well, now that would be shameful, though, Let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
I listen, you gotta let the kids do what they want.
If they want to play hockey, you've got to let them.
It's in him, it's got to come out. But my son,
when he was little, I took him to see a
friend's soccer game trying to be you know, and I'm not.
I'm not a hugely sporty guy myself, but I took
him to a soccer game of his friends, thinking, oh,
you know, he's coming to this age. Here's five six
(37:49):
something like that, and we were watching it and I said, hey, would.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
You like to do this?
Speaker 4 (37:53):
He goes like, I do not want to do anything
where there are other parents yelling.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
That really that is a good that really sort of
like cuts off a lot of a lot of possibilities here,
but it's.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
Good to know that is astute though. Okay, just to
close this out, I want to ask you a couple
like kind of non sequitur. We call them rapid fire questions,
but you don't have to answer in like two words.
But here you go. Would you yourself rather watch bad improv?
(38:33):
Bad sketch comedy or bad stand up?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Oh boy?
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Oh this really is like what flavor of shit sandwich?
Would you like it?
Speaker 4 (38:46):
I think bad improv just because I would be most
sympathetic because having been there, you know what I mean,
like bad stand up and you know, no bad stand.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Up, bad stand up too.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
You can be like you wrote this, you had time
to think about this. Yeah, these improv kids, they're just
making shit up as they go along.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
You know, sometimes you don't get a great suggestion. Yeah,
what's the last time you said no to one of
your children?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Oh? Well, the four year old is a daily occurrence,
you know, with the older ones.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
My son had a car that came off lease, the
car that I and I was paying the car that I.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Paid for, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
And rather than just take it.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Back to the dealership, we took it to CarMax and
because you can get in cash, and my son was like, hey, cod,
I have that, and I just was like, no, no,
that is my money.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
That is my two grand He was like.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Okay, do your kids think you're cool?
Speaker 1 (39:57):
No? No, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (39:59):
I think they and I think they appreciate the aspects
of me and my personality and in my parenting. But no,
I don't think they think that they think I'm a
big Midwestern idiot.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Really yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know, my son one time when he was ah gosh,
he was probably probably seven or eight, and he came
to a set of a show that I was on,
and like everybody was being real nice to him and
like they were.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
He got there.
Speaker 4 (40:26):
There was like a little motorized camera dolly for a
tracking shot and we were at like a little municipal
airport and they put him on the camera dolly and
he was riding as they were shooting, and as we
drove home, he goes like, Dad, you have a really
cool job. And it was just funny to me because
he'd been around SE's a number of times and it
just he just happened to notice that day, right, that
(40:47):
like it was a cool job, and you know, and
I was glad that it was. He wasn't starstruck that
it was all very sort of nuts and bolts to him,
and it was Dad's job, you know exactly.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Is there a TV dead or a dead and that
you've interviewed that you look up to.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
I worked for Robert Altman. I went to film school,
and he was one of my heroes. He had at
least four of his kids, four or five of his
kids working for him, and he was a complicated guy
and he could be very cantankerous and he could also
be really hard, like hard on his kids that were
working for him. His one son was his production designer,
(41:26):
and I saw them have a screaming fight. But the
truth is they all worked for each other, and they
all worked for different people. It wasn't just like they
worked for their dad because that was all they could do.
But that was really I felt that that was really
something to aspire to, to be able to have your
kids love you enough and like you enough to still
(41:49):
want to spend sixteen hours a day with Jani set.
You know, if like my kids want to work on
a show that I'm working on, that would be that
would be fantastic.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
That's beautiful. Thank you so much, Andy, Thank you so
much for joy Thank you about this taking time from
your luxurious hotel stay.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Oh yes to cheer it hi.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
It have a great time filming and yeah, thanks, thanks
so much. Thank you so much for listening past this
episode along to a friend who would enjoy it. And
next week special we have a live episode for you
from Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas with rosebud Baker
(42:33):
and Andy Haynes, So look forward to that. If you
haven't yet subscribed to this podcast, you won't want to
miss one thing coming up and you know it's up
by Apple Podcast. If you can post a review, it
really helps us. I appreciate it so much. Follow us
on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook for extra content. And Parenting
is a joke on x we are parenting joke and
(42:54):
we have a substack with you content every single week.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
How do we do it?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Go to substach and search for parenting as a joke.
I promise you will love it. Hey, upcoming dates, I'm
going to the Pacific Northwest. You can come see me
in Paulo, Alto on May second, Portland, Oregon on May third,
Seattle on May fourth, and you can find all the
details at Olfira Eisenberg dot com. And we have another
Parenting is a Joke live episode planned in June is
(43:23):
a little like School's Over. Have a drink and enjoy
a great comedy show. It's going to be in New Jersey,
actually in Hoboken on June fourteenth at the Miles Square Theater.
Tickets will be on sale soon, so until then, follow
me everywhere at Ofira e. Our episode is produced by
me and Julie Smith Klem. Our editor is Nina Porzuki.
(43:44):
Our sound designer is Tino Tooby Mack. Our digital marketing
is done by Laura Vogel. Our video editor is Melissa Weiss.
Our overqualified intern is Jeffery Coffin. Thanks to all of
the engineers at Citybox, and I'll leave you with the
sounds of a kid ratching a rash
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