March 28, 2024 • 16 mins
A bonus rapid fire Q & A this week with comedian Matt Goldich! Ophira chats with Matt about what he'd do if he had a night off from performing AND parenting, and he shares his best parenting tips.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, listeners, We're back with a rapid fire chat with
a very funny comic. He is a longtime writer for
Late Night with Seth Myers. He's been nominated for five
Emmy Awards for his work on the show, and he's
also performed stand up on Late Night and on The
Late Late Show. And he just released brand new product,
(00:24):
brand new comedy album and special out there right now
called No Questions Asked, Very funny. Check it out. Mecolditch.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hello, thank you Ofira. Hello, so happy to be here.
I can't tell you how relieved I am. My daughter
woke up with a bit of a cough no this morning,
and I was worried that she was gonna have to
stay home from school and I was going to take
care of her. And I was like, no, I have
to exploit you for this parenting podcast. I cannot miss this.
And thankfully we got her, We got her in shape,
(00:57):
good enough to go, no other symptoms. I don't want
to hear any complaints for the other parents, So.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I mean, a cough, come on, that's like nothing. Yeah, okay,
what are the ages of your kids?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Mine are? I believe our sons are around the same age.
My son just turned nine and my daughter is four.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Okay, what do they have in common? Your kids? How
do you do?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You go?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Like a clearly siblings.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Not very much torturing each other. They like to torture
each other. They like to you know, the only time
they'll ever get together, because they're very far apart in
age and interests, is if it's something that's really like
they will agree to. Just just tear apart the couch cushions,
like right when I want to sit down, just like
take all the cushions off the couch and take it,
(01:40):
turn it into a playground. If anything that it means
is me, they will agree on. But anything that anything, No,
they'll never never agree on anything that I want them
to do.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So you don't drop them both off at gymnastics or
both off at.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I don't know, you know what's so funny our kid.
I don't know why this happened, but our kids fell
so into gender roles, and I don't I didn't do
anything to I was I was always like, you guys
can do whatever you want. I have no And for
some reason he does baseball and she does gymnastics, and
you know, I mean there's certain obviously there are a
lot of movies and TV shows that they'll both be into.
(02:20):
But man, no, I don't drop them off. Thankfully, next year,
I think they are going to finally, finally go to
the same school, and so we'll drop them off of
the bus in the morning and they'll go off to
the same school, and then we'll be that will make.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
My dreams come true, your dreams come true? Did you
always want children?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Always? I never, It never occurred to me not to Yes,
I think, I you know, well, you know, my parents
were parents, and uh no, that's obvious.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But uh no, I drew up in a world of
people having children.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, I didn't have the anxiety about, oh is it
really uh a good idea to bring children into this
world until I already had them, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Right, I feel like that's very common, I mean, too.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Late at that point. Yeah, No, I always wanted kids.
I always knew i'd be a dad, and I came
from I mean, we had our issues, but it was
a stable family where you know, the my parents have
been married for a long time, and the core group
of the me, my parents, and my brothers and I
we all get along relatively well. And so I think
(03:25):
I wanted to, you know, continue that.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We know each other from the stand up world, and
then you're a comedy writer for a very long time.
Now you still do stand up, so would you you
know on those days where you're working the day and
then you got a spot at night, which I feel
like you do that.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, a couple of times a week. Yeah, it's hard
to do all three. Well, right, it's hard to be
a good husband and parent, have a full time job,
and be a good stand up And that's why I
choose to be a b B minus parent and stand up.
Those are sort of the you know, and then I'll
do I do a good job at work. Yeah, so
(04:04):
I mean, but you know, it is it is a
balancing act. It helps to have a wife who's very understanding,
and I'm very understanding of her. You know, she works
full time and she I will often pick up the
slack when she's busier, and but it is challenging. And
but the thing that I realized which is helpful, is
(04:28):
it is less exhausting to go out and do stand
up than it is to stay home and do bedtime.
So you think you're not going to have energy at
the end of the day of a full day working
to go do a show. But compared to trying to
wrangle two monsters into bed, I mean, it's it's much easier.
(04:48):
It's it takes, it requires less of you, so stand
up and work. Also for me, I consider, I mean,
we're lucky, right. Our jobs are making jokes, they're writing jokes.
It's fun stuff, and so it's a vacation. It's it's
it's it's a joy to do. And I don't feel
like it's hard, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It's it's sometimes I do so much the work at
night that I get really overloaded and I go, oh
my god, I just want three nights off. I got
to recharge, and then that will happen. And by the
third night, I'm like, how do I get out of here?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Like I cannot find that gentle balance.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, and once you have your kids are school age,
I mean hypothetically, you know, even if your your days
should be you know, I mean, I guess some people
have a stressful day job, but mine tends to be
you know, pretty pretty fun, and so I don't so
the days are enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What is the last thing you said no to uh
to your kids?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
About the last thing I said no to my kids. Okay,
So my son has has gotten it very into the
the New York Times games.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Oh yeah, word'll we'll.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Do the world altogether. We'll do the ones and then
you know, some of them are not his brain or
like tiles. I mean, Tiles is good, you're matching things.
But this morning he was like, can I do you know?
There's one on our phone. It's basically just drawing, and
I was like, no, you cannot do that on my phone.
At seventeen in the morning before school, I was like,
you know, if you want to do the world with me, fine,
(06:22):
you know, we'll use our brains a little bit. But
you know it's how they suck you in. Oh yeah,
with the smart ones. And then the next thing, you know,
you know your parents are you know your kids are
on the New York Times app basically just you know,
turning their brains into mush.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's right. Turn Oh okay, I can't wait for my
follow up. Okay, So that's that's one one child. Have
you said? Did you say know about something else to
your daughter? No?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
In fact, this morning she actually because she was coughing,
she had to she did the nebulizer before school and
so she actually got to watch some of Frozen two
before school, which is very unusual that she would get
to watch a movie before school. But because she had
(07:07):
to sit still and do that, it's the only way
to get her to sit still and do the nebulizer,
that was what she got.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And you know, you're setting yourself up to her going
can I watch a movie before school? And you're like no,
And she's gonna be like remember that time that will
be lodged in her brain and she's going.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'm sick. I'm sick. I need my movie before school.
You know. No, they're they're yeah, so very smart, but
also you know not that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Oh yeah right, No, they're manipulative, but not they're not strategizing.
That's what I say. It's like, your strategy is off,
your manipulation is very high. So what TV show or
maybe it's a song is very prevalent in your household
right now.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
My daughter likes, can't stop the feeling. I like it.
My son used to like it. My son now loves
and his karaoke song that he sings is Thunderstruck by
ac DC, which has a couple of risque lines in it.
I don't know how he heard it or where. But
he's very into it and he'll sing it on our
(08:09):
karaoke machine at home. He's TV wise, he's into it.
He watches everything. I mean, he watches all the superhero
stuff and stuff, but he's also likes this show called
The Thunderman's it's like a Disney Channel sitcom. And then
my daughter anything with princesses, right.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Okay, you know, isn't it. It's I mean I speak
very often that I try to not talk about things
in the gender divibe because I do think it's bullshit.
But the way you see stuff play out sometimes with
these kids, where it's like it's not even a marker,
it is the exact package of like, here is what
(08:50):
a girl is into princess I was into princesses.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
No, sure, yeah. And some of it's fine, and some
of it is like, you know, borderline sexual ass. I
mean it's like, you know, let's let's kiss somebody who's asleep,
and what happens.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I've never even looked at sleeping beauty from that point.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I mean, there's some there's some some rough stuff in there.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I mean I guess, uh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Let's break into a room and eat the food. Yeah,
isn't that romantic.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
So you're a New York City family, do you send
your kids to summer camp or like some sort of
nature based Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, we My son for the last couple of summers
has gone to on a bus to a day camp
that's about forty five minutes outside the city. He really
likes it. He did overnight camp for a week last
summer and he liked it. But he's not quite ready
for the full summer.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
But he did for a week. That's good to know
for a week.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
He's gonna this year, he's going back. They have to
be four weeks and he's not ready for it, so
he wants to. So he's gonna do day camp for
the summer. My daughter's just gonna go to day camp
in the city. This church where they just you know,
basically let them run around and hose them off and sprinklers.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And perfect yeah activities, sprinklers and snacks.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah. And we go to the beach as a family.
But we have a family a beach, you know the
house that we go to, which is nice.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Oh awesome. Okay, see you're all set. So let's just
say you booked a babysitter for tonight, okay, and uh,
then your wife made last minute plans with friends and
you have a night off Yeah, from the family, but
(10:37):
you didn't book work. Yeah, what are you going to
do with it?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
I would go watch stand up? Isn't that sick?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You would go to a club and watch it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Isn't that sick? Yeah? Yeah, I would go. I mean
I noticed this where I did Scotland. I did festival
in August and I was and so I was there
by myself for two weeks. If you're I was there,
I actually was there in nineteen days. The first four
my wife came, which was without kids, which was the
longest we've been together without kids since my nine year
(11:10):
old was born, which was lovely.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And then for two weeks I stayed by myself, which
was by far the longest I've been away from my family.
And I ended up going to like three four I
mean there were so many shows because it's a festival.
I ended up going to like three four things a day,
just you know, supporting friends and seeing things and so
and I and and coming back from that, I really
did kind of make more of an effort of like, oh,
(11:35):
my friend is like doing an hour of stand up
in New York City. Like, if I'm free, I should
go to that. You know, I make more of an
effort to like write things down or keep track of them.
All that said, if there was if there was a
casino in New York City, we'd be in real trouble. Okay,
because I.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Uh, you've got a gambling problem.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah. Yeah, that's my advice. So I mean, like, if
you give me, like if you said you could go
to anywhere in the world without your kids for forty
eight hours, assuming my wife's out there, I would choose
like Vegas or something. Example.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, Matt, what advice? You've got two kids? This seems
like you're thriving. They're thriving. You may paint a picture
of being even keeled that you're not, but to me,
that's what that's what it feels like. So do you
have advice? Can you give advice to new parents?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I do? I'm have Okay, I'm gonna throw you a curveball.
I have practical advice for new parents.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I love like Lottie do like advice. You talks practical advice. Okay,
this is for people out there. Anyone's listening who is
pregnant or has a newborn. When you have a baby,
that is the time to travel. People don't realize this,
So you want to travel with It's much easier to
travel with a baby than it is with like a
one year old or a two year old, where you're
(12:56):
walking them down the aisle of the plane, you know,
every two seconds. So you're gonna fly somewhere. Go find
a city. When my son was six months old, we
went to Stockholm, Sweden. I you know, we didn't know
anything about it. There was nothing where. We were like, oh,
we got to see this museum, we gotta see this, this,
this is this. Just go walk around another city for
a few days, go eat, you know, enjoy the time.
(13:18):
You can take a new born anywhere. This is the
other thing. It's much easier with a new baby to
go east than it is to go west. Right, you
go to la with a baby, they're gonna wake up
at three point thirty in the morning and every morning,
and you're gonna be miserable. If you go to Europe,
(13:38):
everybody sleeps till nine or ten in the morning. It's
very civilized. You take the baby out to dinner with you,
they don't care. Yeah, they're Europeans. It's the baby, you know,
and then you all go to bed at midnight.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, coming back is going to be hell. So maybe
just go for four days, right, so you just keep
all of it like a little chaotic.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, it's great. So that's that's my advice.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's great advice.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah, you don't want the Duna, the Duna. I'm not,
I'm not. I'm not sponsored by Duna, but the Dona Duna,
the Duna is it's the best car seat and stroller combination.
It's the stroll, it's this car seat that pops off.
I feel like I should be sponsored by douna yeah,
but I'm not. But the the Duna is the car
seat that pops right off the stroller and right into
(14:19):
the car. We didn't have it for the first We
had it the second much easier.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
You were like, what, Yeah, I know there's people talk
about all the time that they're just like the stuff
I got for my second kid would have changed our
lives for the first kid.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I went a little too practical with that last bit
of advice.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
No, I love it. No, but that is that's the advice.
You need to get something that where you're not switching
the kid from the car to another thing when you
get into the stroller. Just have it click in.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
It's great because.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Otherwise you're traveling around with especially traveling two chairs. Two things.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No, no, yeah, and don't have twins. I mean, come on,
why would you do that?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
What if it's not what if you can't help it? Rolls?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
His eyes come on halfway through? Okay, okay, no, I know.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Allowed half way through.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That's not how it works.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
That's perfect. No, that is how it works. Just so
you know, everybody, that is exactly how it works. Oh
my goodness, thank you so much, mad very funny, everybody.
That's that's where I want it ended up. It's perfect.
I always like ending with as you should on air
every parenting show. A drop of jizz on.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Sheet, just a drop, just to drop. It's been my
pleasure to thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Check out his new special No Questions Asked. You can
watch on YouTube if you like listening to it as
an album, which I do. I'm still kind of old
school that way. I love a comedy album.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No, that's great, me too.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah. You can also just buy it on iTunes and
all the places and listen
Speaker 2 (15:54):
To it there yes, Thank you so much, Thanks Matt,
Hello, listeners, We're back with a rapid fire chat with
a very funny comic. He is a longtime writer for
Late Night with Seth Myers. He's been nominated for five
Emmy Awards for his work on the show, and he's
also performed stand up on Late Night and on The
Late Late Show. And he just released brand new product,
(00:24):
brand new comedy album and special out there right now
called No Questions Asked, Very funny. Check it out. Mecolditch.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hello, thank you Ofira. Hello, so happy to be here.
I can't tell you how relieved I am. My daughter
woke up with a bit of a cough no this morning,
and I was worried that she was gonna have to
stay home from school and I was going to take
care of her. And I was like, no, I have
to exploit you for this parenting podcast. I cannot miss this.
And thankfully we got her, We got her in shape,
(00:57):
good enough to go, no other symptoms. I don't want
to hear any complaints for the other parents, So.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I mean, a cough, come on, that's like nothing. Yeah, okay,
what are the ages of your kids?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Mine are? I believe our sons are around the same age.
My son just turned nine and my daughter is four.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Okay, what do they have in common? Your kids? How
do you do?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You go?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Like a clearly siblings.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Not very much torturing each other. They like to torture
each other. They like to you know, the only time
they'll ever get together, because they're very far apart in
age and interests, is if it's something that's really like
they will agree to. Just just tear apart the couch cushions,
like right when I want to sit down, just like
take all the cushions off the couch and take it,
(01:40):
turn it into a playground. If anything that it means
is me, they will agree on. But anything that anything, No,
they'll never never agree on anything that I want them
to do.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So you don't drop them both off at gymnastics or
both off at.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I don't know, you know what's so funny our kid.
I don't know why this happened, but our kids fell
so into gender roles, and I don't I didn't do
anything to I was I was always like, you guys
can do whatever you want. I have no And for
some reason he does baseball and she does gymnastics, and
you know, I mean there's certain obviously there are a
lot of movies and TV shows that they'll both be into.
(02:20):
But man, no, I don't drop them off. Thankfully, next year,
I think they are going to finally, finally go to
the same school, and so we'll drop them off of
the bus in the morning and they'll go off to
the same school, and then we'll be that will make.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
My dreams come true, your dreams come true? Did you
always want children?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Always? I never, It never occurred to me not to Yes,
I think, I you know, well, you know, my parents
were parents, and uh no, that's obvious.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But uh no, I drew up in a world of
people having children.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, I didn't have the anxiety about, oh is it
really uh a good idea to bring children into this
world until I already had them, I think.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Right, I feel like that's very common, I mean, too.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Late at that point. Yeah, No, I always wanted kids.
I always knew i'd be a dad, and I came
from I mean, we had our issues, but it was
a stable family where you know, the my parents have
been married for a long time, and the core group
of the me, my parents, and my brothers and I
we all get along relatively well. And so I think
(03:25):
I wanted to, you know, continue that.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We know each other from the stand up world, and
then you're a comedy writer for a very long time.
Now you still do stand up, so would you you
know on those days where you're working the day and
then you got a spot at night, which I feel
like you do that.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, a couple of times a week. Yeah, it's hard
to do all three. Well, right, it's hard to be
a good husband and parent, have a full time job,
and be a good stand up And that's why I
choose to be a b B minus parent and stand up.
Those are sort of the you know, and then I'll
do I do a good job at work. Yeah, so
(04:04):
I mean, but you know, it is it is a
balancing act. It helps to have a wife who's very understanding,
and I'm very understanding of her. You know, she works
full time and she I will often pick up the
slack when she's busier, and but it is challenging. And
but the thing that I realized which is helpful, is
(04:28):
it is less exhausting to go out and do stand
up than it is to stay home and do bedtime.
So you think you're not going to have energy at
the end of the day of a full day working
to go do a show. But compared to trying to
wrangle two monsters into bed, I mean, it's it's much easier.
(04:48):
It's it takes, it requires less of you, so stand
up and work. Also for me, I consider, I mean,
we're lucky, right. Our jobs are making jokes, they're writing jokes.
It's fun stuff, and so it's a vacation. It's it's
it's it's a joy to do. And I don't feel
like it's hard, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It's it's sometimes I do so much the work at
night that I get really overloaded and I go, oh
my god, I just want three nights off. I got
to recharge, and then that will happen. And by the
third night, I'm like, how do I get out of here?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Like I cannot find that gentle balance.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, and once you have your kids are school age,
I mean hypothetically, you know, even if your your days
should be you know, I mean, I guess some people
have a stressful day job, but mine tends to be
you know, pretty pretty fun, and so I don't so
the days are enjoyable.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
What is the last thing you said no to uh
to your kids?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
About the last thing I said no to my kids. Okay,
So my son has has gotten it very into the
the New York Times games.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Oh yeah, word'll we'll.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Do the world altogether. We'll do the ones and then
you know, some of them are not his brain or
like tiles. I mean, Tiles is good, you're matching things.
But this morning he was like, can I do you know?
There's one on our phone. It's basically just drawing, and
I was like, no, you cannot do that on my phone.
At seventeen in the morning before school, I was like,
you know, if you want to do the world with me, fine,
(06:22):
you know, we'll use our brains a little bit. But
you know it's how they suck you in. Oh yeah,
with the smart ones. And then the next thing, you know,
you know your parents are you know your kids are
on the New York Times app basically just you know,
turning their brains into mush.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's right. Turn Oh okay, I can't wait for my
follow up. Okay, So that's that's one one child. Have
you said? Did you say know about something else to
your daughter? No?
Speaker 2 (06:45):
In fact, this morning she actually because she was coughing,
she had to she did the nebulizer before school and
so she actually got to watch some of Frozen two
before school, which is very unusual that she would get
to watch a movie before school. But because she had
(07:07):
to sit still and do that, it's the only way
to get her to sit still and do the nebulizer,
that was what she got.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And you know, you're setting yourself up to her going
can I watch a movie before school? And you're like no,
And she's gonna be like remember that time that will
be lodged in her brain and she's going.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'm sick. I'm sick. I need my movie before school.
You know. No, they're they're yeah, so very smart, but
also you know not that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Oh yeah right, No, they're manipulative, but not they're not strategizing.
That's what I say. It's like, your strategy is off,
your manipulation is very high. So what TV show or
maybe it's a song is very prevalent in your household
right now.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
My daughter likes, can't stop the feeling. I like it.
My son used to like it. My son now loves
and his karaoke song that he sings is Thunderstruck by
ac DC, which has a couple of risque lines in it.
I don't know how he heard it or where. But
he's very into it and he'll sing it on our
(08:09):
karaoke machine at home. He's TV wise, he's into it.
He watches everything. I mean, he watches all the superhero
stuff and stuff, but he's also likes this show called
The Thunderman's it's like a Disney Channel sitcom. And then
my daughter anything with princesses, right.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Okay, you know, isn't it. It's I mean I speak
very often that I try to not talk about things
in the gender divibe because I do think it's bullshit.
But the way you see stuff play out sometimes with
these kids, where it's like it's not even a marker,
it is the exact package of like, here is what
(08:50):
a girl is into princess I was into princesses.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
No, sure, yeah. And some of it's fine, and some
of it is like, you know, borderline sexual ass. I
mean it's like, you know, let's let's kiss somebody who's asleep,
and what happens.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I've never even looked at sleeping beauty from that point.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
I mean, there's some there's some some rough stuff in there.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I mean I guess, uh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Let's break into a room and eat the food. Yeah,
isn't that romantic.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
So you're a New York City family, do you send
your kids to summer camp or like some sort of
nature based Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, we My son for the last couple of summers
has gone to on a bus to a day camp
that's about forty five minutes outside the city. He really
likes it. He did overnight camp for a week last
summer and he liked it. But he's not quite ready
for the full summer.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
But he did for a week. That's good to know
for a week.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
He's gonna this year, he's going back. They have to
be four weeks and he's not ready for it, so
he wants to. So he's gonna do day camp for
the summer. My daughter's just gonna go to day camp
in the city. This church where they just you know,
basically let them run around and hose them off and sprinklers.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And perfect yeah activities, sprinklers and snacks.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah. And we go to the beach as a family.
But we have a family a beach, you know the
house that we go to, which is nice.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Oh awesome. Okay, see you're all set. So let's just
say you booked a babysitter for tonight, okay, and uh,
then your wife made last minute plans with friends and
you have a night off Yeah, from the family, but
(10:37):
you didn't book work. Yeah, what are you going to
do with it?
Speaker 2 (10:42):
I would go watch stand up? Isn't that sick?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You would go to a club and watch it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Isn't that sick? Yeah? Yeah, I would go. I mean
I noticed this where I did Scotland. I did festival
in August and I was and so I was there
by myself for two weeks. If you're I was there,
I actually was there in nineteen days. The first four
my wife came, which was without kids, which was the
longest we've been together without kids since my nine year
(11:10):
old was born, which was lovely.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And then for two weeks I stayed by myself, which
was by far the longest I've been away from my family.
And I ended up going to like three four I
mean there were so many shows because it's a festival.
I ended up going to like three four things a day,
just you know, supporting friends and seeing things and so
and I and and coming back from that, I really
did kind of make more of an effort of like, oh,
(11:35):
my friend is like doing an hour of stand up
in New York City. Like, if I'm free, I should
go to that. You know, I make more of an
effort to like write things down or keep track of them.
All that said, if there was if there was a
casino in New York City, we'd be in real trouble. Okay,
because I.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Uh, you've got a gambling problem.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yeah. Yeah, that's my advice. So I mean, like, if
you give me, like if you said you could go
to anywhere in the world without your kids for forty
eight hours, assuming my wife's out there, I would choose
like Vegas or something. Example.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, Matt, what advice? You've got two kids? This seems
like you're thriving. They're thriving. You may paint a picture
of being even keeled that you're not, but to me,
that's what that's what it feels like. So do you
have advice? Can you give advice to new parents?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I do? I'm have Okay, I'm gonna throw you a curveball.
I have practical advice for new parents.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I love like Lottie do like advice. You talks practical advice. Okay,
this is for people out there. Anyone's listening who is
pregnant or has a newborn. When you have a baby,
that is the time to travel. People don't realize this,
So you want to travel with It's much easier to
travel with a baby than it is with like a
one year old or a two year old, where you're
(12:56):
walking them down the aisle of the plane, you know,
every two seconds. So you're gonna fly somewhere. Go find
a city. When my son was six months old, we
went to Stockholm, Sweden. I you know, we didn't know
anything about it. There was nothing where. We were like, oh,
we got to see this museum, we gotta see this, this,
this is this. Just go walk around another city for
a few days, go eat, you know, enjoy the time.
(13:18):
You can take a new born anywhere. This is the
other thing. It's much easier with a new baby to
go east than it is to go west. Right, you
go to la with a baby, they're gonna wake up
at three point thirty in the morning and every morning,
and you're gonna be miserable. If you go to Europe,
(13:38):
everybody sleeps till nine or ten in the morning. It's
very civilized. You take the baby out to dinner with you,
they don't care. Yeah, they're Europeans. It's the baby, you know,
and then you all go to bed at midnight.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, coming back is going to be hell. So maybe
just go for four days, right, so you just keep
all of it like a little chaotic.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah, it's great. So that's that's my advice.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's great advice.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Yeah, you don't want the Duna, the Duna. I'm not,
I'm not. I'm not sponsored by Duna, but the Dona Duna,
the Duna is it's the best car seat and stroller combination.
It's the stroll, it's this car seat that pops off.
I feel like I should be sponsored by douna yeah,
but I'm not. But the the Duna is the car
seat that pops right off the stroller and right into
(14:19):
the car. We didn't have it for the first We
had it the second much easier.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
You were like, what, Yeah, I know there's people talk
about all the time that they're just like the stuff
I got for my second kid would have changed our
lives for the first kid.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I went a little too practical with that last bit
of advice.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
No, I love it. No, but that is that's the advice.
You need to get something that where you're not switching
the kid from the car to another thing when you
get into the stroller. Just have it click in.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
It's great because.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Otherwise you're traveling around with especially traveling two chairs. Two things.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
No, no, yeah, and don't have twins. I mean, come on,
why would you do that?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
What if it's not what if you can't help it? Rolls?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
His eyes come on halfway through? Okay, okay, no, I know.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Allowed half way through.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That's not how it works.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
That's perfect. No, that is how it works. Just so
you know, everybody, that is exactly how it works. Oh
my goodness, thank you so much, mad very funny, everybody.
That's that's where I want it ended up. It's perfect.
I always like ending with as you should on air
every parenting show. A drop of jizz on.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Sheet, just a drop, just to drop. It's been my
pleasure to thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Check out his new special No Questions Asked. You can
watch on YouTube if you like listening to it as
an album, which I do. I'm still kind of old
school that way. I love a comedy album.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
No, that's great, me too.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah. You can also just buy it on iTunes and
all the places and listen
Speaker 2 (15:54):
To it there yes, Thank you so much, Thanks Matt,
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