April 23, 2024 • 35 mins
Spring is hopping and this week marks the last of our team's school vacations so we are bringing back a favorite interview while we catch up. Ophira chats with the hilarious comedian and actress Kristen Schaal about how parenting is so many wonderful things, but it is NOT funny!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, listeners, This is parenting is a joke. I'm an
eye twitch named Ofira Eisenberg. Have you had an eye
twitch before? Oh? My god? What help me? So we're
almost done with April. It has been a juggle, Oh
my goodness for me and for our team because we
(00:21):
all have completely different April school vacations. But we've almost
made it. We've almost made it, Oh my goodness. So
this is my week to take a week off with
my son on school vacation. How many snacks will we eat?
So we're in a big snack moment right now because
(00:42):
my kid is just hungry all the time. He comes
home from school, he wants a snack, and if he
has activity, he wants another snack before going to the activity.
But then he wants another snack before dinner. And my husband,
who primarily makes the dinners, doesn't like it when he
eats a snack before dinner because then he doesn't eat
his dinner. But he usually eats his dinner more less anyhow,
just slower, So there was a no snack rule before dinner,
(01:04):
but then he would just be freaking out. And I
was talking to Julie, the producer of this podcast, about
this snack argument we're having in our house. Snack argument
just sounds different, so dumb when I say it, And
she said, no, like really, just you got to pick
your battles. Let him have the snacks. And so I
(01:25):
said to my husband, we're doing it. We're just saying
yes to all snacks all the time because you know what,
our kid, you know, he eats pretty well. He's not just
one of these like butter noodle kids. Hell, eat carrots
and vegetables and a bazillion pirate's booty in between. You
know what I'm talking about that puff. So now it's
(01:46):
snacks all the time. We're allowing snacks all the time
with the meals. And let me tell you, it is food.
It is food all the time. This kid is just
the vacuum cleaner. We can't even keep up, like basically
going to the grocery store every two days and reloading
on like apples, pretzels, popcorn, grapes. What else are we
(02:10):
going through? Freeze dried apricots or whatever that is? You know,
raisins just ongoing from two to bedtime. This kid just
eats snacks.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
And you know what, I'll tell you something when I
get home from a gig at ten PM, I open
up a little snack myself. I'm like, there's pretzels in
little tiny bags. I'm excited. So with this in mind,
we thought, you know what, let's revisit someone else I
talked to about snacks, comedian and actress Kristinshall. So here's
(02:49):
a wonderful interview with Kristinshall and we'll be back next week. Everybody,
I'm so excited for my guest. We knew each other
bit in New York. She now lives in Los Angeles.
You know her as the voice of Louise Belcher on
Bob's Burger's. She also played mel on Flight of the Concords,
and you get to see her later in the summer
(03:11):
in the new season of What We Do in the Shadows.
It's Kristin Shawl.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Hi Hi Opier. You nail that intro.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Just to start, Kristin, what is the name and age
of your child?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Ruby?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And she's five five, okay, graduating preschool in a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Oh yay. Yeah, and they're gonna give her a little
cap I don't.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Think so it's a Jewish preschool. I think they're gonna
do Shabbat or something.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Oh, that's nice. It's gonna be like a little button
mitzvah primer. Yeah, what's she into these days?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
She has a stuffy named Brian, who's a cat who's
like her best friend. She's an only child. I call
Brian my other child, and Brian's a girl cat. Brian
goes everywhere with us, everywhere and is very important. Like
it's hard to give Brian a bath because that means
they're separated while Brian dries. And she's really just into
(04:13):
her imagination, like like she has a lot of toys
because I spoil her, probably to a damaging place, and
she just wants to pretend to be like an animal.
The story she's into now is that she's like a
leopard named night Scream who has been adopted by a
(04:34):
villain named Evil Animal Trainer who wants her to defeat
Spider Man.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It's a lot of different genres involved in this. Yeah,
and Spider man's a bad guy.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well, Spider Man's a good guy.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So she's kind of torn as this animal where she's
being trained by an evil animal trainer that's Baxtra and
it's very important to her.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Okay, so it's a little Star Wars, a little bit
of the Dark Force. Yeah, and so when you hear
all this stuff, are you just are do you kind
of revelent? Are you like my creative child?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
This is amazing of course, Like that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I'm like, Yay, she's like really deep into our imagination.
Like because we traveled a lot during COVID, because I
had all these I had some jobs in Canada, so
she really was kind of like she didn't have a
lot of toys, so it was just like she just
sort of had or friends or anything. So it's up
to her to create her fun. But I always kind
(05:35):
of get left out of the storyline. Like just recently,
I was animal Trainer's wife because my husband's animal trainer,
and that was like she didn't have a lot going
on for her. And she's really like if I pitched,
it kind of has to come from her head. So
if I try to, she's really about okay.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, yes, ending in your house at all.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Whenever I'm assigned.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I just got assigned to be evil animal Trainer's sister, Jacquaranda,
and she has an evil jaguire named Alba, and so
that finally felt like something for me to do to
participate a So I was excited, but most of the
time I'm tired and I'm an old mom and I
feel like I pretend for a living girl, you know,
(06:24):
like I'm done tonight.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Go write it down. Go write it down. So you're
in La right now. But you grew up in Colorado.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Bigtown, little town, little town, little town. Yeah, like so
little that I say, it's it's by Boulder.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
What was the place you grew up?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Like a long want was just a suburb. It was
pretty boring. It's better now, you know. Colorado and Jeneral
was also like kind of going through its teenage years
when I was growing up, and now they're like kind
of got their own personality.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I mean they were like we like pot hey, everybody, right,
where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Calgary, Alberta your lady? Yeah, you know, people were always
like Alberta's the Texas of Canada because it's an oil
based industry and there's like kind of that redneck culture
because there's a lot of logging and those kind of industries.
But Denver, because there's also skiing, and Denver has all
of that in skiing, and so we always kind of
were like, no, we're like Denver.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Oh you poor things.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, everyone, I've heard a lot in Toronto and a
little bit in Vancouver.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
But I'm sorry, but Alberta is very like shot.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Upon, despised, despised. But I mean, I will say, as
a child, I mean it was a pretty nice place
to grow up. Felt, you know, very just calm and
safe and pretty outdoor space and never never really thought
twice except for I didn't know. I personally didn't know
a lot of Jews, so I felt very different.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I also never knew a Jewish person growing up until
I moved to Chicago.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Really in elementary s? Thing, did you describe what it
was to be Jewish to your friends? When they were like,
what are you?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I was half German, like Lutheran.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Oh, my kids got preschool because it's like one of
the best preschools, and oh that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I thought I was.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I put it all together in a different way. I
didn't know.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
The magazine interviewed me once just thinking I might be Jewish.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
There's like fingers crossed, fingers crossed.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
The record scratched when I said something about Christmas and
they were wait what, And I was like, wait, why
what I did order the ancestry DNA test though, because
my mom's side of the family is still a little
bit like blurry.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Haven't done it yet. It's in my drawer.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I will do it because I really kind of am
holding out hope. But I was raised super Christian. Watched
him die on the cross on Good Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Right, so the full Star wars myth.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yes, And I was so nervous when I told my
dad they're so religious that I was, you know, I'm like,
guess what, you know, Ruby's going to to this amazing
Jewish preschool. And it was lovely because they were actually
really excited about it because you know, it's still the
Old Testament.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, still still the same book series. Yeah, just the
first one issue.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
And they're like great, and we love Moses and we
love Jewish songs and they are really nice songs.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So that's great.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, yeah, Old Testament exactly. My name is from like
page five. I'm not even kidding you. Next time you
open up an Old Testament, everybody look through those baget bigots.
You'll get to me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
You're the only other Old Fear I know besides page five.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Did you always want to have kids. I know you
have one kid, but have a child in your life.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I you know, that was sort of the thing where
I was like to have it all.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You have a kid, kids.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You know that that was the goal, And it was
always something that I wasn't gonna let go. I knew
I always wanted a husband more than I thought I
wanted a kid.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I was like, I gotta get that husband.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Just fished, and then I that was very important to
me when we were trying. It was a whole disaster
over and over again. And then we did IVF but
it was like Indiana Jones grabbing the hat before the
wall comes down, like we got it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
So I've heard you talk about having an ectopic pregnancy,
which I think many listeners know but if you don't,
That is when a fertilized EG girls outside of the universe.
Usually it's in the floapian tubes, which can be very dangerous.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh it was. I had one miss just like regular
old miss Karen with the DNC.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Me too, and then back out in the world. See
you later, sister.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, back to the party.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
And then I had this topic and it was misdiagnosed
by a guynecologist who was not paying attention. She even
did like a ultra stop. She's like, oh, it looks
like you're ovulating again. Well, that was the the egg
embryo growing, and so it was bad, and I I
was probably three.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Months or more and a burst when I was recording
gravity falls.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
It's the weirdest thing ever because I was like saying,
like a mable line and then I was like, I remember, Alex.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Like you like taking that again.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I was like, yes, right, that was bad.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
And I didn't know what was going on, and I
just knew I needed to lay down on the floor
and then like ended up in the er and I
still didn't know why. But I was there for long
enough that I almost died because they were taking all
these other patients first, and I internally bled like two
leaders holy.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And then I lived.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And then I went back to work like four days oline,
and no one told anybody what was going on because
it was a you know, my personal female miscarria, right,
So like if I had my appendix out, everyone would
know and they'd be careful and they'd understand why I
was pale.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
But now everyone didn't know, and I.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Was just like, oh, don't put my mic back there,
like it was so dumb anyways, and I was fine, just.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I mean, what just with women's help. It's like anything
uterus vagina, It's like, well, this needs to be shrouded
in secrecy. Let's just watch this woman in pain and
maybe we can just decide that she's in pain because
you know, it's menstrual cramps or something like that, which
we also don't want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I was like, I wish you guys would have made
an announcement. It's not a big deal. It's actually this
thing that was huge. We all know about it. And
then after that, I was like, we tried for a while.
I was like, listen, I went tube left. I want
to get it in the right place if this happened.
So we did IVF, got one embryo form round and
got Ruby, and then I was still in love with Ruby.
(13:04):
I was like, oh, let's do it again. And then
I had a topic on the other side. Okay, but
they caught it early because I had a new gynecologist,
thank god, and they were like, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I hope. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I was so mad at her and this guy to
called it. She was like, caught it right away.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
And was like, okay, so I took these It's like
a low key chemo drug that like basically kills it
in the tube. I wish it had just gotten my
two removed because it was really weird. And I had
to go back and do Bill and Ted and I
had to go on my lunch breaks find a quest
Diagnostics in New Orleans to make sure that the baby
(13:44):
was dying, like like you have to make sure your
pregnancy hormone levels are going lower and lower.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I went through that because I had a I had
a partial molar pregnancy, so it's the same thing. So
you have to get blood tests every week to look
at your hormone levels. And just to pause, I don't
know how you were mentally, but I was never more
out of my brain disregulated.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Let's say, let's say it's so sad. I was playing
a person from the future, so I had like silver,
silver makeup, weird hair, and I I was like all
my lunch was like acippe, like I just need to
go get a quick blood test.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
And I remember, like the woman in the quest, I
was like in a bad mood.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
They're all in a bad mood.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I know, dude, it was so sad and it was
like and also I didn't tell anybody on that one
either because it was so new and I didn't know
anyone that well that was gross. And after that I
gave up and I was like, we're just having one
and and what what what a price?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Uh? You know, just apropos I relate to so much
of this through my own you know, health, different health things.
And also I didn't tell anyone, And I don't know
how you feel about that in hindsight.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Yeah, there is a bit of a blankness to people too,
because it is like.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
That's the problem.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
First of all, you don't know how long you're going
to be sitting with the feelings, so you're like, well,
if I'm gonna be over this in like a week
or a few weeks, maybe I just like deal with
it on my own and not like bring it up right.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You know, like like can I just be normal?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Because life is so a normal on the outside, I
don't know, it's weird. And then when you do bring
it up to certain people, their reactions you get are varied.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And nothing is worse to me than when you feel
like you have to take care of them.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Oh right, actually, yeah, which is what women do.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
That's what women do. Yeah, note to everyone, I also
had an OBGI and that misdiagnosed me. And I remember
when I got the right diagnosis, and this was with cancer.
So when I got the right diagnosis, I yelled at her.
I mean, I called and waga can plan. And I'll
tell you what she did. She gave me back my.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Cope twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, I got twenty five bucks back. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
That is good for you. I'm glad. Did you feel
like they were lease at least? Did you feel good?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I felt I felt complete closure with that twenty five bucks.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I did like a yelp, like a negative yell everything
that happened. Here's when I called her in the er.
She didn't even answer just now.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But also, that sucks about your doctor, dude, you could
have died.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Sounds like you could have died too, So a lot
a lot of us out there could have died. And
I just want to say, if you have any kind
of healthcare professional in your life and you don't like them,
go to another one, especially in OBGYN, go to a
different one. If you were like, I don't know that
person's weird, leave.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Leave leave because your lady parts inside there they're ready
to go off of any tiny guy like they are.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
They will kill you. They will reach up and kill
you their anger minor.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
They will reach out through your Tourso and.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
You gotta get an animal trainer on those days.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Ah, my goodness. So. And also you were just saying that,
you know, during the pandemic, you were traveling with your daughter.
You were recently in South Africa.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
We went there for a month to film My Spy Too.
They made a sequel because it was released during the
pandemic and it was a family movie.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I watched it and we really lucked out.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
And the movie takes place in Italy, but they shot
all my scenes in South Africa.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
I was so nervous to take Ruby down there, but
I didn't want to be separated from her that far away.
I actually had so much anxiety about that job because
of her, and like figuring out how to kind of
accommodate everybody was trying to everybody happy, her, my husband.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
And I and you're the one that's working, yes.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And I learned a big lesson from all of it,
which is, well, you can't make everybody happy. And try,
you know, and if I'm lucky enough to get to
work out of the country again next time, I think
we're going to proceed where if I take the job,
then I will be going by myself and that's.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
They'll visit or what. Who knows, there's always a different story.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I might not ever work again, is the other wonderful
thing about being an actor.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
It's like, well, that might be the last job.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
So how long were you there?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Oh, just a month? That's a long time.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
The rest of the movie people were there like two months.
So it was like I fought for like less time
because it was a long time still, but like she
got to see lots of animal and like they definitely
put us up in the touristy bubble by the water,
so like how like are we really experiencing I don't know,
(19:09):
but it was still like never in my wildest dreams
would I have imagined that I would have this opportunity.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So you bring the whole family down and then what
are they doing during the day? Are you going like,
all right, you guys are doing this like tourist fun
thing or I don't know, I found a meetup for
other kids. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
That's the other thing.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
In this business, hardly any other people with little kids,
so that was a bummer.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
They're all that's why too, when I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
To relate, like to majority men working on them, like
they're very sweet and kind, but they're also like, yeah,
I directed movies for four months with them, my wife
took care of the kids, and the yeah, you know,
like I get it, and that's a huge sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I can't believe you had to do that. I'm just
feeling a little.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Different, But I am the only whoa going do these
sets of feelings.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I'm going to go straight out and just say I
hear you, because I feel, even though there are more
and more women around me in stand up, it still
feels rare. It still feels like everyone has like a
really interesting situation that they've cobbled together and it's stressful,
and I do feel for years before I had a child,
(20:23):
I would be drinking after my shows at a bar
till three am with some guys who are definitely dads.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I would be working with men multiple times who would
be in a scene telling me that their wife just
went into labor, and then they would be back like
a day later after like to have a day with
their newborn back to finish the episode. It's just the
way it is, is just the way it is. Anyways,
(20:52):
it's been okay, what do I say? I'd try to
give a prescription will go through.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
For some like head meds.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Does your daughter think you're funny? Like? Is she aware
of your work? I mean, obviously you're out there filming,
so I'm sure she had a somewhat like little kid
sense of cameras and film and scenes and magic.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Definitely, she is becoming more and more aware, especially because
her life is being like dictated by my jobs a
little bit, dude the last two years. She says she
wants to be an actress singer mom when she grows up.
WI yeah, Like I feel like I can't be like
(21:40):
my most fun self because I'm trying to get her
to brush her teeth and put on her shoes and
like and like, no, you can't have another snack. That's
the rule at nighttime. Don't you do this. You're not hungry,
you just.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Which just brushed your teeth exactly exactly. That was me
last night.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I always like, hold, I do a last call snack,
and it works. It always works like last call snack.
It only works as if if it's real last call snack.
So like last night, she really was about to fall
asleep and then all of a sudden she fought it
off as like I'm a starving you know. And then
that was like a tough night because I was like,
(22:22):
I'm sorry that you're hungry. She's like, I didn't like
my last call snack. I was like, I know, I'm
still sorry. We'll have to work on that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
You know. It's like if you don't hold the line.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Nope, it's over. Oh yeah, they smell that weakness. It's
just like a nine PM audience on a long weekend
throughout for weakness.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yes, and she's got big feelings, which I love because
when the love is big, it's big, and then when
the anger is big, it's big. And I am like,
I realized it just yesterday. I was like, my whole
career has been being in the moment and react like
that's how I do. My best work is just being
(23:02):
able to react. And so to be a good mom,
I have to fight that and not react. Yeah, I
have to bolvingly detach, my therapist said, which is like,
oh my god. So she's getting big, I am like
getting big and I'm trying to not match it. But
I'm shaking and I'm shaking inside and I'm such a
(23:27):
bad mom, that's all. I'm such a bad mom, Like
I can't nail this. So that's what I'm working on,
is how to like not meet her big emotions and
just step back.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But they affect me.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
My parents didn't have this kind of line of thinking
or with child rearing at all. If I had a
big emotion, I'm pretty sure I was met with a
big emotion back in my house growing up, because that
was the way it was.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
You were in a loud big emotions. You were told to,
you know, go to your room or me. We even
spain whatever it took, shut it down, shut it, and
that was and hide it. Which being this new mom,
in this new line of thinking, and all the love
to my mom and dad, because I feel like they
did miles and miles like better than what their parents had.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Like she definitely took what they had given and did
way better. But I will say I do notice that,
like big emotions.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Around my parents are there's a little bit of embarrassment
there because I'm like, oh, we don't do that. I
think my mom would love it if I bawled in front,
like now, you know, sure, But I just need to
remember that when we're going through this is that she's
not gonna feel any embarrassment around me about being vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
There's no shame.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Shame has been removed. We are shameless.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
We are shameless. We're not into shame, which I don't know.
On one level too, I'm like, is this kid creeped
out by the fact that they're losing their mind? And
I'm just staring at them, going like, I see that
you're feeling large feelings, Like it's creepy.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, it's creamy because you're not yourself, Like you're not again,
I'm not reacting like I would if I've had a
couple of drinks. And he's like, rob, no, no, I know.
It's like, yeah, man, that's what you're feeling. There's no
consequences either. That's what I'm really struggling with.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
And I think the.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Consequences will come when her wife becomes a little more
in the world, like you know, oh, I'm always.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Like you're gonna be.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah, I'm gonna late for preschool, like late for the
playto yes, and teacher Elizabeth pointing to be very upset.
And then we got there and everybody was late. I
was like, excuse me, Teacher Lives, I need I'm sorry,
but I need Ruby to apologize.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
To you for being lait. And she was like, oh, really,
I respect that.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was like, yeah, Ruby, that you're late. You know
it was it was like, oh, there's your good job
trying to do a consequence that had no effect. All
it did is everybody embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And Ruby is like, well, I've got this one figured out. Garbage,
don't need to do. This is garbage. Did you do
any sleep training. There's like all these sort of like
different controversial, as it turns out, different methods people use.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Yes, you know, Instagram just fed me someone who was like,
this is what you do with your baby. You always
leave your baby on your chest at all times, never
put your baby down ever. And then they'll feel that'll
regulate their emotions and then they'll like it was such
a guilty thing about This is how you This is
how you do it right, and this is how you're
(26:45):
just this is love. This is what mom being a
mom is And I started to write, like this is
damaging to peeple yes.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I started to comment and.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Then I posted, and then I went back and I
deleted it because it's like not worth it, because if
I shame her and her what she feels is working,
It's like telling when my whole life to not wear
high heels. It's like they're gonna wear high heels and
no one cares what I think. Just let them do
(27:15):
what makes them feel good, even if it hurts them
so bad on their best nights.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I'm very much into like if you can. I was
someone who could not, so it's like, just do what's
right for you. I was like, I don't know, I
have no idea what's right for me? If you could
let me know that recruit, so I needed like I
needed a plan.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Basically, we never had a night nurse or anything that
we did the cry it out sing and it was fine.
I didn't care because I knew she had a whole
bottle of milk and her belly like I was breast beating,
and to make sure I gave her she was a
good eater, so I gave her like formula right before
bed too, so I could see it.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yep, it worked.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It worked for a while, but as soon as something works,
they change, you know, Like we had some good months,
but I remember have posting dinner parties after that, like, yeah,
come over, she's in bed by six thirty seven, we'll
have some dinner parties and play Catan.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Those days are done, we do yeah too.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I was like, just have beers in my place.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yeah, she's it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It's a great life. What was there a big complain.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
About cut to you know four? No, you know what.
You guys could come over, but you all.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Gotta leave by six because we're gonna become different people,
serious people. We're gonna play weird games. We're gonna have
a structured system. We're gonna be stressed out till about nine,
and if it goes longer than nine, oh, we're gonna
be beaten down and sad looking and.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
The rest of our week will be ruant.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
I don't know how to explain it to my friends,
Like I want them to come over, and but I
want them to leave. No, Like they'll always talk and
have fun and it'll be loud and really like there's
more party going on.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Right. So your husband's a writer and you wrote a
book with him back all the day. Have you ever
talked about writing a kid's book.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Oh god, no, I think it would be so negative.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I think.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Down emotionally and like there's nothing funny parenting is. There's
nothing funny to me about it, honestly, Like I am like,
like he's got his opinions about how to do it.
I got my opinion all wait and all the time
where it's like it's so serious.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I'm raising a human and I and I'm doing it wrong.
Like I don't feel like I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
There's rare. There's like some moments.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm like, oh, you nailed this, you know, But mostly
I'm like, do better next time, even with like I
you know what I should have been less, let done.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I'm sorry, Like I.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Do apologize her because I read yep, you do that,
and that's that's nice to have maybe when she's older,
but right now I'm like, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Would you I mean.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, no, no, no, all right to end us off,
just because we're talking about books, would you like to
play like just a fun ridiculous game. Yeah, okay, I'm
just gonna read you a title of a celebrities kid's book,
and you are just gonna tell me if it's a
real one that you can pick up tomorrow or fake.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Okay, so all that lie.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How about this Billy the Kid Makes It Big by
Dolly Parton. It's about a French bulldog that moves to
Nashville with the dreams of becoming a famous musician.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
That's a lie, that's not real. It is real.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Dolly Parton wrote that book. Yeah, it's based on her
real dog.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I feel like she would do a different dog, or
she would be or a golden retriever, not a.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Bold Dolly Parton has a lot of layers that we
don't understand. How about Switch out of Mind by Guns n' Roses.
It's a book about a girl who plays in nature
with her father.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Off no way first of all by the band Guns n' Roses,
Like the whole band wrote it, Like come, is it
AXL Rose?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Or is it the you know? Was it was the
guy with the hat? No fall?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
It's real?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Is it real? It's wand wrote it?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I guess. So it's attributed to the band. Do they
know their fans so well that they're like, this is
what we're selling at concerts? Now? Done? Are the bandanas
and the T shirts?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Guns n' roses Wilco. All the people going to those
shows are rolling in with children.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I went to uh I went to go see Janet
Jackson with some friends a few weeks ago. You know,
everyone's got their phone in the air to take videos
and pictures, and I can see all around me everyone's
home screen is them hugging their little kid. And I
was like, we're all the same.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, well you know who else everyone going to those
that Judy Blue movie, Like everyone in the lobby was
a forty year old female, mostly white, and it was
I mean some of us were like sitting there watching
her get her period while we were having hot flashes.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
The beginning in the end all at the same time,
Kristin Shall, you're the best. Thank you so much for
joining me after drop off. And you know a lot
of parents sewer comics come on and it's always after
drop off. That is like the only time we as
parents have were like, that's my hour.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Just for sanity. Because she's late. I like didn't care.
I was like, I'm not even gonna look at the
clock so I can be come crazy. I will just
watch you slowly eat that toast because it doesn't matter
what I say, I'm gonna sit there and finish that
toe and it is eight point fifty.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
That is your kid's book. Does not matter what I say.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
By Kristin Schall, She's like, stop telling me what to do.
I said, that's my job.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
I say that all the time. Lucas says, but why
is that your job? I go, that is a great question.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
I wish it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Thank you for this is great.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Thank you so much for listening. And you know what
we want to hear from you. Yes, give us something
that you are not looking forward to this summer not
looking forward to. There's got to be something. You could
leave us a voice memo by going to our website,
Parenting is a Joke pod dot com. There's instructions or
(33:53):
you know what. You can just email it to us,
send it to info at pretty good friends dot com.
We're going to feature it on our subsetz, which is
also at Parenting is a Joke on substack. Hey, speaking
of subscribing, subscribe to everything, subscribe to this podcast. Please
pass it along to a friend. Thank you so much
for your amazing reviews. I gotta tell you it means
(34:15):
so much to me. It's so nice to read them
because I feel more connected to you. Thank you, you know.
For updates, You can also follow us on Instagram, on TikTok,
on Facebook at Parenting is a Joke, or on Twitter
at Parenting Joke. Our episode is produced by me and
Julie Smith clem Our editor is Nina Porzuki. Our sound
(34:35):
designer is Tina Toby Mack. Our game writer is Emily Winter.
Our theme song and music is by a dear Amram
and the experience special thanks to all of the engineers
at Citybox. And I'll leave you with Kristenshall talking about
her favorite sandwich at wax Paper in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Yeah, well Fira, before I forget, I had this up
on my computer. Well you probably might know this.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Do you know that here in Los Angeles you are
named after a sandwich?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I did know that. Do you want me to read
the ingredients?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Okay you The Opira Eisenberg is ham, spicy honey walnut,
aliolely pickled black garlic, plum nigrette.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Oh yeah, sham green.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Onions and spicy roasted walnut crunch on a bubb and
Grandma's big at that's a that's a brand bubb and Gramma, Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Got it, that's you.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
So anything that involves the name Eisenberg. And then the
first ingredient is ham You're my favorite. You're my favorite.
And then just all different kinds of onions like garlic,
and then onions and then another onion.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I'll probably eat your sandwich today.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh I love that.
Hello, listeners, This is parenting is a joke. I'm an
eye twitch named Ofira Eisenberg. Have you had an eye
twitch before? Oh? My god? What help me? So we're
almost done with April. It has been a juggle, Oh
my goodness for me and for our team because we
(00:21):
all have completely different April school vacations. But we've almost
made it. We've almost made it, Oh my goodness. So
this is my week to take a week off with
my son on school vacation. How many snacks will we eat?
So we're in a big snack moment right now because
(00:42):
my kid is just hungry all the time. He comes
home from school, he wants a snack, and if he
has activity, he wants another snack before going to the activity.
But then he wants another snack before dinner. And my husband,
who primarily makes the dinners, doesn't like it when he
eats a snack before dinner because then he doesn't eat
his dinner. But he usually eats his dinner more less anyhow,
just slower, So there was a no snack rule before dinner,
(01:04):
but then he would just be freaking out. And I
was talking to Julie, the producer of this podcast, about
this snack argument we're having in our house. Snack argument
just sounds different, so dumb when I say it, And
she said, no, like really, just you got to pick
your battles. Let him have the snacks. And so I
(01:25):
said to my husband, we're doing it. We're just saying
yes to all snacks all the time because you know what,
our kid, you know, he eats pretty well. He's not just
one of these like butter noodle kids. Hell, eat carrots
and vegetables and a bazillion pirate's booty in between. You
know what I'm talking about that puff. So now it's
(01:46):
snacks all the time. We're allowing snacks all the time
with the meals. And let me tell you, it is food.
It is food all the time. This kid is just
the vacuum cleaner. We can't even keep up, like basically
going to the grocery store every two days and reloading
on like apples, pretzels, popcorn, grapes. What else are we
(02:10):
going through? Freeze dried apricots or whatever that is? You know,
raisins just ongoing from two to bedtime. This kid just
eats snacks.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
And you know what, I'll tell you something when I
get home from a gig at ten PM, I open
up a little snack myself. I'm like, there's pretzels in
little tiny bags. I'm excited. So with this in mind,
we thought, you know what, let's revisit someone else I
talked to about snacks, comedian and actress Kristinshall. So here's
(02:49):
a wonderful interview with Kristinshall and we'll be back next week. Everybody,
I'm so excited for my guest. We knew each other
bit in New York. She now lives in Los Angeles.
You know her as the voice of Louise Belcher on
Bob's Burger's. She also played mel on Flight of the Concords,
and you get to see her later in the summer
(03:11):
in the new season of What We Do in the Shadows.
It's Kristin Shawl.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Hi Hi Opier. You nail that intro.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Just to start, Kristin, what is the name and age
of your child?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Ruby?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And she's five five, okay, graduating preschool in a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Oh yay. Yeah, and they're gonna give her a little
cap I don't.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Think so it's a Jewish preschool. I think they're gonna
do Shabbat or something.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Oh, that's nice. It's gonna be like a little button
mitzvah primer. Yeah, what's she into these days?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
She has a stuffy named Brian, who's a cat who's
like her best friend. She's an only child. I call
Brian my other child, and Brian's a girl cat. Brian
goes everywhere with us, everywhere and is very important. Like
it's hard to give Brian a bath because that means
they're separated while Brian dries. And she's really just into
(04:13):
her imagination, like like she has a lot of toys
because I spoil her, probably to a damaging place, and
she just wants to pretend to be like an animal.
The story she's into now is that she's like a
leopard named night Scream who has been adopted by a
(04:34):
villain named Evil Animal Trainer who wants her to defeat
Spider Man.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It's a lot of different genres involved in this. Yeah,
and Spider man's a bad guy.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well, Spider Man's a good guy.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So she's kind of torn as this animal where she's
being trained by an evil animal trainer that's Baxtra and
it's very important to her.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Okay, so it's a little Star Wars, a little bit
of the Dark Force. Yeah, and so when you hear
all this stuff, are you just are do you kind
of revelent? Are you like my creative child?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
This is amazing of course, Like that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I'm like, Yay, she's like really deep into our imagination.
Like because we traveled a lot during COVID, because I
had all these I had some jobs in Canada, so
she really was kind of like she didn't have a
lot of toys, so it was just like she just
sort of had or friends or anything. So it's up
to her to create her fun. But I always kind
(05:35):
of get left out of the storyline. Like just recently,
I was animal Trainer's wife because my husband's animal trainer,
and that was like she didn't have a lot going
on for her. And she's really like if I pitched,
it kind of has to come from her head. So
if I try to, she's really about okay.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, yes, ending in your house at all.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Whenever I'm assigned.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
I just got assigned to be evil animal Trainer's sister, Jacquaranda,
and she has an evil jaguire named Alba, and so
that finally felt like something for me to do to
participate a So I was excited, but most of the
time I'm tired and I'm an old mom and I
feel like I pretend for a living girl, you know,
(06:24):
like I'm done tonight.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Go write it down. Go write it down. So you're
in La right now. But you grew up in Colorado.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Bigtown, little town, little town, little town. Yeah, like so
little that I say, it's it's by Boulder.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
What was the place you grew up?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Like a long want was just a suburb. It was
pretty boring. It's better now, you know. Colorado and Jeneral
was also like kind of going through its teenage years
when I was growing up, and now they're like kind
of got their own personality.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
I mean they were like we like pot hey, everybody, right,
where did you grow up?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Calgary, Alberta your lady? Yeah, you know, people were always
like Alberta's the Texas of Canada because it's an oil
based industry and there's like kind of that redneck culture
because there's a lot of logging and those kind of industries.
But Denver, because there's also skiing, and Denver has all
of that in skiing, and so we always kind of
were like, no, we're like Denver.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Oh you poor things.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, everyone, I've heard a lot in Toronto and a
little bit in Vancouver.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
But I'm sorry, but Alberta is very like shot.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Upon, despised, despised. But I mean, I will say, as
a child, I mean it was a pretty nice place
to grow up. Felt, you know, very just calm and
safe and pretty outdoor space and never never really thought
twice except for I didn't know. I personally didn't know
a lot of Jews, so I felt very different.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I also never knew a Jewish person growing up until
I moved to Chicago.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Really in elementary s? Thing, did you describe what it
was to be Jewish to your friends? When they were like,
what are you?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I was half German, like Lutheran.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Oh, my kids got preschool because it's like one of
the best preschools, and oh that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I thought I was.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I put it all together in a different way. I
didn't know.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
The magazine interviewed me once just thinking I might be Jewish.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
There's like fingers crossed, fingers crossed.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
The record scratched when I said something about Christmas and
they were wait what, And I was like, wait, why
what I did order the ancestry DNA test though, because
my mom's side of the family is still a little
bit like blurry.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Haven't done it yet. It's in my drawer.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I will do it because I really kind of am
holding out hope. But I was raised super Christian. Watched
him die on the cross on Good Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Right, so the full Star wars myth.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Yes, And I was so nervous when I told my
dad they're so religious that I was, you know, I'm like,
guess what, you know, Ruby's going to to this amazing
Jewish preschool. And it was lovely because they were actually
really excited about it because you know, it's still the
Old Testament.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, still still the same book series. Yeah, just the
first one issue.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
And they're like great, and we love Moses and we
love Jewish songs and they are really nice songs.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
So that's great.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, yeah, Old Testament exactly. My name is from like
page five. I'm not even kidding you. Next time you
open up an Old Testament, everybody look through those baget bigots.
You'll get to me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
You're the only other Old Fear I know besides page five.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Did you always want to have kids. I know you
have one kid, but have a child in your life.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I you know, that was sort of the thing where
I was like to have it all.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You have a kid, kids.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You know that that was the goal, And it was
always something that I wasn't gonna let go. I knew
I always wanted a husband more than I thought I
wanted a kid.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I was like, I gotta get that husband.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Just fished, and then I that was very important to
me when we were trying. It was a whole disaster
over and over again. And then we did IVF but
it was like Indiana Jones grabbing the hat before the
wall comes down, like we got it.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
So I've heard you talk about having an ectopic pregnancy,
which I think many listeners know but if you don't,
That is when a fertilized EG girls outside of the universe.
Usually it's in the floapian tubes, which can be very dangerous.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh it was. I had one miss just like regular
old miss Karen with the DNC.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Me too, and then back out in the world. See
you later, sister.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, back to the party.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
And then I had this topic and it was misdiagnosed
by a guynecologist who was not paying attention. She even
did like a ultra stop. She's like, oh, it looks
like you're ovulating again. Well, that was the the egg
embryo growing, and so it was bad, and I I
was probably three.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Months or more and a burst when I was recording
gravity falls.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
It's the weirdest thing ever because I was like saying,
like a mable line and then I was like, I remember, Alex.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Like you like taking that again.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I was like, yes, right, that was bad.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
And I didn't know what was going on, and I
just knew I needed to lay down on the floor
and then like ended up in the er and I
still didn't know why. But I was there for long
enough that I almost died because they were taking all
these other patients first, and I internally bled like two
leaders holy.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And then I lived.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
And then I went back to work like four days oline,
and no one told anybody what was going on because
it was a you know, my personal female miscarria, right,
So like if I had my appendix out, everyone would
know and they'd be careful and they'd understand why I
was pale.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
But now everyone didn't know, and I.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Was just like, oh, don't put my mic back there,
like it was so dumb anyways, and I was fine, just.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I mean, what just with women's help. It's like anything
uterus vagina, It's like, well, this needs to be shrouded
in secrecy. Let's just watch this woman in pain and
maybe we can just decide that she's in pain because
you know, it's menstrual cramps or something like that, which
we also don't want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I was like, I wish you guys would have made
an announcement. It's not a big deal. It's actually this
thing that was huge. We all know about it. And
then after that, I was like, we tried for a while.
I was like, listen, I went tube left. I want
to get it in the right place if this happened.
So we did IVF, got one embryo form round and
got Ruby, and then I was still in love with Ruby.
(13:04):
I was like, oh, let's do it again. And then
I had a topic on the other side. Okay, but
they caught it early because I had a new gynecologist,
thank god, and they were like, okay.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I hope. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I was so mad at her and this guy to
called it. She was like, caught it right away.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
And was like, okay, so I took these It's like
a low key chemo drug that like basically kills it
in the tube. I wish it had just gotten my
two removed because it was really weird. And I had
to go back and do Bill and Ted and I
had to go on my lunch breaks find a quest
Diagnostics in New Orleans to make sure that the baby
(13:44):
was dying, like like you have to make sure your
pregnancy hormone levels are going lower and lower.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I went through that because I had a I had
a partial molar pregnancy, so it's the same thing. So
you have to get blood tests every week to look
at your hormone levels. And just to pause, I don't
know how you were mentally, but I was never more
out of my brain disregulated.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Let's say, let's say it's so sad. I was playing
a person from the future, so I had like silver,
silver makeup, weird hair, and I I was like all
my lunch was like acippe, like I just need to
go get a quick blood test.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
And I remember, like the woman in the quest, I
was like in a bad mood.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
They're all in a bad mood.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I know, dude, it was so sad and it was
like and also I didn't tell anybody on that one
either because it was so new and I didn't know
anyone that well that was gross. And after that I
gave up and I was like, we're just having one
and and what what what a price?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Uh? You know, just apropos I relate to so much
of this through my own you know, health, different health things.
And also I didn't tell anyone, And I don't know
how you feel about that in hindsight.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Yeah, there is a bit of a blankness to people too,
because it is like.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
That's the problem.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
First of all, you don't know how long you're going
to be sitting with the feelings, so you're like, well,
if I'm gonna be over this in like a week
or a few weeks, maybe I just like deal with
it on my own and not like bring it up right.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You know, like like can I just be normal?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Because life is so a normal on the outside, I
don't know, it's weird. And then when you do bring
it up to certain people, their reactions you get are varied.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And nothing is worse to me than when you feel
like you have to take care of them.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Oh right, actually, yeah, which is what women do.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
That's what women do. Yeah, note to everyone, I also
had an OBGI and that misdiagnosed me. And I remember
when I got the right diagnosis, and this was with cancer.
So when I got the right diagnosis, I yelled at her.
I mean, I called and waga can plan. And I'll
tell you what she did. She gave me back my.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Cope twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, I got twenty five bucks back. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
That is good for you. I'm glad. Did you feel
like they were lease at least? Did you feel good?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I felt I felt complete closure with that twenty five bucks.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I did like a yelp, like a negative yell everything
that happened. Here's when I called her in the er.
She didn't even answer just now.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But also, that sucks about your doctor, dude, you could
have died.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Sounds like you could have died too, So a lot
a lot of us out there could have died. And
I just want to say, if you have any kind
of healthcare professional in your life and you don't like them,
go to another one, especially in OBGYN, go to a
different one. If you were like, I don't know that
person's weird, leave.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Leave leave because your lady parts inside there they're ready
to go off of any tiny guy like they are.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
They will kill you. They will reach up and kill
you their anger minor.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
They will reach out through your Tourso and.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
You gotta get an animal trainer on those days.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Ah, my goodness. So. And also you were just saying that,
you know, during the pandemic, you were traveling with your daughter.
You were recently in South Africa.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
We went there for a month to film My Spy Too.
They made a sequel because it was released during the
pandemic and it was a family movie.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I watched it and we really lucked out.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
And the movie takes place in Italy, but they shot
all my scenes in South Africa.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
I was so nervous to take Ruby down there, but
I didn't want to be separated from her that far away.
I actually had so much anxiety about that job because
of her, and like figuring out how to kind of
accommodate everybody was trying to everybody happy, her, my husband.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
And I and you're the one that's working, yes.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And I learned a big lesson from all of it,
which is, well, you can't make everybody happy. And try,
you know, and if I'm lucky enough to get to
work out of the country again next time, I think
we're going to proceed where if I take the job,
then I will be going by myself and that's.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
They'll visit or what. Who knows, there's always a different story.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I might not ever work again, is the other wonderful
thing about being an actor.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
It's like, well, that might be the last job.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
So how long were you there?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Oh, just a month? That's a long time.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
The rest of the movie people were there like two months.
So it was like I fought for like less time
because it was a long time still, but like she
got to see lots of animal and like they definitely
put us up in the touristy bubble by the water,
so like how like are we really experiencing I don't know,
(19:09):
but it was still like never in my wildest dreams
would I have imagined that I would have this opportunity.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So you bring the whole family down and then what
are they doing during the day? Are you going like,
all right, you guys are doing this like tourist fun
thing or I don't know, I found a meetup for
other kids. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
That's the other thing.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
In this business, hardly any other people with little kids,
so that was a bummer.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
They're all that's why too, when I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
To relate, like to majority men working on them, like
they're very sweet and kind, but they're also like, yeah,
I directed movies for four months with them, my wife
took care of the kids, and the yeah, you know,
like I get it, and that's a huge sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I can't believe you had to do that. I'm just
feeling a little.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
Different, But I am the only whoa going do these
sets of feelings.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
I'm going to go straight out and just say I
hear you, because I feel, even though there are more
and more women around me in stand up, it still
feels rare. It still feels like everyone has like a
really interesting situation that they've cobbled together and it's stressful,
and I do feel for years before I had a child,
(20:23):
I would be drinking after my shows at a bar
till three am with some guys who are definitely dads.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I would be working with men multiple times who would
be in a scene telling me that their wife just
went into labor, and then they would be back like
a day later after like to have a day with
their newborn back to finish the episode. It's just the
way it is, is just the way it is. Anyways,
(20:52):
it's been okay, what do I say? I'd try to
give a prescription will go through.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
For some like head meds.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Does your daughter think you're funny? Like? Is she aware
of your work? I mean, obviously you're out there filming,
so I'm sure she had a somewhat like little kid
sense of cameras and film and scenes and magic.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Definitely, she is becoming more and more aware, especially because
her life is being like dictated by my jobs a
little bit, dude the last two years. She says she
wants to be an actress singer mom when she grows up.
WI yeah, Like I feel like I can't be like
(21:40):
my most fun self because I'm trying to get her
to brush her teeth and put on her shoes and
like and like, no, you can't have another snack. That's
the rule at nighttime. Don't you do this. You're not hungry,
you just.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Which just brushed your teeth exactly exactly. That was me
last night.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
I always like, hold, I do a last call snack,
and it works. It always works like last call snack.
It only works as if if it's real last call snack.
So like last night, she really was about to fall
asleep and then all of a sudden she fought it
off as like I'm a starving you know. And then
that was like a tough night because I was like,
(22:22):
I'm sorry that you're hungry. She's like, I didn't like
my last call snack. I was like, I know, I'm
still sorry. We'll have to work on that tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
You know. It's like if you don't hold the line.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Nope, it's over. Oh yeah, they smell that weakness. It's
just like a nine PM audience on a long weekend
throughout for weakness.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yes, and she's got big feelings, which I love because
when the love is big, it's big, and then when
the anger is big, it's big. And I am like,
I realized it just yesterday. I was like, my whole
career has been being in the moment and react like
that's how I do. My best work is just being
(23:02):
able to react. And so to be a good mom,
I have to fight that and not react. Yeah, I
have to bolvingly detach, my therapist said, which is like,
oh my god. So she's getting big, I am like
getting big and I'm trying to not match it. But
I'm shaking and I'm shaking inside and I'm such a
(23:27):
bad mom, that's all. I'm such a bad mom, Like
I can't nail this. So that's what I'm working on,
is how to like not meet her big emotions and
just step back.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
But they affect me.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
My parents didn't have this kind of line of thinking
or with child rearing at all. If I had a
big emotion, I'm pretty sure I was met with a
big emotion back in my house growing up, because that
was the way it was.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
You were in a loud big emotions. You were told to,
you know, go to your room or me. We even
spain whatever it took, shut it down, shut it, and
that was and hide it. Which being this new mom,
in this new line of thinking, and all the love
to my mom and dad, because I feel like they
did miles and miles like better than what their parents had.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Like she definitely took what they had given and did
way better. But I will say I do notice that,
like big emotions.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Around my parents are there's a little bit of embarrassment
there because I'm like, oh, we don't do that. I
think my mom would love it if I bawled in front,
like now, you know, sure, But I just need to
remember that when we're going through this is that she's
not gonna feel any embarrassment around me about being vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
There's no shame.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Shame has been removed. We are shameless.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
We are shameless. We're not into shame, which I don't know.
On one level too, I'm like, is this kid creeped
out by the fact that they're losing their mind? And
I'm just staring at them, going like, I see that
you're feeling large feelings, Like it's creepy.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah, it's creamy because you're not yourself, Like you're not again,
I'm not reacting like I would if I've had a
couple of drinks. And he's like, rob, no, no, I know.
It's like, yeah, man, that's what you're feeling. There's no
consequences either. That's what I'm really struggling with.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
And I think the.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Consequences will come when her wife becomes a little more
in the world, like you know, oh, I'm always.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Like you're gonna be.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah, I'm gonna late for preschool, like late for the
playto yes, and teacher Elizabeth pointing to be very upset.
And then we got there and everybody was late. I
was like, excuse me, Teacher Lives, I need I'm sorry,
but I need Ruby to apologize.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
To you for being lait. And she was like, oh, really,
I respect that.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I was like, yeah, Ruby, that you're late. You know
it was it was like, oh, there's your good job
trying to do a consequence that had no effect. All
it did is everybody embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And Ruby is like, well, I've got this one figured out. Garbage,
don't need to do. This is garbage. Did you do
any sleep training. There's like all these sort of like
different controversial, as it turns out, different methods people use.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Yes, you know, Instagram just fed me someone who was like,
this is what you do with your baby. You always
leave your baby on your chest at all times, never
put your baby down ever. And then they'll feel that'll
regulate their emotions and then they'll like it was such
a guilty thing about This is how you This is
how you do it right, and this is how you're
(26:45):
just this is love. This is what mom being a
mom is And I started to write, like this is
damaging to peeple yes.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I started to comment and.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Then I posted, and then I went back and I
deleted it because it's like not worth it, because if
I shame her and her what she feels is working,
It's like telling when my whole life to not wear
high heels. It's like they're gonna wear high heels and
no one cares what I think. Just let them do
(27:15):
what makes them feel good, even if it hurts them
so bad on their best nights.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
I'm very much into like if you can. I was
someone who could not, so it's like, just do what's
right for you. I was like, I don't know, I
have no idea what's right for me? If you could
let me know that recruit, so I needed like I
needed a plan.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Basically, we never had a night nurse or anything that
we did the cry it out sing and it was fine.
I didn't care because I knew she had a whole
bottle of milk and her belly like I was breast beating,
and to make sure I gave her she was a
good eater, so I gave her like formula right before
bed too, so I could see it.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yep, it worked.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It worked for a while, but as soon as something works,
they change, you know, Like we had some good months,
but I remember have posting dinner parties after that, like, yeah,
come over, she's in bed by six thirty seven, we'll
have some dinner parties and play Catan.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Those days are done, we do yeah too.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I was like, just have beers in my place.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yeah, she's it's great.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It's a great life. What was there a big complain.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
About cut to you know four? No, you know what.
You guys could come over, but you all.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Gotta leave by six because we're gonna become different people,
serious people. We're gonna play weird games. We're gonna have
a structured system. We're gonna be stressed out till about nine,
and if it goes longer than nine, oh, we're gonna
be beaten down and sad looking and.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
The rest of our week will be ruant.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
I don't know how to explain it to my friends,
Like I want them to come over, and but I
want them to leave. No, Like they'll always talk and
have fun and it'll be loud and really like there's
more party going on.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Right. So your husband's a writer and you wrote a
book with him back all the day. Have you ever
talked about writing a kid's book.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Oh god, no, I think it would be so negative.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I think.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Down emotionally and like there's nothing funny parenting is. There's
nothing funny to me about it, honestly, Like I am like,
like he's got his opinions about how to do it.
I got my opinion all wait and all the time
where it's like it's so serious.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I feel like.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I'm raising a human and I and I'm doing it wrong.
Like I don't feel like I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
There's rare. There's like some moments.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm like, oh, you nailed this, you know, But mostly
I'm like, do better next time, even with like I
you know what I should have been less, let done.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I'm sorry, Like I.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Do apologize her because I read yep, you do that,
and that's that's nice to have maybe when she's older,
but right now I'm like, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Would you I mean.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, no, no, no, all right to end us off,
just because we're talking about books, would you like to
play like just a fun ridiculous game. Yeah, okay, I'm
just gonna read you a title of a celebrities kid's book,
and you are just gonna tell me if it's a
real one that you can pick up tomorrow or fake.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Okay, so all that lie.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How about this Billy the Kid Makes It Big by
Dolly Parton. It's about a French bulldog that moves to
Nashville with the dreams of becoming a famous musician.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
That's a lie, that's not real. It is real.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Dolly Parton wrote that book. Yeah, it's based on her
real dog.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
I feel like she would do a different dog, or
she would be or a golden retriever, not a.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Bold Dolly Parton has a lot of layers that we
don't understand. How about Switch out of Mind by Guns n' Roses.
It's a book about a girl who plays in nature
with her father.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Off no way first of all by the band Guns n' Roses,
Like the whole band wrote it, Like come, is it
AXL Rose?
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Or is it the you know? Was it was the
guy with the hat? No fall?
Speaker 1 (31:23):
It's real?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Is it real? It's wand wrote it?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
I guess. So it's attributed to the band. Do they
know their fans so well that they're like, this is
what we're selling at concerts? Now? Done? Are the bandanas
and the T shirts?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Guns n' roses Wilco. All the people going to those
shows are rolling in with children.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I went to uh I went to go see Janet
Jackson with some friends a few weeks ago. You know,
everyone's got their phone in the air to take videos
and pictures, and I can see all around me everyone's
home screen is them hugging their little kid. And I
was like, we're all the same.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, well you know who else everyone going to those
that Judy Blue movie, Like everyone in the lobby was
a forty year old female, mostly white, and it was
I mean some of us were like sitting there watching
her get her period while we were having hot flashes.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
The beginning in the end all at the same time,
Kristin Shall, you're the best. Thank you so much for
joining me after drop off. And you know a lot
of parents sewer comics come on and it's always after
drop off. That is like the only time we as
parents have were like, that's my hour.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Just for sanity. Because she's late. I like didn't care.
I was like, I'm not even gonna look at the
clock so I can be come crazy. I will just
watch you slowly eat that toast because it doesn't matter
what I say, I'm gonna sit there and finish that
toe and it is eight point fifty.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
That is your kid's book. Does not matter what I say.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
By Kristin Schall, She's like, stop telling me what to do.
I said, that's my job.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
I say that all the time. Lucas says, but why
is that your job? I go, that is a great question.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
I wish it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Thank you for this is great.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Thank you so much for listening. And you know what
we want to hear from you. Yes, give us something
that you are not looking forward to this summer not
looking forward to. There's got to be something. You could
leave us a voice memo by going to our website,
Parenting is a Joke pod dot com. There's instructions or
(33:53):
you know what. You can just email it to us,
send it to info at pretty good friends dot com.
We're going to feature it on our subsetz, which is
also at Parenting is a Joke on substack. Hey, speaking
of subscribing, subscribe to everything, subscribe to this podcast. Please
pass it along to a friend. Thank you so much
for your amazing reviews. I gotta tell you it means
(34:15):
so much to me. It's so nice to read them
because I feel more connected to you. Thank you, you know.
For updates, You can also follow us on Instagram, on TikTok,
on Facebook at Parenting is a Joke, or on Twitter
at Parenting Joke. Our episode is produced by me and
Julie Smith clem Our editor is Nina Porzuki. Our sound
(34:35):
designer is Tina Toby Mack. Our game writer is Emily Winter.
Our theme song and music is by a dear Amram
and the experience special thanks to all of the engineers
at Citybox. And I'll leave you with Kristenshall talking about
her favorite sandwich at wax Paper in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Yeah, well Fira, before I forget, I had this up
on my computer. Well you probably might know this.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Do you know that here in Los Angeles you are
named after a sandwich?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I did know that. Do you want me to read
the ingredients?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Okay you The Opira Eisenberg is ham, spicy honey walnut,
aliolely pickled black garlic, plum nigrette.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Oh yeah, sham green.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Onions and spicy roasted walnut crunch on a bubb and
Grandma's big at that's a that's a brand bubb and Gramma, Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Got it, that's you.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
So anything that involves the name Eisenberg. And then the
first ingredient is ham You're my favorite. You're my favorite.
And then just all different kinds of onions like garlic,
and then onions and then another onion.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I'll probably eat your sandwich today.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh I love that.
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