Conquering Depression and Anxiety with Tieara LeeAnn

On this episode of PWB, mental health therapist, Tierra Leann Smith, shares her journey from a challenging upbringing in Dayton, Ohio, to becoming a renown therapist. She discusses the importance of mental health, the impact of social media, the challenges faced in therapy, the significance of coping mechanisms, understanding depression, anxiety, and the effects of generational trauma. They also unpack the role of schools in mental health and the importance of support systems in overcoming challenges, strategies for maintaining mental well-being, self-care practices, the impact of fashion, the significance of physical activity and more. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It gets no better than this. You are now in
June to respectives with big Let's get straight to it.
Taking care of your mental health is not a sign
of weakness. It's a sign of strength. Welcome to the
bank today. I got the beautiful Tierra Leanne sniff. Yes,

(00:25):
I'm gonna let you introduce yourself what you do first,
because I got it all rout down. But I'm gonna
let you tell the people who you are and what
you do.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Okay, Well, first of all, I'm tier lean I like
to bring love and motivation city moment that I walk in.
I'm a mental health therapist, Arthur actress and show host.
Okay from Dane, Ohio to oh.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah from Dane. How long you've been in been in Ala?

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Nine years?

Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am yeah? One more year?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah June jee what June the next year? I'll be
here for Joey's June eighteenth.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Oh my goodness, we got another Gemini in the buildings.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
No, I'm not a Aris saying that's my anniversary.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Okay, but I didn't read. Oh you pulled me up?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah, I had you.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Where your mental at right now?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
My mental Uh? I give it an eight or nine?

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Okay? Yeah, No, I got it. I got to run
with it. I gotta stop telling people to rate their mental.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Instead of a no, that's what I asked my clients.
That's crazy, and I'll give it an eight or nine.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I'm running off of that mind about it eight on nine. Yeah,
all right? Can you share your upbringing?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
My upbringing?

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Oh that's a great question. Uh. Dan is a small city,
so where I'm from, it's like a lot of crabs
in a bucket type of mentality and growing up. I
was the only child, so I grew up it's just
me and my mom and my dad. I don't have
any siblings. I'm very family orientsy. I have a big

(02:05):
family though, So I grew up with all my cousins,
and my cousins is like my brothers and sisters. And
I used to be bad, Like you would never think
that I would be a therapist.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like nah, but you gotta go through it exactly. You
gotta go through it to day to tell identify people
what they're going through. Yup.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
So I had my share of, like, you know, getting
into a lot of stuff, fights, drama, I dated dope boys,
you know, like I was just into stuff. But I
always been a good person. I always been a good child.
I just used to get into stuff because I think
because I was the only child, I looked at my
friends like they were like my sisters and my brothers,

(02:46):
But they were really bad influences on me, and I
did not know that until. Like we used to just
fight so much. This certain crowd I used to hang with,
and I used to tell them like, I'm not about
to do this, you know how, like you know your
future before it even happened. Yeah, I knew I wouldn't
like them, Like I knew I wasn't you know, I
was better than what the stuff that I was doing.
So I ended up telling them, like, you know what,

(03:08):
this was like my twelfth no eleventh grade. I was like,
you know what, y'all. I was like, I'm not about
to be hanging with y'all. I'm about to, you know,
apply for college. I don'e went on a whole college tour.
I just fell in love with the whole opposite you know,
feel of where I came from, And once I got
around different people, I was like, yeah, that's it, Like

(03:30):
I need to be like that. I don't want to
be into drama. Messing my nails up, missing my hair up,
like I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
No on gas most girls and I did, no, I do.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I got one right here, face yeah, my face, Oh
my god, I would have.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
So why inspired you to go to take a take
home in the health though?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
You want to know something? I wanted to be, uh
a brain surgeon if first, So I always wanted to
do something as far as like nursing. So once I
got into it, I saw that it was a lot
of blood and stuff consisted of that, and I know
I have a weak's stomach, so I'm like, I can't

(04:15):
do that. So the only thing that I could think
of as close to helping people with their brain or
their mind was therapy. So when I went to school,
I took a test, and all my tests it was
seeing that I scored high on service, like I'm a servant.
I love servicing people. I love being able to help people,
listening to people, giving people resources, being a voice for people,

(04:38):
advocating And I landed you know, that score, and I
just from there, I was like, Okay. I ended up
taking social work classes and then I got heavy into
the psychology.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
What are some of the challenges you face you know,
being a therapist.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
At first, I feel like a lot of people was
giving me a lot of backlash because I'm not a
traditional therapy Like I like to hang out, I like
to have fun, and I feel like a lot of
the people who I was touching at the time, they
were in those type of environments. And the more that
I was in those environments, I was able to get
more clients. I was able to help more people, you know,

(05:16):
allow them to see this. Okay, Like you know, I'm relatable.
I'm just like you. So I feel like a lot
of the times where I was just out in a
mix of stuff, people would look at me like, dang,
you a therapist. So I'm like, yeah, I'm a therapist.
Like what did you.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Expect a therapy therapist?

Speaker 2 (05:33):
A psychologist? Actually you do?

Speaker 1 (05:35):
You got one.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
My mentor is a psychologist. So you know how like
any industry you're in, you want to have a mentor.
So my mentor just so happened to be a psychology.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
So what's what's the main issues you face yourself?

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Anxiety? And I think that's it's just prevalent in our
community of people, you know, like I just worry about
the future, a lot. I worry about success a lot.
I worry about my family, you know, just things going
how I wanted to go.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
So what's best call? What do you think that's calls from?
Like where that stem from? Like worrying about and trying
to predict basically the future? What would you where you
think they come from? Is that? Is that a sign
of trauma or is that a sign of what's that's
a sign of?

Speaker 2 (06:23):
I think it's a trait that's highly successful people. Oh
where people? You know, like I feel like if you
are a if you crave success, you're not to worry
about it sometimes.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, yeah, well I take that. What you think do
you think the climate of of of everything that's going
on is packing people mental Like you know, all these
wars and internet and social media. What do you think
the main impact is on people mental health right now?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Social media? And I say that because I work with
a lot of teenage just too, and a lot of
the teenagers I work with, like when they parents fill
out their forms, they'll fill it out and they'll say,
my daughter has been spending a lot of time on
social media looking at all these conspiracies, and you know,

(07:17):
they just consuming their head with all of this news
and I feel like it's social media getting to my
daughter and when I talk to them, they always express that,
like I saw this on TikTok, the world is coming
to this or the world is coming to that, and
I'm like, you cannot do that. So one of the
major things is social media. It's affecting people mental health

(07:39):
because of instant gratification. A lot of people they see
other people lives and they compare it to their their life,
not understanding that it's a process. You know, you gotta
fall in love with the process. You gotta fall in
love with who you are and understand that we all
come from different backgrounds, so we all have different results.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
The AI and chat, Now, how you think that? Do
you think that's a good or bad thing for people?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
I love AI. Yeah, that's funny that you said that.
I love it. Yeah, I love it. I feel like
it's innovative. I feel like it's something that we have
to get adjusted to because it's nothing we could do
is stop it. So your best bit is to really
figure out exactly what's going on and learn how to

(08:27):
use it, learn how to take advantage of it, because
it's gonna be out there like I'm I'm actually working
on implementing it into my you know field, and try
to figure out how to use AI to help other
people when I'm not there to physically help them. So
I don't look at it like a bad thing. I

(08:47):
feel like it's a good thing. And it's so funny
because when I was younger, my mom put me in
a tech school and I cried. I cried to go
back to this, to my old school. I was like,
I don't want to be in tech. I was the
only girl, but I wish Now looking back, I'm like, dang,
I should have stayed at that school. I shouldn't stayed
in that sex class. It didn't your attention, No, it didn't.

(09:10):
I was a cheerleader, so I didn't want to That
school didn't have sports. That's the only thing about it.
Like it was strength structure. Straight to the point. You're
gonna learn about this technology and that's that.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
What road do you think men to help play into,
like people taking drugs and stuff?

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Wow, I think just people get overwhelmed. You know, people
get overwhelmed with day to day life situations and they
don't know how to cope with it, so they use
the wrong things to cope with, like to escape and
to fill the void instead of feeling like, Okay, let
me feel this emotion and let me really go through
this and get over it in order to really figure

(09:53):
out what's my you know, highest potential. People don't really
get to reach their highest potential because they're always doing
stuff that distract them, like drugs and alcohol and things
like that.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Like, what advice would you give a person that's overwhelmed,
Like if I if I was feeling overwhelmed, if I
can't even like I just feel like, you know what
I'm saying, I'm just feel overwhem right now, what would
you tell me?

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Just let go? Like you have. You can gain a
lot of power and strength and control by just letting go.
A lot of people they want to We just talk
about this in the car. A lot of people want
to control things. They want to control their life, they
want to control their environment. They just want to control things.
And it's nothing wrong with it because it's in our
nature to want to do that. But I feel like

(10:37):
the more that you try to do that and it
works against you, it will stretch you out. So just stop,
you know, just stop and just sit still for a second,
everything is gonna be okay. And that's one of the
affirmations that I use for myself, like everything is gonna
be fine. That's why I tell me when I feel
myself getting anxious and doing the most, I'd be like, here, chill,
everything is gonna be fine.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Uh. Do you think it's more people in jail with
mental health issues than criminals in jail or in prison? Like,
do you think some most web percentage of people you
think need to be in a mental hospital than.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Prison a high percentage. I feel like it's a very
high percentage of people who really need to seek help
as far as like a psych ward or a hospital.
Even like with social work, I feel like that industry
could grow a little bit better because a lot of
people they're going crazy and they result into other stuff
because they don't have the resources that they need. You know,

(11:38):
it's hard to have your mental impact if your economic
needs are not met. And I think that's a lot
a failure in our economy right now. They just don't
have the resources. So yeah, you're gonna rob a bank
or you know, go do something crazy, because a lot
of people do that just so they can have a
roof over it.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
What do you think the first step is to like
do that type of humanitarian work if we wanted to,
like about the savings, I can't even like I want
to start. I want to I want to touch the
community mental health. Like what would be my first step?

Speaker 2 (12:13):
The first step would be to create or first of
all the project, you know, create anything that we want
to implement in the project, like housing, benefits, whatever it is, food, clothing.
I done need at all. I was a case manager
before I was a therapist, so I'm real equipped in
that area. I feel like it's just coming up with
what we want to give the people. What do people

(12:34):
need the most? And I feel like right now people
need housing. That's the number one thing that we're going without.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
What's some of the misconceptions of like depression, Like people
just don't know, like wouldn't know they depressed basically, Like
how do you how do you identify depression within yourself?
Because some people might just feel like I'm just sad today,
I'm just down, I'm just you know, how do you
identify like I'm.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Depressed, sadness, isolation, feeling like you know, worthless, feeling emotional,
just feeling empty inside. I think that emptiness is really
one one of the biggest ones because a lot of
times you can have everything in the world, like you
have all the money, you can have all the cars,

(13:25):
you can have everything. Well, if you wake up feeling empty,
that's a whole different feeling because it's an internal thing.
You know, like a lot of people that get they
gain materialistic things, but really internally they don't have it.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Facts, Yeah, goodness. What's the early signs of anxiety?

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Anxiety, worrying, and my recent research is not having faith.
I think anxiety has a lot to do with your
faith to what you think, so too, I think I
think because I think the best way to not have anxiety,
like you said earlier, let go, but just say fucking

(14:09):
that's everything.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
That's people. Everything is caring. I think anxiety is caring
too much.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
Have you ever experienced anxiety?

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Hell? Yeah, every day?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
How you deal with it?

Speaker 1 (14:19):
I just say fucking. I talked to myself a lot.
You think I'm crazy, but I'll be like, man, fuck,
that ain't gonna happen. That don't happen to a nigga
like you. That's what I tell you myself at the
time when I go thinking about some dumb ship. They're
like damn, like if the police, even if police get
behind me some ship, I be like, man, I've finish
fuck with you. But I used to be like comfort
where I come from, like shaky like damn, and but

(14:41):
now I ain't got no reason to be shaky. But
I still before like fuck him. That's his job to that.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
You know what I'm saying, It's something about the police
getting behind yoker?

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Who you are?

Speaker 2 (14:53):
You automatically be.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Like you ain't did you know what I'm saying? You
ain't u text being a citizen, But soon you see
you could be driving, you see the publice, you hit
the break, you already.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Thinking about what's about to happen.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Like that's crazy, right yeah. Uh. Coping mechanisms like to
saying somebody that went through trauma, like what advice would
you getting on to cope with the past trauma?

Speaker 2 (15:20):
The past trauma not defining their life and feeling like
their circumstances is permanent. It's temporarily, you know, like a
lot of people feel like what they've been through they
define theyself on that, like her, you know, my mama
died or you know, you know, like you gotta it

(15:40):
be a lot of that going on.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
You gotta know you're right because it becomes your trauma,
becomes your excuse exactly. You know what I'm saying to
not do nothing. It's like, well, I was raised up
fighting and shit in Ohio, so I can't be a
therapist exactly. You made that excuse, right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
You can't let your past the on who you are
because you never know what we've been through. It's a
lot of people that are standing in different spots and positions.
You you'll be surprised what they've done been through.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
So how do you overcome depression?

Speaker 3 (16:14):
Though?

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Overcome depression? I feel like, for one, you gotta talk
about what you what you're going through, a lot of
people don't talk enough about their issues, you know, especially men.
That's why I wrote that book about Understanding Anger, because
I feel like depression is like the pathway to anger.
Like once you hold so much stuff in and you

(16:36):
don't talk about it, it just it turns into all
types of stuff. It's turmoil.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Do you think do you think a lot of those
you know, depression, anxiety, what else? Trauma? Do you think
that's passed down from parents to kids?

Speaker 2 (16:51):
What? Definitely definitely like I would just talk about this
growing up, my mom she was she wasn't emotionally supportive,
you know what I'm saying. And I feel like it's
not her fault that she wasn't emotionally supportive. It's just
what she was taught. A lot of times, I feel
like back in the day, they were taught to sweet

(17:14):
things under the rug. They didn't talk about what they
went through. You know, they didn't talk about molestation. They
didn't talk about their family being on cracking. You know
what I'm saying. They kind of just accepted for what
it was and kept it moving, and that just it
caused them to grow up with this exterior, you know,
of being tough and you know, not being able to

(17:35):
express themselves, not being able to most importantly show love.
You know what I'm saying. I feel like it's years
ago exactly. It's the love, it's the motivation. They struggle
with that. A lot of older people they struggled with
with loving motivation.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
I feel like, yeah, nah, that's crazy because coming up,
like the way you knew your people loved is how
much they cuss at you and fuss that you and
the ad because I love you, just you know what
I'm saying, Love back then was was was through getting cushed.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Out for you, like women was going through battered situations,
and they compare that to love, like, Okay, yeah, my
husband beat on me because he loved I thought because
he loved he loved me, that's the reason why he
was doing that to me. But it's like, now that
you know, the generations is changing, we're just starting to

(18:31):
see through that, you know, and it's actually a blessing.
I love that for us, But I think that that
actually that goes back to slavery too, that slavery mentality too.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
I think me personally, I think trauma and trauma as
a kid, it really shuts your brain growth. It's like
you get stuck in the space, you know what I'm saying,
and then you really don't grow past certain And then
when you get older and you start trying to be
in relationships and all that and being this people looking
looking at you crazy, But then you identify like when

(19:05):
I went through this, like you said, using an excuse,
So do you think that could be reversed?

Speaker 2 (19:10):
It definitely can be reversed. And that's why I promote
therapy so much. Like I feel like First of all,
you gotta have a therapist that you can relate to,
Like I said, somebody you could be comfortable with and
be transparent with about your childhood trauma. Because if you
don't talk about that, then it's like we're skipping so
many steps and by now you're not even able to
navigate through all of the hurt and harm that you

(19:32):
done been through. So by the time you talk to
somebody that met you may be in a relationship with,
you know, it's the connection is just not there. It's
hard to connect with people that come from a very
traumatic childhood. It's hard. Like if you think about it,
have you ever tried to have you ever well, I
don't know, are you very ray?

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Okay? But before then or even now, have you ever
dealt with a one man that you felt like you
couldn't make a connection with no matter what, Like.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
The fact all the type of people that I can
make it yess with, not just women, just people period, and.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Then you peep that they went through something in their
childhood that may have caused them to, you know, have
a difficult with a difficult outlook in order to make
that connection with you.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
I don't even know to get that fun. If it don't,
if it don't aligne, I leave behind just what it
is because I can't. Should go highltier man, get some therapy,
because I can't be a therapy. I got my own issues.
You know what I'm saying. I can't.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
You know what I'm saying. We don't line leave it behind.
That's just how I am. So I can recognize it earlier.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Early, How you recognize it as a man, Like how
can you recognize trauma in a woman?

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Combativeness, lack of accountability, just all that, like just to
you know what I'm saying, just pesstimistic. You know what
I'm saying, everything's the negative.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Then by then you're just like okay.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
It's like because I'm optimistic. You know, I can be pessimistic,
good time, but I'm optimistic. I look at things like
they can be fixed. It's a solution to everything. But
you got some people that feel like there's they got
a problem for every solution.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Oh my god, it's difficult dealing with them.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Some times it's impossible. It is when you try to
walk into your palth.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
It is.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
It's a such thing as generational trauma. Yeah, definitely, like
your whole family could just be fucked up. Yeah, how
do we break how do how do one break that cycle?
Like somebody's living in that right now, like they're just
that's all I ever seen with chaos. How do they
be the first one to step outside of it? I

(21:51):
know how, But I'm asking you.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
How what you just said, step outside of it, step on?
Do not feel bad about it? And it's so crazy.
I was just watching this interview with Mike Ebbs and
he was saying he had survival remarse yep, and it'd
be a lot of that going on, and I felt that.
But I feel like you gotta make that sacrifice if

(22:14):
you want to break those curses, you got to be
the first one to get out of that environment. Yes,
because it is crass in a bucket, you know, like
you will get spoiled with the rest of the bad fruit.
If you do not put yourself outside of that, you're
gonna get got Like there's no way around it. Because
we are made up of our environment. Everything we do,

(22:35):
no matter if we try to get away from it.
Even once we do get out of that environment, it's
still embedtered than us. But once you get out the environment,
you learn how to deal with it, you learn how
to carry it better. I feel like, but it's always
in you.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Why do you think people are ashamed or ashamed to
admit that they have issues. Why do you think that.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Because they look at it like a weakness? You know,
change is hard. I feel like it take for a
person of strength, a person of courage, and just a
person of self worthiness to really want to change. If
you go through life feeling like everything you do is
just perfect and you're just always right, then nine times

(23:18):
out a teen you're not gonna be welcoming in the
change or the advice or the criticism or anything like that.
It's just gonna be hard for you to hear it
just because you just feel like you just got it
all figured out.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Not real.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, some people are just like that. They just feel
like they gotta figure it out and they don't want
nobody to tell them nothing about themselves. So they just
go through life, keep being the same person and keep
getting the same results. But it's gonna have to be
a time where people have to, Like I said, you
gotta move away from them, you gotta move around. It's
hard dealing with people like that. Like I done been

(23:53):
in those situations. I don't lost so many friends. Oh
you think you this, you think you that understand this.
Please understand I am different. I can't be t t
from the d YT for the rest of my life. Yeah,
I came. I came from the d to the a baby.
I came too far to stay the same. I can't

(24:13):
do it.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
What kind of so what kind of advice would you give?
You said, just step out of it, right, Yes.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Somebody change your environment, get around some new people, get
around some positive people, get around some people that you
want to be, like people who can give you advice
because they're they're taking their own advice. And that's the
key too. Like a lot of people get around people
and they'll tell you, oh, you should do this, you
should do that. Why should I do that? You ain't
even did it, you know what I'm saying, Like.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
What do you think we could do? What do you
think the schools can do to catch it early on?
To help the kids.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
That's going through the schools. Don't even get on the
schools ranks because look, I go to schools. Well, I
used to go out to the schools, and I see
that the schools is really feeling our kids, like tremendously.
And I say that the same, like, it's no structure
in these schools. It's totally different from when I was
in school. And I feel like they're just clocking in

(25:08):
the clocking out for real, like the kids not really
learning too much. They're not. It's different. It's not how
it was, how it used to be from my observation,
and I feel like it's just not they're not holding
the kids accountable enough. It's like, Okay, let's call your mom,
you're going home. Like, but when I was in school,
I had like teachers sit you down and give you

(25:29):
a pep talk, and you know that can talk life
into you and pour into you. I don't see that
going on.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
It ain't so so what I'm saying, what you think
we could add? What you think they could add? Like
if you if you had a chance to be able
to school board one day and they asked you, what
what what should we add? What would you add?

Speaker 2 (25:47):
More programs like the Big Sister Big Brother program. They
need to their program back, and the Scared Straight Program back. Definitely,
the Scared Straight program like to something they are. I'm like,
but they don't add a program. So I feel like.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Because we get to get to middle school. The little
niggas got already got.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
My God at a younger age, though they needed starting
you know, yeah kindergarten. We're gonna carry all straight as
soon as possible.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
No. I asked earlier about like how do you identify
like anxiety and all that stuff? But I'm in depression,
But I want to know, like, how do you determine
if you just said at the moment, or you just sad?
You know what I'm saying, you just deeply just you're depressed.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
If you sad in a moment, then I feel like
the next day you'll eventually feel better. But if you
notice yourself being sad and it's actually sad season because
it's you know, it's getting dark quicker outside. You know,
it's colder outside, so it feel a little bit, you
know what it's called back, it's a little lonely, you know.

(27:08):
So I think you can identify it if it's if
it's an ongoing thing, you know, if it's just a
one or two day thing off the week. Every day.
I always tell people, every day the sun won't shine,
So you gonna have some days where do feel like
it's raining to do get a little gloomy. But if
that is an ongoing thing and you find yourself being
sad every single day, then that's one sign right there

(27:30):
that you may be going through depression.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
What about people that's always feeling like I want to
move away? I just need to get away from people
do what's what's that? That is that depression? Of what's that?

Speaker 2 (27:41):
I feel like isolation is good, but a lot of
people do that. I was just making this. It's just
so funny because people swore they about to I'm about
to cut everybody off like I'm about to be a millionaire,
you know, like they be talking good, but you just
talk your way right into a depression because you don
cut off all your support.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
But nah, I don't know if I can agree with
that because I feel better by myself.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
But it depends on what kind of support you have.
Do you have good support or do you have bad support?
Is it a positive influence or is it a negative influence.
If you got positive, positive people in your life and
you're going into isolation mode, then you're doing yourself with
disservice because you need those people around you. And let's say,
for instance, you have those people who are negative, maybe

(28:27):
you're the light for them, and being able to be
a life for us sometimes can bring us more purpose. Yeah,
you get know what I'm saying, Like every time, Like
it's not meant for you to be isolated. God might
want you to be out there on an assignment. You
don't miss your assignment because you isolated yourself feeling like
everybody else is a problem. And a lot of people
do that. They think cutting people off automatically make them

(28:50):
turn into this.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
What do you think? What do you think it is
when people do that? Though? Because I need to know
I'm getting I'm getting therapy right now, like just save
an instant if I'm not. And see this is my excuse.
I don't make excuses, but this has to be an excuse.
I feel like when I remove myself, it's not for me,
it's for people because I know sometimes I could be

(29:14):
some bullshit. So if I'm some bullshit, I don't want
to bring your energy down. Yeah, when I when I'm
in the right energy, like right now, I can do
it today. If I wasn't in the right energy I
was told according to counselor you know what I'm saying,
it is what it is. I don't want to bring
the wrong energy to the world. Yeah, so that's my excuse.
So because someday we all go through shit, do you

(29:35):
know what I'm saying. No matter if if it was
within or or just whatever, we all go through shit.
So when I'm when i'm when I don't, when I'm
having that day of nah bang, you should probably you
shouldn't be around people. What's that?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
I feel like, you got to give yourself some time
and grace. I always tell people that you give yourself
some grace, give yourself some grace to think and to
collect your thoughts and get your energy in the right
wherever your energy need to be. You need to go
somewhere so you can get it and check. And I'm
the same way. Like sometimes I'll be feeling like if
I don't have the energy to give to people because
so many people depend on my energy, I'm like, okay,

(30:12):
but it's like you can't pour from an empty cup
because you could keep coming around with your energy and
that people won't be pouring back to you. They don't
reciprocate it, so now you dried up. So I definitely
can't understand that. But like I said, it all depends
on the consistency of it, Like, if it's something that
you consistently, do you feel like, okay, every day you

(30:34):
wake up, I don't like I hear people say I
don't like people or I don't like being around people,
like I feel like you shouldn't feel like that because
we're on the world with millions and billions of people.
It's no escaping in life, it's no escaping people.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Do you think trust can be rebuilt trust?

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, most definitely you do.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
If somebody So if somebody breaks your trust, you think
that can rebuild it? Yes?

Speaker 2 (31:04):
How okay? Well I put it like this, So if
you did something to me and I no longer trust
you anymore, but two or three years from now, you're
making the adjustment to become a better person, and you
come back to me and you come correct, why couldn't
I be able to trust that?

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Do you trust me or you just are you? Are
you retrusting me or you just giving me a chance
to see if you can trust me.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
I feel like you can retrust a person because you
people change, you gotta give them room for improvement. If
that's the case, you it's hard to find a person
that you just can trust, just one all the time.
That won't let you down.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Now it's a difference between see, I guess we're talking
about two to let down. If you can let me
down and it won't betray my true us, Like you
can let me down just off being a human, and
I can take that. But like betraying my trust is
like you stole from me or some something of that nature,
Like I can't not retrust you.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
That's too much right there, stealing, killing and anything like that.
I feel like that's hard to overlook.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Now, something that's that Okay, I can see.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
It depends to me.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess we probably just
look at trust different. You know what I'm saying. I'm thinking,
like you break my trust. It takes a lot for
somebody that I love to break my trust, right, So
once you do that, it's like I don't see how
I could how it could be fixed.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
But when I look at trust, it might be Okay,
I expected you to be here at this time, So
now I can't trust you to be here at eight
because last time you showed up at nine.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
You know what I'm saying, that's to me, that's breaking
the expectations. That ain't the same thing. It's trust. Trust.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
It depends on tru situations. I might look at that like,
you know, like a big deal. You might not look
at it.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Like this situation.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
It's circumstance wise.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Okay, can you retrust some motherfuck that betrayed you, that
betrayed me. Yeah, I'm gonna ask you that way.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
That's a good one. Okay, that's better betrayal. I feel
like it would never be the same. No, it would
never be the same.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah, because I don't feel like, yeah, I feel like
the only way you can break my trusts if you
betray me, it would I can look at you as Okay,
they's just a lie lying that nigga. Yeah, you didn't
break my trust if you told me a lot, you
just I just look at.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
You trail is like if they set you up, breaking
your house something like that. Oh maybe you're done.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeah you done? No, you're right, you done.

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Like I can't even I don't even want to be
around you to even figure out if I could trust
you again, Like I'm done with you?

Speaker 1 (33:50):
How do you? Uh so, what's something that you do
to keep your mental help intake?

Speaker 3 (33:55):
Like you personal some ship you do fitness shy in
hanging out with my girls, hanging out with my family,
you know, just things and put me in a better mood.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Heavy on meditation. I love to meditate, Like I've been
studying Buddhism for a little while, so I'm into like
my Zin and punk shuway right now. That helps me
a lot, you know, reading books that helps me stay grounded,
being outside, you know, getting some fresh air. Those are
some things that I do to keep me sane.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
I guess also, how you think fashion? How do you
think fashion just help people with their mental life? Fashion?
You know, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
You know, I mean I feel like if you look good,
you feel good. Like when you get up and you
get dressed, you you putting yourself in a different mold,
like you're on another level once you do that.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yes, you feel like good.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Fashion? What you now? You know the culture like black people,
we love to dress, most of us. You know, like
once you.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Get fly, you feel fly.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Come on now, fe fabulous.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
So do you think do you think like that's a
good one? When you do put that shit on, you
do feel you feel differ. So when people can't do it,
you think that that weighs on them, like a person
that can't get their hair cut or get their hair
fixed up. Whatever, do you think that weaves on their
mental Yes.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
Hair depression. Can't get a haircut, can't get your hair done? Yeah,
for sure. I don't know about me, and but women
for sure it's called hair depression.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Or what like even like you know, just everything, like
you feel like you have to to be you, you
have to be complete.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
No, now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes you could just
chill and you can, you know, just lay around and
you have your lounge clothes on and you still feel good.
You still feel like peaceple what you're able to do.
What you're saying being able to do that is a
different thing.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
You're saying to not be to not be able to
do it. That's a part of mental health to.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Right exactly, Because let's start with hygien If you're not
getting up washing your face and brushing your teeth, that's
already assigning depression to me. Yeah, something going on in
your mind while you're doing that. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
So how so how can people use fashion of the
two to boost their confidence and ship looking good?

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Make sure you grooming yourself, you know, to fit your
preference of what you feel like. You you know, like
what works for you if you get up and you
are the type of person you might not get into
the whole dress up book, but at least putting something
on to make you feel good about yourself. Some fresh clothes,

(36:39):
fresh pair of drawers, fresh things make you feel fresh.
It makes you know, it's hard to feel good if
you have to keep wearing the same clothes and stuff
like that every single day.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
You definitely feel you definitely like bro. You can just tell,
Like I be just watching these videos of people in
beauty shops and barbershop. When they first come in, they
be kind of like neigga, be kind of salt down
to your chair when they get their hair and they
show it afterwards.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
You be sitting up, You're looking energetic, Like.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
No, that ship is a difference. What about like physical
activities like working out, hiking, because I know when I
go hiking.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
I feel, yeah, I've seen that. I want to come.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
You should come. We're going to make it on the
nineteen that we're back in the city in February.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
I think I seen you on my trail before to
trill Chatahoochie.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
All of them look.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
At you, But I go to that trip all the time.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
No, I always be on the trails every day.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Emotion. You gotta have emotion. You gotta be moving your body.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
I feel like, So do you go in in inside
the woods?

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yes, so you come up.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
You're coming on the hike on the nineteen. I will
go make sure she's seen information. Now we we kill
them trails. I want to go. I want to go tomorrow.
They said it's supposed to know, so I want to
get out there in the show.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
It's good for you. I feel like physical health, physical fittings,
being able to move your body, it's a blessing and
it it's a sometimes people overlook it, but that's something
that you really have to take advantage of because it's
somebody out there that can't even walk, you know, they
can't even move their arm, that don't have no fingers.
So you gotta move your body. The more that you
move your body, you're able to really tap into yourself

(38:16):
and your mind. You know, everything is connected.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
So it's sitting sitting, sitting down, Just sitting in that
shit is like a root.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
It's not good for you. You can cause cancers and
all types of things.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
So do you think your mind do you think your
mind causes sickness?

Speaker 2 (38:31):
It can most definitely, yes, I do. Because some people
can think their way into situations, you know, like the
doctor can tell you, oh, you have this symptom and
this may be wrong, and now next thing you know,
you go home. You're just starting to feel these aches.
But really is going on in your mind? Like you
really don't feel that. That happened to me when I
had COVID. You know, during twenty twenty, COVID was a

(38:53):
big thing, and I started acting sick. I wasn't sick.
I feel like I was acting like that just because
I saw so much on the news. I was consuming
my mind with so many negative thoughts, and before you
know it, I was just like, yeah, I can't take
so I can't do that. And now I was just
thinking about it. I'm like, was I faking because I am?

Speaker 1 (39:12):
Do you think do you think you can heal yourself
with your thoughts?

Speaker 2 (39:16):
Yes? Most definitely. If you get up and you tell
yourself today is gonna be a good day. I feel good.
I feel great with affirmations. I definitely feel like you
can heal yourself too.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Nah, You're right, your mind can't keep because you fucking
around and have a headache and Google, so shiit.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
Y'all need to do to Google you talk the symptoms instantly.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
I'm like me, it ain't nothing wrong with you.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Yeah, I tell you my mom. Then all the time,
like we're going to so many doctors, like your doctor
can't tell you how you feel. They in there googling
stuff like how can a person tell you how you feel?
Nobody to do that, You're right, How can I tell
you how you feel on the inside? Now, you're right,
that's a different type of magic trick. I never knew
nobody that could do that now.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
I went to the viting lady to get my blood
my blood checked, my blood type check, and I was
already vegan for like eight months, eight nine months. So
she was like, you know, if you're vegan, you have
to be this to I was like, baby, no matter what,
this test, this is gonna determine if your shit fake
or nothing right. If you take my shit and tell
me I'm supposed to be vegan, because I know how
I feel this ship fake. She took my ship and

(40:27):
I was a blood type A. She's like, yeah, you're
supposed to be vegetary, vegan and I bought to keep myself,
went home and checked it right, So I already know,
like you said, can't about to tell you nothing that
you feel.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
They tried to though, and maybe they just get paid
to do that.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Like they tried to put me on like twelve or
sixteen pills for the rest of my life of high
blood pressure, cholesterol ques and borderline this borderline. Now, all
I did was start eating better and start hiking all
that shit long ship like a teenager. Now I just
did my blood pressure stay for your LIS one one

(41:04):
of one. He's living over like seventy U seventy or
sixty nine. I'm damn my chie used to be some
two hundreds over one hundreds.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
But say what they're trying to give you. No, I'm
glad you did not go through with that.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Let's go through this answer word with one word?

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Answer?

Speaker 1 (41:28):
What answer? I'm gonna give you some words I want
you to answer with one word. Okay, are you ready?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah? Mental health, happiness, depression, sadness, anxiety, worriiness, trauma, family.

Speaker 4 (41:45):
Therapy, coping, healing, spiritual self care, self mindfulness, thank you, resilience, tenacity, willness.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Overall, burnt out, tired, stress, overwhelmed, grief, guilt, infancy, sympathy, stigma, stigma,

(42:34):
ignore emotions, attachment, parents and parents a.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Uh, family relationships, love up his thing?

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Confidence?

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Confidence?

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Yeah, confidence, confidence a confidence, secure, fashion, clothing, style, internal identity, who, fitness,

(43:32):
physical nutrient, health, motivation, inspiration, mindset, knowledge, awareness, identity.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Growth, work, perspective, thoughts.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Day, I feel like whip Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah. That which one of those words that got to
you the most?

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Them?

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Confidence, family relationships, perspective?

Speaker 1 (44:08):
Why confidence?

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Uh? Because would I say uh when you said confidence,
I don't forget. I think I said awareness or something
like that. But I feel like a lot of people
they don't understand the full meeting of confidence in order
to have confidence. You know, like confidence is a strong word.

(44:30):
It's almost up there with like power and all that.
You know, perspective because we all have different perspectives, facts
and who is wrong? You know, it's not right or wrong.
I feel like a lot of people fight for that.
They fight for what's right or fight or what's wrong.
But we all have different perspectives exactly.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
You ain't got to agree with them, but you gotta
respect everybody respect because they got their own mind. Hello,
that when my life change once I started like, you
know what.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
You're right, That's what my book is about changing your
perspe Like, say, for instance, if I was on my way,
you told me to be here at three and I
got here at four, and you just get so mad
because you felt like I was disrespecting your time. But really,
in actuality, I got pulled over by the police, almost
went to jail, but I ended up showing up at
four o'clock. If you shift your perspective, then you probably

(45:17):
would be able to say, Okay, well maybe something happened.
But a lot of times people don't never shift their
perspect it to the you know, the good cases. It's
always the worst cases the area.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
Like you just disrespect me.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah, Like, oh my god, I can't believe. Like you
gotta shift your perspective sometimes, Like I always tell people,
even psych yourself out. Even if you know what you know,
you won't ship it.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
You know what you think? I always ask people is
what you think the biggest disconnect between men and women
in relationship communication? Everybody say the same thing everything. What
part of communication?

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Though? Not being able to communicate your needs and not
being able to communicate it in a way where it's received,
or let's say, if it's digestive. You know, like some people,
it's not about what you say, it's how you say it.
So you can have your communication y'all packed have all
the bullet points in the world that you want to
say to your partner, but you might not be saying

(46:15):
it in a way where they can receive it. You
saying it in a way to make them feel defensive.
So now they're not even speaking from the art. Now
they speaking from a place of defense because now they
feel like gang you're coming from me, you know.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
But but what if you was a what if you
are a great communicator and I'm a bad.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Listener exactly, But that's part of I feel like listening
is part of communicating too.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Yeah, Comprehension is everything, you know.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
You think people close off once they hear certain words
like tree words. Do you think they close their mind
off and just can't hear you and they just waiting
to respond?

Speaker 2 (46:51):
For sure?

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Where you think that comes from?

Speaker 2 (46:53):
And I think people get to hear and stuff they
make stuff up in their head too, off.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
A certain what's that like down knows and what's that?

Speaker 2 (47:02):
I always just call it preceived notion like you just
preconceived what you feel like I'm saying, instead of you
really understanding what I'm saying. It's a lack of understanding,
a lack of being able to even see people for
who they are and meet people where they at.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
What like when you when you, when you, when you're
hearing some shit? The motherfucker ain't even said, I believe
it is? What type let's die those days? What type
of militia is.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
That post traumatic stress disorder PTSD? Because a lot of
times you notice when people do that, they go off
to somewhere else. They can be responding. You can say
something to them, and they can be responding to you,
but it's you in a physical form, but it's really
their ex husband and beat them or something that they

(47:49):
really responding to. It's really not even you. Damn Yep.
A lot of that happened sometimes.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
So how do you deal with that?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
How do I deal with that?

Speaker 1 (47:58):
How do people deal with them? I'm saying, like somebody
going through that, how do they deal with that?

Speaker 2 (48:01):
I just say, you gotta keep redirecting people. It take
a lot of redirection and patience. So I mean, oftentimes
some people might say I don't want to deal with that.
I don't have to. I'm out, you know. But if
you really care about a person, I feel like you
just got to continue to redirect you and bring awareness
to them. Okay, this is what you're doing. Are you
aware that you do this?

Speaker 3 (48:22):
Like?

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Who are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Like?

Speaker 2 (48:24):
What are you? What have you been through? Because the
way you respond is is if you're responding to somebody else,
not to me, Like you know, they don't even feel
like you're talking to me in the conversation. It's like
you go somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Sure, damn, that's cold. Book of the Week, Understanding Younger,
This is dope. I'm gonna read it too. Did you
do an audio of it? Yeah, the audio and you
read it? You read your audio, saying did you read
your audio out loud with your voice or you let

(48:56):
them read it? You're mad?

Speaker 2 (48:58):
That's a mean.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Understanding anger? What's in there? What it's about?

Speaker 2 (49:03):
How to just navigate through anger? How to understand anger
and understand that it's a normal emotion. You know, not
to ignore it, because we are gonna get angry at
some point. But I feel like the way that we
control it is what matters the most. You just can't
get angry and just last out and get the fighting people.
You know, like, you can get angry and be confrontational,

(49:25):
Like I'm not scared of confrontation, because confrontation can just
be verbal. But if I say something to you and
you just decide to hit me, and then you know
you out of control. I really want an argument, regardless
of if you want to fight. I want the argument.
But yeah, they talk a lot about your childhood. It's
talk about just the definition of anger. It talked about

(49:47):
changing perspectives anger, yep, intentions, how to approach people with
the right intentions in order to get what you want
out of the situation. I always explain it to people,
if you get so upset a person, it's hard for
you to get your need mat because that is the
ultimate goal, to get your need mat. And it's nothing

(50:09):
wrong with that. But if you lead by anger, you
lead by emotions, you won't be able to do that sometimes, damn.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
So let me let me see. I just seen something here.
I want to ask you a question, but I was
listening to you. What causes anger?

Speaker 2 (50:26):
What causes it? I think it's just a build up
of emotions, a build up of feeling overwhelmed, feeling sad, unheard,
it could be any of any of those things.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Manage anger in a relationship, How you do that?

Speaker 2 (50:40):
How to manage it?

Speaker 1 (50:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:43):
I feel like just having your intentions, like being able
to be intentional with your partner, being able to be
intentional with your feeling and your friends, and not coming
off as judgmental. A lot of people judge people and
they try to control them and what they say and
how they things, and it's just like we all have
different mindsets, Like let's work together, Yeah, you know, like

(51:05):
let's let's come to a common ground. You might not
agree to what I'm saying. I might not agree with
what you're saying, but the ultimate goal is for us
to come to some type of peace, you know what
I'm saying, Like, it don't have to be an argument,
it don't have to be a fight, YEA, Let's compromise.
So I think the biggest thing I'll talk about is
just how to compromise with people around you.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
What type of life experiences you out in this book, Like, like,
what did you take from your life to put in
this book?

Speaker 2 (51:32):
Just I wrote that book actually out of anger when
I was upset. I was going through something. Listen, I
was going through some relationships stuff, and I was very angry,
and I found myself like, this is the first time
ever in my life, like you know how people be
like you can't get so mad you have a stroke.
Like I was arguing. I was yelling so loud and

(51:54):
hard that my heart started being real fast and my
head started hurting. And that's when I realized that, for one,
I had to check myself. It was something in my
childhood that I was like, where the where's the place
that I'm going to when I get angry? Like what
is making me get so outraged? And you know, yell
and scream like but I remember as a kid my

(52:15):
mom used to argue with my dad all the time.
So when I sat back and I really realized, and
I was able to identify, like where is this Where
did I learn this trade from? I figure that out.
And I think a lot of people need to do that,
because when you yell and you get violent, it's a
place that you're going to, but people don't pay attention
to it. You're going somewhere You're you blanking out, but
you are blanking out and you're going to it could

(52:38):
be your childhood. It can go from you being in
prison or you being shot. It can it can be
triggered from anywhere.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
So how do you how do you keep it right now?

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Just stay calm? Yeah everybody saying, I mean, I'm just
so nonchaliant, like I care, but I don't like to
with that. You know, I leave with understanding. That's what
I like to lead with. Like I feel like if
you always lead with you caring and being so passionate
about where you stand it, like I want to get
my point across. Like I'm not like that. I just

(53:12):
I'm so chill. I take people for who they are.
I try not to are I try not to go
back and forth. I just you know, I stay positive
all the time. Like I said, I trick myself even
if I don't want to be positive, I had to,
Like I always be like, I know you ain't trying
to me. I know, I know you ain't mean to
do that. You know, like you gotta trick yourself. Yeah,
like I know you ain't mean to do that. You

(53:33):
couldn't have done that.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
So, so are you big gonna trying to sandwich all relationships?
Are you big gonna let people go salvage.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
No no, no, no, no no, I'm not selfish in
any relationships. I feel like at some point it depends.
If it's family, yes I will, I will try my
best to work through things. But it's absolutely right about that.
But with my family, I'm seeing me personally. I try

(54:00):
my best to make amends with it. You do, just
I just don't talk to them. I just ignore them.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
How many people back in which called d y T
five day, Yeah, how many people back that feel like
she just don't win and win Hollywood on that everybody?

Speaker 2 (54:20):
A lot of people saying like you changed Hollywood or
all she thinks she all that, Like it's hard to
really like even I try to do business and stuff
and day and like they like, oh she just she
like she all this is she with these people? Or
she around all these celebrities you know, get them the
invest in this and that. I'm like, dang, how.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Do you feel about that A compliment? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (54:44):
I do. I know. It took for me to listen
to like my older cousins or like you know, people
that really have my back and be like okay to her.
People are just saying that because they want you to
be who the old juice, just so you can be
relatable to them. But it's not my job to, you know,
dumb myself down or shrink myself. It's not my job

(55:04):
to do that. You're gonna have to come up to
where I'm at because I work so hard. You know,
a little girl from d y t they Ohio that
it's not many people like me. It's not many role models.
It's not many people that can just have the opportunity
to be in places like this, meeting people like you.
You know, it's it's just hard, like they don't get it.
So it's just like I came so such a long

(55:27):
way that I can't even look back now, like it's
all noise.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Now. I tell people, man, you gotta have you gotta
have a mental frinom for your old self in your head.
You do you gotta actually see that person die.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Oh my god, the old me died.

Speaker 1 (55:42):
Yeah, You're gone, man, Like bro, it's corpse what they
call it, corps, it's old man, Sure, it ain't nothing.
And then the thing about it is you cannot deal
with nobody that remind you of you, your ow you.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
You can't.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
And while you got you got some people that custantly
want remind you. I know you. I know I.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Oh yes, I get there all the time.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Yeah, like I know you. You know you knew me.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
I tell my friends all the time, like y'all need
to come to Atlanta, like they haven't did, but I
tell I still open the door up for him, like okay, come,
you know, I'll leave a back door and lock for y'all.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
Why people do that though, like thinking they know you
because they don't want you to skape.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
You exactly because they will no longer be able to
relate to you or they won't be able to touch you,
like they can't even get close to the new youth.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Mentally, whoever was I had somebody on here? They was
just saying like, uh, whoever was? Yeah on here? He
was like like it's people in dayton on how you're
holding on to the last memory of you and that's
what they know. So they holding on to the person
that they know. So there's nothing you can tell them
until they get around you now and see like like honest,

(56:53):
huh oh yeah that was him, show him find like
like even my friends, my old friend, they come around me, nigga,
like bang, just watching on the internet, I thought, like
you were scanning like I thought, like I thought you
just you know, putting on the side, Like, Bro, you
really is different exactly. You get what I'm saying. But
that's confirmation for me, like like and and and and

(57:15):
and I might hear some of my real friends like
that really knew me and be like nah, bros said Joe.
But you different for it because you don't want to
hear some of the ship. I don't want to talk
about it. I'm not I'm not it. Don't even do
nothing me.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
It's a low frequency, right, The frequency is different where
you grow.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Nigga might call me like like my partner yesterday, should
I use it? Here called me because man, I was
just laughing there, like man, how they did crazy? Here?

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Bro?

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Love you brother? You later come hiking. You know what
I'm saying, Like any time anytime you asking me something,
I'm making you look at you first, because as a man,
I don't know about women. As a man, we have
to blame ourself for everything because you wouldn't be in
that situation if you didn't put your situation.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Who want to hear about fighting and drama and all that, Like,
nont want to hear about that that.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Ship is over that shit, diad bro it's a cry.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
We call it fried where all from Bacon. It's over with.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
So what's next? What's next for you?

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Uh So, I'm definitely gonna put out another book. I
love writing, I enjoy writing. But right now I'm working
on a TV show called Mine and My Mental with
three other therapists, two licensed therapists. That's twins, and it's
a female on the show as well. So I look
forward to that.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
But it's like what type of show, like a podcast, live.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Artist, so you get perspectives from therapist, and we're thinking
about bringing people on the show, just like a Maris show,
kind of like to tell your story of you know,
different walks of life. You might have people in there
and talk about how they used to do drugs, people
on there, how they overcame body dysmorphia. I'm going to

(58:59):
talk about that because that's a prevalence, just how people
are changing their appearance, like getting surgery and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Okay, I think that's dope. And so y'all gonna have guests?
When when are you gonna win? Are y'all gonna drop
that this year?

Speaker 2 (59:14):
Well? Right now, we have a pilot, so you know
it's in amazing. It's out there. They can follow you
at tilean t I E A r A L E
e A and tile in dot com.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Y'all make y'all tap in with her. Man, I think
you really dope, and I'm gonna read your book. I
usually listen to audio, but I'm gonna actually read it
because I was just looking at it. You gotta simplify
where I can kind of understand exactly.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
That's how I wanted it. But thank you for having
me come on. I remember when I see you too.
You had the prospective boar it at the p C
s O and you I was like, I want to
come on to promote my book. You said it's done.
I love how you moved because it literally was done.
The next day you had to reach out to me.
I'm like, dang, you don't.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Play for sure, Man, you can't. I ain't gonna cap
you down. You said it. Now. I'm honored for people
to want to come sit down and you sit down
and talk of me. You know what I'm saying Like that.
In the event, we actually supposed to been doing like
live puck and it was so loud everybody that you know,
we just poppy. We just turned into a video too.

(01:00:16):
We just turned into a photo shoot. Now. I think
you dope man, and you always welcome to come through.
And I would love to come on your show as well.
And I'm gonna support you. And you say you coming hiking,
so haul you to that man. Y'all strive like coming
to the Big Fat Network. Shouts out to Tier early
and we lit another episode of Perspectives with Big Banks.

(01:00:38):
Follow on Instagram at Big banks at y'all don't miss
an episode of Perspective with Bank. Perspective with Bank a
production of The Black Effect Podcast Network, our executive Producers
or Dollar Bitch Chanel Collins and produced by Aaron A.
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(01:01:00):
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