Northern Lights

It’s rumored to be the unofficial first DCOM ever… Will and Sabrina are watching “Northern Lights” starring Diane Keaton, Maury Chaykin and Joseph Cross.

This film premiered in 1997 on the Disney Channel.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:15):
So I'm not going to start this the way I
wanted to start this, which was I was going to
ask you if you've ever dropped acid, which I think
is probably in keeping a little bit with the movie
we have to talk about today. So I won't ask
you that question because I kind of know the answer
to that.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Al Right, Yeah, I think pretty much.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
I think I can.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
What would you do if I was like.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, I would be I would be like, great. Then
we have a frame of reference to start with this film.
I think that's all we need to say. I think
we jump right into it. First of all, Welcome to
Magical Rewind, the show that makes you want to grab
your friends, your PJS, and your popcorn and go back
to your time and all the houses were smart, the Waves,

(01:00):
Tsunamis and the high School's musical. I'm Wilfordelle and I'm
Sabrina Brian. It is a controversial week here on Magical
Rewind as we deal with what may or may not
be the first dcom ever produced. And I will explain
what I'm talking about this. So this is nineteen ninety
seven's drama inspired by death and cigarettes, Northern Lights, with

(01:24):
the legendary actress Diane Keaton. Now you might be wondering
how has a harmless Disney Channel movie from the nineties
caused so much controversy. Well you have twenty sixteen celebration
of hitting one hundred dcoms to thank for this controversy. Yes,
you see, back when Disney decided to create an event
out of the production milestone and air every entry into

(01:45):
the series back to back, followed by the debut of
The Swap, which we saw, it didn't take long for
historians to see a very glaring problem. The marathon began
with what was being heralded as the first decom ever,
but the truth is it wasn't the first. They aired
under wraps, but it's this movie, Northern Lights that first

(02:05):
checked all the boxes and was originally considered the debut
of the d coom. Now why would they do that,
No one really knows, but to make sure the total
was still one hundred to adjust for Northern Lights erasure,
they inexplicably added the high school musical spin off Sharpay's
Fabulous Adventure as a DCOM, even though it went straight
to DVD and did not premiere on the channel. We

(02:26):
see you, Disney, we see what You're doing there, Disney.
Don't think you could just thank you. You're not just
gonna slide it by. You can't just oh wow, sharpay
that Northern Lights never happened.

Speaker 4 (02:37):
Nuh uh.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
You aren't counting on producers. We mind to hop in
not with the producers we have. So there are two
very popular theories online why this happened. Number one is
that formulaically it does not follow any of the rules
or tropes seen in dcoms, so much so that even
it starred. Diane Keaton admitted her confusion with the strategy

(03:00):
in the press during the launch, reminding everyone it is
quote unquote an adult film, which is a strange thing
to call it because to me, that means porn. Sh
that's what an adult film is. People. I think she
meant a film for adults, which is a different thing
than an adult film. Diane, I know exactly. She just

(03:20):
thought it didn't fit and figured the theme was a
little too elevated for kids. And number two, the other
theory is she's a chainsmoker in this film, and that
doesn't fit the channel even back in the late nineties,
but now it's even more forbidden, making it even easier
to ignore. When they're rewriting the history.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Now.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Some people consider Northern Lights to be a very rare category,
which is the quote Disney Channel premiere film unquote. But
the true requirements for that are quite muddy because the
rollout and strategy were not really much different than movies
like High School Musical, Alley Cats, Strike Up, Up and Away,
all the movies for the first one hundred it really
wasn't that different. So this kind of just fell by

(03:59):
the way. It was weird. Now, Sabrina, I know this
is the first you're hearing of. Obviously this extremely heated debate, right,
and we don't like getting political on this podcast, but
what are your thoughts on this amazing controversy.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
I need them to one hundred percent get this as
far away from the DCOM world as possible.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
That's what I need to happen. This cannot and and
I will obviously talk about it more.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
But no, nope, nope, nope, nope, not a DCM, not anyway.
So whatever they need to do, get it by whoever
will take your word for it.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Not a DCM.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, all right, so you heard it here from the
one of the DCOM queens. This is not a DCOM
Northern Lights is also unique because it's based on a
nineteen eighty eight one man stage play of the same
name by John Hoffman, who is a writer producer with
credits on shows like HBO's Looking Grayson, Frankly, and most recently,
he co created the Who Smashed It Only Murders of

(05:00):
the Building Legit. He also appears in this movie, and
Frankly does a great job. He's a total renaissance man.
And there were even more very recognizable names in the
production crew. Actress and one time America's sweetheart, Meg Ryan
was an executive producer, as well as Bill Bojangles Robinson,
a tap dancer and actor once known as one of
the biggest stars in the first half of the twentieth century.

(05:22):
He's a serious pioneer in Hollywood, working with Shirley Temple
as the first interracial dance partners ever in the history
of Hollywood. Crazy. He started his career in the highly
problematic minstrel shows and created a career that spanned from
vaudeville to radio, to movies to TV, eventually becoming the
highest paid black actor in America. Now what any of

(05:44):
this has to do with Northern Lights, We don't know,
but it's all really cool Hollywood history.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
There is not a lick of dancing out there, no
nothing but the shoes because Meg Ryan.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
And bo Jangles together as producers. I mean, geez. The
Disney Channel produced Northern Lights debuted on August twenty third,
nineteen ninety seven, and was not a big hit in
the ratings or critical response, making pretending it never existed
kind of second nature, which Disney did very well. It
should also come as no surprise that Northern Lights is
not on Disney Plus it's not even really part of

(06:18):
Disney cannon. But you can find it free to stream
on YouTube, so you can go there and watch it
now before we attempt to recap it, or you can
just listen and then after you decide if we did
a good job or not. But if you think we sucked, well,
that sounds like a you problem there, negative Nancy Sabrina,
considering employees of the channel don't even know this exists
these days. I'm gonna guess you didn't know anything about

(06:39):
Northern Lights before the podcast.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
I didn't.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
I had a very different thing of what I was
thinking in my head of what it would be, and
it became nothing of the sort so disappointment washed over
me time and time again throughout watching this movie.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
My guess is you thought it was having to do
with the famous strain of marijuana from the eighties and
nine Northern Lights? Is that what I'm guessing. I know
what you thought it was, wasn't it.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
No, I don't even know what you're referencing. No, I
thought it was going to be a love story.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Did you really think Northern Lights was gonna be a
love story?

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (07:12):
And you'll hear in my Superta season the reason gotcha?

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Were you a Diane Keaton fan?

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I'm a huge Diane Keaton fan.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
What's your favorite Diane Keaton movie? Is it Northern Lights?

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (07:27):
God, I can't even think of what a favorite one
would be. I can't.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Okay, I think Annie Hall has got to be my favorite.
But First Wives Club, our second First Wives Club is great? Yeah,
First Wives, but Annie Hall is just so good it's
it's crazy good. Anyway, Well, let's get to Alaska asap.
Here comes the synopsis. And I don't think producer Jensen
got this synopsis right if I'm at if and I

(07:54):
never say that, And I wasn't gonna call him a
write him because he has. A disillusioned journal returns to
her small Alaskan hometown to uncover the truth about a
mysterious plane crash. Along the way, she reconnects with the roots,
rekindles old relationships, and confronts secrets from her past. Now
here's the thing. She's not a journalist, and there was
no plane crash. So I'm thinking the synopsis either. I

(08:18):
don't think it was producer Jensen's fault. I think they
have the wrong synopsis up online because I don't think
that's the synopsis. So it is worth noting, by the way,
that though the movie is set in Alaska, they did
not shoot there. They shot in British Columbia, Canada, so
a perfect stand in because it looks like snowy landscapes.

(08:39):
But also, if this ain't a dcom, they've started shooting
them where the dcom shoots. So already we got one
click in the dcom box. I know you said not
a dcom, but we got.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
One in the one box one hey will, Yes, I
do want to alert you. You will find out later
why that synopsis. It was not on purpose. I'm not
going to pretend it was on purpose. Okay, we'll find
out later, or why that synopsis was put in okay perfect.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Oh, I can't wait.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
A mystery in line with this film.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Okay perfect, because I was I was reading, and I
was like, there's no plane crash.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Okay, it's impened.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
I can't wait. Early thoughts, Sabrina taken away, What did
you think of Northern Lives?

Speaker 4 (09:21):
I mean, if we're going to do early thoughts, I'm
going to tell you that I was confused from as
early as seconds number four and five. I was confused
on the entire intro. I didn't understand. I to the
point where I rewatched it a few times to see
if I'm just missing where they're explaining what these weird

(09:44):
little mini monologues.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Are and what's going on.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
And then I had no idea what Diane Keaton's like.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Character was doing at her job.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
I have no idea what kind of job she had,
just that she was clearly bad at it and her
boss hated her. And then I checked out when they
went into a room filled with nicotine smoke. I said,
oh my god, Oh my god, we're in a room
filled with just smoke, like a smoking room in a
Disney Channel movie.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
No, nope, So you did not like this film. No, okay,
fair enough.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
I was just really confused in the beginning.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, I wasn't. I was kind of confusing. I strangely
loved this movie. That's not even a joke. I strangely
loved this movie. Was so weird and so Lynchian and
bizarre that it leaned into the weirdness of every character

(10:48):
to where I halfway through was like, I absolutely loved
this movie. I really did. Now whether it's a dcom
or not a dcom, whole different conversation. Yeah, really fun, weird,
totally bizarre. I liked this movie. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
I think I have you and I have switched minds
because I'm thinking of our quote unquote rules that we
like on Magical Rewind.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
And there were no rules.

Speaker 4 (11:17):
No, there were no guidelines. No, there was no one
knew what the hell was going on.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Oh my gosh. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
It was. It was so strange, and I kind of
I was there for it.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
This movie felt like it was improv That's how it was.
It seemed like no one knew what was going It.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Was weird on top of weird, on top of weird,
and I was there for it. I don't know why.
It just I had a smile on my face the
character or.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
You watched it was one of those situations.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I did not have any brownies because I can't eat weed.
Northern Lights is directed by Linda Yellen, a director whose
career began in the nineteen seventies in New York, were
her first film, a ten minute short from college, got
her the third prize in the New York Film Festival,
behind two other directors, Martin Scorsese and George lucas You

(12:08):
Might Be. She's since won two Peabodies and Emmy as
a producer of the TV movie Playing for Time, and
she's still working today as a heralded creative behind independent film,
most recently directing and co writing movie called One Stupid
Thing starring my friend Corey Fogelmanis of Girl Meets World
and sky Katz from Ravenshome. As I mentioned, this movie

(12:28):
stars one of Hollywood's most celebrated actresses of all time,
Diane Keaton. Her most iconic role was as Annie Hall
in the Woody Allen movie the same name, but she
also has starred Something's Got to Give, Red's Godfather Too
Looking for Mister Goodbar father of the Bride, Baby Boom,
The Family Stone, and First Wives Club. I mean yikes.
Her career started on stage in the original production of

(12:51):
Hair in nineteen sixty eight and led to a legendary
career with an oscar, two Golden Globes, and nominations for
Tony's and Emmy's. This was a big, big get for Disney.
This was also pretty close to prime Diane Keaton in
nineteen ninety seven. Yes, Yes, Maury Chaikin plays Ben, the
Canadian character actor who unfortunate passed away in twenty ten.

(13:13):
Was in just a ton of big movies like My Cousin, Vinnie,
Dances with Wolves, Twins, War Games, and mouse Hunt. I
mean oh, some of my favorites of all time. He
was a real quote hey look at that guy unquote
type of actor he can Also some of his more
recent roles were in two very big TV shows, Big
Little Lies and Mind Hunter. Joseph Cross is the young Man.

(13:36):
Jack Cross was a child actor who starred in two
Michael Keaton movies, Desperate Measures and in nineteen ninety eight's
Christmas fantasy movie Jack Frost. He later played a young
Augustine Burrows in the Running with Scissors, adaptation and appeared
in movies like Flags of Our Fathers, Untraceable and twenty
twenty one's Licorice Pizza. This movie also featured a lot
of prominent Canadian talent, and as I like to mention earlier,

(13:58):
the writer who's play the movie is based on John
Robert Hoffman does some very heavy lifting as Joe scar
Lotti or Carlotti is what he says, because he has
the hair lip and can't pronounce the ess. I mean,
just one of those weird Lynchian kind of characters. The
movie is one hundred and eleven minutes. It might as
well be a flight to Tokyo, No wonder. It is
shunned as a dcom. As you know, this means this

(14:20):
movie is TI long, too long. Get a grip Northern Lights.
The screenplay credit went to both Hoffman and a man
named Kevin Kine, and this is his only writing credit,
but he has been an actor in things like Crazy,
Beautiful Er and Yes, Dear, Okay, Let's get into this crazy,

(14:45):
crazy film. We open with some CPA cam quarter footage,
some testimonials from people in costume. It appears to be
a party and everyone is sharing memories of someone who
has passed away, at least that's what we think. A
young can Can girl, a man dressed in a bunny
suit and a statue of liberty all praise his generous
spirit and his supportive heart. A young boy dressed as

(15:05):
a bat says Jack's dad once taught them how to fish.
And another couple, just as Dorothy and the Scarecrow, talk
about when Jack's dad saw the Northern lights for the
first time, he absolutely loved them. The only time he
was happier was the night Jack was bold. And with
that we pull out to reveal a spinning globe. A
man's hand stops this movement right in front of a
young boy. It's a flashback to Jack and his dad.

(15:25):
He explains that Jack won't see the northern lights here.
They're a phenomenon. They show up when they want. Jack
tells his dad he hopes he gets to see it
one day, and his dad replies, just keep looking up,
and we fade into the spinning globe. We should also
point out that Tom Kavanaugh played his father in all
the flashbacks, and he of course went on to be
in that big show Not my Name is there All?

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Whatever?

Speaker 1 (15:48):
The one, the Bowling one, where he's the Bowling Lawyer ed,
which was a fun show. We are now from there
thrown into a large, busy telemarketing office, which Sabrina was
talking about how she checked out by this point because
she had no idea what dian Keate was doing. They're
selling Broadway tickets and Roberta, a blond woman, is pitching
a musical about aids.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
She puts her call on hold to try to convince
a coworker to take a ciggie break, but before she
can get an answer, her boss hovers over her, unhappy
with her output. We jumped to a costco with its
manager Ben answering a question about the insane quantities they sell.
How could this have ever been a one man show
on Broadway? Like, I don't on stage, I don't understand

(16:30):
how with all the character changes and the everything going on,
how is this ever a one man show?

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, yeah, I mean he probably just told the story
of everyone. He couldn't have played all the roles.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
I mean, it's like the narrator of it.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
I guess. I don't know, but we've already seen so
many characters it's crazy, right. We then cut to a
man in a raincoat climbing a very tall ladder to
save a cat on a power line. The latter wobbles
and we hear storm clouds moving in. He grabs a
cat and promises he'll be home to Jack soon. As
the cat climbs down, we hear volts of electricity and
then the thud of a body. So maybe it's okay.

(17:11):
So we're starting to see why through the heavy smoking
and the thud of the body. Why Maybe it's not
a dcom, but it was anyway. Roberta is now on
a personal call. She mishears Kitty as Titty another d com. Yep,
we know why Disney This isn't Hey, it's on Disney Plus.
She told uh, she's told about the man who fell
from the pole. She doesn't know how to react. It

(17:31):
was her brother and he is dead. She tells the coworker,
and the coworker essentially says, I had no idea you
had a brother, But we find out she hasn't talked
to him in ten years. They didn't have very much
in common. Her brother was the quote crunchy hippie type
and she is cityfolk. She then lights up her first
cigarette of the movie in a break room that is
completely filled and crowded with smoke. There's like a filter

(17:53):
on the lens. Her sadness, though nestled down deep, is
just kicking in. I would like to point out, as
a reform smoker myself who smoked for twenty five some
odd years, rooms like this were common. This was not
over the top. This was not crazy. I remember going
to airports where they had the smoking room and you're
just in a plexiglass box full of smoke. So it

(18:16):
this was absolutely real. Yeah, Ben, in those rooms many
many times you put the cigarette out and you're still
smoking a cigarette because there's so much smoke around.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
The den of my grandparents' house.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
See there you go. That's these were very real places.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Yeah, but there there was a point and I'll just
get this, this is a pretty season in that smoking
room where there was a shot that was like the
back of a chair and a race asstray that did
you not think someone there was a character that we
were going to meet sitting in that chair because they
went to it so many times and.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Then poof, nothing done, Nothing didn't happen, didn't happen. Yeah,
at the costco Ben is leaving a messenger Shoer's wife.
He also got the bad news about his friend Frank.
He'll need to go to Alaska for the funeral this weekend.
We jump into a Roberta flashback. It's the seventies and
she's in a disco. She's pacing waiting to rehearse with
a band. Eventually Frank arrives. He's fixed up a song

(19:13):
and has sheets for everyone. She was stressed, thought maybe
it was hit by a bus or something, but no,
he's fine. They sit there at the piano. Frank just
pulls out a kleenex and opens it up and he
sees an egg inside that he found from a Robin. Roberta,
of course, just doesn't care at all. She needs a
concentrat on tonight's New Year's Eve show, but Frank just
isn't as dedicated to the performance. He asked Roberta to

(19:35):
make a wish on her eyelash, which she does and
then instantly forgives him for being late to the show.
You can tell she is also very frazzled all the time,
and he is very mellow and laid back. They made
sure that they distinguished between these two characters, and boy
did they.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Now bothered me that she didn't. And you know, obviously
I do. I love Diane Keaton, but.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
He looked so much. This looked this did not look.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
Like even ten years prior. This like, this looked like
two months prior to what.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah, they didn't say. It didn't look like there was
the seventies.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yes, yeah it did not. It did not come across
at anything.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
But now, in all fairness on the YouTube's it was
obviously a VHS rip, so the quality is pretty terrible. Yes,
and it's hard to see. I would love to have
seen this Christine, to see what she actually looked like.
But I agree, it didn't.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Make He looks so young too.

Speaker 4 (20:28):
You know, he looks so young, and I know she
kind of raised him and she was a motherly figure.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
But they really look like they're twenty five years apart.
I get. I agree.

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
We are now back in the smoke Field break room.
Roberta's friend hands her a tissue and tells her to
let it out, but of course she doesn't. Now on
a roof in the middle of the night, we see
two young kids looking to the sky for the northern lights.
One boy asked if the other quote misses him and
if he's going to cry tomorrow. The older boy that's
his Frank's sons, Jack says he doesn't want to talk
about it right now. Roberta's train arrives in Bright River

(21:00):
Junction for the funeral and immediately runs into Ben, who
is also alone, and the both of them are kind
of lost. They're suddenly spooked when a set of car
lights appears, and it is a one armed cab driver
who can barely open his mouth when he talks. This
is when I was starting to get real Lynchian kind
of vibes. It's like his teeth are glued together. He
sounds like a rabid dog pirate. He drives them maybe

(21:21):
twenty five or thirty feet tops to the King Edward Hotel,
where they're coincidentally both staying. He then asks for five
dollars and Roberta calls him a one arm bandit. The
kids on the roof watch as the two guests enter
a beautiful courtyard lit by white Christmas lights. The King
Edward's impressive and quirky in as a real Tower of
Terror vibe, which makes sense when Roberta compares it to
the show Rod Serling used to host. The two check

(21:44):
in with a very peppy bell desk clerk who keeps
ringing the bell despite the fact that there are no
bell boys working that night. He just likes the tone.
Had you checked out fully by this point, Sabrina.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
No, No, I mean it kind of just again. I
was I was just trying to wait to see when
this whole situation was going to click in.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
When gonna happen.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
Well, because we just kept getting more and more characters. Yeah,
bits and bits and pieces of information. Nothing seemed to
build off of anything, like even Jack up on the
rooftop at this point. It's like it's just all these
like teeny tiny bits of information. I'm sitting there trying
to go, Okay, I'm trying to like.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Keep it all in, take all, take it all in.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
Verry's confused still, and I have no idea where the
hell this movie's going, except for obviously to some type
of funeral.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
It is a weird movie. It was so weird, and
I really liked it anyway. Anyway, The pair have neighboring rooms,
and ben unpacks a frame photo of his family to
put next to his bed. The next morning, the two
rooftop boys knock on Roberta's door and run, leaving her confused.
When she opens it, the elevator opens and it's a
bellboy covering his face with room service coffee. The boys
are excited to see quote unquote rat boy. The delivery

(22:58):
man knocks on Roberta's door, and she lets out a
blood curdling scream when she sees his face. The entire
tray he was carrying flies into the air. She keeps
having stuff spilled on her the entire movie, which I
thinks Ben is in his room calling his wife again.
Her name is Peg. This time he talks about his
belt and shoes. Should they match, should they not match.
I'm starting to get almost like planes, trains, and automobile

(23:21):
vibes here where John Candy is constantly talking about his wife.
I started to get that kind of vibe. So I'm like,
what's going on here with this whole thing? Anyway, Roberta
is running late when there's a knock at the door.
It's Joe Scarlatti, the man who called her to tell
her the bad news about Frank. He has a hairlp
and a lisp, which is why she had trouble understanding
quote unquote Kitty on the phone. Roberta can't understand him,

(23:43):
and he offers to walk her to the church. Ben
starts his walk to the church when he's approached by
Daphney high Tower, a Southern bell who really knows he
has two daughters. She says she's quote unquote been waiting
for him, but he has been waiting for him, but
has a duty to perform for now. Ben and Roberta
run back into each other. Walking into the small church,
a reverend is performing the service and he announces a

(24:04):
larger event will be held tomorrow. Daphne is called to
the pew and leads a loud whistling choir of four
in a song they dedicate to Frank. Both Ben and
Roberta are a little giggly about it. As people walk
up to the casket and leave items. Frank's son, Jack,
the older boy from the roof, approaches, and Roberta audibly
screams when she finds out that her brother had a kid.

(24:25):
She had no idea. She also sees who she thinks
is Frank's wife out which oh god, it's so funny. Outside,
Roberta is lighting her second cigaret to the movie when
she's introduced to her new nephew by a woman named Maggie,
who is with a handful of other children. The reverend
then joins and asks Maggie how she's doing, and she
says she'll get through it. They then turn and start

(24:46):
just passionately making out, and it's like what Maggie introduces
him as her husband, Emmett and all the other children
are theirs, and Ben and Roberta are of course relieved.
The gravesite service begins with an acknowledgment of little Jack,
and the reverend praises Ben and Roberta for traveling so far.
Roberta immediately calls over Joe, and together with Ben, they

(25:09):
walk to a nearby classroom. Roberta wants to hear the will. Immediately,
Joe obliges and reveals they are both given joint custody
of little Jack. Roberta is furious. She thinks this is
all insane. Ben knew he had a son, but is
also shocked by this turn of events. Roberta wonders about
the mom, like where's the mom, just as she sits
in a kid's chair and it breaks, throwing her to

(25:30):
the ground. Classic Diane Keaton, but again we're in the
ultimate bat of bat when it comes to this film
at this point, I mean, are you at this point?
What's going through your head?

Speaker 4 (25:42):
I got to know, why does she keep screaming so crazy?
Like everything the I mean, I know that she gotten
scared by the guy, mister ratface, and her streams are
are they're like horror film screams, like whoa, whoa there constant.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
She can't screaming.

Speaker 4 (26:02):
She just gets so flustered with every single little thing
that happens, and it's.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
So damn Keaton it is. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
I guess I don't.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
I mean, I because I love her comedy and it
is big, but I guess in this movie it just
seemed outrageous to me.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Well because everyone's playing these weird characters, but they're playing
them subdued, so it's like there even Ben is like
very soft spoken, and SCARLETTI very soft spoken, the Southern bell,
and then you've got this screamer probably going. I mean,
it was just it was very funny, but yeah, but
I know what you meant. Very strange. But yeah, just

(26:41):
be quiet, be quiet, and let's figure out what's going on.

Speaker 4 (26:44):
I just fell in a chair and she's like get me,
like she's screaming.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah, she's very big, very big in a quiet room.
It is Roberta is gonna call her lawyer, though. She
storms out of the room, dropping her cigarettes on the
way out, and then there's who's sitting nearby helps her
pick them up and offers to shore a picture of
her and her dad. She says, maybe some other time.
Ben asks if she knows where she's going, and she says,
as a New Yorker, she knows what to do. We

(27:11):
cut to Roberta on a massive and thin, shaky bridge.
It looks terrifying, especially in heels. Meanwhile, Ben is talking
to John about his relationship with Frank at Ohio State.
If he's being honest though they weren't really close. Ratman
from the hotel bikes by in an uncontrollable hurry. This
place is just bananers. Roberta now finds herself lost on

(27:32):
a dirt road, Limping from the terrain with a broken heel.
She's flagged down by a lady she recognizes, who offers
to fix her shoe, and Roberta gladly accepts. This lady
has a store and it's filled with stuff that Roberta
quickly realizes is Frank's donated belongings, but they don't even
have a phone for her to call her lawyer. She
sees the reverend's wife. Now here's the thing. This is
where I got confused. If I understood the will. This

(27:55):
is her store. Now I think she and Ben also
get the store. Oh, I think that's what he's explaining. Yes,
I believe that Frank also owns this store and they
get the store. We'll have to have that check, but
I'm pretty sure that that's what's going on. So she's

(28:16):
looking around.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
She's like, this is all the lady's store.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
See, I think the old lady works there, but I
think even the old lady says, oh, the new like
the new owner. Of course, I want to show you
around when she comes in. So I think that's what
it is, but we have to check. But anyway, uh,
they don't even have that. There's only one payphone in
the entire town and some guys on it, so she
can't even call her lawyer. She then sees the reverend's
wife and asks if there's anyone else in the area

(28:39):
that could take care of little Jack. But she says,
I Frank always knew what was best, and he made
this decision. We cut to a still sad Little Jack
trying to play the piano, but his cat, who we
know from his dad's death, lands on the keys. Roberta
then returns to the hotel and gets stuck in the
old timey elevator. She sees a sleeping sailor through a
small hole between floors and begs for him to help,

(29:00):
but he is passed out. She tries to crawl out
of the elevator car but can't. This is a total disaster.
She presses the help buzzer until Little Jack comes looking.
He tells her to just hold down the auto button
and press three, and she is saved. Boom. Cigarette number
four is lit, just as Daphne comes singing down the
hall and comments on the similarity in Roberta in Little

(29:20):
Jack's eyes. She says, if Roberta has any questions, she's
the woman to ask. She hops in the elevator and
she's gone as fast as she arrived. Now, did you
pick up the fully inappropriate joke that then happened right here? No,
you didn't. Okay, there was a I'm gonna let everybody
else go watch it themselves then, because they make a
very inappropriate joke comparing women's privates to kitty cats. Oh yes,

(29:45):
and they absolutely do. Yes, So not to now make
it creepy, but little Jack runs off to get his
cat Sassy out from under his bed. Roberta thanks him
for the elevator help and gets a look at where
he and his dad used to live. Jack wonders if
if she didn't like his dad, and she promises she did.
Adults just have very complicated relationships. He points out that

(30:06):
picture he was talking about earlier, the one of Roberta
and her dad. It's from that New Year's Eve performance
we saw back in the flashback, and they both look
very happy. Jack sits back down at the piano. His
dad told him that Roberta was quote unquote fun, but
he hasn't seen it yet. Jack starts to play. As
she surveys the room, The emotions are starting to get
to her. She falls into a bit of a trance

(30:27):
and whispers Frank, only for Jack to correct her. No,
he's Jack, Frank was his dad. Roberta quickly leaves the
room for cigarette number five. She sits in the living
room listening to Jack play the piano, and it's all
very sad. Jack eventually finds his way outside to throw
a ball around and is interrupted by John. Now this
is where again there's so many characters in this thing. Yes,

(30:48):
John knows today was tough, but tomorrow will be a celebration.
Jack knows that Roberta and Ben don't want to be
his parents, but John explains they're just surprised and older
people need time to get over surprises. But Jack looks
well obviously very worried what's going to become of him.
Roberta is on her way back to her room when
she startled by Ratman again, covering his face with a
stack of towels. She screams, again your favorite. She's still

(31:10):
trying to make her way to the cigarette vending machine,
where she tries to buy a new pack, but it
eats her money. She starts kicking it again like a
mad woman. Ben tries to help, but she is not
hearing it. Meanwhile, Jack goes back out on the roof.
We cut to Roberta and Ben at dinner. She's trying
to light up yet another cigarette and mentions Ben's wife again,
the one that's giving weird vibes while he's talking about her,

(31:31):
but it almost seems like he doesn't have one, and
then he remembers, oh yeah, right, oh yeah, my wife.
It was like, okay, something seriously going on At this point.
Roberta says she lost her husband in a tragic accident,
but it makes sense that Frank would want his son
with someone like Ben and his wife. She appears to
be angling for a new way of getting Jack to
go with anybody, frankly but her. Unfortunately for her, though,

(31:54):
Ben focuses on the bloodline they share and thinks it
would be better if she takes him, and then out
of know where we hear music. Daphne has taken the
stage to perform, and she is awful, awful in the
best possible way. She is just terrible, and it is
so David committed, so David Lynch here. It is just awful.

(32:17):
It feels just twin peaksy this movie, which is why
I love it. It's like a Twin Peaks comedy. It
was great. She finishes with an ear piercing high note,
and Ben stands to applaud, saying how wonderful he thought
it was. It seems like he earnestly believed it was incredible.
And now we are finally finished with this brutal song.
Daphne's start. Daphne starts a monologue about Frank's talents, eventually

(32:39):
calling out Roberta as his past vocal collaborator. She gets
called up on stage perform a song, and the audience
chance her name bert but Roberta eventually needs to be
dragged on stage literally by Joe. The jazzy standard begins
and she sounds great. She's obviously an incredible singer. You
can tell the words about being alone or starting to

(33:00):
affect her, however, and she eventually tears up and runs backstage.
She is so shaken up that she starts to throw
some things around and then gives up and just balls
into her hands. We also see images of Jack crying
on the roof. It's a very sad kind of moment.
She's finally broken down after all this time, right, Daphne
runs in with tissues to consoler. Roberta apologizes that song

(33:23):
was Frank's favorite and she hasn't thought about it in years.
She snaps as Ben walks in. She snaps a lot
in this movie, too, just wants to be as far
away from this place as possible. Ben tries to get
it open up, but she won't. Roberta falls onto a
bed back at the hotel. Jack is now sobbing on
the roof, and Ben is leaving yet another message for
his wife about the current predicament. It's really starting to
get creepy out.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
Yeah, and now you see food like they place things
by this answering machine that you see that.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
This person is somebody's there.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
Yeah, it's not somebody who has passed away. It's like
somebody's there hearing these these messages.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Yes, but it's strange, Yes, but it is strange. We
are now. It's the next morning. Ben is surprised by
Daphne at his door. She says she needs the help
of a strong man, but it turns out it's just
to have a picnic together. Roberta is sewing in the

(34:20):
common area when Joe walks by, talking about how beautiful
the day is. He also mentions the activities of the day.
Ratman is having an interpretive dance performance. Roberta is just
excited for her train to get home. Joe is disappointed.
He thinks it's important that she stayed for the party
tonight for Jack, and although at first she seems like
she doesn't care, she does admit that she has heard

(34:41):
his concern, which is very very nice. Next, we see
a big get together at the park, Lots of people
milling around, kids are playing, Ben is working on the catering,
and there's a juggler. We see that Jack is high
in a tree as Roberta walks by. She ended up
staying for the party, which is great. He asked her
if she plays basketball, pointing to her new Chuck Taylor
All Stars, and she starts laughing. We can tell, little

(35:02):
bit by little bit whether it's a stain on her clothes,
new shoes. She's starting to get just as weird as
everybody else in the town, and it was kind of awesome.
While getting food, Roberta has cottage cheese against building her
jacket and Jack can't help it laugh. It's the first
sweet moment between the two, as she's very chill about
it and they share a giggle. Jack asks her why

(35:24):
they need a party like this in the first place.
He says he knows that when his dad's mom died,
Roberta took great care of Frank. He wonders if that's
why he chose Roberta to take care of his son.
Roberta doesn't know and kind of shrugs him off to
go get him some vegetables and salad, because she says
that's what a growing boy needs. And as she turns
a corner, Jack gets up and runs away. Seems like

(35:44):
every time she walks away, he walks away. Oh are
they kind of the same person? Is that why they
need each other? Oh? Maybe Frank's a genius. When Roberta
finally returns with a plate of food, she realizes that
she's lost Jack ben er dat you haven't seen him either,
But he soon returns with a woman dressed all in white.
To everyone's shock, it's Margaret, Jack's mom. What Margaret says,

(36:09):
she came to see Jack play the piano. He says
he doesn't want to, but she quickly convinces him to
do it. Daphne decides it's time to start the festivities,
so Jack sits at the piano ready to play. Daftie
tells everyone this is what Frank would have wanted, and
then the music starts. Roberta sits next to Margaret and
quickly starts grilling her. Does she live nearby? Yes? Is
she there to take care of Jack?

Speaker 4 (36:29):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (36:29):
Roberta seems thrilled, but then Margaret loudly shushes her. It's like,
what is going on here? Jack is confidently playing. When
Margaret then suddenly stands up and starts spinning around and dancing,
it looks like she's almost having some sort of an episode.
She eventually sprints towards the lake, and the whole party
follows in concern. Margaret walks right into the water with

(36:49):
no fear of drowning. Two partygoers go in and save her,
and she is absolutely kind of losing it and starting
to get carried away. Poor Jack just yells at her
when she's finally pulled out of the water. You said
you wanted to hear me play. Why couldn't you just
sit and listen like everyone else? Unfortunately, this is where
we realized that his mother has some serious, serious mental issues.

(37:12):
She's put into a car to return to her mental institution,
and Jack runs off yet again. Okay, so obviously we
find out here that Margaret cannot take care of Jack.
She is she can't take care of herself. She can't
take care of Jack, but he's living close enough to
where he can visit her. So Margaret then tells roberta, wow,

(37:33):
didn't Jack play well today? And she agrees, yes he did,
and they drive off. It was another strange little moment
in this movie.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
How is Margaret allowed to leave wherever it is?

Speaker 4 (37:45):
That?

Speaker 5 (37:45):
See?

Speaker 1 (37:46):
My guess is she snuck out? That would be My
guess is that she snuck out, But who knows? Jack
is still running away at this point, He's been running
a lot now over that shaky thin bridge, followed closely
by Ben. He Eventually he catches up to Jack, who
is now sulking on a swing overlooking a river. It
actually looks beautiful and I just wanted to sit on
that swing for a day.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, that was a really cool shot.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
It was great. Jack says his mom doesn't always act
like that, and he doesn't want to leave Alaska. Ben
agrees he should be near his mom. Jack decides to
flip in his swing, now hanging upside down and dangling.
Ben impulsively decides to follow suit. He hangs on for
dear life, but cannot stop laughing, and he's really just
starting to enjoy himself. Are you are you? Are you

(38:28):
just lost by this point?

Speaker 4 (38:30):
No, I'm just my anxiety level is like that larger
man should not be doing that on that swing. We
do not know how like that swing did not look
secure enough for an adult in general to be doing that.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
He DIDs swing.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
He just threw caution to the wind and needed to giggle, Sabrina.
He just needed to giggle, and if he fell, so
be it, my friend. He's enjoying himself. We now cut
to Roberta smoking cigarette number eight hundred and ninety six
and talking to Daphne. She explains Margaret is just a
cuckoo bird quote unquote. Her condition broke Frank's heart. We

(39:08):
see Jack watching from nearby, and Daphne begs Roberta to
take Jack. If she doesn't, they don't know what will
happen to him. Roberta just doesn't get why Frank picked her.
Why not Daphne. Daphne says she's wondered the same thing.
Frank was such a thoughtful and smart guy. Roberta should
feel honored. Roberta then decides to go find Jack, who's
throwing things at his cat out in the yard. He

(39:30):
is obviously taking out all of his anger and frustrations
on Sassy, and Roberta knows how hard it is to
forgive someone when you're angry at them. But the only
problem is being mad at them doesn't make you feel
any better. It was this movie was so weird, and
then had all these great little messages thrown in to
this bonker's world. It was so strange.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
It was strange, but it was like this is what
it'd be like. Oh okay, here we go. We're gonna
go for that. Oh no, we're back in weird land.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Back in weird land.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
So quick and it goes right back and it just it.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Did it did? Jack asked why she, you know, after
all this time, wants to know, why were you mad
at my dad? She says that she was hurt and
angry for so long that she just got used to it.
But she loved his dad and they made a great team.
What they allude to, but they never get to it
is the fact that he left. He did. He wanted
to move to this place. He didn't want to be
the band with her anymore. She wanted to be in

(40:24):
the band. They were about to make it big. She
even says in the first flashback, like we could be
booked for six months. So he walked away.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
From there on her ass and he left. Yep, her
dream was destroyed.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
Not a good band member.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
She that's what it was, is she didn't want him
to leave for Alaska. Jack feels, and Jack feels the
same way. He you know, doesn't want to leave. She
lights a cigarette number nine thousand, six hundred and forty two,
and that's when we find out that Jack is allergic.
So she rushes to put out the cigarette and apologizes,
but he picks up the cigarette. His dad taught him
not to litter. Very very very sweet, this kid. She

(40:57):
he was like the sweetest kid in the world by
the way he really was, and was such a good
actor too, Yes, he was. Now she knows that they
are very different people, but she's gonna make it up
to him. He asks if she's going to stay, and
she explains no, she's not going to stay in Alaska.
That's when he has hurt enough. He knows she doesn't
want to live with him, and he leaves again. We

(41:18):
are now inside the hotel. Daphne is serving tea to
Ben and says she noticed that he has a very
calming effect on Jack. With some obvious flirting in the air,
he stirs his glass. Eventually she leans in, but he
turns and gets a kiss on the cheek. She offers
him a biscuit, but instead of taking it boom, he
leans in plants one on her. That's my boy, Ben,

(41:38):
and they kiss passionately. After the makeout sash, Ben is
laying on his bed when the phone rings. It's Peg,
his wife has been calling, the wife he couldn't get
in touch with forever and ever and ever and ever.
He kisses another woman, Boom, look like, look at that.
She's on the phone just like that. Isn't that always
the way? He admits that he did call her a
few times, but things are going better in Alaska now

(41:59):
he'll fill her in late now. Outside, Ben admits to
Roberta that Peg has actually been his ex wife for
about six years, and his daughters are away at college.
He talks about the time he's spent with Jack today.
He's had so much fun on the swings and he's
feeling happy again. He's scared, but he's gonna do it.
He's gonna move to Alaska because the best thing he's
ever been is a dad and Frank knew that.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
So cool.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Roberta seems a bit shaken up. It appears she was
ready to make a similar decision, but instead of addressing it,
she nervously says she'll catch her train back home tonight.
It's probably best for Jack. She walks back to the
hotel with a lot obviously on her mind. She does
the stutter step, the stutter step, turns around, looks at
him again. She was thinking the same thing in her room.
Roberta's trying to write a letter but having issues expressing

(42:44):
her emotions. Still that, and also because she's a lefty
and we all know lefties are weird. There is a
knock at the door. I'm married to a lefty, by
the way, which is why I say that there's a
knock at the door. It's Ben. Apparently her train is
arriving a little early, so she's got to get moving.
But when she gets downstairs, she's surprised by an entire
group of people. It's all the characters in the movie. Everyone.
They are throwing her a very loving goodbye party. As

(43:07):
she gets to the door, she sees Jack. She says
goodbye and gives him her number. She's sorry that she
couldn't stay, but he understands. It's the greatest line ever
where he says, I know, I get it. I like
where I live too. It was just awesome. We hear
that never ending bell from the desk, and she walks out,
with Jack lovingly looking in her direction. Ben walks her
to the station and the train wasn't early after all.

(43:28):
They have some time to kill so they sit and
they chat, but then Roberta notices Jack is back on
the roof of the hotel, and then he drops his
lantern and screams Ben. Roberta go running towards him as
the lant crashes to the ground. Jack now hangs onto
a gutter for dear life, yelling for help. Ben runs
upstairs to get onto the roof while Roberta tries to

(43:48):
calm Jack down. He asks if she'd catch him, and
she says yes, but don't worry. Ben'll be up there soon.
But then we see the elevator is stuck between floors again,
but this time the sleeping sale does help. He has
an idea and they strap the now freed Ben with
the hose the fire hose from and then they grab him.

(44:10):
They put him outside. He's got the fire hose wrapped
around him. They put it next to the elevator shaft.
Everyone is now gathered outside, watching Jack get closer and
closer to dying. Ben is now crawling out on the roof,
but the gutter continues to break. Roberta is bracing herself
and asks Jack to count to three as the crowd
gets a bed sheet ready. One, two, three, He lets
go and falls at top speed towards the ground, but

(44:31):
luckily the bed sheet was ready and breaks the boy's fall.
Jack embraces Roberta, crying. He says he misses his dad.
She rubs his head and says she misses him too.
She grabs his face and we hear the train arriving.
A decision looms just as Jack pulls an eyelash off
Roberta's face and tells her to make a wish. A
return to the flashback at the beginning of the movie
with Frank and his sister, Roberta holding back tears, blows

(44:52):
it away and kisses his hand. They embrace one last
time as we pull out to show everyone at the
hotel watching on. We cut to the CP footage from
the start of the movie, again, everything making a little
more sense now. We see Roberta addressed as a prisoner
with antenna on. She says she's an illegal alien. Yikes,
not everything in this movie aged well. She wishes Jack

(45:14):
a happy birthday and professes her love for him. We
see more footage of more stories about Frank and Jack
from characters we now recognize as Joe, Daphne, and even
Margaret and Sasse. We reveal that Jack is watching these
on his TV, now cuddled with Roberta. We hear her
voice on the video on that day, you asked me
why we had a party when we lost someone is
so special to us. I didn't know what to say,

(45:35):
But in the last few months, I've learned what your
dad always knew. Life is to be celebrated, all the parts,
even the unexpected ones. Bam, another message right in your face.
Loved it. With that, we see everyone is at the
birthday party, not just Roberta, but Ben, who is now
dating Daphne, Joe and many others. Even Sassy's there. Everything
worked out and it's one big family. Roberta even quits

(45:57):
smoking cold turkey as she's outing the cake up. Rat
boy walks by with his face covered by a stack
of gifts. He hands over the presence and Roberta calmly
offers him some food. She knows his real name is Gerald. Yes,
he's a real person, and she is a new person.
But it's Jack's bedtime and time to leave. Ben, Roberta,
Jack and Sassy all walk home and that's when they

(46:20):
see it, the Northern Lights. The entire town is frozen
in his beauty. Ben asked Jack if he knows what
that is, and Jack says, it's a phenomenon and that's
our movie. Sabrina, did you cry not even a little bit?
Were you super happy the movie was over?

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yes, if there was a tear shed, it was done.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
It was your joy, by the way, even though the
disappointment happened early on in the movie. I forgot the
name of this movie was called Northern Lights because that
had nothing to do with this movie, not even one
part it did.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
If the Northern Lights was the weed from the eighties
and the nineties, and then it was totally apropos.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
All right, well then there you go.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Wow, Okay, can we do some real reviews? And I
think you've got the five star this week? I love it.
Can you give us this review please?

Speaker 4 (47:12):
Oh? Five stars? From David from Wales. I love this film.
I've been looking to get a copy for eleven years.
It's a comedy like no other, sad, surreal, with lots
of meaning. Does anyone know where I can get a copy?

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Could you have one made for me?

Speaker 4 (47:32):
I'm happy to pay you in advance. Any help would
be greatly appreciated.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
No, David out of luck.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
I absolutely agree with this review. Maybe not five stars,
but it is sad, surreal with a lot of meaning.
I totally agree with it. I have the one star
this week, and it is by our old friend Nunamad
who has come back. This is our one. I'm going
to give you the one star review and then explain
the one star review. So the one star review is

(48:02):
this could have been okay, but Leanne Rhymes can't act okay.
So here's the explanation. Almost all the negative reviews of
this movie are mistakenly placed in their Rotten Tomatoes page
because they are meant to criticize the two thousand and
nine romance thriller Lifetime TV movie Northern Lights, starring Leanne
Rhymes and Eddie Cibrian. This is also a film that

(48:23):
they were This is the one where they met and
that they were both married, they had an affair and
are still together. Wait, is this where there was a
plane crash?

Speaker 3 (48:30):
That's the synoptos, that's what I'm assuming. Yes, even I
made the mistake.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Oh that's great. So you put the synopsis of the
wrong movie on the thing that's being wrongly. Oh, I
love it.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
I usually double check it on the way out. But
it's like I just I just went to the movie
copy paste the synopsis went capt moving.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Oh god, I love it because I was watching.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
Way that doesn't mean that I went to the wrong movie.
That means that the wrong synopsis was in the movie.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
That's what I'm saying. That's the joy is that even
the synopsis for the movie was wrong because it was great.
Oh I love that so much. But while you're here, Jensen,
we've got your new feature for the week, which is,
as you know, Sabrina's favorite part of the podcast, and it's, uh,
this week's your Your game is sounds like, but it's

(49:13):
nothing like. And this movie. So here here's the game.
This movie depicts the Alaskan view of the Northern Lights,
a sky event that is also known as the Aurora borealis,
which totally unrelated sounds a lot like the name of
American actor and television producer David Boriannis. Now these things
are nothing alike. Nothing, yeah, nothing, So now we have

(49:36):
to name four projects that David Boriannis acted in his
long running career in Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
What, yeah, I mean they're not you know, they sound
like each other, They're just not related.

Speaker 4 (49:52):
There's not even multiple choice options, no absolute garbage.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
No, you need four projects that he's been in. And
I I just love how you went.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
You went from Northern Lights to a Rory bo Burrialis
to David Banna. Oh it's so great. Okay, I'm going
to go right now.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
With Angel angel Is on the list. We need three more.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Go ahead, Sabrina, you do the next. I have zero,
you have none? No, all right, I'm gonna go next
with Seal Team.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
He's in Seal Team. That's two. And by the way,
he's a Holly. I mean he's had a Hollywood career
for like decades forever.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
He's like Rob Low where he's always on a show.

Speaker 4 (50:34):
Can I look up an image of him playing? If
I don't know what he looks like, how am I
gonna know?

Speaker 3 (50:40):
I mean, it's really more of a critique on American
media than it is on this game.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
So wait, okay, wait, hold on to yours. Maybe if
you give.

Speaker 6 (50:54):
Me Angel Angel and I Team yes, yes, show Angel
Angelo ANGELA Angel was a spin off of another show
that he was also on, Angel.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
And by the way, I picked four because I thought
these three were right out the gate.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
Yeah, Angel Angel, Angel, Angel Angel. Is it Angel from
Buffy the Vampires?

Speaker 3 (51:18):
Okay, yes, that is vampire number three number four? Now,
good luck everyone.

Speaker 1 (51:27):
But does he have to be a regular or can
he be a guest star?

Speaker 3 (51:34):
I think he could be a guest star. It's just
I would like for it to be out of this universe.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Now, out of this universe, because.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
There is a fourth here that he was a big,
big star on.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
Really yeah, another television show.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
Yes, but out of like the vampire universe.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
You mean yeah?

Speaker 3 (51:51):
And I would argue, I would argue. I mean I
don't have to argue. Actually, I just looked at the stats.
It's the job he's had the longest.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Like, oh, oh, I think I know it. I think
I know it. I think I know it.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Okay, do you want to try? It would also make
for a pretty decent porn night.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
It would It would make for a great porn name.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, I'm out.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Is the word you're looking for? Jensen Bones?

Speaker 3 (52:18):
It is bones. That is also for the record, the
fact that she barely named one again a critique on
the way we create stars and television in modern days.
You know meia right, right, guys gets paid probably a
million dollars an episode, no cluelyas no clueas.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
I well, that's one of the reasons I want to
go to Alaska one day, is because I want to
look up and see the David brianis Oh right, I
can't wait.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
We all do.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Thank you, Producer Jensen.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
That was a good one.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
I went four for four and and Sabrina got one
after I gave her a hint. I'm gonna give myself
three and a half on that one. Can we start
with Sabrina, c'es please?

Speaker 2 (53:09):
So we talked about a couple of them.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
But I'm surprised you didn't say some of these things
because you normally say these kinds of exact things, like
while you're going through the movie. You know, you didn't
think that Roberta and her brother had some weird.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Weird sexual chemistry.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
Yes, yes, I mentioned that because I was like, were
they dating?

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Like she was like, it was very very interesting.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Agreed.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
We went over very quickly the Robin Egg and the
and the napkin was the weirdest part. I don't understand whatever.
And then when after she looks at her blank napkin, like, oh,
like you look at tissue paper like that for the
rest of your life now, like looking for the robin eggs, like.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
You put your nose in it, and you're like, remember
the robine?

Speaker 4 (54:01):
So weird you didn't say this once and you normally
call out.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
And I don't know if it's because it was Diane Keaton.

Speaker 4 (54:08):
I don't know if you were just giving her a
little bit more respect than you might be giving us
our other younger actors.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
But Roberta was a dick and I was so you
would not say that once will and she was she
was ale.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
To everyone that she wasn't in the last scene and
then she's mean to her friend who seems to come
all the way to Alaska for her like new like
nephew's birthday, and she's like get over it, like she's.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
She's not a pleasant person.

Speaker 4 (54:42):
No, no, no, And I know this was like all
funky wanky, just wonky people. Everywhere there's craziness, but that
picnic was more of a circus type situation than any
kind of picnic.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
There was like just everyone was.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Doing just the strangest activities throughout the whole time they
were out in that picnic. That was the scariest bridge
I've ever seen. I don't even think if I was
paid to be there in the movie, I would have
stepped foot on that.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
I thought the same thing. I was like, Okay, so
I've got to act on this bridge. Could I do it?
I was like, okay, yeah, I'd have to.

Speaker 4 (55:13):
But I would have been but like the terrified, like
being terrified while being on that bridge as the actors were,
I do.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Believe was real.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
Yeah, I agree, it not look like it.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
And then can you answer this for me?

Speaker 4 (55:28):
Maybe I was kind of checked in and out too much?
Why was it was not? And it was a question
I had that was never answered. Why was Daphne waiting
for Ben? Always waited for Ben?

Speaker 1 (55:43):
They never answered it? Okay they didn't, And I thought
the same thing. She said, I've been waiting for you.
I don't know. She seemed to like them right off.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
The bat, why, I told her must have been but
I never.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Theory because I've thought of this. Yeah, so obviously the
Lynchian vibes of all this stuff is there all so
a supernatural thing that she has going on. That like
she's like she didn't even give her name earlier when
she got in the elevator, Like she's just she's a
mystic kind of Yeah, she's a being, like a ghost.
I don't know a ghost, but I mean I think
she's just like a medium. She's just like a stick

(56:16):
or something. Yeah, I think that's I think that's possible.
That's possible.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
That was a question that I kept thinking.

Speaker 4 (56:22):
And I don't know if it was a scene that
was cut, if it was meant to be that way,
but they never answered it, and it was a big one,
like why were you waiting for this?

Speaker 1 (56:30):
I like the idea that she's a mystic.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
I think that's yeah, that would.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
Especially because they weren't even that close of friends in college,
Like there's something, there's something weird.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Well, see, that was the other thing they weren't. They
didn't go to college together.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
No, No, I was saying him and him in Jack's dad,
like they weren't even that close in college.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
He says, no, him and Jack's dad. Yeah, No, they
didn't go to college together.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Jack's Jacks.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
When Jack's dad, when Frank went to Ohio State. After
Ohio State, he moved into their garage. But they didn't
go to college to Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
It's like they're not even that close. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Yeah, so they didn't. Yeah, they didn't go to college together.
They didn't. It was just he just lived there. It
was very strange. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Anyway, But the Northern Lights that I was hoping for
of a movie, I'm going to take two seconds to explain.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
I thought it was going to be a love story.
The day before Jordan.

Speaker 4 (57:18):
And I actually got engaged, we were we were in
Iceland and there was a chance that we were going
to see northern lights.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
So I was in this realm of.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
Thinking we were going to get engaged soon, and we
were going on this big trip. And at the end
of the night, after many times I thought I was
going to turn around, He's going to be.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
On his knee, and he wasn't.

Speaker 4 (57:37):
We get back to the hotel and he's like, Oh,
let's go outside and see if we can see the
northern lights. So I'm going this is it. This is
the moment I'm getting It's going to be the northern lights.
The Northern lights were not there, and Jordan never got
on a knee. So I was hoping this movie was
going to make me feel better about the Northern Lights.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
It wasn't even a part of anything of this storyline.
I was so confused.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Anyway, anywhere was anyone smoking?

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Yeah, we had a tiny smoke filled room.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
On one knee.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Jordan gets down on one while coffin.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
I really thought he was going to because it was like, so.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
So, did you not get engaged in Iceland?

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Not in Iceland.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
We did in Ireland when we were on the next
part of our of our trip, so he knew I
was looking for that engaged.

Speaker 6 (58:21):
Yeah, he's great full day.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
So yeah, anyway is great. That's a good one. All right, Well,
now we've got thank you for those Sabrina seas. Those
are good, and that would have been a good movie.
It's just called Jordan and Sabrina under the Northern Lights,
not getting engaged, not getting engaged at all, and hopefully
in separate hotel rooms because you weren't married yet. We
are now going to rate this movie one out of

(58:45):
ten one. I think this time we're going to do
one being the worst and ten being the best. Here
are options this week. We've got one out of ten cigarettes,
one out of ten Disney omittances one at ten, Rabbi
Dog Pirates, Reverend Kids one out of ten, Ratman's one
out of ten, Thin Shaky Bridges, one out of ten,

(59:07):
Bad Daphney performances, Sassy Cats or one out of ten
Leanne Rhymes movies you pick this week? What would you like? Sabria.

Speaker 4 (59:16):
It's not really the most hilarious one on this list,
I will say that, but it has to be cigarettes
because there were just so many in this Disney movie that.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
It was absurd.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
We got to do one out of ten cigarettes because
there were definitely more than tens.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Okay, well, I think you went first last time.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
I think no, I mean no, I mean I think
you did.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Okay, then your first what do you got go? How
many cigarettes are you gonna give? Northern Lights?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (59:42):
Man, If it weren't for Diane Keaton just being in
it and my love for her, it probably would be
even lower. And again, this movie, it wasn't anything I
expected it.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
Sure, I usually am a fan.

Speaker 4 (59:56):
Of big, outlandish, just comed comical characters. I found it
so confusing and just hard to like follow and keep watching.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
I'm going to give this four cigarettes.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
Four cigarettes? Wow, that might be one of your lowest
scores ever for cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
I don't think I've gone below four yet.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Okay, I disagree, I really do. I don't know why,
if I was in the right state of mind, if
I don't know what I was expecting me because I
didn't know what to expect. I really liked this movie.
It was weird. I liked the message, I liked the performances.
It was just strange. I'm actually giving this seven and
a half cigarettes. Wow, I almost went to eight, but

(01:00:37):
then some of the weirdness.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Compleet, like dichotomy here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
Right right, So we're totally different.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
This is like the same gap between our.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
I actually had it around seven and a half as well.
So Sabrina is on an island here.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
I'll live on my island.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
It was crazy live on your island, but put on
a wig and then I won't recognize you. Yes, So
thank you so much for joining us for this very interesting,
strange and beautifully wonderful movie or just strange movie. And
next week join us as we recap the LeeAnne rhymes Northern.
I'm kidding. That's not what it is about. God, that

(01:01:19):
is not what we're doing. No, our next movie. Wow,
I get to say this out loud. Our next movie
is very near and dear to my heart. It's the
thing in my career that my mom loves the most. Yes,
another forgotten Disney production, It's nineteen ninety nine's h E
Double Hockey Sticks will be next, starring myself and one

(01:01:43):
much better looking guy who goes by the name of
Matthew Lawrence. It's only viewable on YouTube unfortunately, so you
can watch it there for free before we get to it,
so go check it out. We also have a great
park Hopper episode this week. We're talking to the wonderful
Jordan Danger formerly known as Jordan Hinson. We talked all
about her first acting job ever as Caitlin Kingsford in

(01:02:04):
the Hockey Slash Ice Skating film Go Figure. Here's a
sneak peek.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
Can you ice skate?

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
And it's like sure, my life? And I was like yeah,
and like my brain, I don't know what I was thinking.
I said pretty good, pretty well, you know. I told
them I could ice skate, not just ice skate, but
I could do it well, which was I don't know
what I was thinking. But I grew up doing gymnastics.
I was like a big gymnast, so I was like,
how hard can it be?

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:02:31):
Totally different, not at all the same.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
She was awesome and so cool. Thank you so much
and don't forget. If you want to hear more, remember
to subscribe to our dedicated feed, Magical Rewind and Apple podcasts,
iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss another episode,
and you can follow us at Magical Rewind Pod on
the Instagram Machine. Thanks everybody, Bye bye,