September 19, 2023 • 45 mins
This week's episode is a cross episode compilation of Kate's Jamaica Incident with the Boys in Philly. We're the best law firm in the world. 7 beers for the band. Sometimes you have to be the entire reason someone goes on the vacation. Whoa, guys? That's my suitcase! Diving straight into the lagoon. You don't pay for the room, you pay for the lock. Recourse. Not some kind of error of mere negligence occurred. They're lucky violence didn't occur. Wasn't a glitch. Rate? Reduction? The micro influencer has value. I'm going crazy on the cast. Where is the cold-hearted bitch now? From the Law Offices of Jacqueline Novak. The phone call is in the wind.
Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kate Berlance, I'm Jacqueline Novak. And this is Poog,
an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends, two
untamable intellects. This is our hobby, This is our hell,
This is our naked desire for free products. This is
Poog readings.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Listeners, this week you will be experiencing a curation, a collage, what.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Many would call a remix. This is a kind of
let's become, sort of a classic Poog tale from the archive,
which is the Jamaica break In, So please enjoy it
in Jamaica. So the final night, John and night. And
by the way, beautiful bar again you said that the hotelification,
the bar overlooking the ocean beautiful, not hotelified, just very again,
(00:48):
just romantic, not fussy, really really pretty. Okay. The point
is final night. We're leaving dinner. We hear incredible music playing.
We're like, what's going on? Like where is this band
coming from? We stumble upon what is clearly a private party.
There's a long table and there are like fifteen so
(01:09):
we had heard from because of course we made friends
with Don, who took us out, you know, snorkeling and
he was like, oh, there's these there are lawyers. He's
don donkey hotel or a guest sorry hotel. Okay, so
what the point is? It was like, I have some
lawyers staying here. We clocked the lawyers, we've been tracking them.
We go, we stumbled upon what is a private lawyer?
(01:29):
We can charm their asses? Well, the band fucking rules, okay,
talking seven piece band, and the lawyers aren't dance sing
as you can imagine. They're by the bar getting hammered.
You know, it's like all these it's like these like men,
these like a little sweat on the back of an
overly long show shoulders, like white guys Like yeah, you know,
(01:50):
I go, John, we're crashing this party. Of course we
go in. We start dancing from the heart. Again, We're
not dancing because it's like, oh, we're dancing because we're
fucking moved by the fucking and.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
What did you see someone catch a glimpse their eye
kind of over their buddies shoulder.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, a few people start looking at us because but
it's not a big party. I want to be clear,
twenty people, amazing small party. John and I clearly don't belong.
Very risky, highly risky people are looking over at us.
We're dancing. The band goes, this is our last song,
and it's that thing too where it's like, oh no,
like they're used to performing for tourists, so it's like
a reggae like and they're playing like you know, every
(02:30):
little thing is going to be all right right or something,
and I was like, no, that can't be it no
more more more. Were you actually calling that out? I'm
calling it out, don't stop. So one of the guys,
of course, one of the gay lawyers, came up to
us and like, are you guys those comedians or whatever.
We're like yeah. So then I start chatting him up
and I go listen, the band cannot be done. You
(02:52):
need to tell your boss to like add a couple
more hours to the fucking thing. Or I watch this
happen in real class, sweetie. Okay, sorry exactly. I watched
this partner with a cigar in his hand. Something created,
A little negotiation happens. They start playing the gay lawyer
is not no, the gaylor is not the part guard.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
To be clear, Yeah, this other guy's spoken to the cigar.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting too excited. I'm forgetting the order.
I'm getting into the order. Okay. So the gay guys like,
I'm like, you gotta tell your boss to get the
band to play more because it was like ten o'clock.
I'm like, they can't be done. This is you know,
I am by the bar cigar man lawyer. I hear
you guys are comedians, right, and I'm like, yeah, we
start trying to go. You gotta get he goes. We're
(03:34):
you know, we're a law firm in Philadelphia. By the way,
this like hammered drunk and this is so we'll come later.
This hammer drunk lawyer comes over to me or the
best law room in the world. No, no, no, this is
too much. Okay, okay, drunk out of his fucking mind leaves.
I'm talking to the lawyer and it's got the cigar
at one point and then the but you were in
(03:59):
those else. I'm wearing my target. So again, I want
to be clear, when did jamake it from New York?
All I had were winter boots and winter coats. I
had this only winter gear. I emergency ran to Target,
which is where you go when you have a trip.
Two swimsuits, flip flop and the only places everything all
year long, and honey, it was dead winter thirty percent.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Off, and the Exhilaration brand continues to surprise and delight
every season.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's all all I know is I had the only
thing I needed for my trip. So I'm wearing but okay,
but the partner is talking to me. He's got a cigar.
He goes, this bother, you a cigar? I go, No,
I go, and where I go. It reminds me of
my childhood. Oh my god, he goes, oh, did your
dad smoke his cigar? I was like no, but his
friend used to I'm like, ew I know, No, No,
(04:44):
I loving what am I doing? No? No, he was okay,
and John and I both felt he was flirting with
both of us. We're like, We're like, wait, He's like there, okay, yeah, okay,
I'm sure. So I'm like, we got to get the
band to play more. I watched him go over talk
to the leads singer, they work it out, they start playing.
I go over to the bar and I go, I
want seven beers for the band right now. Oh my god, okay,
(05:06):
you're not getting them beers. And I carry over red
stripes to the bands. So fun on the company tak.
Needless to say, I know they start drinking beer? Was
on the company tab?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Wait, hold on, yes, yes, it's on the company tap.
Did you say it's on the company tab? Did you
know it was just happening by virtue.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Of I just knew. I knew that it was a
private party. I knew that.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You just asked the bartender it's a twenty person party,
and he sees that you've been talking to the partner.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I had a tequila soda on the company Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no,
I'm in. I'm in. What are they going to do? Hey,
you can't have drinks here? No, no, no, not after
we're dancing and making them experienced.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Literally the entire reason they came on, the entire reason
they came on the vacation is spontaneously. Sometimes you have
to be for someone else, the entire reason they came
on the vacation. You have to actually serve that up
a lot in life. Oh, I mean, if you're if
we're port you know.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Hm, so I so, I I go over, I give
them beers and I'm like, I want to hear what
you guys want to play? Oh my god, Kate, they
always don't play anything. I'm like, I know, but like,
what do you guys like. I'm just like, I'm sure.
They start to fucking Oh my god, crank it out.
I'm on my knees at one point, dancing so hard.
I'm feeling it so hard. I'm on my knee. The
finest story, and I want to be clear that the
(06:19):
ocean is at night crashing. My god, we're on the beach.
The music is unbelievable, cool sand. We're getting down so hard.
I and then and by the way, people are starting
to dance. Suddenly some of the lawyers are starting to dance.
Oh my god. Then it goes even further, and I go,
what do you guys want? You want to shot the
band again? Yeah? They go, yeah, we'll like tequila shots.
(06:41):
I go to bargle, Hey, I'd like to buy, and
I'd like to buy because but I was just like,
can we get some tequila shots for the band? I
watched them open a brand new bottle of Patron and
they pour thick, heavy shots holiday holiday poor shots. I
take them over the band. I just want to say
that it was a joy to buy tequila for the
band on the company card or dancing having a great time.
(07:02):
Everything's great. The partners like, oh, if you're ever in Philadelphia,
forever in Philadelphia, we'll represent you. Yeah. John of course
was like, I'm trying to sue someone in Philadelphia and
the guy thought it was real.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Of course, Oh my god, like, no, we're joking because
guess what, I thought it was real when you just
said it. Despite John constantly telling lies, okay as gags,
I believe every single one.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, yeah, Well, the same thing happened. We were talking about
one of the lawyers and the lawyer was like, what
do you like, what's up with you guys? And John
was like, we're here with our kids. Oh my god, well, no,
it's not real, but they think it's real, you know,
just it's constant, okay, So the point is he's not
a control. Finally, the band closes. Finally the band really
does end incredible set.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And you were like, that's the perfect time. In the end,
You're like, that was the perfect time to end. I
couldn't have danced a single Moore if he they played
one more song that.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Would run so great night John and Knight's our final night.
And we're like remarked, We're like we cannot believe that
the night ended with that, like the trip ended with that,
(08:11):
just unbelievable. We go back to our room. We're sharing
this room. It's around twelve thirty. I hear all of
a sudden, wait, wait, you know, so it's scarier. So okay,
So we're in this unbelievable lagoon cottage on the water. Yes,
fucking psychotic. Okay, it's the nicest Pice've ever stayed. And
(08:32):
we're in there and we hear something. We're brushing our
teeth together, his and her sayings, and we hear like
something that is enough to make us both kind of
turn around and go, h what was that? And it
kind of kind of ooh, a little scary, like, oh,
you know, is it a fucking like animal? Like what
the hell? So we hear that, we're kind of scared.
Then we immediately dissolved. We're brushing our teeth. John goes
(08:54):
into the bedroom. Aria, I'm in the bathroom, and I
hear I hear John say, whoa, oh you guys. I
go in. Two drunk lawyers are standing in our wait no, no, no, no.
My adrenaline shoots through the roof. Two drunk men in
the room here to clearly rape and murder. I start
(09:16):
to scream. I don't scream. I go get the fuck
out of it. What the hell? John goes out.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
First you're still in the bathroom, and then you hear
John say, guys.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
John, I'm in the bathroom. But it's like one open.
I hear John go. I heard John as if a
puppy has wandered in. I heard John say like, well,
you guys, like, what are you doing here? I go in.
So they entered a fear at the door they entered.
They entered.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
So they're standing John, he's not at the door, and
people have kind of argued that walked in.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They've already walked in Hurley Shane guys. So John really
is like, guys, I was like, okay, so give me,
let's give it. Give it to me for real. I say,
what the hell? And I'm like and one of them,
so one of them is the guy best from in
the world, the super hammered guy, and then a less
hammered but still very hammered guy. The very hammered guy
(10:05):
is walking in and he's fully in. The other guy
still kind of lingering around the doorway, and they're like,
this is our room, this is my room. I go,
this is not your room. They're like, this is our room,
and I'm like, this is not your fucking room. I
was like, you need to get the hell out of
here right now, and I walk outside. I encourage them
to get outside and to be in more public space. Yeah,
and just because I'm I didn't feel I soon realized like, Okay,
(10:27):
they're not being aggressive drunk. They're actually so hammered and
I think they actually are confused, like something's going on
that I don't understand. But this is the scariest thing
in the world and there's a good chance they are
staying in a lagoon room. Yeah, I don't feel the
need to scream, like but because it's also the resort,
it's small. It's like if I were to scream, everyone
would here or whatever. But this one guy won't get
(10:49):
the fuck out of here. And he's like, this is
my suitcase. That is not your suitcase. It's our John
saying going to like is John John not protecting? I peacocked.
I was pumping. I was like you, and I was
like you, Like the masculine energy switch got turned and
I was like, get the if that hell? Do I
(11:10):
not have this on film? This is devastating. I know,
I know. So I'm like yelling loud enough, being like
get your fucking get the hell out of it. Whatever.
They wander out, we close.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You're not trying conversational at all. You're not like I
feel like I would just know and get the fu know.
I'm pure anger. I have the adrenaline surging. I'm like,
how the hell are they in here? What's going are they?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know? But then I'm again I'm also clocking, Okay,
they're not being like physically aggressive or anything like they're
they truly are so hammered. But I there's nothing worse
on earth than drunk people. Like it's just the scariest.
It's like like the last of us, like the zombies,
Like that's just alcoholism, like if it's all around, and
it's like and I'm just like so scared of them
(11:58):
because they're so out of their minds. And so I
immediately call the front desk and I'm like, Hi, there
are two drunk lawyers. Did you say lawyers? Because I
know they're from the ritual. I'm like, there are two
drunk men from the lawyer retreat. They're in our room.
They got in the guy's like, okay, lock your door, Like,
do you have any sense security? I was like, yes,
you do. Need to wait. Were they out yet? Were
they were they out? Yeah, they're out. They're out, closed
(12:19):
their door by the door, and I'm like, and you
call the hell did they get in here? Have the held?
And then and John was like was the door open?
Maybe the door was open. I was like, the door
was not open. I opened the door and closed it.
There's no fucking way that door was open. So I
call the front. I hear and then I hear one
of them outside the our key worked for your room
or something like, oh, how do we get in? So
there's an there's an identical lagoon cottage directly across.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay, Okay, I think, okay, this is so maybe the
lawyers becomes First of all, wait, don't forget their lawyers,
so watch their defense closely.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
What about you work? What about you work? So because
I'm still like, we can't. Oh, by the way, I'm like,
imagine being dead asleep and the door opens and they're
men in there. I mean, that's literally your life's run.
Can't sleep ever again. I mean, but the point is
they're gone, So I watch them. I go Okay they're in,
I go, so clearly at least cross the way that
(13:12):
is their room. But like, what the hell? They weren't
angry like I wasn't. I was like, okay, we're going
to sleep, sleep like a baby. But oh, I said
to John. So as soon as they left, I go,
this room is free, I say to John. And I'm
walking around. I'm walking around the room. So sure, I go.
If they think we are paying for this night?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Now, is your belief and tell me if this isn't
even coming into it, okay, but is your belief that
the key of the of men was the keys were
made in such a way that there's no security because
these other guys keys does open our door? Is that
what you'd be coming at the hotel with in your mind?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, I'm just kind of like, how is this possible?
But yeah, their keys work. That's if that's true, right,
that's insane, that's true. Yeah, Okay, anyway, you know, wake up,
have coffee, fucking breakfast on the lagoon, diving right into
the water from the room. What in about in the morning,
do you see the lawyers or anything?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I so I'm terrified. I've see the lawyers right,
And I was like, because I was like, John and
I are gonna be swimming all morning outside the lagoon,
and the lagoon if they come out and try to
talk to us, I'm going to be like, hey, hope
you're like. But then I'm also realizing, okay, this was
a mistake, like they weren't intruding, thinking it was his
suitcase isn't. But here's what I can't get over. Them
walking in and the one guy not leaving, not leaving.
(14:25):
That's where I'm like burning hell. There's a woman screaming
at you get the fuck out, and you're just standing
there and there you're just trying to argue the case. Yeah,
I mean he wasn't he but the one guy, you mean,
the less drunk, the more drunk guy. Now, the more
drunk guy wouldn't leave, and the other one did. Like that,
he left, like trying to get it here, the one
is in the doorway and I start screaming at him,
get your fucking guy, get him. And he's like he's like, oh,
(14:48):
whatever his name is, like, let's go right. I'm like, no, physically,
go get him right now, physically go get Did it
ever occurred to you and or did you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I'm not suggesting this, I'm just curious because my mind,
I'm putting myself in the segments to physically like push
his drunk body towards the door.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
So I didn't want to touch. No, So I didn't
want to touch at all. And I was waiting in
the door and I stimulate yeah, and I just like
even in the moment, I was like, he was so drunk,
he still wasn't fully leaving, and I had the urge
to kind of John said, he like put his hand
on his back kind of firmly to lead him out,
but didn't push. And I'm still like when it comes out,
(15:24):
I'm like, is he gonna like turn around and stock me? Like,
I just don't know, like he's because he's so fucking
x's in his eyes. Gosh, yeah, might as well be dead, right.
I'm like, anyway, in the beautiful glow of the morning,
I'm like, maybe we won't get the room free. Like
maybe No, Here's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What do you think or are you still wondering what
happened and why they got in? And are you dead
sure you closed the door? Yeah, because I would assume
knowing you, you're pretty fucking sure if you close the
door or not.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The door was closed and that is fully confirmed. The
door was completely closed. What do you think I'm entitled to?
Was there any follow up by the hotel in the morning? No,
that was checkout day. What do you feel, I mean,
how much outrage or is there not? Am I overreact?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Did you feel outrage at the hotel? Because do you
believe the key opened mine? Yes?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
And I felt I felt yeah, I guess at that
point I thought their key opened our door.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know, it would be an ugly I don't know
what this would prove or do. An ugly little thing
would be to switch your room key at the party.
So the lawyer switches his room key with yours, pulls
it out of your little purse, okay whatever, and then
uses that to get in your room and be like,
but my keywork. Look look no, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I know, like i'd be.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Like curious about like security care. I don't know, I
would be curious about what happened.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Okay. So we go to check out. Everyone's been lovely
that works there. It's been a great experience. And I
say to the woman at the front, did they talk
to you about what happened last night and she's like, no,
what happened? I tell her and she's like, oh, be honest,
she's not as horrified I would like her to be.
(17:00):
I was like, they were like drunk and like wouldn't
get out. We had to scream at them. I was like,
it was pretty awful. It was like pretty scary there.
When they first came in, it was like, you know,
she says, there's a thing because our cottages normally it's
like people are renting that whole area. So it's like, oh,
it's a bachelor weekend or whatever the fuck. So the
two villas the key word for both, that's and she
(17:21):
alerted you to that. She just admitted that, yes, Kate,
I'm in shock. That is absolute negligence. That is absolute.
That's insane. What do you? What do you?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
What is the primary responsibility? I throw a room with
a lot. So it's like, you don't pay for the room, you.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Know, So I said, I said, you pay for the
horror to leave, you know, I said, And she kind
of said that like she was like, I'll alert the
it people. I was like, yeah, and I can't because
she's so relaxed about it. I was like tea people.
Oh my god, yeah or something. And I was like,
WHOA and I and I you know, I just said,
is there anything you can do for us? I was like,
that's that seems pretty you know, crazy that their key
(18:07):
would work for a room. She goes, I'll be right back.
I hear on the phone she's talking to someone. Then
she comes back and she goes, I talk to our manager.
He's sincerely sorry. He wanted to give you. We're going
to take two of your dinners off the tab.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm sorry, Nope, this is bad enough that I don't
think God, you didn't get like, oh you didn't get
it in the moment right there, and I think you
still have recourse.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
This is insane, this fucking rules. I'm going to email
them today. I'm going to email them.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Today, like I want. I feel like they're because listener,
correct me if I'm wrong. In another guest's key doesn't
work for your exactly, it's the number one at a
roadside Moti also like there must I mean not to
but not to have to call the boys in Philly,
but like legally surely like to run hotel.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
There are certain like basic things.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay, actually it's an interesting idea, you should get the
Philly Boys themselves, you present you.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I know, we sue them. We could have assaulted her
in the courtroom. Well, by the way, that's almost the difference.
I'm like, if I had been if I had been alone,
I would have lost my fucking mind and I would
have Okay, so you're saying this is huge, jackman. So
you're saying I should email and say it just doesn't
(19:20):
sit right with me paying for that final Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Okay, No, it just doesn't sit right with you not
calling the cops, in my opinion, and taking massive legal
action final night. I mean, okay, there's a couple thoughts. One,
I've never taken legal action. Okay, I know nothing about
legal action. I'm I'm speaking nearly in the world.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I would never take whatever, like what happens if the.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Hotel has bad wiring in their room, okay, and a
minor fire started and they put it out, and it's
because they had bad wiring like that they installed. Because
here's the thing, it's not even accidental. It's like essentially
a policy.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I'm actually, as you're talking, I'm like, oh, we're not
paying for that Final Night, honey.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You keep saying final night, whole trip plus plus a
free one next year their sister property. Final Night, Kate,
what I'm trying to suggest to you is that you.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Were put in literal danger. Literal danger. I know, okay,
I know by the way, we could have John and
I could have been having sex. Look you know what
I'm just saying. Yeah, they came in twelfth thirte we
could have been about that. It wouldn't been the k
and under any circumstance, could have been naked, could have
been fucking, could have been asleep, could have been could
have been mid proposal, We could have been mid breakup.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well these are not again again, I go back to assault, Kate.
You're like, it's not about like we could have been
having the finest steak dinner of our lives. Okay, And
what about wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
By the way the lawyers say, the lawyers getting on
my side, we could have assaulted.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I mean, well, this is what you said the lawyer
boy was you had done to Philly?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Okay? Okay. And you roll in and you say, there's
two options.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You can either be dragged into this case as a witness,
or you can take the case and you'll fight your
goddamn right, you'll just fight your goddamn ass off to
get me a settlement.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Or I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
There's there's something, there's something poetic to be gleaned here.
But but to me, it's one thing. If there's negligence.
I mean I think it even goes more than negligence
because it's like systemic.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's how they so the key thing because what she
said was key, the key word for both. She goes,
you're staying on this part of the It's like, so, okay,
picture this the cottages. Right, there's one like big main
house that's between the two cottages. It was not occupied, No,
I get it. Us and the drunk guys had the
little front cottages. Yeah, so it's just always at those keys.
(21:46):
The keys should not work for other rooms to the
two flanks. Wait, so talk to me, talk to me,
talk to me. I mean, what would you do? So
I emailed there a safe in the room. Yeah. When
I say, and they're really pushing the safe. They were like,
lock up. I've never used this safe in a hotel
in my life. I know, like the safe is there,
and there was like you know, but I was like,
(22:07):
we're not responsible.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, no, and that but I point that out to
mean like like hotel rooms recognize the danger, like the
secondary level, which is like a key work for drunken
lawyers on Kate and John's room and they came in
in the night and the key is programmed that way.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
They explained it to me, and there was we had
to scream at them, scream at them to get out.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Because it's part of this area that normally people will rent,
like they'll rent all four cottages, okay. And so these
guys drunkenly stumbled into their room and they're like, the
key work, the key work, what do you mean this
is our room, that's my suitcase, okay. And the hotel
next morning is like, yeah, well actually the keys do
work for for.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Both of those. I actually was genuinely terrified it could
have been fully beaten up anything. Yeah, So tell Chris,
tell Chris we got two dinners. Calm two dinners? Because
is this when he's using the word unacceptable, I does
Chris think we should get a free night?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
So Kate is asking, does Chris think Kate John to
get a free night? There it is, but the whole
thing he said shocked. This Okay, Kay's obsessed with that night. Well,
well I wasn't almost assaulted the previous night. Yes you were,
Yes you were. They just happened not to stumble in
that night. Oh my god, I mean whatever to me,
it's not about like playing like the poog game about
(23:28):
free stays, because of course I am like, it's an
egregious safety failure.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
By the way. Imagine and I'm not going to do this.
Imagine if I go to yelp or even right here,
fuck Yelp, even here on Pooh, I go, hey, if
you stay at this place, other people have a katr robe. Yeah,
so enjoy enjoy, oh s gorgeous is amazing. But anyone
can get in there.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And get nerd and rape and murder you. Yeah, by design,
by policy, now it.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Can happen due to I'm sweating because I'm so excited
to so I'm basically I'm in the text. I'm scared
you're gonna what are you scared?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
No, Like, I'm almost like scared you're gonna go too
soft again, and like just be like, can we get
the cocktails free?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
To I just like, I know what should I say?
What I think I'm gonna say? Hi, we had a
beautiful stay. Blah blah blah, this happened. I'll talk about
how terrifying it was, but shit fucking was. And then
I'm just gonna say it just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Sit right with me, Like, see, it's still not quite there.
Way it is for me, I'm not sure what the
beautiful stay thing is all about for you at this point.
I mean, I guess is it because you want to
go back and you're hoping that they give you, like,
you know, a tower of pro federal with like.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
A cut at the top. So you say, you're saying
with a what almost happened last time? So okay, what
would you do if the hotel? What would you do
if you were me?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Well, I would probably google a little bit about what legally,
because if you think, you know, questions of when safety
has not been brought up before in a hotel, you know,
there's a world of stories out there. So it's sort
of like I'd probably google a little and just be like,
you know, the primary expectation of a motel six is
that you know, I'm not at home, but I can
stay somewhere where I can guarantee a roof over my
(25:08):
head that no one but me is the key to
it is the primary expectation of a hotel. And I
was alerted not that a glitch or some kind of
error of mere negligence that occurred, but that by design
and policy, the adjacent you know rooms had access to
(25:28):
my room for the entirety of this day. If I
had found that out, I would have been, you know,
really upset, like if nothing had happened. But I found
that out. However, I did find it out to find drunken,
profoundly drunken men had entered my room.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Using a key, would not leave, see like, because I
almost what I try to focus on afully confused. They
were right before it's funny. It's funny, like you know
and bye by the way by Jack Jaqueine Jockolate. I
left that their careers and lives could be ruined, if
you'd like, when I fucking your bet, I should take
my phone out and start filming them. That's a huge mistake, now,
too well, I know so, And this is further in
(26:10):
the confusion. When they were outside and they were talking
to the door, and I screamed, you better get the
fuck away from that door right now, because they were
out there and I and one of them, the lest
Jon que goes, can we just goes? Can we just
come inside and look for our back? Oh? He still
saw he still thought That's what I almost felt bad.
I was like, oh damn, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
See, this is actually where maybe you do. The lawyers
are not the villains here. Let's start with that. This
is where you and the lawyers you, John, You and
John and the lawyer boys team up, okay, and get
a settlement because.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Like, like what if you had you.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Know, they could argue that their their careers and lives
were almost ruined, because what if you had immediately pulled
out a camera and put them on TikTok going These
lawyers is from Philadelphia firm whatever kind of broke into
Arleigh barge into my room, and I I'm just saying like,
like it's very funny.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Okay, by the way, my adrenaline, I am so excited
to write this email.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I'm not actually joking about I'm actually thinking it might
be interesting to reach out to law firm.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Their law firm. No, I know, wait, listen, would you
when you're I'm not gonna do that, do that. I'm
not going to reference the law in my email, but listen.
If you were me, would you put in the email
something on the lines of being built for the stay
feels pretty egregious or would you just let them come
(27:39):
forward with it? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, I I I once heard someone say something like,
when we said I had an auto allergy, I was
delivered or not in a cocktail. Oh yeah, and had
an immediately allergic reaction, ran to the store or whatever.
And the end of the meal when they try to
take the round of drinks off the ones that had
(28:01):
the nut in the drink.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Okay, Yeah, are you already composing the email psychopaths?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Okay because you're afraid of losing the words that just
came to you that you feel are the golden ticket. Okay,
need to breathe and realize that, like I'm not going
to forget, Like I'm only going to get better.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
As the you're gonna okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
But I I heard the person who was dining with
say something like, I was shocked when the bill came out.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I assumed, in no way was I going to pay
for this meal.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yeah, I was astounded when I was handed a bill
and by putting it through that way, the manager was like,
oh shit, you're right.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Like basically it was like, you're right.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And then a reader for this and this is where
we differ or where you know the people I was
with and I think you might differ, okay, is that
is that he goes, we are absolutely paying for the meal.
This is not about like I'm not gonna be the
asshole doesn't like, we're we're paying for the entire meal
and we were even if you wouldn't let us, would
be tipping the wait staff, you know, heartily.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
He's like, we're paying for the meal. Like, but I
just want you to know. I was completely shocked that
a bill came ooh.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
There it is, and.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
And they're going, no, no, we'd really like to comp
the meal. You are absolutely right, and we'd really like
to comp to the meal. Comp the meal, and the
person was absolutely not, no, we're paying, and I'm going
can we yeah, like because like you know, I was
paying for the meal like whatever, Like it was hysterical
that one person who's like making the big scene is
like still like it opting for all of us that know,
(29:41):
in fact we will pay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
But setting aside trying to get it for free or whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I actually don't think the answer lies and talking about
how terrified you were and all that, okay, because to me,
that's that's like it's like if if someone breaks into
your house, if someone does something like blatantly illegal mm hmm,
you don't have to claim terror for it to have
been illegal.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Do you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It almost makes it like you're trying to seek emotional
damages for something that was kind of vaguely like to me,
all of the as you can imagine, this was very
disturbing or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
It's a little bit like it's like it's like suggests
you think you don't have a case. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
as though you don't have a case. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
And to me, it's just like I would never pay
a single dollar to stay in a hotel where I
didn't have a room that locked, that's all you can say.
Or that gave access to my room to strangers or
whatever you want to say. Yeah, I mean, and also
maybe you don't care and who gives a shit, And
it's like it's funny and egregious and maybe you're kind.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Of like I don't even hate the hotel. I don't
hate the hotel. That's why I'm like, because I don't
hate the hotel, and I even have the thing of like, well,
I don't want to cause a fuss, and why not.
We're on the boat. They're talking about, Oh, Justin Bieber
and Jimmy Fallon come here. I'm like, really, you're pretty
sure Jimmy and Justin wouldn't want anyone to have a
(31:03):
key to their fucking room to come in the very
least have a glimpse of their wife's tits, at the
bare minimum, at the very least.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I mean, there's nothing more dangerous in this world than
a pack and a pack of drunken Philly lawyers on fag.
They can disappear body and worse, on a work vacation,
they're not there with their family.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
They do a huddle in the morning. How do we
do this? Yeah, my body is sent down the lagoon,
into the open ocean, into the Caribbean sea. Never like, wow, okay,
well this is now a lot.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Usually it's like a series of errors where you could
be really pissed that a series of errors. They didn't
do this, they didn't do this, and you just go,
I'm really disappointed overall, because every step of the way,
you know, these things happen and I could have been killed, right,
that kind of thing. This is not that, this is
the most what is the most If you had to
come up with the most egregious, you know, just just
(32:01):
blatant fuck up, you could have What more? Could it
be that they rented out the space under your bed
for someone and didn't tell you.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It's as close as that, So we'll see. I can't
wait to draft this fucking.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I'm gonna consult my friend who yes, because I first
of all with nut allergy, even though I said I
have nut allergy and I was knowing.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
John, John's gonna go leave it alone. I think John's
gonna go leave it alone. I'm gonna go. I don't
know about that.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, there is the thing with where it's not just
you paying, like it's like it's not just something you
bought for the two of you.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It's like you both paying.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
So it's this weird thing where you're almost like, you know,
it's sort of both.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Of your names being dragged with the mud.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I also, you know, don't pay twice, right, like like
I don't count energy. Discussing on poog as failed energy.
This is conversation because listen, here's what it is. I'm
not going to get into a back and forth. I
have no urge to like like, I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Three lines.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I think it should be free. I think we should
be refunded. It's three lines. I think we should be refunded.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
For this day.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Other guests had access to my room the entire time,
unknowingly to me and ultimately knowingly when the worst thing
that could possibly happen, a group of drunken men force
their way into into our room. We're lucky that violence
didn't occur. You're lucky the violence didn't occur. I could
have taken out of a fucking knife and you could
have taken on a gun and shot them, Okay, and
(33:26):
then they'd be dead when it wasn't even their fault.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I know, violence could have occurred. Such a fucking good point.
So violence was narrowly escaped. Yep, Okay, Well this is
we got a log off. But this is a bonus
pooh law my god, imagine I'll be represented by pooge
(33:49):
power suits, nine inch sheels. They march in. Oh my god.
So wait. I texted John. By the way, I'm Emilion
the hotel. We're getting more money off with your blessing
more money up.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You're hysterically you're softening it for John Can You're just
saying saying, except John thinks.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
I'm like John thinks. I always think I'm being robbed.
I know, Jacqueline whole stays free. Jacqueline, thanks the whole stay.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
They're lucky violence didn't occur. I'm not saying to devote
your lives to it. I'm not saying I'm not gonna
lose sleep.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I'm not going to engage in a big I don't
want to fight, but I'm gonna write an email. Just go.
You know what. I was shocked to receive the bill. Yes,
just run it past me. Okay, I don't need any
softening language. I'm definitely running it past for you kidding me, so, Jacqueline,
(34:51):
we hang up. All of a sudden, I get a call.
Call comes in. It's from Jamaica. Wait did it say
the word Jamaica? Yep? Wow. Did any part of you
go I'll let them leave a message I'm scared. Yes,
and then I went just answer, you're an adult. Just
you sent the email. The woman on the phone was
lovely extended her apologies, said she's following up with her
(35:15):
operations manager and kind of gave it to me straight.
I rehashed what happened, and I have to say I
said to her, I said, you know, if this had
been a glitch, and she would yeah, it was a glitch.
I went, wasn't a glitch. It's not a fucking glitch.
But I talked to them and I was told that
their keys worked for art real, which is like a fantasy.
It wasn't a glitch. And again, it wasn't a glitch
(35:36):
because I was told that their keys worked anyway. Yeah,
the point is, and she God bless her for this.
She kind of was like, shoot straight, she was like,
what do you want, which, by the way, I'll just
say listen, and I appreciate Jacqueline your you fucking asshole.
You're already mad, and I am. I was literally scared
(35:59):
to ask, so listen. No, oh my god, So I
said the term great reduction.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
No no, no, no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
No no no.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
This couldn't be worse. Well, no, it's my email for
about non violence. Okay, okay, hold on.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I know, listen. I was two, Okay, great reduction. Okay,
let's just all right.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I don't know everything in this world, okay, but I've
watched enough TV to understand that when someone says what
do you want?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
What do you want? You go up and then they
bring you down. Maybe they don't even bring you down.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
They're basically they're basically saying, we want this to end.
It's like, yeah, stunned, Kate, I cannot laughing at myself,
like who I've becot've become.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I'm still I'm looking at the rain falling outside. I'm
going Wow.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
The fact that the words, it's like, either it's egregious
or it's not.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
God, damn it. What do you want? Kay? I wish
I had the technology to have made your voice sound
like my voice, as if it would have mattered. I
needed someone else to do it. I needed a broker.
I needed a discount broker. I needed someone to go
into there and the word discount, Well, this is the thing,
this is why I want to go in there. Calls.
I think the entire stay should be because it's hard
on the phone. I am as hard. Yeah, it's hard
(37:21):
on the phone.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Text language is a place where it feels like that's
where you can state what you believe and not in
desperation to establish report at all costs, which happens during
live conversation, starts softening it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
That's why I value email and so and so. I said,
I want the last night for you.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Oh no, no, no, wait, what happened to rate reduction?
I'm just I'm just you go rate reduction? And then
dot dot dot said production. She wasn't yeah, and then
it was kind of like, okay, what it was like?
It was a blur jocolate. I was alone, and I
was scared. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'm literally considering by the number I call. Sure. Well,
here's the thing, Jacqueline. She didn't say, all right, the
last night's free. She went, I'm going to talk to
operations talk about the refund. I went, thank you. You know,
I'm concerned with being friendly, perceived as nice. You know.
I start cowering. There she goes, and she said, and this,
(38:16):
I thought, it's a little pold What was your cara,
No me not asking for the whole stay to be camped,
which I do. So okay, I thought you.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Were said like, then you launched into a thing about
how beautiful resort it is.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I did say how beautiful the resort was. No, you
worked that in. I said, everyone that was there was
so wonderful, the hospitality was great. So this is after
you've asked. Now you're trying to like pat it landing
sweeten it. And then and then she said, she said,
and this is my email for future stays or if
your friends want to come. I thought that's interesting. So
(38:45):
to her, it's everything is all and well, I don't know,
I am considering just giving giving you the number.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
All right, let's let's just play this through. She goes,
this is someone else. Well, I wasn't even suggesting. I
pretend I'm you.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh damn, who do you? Who are you? My associated?
My business associated? Well, I considered that or wild transparency.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You say i'm her friend and podcast I'm sorry, I
just overheard half of a conversation, and I cannot allow this.
The request that my friend doesn't have the courage to
ask for but is absolutely required, is a full refund it.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
This is outrageous. Keep going, I'm getting so turned on.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Like I mean, I guess like it's as simple as like,
I'm going to continue to make this a problem until
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I don't know, I don't know, I just I don't know. Wow,
I don't know so much. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's no, I'm really wrestling with all the questions because
I'm going I'm wrestling too the fact that after our
hard work, well, of.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Course you did. I mean, I mean, after the drafting
of the of the email tells me what do you want?
She knows what she's got on her hands. She just
got a little tuble maker. What's a free ride? Were you?
It's it's so interesting. Did she say want? I think
she said what can I do for you? What can
I do for you? But a couple of times, I mean, yeah,
(40:16):
I forget an the email?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Did we would we say, I think there's camp the
whole stay should be refunded?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Or was it I said, I was shocked to receive
a full bill? A bill, full full bill? Did you? Sorry?
Little I did in detail? Have you made any I
didn't makes I didn't make any edit. Just looking to
see here it is here it is upon reflection, Yeah,
you said full honey, upon reflection, I'm shocked to receive
(40:43):
a full bill for our stay.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Oh right, right, I see how it could be interpreted
both ways. Okay, what I meant was yeah, full refund
and yeah, that's not clear. I guess, I guess there's
a few moves here. Okay, did she give you her info?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah? I have her email and I have her number,
I have her name. I know her name. I booked
through her. I booked to stay with her exhaustive thread
because I was booking to like three days before arrival,
so it's really intense. I was trying to get the
you know, the least expensive thing and figuring it out.
She already, she already knows. Well, here's what's not in
my favor. Two things. One I was really trying to go, Okay, well,
(41:18):
this one's the least expensive. Will split on this, you
know what I mean. You're haggling from the start. I
had to openly not hagg an. I'm trying to get
the best. I'm trying to stay there for the cheap
and the cheapest way, right, And that's clear the whole time.
And then this doesn't help. This is not good. This
is not good. In a moment of mania, I sent
I sent her your account down, I sent her the
Poog preskit, and I said, is there any kind of
(41:38):
media rate? You know, we talked about travel a lot
on the podcast, never even acknowledged it, acknowledged it because
celebsco there all the time. They don't ask for free shit,
so they're like, I'm not going to give it. They're
not going to give a free ride to Justin Bieber.
They're not going to give me a goddamn discount.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Right, Although I feel like that model doesn't totally hold
because the micro's value, you know, blah blah blah. But well,
it's interesting that the podcast piece was mentioned, because then
doesn't she know that.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
I'm going crazy on the cast? Yeah, what does that do?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I know this, we need like what happened, So you
don't even get the confirmation. It's just it's I got
to ask the manager. Just going back to the operations director,
they're going to talk about it. This is pathetic. Oh god, no,
I just mean that, like, I mean, I find it.
I don't know, Okay, I know this is I'm really
I mean, it's I keep wanting to go like it's
(42:41):
not about the money or something. I don't even know
what I'm trying to say. I think it's just maybe
just shoot off an email.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
You go.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Look, I always got on the phone and I got
I got, I got panicked on the phone. I really
think the state should be camped entirely, and and and
I cannot recommend this before, buddy, if you don't take
responsibility for damn you know.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Okay, let's get to you firing off another draft. I
don't know why I'm fighting this. I want you to
fight it because I don't know why I'm fighting this
so hard. Freestay, are you kidding? You're fucking kidding. I'm
just shocked because here's the thing, Like, you're like the
cold hearted bitch I love when you call me that.
I know. Where is she now? Okay?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I don't know what the answer is here. Yeah, I
don't know what principles apply. I don't know who we
want to be in this world.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I am only devastated that you took a particular stance
and then retracted.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Well guess what, here's what's in our favor, sweetheart, It
was the phone. Nothing's in writing. There she is? Okay,
there she is. I want you to know that I
loved you. If you draft up another no, if you
(44:01):
dropt up another sent from the law Offices of Jacqueline
Novak email, I will absolutely send that through the phone.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Call is in the wind right, I was distracted, not
on paper, so you don't even have to acknowledge what
was or wasn't discussed on phone call.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Don't put don't create a paper trail there, genius, genius. Okay,
you just say, hey, you could acknowledge that phone call.
Appreciate you calling me.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, appreciate you calling me. You asked me what you
can do for me given this situation. There it is,
I think the stay should be camped like, I think
that's the right thing to do. It will make it
so that I want to come back to your resort
in the future and recommend each other. That's what's necessary
to feel that you guys take this seriously, and then
I can happily come back to this resort and recommend it.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And then you drop the poog press kit again. That's
ajust really good. And you know you also say, and
I hope that it will be remedied. Remedied so the
keys only work for the person. Yeah, okay, draw it up.
It's going out. Brought up, it's going out. After some
back and forth on email, I was able to secure
a one night refund Jacqueline's desire to get the full
(45:11):
stay refunded. I admire that I was unable to secure that.
But the one night was on the house that was pooh.
If you enjoyed Poop, please subscribe, rate and review. If not,
we will press charges. I myself have been asked would
(45:36):
I return. I don't know the answer. I don't know
the answer, and therein lies the continued persistent mystery of life.
Really Bye,
Hi, I'm Kate Berlance, I'm Jacqueline Novak. And this is Poog,
an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends, two
untamable intellects. This is our hobby, This is our hell,
This is our naked desire for free products. This is
Poog readings.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Listeners, this week you will be experiencing a curation, a collage, what.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Many would call a remix. This is a kind of
let's become, sort of a classic Poog tale from the archive,
which is the Jamaica break In, So please enjoy it
in Jamaica. So the final night, John and night. And
by the way, beautiful bar again you said that the hotelification,
the bar overlooking the ocean beautiful, not hotelified, just very again,
(00:48):
just romantic, not fussy, really really pretty. Okay. The point
is final night. We're leaving dinner. We hear incredible music playing.
We're like, what's going on? Like where is this band
coming from? We stumble upon what is clearly a private party.
There's a long table and there are like fifteen so
(01:09):
we had heard from because of course we made friends
with Don, who took us out, you know, snorkeling and
he was like, oh, there's these there are lawyers. He's
don donkey hotel or a guest sorry hotel. Okay, so
what the point is? It was like, I have some
lawyers staying here. We clocked the lawyers, we've been tracking them.
We go, we stumbled upon what is a private lawyer?
(01:29):
We can charm their asses? Well, the band fucking rules, okay,
talking seven piece band, and the lawyers aren't dance sing
as you can imagine. They're by the bar getting hammered.
You know, it's like all these it's like these like men,
these like a little sweat on the back of an
overly long show shoulders, like white guys Like yeah, you know,
(01:50):
I go, John, we're crashing this party. Of course we
go in. We start dancing from the heart. Again, We're
not dancing because it's like, oh, we're dancing because we're
fucking moved by the fucking and.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
What did you see someone catch a glimpse their eye
kind of over their buddies shoulder.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, a few people start looking at us because but
it's not a big party. I want to be clear,
twenty people, amazing small party. John and I clearly don't belong.
Very risky, highly risky people are looking over at us.
We're dancing. The band goes, this is our last song,
and it's that thing too where it's like, oh no,
like they're used to performing for tourists, so it's like
a reggae like and they're playing like you know, every
(02:30):
little thing is going to be all right right or something,
and I was like, no, that can't be it no
more more more. Were you actually calling that out? I'm
calling it out, don't stop. So one of the guys,
of course, one of the gay lawyers, came up to
us and like, are you guys those comedians or whatever.
We're like yeah. So then I start chatting him up
and I go listen, the band cannot be done. You
(02:52):
need to tell your boss to like add a couple
more hours to the fucking thing. Or I watch this
happen in real class, sweetie. Okay, sorry exactly. I watched
this partner with a cigar in his hand. Something created,
A little negotiation happens. They start playing the gay lawyer
is not no, the gaylor is not the part guard.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
To be clear, Yeah, this other guy's spoken to the cigar.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting too excited. I'm forgetting the order.
I'm getting into the order. Okay. So the gay guys like,
I'm like, you gotta tell your boss to get the
band to play more because it was like ten o'clock.
I'm like, they can't be done. This is you know,
I am by the bar cigar man lawyer. I hear
you guys are comedians, right, and I'm like, yeah, we
start trying to go. You gotta get he goes. We're
(03:34):
you know, we're a law firm in Philadelphia. By the way,
this like hammered drunk and this is so we'll come later.
This hammer drunk lawyer comes over to me or the
best law room in the world. No, no, no, this is
too much. Okay, okay, drunk out of his fucking mind leaves.
I'm talking to the lawyer and it's got the cigar
at one point and then the but you were in
(03:59):
those else. I'm wearing my target. So again, I want
to be clear, when did jamake it from New York?
All I had were winter boots and winter coats. I
had this only winter gear. I emergency ran to Target,
which is where you go when you have a trip.
Two swimsuits, flip flop and the only places everything all
year long, and honey, it was dead winter thirty percent.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Off, and the Exhilaration brand continues to surprise and delight
every season.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's all all I know is I had the only
thing I needed for my trip. So I'm wearing but okay,
but the partner is talking to me. He's got a cigar.
He goes, this bother, you a cigar? I go, No,
I go, and where I go. It reminds me of
my childhood. Oh my god, he goes, oh, did your
dad smoke his cigar? I was like no, but his
friend used to I'm like, ew I know, No, No,
(04:44):
I loving what am I doing? No? No, he was okay,
and John and I both felt he was flirting with
both of us. We're like, We're like, wait, He's like there, okay, yeah, okay,
I'm sure. So I'm like, we got to get the
band to play more. I watched him go over talk
to the leads singer, they work it out, they start playing.
I go over to the bar and I go, I
want seven beers for the band right now. Oh my god, okay,
(05:06):
you're not getting them beers. And I carry over red
stripes to the bands. So fun on the company tak.
Needless to say, I know they start drinking beer? Was
on the company tab?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Wait, hold on, yes, yes, it's on the company tap.
Did you say it's on the company tab? Did you
know it was just happening by virtue.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Of I just knew. I knew that it was a
private party. I knew that.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You just asked the bartender it's a twenty person party,
and he sees that you've been talking to the partner.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I had a tequila soda on the company Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no,
I'm in. I'm in. What are they going to do? Hey,
you can't have drinks here? No, no, no, not after
we're dancing and making them experienced.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Literally the entire reason they came on, the entire reason
they came on the vacation is spontaneously. Sometimes you have
to be for someone else, the entire reason they came
on the vacation. You have to actually serve that up
a lot in life. Oh, I mean, if you're if
we're port you know.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Hm, so I so, I I go over, I give
them beers and I'm like, I want to hear what
you guys want to play? Oh my god, Kate, they
always don't play anything. I'm like, I know, but like,
what do you guys like. I'm just like, I'm sure.
They start to fucking Oh my god, crank it out.
I'm on my knees at one point, dancing so hard.
I'm feeling it so hard. I'm on my knee. The
finest story, and I want to be clear that the
(06:19):
ocean is at night crashing. My god, we're on the beach.
The music is unbelievable, cool sand. We're getting down so hard.
I and then and by the way, people are starting
to dance. Suddenly some of the lawyers are starting to dance.
Oh my god. Then it goes even further, and I go,
what do you guys want? You want to shot the
band again? Yeah? They go, yeah, we'll like tequila shots.
(06:41):
I go to bargle, Hey, I'd like to buy, and
I'd like to buy because but I was just like,
can we get some tequila shots for the band? I
watched them open a brand new bottle of Patron and
they pour thick, heavy shots holiday holiday poor shots. I
take them over the band. I just want to say
that it was a joy to buy tequila for the
band on the company card or dancing having a great time.
(07:02):
Everything's great. The partners like, oh, if you're ever in Philadelphia,
forever in Philadelphia, we'll represent you. Yeah. John of course
was like, I'm trying to sue someone in Philadelphia and
the guy thought it was real.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Of course, Oh my god, like, no, we're joking because
guess what, I thought it was real when you just
said it. Despite John constantly telling lies, okay as gags,
I believe every single one.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, yeah, Well, the same thing happened. We were talking about
one of the lawyers and the lawyer was like, what
do you like, what's up with you guys? And John
was like, we're here with our kids. Oh my god, well, no,
it's not real, but they think it's real, you know,
just it's constant, okay, So the point is he's not
a control. Finally, the band closes. Finally the band really
does end incredible set.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And you were like, that's the perfect time. In the end,
You're like, that was the perfect time to end. I
couldn't have danced a single Moore if he they played
one more song that.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Would run so great night John and Knight's our final night.
And we're like remarked, We're like we cannot believe that
the night ended with that, like the trip ended with that,
(08:11):
just unbelievable. We go back to our room. We're sharing
this room. It's around twelve thirty. I hear all of
a sudden, wait, wait, you know, so it's scarier. So okay,
So we're in this unbelievable lagoon cottage on the water. Yes,
fucking psychotic. Okay, it's the nicest Pice've ever stayed. And
(08:32):
we're in there and we hear something. We're brushing our
teeth together, his and her sayings, and we hear like
something that is enough to make us both kind of
turn around and go, h what was that? And it
kind of kind of ooh, a little scary, like, oh,
you know, is it a fucking like animal? Like what
the hell? So we hear that, we're kind of scared.
Then we immediately dissolved. We're brushing our teeth. John goes
(08:54):
into the bedroom. Aria, I'm in the bathroom, and I
hear I hear John say, whoa, oh you guys. I
go in. Two drunk lawyers are standing in our wait no, no, no, no.
My adrenaline shoots through the roof. Two drunk men in
the room here to clearly rape and murder. I start
(09:16):
to scream. I don't scream. I go get the fuck
out of it. What the hell? John goes out.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
First you're still in the bathroom, and then you hear
John say, guys.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
John, I'm in the bathroom. But it's like one open.
I hear John go. I heard John as if a
puppy has wandered in. I heard John say like, well,
you guys, like, what are you doing here? I go in.
So they entered a fear at the door they entered.
They entered.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
So they're standing John, he's not at the door, and
people have kind of argued that walked in.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They've already walked in Hurley Shane guys. So John really
is like, guys, I was like, okay, so give me,
let's give it. Give it to me for real. I say,
what the hell? And I'm like and one of them,
so one of them is the guy best from in
the world, the super hammered guy, and then a less
hammered but still very hammered guy. The very hammered guy
(10:05):
is walking in and he's fully in. The other guy
still kind of lingering around the doorway, and they're like,
this is our room, this is my room. I go,
this is not your room. They're like, this is our room,
and I'm like, this is not your fucking room. I
was like, you need to get the hell out of
here right now, and I walk outside. I encourage them
to get outside and to be in more public space. Yeah,
and just because I'm I didn't feel I soon realized like, Okay,
(10:27):
they're not being aggressive drunk. They're actually so hammered and
I think they actually are confused, like something's going on
that I don't understand. But this is the scariest thing
in the world and there's a good chance they are
staying in a lagoon room. Yeah, I don't feel the
need to scream, like but because it's also the resort,
it's small. It's like if I were to scream, everyone
would here or whatever. But this one guy won't get
(10:49):
the fuck out of here. And he's like, this is
my suitcase. That is not your suitcase. It's our John
saying going to like is John John not protecting? I peacocked.
I was pumping. I was like you, and I was
like you, Like the masculine energy switch got turned and
I was like, get the if that hell? Do I
(11:10):
not have this on film? This is devastating. I know,
I know. So I'm like yelling loud enough, being like
get your fucking get the hell out of it. Whatever.
They wander out, we close.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
You're not trying conversational at all. You're not like I
feel like I would just know and get the fu know.
I'm pure anger. I have the adrenaline surging. I'm like,
how the hell are they in here? What's going are they?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know? But then I'm again I'm also clocking, Okay,
they're not being like physically aggressive or anything like they're
they truly are so hammered. But I there's nothing worse
on earth than drunk people. Like it's just the scariest.
It's like like the last of us, like the zombies,
Like that's just alcoholism, like if it's all around, and
it's like and I'm just like so scared of them
(11:58):
because they're so out of their minds. And so I
immediately call the front desk and I'm like, Hi, there
are two drunk lawyers. Did you say lawyers? Because I
know they're from the ritual. I'm like, there are two
drunk men from the lawyer retreat. They're in our room.
They got in the guy's like, okay, lock your door, Like,
do you have any sense security? I was like, yes,
you do. Need to wait. Were they out yet? Were
they were they out? Yeah, they're out. They're out, closed
(12:19):
their door by the door, and I'm like, and you
call the hell did they get in here? Have the held?
And then and John was like was the door open?
Maybe the door was open. I was like, the door
was not open. I opened the door and closed it.
There's no fucking way that door was open. So I
call the front. I hear and then I hear one
of them outside the our key worked for your room
or something like, oh, how do we get in? So
there's an there's an identical lagoon cottage directly across.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Okay, Okay, I think, okay, this is so maybe the
lawyers becomes First of all, wait, don't forget their lawyers,
so watch their defense closely.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
What about you work? What about you work? So because
I'm still like, we can't. Oh, by the way, I'm like,
imagine being dead asleep and the door opens and they're
men in there. I mean, that's literally your life's run.
Can't sleep ever again. I mean, but the point is
they're gone, So I watch them. I go Okay they're in,
I go, so clearly at least cross the way that
(13:12):
is their room. But like, what the hell? They weren't
angry like I wasn't. I was like, okay, we're going
to sleep, sleep like a baby. But oh, I said
to John. So as soon as they left, I go,
this room is free, I say to John. And I'm
walking around. I'm walking around the room. So sure, I go.
If they think we are paying for this night?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Now, is your belief and tell me if this isn't
even coming into it, okay, but is your belief that
the key of the of men was the keys were
made in such a way that there's no security because
these other guys keys does open our door? Is that
what you'd be coming at the hotel with in your mind?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, I'm just kind of like, how is this possible?
But yeah, their keys work. That's if that's true, right,
that's insane, that's true. Yeah, Okay, anyway, you know, wake up,
have coffee, fucking breakfast on the lagoon, diving right into
the water from the room. What in about in the morning,
do you see the lawyers or anything?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I so I'm terrified. I've see the lawyers right,
And I was like, because I was like, John and
I are gonna be swimming all morning outside the lagoon,
and the lagoon if they come out and try to
talk to us, I'm going to be like, hey, hope
you're like. But then I'm also realizing, okay, this was
a mistake, like they weren't intruding, thinking it was his
suitcase isn't. But here's what I can't get over. Them
walking in and the one guy not leaving, not leaving.
(14:25):
That's where I'm like burning hell. There's a woman screaming
at you get the fuck out, and you're just standing
there and there you're just trying to argue the case. Yeah,
I mean he wasn't he but the one guy, you mean,
the less drunk, the more drunk guy. Now, the more
drunk guy wouldn't leave, and the other one did. Like that,
he left, like trying to get it here, the one
is in the doorway and I start screaming at him,
get your fucking guy, get him. And he's like he's like, oh,
(14:48):
whatever his name is, like, let's go right. I'm like, no, physically,
go get him right now, physically go get Did it
ever occurred to you and or did you.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I'm not suggesting this, I'm just curious because my mind,
I'm putting myself in the segments to physically like push
his drunk body towards the door.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
So I didn't want to touch. No, So I didn't
want to touch at all. And I was waiting in
the door and I stimulate yeah, and I just like
even in the moment, I was like, he was so drunk,
he still wasn't fully leaving, and I had the urge
to kind of John said, he like put his hand
on his back kind of firmly to lead him out,
but didn't push. And I'm still like when it comes out,
(15:24):
I'm like, is he gonna like turn around and stock me? Like,
I just don't know, like he's because he's so fucking
x's in his eyes. Gosh, yeah, might as well be dead, right.
I'm like, anyway, in the beautiful glow of the morning,
I'm like, maybe we won't get the room free. Like
maybe No, Here's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What do you think or are you still wondering what
happened and why they got in? And are you dead
sure you closed the door? Yeah, because I would assume
knowing you, you're pretty fucking sure if you close the
door or not.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The door was closed and that is fully confirmed. The
door was completely closed. What do you think I'm entitled to?
Was there any follow up by the hotel in the morning? No,
that was checkout day. What do you feel, I mean,
how much outrage or is there not? Am I overreact?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Did you feel outrage at the hotel? Because do you
believe the key opened mine? Yes?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
And I felt I felt yeah, I guess at that
point I thought their key opened our door.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know, it would be an ugly I don't know
what this would prove or do. An ugly little thing
would be to switch your room key at the party.
So the lawyer switches his room key with yours, pulls
it out of your little purse, okay whatever, and then
uses that to get in your room and be like,
but my keywork. Look look no, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I know, like i'd be.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Like curious about like security care. I don't know, I
would be curious about what happened.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Okay. So we go to check out. Everyone's been lovely
that works there. It's been a great experience. And I
say to the woman at the front, did they talk
to you about what happened last night and she's like, no,
what happened? I tell her and she's like, oh, be honest,
she's not as horrified I would like her to be.
(17:00):
I was like, they were like drunk and like wouldn't
get out. We had to scream at them. I was like,
it was pretty awful. It was like pretty scary there.
When they first came in, it was like, you know,
she says, there's a thing because our cottages normally it's
like people are renting that whole area. So it's like, oh,
it's a bachelor weekend or whatever the fuck. So the
two villas the key word for both, that's and she
(17:21):
alerted you to that. She just admitted that, yes, Kate,
I'm in shock. That is absolute negligence. That is absolute.
That's insane. What do you? What do you?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
What is the primary responsibility? I throw a room with
a lot. So it's like, you don't pay for the room, you.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Know, So I said, I said, you pay for the
horror to leave, you know, I said, And she kind
of said that like she was like, I'll alert the
it people. I was like, yeah, and I can't because
she's so relaxed about it. I was like tea people.
Oh my god, yeah or something. And I was like,
WHOA and I and I you know, I just said,
is there anything you can do for us? I was like,
that's that seems pretty you know, crazy that their key
(18:07):
would work for a room. She goes, I'll be right back.
I hear on the phone she's talking to someone. Then
she comes back and she goes, I talk to our manager.
He's sincerely sorry. He wanted to give you. We're going
to take two of your dinners off the tab.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm sorry, Nope, this is bad enough that I don't
think God, you didn't get like, oh you didn't get
it in the moment right there, and I think you
still have recourse.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
This is insane, this fucking rules. I'm going to email
them today. I'm going to email them.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Today, like I want. I feel like they're because listener,
correct me if I'm wrong. In another guest's key doesn't
work for your exactly, it's the number one at a
roadside Moti also like there must I mean not to
but not to have to call the boys in Philly,
but like legally surely like to run hotel.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
There are certain like basic things.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay, actually it's an interesting idea, you should get the
Philly Boys themselves, you present you.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I know, we sue them. We could have assaulted her
in the courtroom. Well, by the way, that's almost the difference.
I'm like, if I had been if I had been alone,
I would have lost my fucking mind and I would
have Okay, so you're saying this is huge, jackman. So
you're saying I should email and say it just doesn't
(19:20):
sit right with me paying for that final Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Okay, No, it just doesn't sit right with you not
calling the cops, in my opinion, and taking massive legal
action final night. I mean, okay, there's a couple thoughts. One,
I've never taken legal action. Okay, I know nothing about
legal action. I'm I'm speaking nearly in the world.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I would never take whatever, like what happens if the.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Hotel has bad wiring in their room, okay, and a
minor fire started and they put it out, and it's
because they had bad wiring like that they installed. Because
here's the thing, it's not even accidental. It's like essentially
a policy.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I'm actually, as you're talking, I'm like, oh, we're not
paying for that Final Night, honey.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You keep saying final night, whole trip plus plus a
free one next year their sister property. Final Night, Kate,
what I'm trying to suggest to you is that you.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Were put in literal danger. Literal danger. I know, okay,
I know by the way, we could have John and
I could have been having sex. Look you know what
I'm just saying. Yeah, they came in twelfth thirte we
could have been about that. It wouldn't been the k
and under any circumstance, could have been naked, could have
been fucking, could have been asleep, could have been could
have been mid proposal, We could have been mid breakup.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well these are not again again, I go back to assault, Kate.
You're like, it's not about like we could have been
having the finest steak dinner of our lives. Okay, And
what about wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
By the way the lawyers say, the lawyers getting on
my side, we could have assaulted.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
I mean, well, this is what you said the lawyer
boy was you had done to Philly?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Okay? Okay. And you roll in and you say, there's
two options.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You can either be dragged into this case as a witness,
or you can take the case and you'll fight your
goddamn right, you'll just fight your goddamn ass off to
get me a settlement.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Or I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
There's there's something, there's something poetic to be gleaned here.
But but to me, it's one thing. If there's negligence.
I mean I think it even goes more than negligence
because it's like systemic.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's how they so the key thing because what she
said was key, the key word for both. She goes,
you're staying on this part of the It's like, so, okay,
picture this the cottages. Right, there's one like big main
house that's between the two cottages. It was not occupied, No,
I get it. Us and the drunk guys had the
little front cottages. Yeah, so it's just always at those keys.
(21:46):
The keys should not work for other rooms to the
two flanks. Wait, so talk to me, talk to me,
talk to me. I mean, what would you do? So
I emailed there a safe in the room. Yeah. When
I say, and they're really pushing the safe. They were like,
lock up. I've never used this safe in a hotel
in my life. I know, like the safe is there,
and there was like you know, but I was like,
(22:07):
we're not responsible.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, no, and that but I point that out to
mean like like hotel rooms recognize the danger, like the
secondary level, which is like a key work for drunken
lawyers on Kate and John's room and they came in
in the night and the key is programmed that way.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
They explained it to me, and there was we had
to scream at them, scream at them to get out.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Because it's part of this area that normally people will rent,
like they'll rent all four cottages, okay. And so these
guys drunkenly stumbled into their room and they're like, the
key work, the key work, what do you mean this
is our room, that's my suitcase, okay. And the hotel
next morning is like, yeah, well actually the keys do
work for for.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Both of those. I actually was genuinely terrified it could
have been fully beaten up anything. Yeah, So tell Chris,
tell Chris we got two dinners. Calm two dinners? Because
is this when he's using the word unacceptable, I does
Chris think we should get a free night?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
So Kate is asking, does Chris think Kate John to
get a free night? There it is, but the whole
thing he said shocked. This Okay, Kay's obsessed with that night. Well,
well I wasn't almost assaulted the previous night. Yes you were,
Yes you were. They just happened not to stumble in
that night. Oh my god, I mean whatever to me,
it's not about like playing like the poog game about
(23:28):
free stays, because of course I am like, it's an
egregious safety failure.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
By the way. Imagine and I'm not going to do this.
Imagine if I go to yelp or even right here,
fuck Yelp, even here on Pooh, I go, hey, if
you stay at this place, other people have a katr robe. Yeah,
so enjoy enjoy, oh s gorgeous is amazing. But anyone
can get in there.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And get nerd and rape and murder you. Yeah, by design,
by policy, now it.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Can happen due to I'm sweating because I'm so excited
to so I'm basically I'm in the text. I'm scared
you're gonna what are you scared?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
No, Like, I'm almost like scared you're gonna go too
soft again, and like just be like, can we get
the cocktails free?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
To I just like, I know what should I say?
What I think I'm gonna say? Hi, we had a
beautiful stay. Blah blah blah, this happened. I'll talk about
how terrifying it was, but shit fucking was. And then
I'm just gonna say it just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Sit right with me, Like, see, it's still not quite there.
Way it is for me, I'm not sure what the
beautiful stay thing is all about for you at this point.
I mean, I guess is it because you want to
go back and you're hoping that they give you, like,
you know, a tower of pro federal with like.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
A cut at the top. So you say, you're saying
with a what almost happened last time? So okay, what
would you do if the hotel? What would you do
if you were me?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Well, I would probably google a little bit about what legally,
because if you think, you know, questions of when safety
has not been brought up before in a hotel, you know,
there's a world of stories out there. So it's sort
of like I'd probably google a little and just be like,
you know, the primary expectation of a motel six is
that you know, I'm not at home, but I can
stay somewhere where I can guarantee a roof over my
(25:08):
head that no one but me is the key to
it is the primary expectation of a hotel. And I
was alerted not that a glitch or some kind of
error of mere negligence that occurred, but that by design
and policy, the adjacent you know rooms had access to
(25:28):
my room for the entirety of this day. If I
had found that out, I would have been, you know,
really upset, like if nothing had happened. But I found
that out. However, I did find it out to find drunken,
profoundly drunken men had entered my room.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Using a key, would not leave, see like, because I
almost what I try to focus on afully confused. They
were right before it's funny. It's funny, like you know
and bye by the way by Jack Jaqueine Jockolate. I
left that their careers and lives could be ruined, if
you'd like, when I fucking your bet, I should take
my phone out and start filming them. That's a huge mistake, now,
too well, I know so, And this is further in
(26:10):
the confusion. When they were outside and they were talking
to the door, and I screamed, you better get the
fuck away from that door right now, because they were
out there and I and one of them, the lest
Jon que goes, can we just goes? Can we just
come inside and look for our back? Oh? He still
saw he still thought That's what I almost felt bad.
I was like, oh damn, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
See, this is actually where maybe you do. The lawyers
are not the villains here. Let's start with that. This
is where you and the lawyers you, John, You and
John and the lawyer boys team up, okay, and get
a settlement because.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Like, like what if you had you.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Know, they could argue that their their careers and lives
were almost ruined, because what if you had immediately pulled
out a camera and put them on TikTok going These
lawyers is from Philadelphia firm whatever kind of broke into
Arleigh barge into my room, and I I'm just saying like,
like it's very funny.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Okay, by the way, my adrenaline, I am so excited
to write this email.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I'm not actually joking about I'm actually thinking it might
be interesting to reach out to law firm.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Their law firm. No, I know, wait, listen, would you
when you're I'm not gonna do that, do that. I'm
not going to reference the law in my email, but listen.
If you were me, would you put in the email
something on the lines of being built for the stay
feels pretty egregious or would you just let them come
(27:39):
forward with it? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, I I I once heard someone say something like,
when we said I had an auto allergy, I was
delivered or not in a cocktail. Oh yeah, and had
an immediately allergic reaction, ran to the store or whatever.
And the end of the meal when they try to
take the round of drinks off the ones that had
(28:01):
the nut in the drink.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Okay, Yeah, are you already composing the email psychopaths?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Okay because you're afraid of losing the words that just
came to you that you feel are the golden ticket. Okay,
need to breathe and realize that, like I'm not going
to forget, Like I'm only going to get better.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
As the you're gonna okay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
But I I heard the person who was dining with
say something like, I was shocked when the bill came out.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I assumed, in no way was I going to pay
for this meal.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yeah, I was astounded when I was handed a bill
and by putting it through that way, the manager was like,
oh shit, you're right.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Like basically it was like, you're right.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And then a reader for this and this is where
we differ or where you know the people I was
with and I think you might differ, okay, is that
is that he goes, we are absolutely paying for the meal.
This is not about like I'm not gonna be the
asshole doesn't like, we're we're paying for the entire meal
and we were even if you wouldn't let us, would
be tipping the wait staff, you know, heartily.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
He's like, we're paying for the meal. Like, but I
just want you to know. I was completely shocked that
a bill came ooh.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
There it is, and.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
And they're going, no, no, we'd really like to comp
the meal. You are absolutely right, and we'd really like
to comp to the meal. Comp the meal, and the
person was absolutely not, no, we're paying, and I'm going
can we yeah, like because like you know, I was
paying for the meal like whatever, Like it was hysterical
that one person who's like making the big scene is
like still like it opting for all of us that know,
(29:41):
in fact we will pay.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
But setting aside trying to get it for free or whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I actually don't think the answer lies and talking about
how terrified you were and all that, okay, because to me,
that's that's like it's like if if someone breaks into
your house, if someone does something like blatantly illegal mm hmm,
you don't have to claim terror for it to have
been illegal.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
Do you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
It almost makes it like you're trying to seek emotional
damages for something that was kind of vaguely like to me,
all of the as you can imagine, this was very
disturbing or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
It's a little bit like it's like it's like suggests
you think you don't have a case. Yeah, yeah, exactly,
as though you don't have a case. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
And to me, it's just like I would never pay
a single dollar to stay in a hotel where I
didn't have a room that locked, that's all you can say.
Or that gave access to my room to strangers or
whatever you want to say. Yeah, I mean, and also
maybe you don't care and who gives a shit, And
it's like it's funny and egregious and maybe you're kind.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Of like I don't even hate the hotel. I don't
hate the hotel. That's why I'm like, because I don't
hate the hotel, and I even have the thing of like, well,
I don't want to cause a fuss, and why not.
We're on the boat. They're talking about, Oh, Justin Bieber
and Jimmy Fallon come here. I'm like, really, you're pretty
sure Jimmy and Justin wouldn't want anyone to have a
(31:03):
key to their fucking room to come in the very
least have a glimpse of their wife's tits, at the
bare minimum, at the very least.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I mean, there's nothing more dangerous in this world than
a pack and a pack of drunken Philly lawyers on fag.
They can disappear body and worse, on a work vacation,
they're not there with their family.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
They do a huddle in the morning. How do we
do this? Yeah, my body is sent down the lagoon,
into the open ocean, into the Caribbean sea. Never like, wow, okay,
well this is now a lot.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Usually it's like a series of errors where you could
be really pissed that a series of errors. They didn't
do this, they didn't do this, and you just go,
I'm really disappointed overall, because every step of the way,
you know, these things happen and I could have been killed, right,
that kind of thing. This is not that, this is
the most what is the most If you had to
come up with the most egregious, you know, just just
(32:01):
blatant fuck up, you could have What more? Could it
be that they rented out the space under your bed
for someone and didn't tell you.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
It's as close as that, So we'll see. I can't
wait to draft this fucking.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I'm gonna consult my friend who yes, because I first
of all with nut allergy, even though I said I
have nut allergy and I was knowing.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
John, John's gonna go leave it alone. I think John's
gonna go leave it alone. I'm gonna go. I don't
know about that.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, there is the thing with where it's not just
you paying, like it's like it's not just something you
bought for the two of you.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
It's like you both paying.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
So it's this weird thing where you're almost like, you know,
it's sort of both.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Of your names being dragged with the mud.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I also, you know, don't pay twice, right, like like
I don't count energy. Discussing on poog as failed energy.
This is conversation because listen, here's what it is. I'm
not going to get into a back and forth. I
have no urge to like like, I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Three lines.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
I think it should be free. I think we should
be refunded. It's three lines. I think we should be refunded.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
For this day.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Other guests had access to my room the entire time,
unknowingly to me and ultimately knowingly when the worst thing
that could possibly happen, a group of drunken men force
their way into into our room. We're lucky that violence
didn't occur. You're lucky the violence didn't occur. I could
have taken out of a fucking knife and you could
have taken on a gun and shot them, Okay, and
(33:26):
then they'd be dead when it wasn't even their fault.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I know, violence could have occurred. Such a fucking good point.
So violence was narrowly escaped. Yep, Okay, Well this is
we got a log off. But this is a bonus
pooh law my god, imagine I'll be represented by pooge
(33:49):
power suits, nine inch sheels. They march in. Oh my god.
So wait. I texted John. By the way, I'm Emilion
the hotel. We're getting more money off with your blessing
more money up.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You're hysterically you're softening it for John Can You're just
saying saying, except John thinks.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
I'm like John thinks. I always think I'm being robbed.
I know, Jacqueline whole stays free. Jacqueline, thanks the whole stay.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
They're lucky violence didn't occur. I'm not saying to devote
your lives to it. I'm not saying I'm not gonna
lose sleep.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I'm not going to engage in a big I don't
want to fight, but I'm gonna write an email. Just go.
You know what. I was shocked to receive the bill. Yes,
just run it past me. Okay, I don't need any
softening language. I'm definitely running it past for you kidding me, so, Jacqueline,
(34:51):
we hang up. All of a sudden, I get a call.
Call comes in. It's from Jamaica. Wait did it say
the word Jamaica? Yep? Wow. Did any part of you
go I'll let them leave a message I'm scared. Yes,
and then I went just answer, you're an adult. Just
you sent the email. The woman on the phone was
lovely extended her apologies, said she's following up with her
(35:15):
operations manager and kind of gave it to me straight.
I rehashed what happened, and I have to say I
said to her, I said, you know, if this had
been a glitch, and she would yeah, it was a glitch.
I went, wasn't a glitch. It's not a fucking glitch.
But I talked to them and I was told that
their keys worked for art real, which is like a fantasy.
It wasn't a glitch. And again, it wasn't a glitch
(35:36):
because I was told that their keys worked anyway. Yeah,
the point is, and she God bless her for this.
She kind of was like, shoot straight, she was like,
what do you want, which, by the way, I'll just
say listen, and I appreciate Jacqueline your you fucking asshole.
You're already mad, and I am. I was literally scared
(35:59):
to ask, so listen. No, oh my god, So I
said the term great reduction.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
No no, no, no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
No no no.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
This couldn't be worse. Well, no, it's my email for
about non violence. Okay, okay, hold on.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I know, listen. I was two, Okay, great reduction. Okay,
let's just all right.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I don't know everything in this world, okay, but I've
watched enough TV to understand that when someone says what
do you want?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
What do you want? You go up and then they
bring you down. Maybe they don't even bring you down.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
They're basically they're basically saying, we want this to end.
It's like, yeah, stunned, Kate, I cannot laughing at myself,
like who I've becot've become.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I'm still I'm looking at the rain falling outside. I'm
going Wow.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
The fact that the words, it's like, either it's egregious
or it's not.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
God, damn it. What do you want? Kay? I wish
I had the technology to have made your voice sound
like my voice, as if it would have mattered. I
needed someone else to do it. I needed a broker.
I needed a discount broker. I needed someone to go
into there and the word discount, Well, this is the thing,
this is why I want to go in there. Calls.
I think the entire stay should be because it's hard
on the phone. I am as hard. Yeah, it's hard
(37:21):
on the phone.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Text language is a place where it feels like that's
where you can state what you believe and not in
desperation to establish report at all costs, which happens during
live conversation, starts softening it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
That's why I value email and so and so. I said,
I want the last night for you.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Oh no, no, no, wait, what happened to rate reduction?
I'm just I'm just you go rate reduction? And then
dot dot dot said production. She wasn't yeah, and then
it was kind of like, okay, what it was like?
It was a blur jocolate. I was alone, and I
was scared. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I'm literally considering by the number I call. Sure. Well,
here's the thing, Jacqueline. She didn't say, all right, the
last night's free. She went, I'm going to talk to
operations talk about the refund. I went, thank you. You know,
I'm concerned with being friendly, perceived as nice. You know.
I start cowering. There she goes, and she said, and this,
(38:16):
I thought, it's a little pold What was your cara,
No me not asking for the whole stay to be camped,
which I do. So okay, I thought you.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Were said like, then you launched into a thing about
how beautiful resort it is.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I did say how beautiful the resort was. No, you
worked that in. I said, everyone that was there was
so wonderful, the hospitality was great. So this is after
you've asked. Now you're trying to like pat it landing
sweeten it. And then and then she said, she said,
and this is my email for future stays or if
your friends want to come. I thought that's interesting. So
(38:45):
to her, it's everything is all and well, I don't know,
I am considering just giving giving you the number.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
All right, let's let's just play this through. She goes,
this is someone else. Well, I wasn't even suggesting. I
pretend I'm you.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh damn, who do you? Who are you? My associated?
My business associated? Well, I considered that or wild transparency.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You say i'm her friend and podcast I'm sorry, I
just overheard half of a conversation, and I cannot allow this.
The request that my friend doesn't have the courage to
ask for but is absolutely required, is a full refund it.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
This is outrageous. Keep going, I'm getting so turned on.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Like I mean, I guess like it's as simple as like,
I'm going to continue to make this a problem until
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I don't know, I don't know, I just I don't know. Wow,
I don't know so much. We don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's no, I'm really wrestling with all the questions because
I'm going I'm wrestling too the fact that after our
hard work, well, of.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Course you did. I mean, I mean, after the drafting
of the of the email tells me what do you want?
She knows what she's got on her hands. She just
got a little tuble maker. What's a free ride? Were you?
It's it's so interesting. Did she say want? I think
she said what can I do for you? What can
I do for you? But a couple of times, I mean, yeah,
(40:16):
I forget an the email?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Did we would we say, I think there's camp the
whole stay should be refunded?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Or was it I said, I was shocked to receive
a full bill? A bill, full full bill? Did you? Sorry?
Little I did in detail? Have you made any I
didn't makes I didn't make any edit. Just looking to
see here it is here it is upon reflection, Yeah,
you said full honey, upon reflection, I'm shocked to receive
(40:43):
a full bill for our stay.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Oh right, right, I see how it could be interpreted
both ways. Okay, what I meant was yeah, full refund
and yeah, that's not clear. I guess, I guess there's
a few moves here. Okay, did she give you her info?
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah? I have her email and I have her number,
I have her name. I know her name. I booked
through her. I booked to stay with her exhaustive thread
because I was booking to like three days before arrival,
so it's really intense. I was trying to get the
you know, the least expensive thing and figuring it out.
She already, she already knows. Well, here's what's not in
my favor. Two things. One I was really trying to go, Okay, well,
(41:18):
this one's the least expensive. Will split on this, you
know what I mean. You're haggling from the start. I
had to openly not hagg an. I'm trying to get
the best. I'm trying to stay there for the cheap
and the cheapest way, right, And that's clear the whole time.
And then this doesn't help. This is not good. This
is not good. In a moment of mania, I sent
I sent her your account down, I sent her the
Poog preskit, and I said, is there any kind of
(41:38):
media rate? You know, we talked about travel a lot
on the podcast, never even acknowledged it, acknowledged it because
celebsco there all the time. They don't ask for free shit,
so they're like, I'm not going to give it. They're
not going to give a free ride to Justin Bieber.
They're not going to give me a goddamn discount.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Right, Although I feel like that model doesn't totally hold
because the micro's value, you know, blah blah blah. But well,
it's interesting that the podcast piece was mentioned, because then
doesn't she know that.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
I'm going crazy on the cast? Yeah, what does that do?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I know this, we need like what happened, So you
don't even get the confirmation. It's just it's I got
to ask the manager. Just going back to the operations director,
they're going to talk about it. This is pathetic. Oh god, no,
I just mean that, like, I mean, I find it.
I don't know, Okay, I know this is I'm really
I mean, it's I keep wanting to go like it's
(42:41):
not about the money or something. I don't even know
what I'm trying to say. I think it's just maybe
just shoot off an email.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
You go.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Look, I always got on the phone and I got
I got, I got panicked on the phone. I really
think the state should be camped entirely, and and and
I cannot recommend this before, buddy, if you don't take
responsibility for damn you know.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Okay, let's get to you firing off another draft. I
don't know why I'm fighting this. I want you to
fight it because I don't know why I'm fighting this
so hard. Freestay, are you kidding? You're fucking kidding. I'm
just shocked because here's the thing, Like, you're like the
cold hearted bitch I love when you call me that.
I know. Where is she now? Okay?
Speaker 2 (43:23):
I don't know what the answer is here. Yeah, I
don't know what principles apply. I don't know who we
want to be in this world.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I am only devastated that you took a particular stance
and then retracted.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Well guess what, here's what's in our favor, sweetheart, It
was the phone. Nothing's in writing. There she is? Okay,
there she is. I want you to know that I
loved you. If you draft up another no, if you
(44:01):
dropt up another sent from the law Offices of Jacqueline
Novak email, I will absolutely send that through the phone.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Call is in the wind right, I was distracted, not
on paper, so you don't even have to acknowledge what
was or wasn't discussed on phone call.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
Don't put don't create a paper trail there, genius, genius. Okay,
you just say, hey, you could acknowledge that phone call.
Appreciate you calling me.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, appreciate you calling me. You asked me what you
can do for me given this situation. There it is,
I think the stay should be camped like, I think
that's the right thing to do. It will make it
so that I want to come back to your resort
in the future and recommend each other. That's what's necessary
to feel that you guys take this seriously, and then
I can happily come back to this resort and recommend it.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And then you drop the poog press kit again. That's
ajust really good. And you know you also say, and
I hope that it will be remedied. Remedied so the
keys only work for the person. Yeah, okay, draw it up.
It's going out. Brought up, it's going out. After some
back and forth on email, I was able to secure
a one night refund Jacqueline's desire to get the full
(45:11):
stay refunded. I admire that I was unable to secure that.
But the one night was on the house that was pooh.
If you enjoyed Poop, please subscribe, rate and review. If not,
we will press charges. I myself have been asked would
(45:36):
I return. I don't know the answer. I don't know
the answer, and therein lies the continued persistent mystery of life.
Really Bye,
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