January 12, 2021 • 54 mins
The hags discuss flossing, taxes, and the confusion of natural deodorant.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Kate ber Land, I'm Jacqueline Novak, And this
is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends,
two untamable intellects. This is ourb this is our hell,
this is our naked desire for free products. This is
today's topics. Loosely speaking, attention proficient in excel. I'm ready
(00:22):
to say that I'm experiencing extreme jaw pain yesterday and
today and it really hurts. And one of my greatest
fears that I haven't probably thought about months, but think
about it constantly, is that one day I'll have to
have the surgery where they break your john reset it.
I haven't heard about that particular procedure. Okay, so they
(00:44):
break your jaw right and then reset it and then
you look different. And I had a family friend's son
who had that surgery done, and it's it's an imprint
and imprinted me, and I carry it with me, and
I constantly fear it. I've had job trouble forever and
I just have ignored the pain for a while. I
(01:05):
had a bike guard made for four hundred million dollars
that my insurance wouldn't cover, and then I took it
home and immediately hurt. I was like cool, and then
I brought it back in and they were like, oh yeah,
that's not gonna work. And so that was pain that
I that was an emotional it hurt. It was like
it was the bottom. The doctor, the dentist who I
(01:26):
actually love, Fluccio Kim. Hello, um, the dentist who tear
his name. Yes, sorry, is that safe for his privacy? Yeah,
I'll send him business I've sent shout out or something.
I just like it's sort of tumbled into it. Luo
Kim and Glendale shout out. He completely convinced me that
I needed to flost my teeth twice a day. Once
a day is not enough because you need to break
(01:47):
up the bacterial cycle. You have two every twelve hours.
Interrupt that hugely helpful. And I have research now from
my uncle shout out to uncle Jeff that and this
is terrifying. But also you know knowledge power that there's
serious periodontal disease in your FATA. I'm sorry, excited. There's
a lot of evidence not pointing between dementia and gum
(02:10):
health and something about the bacteria that goes inside myself
off the building. You may still hear my voice. It's
going to take a microphone with my name on the flora.
Let this be a size that This is also empowering
because we can floss, right, we have the power to
floss time. There is time, and I can tell you
that for your No, it's not too late, it's not
too late. But we need to be fostering. I hate
(02:30):
to say it. I'm gonna say it again twice a day,
every twelve hours. So that's what they say, you really,
that's what you need to really break up the bacteria. Okay,
I'm very excited and I'm going to say these things
you don't forget. I want to talk about peeogen, periogen. Okay,
it's um it should be poogs new sponsor too. I
want to talk about the breaking of the jaw and
your belief that that surgery is coming for you, because
(02:51):
I don't want to hold onto that belief, your belief
that I'm going to break down. I can't think I
I generously listened and didn't interrupt as much as I
wanted to interrupt your curtainery so much. First of all,
you can name one person who got that surgery if
you did a survey you could name seven close personal
friends who have severe jaw issues. Okay, Okay, you're right,
(03:14):
but so you're not alone for one. This isn't You're
not special here. Okay, Okay. What I mean is I mean,
I'm sorry. I don't mean in the alt right. I
know you think I couldn't be friends with you if
we weren't if you did that. You know what I
mean is jaw payne is a major problem for a
(03:35):
lot of people. And so it's it's unlikely to me
that you're a candidate for for an outrageous surgery I've
never even heard of. The greatest fear is that I
have that I just had this vision of myself on
the supermarket and I'm facing I'm facing the wall, I'm
I'm perusing let's just say it's pasta right, and I'm
looking at and then a friend wheels by. They hear
familiar voice. Oh it's Kate. They Kate. They go to
(03:57):
tap me on the shoulder. I turned around. It is
me and they go, I'm sorry, I thought you were
my friend, and I go, no, it is me. Like
I just had that image, and I just want to say,
this is kind of a kind of a hilarious, not you,
and then I go, no, it is me. I am
Kate and then they go, oh god. They go, yeah,
I probably haven't seen you in the year, and they
recognize you like you go like you you're still doing
(04:19):
the eye cross. Huh yeah, I um, that's a fear.
But really, in the comedy of your various face transcend
a new jaw. Thank you, thank you. I don't want
to have to break my face, but I very quickly
just a little kind of fun, horrifying artifact of maybe
being raised in Los Angeles is that my parents took
me to an orthodontist when I was It was probably
(04:40):
like the seventh eighth grade talk about the jaw stuff,
and the orthodontist, you know, had this print out of
my face and he was talking about the jaw, and
then I guess he's pitched to my parents they could
squeeze in a nose job or a chin job. They
were like, they listen, listen to good, we get arounder.
There we shaved down the jaw a little. They truly
pitched or pitched to do an optic and sorry, an
(05:02):
opt in on the chin job. First of all, that's
not even their domain. I'm sorry into the job, but honestly,
the chin's as far as the way as a nose.
And I don't think they're an e n t are
they Was it a nose job they pitched? I think
it was. It was a chine job. And godbout my parents.
They never took me back to that doctor. Good. Now
did they tell you at the time that this occurred
(05:22):
a little upsettingly close to that age? I think I
remember years later my dad kind of like, oh my god,
that orthodontist who said we should get you a chine
job or something, And I, of course it was like,
what do you mean? And so that was hard. But
I remember my mother I just wanted to say about this, Okay.
I remember being in the orthodontist chair. Okay, I too
win and I feel like I beg to go but whatever. Um.
(05:43):
And they first were going to correct my under no
over bite, like bring the lower jaw forward a couple
millimeters right, and so to do that, they make a
retainer that forces me to really jut it out right
all the way under like like a full like basically
past the front teeth right. The canard goes that to me, okay,
(06:04):
and then you know, and my mom's like, that's not
what her profile is gonna look like, right, Okay. My
mom was like, she has a beautiful profile. I'd like
to maintain. I like to maintain. That sounds like me, okay,
but like I I don't know. She was just like
I wanted to make sure they weren't marring me for this,
like and it was like, no, that's that's the overpronouncement
(06:26):
for the sake of you know, retraining the muscle and
then it's going to settle back to a normal place. Um. Well,
the problem for where the orthodantery for me okay is
you know they send you off when they finally get
the braces off, they send you off into the world
with maybe a rubber guard okay, that they tell you
to where to maintain the thing. You never hear from
them again. Okay, they make No, they don't come back
(06:48):
at you after a year and say how's your guard?
You need a new one? Okay. They treat it whether
they act like the changes there for life and this
guard is an afterfile. And guess what the very a
moment you leave the orthodontist. Okay, it's like I've been
dying since the day I was born, Lisa Lobe. Okay,
the moment you leave the orthodontist is the beginning of
the teeth returning to their original form. See, and this
(07:09):
brings up that you're exactly right, and it brings up
so much anxiety for me of the way that I
feel that life is so impossibly we're it's so barely
held together, and like we were never safe, right, We're
never actually held by any structure. It's like the government,
needless to say, isn't there for us? But it's like
our parents die, everyone dies, we die, our bodies breakdown.
(07:31):
It's like, are you absolutely kidding me? So we're all
we're doing is grasping. We're sliding down the cave walls.
We're holding on. Our nails are ripping off, our skins
ripping off, and then there's pus from the previous pun
popping off on someone else's nail that's on, and then
(07:53):
they go just float, just fall. And so I'm supposed
to just free fall with gratitude. We're just one. I've
been practicing lately to to eternal, I mean to constant
death exactly. So, so I'm supposed to free fall and
be grateful on the way down, and yet and now
I'm just getting fluted with images of paperwork and taxes.
Well the paperwork. It's just the paperwork. And I think
(08:16):
so much of the way I see myself, and this
is something I need to carry, and this something I
have to work on. Is like the way that I
am terminally unable to address the kind of facts of life,
of paperwork, right, of bills, of these things. The way
that that crushes my spirit in a way. And what's
so pathetic is I think I'm like, oh, that crushes
everyone's spirit, right, Like there's no one Some people are
(08:38):
super truly perverse and they like get off on that
or they're just or I envy them they're able to
do it. In fact, I have friends like that. I
see them and they're opening the bills and they go,
oh damn, or they go and they're they're able to
address it. And that doesn't crush you. I heard you, Okay,
be one of these people to me where you were
like gott to get the taxes together, and even that
(08:59):
st trope of someone even complaining about taxes. But they're
still within the realm of people who are like handling
it on time. Do you know what I'm saying to me,
it's the modal space of resentment of the thing by
which they are letting us all know they are participants
in it. Right, So it sort of tax time. I'm
sorry because I was probably trying that on as a
(09:20):
way to kind of like pretend, you know, like I
wanted to see what that felt like. And by the way,
when I say, oh, tax time, I mean what that
means I'm ignoring emails from my accountant, right that I've
delegated that to someone else, because it's almost like I
would rather I feel so inept and so unable to
deal with that. That world just so terrifying to me
(09:40):
and soul crushing that like I'm one of those people
who would be scammed, Like I'm one of those people
that those services could bleed dry. I mean, like if
you sign up for turbo tax um like gold or
something not specifically, then but like whatever turbo flash Okay, okay,
meaning meaning a rip off or a fake right, Okay,
(10:01):
I know nothing after about tax but but but for example,
that click, I wonder if that actually popped up on
the recording. Oh god, pure microphone to silence. Okay, keep going, Okay,
this is humiliating, you know when my jaw audibly cracks. Okay,
and like Hollywood meetings, okay, where where I where? And
(10:24):
this is it doesn't happen at home because I guess
I don't do the following at home, okay, which is
a full performative jaw drop of an expression in response
to what the young executive has said. They're like, we're
actually developing something with Selene Dion okay, and I go okay,
and I do it with such force it's that's a
(10:46):
loud Now I'm truly talking about that, or I've almost
had to acknowledge it. I mean, is that not humiliating?
Is that that a reveal of all? Like ringing out
in an echoy room. It's my rights. And I'm only
remembering it now because I in the moment I push
it down. Okay, I can't tolerate what has just happened,
(11:07):
so I push it down and then I forget and
then waken the night. But anyway, anyway, I was saying
something else, I was saying toxic anyway, taxes okay, to
reflax okay, etcetera. You could get scammed, as could I,
because the absolute disempowered belief okay, that we have about
our ability to navigate, you know, the forms of our government, etcetera. Right,
(11:27):
I mean the physical forms, the paper forms. Literally have
you seen a W nine? Have you seen a W two?
They're inscrutable and then and they always say they always go, oh,
don't worry, like they're made to confuse you. Like I've
had an accountant say that or someone be like, well
they make it hard, and I'm like, well, now that's
a system I definitely don't want to participate in because
I know I'm never gonna understand. So why even bother
(11:50):
like there's completely oh God like truly, this is bringing
up my my therapy super bill. Okay, let's keep going,
keep going, wait therapy super bill like the super bill
to to um it to my insurance to be like, okay,
you will cover this therapist totally, but maybe you'll cover
a certain percentage. Like that's also where they where you
get where most people it's the it's like you know,
sixty day warranty, Well, no one's going to send it back.
(12:11):
They're too lazy. Okay, Okay, it's the same principle I forgot.
I see this, I don't remember what that metaphor was
connected back to literally taxes and then it's impossible. Oh no,
but but there no, but there was something the confusion,
the no one will do it all right there, Oh no,
super super okay, super bell yes, So like that's exactly
(12:32):
the kind of thing. Okay. For example, me getting my
antidepressants at the Midstown okay, sorry, and then the pharmacy
it's like, oh, and the insurance isn't covering me because
they needed prior authorization for the new year. Blah blah blah.
And it's like, well, you know, if you save the receipt, Okay,
you say the receipt and me mail it in. Okay,
you can tell them what happened, and blah blah blah blah.
It's like I once did it'd sooner write a novel,
(12:55):
a novel literally, because at least with the novel there's
there's no forms. Okay, it's you in a blank page. Okay,
it's direct. But the point is, once I did it,
this is what I want to say. Okay, I reject
these things profoundly. I've operated on the belief of being
behind in my taxes for years, filing extensions every year literally, okay,
every year on the tax day too, doesn't everyone Well no,
(13:17):
I guess everyone does. Know some people. That's where you
start hearing about them, like like jan one being like,
better get last year's taxes together, because you see, you
end the year so technically desert preparing last year's taxes.
See what I'm saying. And I'm like, no, I don't understand,
but I'm gonna shake. But I'm nodding. I'm going yeah,
but I can't even hear it. So basically, because you know,
(13:37):
taxes in April, right, they're about the previous year. And
by the way, I've been hung up on that so
many times, I'm like, oh, it's last year, so and
and who are these so? So everyone has file cominants.
Is that one's supposed to believe everyone has really intricate
foul cabinets, and everyone has their labeling system and and
(13:57):
and they're making notes, and that they keep a ledger,
and I supposed to have a private ledger of that
I'm doing. And by the way, and I do panic
yesterday someone into a little blinder or or like last
night I emailed a little job that I convinced myself
I hadn't been paid for and I emailed, and I
was like, like, I was pissed, right, it was like
nine pm. I was like, Hi, just circling back on
(14:18):
this like I wanted to know. And then and then
immediately the woman responds. Immediately, the woman responds, oh my god,
we put the check in the mail. Did do not
receive it? And then I'm immediately the full probably did.
It's not a huge amount of money, but it's like
I probably did receive it, cash it and forgotten. And
so then I have to be the one who's now
bringing them angrily information. Where's my check? Chances are I
already spent it? Right? So it's like and then so
(14:40):
I responded, I go, you know, I'll love a check
on my end. No not I'm my friend to I'm
my end, because what is my end? My end are
piles of hell for a pile of mail. But the
brochures you buy something the brochure, where do you put that? Well, manuals, No,
I have a handle manuals. Man manuals. Clients throw away
the whole appliance. I would soon to throw away the
whole appliance. What about the box of the appliance? Like
(15:03):
breaking down boxes? That's some people that have the strength
to break down. But I'm sorry, okay, but Chris, he
breaks down the boxes around here, and it's it takes
a courage and a fortitude. I don't understand. The best
I can do is pile boxes inside of each other
like a Russian doll. That to me is containment. Okay, wait, wait, wait,
I want to trace this back because there was a lot. Yeah,
(15:23):
there's a lot, and I was loving it all. They
were all rich resources. There were meals and one of
them is going to spoil on me overheating in my fleece.
Because I always want to quickly say that this is
a fleece Ja crew fleece that I chipped my tooth.
I have a chip tooth because of his fleece. I'll
just say quickly. It was on sale and I was
so excited it was half off. I ran over to
(15:44):
John Early, who was in the store. It was hanging
off the hangar and I was holding up the fleece,
shaking with joy because it was half off, and I said, yep,
I said, I said, half off, bitch. And then at
that moment, one of the wooden heavy duty yes side
of the hangar came flinging out of the flace, knocked
me right in the tooth and a very small chip
and I'm fine, I still have it. I mean it's
(16:05):
barely there. It's a tiny little ruffle that's gone. But
then I chipped my tooth. I chipped my tooth. I
have to get I'm sorry, and I know people don't
understand my need for certain details. Okay, was the hangar wooden? Yes, yes,
I believe it would not it would It wasn't by chance,
the one at the front of the rack, which is
the about you know, I'm talking about where it's like
(16:26):
suspended shoulders. I'm really I'm controlling myself from getting up
and getting one that I recently acquired, Okay, because I'm
I know, and it's I know. It's radio. I want
the people radio. And by the way, Kate and I
and our producer editor Data, we call this radio. Okay.
This is terrestrial radio. This is okay, this is radio. Okay.
(16:47):
Don't you love the term terrestrial radio. It's just thrilling
because it flies through the air. Of course, it's beautiful.
I interrupted you talk clear about how I am the
same as you. Okay, okay, But some of the times
that I've transcended it. So for me, you know, years
and years and years, the way my mind works to
get anything done, I cannot you know, no balance for me,
no shifting activities. So it is it is. I have
(17:08):
to put aside taxes okay, and file extensions, but then
not paying then I've often not paid the extensions okay.
So it's this weird thing where the woman who was
helping me out was like, you know, okay, so every
two months you print out a voucher okay, write a
check and send it. What everything I'm supposed to remember
three months later that something will change. Who's getting their
(17:28):
oil change? So that's one of the utter laugh. My
car has had the light on first scheduled maintenance, Like
fuck off, are you kidding me? People are driving their
cars and fixing them on this and a lot of
it's unspoken okay. And and I've often felt not abandoned, betrayed, okay,
betrayed when I find out it's like what you when
(17:49):
you said to me, Oh, you've been running home and
putting on your serums without doing any running home and
oil checks and going there. Oh yeah, well when was
your last oil check? Uh? In the eighties. What are
you talking about? To hang on? So, I'm supposed to
be someone who goes, Oh, let me put a reminder
in my calendar to get my oil checked in three months.
Is that what I'm supposed to do? Wait, you're joking
(18:10):
about three months. It's not that often, right, I think
I'm gonna look it up, right if it's. If it's
any more frequent than you, that's a jet and the
car industry was over oil change right here. Oh no,
it's probably more alone in the world. It used to
be normal to change every three thousand miles six months.
(18:31):
Every six months. Oh no, they're saying everything every six months,
based on what kind of daily mileage. The numbers are
falling apart on us. Sorry, continuing. I had a boyfriend
who was really into cars, and he stuck the thing
because my car was probably stuck something in the in
you know, I guess the oil take whatever. He said nothing,
and then he just said, like, you need an oil change, sweetheart,
And I was like what. It was a real shock
(18:54):
to the system. Yeah, we might cut that. I don't
want him acknowledged anyway. We should, We should get to
the break. Okay, say that's stay all right, Sorry, sorry,
that stays time for the ad two little letters when
endless experience and we're back. The thing I wanted to say, Kate, okay,
(19:22):
is that and this is just like you going to
yoga class and you're like, this is this is it,
this is this is what makes me feel great and
then you know, next day missing it and then never
doing it again. Right, So I have had these profound
experiences where you know, so my my model has always been,
ignore the taxes, just try to survive, you know, hopefully
don't get jailed, okay. And and instead of turning to
(19:46):
the form, turned to the novel and try to become
a wild success so you can just pay it enough
to just pay it all off, fines included. That's the fantasy.
Now it's a gamble. It's a damn gamble, and you
live in fear, live in fear. You hope it motivates you. Again. Recently,
I've been like, you know, attempting to get caught up
and boy oh boy, you know, talking about surrender, okay
(20:07):
to the cave. What I found was that if I
focus on trying to complete the task as hell, if
I sat down and just gave myself over. It was
practically spiritual when I when I was like, I'm pretty sure.
I just went through everything I have from when I
figured out her download from Chase. No spreadsheet okay, from
(20:27):
Chase that has all of I say, because I only
recently dealt with nine and was really fucked up, I'd
be hospitalized. Yet Chase expects you we've printed that ship out.
They don't keep the files after a certain amount, so
they tossed them. What is the internet in four? Okay?
(20:50):
It has to go in my poppin you know what
that is. I don't have one, a poppin file cabin.
I get emotional expensive FI from what I was an assistant,
and I botched the expensive fies or no, no expedient, no, no,
what's no? It's expensive. And I felt terrible because the
only person I've ever heard mention it. You know why,
I'm the one who set up that system for that
woman that you were an assistant for. I want to
(21:11):
set up expensive because I tried to use expensive LI
I mean me and a spreadsheet. I mean pause, I realized,
are you one of these people? Some people think a
spreadsheet is graph paper? Yes? I did, Okay that you
can write things in. You write things in, you utilize
the graph paper to organize information. I've been operating for that, okay,
(21:33):
when in fact it's a it's a system for manipulating data. Okay.
I mean I don't mean manipulating you know, um nefariously Okay, Okay,
it's it's like it's a you put the things in,
you can organize it. Okay, but I don't mean organize
it and the way you would on a sheet of
graph paper. I just wanna be honest. I'm shutting down
even just hearing keep going on. Please, I have shut down.
(21:56):
I have shut down. No, I know you can't. I
just want you to know, like one thing, Okay, I'm
gonna try to try. Yeah. So let's say I I
wrote down every expense. I may even that word expense.
I'm gone continue to try another way. Okay. I write
down a bunch of numbers in a in a column,
and I go, what are these? Okay? What do I
(22:17):
spend the most on this year? Guess what? I go
to the top, I clicked something, and it rearranges them
in order of their size. Okay, that's an example. You
can't do that on graph paper without mentally doing it?
Do you see barely? I just like it's a it's
a real mental block and I need to By the way,
(22:37):
have you ever written on everything? Am I'm gonna have
to do ayahuasca soft word suite proficient. Wow? No, I'm
saying it's like, you know, that's the thing, like everyone
lies just describe himself as like proficient in excelf and
the entire And I'm wondering if you have because you
are clearly yeah, I mean you've never sought out a
job of that nature anyway. Relevant. That's the soul system
(23:00):
stuff where they're like and then organize. I'm like, oh,
and make the files. I mean I was tasked with
creating a filing system and it was I have a
huge I have one better example of exceling. I'm going
to bring it. Okay, it's easy. I'm gonna keep it simple,
long list of numbers. It's amazing the way it feels.
This is good for me to move through, to to
have someone for me to move through your vocalized and
(23:23):
visual because I get really it brings up so it's
like furially shuts me down and I feel really angry.
What's what's wrong is that I feel you pigeoneling me. Okay,
you're mothering me as though I'm one of these Excel people.
I am not. I am you. I know that you're
not the job pain staring. I know that you're not.
I'm you who have feeling into the forest of Excel
(23:44):
and actually, like discover you have an understanding of it. No,
I have an understanding of possibility. Okay, within it. Okay.
Do you have a filing cabinet. Do you have a
filing cabinet? No, but I have file cabinet. Cabin It's cabinet,
not cabin And I said that because I think you
(24:07):
were conduced or I was deciding between file and filing.
Oh okay, I thought I heard cabinet, his cabinet. Okay, No,
but but but I had to catch up. Okay, so
it is a ship show. But I had to catch
up whatever whatever to go, blah blah. Here's my example.
A bunch of numbers in a column. Okay, I guess
what you get to. Oh, you're such a fucking asshole.
(24:29):
I'm listening. I do have gentle vertigo from this morning
and I woke up and we'll get to it later. Okay, Okay,
here's a simple example. Okay, write a bunch of numbers
in column A. Even there question for you, bunch of
numbers and column A, what the hell are you talking about?
What is column A? For example? To say, column A
was flights I took, right like flights that I paid for.
(24:53):
So I'm in column A, I have the numbers of
all the flight Is that a number that people do like?
I don't even know you do? People start? You don't
get on the flight number A four to six d
L too. Okay, So column I'm creating a simplified, stupid example. Okay,
and then you're questioning the stupidity of it. Okay, okay,
(25:14):
But for example, and you're the one I made about flights,
I'm just trying to give you the basics. Okay, your
numbers and column A. Guess what you can just go
And this is a formula, and this is my my
greatest pride in Excel. Okay, you write equal sign and
then you write where some right you write it in
any other column you feel like. Okay, you write some equals.
(25:38):
The point is with two key commands, you can know
the total of those numbers. Okay, Okay, that's cool. Now,
it's not like, well, it's like, hey, I ever heard
of a calculator? No, okay. The point is then you
throw a number in later okay, you add another flight,
you forgot about another d l okay, and it knows
and the total in the bottom automatically change. I should hope,
(26:01):
So I should hope. So it's an open technology is
capable of doing that. But I see how that can
be comfort. You're able to engage with that, and when
your formulas working, you're like, I'm a hacker. Wait wait,
by the way, because I feel like just googling something
makes you feel like a hacker. But listen, you're this
is bringing us something I think is really potentially deeply funny,
which is that years ago I attended some seminar there
(26:23):
was women in finance, Like I'm going in and I
forget what it was called. It was like it was
like some women were like, hey, like, this woman's gonna
come talk to us, like teach us how to take
control of the money in their lives and understand things.
And I was like, I was like, literally, okay, I
need that so desperately, so I go. This woman was
(26:44):
so captivating for me. I decided that I was going
to buy a whole life insurance. It was a full
scalp or it's like a full I drink the cool
adge so hard. I left soaring. I was like, I
was like, I'm gonna have money in my I'm saving
for my retirement and I I you know, and I
completely went down the rob the whole with her. Talked
to her on the phone. I don't I don't want
to say she's a malicious person, but I was. I
(27:05):
was so captivated by the certainty in her eyes and
her little blazer that I was sure that I could
finally be in control and that I was. Was she
both okay and so and you know what I mean,
and like I was just small on her small form.
And then it was life insurance. She was selling life insurance.
But I couldn't quite grasp that, and I think, and
(27:27):
so I then called my countant, was like, okay, so
I'm bringing on this woman and I am going to
do this and they were like whoa And they were
like and then because I asked her on the past,
you have an accountant. But I asked her on the call,
I was like, so how do you get paid? And
she was like, I get paid through empowering women. And
I was like, oh, you know, I had a little
red flag like oh. She was like I love to
(27:48):
bring to let women take control of their lives and
their finances. And I was like, where's the fee? Yeah?
And I was like, but the fee and she was like,
I get zero point zero that you contribute. And so
I continued to forward and go, Okay, I'm going to
get this insurance and I don't even know if I
can say it. And I went so far that I
literally had because to enroll in this certain kind of insurance,
(28:09):
they need to take blood to check for the need
to take your blood and like your piss and your
vitals to be like that you're healthy. Still have the policy?
Do you pay for you? No? I never did it.
I truly gave the piss and the blood and then
I guess what the nurse said, well, I have all
your DNA now, which was kind of scary because I
(28:29):
was like, so is you gonna go spread the auto
crime scene? Like why are you saying that? And then
I chickened out. I talk to my account and they're like,
you do not need to be doing that. All you
need to do is like save like whatever and so,
but I went so far and there was a moment
of the certainty of where I had the golden city
on the hill of the of I understand, and I
I save, and I know where the money goes when
(28:51):
in reality I hemorrhage cash on dinner and then go
where the money go. And it's likely it was the
mesa platter. That's where it all went, because you needed
to have them as a platter, and you need it.
You did because there's more flavor diversity in appetizers than
there is in the homogeneity of of a typical meal.
(29:12):
I have to remove my fleece because I'm sweating profusely,
by the way, I do want to understand about sweat,
and I want There's never I want you. There's no
such thing. There's no such thing. And I'm willing to
go on air and say this. There is no such
thing as a natural deltorant that works. And there I
(29:33):
said it, and I'm completely prepared to do what the consequences. Yes, okay,
you're gonna tell me. Here, apply this three inch paste
to your armpits. Okay, sure, yeah, that'll physically block it. Why.
I also put a piece of vinyl on there to
pull in your clothes. Three inch paste, that'll do it.
I'm talking about something else, and right in I want
to know which brands brands are listening sementy delterants. I
(29:56):
will do a ruthless test, but I'm completely at the
and I'm turning to dub. I'm going to secret ower
my life, no smell. I'm not trying to be cute here, okay,
And actually I do have some ideas about this, but wait, Kate, Yeah,
natural deodorant is the second biggest live It was calories
(30:20):
in Calorius Okay, okay, But so I'm meaning to tell
you about a product okay, like okay, and I can't
remember if it worked, and and I'm afraid to tell
what I've done to manage the underrum because I'm just
I cannot with the aluminums and the whole thing. Okay,
I just don't do it. Well, I don't do it,
or I do something else, So I do special occasion
(30:43):
like poison deodorant, right, I don't do that. I don't
I want it anywhere fucking near my pits, Okay, I
really don't. I'm huge news good also um the aluminum
itself and I'm gonna have to look this up again,
but it's something like the aluminium the dealterant is actually
what causes the sweat stains. Okay, sweat itself doesn't stain.
(31:04):
Sweat mixed with the aluminums of deodorant causes stains. Okay,
Now I feel you be listening. I'm just thinking sweat stains.
I mean you being standing clothes. That's not really my issue.
I've just like I've always been a sweater wouldn't say
this issue, okay, And I want them to understand this
principle to feel heard too. Again. I don't remember what
(31:25):
one was, okay, Okay, I don't want anything on that membrane.
I don't think it's save it on day. This is good, okay,
But I did some reading, all right, I did some reading.
What you mean you don't want anything on that membrane? Well,
I don't even want to go there. I don't want
to stoke your fears. Are you joking? I mean the
reason people don't use the poison deodorant is because they're
afraid of breast cancer. I know. But what membrane under arms?
(31:48):
I can go out? I belive I can something. You
have to cut in because I brought my mom. I
brought this fear. I kind of have to say, is
there research that the deodorant causes cancer? What? I mean,
absolutely not. However, we can't always wait on the researchers
to do the clinical studies. Obviousness. Ever heard a talk
(32:09):
that's true? Actually talks terrifying talk. They finally got it
after forty years they figured out that talk was causing
cervical cancer. Okay, and there's a massive class action lawsuit. Okay, okay,
and I participate. Have to quickly say that I was
invited to participate in a class action lawsuit against birch Box. No,
(32:33):
by the way, I can't. But it still exactly they do.
This is New York City. I was like twenty two,
I saw birch Box ad where was Instagram even born yet?
I don't know. And I was like, oh, and I
signed up like five dollars a month. I got one
of them. I was like, this is trash and I unsubscribed,
so I thought I probably been charged five dollars a
month since I was four. But like, but I got
(32:55):
a little postcard that was invited me to participate. Of
course I did not, But what was there wrong. What
have they done? The fine print was too fine. I
didn't go that far. But I don't even want to
see how you've been fucking fuck. You know, like the
box was poisoned if you touched it poison It was
something like they weren't sending out the boxes or something
that out. But oh yeah, the deodora And I was
(33:16):
going to tell you about So I did some research, okay,
and it's like, what's boh blah blah blah. It's the
bacteria feeding on the sweat, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Okay. So, however,
we know that violently attacking bacteria, trying to strip it away, okay,
causes problems, causes more. You know, this is the age
of the microbiome. Okay. We don't pour bleach down our
(33:37):
stomach to get rid of you know, we know we
need a healthy amount. That's how we do it. Okay.
But the only way to get rid of the are
you googling? No, my hands are right here, Okay. It
was the eyes had fallen to a place where I
felt like I was I'm like, I don't think I'm
on the bottom left of her screen. You are, by
the way, the bottom left. God, that's what I need
(33:57):
to go. Okay. Um, so it's the bacteria that causes
the BO if I've let it go, and I'm like,
particularly stress, sweating while working, there's a very particular meeting
and or like hardcore writing and stress that I swear
this wet is different. I'm like, oh, God, there it is.
I stink in this, particularly because I'm not like that
much of a sweater. Okay, Now, when that happens, what
(34:20):
I've taken to it. And I'm sure I'll get wrong
for this. Okay, I'm sure they'll come after me. Neo
fucking scorn. Pop it on, fucking take the bacteria. It's gone.
And then I follow up with something I found online
island off to find the exact product, probiotic deodorant. That's right,
(34:40):
you're putting bacteria on the surface, so that's a healthy surface.
Because I read a study. Okay, No, that's not true.
That's a lie. I read an article. I read a
forum post, okay, that they were able to cure some
people's BO by transferring the bat or the transferring the
sweat and bacteria from some one without bo's under arms
(35:02):
to the under arms of the person bo introducing the
kind of good, healthy bacteria of that other person's microbiome.
Can you do that with a friend? Scrape it off?
It's got to be a different way. It's that's like
fecal implant. That's like they take the ship from somebody
with a healthy GG exactly. K to retrain n probiotic
(35:23):
deodorant by Island deodorant. I think it's called send me
the link, actually high, just send me the stuff Island
neo sporing. How often are you put a neo sport
on your pits? Very rare, okay, because what I'm doing
is I'm removing bacteria to replace with good bacteria. So
I don't think it's a perfect solution. Like you're at home,
get out of here, Okay. I take three baths the day, Okay,
(35:44):
I know I love to be I mean, at this
point quarantine literally I am, I am too plus I'm
two plus, I'm one to two a day now. The
second bath because daylight bath love real rejection of the
world as it turns eight time bath. Of course, you
know a traditional eroticism whatever, Okay, you know of the
(36:05):
evening bath. I mean, I mean we all yearned to
be the detective off duty, you know, putting the crime
scene photos aside and sinking into the bath, and then
and then and then you realize and you jump out
of the bath and you go sliding around the apartment
looking for the phone. And then then the library. They
couldn't have been there between four and eight because the
library is closed on Easter. Well, the implication by television
(36:29):
that you know that the final clue is always revealed
through you know, the b story. It needs to go
with your peanut butter cookie recipes. Jesus, I'm trying to
solve a case. Well, they're really good. You should have
a What did you say that if you crush the peanuts? First,
(36:50):
I gotta go where are you going? The second? Then
says the person the button at the end of the scene,
Oh my god, that's so money. Too many a D
we're going to add now, kids, welcome back to pe
(37:14):
double o G. That's p double o G. I do
want to talk about periogen okay, And and again classic
case didn't get the cash first, you know, this is
just authentic pray for the cash after pray for the
thank product. I thought it was a disease. No pareo
dent titus, periodontal disease, etcetera, etcetera. You know, actually it's
(37:37):
a classic case. You raised. It's like going with the
name of the doctor is the name of the So
I mean, I've brought this up one thousand times in
my life. I've probably said it on poog. But how
I resent that anal retentive gets shortened to anal because
they're not being anal. They're being you know, retentive, intentive,
right right right, not being anus like yeah, they're being
(37:58):
like an overly tight anist that can't relax. Anal was
never the issue, um anyway, So I need to be
anal whatever, you get it, all right, So periogen, Okay,
I really struggle with brushing my teeth. I don't like it. Okay,
I don't like doing it. Now if I could take
them all out individually, place some boiling water, scrubbing by hand,
(38:20):
that's a great dream, and screw them back in, that's
a dream. Technically it's dentures. But you know what I'm saying. Okay, okay,
but okay, However, I think part of the reason that
I don't enjoy it, but but it would be complete.
I think the inherent incomplete feeling of brushing one's teeth
makes it unsatisfying to me because I don't truly know
when I'm done get it out. I'm I like savory delights.
(38:43):
My I had a cat who had a you know,
beef flavored toothpaste, Right, isn't that sweet? And I'm like,
where's my pattee to fast the assumption that we want
whatever anyway? So, and I've been really struggling because I've
been depleted in the last couple weeks, and SO have
been really Like last night, I yelled, I'm in no
mood to brush my teeth, but I'm going to go
(39:04):
do it anyway, and stumped up the stairwell. Okay, I mean,
and this relates to the taxes and actually an archetype
that I think you and we both might suffer from. Okay,
the Forever Child. I was reading about it my new
um Wild Unknown Archetypes card deck Sensational. Someone actually a
poog listener, recommended it under under one of our episode things. Anyway,
I got it immediately click purchase for Forever Child. Doesn't
(39:27):
want to do the taxes, etcetera. You and me the
light side of that archetype. Okay, brings joy. See that
there's more to life than than teeth and taxes, and
that's great. And we bring light in, okay, bring lighten
and enjoy and whatever. You know, the dark side of
the Forever Child is kind of a refusal to deal
with ship that they should be dealing with. And thus,
you know, it can be dependent on others and blah
(39:48):
blah blah. All sorts of things can be irritating the other.
But I was like me and Kate, really this is
you know, and I what I believe is nice about
Pooh is that we be the forever child. We animate
the light side of the forever Child, and we el
in the in the in the joy of the humiliation
of the dark side. That's what I feel like. It
might as my life's work right now really growing up
or whatever taxes. Well, we will be talking to Clarisi
(40:10):
pincal is D's eventually talk about what Clarissa pinkal s
d s a k cpe author of Women Who Run
with the Wolves and so much more. Of course, just
like a rather bitch in town. Yeah, I truly read it.
I just want to say that because I'm going to
denigrate it. It's real, So I can't. I've always thought
it was a grotesque embarrassment on the part of consumer
(40:32):
brands in general that we have we still have to
you know, Hall Hall, that we still have to manually
exfoliate our teeth basically. Okay, it does seem ridiculous. It's like, oh,
we used to wash our hair by rubbing a stone
on our head or whatever, and then we figured out shampoo.
We forgot away do it comic bloy people, okay, and
then here we are with our teeth still manually scraping.
(40:55):
So I did some research and I found a thing
called pteriogen. Okay, it's it's a extreme water softeners. Technically,
how it works, you dissolve in water. You you either
you know water with it or you a true innovation.
It's the first thing of its kind. Swish it around.
It actually breaks down the black tartar. Okay, it actually
(41:18):
breaks it down over time. Oh my god, I've seen this.
You may have seen it because I have promoted it.
It's the only thing that potentially without any manual work
will it really seems like this is an ad But
I swear to God listeners, so we do not. I
cannot endorse and I will say, do staly gonna before
and after? But see the after? Yeah, but before not?
(41:40):
Oh christ, I hate looking at this ship anyway. Yeah,
I guess. But this is all bringing up for me
is actually I do like brushing my teeth or something.
I think the ritual. I love you love grooming. You
know I love grooming. I've spent six hours on my face.
It's not instead, No, no no, no, it's not instead. Pereogen
is working on the off hours. You seem like a
hardcore undercover Peeogen. I'm just saying this is like, no,
(42:06):
I know, I know, and you know what it brings up.
It reminds me of something genius and my cousin told
me when I was a child. Okay, when I was
going to audition for a few commercials after a summer
camp stage door manner, all right, I was really struggling
with being like, how to say the ads because as
are written in such like cheeseball right, and and so
I remember, well my cousin said to me, and I
(42:28):
think it's a genius. She was like, because she was
a young actress, She's like, when you are passionate about
a product and you're like telling your friend about it.
You do talk like that. I know it's true, Like
you are like the thing about Dentine, right, Okay, you
know like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, no, I'm like,
you know how you hate brush your death. It's like
(42:48):
Periogen is the one product in your medicine cabinet that
works when you're not working, you know what I mean. Like,
it's like it's like I should like go of the
self consciousness, you see, like I would go into the
ad audition and be a thousand times subtler than I
am when I'm telling you about peeogen and thus have
never booked. Of course. Oh my god. The job pain
(43:09):
is absolutely yeah, one time we are job pain. So
there was no place for me to even get in
the fact that I suffer a major jaw life okay,
job based life. I clenched. I clenched since childhood, and
I since childhood. My mother said she could hear it
down the hall sign of a genius grinding in the night.
Thank you. Okay, and I have ground my I guess
(43:32):
incisors down. Uh you know they could no longer pierce
a wolf in the woods. Okay, they're flattened at the
bottom um. By the way, I too have chipped the tooth.
Would you like to know how I did it? Because
I think it's pookin. Yeah. I feel I've bored you. No,
I'm sorry. My jaw just really hurt, some mean distracted.
I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I have
(43:55):
my face massager. That's not enough. Okay, which face massager?
I've got like a skin gym like the two balls
that you Yeah, that's not doing ship for you. Okay,
that's good for skin, but that isn't doing anything for
your muscle pain. Okay. Do you need to do know
that skin too? Okay, but it also kind of goes
in the muscle. No, well yeah, yeah, but that's not
(44:16):
what I have. An ice roller. No two, feeble kate.
You need to lift up your hand right now, look
at your thumb the side if it's clean, it is,
and then send it into your mouth the thumb. Oh yeah,
massage from the inside. Yeah, yeah, I've done right now.
I feel like my hand is not clean to fully
go in the mouth. Let's try it now. Oh are
(44:40):
you squeezing from both sides? The muscle is so so tight? Ah, good,
move it around, it around and then the next thing
and you can do this later. Ah, there are a gone,
I can't do a thing that really does so good?
And then see you that there's the only child or
(45:03):
the whatever in you. Okay, is that you know how
to cry in a feeling way. That's when you're gifts
like you've always like, oh not appealing. Appeeling is not
the word, but like you're able to project a baby ism.
I think it serves you. M hmm, yeah, okay, get
to get the other side. To the other side feels
(45:25):
fine though it's just this side interesting. And then you
know my fantasy is, oh god, hand flavor in the mouth, Well,
you know you have to do you have to keep
moistening your own mouth with your own saliva while you're
doing it so it doesn't sort of dry out in there,
and then you're just tasting pure hand. I know that
actually helps Jackline. That really was soothing. I'm gonna watch
(45:46):
TV massage my mouth from the inside for like an hour, yes,
and then done. What's that? Could I over massage? Never?
Oh my god? Then sorry so scared? Oh no, what
about strokes? You know, because my mouth tastes like my
hand and I just don't like that. First of all,
(46:07):
picture a lemon. Picture slicing into a lemon. Okay, dragging,
dragging the side of your tongue up the open lemon. Okay,
Now do the other side. Now, imagine a jar of
pepper and cheenie peppers unhooked the jar, Lower your face
into it, dip your tongue in and hold it there.
(46:27):
Is it watering yet at all? No? I'm fine. What
do you taste? I don't want to talk about it. Cool.
I don't want to talk about this star on the podcast.
And I respect it. I respect it. Will move on
because you're going to go down a spiral. No times,
you've only been in home. You're fine. It's just the hand.
(46:50):
It's just like my I tasted my hand in that
was broken in to say that she believes the hand
flavor is the most disgusting thing in life. How do
you feel about food hands after lunch? I always thought
that was an indignity, Okay, an indignity. Returning to the office,
you're typing and like your hand passes near your face
and you're like, oh cool, the tuna salad from down
the street, like has deeply permeated. I made a tuna
(47:13):
amount for lunch. I'll just say that I eat tune
amounts with a regularity. That would shock you, given the
fact that I'm off bread. I was gonna say, what
are you putting? What are you doing a gam base
but on a plate. I'm saying, not a tune amount
in my book, But I hear you, well, yeah, I
mean it's it's it's what do you put it on?
What's the dream? What's the ideal tunamount? Oh? Wow, the
(47:36):
ease with which you said it revealed a food's not
very I mean, I mean, I'll do right, but no,
I do. I have an incredible tartein surto loaf right now.
I know you're going to disrespect this when I say it.
I'm furious the English muffin, the classics and to me
English muffin tunamount. I'm not anti English muffin, the English muffin.
(47:57):
I don't purchase them. No, I mean I would have
one in fifteen. I wanted cinnamon raisen English muffin right now,
more than I've ever wanted anything. Cinnamon raisin bagel combined
with chive cream cheese. Oh, I don't know about that.
For me, You're a fool you're a fool if you
don't know. Okay, welcome to Jewish cuisine. Okay, first of all,
(48:17):
how dare you? I had to go there? Okay, and
I almost mother earlier when you've forgotten about the existence
of rye, but then you said it. I could never
forget rye. No, the combo of the sweet and the
savory certainly makes its way onto platters. Chive, I would
eat it for drink wine. You drink wine along with
(48:39):
a savory meal. Why wouldn't you have a grape with
an onion. You'll have a grape with an onion at dinner.
I'm just saying, try it. Okay. It's the kind of
mistake that's some you know, it happens accidentally kind of
or something. Okay, it's it's perfection. I mean, it's it's perfection.
I was actually thinking about getting bagels this weekend, so
it's funny you say that. That was my big plan.
I was going to do a special Baiel Unlock Sunday
(49:01):
kind of a thing. I tried to join them the
other night and and failed the forms. Frankly, it was
the forms in a way newms an app that's supposed
to what again, new is by the way, I think
now is a sponsor. Isn't it not a sponsor? We
said no. We said no because we don't promote weight loss.
(49:21):
We don't want to promote weight loss things. So anyway,
newm is an app that I noticed when I was
doing my taxes. I go, what's this? What's this hundred
and fifty dollar charge? Last year? Oh my god? One night,
in a panic, okay, I signed up for now. I'd
(49:41):
be had a hundred and fifty dollars for something which
is a major investment in the app world. Yeah, that's
h okay, the subscription of that kind. Deciding that I
was committing to say and then completely forgot. So the
other night I see some new ad and I go,
let me, let me look at this, because I frankly
found their staggering okay, okay and the success people have had,
(50:03):
and one of their ads they act like they're doing
something different, and so I'm get curious and I go,
are they I look and their claim is that they're
using cognitive behavioral therapy to completely change your relationship to food. Okay, fine,
all from the comfort of an app. I actually do
believe in the ability of apps to take you through
cognitive processes. Okay. I was an early adopter of some
(50:24):
rogue apps that have since disappeared. I go like, I
let me try that again. And then I opened it
up and it's like, yeah, this app no longer exists,
like whatever, So I go onto new I go, this
makes sense to me. I'm exhausted by my food addiction experiences.
Let's see maybe this thing will will help me. I
was so sold on the marketing. They were like, it's CBT,
(50:45):
and then they go and this is the first part
of their CBT. They go like, we want you to
identify the reason you want to lose weight, okay, And
I'm like uh. And then I was like okay. I
was like okay, They're like, right it in here. I'm
like Jesus, okay, I'm like, all right, where the hell
or the supportive questions they're gonna lead me to that answer,
(51:05):
right horse? So I just righte in like belly fat,
belly hatred or something, okay. I like like like, I
was like, I'm not working around like whatever. And then
they're like it can be an event like your wedding
or something, okay, like whatever, And then it was like okay,
you put in your goal. Now you want to dig
a little deeper, Like what's what's it really about? They
(51:25):
give you three opportunities to dig deeper without helping you
cognitively figure out a way to dig deeper. I was
lying there and I just go, I don't know, and
I don't even know if I want to now. I
was willing to accept that and move forward. And then
I move forward. I put in some bullshit okay, belly,
and then like I hate self or something okay, and
I wanted them to see the truth, you know what
(51:46):
I mean or whatever. I don't know. I think there's
a person reading that live going oh god, so itself. Oh.
And then they started with like, well, just to get
you started before you even really get into it's just
a couple of tips on day one, you know. And
they started talking about volume meeting okay, and how you
know a bowl of grapes, We'll fill you up more
than a bowl of the same amount of raisins. And
(52:10):
I'm like, I'm like I know, okay. And then they
started in with something that like basically endorsed carbs. Oh.
They had a quiz okay where they said, like testing
you on your knowledge what's your best bet for losing weight?
And they were like, hey, it was like cut carbs.
B was like connect to your local community. Yeah, okay,
da dada, And I was just like, fuck you, gosh.
(52:32):
I clicked to cut carbs because I knew they were
trying to set me up for the fall, you know
what I mean. No, you're at noon, you can eat
whatever you want. It's not about that, okay. And it's like, well,
what if I don't want to eat carbs? Because I
know they fucked me. I don't know. It sucks. It
was a really dark moment. And then I was like,
I was so disappointed because I bought into the promise
(52:52):
of CBT, and if if it delivered true CBT cognitive
behavioral therapy, you know, I'd be selling it right now
so hard, and I just it disappointed me. I felt robbed.
I had to put in an email address, I had
to create a password, okay, and that takes energy. Whatever.
I'm disappointed me. You don't need newm you need you.
(53:12):
I need a loom and a community with which to loom.
You don't need them, you need you. Mm hmmm. I'm
I'm gonna about to go get in the bed with
a scoop with a cup rather of Coconut Cult gelato,
which I would like a free shipment of yesterday. And
I believe I actually reached out to Coconut Cult on
(53:34):
Instagram and I begged for free product. This is like
maybe a year ago. They did nothing. This is a
new call to Coconut Cult. This is a new call.
And guess what, I'm going to reach out again formally.
But I love the gelato. I'm gonna have Coconut Cult.
I scream in bed and I'm going to watch the
Heaven Skate doc. A massage my jaw, use the theragun
on that job. I can't wait to discuss Heaven. Actually,
(53:54):
I can't wait for my vehicle to discuss Heaven's skate
with your vehicle. You'll know what that means shortly. Oh
my god. Okay, love you, Love you. That was poog.
If you enjoyed Poog, please subscribe, rate and review. If not,
we will press charges.
Hi, I'm Kate ber Land, I'm Jacqueline Novak, And this
is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends,
two untamable intellects. This is ourb this is our hell,
this is our naked desire for free products. This is
today's topics. Loosely speaking, attention proficient in excel. I'm ready
(00:22):
to say that I'm experiencing extreme jaw pain yesterday and
today and it really hurts. And one of my greatest
fears that I haven't probably thought about months, but think
about it constantly, is that one day I'll have to
have the surgery where they break your john reset it.
I haven't heard about that particular procedure. Okay, so they
(00:44):
break your jaw right and then reset it and then
you look different. And I had a family friend's son
who had that surgery done, and it's it's an imprint
and imprinted me, and I carry it with me, and
I constantly fear it. I've had job trouble forever and
I just have ignored the pain for a while. I
(01:05):
had a bike guard made for four hundred million dollars
that my insurance wouldn't cover, and then I took it
home and immediately hurt. I was like cool, and then
I brought it back in and they were like, oh yeah,
that's not gonna work. And so that was pain that
I that was an emotional it hurt. It was like
it was the bottom. The doctor, the dentist who I
(01:26):
actually love, Fluccio Kim. Hello, um, the dentist who tear
his name. Yes, sorry, is that safe for his privacy? Yeah,
I'll send him business I've sent shout out or something.
I just like it's sort of tumbled into it. Luo
Kim and Glendale shout out. He completely convinced me that
I needed to flost my teeth twice a day. Once
a day is not enough because you need to break
(01:47):
up the bacterial cycle. You have two every twelve hours.
Interrupt that hugely helpful. And I have research now from
my uncle shout out to uncle Jeff that and this
is terrifying. But also you know knowledge power that there's
serious periodontal disease in your FATA. I'm sorry, excited. There's
a lot of evidence not pointing between dementia and gum
(02:10):
health and something about the bacteria that goes inside myself
off the building. You may still hear my voice. It's
going to take a microphone with my name on the flora.
Let this be a size that This is also empowering
because we can floss, right, we have the power to
floss time. There is time, and I can tell you
that for your No, it's not too late, it's not
too late. But we need to be fostering. I hate
(02:30):
to say it. I'm gonna say it again twice a day,
every twelve hours. So that's what they say, you really,
that's what you need to really break up the bacteria. Okay,
I'm very excited and I'm going to say these things
you don't forget. I want to talk about peeogen, periogen. Okay,
it's um it should be poogs new sponsor too. I
want to talk about the breaking of the jaw and
your belief that that surgery is coming for you, because
(02:51):
I don't want to hold onto that belief, your belief
that I'm going to break down. I can't think I
I generously listened and didn't interrupt as much as I
wanted to interrupt your curtainery so much. First of all,
you can name one person who got that surgery if
you did a survey you could name seven close personal
friends who have severe jaw issues. Okay, Okay, you're right,
(03:14):
but so you're not alone for one. This isn't You're
not special here. Okay, Okay. What I mean is I mean,
I'm sorry. I don't mean in the alt right. I
know you think I couldn't be friends with you if
we weren't if you did that. You know what I
mean is jaw payne is a major problem for a
(03:35):
lot of people. And so it's it's unlikely to me
that you're a candidate for for an outrageous surgery I've
never even heard of. The greatest fear is that I
have that I just had this vision of myself on
the supermarket and I'm facing I'm facing the wall, I'm
I'm perusing let's just say it's pasta right, and I'm
looking at and then a friend wheels by. They hear
familiar voice. Oh it's Kate. They Kate. They go to
(03:57):
tap me on the shoulder. I turned around. It is
me and they go, I'm sorry, I thought you were
my friend, and I go, no, it is me. Like
I just had that image, and I just want to say,
this is kind of a kind of a hilarious, not you,
and then I go, no, it is me. I am
Kate and then they go, oh god. They go, yeah,
I probably haven't seen you in the year, and they
recognize you like you go like you you're still doing
(04:19):
the eye cross. Huh yeah, I um, that's a fear.
But really, in the comedy of your various face transcend
a new jaw. Thank you, thank you. I don't want
to have to break my face, but I very quickly
just a little kind of fun, horrifying artifact of maybe
being raised in Los Angeles is that my parents took
me to an orthodontist when I was It was probably
(04:40):
like the seventh eighth grade talk about the jaw stuff,
and the orthodontist, you know, had this print out of
my face and he was talking about the jaw, and
then I guess he's pitched to my parents they could
squeeze in a nose job or a chin job. They
were like, they listen, listen to good, we get arounder.
There we shaved down the jaw a little. They truly
pitched or pitched to do an optic and sorry, an
(05:02):
opt in on the chin job. First of all, that's
not even their domain. I'm sorry into the job, but honestly,
the chin's as far as the way as a nose.
And I don't think they're an e n t are
they Was it a nose job they pitched? I think
it was. It was a chine job. And godbout my parents.
They never took me back to that doctor. Good. Now
did they tell you at the time that this occurred
(05:22):
a little upsettingly close to that age? I think I
remember years later my dad kind of like, oh my god,
that orthodontist who said we should get you a chine
job or something, And I, of course it was like,
what do you mean? And so that was hard. But
I remember my mother I just wanted to say about this, Okay.
I remember being in the orthodontist chair. Okay, I too
win and I feel like I beg to go but whatever. Um.
(05:43):
And they first were going to correct my under no
over bite, like bring the lower jaw forward a couple
millimeters right, and so to do that, they make a
retainer that forces me to really jut it out right
all the way under like like a full like basically
past the front teeth right. The canard goes that to me, okay,
(06:04):
and then you know, and my mom's like, that's not
what her profile is gonna look like, right, Okay. My
mom was like, she has a beautiful profile. I'd like
to maintain. I like to maintain. That sounds like me, okay,
but like I I don't know. She was just like
I wanted to make sure they weren't marring me for this,
like and it was like, no, that's that's the overpronouncement
(06:26):
for the sake of you know, retraining the muscle and
then it's going to settle back to a normal place. Um. Well,
the problem for where the orthodantery for me okay is
you know they send you off when they finally get
the braces off, they send you off into the world
with maybe a rubber guard okay, that they tell you
to where to maintain the thing. You never hear from
them again. Okay, they make No, they don't come back
(06:48):
at you after a year and say how's your guard?
You need a new one? Okay. They treat it whether
they act like the changes there for life and this
guard is an afterfile. And guess what the very a
moment you leave the orthodontist. Okay, it's like I've been
dying since the day I was born, Lisa Lobe. Okay,
the moment you leave the orthodontist is the beginning of
the teeth returning to their original form. See, and this
(07:09):
brings up that you're exactly right, and it brings up
so much anxiety for me of the way that I
feel that life is so impossibly we're it's so barely
held together, and like we were never safe, right, We're
never actually held by any structure. It's like the government,
needless to say, isn't there for us? But it's like
our parents die, everyone dies, we die, our bodies breakdown.
(07:31):
It's like, are you absolutely kidding me? So we're all
we're doing is grasping. We're sliding down the cave walls.
We're holding on. Our nails are ripping off, our skins
ripping off, and then there's pus from the previous pun
popping off on someone else's nail that's on, and then
(07:53):
they go just float, just fall. And so I'm supposed
to just free fall with gratitude. We're just one. I've
been practicing lately to to eternal, I mean to constant
death exactly. So, so I'm supposed to free fall and
be grateful on the way down, and yet and now
I'm just getting fluted with images of paperwork and taxes.
Well the paperwork. It's just the paperwork. And I think
(08:16):
so much of the way I see myself, and this
is something I need to carry, and this something I
have to work on. Is like the way that I
am terminally unable to address the kind of facts of life,
of paperwork, right, of bills, of these things. The way
that that crushes my spirit in a way. And what's
so pathetic is I think I'm like, oh, that crushes
everyone's spirit, right, Like there's no one Some people are
(08:38):
super truly perverse and they like get off on that
or they're just or I envy them they're able to
do it. In fact, I have friends like that. I
see them and they're opening the bills and they go,
oh damn, or they go and they're they're able to
address it. And that doesn't crush you. I heard you, Okay,
be one of these people to me where you were
like gott to get the taxes together, and even that
(08:59):
st trope of someone even complaining about taxes. But they're
still within the realm of people who are like handling
it on time. Do you know what I'm saying to me,
it's the modal space of resentment of the thing by
which they are letting us all know they are participants
in it. Right, So it sort of tax time. I'm
sorry because I was probably trying that on as a
(09:20):
way to kind of like pretend, you know, like I
wanted to see what that felt like. And by the way,
when I say, oh, tax time, I mean what that
means I'm ignoring emails from my accountant, right that I've
delegated that to someone else, because it's almost like I
would rather I feel so inept and so unable to
deal with that. That world just so terrifying to me
(09:40):
and soul crushing that like I'm one of those people
who would be scammed, Like I'm one of those people
that those services could bleed dry. I mean, like if
you sign up for turbo tax um like gold or
something not specifically, then but like whatever turbo flash Okay, okay,
meaning meaning a rip off or a fake right, Okay,
(10:01):
I know nothing after about tax but but but for example,
that click, I wonder if that actually popped up on
the recording. Oh god, pure microphone to silence. Okay, keep going, Okay,
this is humiliating, you know when my jaw audibly cracks. Okay,
and like Hollywood meetings, okay, where where I where? And
(10:24):
this is it doesn't happen at home because I guess
I don't do the following at home, okay, which is
a full performative jaw drop of an expression in response
to what the young executive has said. They're like, we're
actually developing something with Selene Dion okay, and I go okay,
and I do it with such force it's that's a
(10:46):
loud Now I'm truly talking about that, or I've almost
had to acknowledge it. I mean, is that not humiliating?
Is that that a reveal of all? Like ringing out
in an echoy room. It's my rights. And I'm only
remembering it now because I in the moment I push
it down. Okay, I can't tolerate what has just happened,
(11:07):
so I push it down and then I forget and
then waken the night. But anyway, anyway, I was saying
something else, I was saying toxic anyway, taxes okay, to
reflax okay, etcetera. You could get scammed, as could I,
because the absolute disempowered belief okay, that we have about
our ability to navigate, you know, the forms of our government, etcetera. Right,
(11:27):
I mean the physical forms, the paper forms. Literally have
you seen a W nine? Have you seen a W two?
They're inscrutable and then and they always say they always go, oh,
don't worry, like they're made to confuse you. Like I've
had an accountant say that or someone be like, well
they make it hard, and I'm like, well, now that's
a system I definitely don't want to participate in because
I know I'm never gonna understand. So why even bother
(11:50):
like there's completely oh God like truly, this is bringing
up my my therapy super bill. Okay, let's keep going,
keep going, wait therapy super bill like the super bill
to to um it to my insurance to be like, okay,
you will cover this therapist totally, but maybe you'll cover
a certain percentage. Like that's also where they where you
get where most people it's the it's like you know,
sixty day warranty, Well, no one's going to send it back.
(12:11):
They're too lazy. Okay, Okay, it's the same principle I forgot.
I see this, I don't remember what that metaphor was
connected back to literally taxes and then it's impossible. Oh no,
but but there no, but there was something the confusion,
the no one will do it all right there, Oh no,
super super okay, super bell yes, So like that's exactly
(12:32):
the kind of thing. Okay. For example, me getting my
antidepressants at the Midstown okay, sorry, and then the pharmacy
it's like, oh, and the insurance isn't covering me because
they needed prior authorization for the new year. Blah blah blah.
And it's like, well, you know, if you save the receipt, Okay,
you say the receipt and me mail it in. Okay,
you can tell them what happened, and blah blah blah blah.
It's like I once did it'd sooner write a novel,
(12:55):
a novel literally, because at least with the novel there's
there's no forms. Okay, it's you in a blank page. Okay,
it's direct. But the point is, once I did it,
this is what I want to say. Okay, I reject
these things profoundly. I've operated on the belief of being
behind in my taxes for years, filing extensions every year literally, okay,
every year on the tax day too, doesn't everyone Well no,
(13:17):
I guess everyone does. Know some people. That's where you
start hearing about them, like like jan one being like,
better get last year's taxes together, because you see, you
end the year so technically desert preparing last year's taxes.
See what I'm saying. And I'm like, no, I don't understand,
but I'm gonna shake. But I'm nodding. I'm going yeah,
but I can't even hear it. So basically, because you know,
(13:37):
taxes in April, right, they're about the previous year. And
by the way, I've been hung up on that so
many times, I'm like, oh, it's last year, so and
and who are these so? So everyone has file cominants.
Is that one's supposed to believe everyone has really intricate
foul cabinets, and everyone has their labeling system and and
(13:57):
and they're making notes, and that they keep a ledger,
and I supposed to have a private ledger of that
I'm doing. And by the way, and I do panic
yesterday someone into a little blinder or or like last
night I emailed a little job that I convinced myself
I hadn't been paid for and I emailed, and I
was like, like, I was pissed, right, it was like
nine pm. I was like, Hi, just circling back on
(14:18):
this like I wanted to know. And then and then
immediately the woman responds. Immediately, the woman responds, oh my god,
we put the check in the mail. Did do not
receive it? And then I'm immediately the full probably did.
It's not a huge amount of money, but it's like
I probably did receive it, cash it and forgotten. And
so then I have to be the one who's now
bringing them angrily information. Where's my check? Chances are I
already spent it? Right? So it's like and then so
(14:40):
I responded, I go, you know, I'll love a check
on my end. No not I'm my friend to I'm
my end, because what is my end? My end are
piles of hell for a pile of mail. But the
brochures you buy something the brochure, where do you put that? Well, manuals, No,
I have a handle manuals. Man manuals. Clients throw away
the whole appliance. I would soon to throw away the
whole appliance. What about the box of the appliance? Like
(15:03):
breaking down boxes? That's some people that have the strength
to break down. But I'm sorry, okay, but Chris, he
breaks down the boxes around here, and it's it takes
a courage and a fortitude. I don't understand. The best
I can do is pile boxes inside of each other
like a Russian doll. That to me is containment. Okay, wait, wait, wait,
I want to trace this back because there was a lot. Yeah,
(15:23):
there's a lot, and I was loving it all. They
were all rich resources. There were meals and one of
them is going to spoil on me overheating in my fleece.
Because I always want to quickly say that this is
a fleece Ja crew fleece that I chipped my tooth.
I have a chip tooth because of his fleece. I'll
just say quickly. It was on sale and I was
so excited it was half off. I ran over to
(15:44):
John Early, who was in the store. It was hanging
off the hangar and I was holding up the fleece,
shaking with joy because it was half off, and I said, yep,
I said, I said, half off, bitch. And then at
that moment, one of the wooden heavy duty yes side
of the hangar came flinging out of the flace, knocked
me right in the tooth and a very small chip
and I'm fine, I still have it. I mean it's
(16:05):
barely there. It's a tiny little ruffle that's gone. But
then I chipped my tooth. I chipped my tooth. I
have to get I'm sorry, and I know people don't
understand my need for certain details. Okay, was the hangar wooden? Yes, yes,
I believe it would not it would It wasn't by chance,
the one at the front of the rack, which is
the about you know, I'm talking about where it's like
(16:26):
suspended shoulders. I'm really I'm controlling myself from getting up
and getting one that I recently acquired, Okay, because I'm
I know, and it's I know. It's radio. I want
the people radio. And by the way, Kate and I
and our producer editor Data, we call this radio. Okay.
This is terrestrial radio. This is okay, this is radio. Okay.
(16:47):
Don't you love the term terrestrial radio. It's just thrilling
because it flies through the air. Of course, it's beautiful.
I interrupted you talk clear about how I am the
same as you. Okay, okay, But some of the times
that I've transcended it. So for me, you know, years
and years and years, the way my mind works to
get anything done, I cannot you know, no balance for me,
no shifting activities. So it is it is. I have
(17:08):
to put aside taxes okay, and file extensions, but then
not paying then I've often not paid the extensions okay.
So it's this weird thing where the woman who was
helping me out was like, you know, okay, so every
two months you print out a voucher okay, write a
check and send it. What everything I'm supposed to remember
three months later that something will change. Who's getting their
(17:28):
oil change? So that's one of the utter laugh. My
car has had the light on first scheduled maintenance, Like
fuck off, are you kidding me? People are driving their
cars and fixing them on this and a lot of
it's unspoken okay. And and I've often felt not abandoned, betrayed, okay,
betrayed when I find out it's like what you when
(17:49):
you said to me, Oh, you've been running home and
putting on your serums without doing any running home and
oil checks and going there. Oh yeah, well when was
your last oil check? Uh? In the eighties. What are
you talking about? To hang on? So, I'm supposed to
be someone who goes, Oh, let me put a reminder
in my calendar to get my oil checked in three months.
Is that what I'm supposed to do? Wait, you're joking
(18:10):
about three months. It's not that often, right, I think
I'm gonna look it up, right if it's. If it's
any more frequent than you, that's a jet and the
car industry was over oil change right here. Oh no,
it's probably more alone in the world. It used to
be normal to change every three thousand miles six months.
(18:31):
Every six months. Oh no, they're saying everything every six months,
based on what kind of daily mileage. The numbers are
falling apart on us. Sorry, continuing. I had a boyfriend
who was really into cars, and he stuck the thing
because my car was probably stuck something in the in
you know, I guess the oil take whatever. He said nothing,
and then he just said, like, you need an oil change, sweetheart,
And I was like what. It was a real shock
(18:54):
to the system. Yeah, we might cut that. I don't
want him acknowledged anyway. We should, We should get to
the break. Okay, say that's stay all right, Sorry, sorry,
that stays time for the ad two little letters when
endless experience and we're back. The thing I wanted to say, Kate, okay,
(19:22):
is that and this is just like you going to
yoga class and you're like, this is this is it,
this is this is what makes me feel great and
then you know, next day missing it and then never
doing it again. Right, So I have had these profound
experiences where you know, so my my model has always been,
ignore the taxes, just try to survive, you know, hopefully
don't get jailed, okay. And and instead of turning to
(19:46):
the form, turned to the novel and try to become
a wild success so you can just pay it enough
to just pay it all off, fines included. That's the fantasy.
Now it's a gamble. It's a damn gamble, and you
live in fear, live in fear. You hope it motivates you. Again. Recently,
I've been like, you know, attempting to get caught up
and boy oh boy, you know, talking about surrender, okay
(20:07):
to the cave. What I found was that if I
focus on trying to complete the task as hell, if
I sat down and just gave myself over. It was
practically spiritual when I when I was like, I'm pretty sure.
I just went through everything I have from when I
figured out her download from Chase. No spreadsheet okay, from
(20:27):
Chase that has all of I say, because I only
recently dealt with nine and was really fucked up, I'd
be hospitalized. Yet Chase expects you we've printed that ship out.
They don't keep the files after a certain amount, so
they tossed them. What is the internet in four? Okay?
(20:50):
It has to go in my poppin you know what
that is. I don't have one, a poppin file cabin.
I get emotional expensive FI from what I was an assistant,
and I botched the expensive fies or no, no expedient, no, no,
what's no? It's expensive. And I felt terrible because the
only person I've ever heard mention it. You know why,
I'm the one who set up that system for that
woman that you were an assistant for. I want to
(21:11):
set up expensive because I tried to use expensive LI
I mean me and a spreadsheet. I mean pause, I realized,
are you one of these people? Some people think a
spreadsheet is graph paper? Yes? I did, Okay that you
can write things in. You write things in, you utilize
the graph paper to organize information. I've been operating for that, okay,
(21:33):
when in fact it's a it's a system for manipulating data. Okay.
I mean I don't mean manipulating you know, um nefariously Okay, Okay,
it's it's like it's a you put the things in,
you can organize it. Okay, but I don't mean organize
it and the way you would on a sheet of
graph paper. I just wanna be honest. I'm shutting down
even just hearing keep going on. Please, I have shut down.
(21:56):
I have shut down. No, I know you can't. I
just want you to know, like one thing, Okay, I'm
gonna try to try. Yeah. So let's say I I
wrote down every expense. I may even that word expense.
I'm gone continue to try another way. Okay. I write
down a bunch of numbers in a in a column,
and I go, what are these? Okay? What do I
(22:17):
spend the most on this year? Guess what? I go
to the top, I clicked something, and it rearranges them
in order of their size. Okay, that's an example. You
can't do that on graph paper without mentally doing it?
Do you see barely? I just like it's a it's
a real mental block and I need to By the way,
(22:37):
have you ever written on everything? Am I'm gonna have
to do ayahuasca soft word suite proficient. Wow? No, I'm
saying it's like, you know, that's the thing, like everyone
lies just describe himself as like proficient in excelf and
the entire And I'm wondering if you have because you
are clearly yeah, I mean you've never sought out a
job of that nature anyway. Relevant. That's the soul system
(23:00):
stuff where they're like and then organize. I'm like, oh,
and make the files. I mean I was tasked with
creating a filing system and it was I have a
huge I have one better example of exceling. I'm going
to bring it. Okay, it's easy. I'm gonna keep it simple,
long list of numbers. It's amazing the way it feels.
This is good for me to move through, to to
have someone for me to move through your vocalized and
(23:23):
visual because I get really it brings up so it's
like furially shuts me down and I feel really angry.
What's what's wrong is that I feel you pigeoneling me. Okay,
you're mothering me as though I'm one of these Excel people.
I am not. I am you. I know that you're
not the job pain staring. I know that you're not.
I'm you who have feeling into the forest of Excel
(23:44):
and actually, like discover you have an understanding of it. No,
I have an understanding of possibility. Okay, within it. Okay.
Do you have a filing cabinet. Do you have a
filing cabinet? No, but I have file cabinet. Cabin It's cabinet,
not cabin And I said that because I think you
(24:07):
were conduced or I was deciding between file and filing.
Oh okay, I thought I heard cabinet, his cabinet. Okay, No,
but but but I had to catch up. Okay, so
it is a ship show. But I had to catch
up whatever whatever to go, blah blah. Here's my example.
A bunch of numbers in a column. Okay, I guess
what you get to. Oh, you're such a fucking asshole.
(24:29):
I'm listening. I do have gentle vertigo from this morning
and I woke up and we'll get to it later. Okay, Okay,
here's a simple example. Okay, write a bunch of numbers
in column A. Even there question for you, bunch of
numbers and column A, what the hell are you talking about?
What is column A? For example? To say, column A
was flights I took, right like flights that I paid for.
(24:53):
So I'm in column A, I have the numbers of
all the flight Is that a number that people do like?
I don't even know you do? People start? You don't
get on the flight number A four to six d
L too. Okay, So column I'm creating a simplified, stupid example. Okay,
and then you're questioning the stupidity of it. Okay, okay,
(25:14):
But for example, and you're the one I made about flights,
I'm just trying to give you the basics. Okay, your
numbers and column A. Guess what you can just go
And this is a formula, and this is my my
greatest pride in Excel. Okay, you write equal sign and
then you write where some right you write it in
any other column you feel like. Okay, you write some equals.
(25:38):
The point is with two key commands, you can know
the total of those numbers. Okay, Okay, that's cool. Now,
it's not like, well, it's like, hey, I ever heard
of a calculator? No, okay. The point is then you
throw a number in later okay, you add another flight,
you forgot about another d l okay, and it knows
and the total in the bottom automatically change. I should hope,
(26:01):
So I should hope. So it's an open technology is
capable of doing that. But I see how that can
be comfort. You're able to engage with that, and when
your formulas working, you're like, I'm a hacker. Wait wait,
by the way, because I feel like just googling something
makes you feel like a hacker. But listen, you're this
is bringing us something I think is really potentially deeply funny,
which is that years ago I attended some seminar there
(26:23):
was women in finance, Like I'm going in and I
forget what it was called. It was like it was
like some women were like, hey, like, this woman's gonna
come talk to us, like teach us how to take
control of the money in their lives and understand things.
And I was like, I was like, literally, okay, I
need that so desperately, so I go. This woman was
(26:44):
so captivating for me. I decided that I was going
to buy a whole life insurance. It was a full
scalp or it's like a full I drink the cool
adge so hard. I left soaring. I was like, I
was like, I'm gonna have money in my I'm saving
for my retirement and I I you know, and I
completely went down the rob the whole with her. Talked
to her on the phone. I don't I don't want
to say she's a malicious person, but I was. I
(27:05):
was so captivated by the certainty in her eyes and
her little blazer that I was sure that I could
finally be in control and that I was. Was she
both okay and so and you know what I mean,
and like I was just small on her small form.
And then it was life insurance. She was selling life insurance.
But I couldn't quite grasp that, and I think, and
(27:27):
so I then called my countant, was like, okay, so
I'm bringing on this woman and I am going to
do this and they were like whoa And they were
like and then because I asked her on the past,
you have an accountant. But I asked her on the call,
I was like, so how do you get paid? And
she was like, I get paid through empowering women. And
I was like, oh, you know, I had a little
red flag like oh. She was like I love to
(27:48):
bring to let women take control of their lives and
their finances. And I was like, where's the fee? Yeah?
And I was like, but the fee and she was like,
I get zero point zero that you contribute. And so
I continued to forward and go, Okay, I'm going to
get this insurance and I don't even know if I
can say it. And I went so far that I
literally had because to enroll in this certain kind of insurance,
(28:09):
they need to take blood to check for the need
to take your blood and like your piss and your
vitals to be like that you're healthy. Still have the policy?
Do you pay for you? No? I never did it.
I truly gave the piss and the blood and then
I guess what the nurse said, well, I have all
your DNA now, which was kind of scary because I
(28:29):
was like, so is you gonna go spread the auto
crime scene? Like why are you saying that? And then
I chickened out. I talk to my account and they're like,
you do not need to be doing that. All you
need to do is like save like whatever and so,
but I went so far and there was a moment
of the certainty of where I had the golden city
on the hill of the of I understand, and I
I save, and I know where the money goes when
(28:51):
in reality I hemorrhage cash on dinner and then go
where the money go. And it's likely it was the
mesa platter. That's where it all went, because you needed
to have them as a platter, and you need it.
You did because there's more flavor diversity in appetizers than
there is in the homogeneity of of a typical meal.
(29:12):
I have to remove my fleece because I'm sweating profusely,
by the way, I do want to understand about sweat,
and I want There's never I want you. There's no
such thing. There's no such thing. And I'm willing to
go on air and say this. There is no such
thing as a natural deltorant that works. And there I
(29:33):
said it, and I'm completely prepared to do what the consequences. Yes, okay,
you're gonna tell me. Here, apply this three inch paste
to your armpits. Okay, sure, yeah, that'll physically block it. Why.
I also put a piece of vinyl on there to
pull in your clothes. Three inch paste, that'll do it.
I'm talking about something else, and right in I want
to know which brands brands are listening sementy delterants. I
(29:56):
will do a ruthless test, but I'm completely at the
and I'm turning to dub. I'm going to secret ower
my life, no smell. I'm not trying to be cute here, okay,
And actually I do have some ideas about this, but wait, Kate, Yeah,
natural deodorant is the second biggest live It was calories
(30:20):
in Calorius Okay, okay, But so I'm meaning to tell
you about a product okay, like okay, and I can't
remember if it worked, and and I'm afraid to tell
what I've done to manage the underrum because I'm just
I cannot with the aluminums and the whole thing. Okay,
I just don't do it. Well, I don't do it,
or I do something else, So I do special occasion
(30:43):
like poison deodorant, right, I don't do that. I don't
I want it anywhere fucking near my pits, Okay, I
really don't. I'm huge news good also um the aluminum
itself and I'm gonna have to look this up again,
but it's something like the aluminium the dealterant is actually
what causes the sweat stains. Okay, sweat itself doesn't stain.
(31:04):
Sweat mixed with the aluminums of deodorant causes stains. Okay,
Now I feel you be listening. I'm just thinking sweat stains.
I mean you being standing clothes. That's not really my issue.
I've just like I've always been a sweater wouldn't say
this issue, okay, And I want them to understand this
principle to feel heard too. Again. I don't remember what
(31:25):
one was, okay, Okay, I don't want anything on that membrane.
I don't think it's save it on day. This is good, okay,
But I did some reading, all right, I did some reading.
What you mean you don't want anything on that membrane? Well,
I don't even want to go there. I don't want
to stoke your fears. Are you joking? I mean the
reason people don't use the poison deodorant is because they're
afraid of breast cancer. I know. But what membrane under arms?
(31:48):
I can go out? I belive I can something. You
have to cut in because I brought my mom. I
brought this fear. I kind of have to say, is
there research that the deodorant causes cancer? What? I mean,
absolutely not. However, we can't always wait on the researchers
to do the clinical studies. Obviousness. Ever heard a talk
(32:09):
that's true? Actually talks terrifying talk. They finally got it
after forty years they figured out that talk was causing
cervical cancer. Okay, and there's a massive class action lawsuit. Okay, okay,
and I participate. Have to quickly say that I was
invited to participate in a class action lawsuit against birch Box. No,
(32:33):
by the way, I can't. But it still exactly they do.
This is New York City. I was like twenty two,
I saw birch Box ad where was Instagram even born yet?
I don't know. And I was like, oh, and I
signed up like five dollars a month. I got one
of them. I was like, this is trash and I unsubscribed,
so I thought I probably been charged five dollars a
month since I was four. But like, but I got
(32:55):
a little postcard that was invited me to participate. Of
course I did not, But what was there wrong. What
have they done? The fine print was too fine. I
didn't go that far. But I don't even want to
see how you've been fucking fuck. You know, like the
box was poisoned if you touched it poison It was
something like they weren't sending out the boxes or something
that out. But oh yeah, the deodora And I was
(33:16):
going to tell you about So I did some research, okay,
and it's like, what's boh blah blah blah. It's the
bacteria feeding on the sweat, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Okay. So, however,
we know that violently attacking bacteria, trying to strip it away, okay,
causes problems, causes more. You know, this is the age
of the microbiome. Okay. We don't pour bleach down our
(33:37):
stomach to get rid of you know, we know we
need a healthy amount. That's how we do it. Okay.
But the only way to get rid of the are
you googling? No, my hands are right here, Okay. It
was the eyes had fallen to a place where I
felt like I was I'm like, I don't think I'm
on the bottom left of her screen. You are, by
the way, the bottom left. God, that's what I need
(33:57):
to go. Okay. Um, so it's the bacteria that causes
the BO if I've let it go, and I'm like,
particularly stress, sweating while working, there's a very particular meeting
and or like hardcore writing and stress that I swear
this wet is different. I'm like, oh, God, there it is.
I stink in this, particularly because I'm not like that
much of a sweater. Okay, Now, when that happens, what
(34:20):
I've taken to it. And I'm sure I'll get wrong
for this. Okay, I'm sure they'll come after me. Neo
fucking scorn. Pop it on, fucking take the bacteria. It's gone.
And then I follow up with something I found online
island off to find the exact product, probiotic deodorant. That's right,
(34:40):
you're putting bacteria on the surface, so that's a healthy surface.
Because I read a study. Okay, No, that's not true.
That's a lie. I read an article. I read a
forum post, okay, that they were able to cure some
people's BO by transferring the bat or the transferring the
sweat and bacteria from some one without bo's under arms
(35:02):
to the under arms of the person bo introducing the
kind of good, healthy bacteria of that other person's microbiome.
Can you do that with a friend? Scrape it off?
It's got to be a different way. It's that's like
fecal implant. That's like they take the ship from somebody
with a healthy GG exactly. K to retrain n probiotic
(35:23):
deodorant by Island deodorant. I think it's called send me
the link, actually high, just send me the stuff Island
neo sporing. How often are you put a neo sport
on your pits? Very rare, okay, because what I'm doing
is I'm removing bacteria to replace with good bacteria. So
I don't think it's a perfect solution. Like you're at home,
get out of here, Okay. I take three baths the day, Okay,
(35:44):
I know I love to be I mean, at this
point quarantine literally I am, I am too plus I'm
two plus, I'm one to two a day now. The
second bath because daylight bath love real rejection of the
world as it turns eight time bath. Of course, you
know a traditional eroticism whatever, Okay, you know of the
(36:05):
evening bath. I mean, I mean we all yearned to
be the detective off duty, you know, putting the crime
scene photos aside and sinking into the bath, and then
and then and then you realize and you jump out
of the bath and you go sliding around the apartment
looking for the phone. And then then the library. They
couldn't have been there between four and eight because the
library is closed on Easter. Well, the implication by television
(36:29):
that you know that the final clue is always revealed
through you know, the b story. It needs to go
with your peanut butter cookie recipes. Jesus, I'm trying to
solve a case. Well, they're really good. You should have
a What did you say that if you crush the peanuts? First,
(36:50):
I gotta go where are you going? The second? Then
says the person the button at the end of the scene,
Oh my god, that's so money. Too many a D
we're going to add now, kids, welcome back to pe
(37:14):
double o G. That's p double o G. I do
want to talk about periogen okay, And and again classic
case didn't get the cash first, you know, this is
just authentic pray for the cash after pray for the
thank product. I thought it was a disease. No pareo
dent titus, periodontal disease, etcetera, etcetera. You know, actually it's
(37:37):
a classic case. You raised. It's like going with the
name of the doctor is the name of the So
I mean, I've brought this up one thousand times in
my life. I've probably said it on poog. But how
I resent that anal retentive gets shortened to anal because
they're not being anal. They're being you know, retentive, intentive,
right right right, not being anus like yeah, they're being
(37:58):
like an overly tight anist that can't relax. Anal was
never the issue, um anyway, So I need to be
anal whatever, you get it, all right, So periogen, Okay,
I really struggle with brushing my teeth. I don't like it. Okay,
I don't like doing it. Now if I could take
them all out individually, place some boiling water, scrubbing by hand,
(38:20):
that's a great dream, and screw them back in, that's
a dream. Technically it's dentures. But you know what I'm saying. Okay, okay,
but okay, However, I think part of the reason that
I don't enjoy it, but but it would be complete.
I think the inherent incomplete feeling of brushing one's teeth
makes it unsatisfying to me because I don't truly know
when I'm done get it out. I'm I like savory delights.
(38:43):
My I had a cat who had a you know,
beef flavored toothpaste, Right, isn't that sweet? And I'm like,
where's my pattee to fast the assumption that we want
whatever anyway? So, and I've been really struggling because I've
been depleted in the last couple weeks, and SO have
been really Like last night, I yelled, I'm in no
mood to brush my teeth, but I'm going to go
(39:04):
do it anyway, and stumped up the stairwell. Okay, I mean,
and this relates to the taxes and actually an archetype
that I think you and we both might suffer from. Okay,
the Forever Child. I was reading about it my new
um Wild Unknown Archetypes card deck Sensational. Someone actually a
poog listener, recommended it under under one of our episode things. Anyway,
I got it immediately click purchase for Forever Child. Doesn't
(39:27):
want to do the taxes, etcetera. You and me the
light side of that archetype. Okay, brings joy. See that
there's more to life than than teeth and taxes, and
that's great. And we bring light in, okay, bring lighten
and enjoy and whatever. You know, the dark side of
the Forever Child is kind of a refusal to deal
with ship that they should be dealing with. And thus,
you know, it can be dependent on others and blah
(39:48):
blah blah. All sorts of things can be irritating the other.
But I was like me and Kate, really this is
you know, and I what I believe is nice about
Pooh is that we be the forever child. We animate
the light side of the forever Child, and we el
in the in the in the joy of the humiliation
of the dark side. That's what I feel like. It
might as my life's work right now really growing up
or whatever taxes. Well, we will be talking to Clarisi
(40:10):
pincal is D's eventually talk about what Clarissa pinkal s
d s a k cpe author of Women Who Run
with the Wolves and so much more. Of course, just
like a rather bitch in town. Yeah, I truly read it.
I just want to say that because I'm going to
denigrate it. It's real, So I can't. I've always thought
it was a grotesque embarrassment on the part of consumer
(40:32):
brands in general that we have we still have to
you know, Hall Hall, that we still have to manually
exfoliate our teeth basically. Okay, it does seem ridiculous. It's like, oh,
we used to wash our hair by rubbing a stone
on our head or whatever, and then we figured out shampoo.
We forgot away do it comic bloy people, okay, and
then here we are with our teeth still manually scraping.
(40:55):
So I did some research and I found a thing
called pteriogen. Okay, it's it's a extreme water softeners. Technically,
how it works, you dissolve in water. You you either
you know water with it or you a true innovation.
It's the first thing of its kind. Swish it around.
It actually breaks down the black tartar. Okay, it actually
(41:18):
breaks it down over time. Oh my god, I've seen this.
You may have seen it because I have promoted it.
It's the only thing that potentially without any manual work
will it really seems like this is an ad But
I swear to God listeners, so we do not. I
cannot endorse and I will say, do staly gonna before
and after? But see the after? Yeah, but before not?
(41:40):
Oh christ, I hate looking at this ship anyway. Yeah,
I guess. But this is all bringing up for me
is actually I do like brushing my teeth or something.
I think the ritual. I love you love grooming. You
know I love grooming. I've spent six hours on my face.
It's not instead, No, no no, no, it's not instead. Pereogen
is working on the off hours. You seem like a
hardcore undercover Peeogen. I'm just saying this is like, no,
(42:06):
I know, I know, and you know what it brings up.
It reminds me of something genius and my cousin told
me when I was a child. Okay, when I was
going to audition for a few commercials after a summer
camp stage door manner, all right, I was really struggling
with being like, how to say the ads because as
are written in such like cheeseball right, and and so
I remember, well my cousin said to me, and I
(42:28):
think it's a genius. She was like, because she was
a young actress, She's like, when you are passionate about
a product and you're like telling your friend about it.
You do talk like that. I know it's true, Like
you are like the thing about Dentine, right, Okay, you
know like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, no, I'm like,
you know how you hate brush your death. It's like
(42:48):
Periogen is the one product in your medicine cabinet that
works when you're not working, you know what I mean. Like,
it's like it's like I should like go of the
self consciousness, you see, like I would go into the
ad audition and be a thousand times subtler than I
am when I'm telling you about peeogen and thus have
never booked. Of course. Oh my god. The job pain
(43:09):
is absolutely yeah, one time we are job pain. So
there was no place for me to even get in
the fact that I suffer a major jaw life okay,
job based life. I clenched. I clenched since childhood, and
I since childhood. My mother said she could hear it
down the hall sign of a genius grinding in the night.
Thank you. Okay, and I have ground my I guess
(43:32):
incisors down. Uh you know they could no longer pierce
a wolf in the woods. Okay, they're flattened at the
bottom um. By the way, I too have chipped the tooth.
Would you like to know how I did it? Because
I think it's pookin. Yeah. I feel I've bored you. No,
I'm sorry. My jaw just really hurt, some mean distracted.
I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I have
(43:55):
my face massager. That's not enough. Okay, which face massager?
I've got like a skin gym like the two balls
that you Yeah, that's not doing ship for you. Okay,
that's good for skin, but that isn't doing anything for
your muscle pain. Okay. Do you need to do know
that skin too? Okay, but it also kind of goes
in the muscle. No, well yeah, yeah, but that's not
(44:16):
what I have. An ice roller. No two, feeble kate.
You need to lift up your hand right now, look
at your thumb the side if it's clean, it is,
and then send it into your mouth the thumb. Oh yeah,
massage from the inside. Yeah, yeah, I've done right now.
I feel like my hand is not clean to fully
go in the mouth. Let's try it now. Oh are
(44:40):
you squeezing from both sides? The muscle is so so tight? Ah, good,
move it around, it around and then the next thing
and you can do this later. Ah, there are a gone,
I can't do a thing that really does so good?
And then see you that there's the only child or
(45:03):
the whatever in you. Okay, is that you know how
to cry in a feeling way. That's when you're gifts
like you've always like, oh not appealing. Appeeling is not
the word, but like you're able to project a baby ism.
I think it serves you. M hmm, yeah, okay, get
to get the other side. To the other side feels
(45:25):
fine though it's just this side interesting. And then you
know my fantasy is, oh god, hand flavor in the mouth, Well,
you know you have to do you have to keep
moistening your own mouth with your own saliva while you're
doing it so it doesn't sort of dry out in there,
and then you're just tasting pure hand. I know that
actually helps Jackline. That really was soothing. I'm gonna watch
(45:46):
TV massage my mouth from the inside for like an hour, yes,
and then done. What's that? Could I over massage? Never?
Oh my god? Then sorry so scared? Oh no, what
about strokes? You know, because my mouth tastes like my
hand and I just don't like that. First of all,
(46:07):
picture a lemon. Picture slicing into a lemon. Okay, dragging,
dragging the side of your tongue up the open lemon. Okay,
Now do the other side. Now, imagine a jar of
pepper and cheenie peppers unhooked the jar, Lower your face
into it, dip your tongue in and hold it there.
(46:27):
Is it watering yet at all? No? I'm fine. What
do you taste? I don't want to talk about it. Cool.
I don't want to talk about this star on the podcast.
And I respect it. I respect it. Will move on
because you're going to go down a spiral. No times,
you've only been in home. You're fine. It's just the hand.
(46:50):
It's just like my I tasted my hand in that
was broken in to say that she believes the hand
flavor is the most disgusting thing in life. How do
you feel about food hands after lunch? I always thought
that was an indignity, Okay, an indignity. Returning to the office,
you're typing and like your hand passes near your face
and you're like, oh cool, the tuna salad from down
the street, like has deeply permeated. I made a tuna
(47:13):
amount for lunch. I'll just say that I eat tune
amounts with a regularity. That would shock you, given the
fact that I'm off bread. I was gonna say, what
are you putting? What are you doing a gam base
but on a plate. I'm saying, not a tune amount
in my book, But I hear you, well, yeah, I
mean it's it's it's what do you put it on?
What's the dream? What's the ideal tunamount? Oh? Wow, the
(47:36):
ease with which you said it revealed a food's not
very I mean, I mean, I'll do right, but no,
I do. I have an incredible tartein surto loaf right now.
I know you're going to disrespect this when I say it.
I'm furious the English muffin, the classics and to me
English muffin tunamount. I'm not anti English muffin, the English muffin.
(47:57):
I don't purchase them. No, I mean I would have
one in fifteen. I wanted cinnamon raisen English muffin right now,
more than I've ever wanted anything. Cinnamon raisin bagel combined
with chive cream cheese. Oh, I don't know about that.
For me, You're a fool you're a fool if you
don't know. Okay, welcome to Jewish cuisine. Okay, first of all,
(48:17):
how dare you? I had to go there? Okay, and
I almost mother earlier when you've forgotten about the existence
of rye, but then you said it. I could never
forget rye. No, the combo of the sweet and the
savory certainly makes its way onto platters. Chive, I would
eat it for drink wine. You drink wine along with
(48:39):
a savory meal. Why wouldn't you have a grape with
an onion. You'll have a grape with an onion at dinner.
I'm just saying, try it. Okay. It's the kind of
mistake that's some you know, it happens accidentally kind of
or something. Okay, it's it's perfection. I mean, it's it's perfection.
I was actually thinking about getting bagels this weekend, so
it's funny you say that. That was my big plan.
I was going to do a special Baiel Unlock Sunday
(49:01):
kind of a thing. I tried to join them the
other night and and failed the forms. Frankly, it was
the forms in a way newms an app that's supposed
to what again, new is by the way, I think
now is a sponsor. Isn't it not a sponsor? We
said no. We said no because we don't promote weight loss.
(49:21):
We don't want to promote weight loss things. So anyway,
newm is an app that I noticed when I was
doing my taxes. I go, what's this? What's this hundred
and fifty dollar charge? Last year? Oh my god? One night,
in a panic, okay, I signed up for now. I'd
(49:41):
be had a hundred and fifty dollars for something which
is a major investment in the app world. Yeah, that's
h okay, the subscription of that kind. Deciding that I
was committing to say and then completely forgot. So the
other night I see some new ad and I go,
let me, let me look at this, because I frankly
found their staggering okay, okay and the success people have had,
(50:03):
and one of their ads they act like they're doing
something different, and so I'm get curious and I go,
are they I look and their claim is that they're
using cognitive behavioral therapy to completely change your relationship to food. Okay, fine,
all from the comfort of an app. I actually do
believe in the ability of apps to take you through
cognitive processes. Okay. I was an early adopter of some
(50:24):
rogue apps that have since disappeared. I go like, I
let me try that again. And then I opened it
up and it's like, yeah, this app no longer exists,
like whatever, So I go onto new I go, this
makes sense to me. I'm exhausted by my food addiction experiences.
Let's see maybe this thing will will help me. I
was so sold on the marketing. They were like, it's CBT,
(50:45):
and then they go and this is the first part
of their CBT. They go like, we want you to
identify the reason you want to lose weight, okay, And
I'm like uh. And then I was like okay. I
was like okay, They're like, right it in here. I'm
like Jesus, okay, I'm like, all right, where the hell
or the supportive questions they're gonna lead me to that answer,
(51:05):
right horse? So I just righte in like belly fat,
belly hatred or something, okay. I like like like, I
was like, I'm not working around like whatever. And then
they're like it can be an event like your wedding
or something, okay, like whatever, And then it was like okay,
you put in your goal. Now you want to dig
a little deeper, Like what's what's it really about? They
(51:25):
give you three opportunities to dig deeper without helping you
cognitively figure out a way to dig deeper. I was
lying there and I just go, I don't know, and
I don't even know if I want to now. I
was willing to accept that and move forward. And then
I move forward. I put in some bullshit okay, belly,
and then like I hate self or something okay, and
I wanted them to see the truth, you know what
(51:46):
I mean or whatever. I don't know. I think there's
a person reading that live going oh god, so itself. Oh.
And then they started with like, well, just to get
you started before you even really get into it's just
a couple of tips on day one, you know. And
they started talking about volume meeting okay, and how you
know a bowl of grapes, We'll fill you up more
than a bowl of the same amount of raisins. And
(52:10):
I'm like, I'm like I know, okay. And then they
started in with something that like basically endorsed carbs. Oh.
They had a quiz okay where they said, like testing
you on your knowledge what's your best bet for losing weight?
And they were like, hey, it was like cut carbs.
B was like connect to your local community. Yeah, okay,
da dada, And I was just like, fuck you, gosh.
(52:32):
I clicked to cut carbs because I knew they were
trying to set me up for the fall, you know
what I mean. No, you're at noon, you can eat
whatever you want. It's not about that, okay. And it's like, well,
what if I don't want to eat carbs? Because I
know they fucked me. I don't know. It sucks. It
was a really dark moment. And then I was like,
I was so disappointed because I bought into the promise
(52:52):
of CBT, and if if it delivered true CBT cognitive
behavioral therapy, you know, I'd be selling it right now
so hard, and I just it disappointed me. I felt robbed.
I had to put in an email address, I had
to create a password, okay, and that takes energy. Whatever.
I'm disappointed me. You don't need newm you need you.
(53:12):
I need a loom and a community with which to loom.
You don't need them, you need you. Mm hmmm. I'm
I'm gonna about to go get in the bed with
a scoop with a cup rather of Coconut Cult gelato,
which I would like a free shipment of yesterday. And
I believe I actually reached out to Coconut Cult on
(53:34):
Instagram and I begged for free product. This is like
maybe a year ago. They did nothing. This is a
new call to Coconut Cult. This is a new call.
And guess what, I'm going to reach out again formally.
But I love the gelato. I'm gonna have Coconut Cult.
I scream in bed and I'm going to watch the
Heaven Skate doc. A massage my jaw, use the theragun
on that job. I can't wait to discuss Heaven. Actually,
(53:54):
I can't wait for my vehicle to discuss Heaven's skate
with your vehicle. You'll know what that means shortly. Oh
my god. Okay, love you, Love you. That was poog.
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