July 11, 2025 • 49 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, this is Andre Butler, pastor of Faith Experience Church.
You're listening to the Faith Experience podcast. Thank you for
joining us. We hope that this message helps you engage
your faith and experience the future God has for you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, today, we're continuing our series Blue Table Talk. As
anybody enjoyed Blue Table Talk, as I helped anybody in here.
I actually thought we would be done with this series,
maybe a couple of weeks ago, but I still have
some things in my heart and I think there's some
more things to talk about, and so we're going to
continue to do that today. Of course, if you're hearing
this series for the first time, we've been talking about
(00:37):
the fact that God actually cares about our family lives,
that he wants our family lives to be one of
the best parts of our lives. And yet for so
many people that is simply not the reality. For so
many people that are dealing with broken hearts, they have
broken marriage just to have broken children. And one of
the reasons that's true is because we've been infected with
(00:58):
ideas about family that are contrary to God's word, God's ways,
And that's where we got the title of this series
from Blue Table Talk, because the popular series online called
Red Table Talk happens to be one of the tools
that has been used, I believe by the enemy to
get people the wrong ideas about how to successfully.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Have a family life.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And if you look around at the world around us,
in fact, you can even look at some of our lives,
you can see that those ideas simply don't work. So
what we've been doing is going back to the Bible,
going back to the creator of family life, and seeing
what he has to say about how to do family
the right way. And so two weeks ago we had
(01:39):
a fun time talking about sex.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I have to tell you, I've never.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Heard from so many men how great the message was.
And my twenty plus years of ministry, as I've heard
this last these last two weeks, thank you for one
male amen nod, I'm messing the yeah. Well, of course
we learned that, you know, sex and marriage is God's idea,
that it's a good thing, that Adam and Ebra getting
(02:07):
it all in the garden, right. We learned that it's
supposed to be very pleasureful, evil, even intoxicating, that God
wants it to be great, that you're supposed to prioritize
sex in your marriage because sex and marriage is covenant.
You've actually entered into a covenant with them to meet
their sexual needs all the days of their life on
(02:31):
the day you said I do. And so sex is
not something that they earn, it is something that is
actually old.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
We've also learned that.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
This is important because God doesn't want you or your
spouse tempted sexually. And that's what happens when you don't
meet your spouse's need, is that now they have to
deal with all the sexual temptation that we know is.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Everywhere in this world.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And then last say, we learned that great sex is
other focus that you need to focus on meeting their
need versus just your own. And then we gave you
some guidelines for having the sex talk. Any married couples
have the sex talk. You don't have to put your
hand up, but you can if you want. And I
guess none of y'all did, or none of y'all old
enough to put your hand up. So well, we gave
you a couple of things to do. We said, number one,
(03:17):
talk about what level of frequency is good for each other.
Ask if you have sex enough for your partner. Number two,
establish a sex schedule. Remember the seventy two hour cycle.
You're wondering what that is, you might want to listen
to the message. Number three talk about what great sex
looks like to you communicate often. Number four talk about
sexual desires and fantasies. We learn that romance and variety
(03:38):
is a good thing. And then number five talk about
how you like your spouse to look. Today, we're going
to talk about money. The number one reason people divorce
is not because of infidelity. The reason they divorce between
five to seven years within a marriage, and fifty percent
of marriages fail is financial.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
What happens is one of.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
The pair does not have the same objectives financially as
the other. Maybe they outspend, or maybe they have huge
credit card debts, maybe they just don't care. But if
you're not in sync with each other about money, it
ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And that's really true.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
When we think about marriage, we think about being in love,
and it's important obviously for a man and a woman
to fall in love and to stay in love. And
we've talked about some things that will help with that,
but don't kid yourself. Money matters too, and if the
money issue is not handled correctly, it can have a
(04:43):
huge impact on the quality and let's be frank, the
longevity of the marriage.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It is extremely.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Important for men and women to get on the same
page when it comes to money. And let me go
a step farther, it's extremely important to to handle money
in marriage the way God intended.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And so let's go to first time with you. Chapter
five and verse eight.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
It reads, but if anyone does not provide for his
own and especially for those of his household, he has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. The
new Libing translation says that if he doesn't care for his relatives,
especially those in their own household.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
So notice that God is talking about the man.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And if you look at the context he's actually talking
about he'd been talking about widows and you know, making
sure widows were taken care of by their family members
or by the church.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And in the middle of that conversation, he says, if
you got any man, any man.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Because God's not really into excuses, and all the men
in here, I hope you were raised by men or
have many in your life that would teach you that
you really got to get past making excuses.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Oh thank you for that. One female lady. Man, let
me try it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Again, I said, all the men in here, did somebody
tell you to start with the excuses?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Hey man?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And a lot of times you talk about this, you
hear a whole lot of excuses. I posted a video
about this a couple of weeks ago, and it's still
going viral and people having arguments on over this issue
of whether or not the man should be the one
providing for the wife, or if the wife should or
shouldn't work, And a lot of them didn't even bother
to actually watch the video because the video it literally
starts by saying it is okay for a woman to work,
(06:35):
that's great, but God's will is that she not have
to work. And there's all kind of well, you know,
in this world today you can't do that, and all
this other stuff, and God not really care her caring
about your ideas. He knows what the world looks like
in twenty twenty three, just like he did in twenty
(06:56):
three BC.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
And when he's that.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Who is responsible for providing for the home.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
He looks at the man.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
In fact, this opening in scripture is really something because
he's saying that the man is not only supposed to
provide for his own house.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
But he's also saying he's.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Supposed to provide even for the widows in his family.
And if you keep reading the scripture as we just
finished reading, he says, a man who does not do
this has denied the faith. He's a Jesus denier, maybe
not with his words, with his actions, but with his actions.
And our scripture that talked about how you can deny
(07:38):
the faith by what you do, and says this guy's
even worse than an infidel. And I guess one of
the ways that we could see that that's clearly true
is that people that don't even believe in God take
care of their families.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
And so you can see here that.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
As far as God is concerned, it is the man's
job to provide for the home. The word provide here
means to consider in advance, that is, lookout for beforehand.
And of course, if you look at the translations, or excuse me,
you look into a little bit more detail into the definition,
it refers to maintenance of others. So we're talking about food, clothes,
(08:16):
and shelter. Notice he's not referring to Louis Vatan's that's
not maintenance. Now, some lady say, yes, it is, I
need my Louis. But that's not what he's talking about
the first time. With the chapter five, he's talking about
providing the basic needs of the home. So God is saying,
(08:37):
the man is the one that should be making sure
we have food. He's the one that shoul be making
sure we have clothes. He's the one that too be
making sure we have shelter. It's his responsibility to do
that and not just for those in his own house.
And some would argue, well, he's talking about widows. This
has nothing to do with his wife. That's the dumbest
argument I think I ever heard, because God is not
telling you to take care of widows.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
In your family but not take care of your own wife.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Idea here is take care especially of those who are
living in your house, as well as other relatives in
your family who can't take care of themselves. Right, So
he's telling us here man that the man is the
one that's supposed to do that. And if you look
at it this way you might get a hold of this.
God sees the man as the gift that he gave
(09:21):
to the rest of the family to provide for them.
The man is God's gift to the wife. The man
is God's gift to the children. And part of what
he provides is food, clothing, and shelter.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And so when a man's not.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Doing that, God says, hey, this guy, he's really a bum.
I just kind of did an Andre Butler translation of
that scripture. I did come across this quote that jumped
out of me. He said, you deserve a man who
loves you enough to get up and go to work
for both of you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
That jumped out at me. That, yeah, that you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
That's how God intended for this thing to work. Now,
let me reiterate, there is nothing wrong with a woman working.
There is nothing wrong. It's a wonderful thing. A lot
of times God's call them to work in some way
or another do some amazing things. But there is something
wrong with her having to work so we have food, clothing,
and shelter. Okay, that's not God's intention. God didn't design
(10:25):
her to carry that responsibility.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Now she can do it, but there will be a price.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
And you might hear to to say, pastor, I hear
what you're saying, but we're not there right now. And
I get that most of us may not be there
right now, what I'm trying to tell you is the
best thing to do is to work toward getting there.
I'm not saying it's sin if your wife works and
helps you out, but what I am saying is that
God's best for you is to get to a place
where you can provide those basic necessities. Now, if y'all
(10:55):
want to buy a whole bunch of other stuff, you
know she's working, or do that, okay, But but y'allim
that you work toward the place where she does not
have to work. And we're gonna talk a little bit
today about how to get there, because it's really what
God wants for you in your marriage relationship. And why
is that because for women, financial security is.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Really really important.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Women need to feel financially secure, and it's best when
they feel financially secure because their man has taken care
of the issue. And let me go a step farther
with this, fellas, because one of the things that hinders
women from you know, being interested in sex or performing
in sex the way you want is when they have
(11:40):
a lot on their mind. Men use sex to distress.
Women need to distress to have sex. So if you
were able to take this off her plate where she
didn't have to think about this and think about that.
What happens is you free her to focus on you.
I'm preaching better y'all saying hey, any day, I'm I'm
a pat myself from a beck, I'm pull up. So
(12:04):
you really want to work toward being the full provider.
And let me go a different direction with this as well.
This means that downsizing is not of the devil. And
you know a lot of times when you talk about this,
and I saw this in the comments that on, particularly
in my YouTube channel, Well you say downside, she leaving
(12:25):
downsized into problem. She don't want to downside. I ran
across some great videos and the man saying to his wife,
you know, hey, we got to do something different financially,
and he says, how about we just get you know,
a little smaller house, and and and down said no.
And what what the choice you're making as a wife
when that need when that is what needs to be done,
(12:46):
and you are bucking against him trying to do his job,
is you're choosing things over happiness. So you're making a
decision that you would rather have luxury than security, and so.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You're hurning your marriage you know, you want.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Nice things instead of a nice marriage, where if you
just were a little patient, you could have a nice marriage,
a great marriage, and eventually have great things. You just
have to be willing to make the adjustment. I saw another
great comment online. I just happened to run across this,
and this guy said this. He said, I'm trying to
(13:29):
be rich and she's trying to look rich, and he said,
I can't take it anymore, so he ended the marriage. Now,
you don't end the marriage over there. But that's not
how this is supposed to work. The man should be
working toward us being financially independent, right but before we
even get there, he should be working toward me, me
being in a place where I'm providing.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
The necessities in the house, and she should be working
with him in that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
When you have the mentality that I pay for this,
you pay for that, you actually are are operating as too.
How is that different than roommates. I mean a lot
of us have roommates in college or beyond, and you
know we're used to splitting up the costs. But you know,
your life with your roommates not supposed to be what
(14:20):
your marriage is supposed to.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
It is not supposed to represent what your marriage is like.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Right, you get married so you can move beyond a
roommate relationship. And so what happens is when you have
that type of mentality, uh you you have, you open
the door to all kinds of issues. One of them
is that one or the other spouse uses money as
a weapon. Well, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not
gonna pay for this. We're not gonna have this until
(14:44):
you do this. And it is a bad idea to
use sex as a weapon or money as a weapon.
If the goal is for us to be bonded, to
be one and and be close emotionally, then doing that
actually rips us apart. Nothing that happens, and is that
(15:06):
it's important is that, you know, you end up having
disagreement about money and how it's spent. You know, so
you're you're like, well, how much money did you just
spend over here? And I can't even pay these bills?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
How much?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And she or she said, you just went out and
bought this car. Well that's my money. You bought a
car and we didn't talk about it. But since the
money it's separate, I guess technically he's right, And you
can see there's just all kinds of problems in this area,
just like any other area, when you do it differently
than what God intended. When you are married, you become
one in every area, name, aim, direction, finances, et cetera.
(15:44):
And if you're single and you're not comfortable mixing funds
with somebody that you're married to, don't get married because
you're not ready yet. You got to understand the way
that this is supposed to work is that you are one. Now,
let me say one more thing about this as well.
That is that you know, if you are one and
the man is in a position where he's doing the
(16:06):
best he can to bring in income, but he doesn't
make it just enough to do what we just finished
talking about, right, he's working toward get into the place
where he's providing in such a way that she doesn't
need to work. Well in that case, ladies, do not
emasculate him. Do not make him feel like he's less
(16:26):
than a man because he needs your help, because why
did God bring you to.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
That man to help?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
And so don't make him feel bad because you are
helping him. Let him know you love him, you support him,
and together you can work toward the goal that God
has for you. Let me take it to another good
Proverby chapter twenty seven, y'all so quiet today, y'all get
anything out of this? Dave Ramsey says this. He says,
(16:56):
separate checking accounts mean one of two things, either ignorance
or problems. So you want to do it together, and
you know there's a couple of ways to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I mentioned this.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
That I heard online, and you know you're talking to
one individual said this. You know, have your combined account
where you pay all of your family expenses from. Have
your other account where you have your savings, or both
of your names said, you both have to sign for
that account, you know, so nobody can just pull savings
out of that.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
If you need to do that, then have an account.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
That's his spending money and an account that's her spending money. Now,
if you do what we're about to talk about, then
you've already you've already come up with they plan together
on how we're going to spend our money. So you've
already decided how much would be in his spending account
and her spending account. So that means that she doesn't
have to call him every time she wants to spend
(17:54):
money out of that account, and he doesn't have to
call her every time he wants to buy some that
he want to buy something at Dick's Sporting Goods out
of this account. We've already agreed. You get two hundred
dollars every two weeks. I get two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Every two weeks. Do what you want with that money.
It's our money.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's just I'm putting this in your pocket and you're
putting this in my pocket. So that's just one way
of looking at it. To make sure that we're doing
things together. Because the Bible says, how can two walk
together except they be agreed? And how can two walk
together as a married couple if they're separate financially proverse
twenty seven. Let's go a step farther with this. This
(18:34):
is talking to the man so but of course it
applies to the family life. He says, be diligent to
know the state of your flocks and attend to your herbs,
for riches are not forever, nor does the crown endure
to all generations. When the hay is removed and a
(18:55):
tender grass shows itself, and the herds in a mountain
are not gathered in. The lambs will buy your clothing.
The goats the price of a field. You should have
a goat's milk for your food, for the food of
your household, and the nourishment of your maidens. Now Proverbs
twenty seven once again is talking to men, and I
just want you to notice that once again God's expecting
(19:17):
the man to provide. And so he mentions that if
you do what I'm saying, you'll have clothing, you'll have food,
You'll be able to buy the field or buy some land,
which means you could probably put a house on it,
among other things. And so he's talking to the man
about making sure those needs are meant. But he gives
(19:37):
some additional instruction here that is important when he says,
be diligent to know the state of your flocks and
look well to your hers Now, I doubt there's anybody
in here today that has flocks or herbs, not in Detroit, Michigan.
(19:59):
But understand that back then and instilled in places in
our country and the world, flocks and the herds represented
people's financial lives. You know, you're talking about a shepherd
or when a shepherd made money from his flocks and
his herds. So when God says, hey, pay attention to
(20:21):
the state of your flocks and look well to your hurts,
he said, hey, make sure you are financially healthy. Do
what it takes to be financially healthy. Don't just know
where you are, how many of you got, and how
well they're doing, but make sure you do what necessarily
all of them are doing well so you can sell them,
live off of them or whatever. And the principle applies
(20:43):
to us today as a family unit. We need to
do what it takes to be financially healthy. And that's
how you get to the place where the man is
providing the food and the clothes and the home. And
then we have more than that, and we're blessed to
be a blessing is because we were serious about knowing
(21:06):
the state of our financial life. Looking well to our
financial life, and that starts with knowing the state of it.
One other way of saying that is having a budget.
Somebody say budget. Now, that's also not a cuss word.
I'm not cussling in the pulpit today. Downsize is the
(21:27):
cuss word. Budget isn't the cuss word. What is a budget?
It is simply a plan for spending money, and if
you don't tell your money where to go, your money
will just go. Anybody ever noticed that Henybible talks about
being in a place where you seem to put money
(21:47):
in pockets with holes in it. Anybody ever had that experience?
You're like, wait a minute, I just got paid, how
come I'm broke? And take a minute you start thinking about, well,
you know, I did go to Jay Alexander's three times
last week, and I did spend two hours at at
the mall, and and then we did Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Yeah, that's that's where it went.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
And that's the kind of stuff that happens when you
don't have a plan for your money. So one of
the things that a married couple needs to do every
month is sit down and actually document every penny that
we all, and document every penny that is coming in,
and document every need we will have, and then then
(22:32):
plan for the money to go where is needed. Now,
somebody may say that sounds really tough and difficult.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
It's actually not. At first.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's gonna take a little bit of work, but after
a while, you're it'll be easy. I happen to like,
I'm a big believer in Dave Ramsey's Financial Ministry. In fact,
if there is a book I would recommend to you
based on this message, and you know I'm always.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Recommending books to you guys.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's called Total Money Makeover, and he walks through every
piece of this. And they have a great software called
every Dollar and I use this myself as on a website,
is on an app, so that every month they actually
have laid out for you a budget, so all you
have to do is plug the numbers in. And I
know that's just one of many many tools that are
(23:15):
out here, but as a married couple, you need to
every single month have a budget, a zero based budget
that means that we are spending every dollar that comes in.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
That includes putting into savings.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
But my point is that you're accounting for every dollar
that comes in and you're making sure that you're not
spending more than what's coming in. But it's something that
you need to do is sit down and have a budget,
and then you need to have a weekly money meeting.
Every week. Put a day on the calendar, put a
(23:53):
time on the calendar where we're gonna sit down.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
And talk about the money.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
And of course once a month we're sitting down and
do on the budget. But the other weeks, we're going
to sit down and talk about, Okay, what did we spend,
how are we doing with the budget, what unexpected income
our issues came up, or what unexpected costs came up.
Where do we need to make some adjustments. Maybe we
had to take some money from here to put it
over here. But you're having that discussion every week, and
(24:18):
that'll help you to stay on the same page. Something
like seventy percent of married couples fight about money, and
part of the reasons what we talked about a couple
of weeks ago because we don't communicate, and so one
of the best ways to make sure you communicate when
it comes to money is put a day and time
on a calendar where we sit down and we talk
(24:39):
about where we are and what we need to do
differently so that we are walking together financially. Anybody get
anything out of this turned in and telling money matters,
turn them out and telling money matters.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Budgeting yourself is a marriage saveror having a weekly.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Money meeting is a marriage saver, and then spending.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Less than you owe or less than you make is
a marriage savor.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So that might mean we sit here and realize we're
paying too much for this house, We're spending too much
money going out to eat. Maybe we need to cut
back on, you know, on buying this or that or
this hobby. And it's a tough conversation. Your flesh will scream,
(25:38):
especially women's flesh, because they like to spend money. In general,
in general, guys don't spend as much, although there are
some guys that whoa, but women like things pretty things.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Come man, I'm not gonna get amen here. Amen. I mean,
I grew up.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I grew up in a home where I was with
my mama and my two sisters all the time. And
then on Sundays, every Sunday, after church, my mom and
her best friend, my Auntie, would take us to the
mall and it would be my mom, my sisters, my
two boy cousins and their mom and we would suffer
(26:23):
every Sunday. Okay, my mother loves to shop. I've got
a daughter that loves to shop. And then this child's
working two jobs right now. She don't need to work
two jobs. She just likes to spend money. So I'm like, well,
you know, hey, if you're gonna work to do it,
I don't have much to say to you, but she
(26:45):
just loves to spend money, so I know what I'm
talking about. For men it is not as much of
an issue in general, there's always exceptions, but for women
sometimes it can be. And you've got to make a
decision to do what it is it takes to be
financially healthy. Now, I think Dave Ramsey says, you know,
do today what people won't do, so you can do
(27:05):
later what people can't do.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Right, You paid the price.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Now so that later on we can go ahead and
enjoy our life without financial pressure, without money being an
issue in our marriage, but instead it being something that
we are able to use to bless others and bless ourselves. Now,
let's go, step father Proverbs twenty two. Go there with me,
if you would. Somebody said, again, money matters. The rich
(27:35):
rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to
the lender. The rich rules over the poor, and the
borrower is servant to the lender. Now, I just want
you to if you could almost draw a line in
your Bible from the rich to the lender and from
(27:55):
the poor to the borrower, because that's really kind of
what this part of what he's showing us here.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Is that the rich are the ones.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That don't borrow, and the poor are the ones that
borrow all the time. And God doesn't want you in
a position where you are the servant or the slave
to any man. But that is the position that we
are in when we are in debt. When you are
(28:33):
in debt, you don't just go to work to pay
for your needs as a family, but you're going to
work to pay all of the people you owe money to.
It's like you bought a car from GM, and you
bought it, you got a loan for that car, but
you work at GM. Well what's happening is you're going
(28:57):
to work at GM so GM could pay, so you
could turn around and pay GM. In fact, let's ask
this question, what organizations are you a slave to right now?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Who are you really working for? Is it GM? Is
it Chrysler? Is it Wells Fargo? Is it?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Because I'm here to tell you that's not God's best
for you. And one of the reason why we have
so much financial pressure on our lives and stress in
our marriages is simply because we just have so much debt.
And somebody told us that that's how you have to live.
We've almost got this idea in our head that you
can't live without debt. And I went to business school.
(29:45):
So I remember going to business school and being in
the classes where they would show you how to leverage
debt and how if you leverage debt correctly, then it's
going to help you to have greater opportunities. And I
remember even then, being in my early twenties thinking, Okay,
this looks great, but what happens.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
If you can't pay the bill?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
And so people they'll push that, but they don't every
want to talk about the fact that there are times
in life where all of a sudden, the economy crashes
or somebody lose the job, or something else is going on,
and that debt that you were leveraging you can't pay,
and now they can take from you everything you own.
The best way to live is to live debt free,
(30:31):
and that's actually best for your marriage and your family.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
And God understands us.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Look at you that I'm in twenty eight, and if
you look at you that I'm in twenty eight, you'll
find out that the Bible talks about the curse and
the blessing, and it talks about how you know if
you disobey God under the law back then you would
deal with the curse in your life. And part of
the curse was that you would work hard to give
that money to somebody else, that you would be the
(31:03):
borrower instead of the lender. That was part of the curse.
Do you think God wanted his people to ever have
any part of the curse? In fact, the Bible says
that Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law.
We celebrated a death burier on resurrection of Jesus last week.
Part of the reason he did what he did, It
wasn't the biggest one, but it was part of it well,
(31:24):
so that we would not have any part of the
curse in our lives, including financial lack, because see, if
I have to borrow, that means I don't have enough.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
He came to free you from the curse of the law.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And what's happened is we've been told and talked this
is that red table talk way of thinking.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Is that why I have to get dead.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
If I want a car, if I want a house,
we have to go ahead and get Alan. If I'm
gonna send my kids to this school, we gotta get Alan.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
For this. If.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Hey, if I'm gonna get a couch, I gotta get alan.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Hey, check it out.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
I don't have to pay for five years. I remember
doing that earlier in my life. You know, got a
big screen TV and thought I was doing something. It
was a nice and it was like, no payments for
sixty months. I'm like six, that's five years. Yes, man,
I signed up for that thing. Maybe sign up for
a couple of other things. I'm thinking I'm doing good.
(32:18):
I'm watching my TV, thinking I'm special, until all of
a sudden, those bills came in, and not only are
you paying for the TV, but you're paying all the
interest that comes from waiting five years to pay for
the TV. All of a sudden, the TV don't look
(32:39):
so good. Come on, and some of us.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Our whole house is debt. The couch is debt, the
bed is deat. The baby is debt. Come on, you
couldn't even pay for the baby, yeah, vacation is that?
Everything is debt. Now you wonder why we always at
each other's throats. We don't love each other anymore?
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yes, you do, but you got so much financial pressure
on you you can't even get through that to even
remember why you were with each other because somebody told
you debt is good when dead is not God's plan
for you. Remember a number of years ago, and my
dad and I were driving in the car, and of
course I'm grown by this time, and so I kind
of wish he had this revelation beforehand. But he said,
(33:25):
he said, Son, you know, I realized that there are
many bankers living in the houses on the beach somewhere
off of my interest. And his whole point was, Son,
you need to work on getting out of debt. And
since then, he's gotten out of debt. You heard him
talk about it. He's gotten completely out of debt, gotten
their church out of debt. And by the way, this
(33:47):
church is out of debt. We don't have debt in
this building.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
We don't. That's not something we do.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
But I remember I'm saying that, and I had never
heard a sing like that before. How many people are
getting rich off of my impatience? How much money am
I paying other people because I want to keep using that?
And by the way, I'm continuing to keep my put
(34:16):
myself in financial peril and keep continuing to have financial stress.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
In my marriage. No, man, this isn't right.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And if you're like me, you know you probably wish
you had heard some of this ten, fifteen, twenty thirty
years ago. I've been telling my kids since they were little,
no doubt, and they've heard me say so they roll their.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Eyes, and I'm serious, they do roll their eyes. But
anybody got teenagers in here, you know I'll be like,
did you just roll your eyes?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
But the point is because we didn't understand this, that
there's a way to do this where you are free
from debt.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And what is your life like when your best.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Income producing tool, your wealth producing tool, which is your paycheck,
comes in and you don't owe anybody anything? Come on,
how much money do you have? And how much can
you save up or give if when you get paid,
you're not paying for the car, You're not paying for
(35:26):
the house. Come on, you're not paying paying for the
credit card, you're not paying the school loan.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Just think about it for a second. How much money
do you have?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
A lot of people make a lot of money in
their lifetimes, probably most people in this room. You probably
gonna make at least a million dollars in your lifetime.
But you say, well, I only got five dollars on
my account deb you had it come in and you
had it go out instead of saving it and investing it.
(36:03):
And if you don't have to make a lot of
millionaires did not make six figures. Most millionaires did not
inherit their money. Politicians will tell you that, well, you know,
they'ma made them. That's not statistically true. They just found
a way to be financially disciplined.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Somebody say discipline.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
And that's why even some of the most rich people
you ever meet in the world don't look rich. And
you can always tell sometimes when somebody is rich and
somebody's faking.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
It, because when they're faking it, everything is a brand.
The car is everything looks like I'm rich. I'm rich,
So I'm rich, And you're thinking, yeah, yeah, I bet you.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
When you go home, you're pulling your hair out. You
find a millionaire and they don't have some nice things.
Don't get me wrong, but they have enough sense to
recognize that.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I don't have to have all these flashy things.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
What's more important is is that I'm actually financially healthy
and my marriage is strong. Then I have the latest whatever, whatever, whatever.
Since I've been talking about Dave Ramsey, I want to
give you the steps that he uses to get out
of debt. And I'm gonna tell you again, I want
you to get the book told the Money Makeover. In fact,
one of the things I want to do in this
(37:16):
church is have Financial Peace University be one of our small.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Groups because they walk you through a system.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I need some leaders to step up to do it
because our team can't do everything. But because of this
is so important and money matters, and it matters to
your marriage. So let me give you some of the
baby steps that Dave Ramsey gives. Number one, sit down
and do a budget. Number two, catch up on any
(37:42):
outstanding bills. So when you start getting that budget, you
might see, I got this, this is this area, this
is due, this is late, this is late, this is latest.
You sit down and figure out where you are financially
and start working towards getting rid of those bills. Number three,
put one thousand dollars in savings that you cannot touch
except for emergencies.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Now already you.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
May be saying, Pastor, if I could catch up with
my outstanding bills, I'd already done that.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
If I have a thousand dollars to put over here,
I would do it. But I don't.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
This is where you've got to get very intense about
finding ways to increase your income. What do you mean
by that? There's probably some stuff in your house you
don't need anymore that you can sell. You ain't even
seen that thing in five years. You found it in
the closet in the corner, and you can sell it
for twenty dollars. Sell it, Take the twenty and put
(38:33):
it toward the one hundred that you owe on that
one bill. But get serious about this because it matters,
because it matters as an impact on your marriage, which
is the foundation for everything in your home life. Something
else you might have to do is pick up another
job for a season. I know we don't like this.
(38:54):
I know it's vegetables, but you'll be shouting if you
do it. And you do it and you see the results.
You know, a couple of years ago, what I did
when I was pastoring this church for me, I pastored
most of you know. I pastored four churches. Now two
of them were mega churches, you know, so I made
a good amount of money, and then I walked away
(39:14):
from that salary. I was passing the church that was
five thousand a weekend at one point and then serving
in that ministry, and I walked away from that salary
and started this church from scratch while I had kids
and an expensive private school, and I was not pulling
them out of that private school and pulling them out
of their life in the name of a church, because
(39:36):
I've been a preacher's kid. I didn't want them to
hate God. So what I did, And some of y'all
don't know this, but I actually drove for Lyft Pastor
you did Lyft, I sure did. Now.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I didn't last very.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Long because I found out that one of the worst
cities in Detroit to drive for Lyft in or in
the country is Detroit.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I was spending more money and on.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Gas driving these trainers around then I was actually making money.
When I figured that out, I said, I'm done with left.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
But I mean I had to humble myself.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I mean, I'm speaking people up and I'm like, man,
I'm like, I'm pastor hundred, Like I hope it don't
recognize me, you know, my little lift sticker in the
window and you know, and I'm like, there's a part
of me there. I hope nobody knows. And but I'm thinking,
but I gotta take care of my family.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
You know, I gotta do what I.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Need to do, and you might just have a season
where you all gonna have to just do a little
extra just you can catch up on your bills. Let
me just get this stuff out so that I'm at
least I gotta you know, I got a clean sheet.
(40:58):
Then let me put a thousand dollars in save, so
now I have something so that next time an emergency
shows up, I have something to pull from, so I
don't end up just going right back to this place
where now I've got bills I can't pay. Next thing
they mentioned is then to do the debt snowball.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Take any extra income that you might get from another
job or selling things, and put it towards your lowest
debt you owe fifty dollars on some one hundred dollars
or five hundred everything you get, not throw it toward
that debt till you knock it out.
Speaker 3 (41:33):
Then take the.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Payment on that. Let's say you're paying twenty dollars a month,
and add that to the next highest debt. So now
I'm paying an extra twenty dollars a month on this debt,
and any extra money that's coming in, I'm throwing it
towards that. What happens is you end up with a
debt snowball. You'll end up in a position where all
the money you were using to pay for bills, you're
using to get rid of debt. And when you start
(41:55):
talking about now I'm paying off my car, and I'm
taking five hundred dollars a month, and I'm throwing it
towards whatever my other debts are.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Now we're talking about something.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
The next thing after that is then save three to
six months of your expenses. So once you've gotten rid
of got a debt, and I would say, everything is
set for your house, because your house is something you've
got to deal with later. Once you've done that, take
all that money that you were using every month to
pay for those bills, pay for that debt, and throw
it in savings, so that if the economy were to
(42:31):
crash tomorrow and everybody's running for their lives, you know
you're gonna be all right for six months. And I
would add this, keep cash in your house, not all
your cash, but some cash.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Because you some of them.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I remember a couple maybe about ten years ago or so,
there was a blackout here in Detroit. What happens if
you can't get to the bank or there's an EMP
attack and nothing works electronically. You don't want to be
in a position where you don't have cash. Put cash
in the house, in a safe Can I be a
pastor for a moment, make sure you have something in
(43:08):
the house. So if something happened, and you know, we
are living in this world all kinds of crazy stuff's happening.
We just came from COVID nineteen. You don't know what
the next thing is going to be. As a man,
protects your family. But even beyond that, put three to
six months in savings, and then there's some other things
that we can do. I'm out of time, but I
encourage you to get a hold of that book Total
(43:29):
Money Maker, because.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
They really walks through that process with you.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Listen, when your marriage is in trouble because of finances,
When your finances are in trouble because of a lack
of discipline, the last thing you should do if you're
trying to get out.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Of a hole is keep digging the hole.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Let me go use the credit card even more, Let's
go buy something else we can't afford let's go on
that vacation that we really shouldn't be going on. Yes,
we need a vacation, but it's gonna have to be
a staycation. You've got to have a netflixation. And don't
get me wrong, there is a side of this I
always try to get to today, which is believing God.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Man.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You can put your faith out here and God will
help you get the money to get caught up and
get the money to wipe out your desk and get
the money to have the money in savings and get
the money so you can go on that vacation and
everything is paid for and you can really enjoy yourself.
And He'll do that when you show him that money matters,
(44:31):
that you want to be faithful with the money he's
already given you, because the Bible says that you're faithful
over that which is least. God knows he'll make you
faithful over much.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
I want to.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Challenge you today, take this money issue seriously as a
married couple and as a family, and live the financially
free life God wants you to live together for the
rest of your lives.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Come on, give God praise and word for the Word
of God.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Thank your Father for the word. Thank you for making
things clear to us Jesus' name about everybody closed in prayer,
no one moving or walking or talking unless you've been
assigned to do so. We talked today about a very
small slipper of life.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
Right. You know that money is a part of life,
but it's not everything. We know that. But God loves
you so much.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
He cares about every detail of your life. What he
cares about most of ours. Where you're gonna spend eternity.
Jesus came, and he died, and he rose again because
God understood you needed him to. Without him, you're gonna
live your life separate from God, suffering, hurting, dissatisfied, and
(45:46):
eventually find yourself in the hell. But with him you
have a peace in your heart you don't even fully understand.
Even when you have trouble, you can overcome it. Your
life will have per and one day you'll find yourself
in heaven. That's why John three sixteen says, would says
(46:08):
God so loved the world, he so loved you, he
gave his only begodden son, that whoever would believe in
him would not perish, but would have ever lasting life.
If you've never chosen to believe in him. I want
to help you today to make the greatest decision of
your life. Someone might say, you know, I made that
(46:30):
decision pastor once upon a time, but I'm far from
God again. The Bible says in First John one nine,
which is written to believers, that if we confess of
our sins, God is faithful and just, He has the
right and you can count on Him to forgive you
and cleanse you from all that you've done. In other words,
(46:52):
you can have a fresh start with God. And I
want to help you today to do that as well.
And so I've given two really simple invitations. If you've
never believed in Jesus, you never gave him your life
like he gave you his, and you're not sure that
you would go to heaven, or you've gotten away from
God and you want to get right with God. If
(47:14):
either one of those things apply to you, I want
to encourage you right now. Or just take a moment
and lift your hand let me know so we can
pray with you.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
I see that hand.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
If you've never chosen to follow Jesus, but you're ready
to give him your life, lift your hand. You're ready
to try God lift your hand, or you've gotten away
from God, or you want to get right with him.
Lift your hand right now. We'll pray with you. I'll
see that hand, even if you're on line somewhere. Lift
your hand, because it's not really about me singing. It's
about God's sin. And I see that hand as well.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Where to God.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
God has an amazing future for you, is so much
better than what you can pray for yourself. All you
got to do is say yes to Him. If you
raise your hand or you know that you should have
raised your hand. I want to ask you to do
something else as well. I'm a prayer, very simple prayer.
I want you to pray it as well from your heart.
(48:09):
I mean, ask everybody to prayer with you, and then
watch what God does in your life. So repeat after me,
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus. I come to
today to give you my life. I believe that Jesus
Christ is the son of God. I confess with my
mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in my heart that
(48:34):
God is raised him from the dead.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
I repent of sin.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I'm sorry, Lord, I turn away from it, and I
receive you Lord. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer,
for ranshing my prayer and for saving me now and Father,
we thank you for those that have prayed this prayer
for the first time, and those who have chosen to
come home to you. We thank you that because of
(48:59):
their decision, they're a part of your family now, which
means that all of your benefits belong to them.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
Your power belongs to them.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
So I pray that your power works in their lives,
helping them to be set free from whatever trouble they're
dealing with, helping them to overcome and experience.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
What you have for them.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
I pray that you help them to know You, to
find freedom through their relationship with other believers, to grow
and to discover their god giving purpose and to make
a mark in this world. And we give you the
praising glory four now in Jesus' name. Ay Man, come on,
give a round applause. Those that made that decision great
great decisions.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Thank you for tuning in to another Faith Experience podcast.
Remember God as a future for you.
Hey, this is Andre Butler, pastor of Faith Experience Church.
You're listening to the Faith Experience podcast. Thank you for
joining us. We hope that this message helps you engage
your faith and experience the future God has for you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, today, we're continuing our series Blue Table Talk. As
anybody enjoyed Blue Table Talk, as I helped anybody in here.
I actually thought we would be done with this series,
maybe a couple of weeks ago, but I still have
some things in my heart and I think there's some
more things to talk about, and so we're going to
continue to do that today. Of course, if you're hearing
this series for the first time, we've been talking about
(00:37):
the fact that God actually cares about our family lives,
that he wants our family lives to be one of
the best parts of our lives. And yet for so
many people that is simply not the reality. For so
many people that are dealing with broken hearts, they have
broken marriage just to have broken children. And one of
the reasons that's true is because we've been infected with
(00:58):
ideas about family that are contrary to God's word, God's ways,
And that's where we got the title of this series
from Blue Table Talk, because the popular series online called
Red Table Talk happens to be one of the tools
that has been used, I believe by the enemy to
get people the wrong ideas about how to successfully.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Have a family life.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
And if you look around at the world around us,
in fact, you can even look at some of our lives,
you can see that those ideas simply don't work. So
what we've been doing is going back to the Bible,
going back to the creator of family life, and seeing
what he has to say about how to do family
the right way. And so two weeks ago we had
(01:39):
a fun time talking about sex.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I have to tell you, I've never.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Heard from so many men how great the message was.
And my twenty plus years of ministry, as I've heard
this last these last two weeks, thank you for one
male amen nod, I'm messing the yeah. Well, of course
we learned that, you know, sex and marriage is God's idea,
that it's a good thing, that Adam and Ebra getting
(02:07):
it all in the garden, right. We learned that it's
supposed to be very pleasureful, evil, even intoxicating, that God
wants it to be great, that you're supposed to prioritize
sex in your marriage because sex and marriage is covenant.
You've actually entered into a covenant with them to meet
their sexual needs all the days of their life on
(02:31):
the day you said I do. And so sex is
not something that they earn, it is something that is
actually old.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
We've also learned that.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
This is important because God doesn't want you or your
spouse tempted sexually. And that's what happens when you don't
meet your spouse's need, is that now they have to
deal with all the sexual temptation that we know is.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Everywhere in this world.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And then last say, we learned that great sex is
other focus that you need to focus on meeting their
need versus just your own. And then we gave you
some guidelines for having the sex talk. Any married couples
have the sex talk. You don't have to put your
hand up, but you can if you want. And I
guess none of y'all did, or none of y'all old
enough to put your hand up. So well, we gave
you a couple of things to do. We said, number one,
(03:17):
talk about what level of frequency is good for each other.
Ask if you have sex enough for your partner. Number two,
establish a sex schedule. Remember the seventy two hour cycle.
You're wondering what that is, you might want to listen
to the message. Number three talk about what great sex
looks like to you communicate often. Number four talk about
sexual desires and fantasies. We learn that romance and variety
(03:38):
is a good thing. And then number five talk about
how you like your spouse to look. Today, we're going
to talk about money. The number one reason people divorce
is not because of infidelity. The reason they divorce between
five to seven years within a marriage, and fifty percent
of marriages fail is financial.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
What happens is one of.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
The pair does not have the same objectives financially as
the other. Maybe they outspend, or maybe they have huge
credit card debts, maybe they just don't care. But if
you're not in sync with each other about money, it
ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
And that's really true.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
When we think about marriage, we think about being in love,
and it's important obviously for a man and a woman
to fall in love and to stay in love. And
we've talked about some things that will help with that,
but don't kid yourself. Money matters too, and if the
money issue is not handled correctly, it can have a
(04:43):
huge impact on the quality and let's be frank, the
longevity of the marriage.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It is extremely.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Important for men and women to get on the same
page when it comes to money. And let me go
a step farther, it's extremely important to to handle money
in marriage the way God intended.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
And so let's go to first time with you. Chapter
five and verse eight.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
It reads, but if anyone does not provide for his
own and especially for those of his household, he has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. The
new Libing translation says that if he doesn't care for his relatives,
especially those in their own household.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
So notice that God is talking about the man.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
And if you look at the context he's actually talking
about he'd been talking about widows and you know, making
sure widows were taken care of by their family members
or by the church.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And in the middle of that conversation, he says, if
you got any man, any man.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Because God's not really into excuses, and all the men
in here, I hope you were raised by men or
have many in your life that would teach you that
you really got to get past making excuses.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Oh thank you for that. One female lady. Man, let
me try it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Again, I said, all the men in here, did somebody
tell you to start with the excuses?
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Hey man?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And a lot of times you talk about this, you
hear a whole lot of excuses. I posted a video
about this a couple of weeks ago, and it's still
going viral and people having arguments on over this issue
of whether or not the man should be the one
providing for the wife, or if the wife should or
shouldn't work, And a lot of them didn't even bother
to actually watch the video because the video it literally
starts by saying it is okay for a woman to work,
(06:35):
that's great, but God's will is that she not have
to work. And there's all kind of well, you know,
in this world today you can't do that, and all
this other stuff, and God not really care her caring
about your ideas. He knows what the world looks like
in twenty twenty three, just like he did in twenty
(06:56):
three BC.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
And when he's that.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Who is responsible for providing for the home.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
He looks at the man.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
In fact, this opening in scripture is really something because
he's saying that the man is not only supposed to
provide for his own house.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
But he's also saying he's.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Supposed to provide even for the widows in his family.
And if you keep reading the scripture as we just
finished reading, he says, a man who does not do
this has denied the faith. He's a Jesus denier, maybe
not with his words, with his actions, but with his actions.
And our scripture that talked about how you can deny
(07:38):
the faith by what you do, and says this guy's
even worse than an infidel. And I guess one of
the ways that we could see that that's clearly true
is that people that don't even believe in God take
care of their families.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
And so you can see here that.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
As far as God is concerned, it is the man's
job to provide for the home. The word provide here
means to consider in advance, that is, lookout for beforehand.
And of course, if you look at the translations, or excuse me,
you look into a little bit more detail into the definition,
it refers to maintenance of others. So we're talking about food, clothes,
(08:16):
and shelter. Notice he's not referring to Louis Vatan's that's
not maintenance. Now, some lady say, yes, it is, I
need my Louis. But that's not what he's talking about
the first time. With the chapter five, he's talking about
providing the basic needs of the home. So God is saying,
(08:37):
the man is the one that should be making sure
we have food. He's the one that shoul be making
sure we have clothes. He's the one that too be
making sure we have shelter. It's his responsibility to do
that and not just for those in his own house.
And some would argue, well, he's talking about widows. This
has nothing to do with his wife. That's the dumbest
argument I think I ever heard, because God is not
telling you to take care of widows.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
In your family but not take care of your own wife.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Idea here is take care especially of those who are
living in your house, as well as other relatives in
your family who can't take care of themselves. Right, So
he's telling us here man that the man is the
one that's supposed to do that. And if you look
at it this way you might get a hold of this.
God sees the man as the gift that he gave
(09:21):
to the rest of the family to provide for them.
The man is God's gift to the wife. The man
is God's gift to the children. And part of what
he provides is food, clothing, and shelter.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And so when a man's not.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Doing that, God says, hey, this guy, he's really a bum.
I just kind of did an Andre Butler translation of
that scripture. I did come across this quote that jumped
out of me. He said, you deserve a man who
loves you enough to get up and go to work
for both of you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
That jumped out at me. That, yeah, that you know.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
That's how God intended for this thing to work. Now,
let me reiterate, there is nothing wrong with a woman working.
There is nothing wrong. It's a wonderful thing. A lot
of times God's call them to work in some way
or another do some amazing things. But there is something
wrong with her having to work so we have food, clothing,
and shelter. Okay, that's not God's intention. God didn't design
(10:25):
her to carry that responsibility.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Now she can do it, but there will be a price.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
And you might hear to to say, pastor, I hear
what you're saying, but we're not there right now. And
I get that most of us may not be there
right now, what I'm trying to tell you is the
best thing to do is to work toward getting there.
I'm not saying it's sin if your wife works and
helps you out, but what I am saying is that
God's best for you is to get to a place
where you can provide those basic necessities. Now, if y'all
(10:55):
want to buy a whole bunch of other stuff, you
know she's working, or do that, okay, But but y'allim
that you work toward the place where she does not
have to work. And we're gonna talk a little bit
today about how to get there, because it's really what
God wants for you in your marriage relationship. And why
is that because for women, financial security is.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Really really important.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Women need to feel financially secure, and it's best when
they feel financially secure because their man has taken care
of the issue. And let me go a step farther
with this, fellas, because one of the things that hinders
women from you know, being interested in sex or performing
in sex the way you want is when they have
(11:40):
a lot on their mind. Men use sex to distress.
Women need to distress to have sex. So if you
were able to take this off her plate where she
didn't have to think about this and think about that.
What happens is you free her to focus on you.
I'm preaching better y'all saying hey, any day, I'm I'm
a pat myself from a beck, I'm pull up. So
(12:04):
you really want to work toward being the full provider.
And let me go a different direction with this as well.
This means that downsizing is not of the devil. And
you know a lot of times when you talk about this,
and I saw this in the comments that on, particularly
in my YouTube channel, Well you say downside, she leaving
(12:25):
downsized into problem. She don't want to downside. I ran
across some great videos and the man saying to his wife,
you know, hey, we got to do something different financially,
and he says, how about we just get you know,
a little smaller house, and and and down said no.
And what what the choice you're making as a wife
when that need when that is what needs to be done,
(12:46):
and you are bucking against him trying to do his job,
is you're choosing things over happiness. So you're making a
decision that you would rather have luxury than security, and so.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You're hurning your marriage you know, you want.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Nice things instead of a nice marriage, where if you
just were a little patient, you could have a nice marriage,
a great marriage, and eventually have great things. You just
have to be willing to make the adjustment. I saw another
great comment online. I just happened to run across this,
and this guy said this. He said, I'm trying to
(13:29):
be rich and she's trying to look rich, and he said,
I can't take it anymore, so he ended the marriage. Now,
you don't end the marriage over there. But that's not
how this is supposed to work. The man should be
working toward us being financially independent, right but before we
even get there, he should be working toward me, me
being in a place where I'm providing.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
The necessities in the house, and she should be working
with him in that.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
When you have the mentality that I pay for this,
you pay for that, you actually are are operating as too.
How is that different than roommates. I mean a lot
of us have roommates in college or beyond, and you
know we're used to splitting up the costs. But you know,
your life with your roommates not supposed to be what
(14:20):
your marriage is supposed to.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
It is not supposed to represent what your marriage is like.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Right, you get married so you can move beyond a
roommate relationship. And so what happens is when you have
that type of mentality, uh you you have, you open
the door to all kinds of issues. One of them
is that one or the other spouse uses money as
a weapon. Well, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not
gonna pay for this. We're not gonna have this until
(14:44):
you do this. And it is a bad idea to
use sex as a weapon or money as a weapon.
If the goal is for us to be bonded, to
be one and and be close emotionally, then doing that
actually rips us apart. Nothing that happens, and is that
(15:06):
it's important is that, you know, you end up having
disagreement about money and how it's spent. You know, so
you're you're like, well, how much money did you just
spend over here? And I can't even pay these bills?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
How much?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And she or she said, you just went out and
bought this car. Well that's my money. You bought a
car and we didn't talk about it. But since the
money it's separate, I guess technically he's right, And you
can see there's just all kinds of problems in this area,
just like any other area, when you do it differently
than what God intended. When you are married, you become
one in every area, name, aim, direction, finances, et cetera.
(15:44):
And if you're single and you're not comfortable mixing funds
with somebody that you're married to, don't get married because
you're not ready yet. You got to understand the way
that this is supposed to work is that you are one. Now,
let me say one more thing about this as well.
That is that you know, if you are one and
the man is in a position where he's doing the
(16:06):
best he can to bring in income, but he doesn't
make it just enough to do what we just finished
talking about, right, he's working toward get into the place
where he's providing in such a way that she doesn't
need to work. Well in that case, ladies, do not
emasculate him. Do not make him feel like he's less
(16:26):
than a man because he needs your help, because why
did God bring you to.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
That man to help?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
And so don't make him feel bad because you are
helping him. Let him know you love him, you support him,
and together you can work toward the goal that God
has for you. Let me take it to another good
Proverby chapter twenty seven, y'all so quiet today, y'all get
anything out of this? Dave Ramsey says this. He says,
(16:56):
separate checking accounts mean one of two things, either ignorance
or problems. So you want to do it together, and
you know there's a couple of ways to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I mentioned this.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
That I heard online, and you know you're talking to
one individual said this. You know, have your combined account
where you pay all of your family expenses from. Have
your other account where you have your savings, or both
of your names said, you both have to sign for
that account, you know, so nobody can just pull savings
out of that.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
If you need to do that, then have an account.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
That's his spending money and an account that's her spending money. Now,
if you do what we're about to talk about, then
you've already you've already come up with they plan together
on how we're going to spend our money. So you've
already decided how much would be in his spending account
and her spending account. So that means that she doesn't
have to call him every time she wants to spend
(17:54):
money out of that account, and he doesn't have to
call her every time he wants to buy some that
he want to buy something at Dick's Sporting Goods out
of this account. We've already agreed. You get two hundred
dollars every two weeks. I get two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Every two weeks. Do what you want with that money.
It's our money.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's just I'm putting this in your pocket and you're
putting this in my pocket. So that's just one way
of looking at it. To make sure that we're doing
things together. Because the Bible says, how can two walk
together except they be agreed? And how can two walk
together as a married couple if they're separate financially proverse
twenty seven. Let's go a step farther with this. This
(18:34):
is talking to the man so but of course it
applies to the family life. He says, be diligent to
know the state of your flocks and attend to your herbs,
for riches are not forever, nor does the crown endure
to all generations. When the hay is removed and a
(18:55):
tender grass shows itself, and the herds in a mountain
are not gathered in. The lambs will buy your clothing.
The goats the price of a field. You should have
a goat's milk for your food, for the food of
your household, and the nourishment of your maidens. Now Proverbs
twenty seven once again is talking to men, and I
just want you to notice that once again God's expecting
(19:17):
the man to provide. And so he mentions that if
you do what I'm saying, you'll have clothing, you'll have food,
You'll be able to buy the field or buy some land,
which means you could probably put a house on it,
among other things. And so he's talking to the man
about making sure those needs are meant. But he gives
(19:37):
some additional instruction here that is important when he says,
be diligent to know the state of your flocks and
look well to your hers Now, I doubt there's anybody
in here today that has flocks or herbs, not in Detroit, Michigan.
(19:59):
But understand that back then and instilled in places in
our country and the world, flocks and the herds represented
people's financial lives. You know, you're talking about a shepherd
or when a shepherd made money from his flocks and
his herds. So when God says, hey, pay attention to
(20:21):
the state of your flocks and look well to your hurts,
he said, hey, make sure you are financially healthy. Do
what it takes to be financially healthy. Don't just know
where you are, how many of you got, and how
well they're doing, but make sure you do what necessarily
all of them are doing well so you can sell them,
live off of them or whatever. And the principle applies
(20:43):
to us today as a family unit. We need to
do what it takes to be financially healthy. And that's
how you get to the place where the man is
providing the food and the clothes and the home. And
then we have more than that, and we're blessed to
be a blessing is because we were serious about knowing
(21:06):
the state of our financial life. Looking well to our
financial life, and that starts with knowing the state of it.
One other way of saying that is having a budget.
Somebody say budget. Now, that's also not a cuss word.
I'm not cussling in the pulpit today. Downsize is the
(21:27):
cuss word. Budget isn't the cuss word. What is a budget?
It is simply a plan for spending money, and if
you don't tell your money where to go, your money
will just go. Anybody ever noticed that Henybible talks about
being in a place where you seem to put money
(21:47):
in pockets with holes in it. Anybody ever had that experience?
You're like, wait a minute, I just got paid, how
come I'm broke? And take a minute you start thinking about, well,
you know, I did go to Jay Alexander's three times
last week, and I did spend two hours at at
the mall, and and then we did Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Yeah, that's that's where it went.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
And that's the kind of stuff that happens when you
don't have a plan for your money. So one of
the things that a married couple needs to do every
month is sit down and actually document every penny that
we all, and document every penny that is coming in,
and document every need we will have, and then then
(22:32):
plan for the money to go where is needed. Now,
somebody may say that sounds really tough and difficult.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
It's actually not. At first.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's gonna take a little bit of work, but after
a while, you're it'll be easy. I happen to like,
I'm a big believer in Dave Ramsey's Financial Ministry. In fact,
if there is a book I would recommend to you
based on this message, and you know I'm always.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Recommending books to you guys.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
It's called Total Money Makeover, and he walks through every
piece of this. And they have a great software called
every Dollar and I use this myself as on a website,
is on an app, so that every month they actually
have laid out for you a budget, so all you
have to do is plug the numbers in. And I
know that's just one of many many tools that are
(23:15):
out here, but as a married couple, you need to
every single month have a budget, a zero based budget
that means that we are spending every dollar that comes in.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
That includes putting into savings.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
But my point is that you're accounting for every dollar
that comes in and you're making sure that you're not
spending more than what's coming in. But it's something that
you need to do is sit down and have a budget,
and then you need to have a weekly money meeting.
Every week. Put a day on the calendar, put a
(23:53):
time on the calendar where we're gonna sit down.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
And talk about the money.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
And of course once a month we're sitting down and
do on the budget. But the other weeks, we're going
to sit down and talk about, Okay, what did we spend,
how are we doing with the budget, what unexpected income
our issues came up, or what unexpected costs came up.
Where do we need to make some adjustments. Maybe we
had to take some money from here to put it
over here. But you're having that discussion every week, and
(24:18):
that'll help you to stay on the same page. Something
like seventy percent of married couples fight about money, and
part of the reasons what we talked about a couple
of weeks ago because we don't communicate, and so one
of the best ways to make sure you communicate when
it comes to money is put a day and time
on a calendar where we sit down and we talk
(24:39):
about where we are and what we need to do
differently so that we are walking together financially. Anybody get
anything out of this turned in and telling money matters,
turn them out and telling money matters.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Budgeting yourself is a marriage saveror having a weekly.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Money meeting is a marriage saver, and then spending.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Less than you owe or less than you make is
a marriage savor.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So that might mean we sit here and realize we're
paying too much for this house, We're spending too much
money going out to eat. Maybe we need to cut
back on, you know, on buying this or that or
this hobby. And it's a tough conversation. Your flesh will scream,
(25:38):
especially women's flesh, because they like to spend money. In general,
in general, guys don't spend as much, although there are
some guys that whoa, but women like things pretty things.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Come man, I'm not gonna get amen here. Amen. I mean,
I grew up.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I grew up in a home where I was with
my mama and my two sisters all the time. And
then on Sundays, every Sunday, after church, my mom and
her best friend, my Auntie, would take us to the
mall and it would be my mom, my sisters, my
two boy cousins and their mom and we would suffer
(26:23):
every Sunday. Okay, my mother loves to shop. I've got
a daughter that loves to shop. And then this child's
working two jobs right now. She don't need to work
two jobs. She just likes to spend money. So I'm like, well,
you know, hey, if you're gonna work to do it,
I don't have much to say to you, but she
(26:45):
just loves to spend money, so I know what I'm
talking about. For men it is not as much of
an issue in general, there's always exceptions, but for women
sometimes it can be. And you've got to make a
decision to do what it is it takes to be
financially healthy. Now, I think Dave Ramsey says, you know,
do today what people won't do, so you can do
(27:05):
later what people can't do.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Right, You paid the price.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Now so that later on we can go ahead and
enjoy our life without financial pressure, without money being an
issue in our marriage, but instead it being something that
we are able to use to bless others and bless ourselves. Now,
let's go, step father Proverbs twenty two. Go there with me,
if you would. Somebody said, again, money matters. The rich
(27:35):
rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to
the lender. The rich rules over the poor, and the
borrower is servant to the lender. Now, I just want
you to if you could almost draw a line in
your Bible from the rich to the lender and from
(27:55):
the poor to the borrower, because that's really kind of
what this part of what he's showing us here.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Is that the rich are the ones.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That don't borrow, and the poor are the ones that
borrow all the time. And God doesn't want you in
a position where you are the servant or the slave
to any man. But that is the position that we
are in when we are in debt. When you are
(28:33):
in debt, you don't just go to work to pay
for your needs as a family, but you're going to
work to pay all of the people you owe money to.
It's like you bought a car from GM, and you
bought it, you got a loan for that car, but
you work at GM. Well what's happening is you're going
(28:57):
to work at GM so GM could pay, so you
could turn around and pay GM. In fact, let's ask
this question, what organizations are you a slave to right now?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Who are you really working for? Is it GM? Is
it Chrysler? Is it Wells Fargo? Is it?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Because I'm here to tell you that's not God's best
for you. And one of the reason why we have
so much financial pressure on our lives and stress in
our marriages is simply because we just have so much debt.
And somebody told us that that's how you have to live.
We've almost got this idea in our head that you
can't live without debt. And I went to business school.
(29:45):
So I remember going to business school and being in
the classes where they would show you how to leverage
debt and how if you leverage debt correctly, then it's
going to help you to have greater opportunities. And I
remember even then, being in my early twenties thinking, Okay,
this looks great, but what happens.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
If you can't pay the bill?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
And so people they'll push that, but they don't every
want to talk about the fact that there are times
in life where all of a sudden, the economy crashes
or somebody lose the job, or something else is going on,
and that debt that you were leveraging you can't pay,
and now they can take from you everything you own.
The best way to live is to live debt free,
(30:31):
and that's actually best for your marriage and your family.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
And God understands us.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Look at you that I'm in twenty eight, and if
you look at you that I'm in twenty eight, you'll
find out that the Bible talks about the curse and
the blessing, and it talks about how you know if
you disobey God under the law back then you would
deal with the curse in your life. And part of
the curse was that you would work hard to give
that money to somebody else, that you would be the
(31:03):
borrower instead of the lender. That was part of the curse.
Do you think God wanted his people to ever have
any part of the curse? In fact, the Bible says
that Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law.
We celebrated a death burier on resurrection of Jesus last week.
Part of the reason he did what he did, It
wasn't the biggest one, but it was part of it well,
(31:24):
so that we would not have any part of the
curse in our lives, including financial lack, because see, if
I have to borrow, that means I don't have enough.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
He came to free you from the curse of the law.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And what's happened is we've been told and talked this
is that red table talk way of thinking.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Is that why I have to get dead.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
If I want a car, if I want a house,
we have to go ahead and get Alan. If I'm
gonna send my kids to this school, we gotta get Alan.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
For this. If.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Hey, if I'm gonna get a couch, I gotta get alan.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
Hey, check it out.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
I don't have to pay for five years. I remember
doing that earlier in my life. You know, got a
big screen TV and thought I was doing something. It
was a nice and it was like, no payments for
sixty months. I'm like six, that's five years. Yes, man,
I signed up for that thing. Maybe sign up for
a couple of other things. I'm thinking I'm doing good.
(32:18):
I'm watching my TV, thinking I'm special, until all of
a sudden, those bills came in, and not only are
you paying for the TV, but you're paying all the
interest that comes from waiting five years to pay for
the TV. All of a sudden, the TV don't look
(32:39):
so good. Come on, and some of us.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Our whole house is debt. The couch is debt, the
bed is deat. The baby is debt. Come on, you
couldn't even pay for the baby, yeah, vacation is that?
Everything is debt. Now you wonder why we always at
each other's throats. We don't love each other anymore?
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yes, you do, but you got so much financial pressure
on you you can't even get through that to even
remember why you were with each other because somebody told
you debt is good when dead is not God's plan
for you. Remember a number of years ago, and my
dad and I were driving in the car, and of
course I'm grown by this time, and so I kind
of wish he had this revelation beforehand. But he said,
(33:25):
he said, Son, you know, I realized that there are
many bankers living in the houses on the beach somewhere
off of my interest. And his whole point was, Son,
you need to work on getting out of debt. And
since then, he's gotten out of debt. You heard him
talk about it. He's gotten completely out of debt, gotten
their church out of debt. And by the way, this
(33:47):
church is out of debt. We don't have debt in
this building.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
We don't. That's not something we do.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
But I remember I'm saying that, and I had never
heard a sing like that before. How many people are
getting rich off of my impatience? How much money am
I paying other people because I want to keep using that?
And by the way, I'm continuing to keep my put
(34:16):
myself in financial peril and keep continuing to have financial stress.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
In my marriage. No, man, this isn't right.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
And if you're like me, you know you probably wish
you had heard some of this ten, fifteen, twenty thirty
years ago. I've been telling my kids since they were little,
no doubt, and they've heard me say so they roll their.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Eyes, and I'm serious, they do roll their eyes. But
anybody got teenagers in here, you know I'll be like,
did you just roll your eyes?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
But the point is because we didn't understand this, that
there's a way to do this where you are free
from debt.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And what is your life like when your best.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Income producing tool, your wealth producing tool, which is your paycheck,
comes in and you don't owe anybody anything? Come on,
how much money do you have? And how much can
you save up or give if when you get paid,
you're not paying for the car, You're not paying for
(35:26):
the house. Come on, you're not paying paying for the
credit card, you're not paying the school loan.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Just think about it for a second. How much money
do you have?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
A lot of people make a lot of money in
their lifetimes, probably most people in this room. You probably
gonna make at least a million dollars in your lifetime.
But you say, well, I only got five dollars on
my account deb you had it come in and you
had it go out instead of saving it and investing it.
(36:03):
And if you don't have to make a lot of
millionaires did not make six figures. Most millionaires did not
inherit their money. Politicians will tell you that, well, you know,
they'ma made them. That's not statistically true. They just found
a way to be financially disciplined.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Somebody say discipline.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
And that's why even some of the most rich people
you ever meet in the world don't look rich. And
you can always tell sometimes when somebody is rich and
somebody's faking.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
It, because when they're faking it, everything is a brand.
The car is everything looks like I'm rich. I'm rich,
So I'm rich, And you're thinking, yeah, yeah, I bet you.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
When you go home, you're pulling your hair out. You
find a millionaire and they don't have some nice things.
Don't get me wrong, but they have enough sense to
recognize that.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I don't have to have all these flashy things.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
What's more important is is that I'm actually financially healthy
and my marriage is strong. Then I have the latest whatever, whatever, whatever.
Since I've been talking about Dave Ramsey, I want to
give you the steps that he uses to get out
of debt. And I'm gonna tell you again, I want
you to get the book told the Money Makeover. In fact,
one of the things I want to do in this
(37:16):
church is have Financial Peace University be one of our small.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Groups because they walk you through a system.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I need some leaders to step up to do it
because our team can't do everything. But because of this
is so important and money matters, and it matters to
your marriage. So let me give you some of the
baby steps that Dave Ramsey gives. Number one, sit down
and do a budget. Number two, catch up on any
(37:42):
outstanding bills. So when you start getting that budget, you
might see, I got this, this is this area, this
is due, this is late, this is late, this is latest.
You sit down and figure out where you are financially
and start working towards getting rid of those bills. Number three,
put one thousand dollars in savings that you cannot touch
except for emergencies.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Now already you.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
May be saying, Pastor, if I could catch up with
my outstanding bills, I'd already done that.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
If I have a thousand dollars to put over here,
I would do it. But I don't.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
This is where you've got to get very intense about
finding ways to increase your income. What do you mean
by that? There's probably some stuff in your house you
don't need anymore that you can sell. You ain't even
seen that thing in five years. You found it in
the closet in the corner, and you can sell it
for twenty dollars. Sell it, Take the twenty and put
(38:33):
it toward the one hundred that you owe on that
one bill. But get serious about this because it matters,
because it matters as an impact on your marriage, which
is the foundation for everything in your home life. Something
else you might have to do is pick up another
job for a season. I know we don't like this.
(38:54):
I know it's vegetables, but you'll be shouting if you
do it. And you do it and you see the results.
You know, a couple of years ago, what I did
when I was pastoring this church for me, I pastored
most of you know. I pastored four churches. Now two
of them were mega churches, you know, so I made
a good amount of money, and then I walked away
(39:14):
from that salary. I was passing the church that was
five thousand a weekend at one point and then serving
in that ministry, and I walked away from that salary
and started this church from scratch while I had kids
and an expensive private school, and I was not pulling
them out of that private school and pulling them out
of their life in the name of a church, because
(39:36):
I've been a preacher's kid. I didn't want them to
hate God. So what I did, And some of y'all
don't know this, but I actually drove for Lyft Pastor
you did Lyft, I sure did. Now.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I didn't last very.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Long because I found out that one of the worst
cities in Detroit to drive for Lyft in or in
the country is Detroit.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I was spending more money and on.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Gas driving these trainers around then I was actually making money.
When I figured that out, I said, I'm done with left.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
But I mean I had to humble myself.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I mean, I'm speaking people up and I'm like, man,
I'm like, I'm pastor hundred, Like I hope it don't
recognize me, you know, my little lift sticker in the
window and you know, and I'm like, there's a part
of me there. I hope nobody knows. And but I'm thinking,
but I gotta take care of my family.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
You know, I gotta do what I.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Need to do, and you might just have a season
where you all gonna have to just do a little
extra just you can catch up on your bills. Let
me just get this stuff out so that I'm at
least I gotta you know, I got a clean sheet.
(40:58):
Then let me put a thousand dollars in save, so
now I have something so that next time an emergency
shows up, I have something to pull from, so I
don't end up just going right back to this place
where now I've got bills I can't pay. Next thing
they mentioned is then to do the debt snowball.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Take any extra income that you might get from another
job or selling things, and put it towards your lowest
debt you owe fifty dollars on some one hundred dollars
or five hundred everything you get, not throw it toward
that debt till you knock it out.
Speaker 3 (41:33):
Then take the.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Payment on that. Let's say you're paying twenty dollars a month,
and add that to the next highest debt. So now
I'm paying an extra twenty dollars a month on this debt,
and any extra money that's coming in, I'm throwing it
towards that. What happens is you end up with a
debt snowball. You'll end up in a position where all
the money you were using to pay for bills, you're
using to get rid of debt. And when you start
(41:55):
talking about now I'm paying off my car, and I'm
taking five hundred dollars a month, and I'm throwing it
towards whatever my other debts are.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
Now we're talking about something.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
The next thing after that is then save three to
six months of your expenses. So once you've gotten rid
of got a debt, and I would say, everything is
set for your house, because your house is something you've
got to deal with later. Once you've done that, take
all that money that you were using every month to
pay for those bills, pay for that debt, and throw
it in savings, so that if the economy were to
(42:31):
crash tomorrow and everybody's running for their lives, you know
you're gonna be all right for six months. And I
would add this, keep cash in your house, not all
your cash, but some cash.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Because you some of them.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I remember a couple maybe about ten years ago or so,
there was a blackout here in Detroit. What happens if
you can't get to the bank or there's an EMP
attack and nothing works electronically. You don't want to be
in a position where you don't have cash. Put cash
in the house, in a safe Can I be a
pastor for a moment, make sure you have something in
(43:08):
the house. So if something happened, and you know, we
are living in this world all kinds of crazy stuff's happening.
We just came from COVID nineteen. You don't know what
the next thing is going to be. As a man,
protects your family. But even beyond that, put three to
six months in savings, and then there's some other things
that we can do. I'm out of time, but I
encourage you to get a hold of that book Total
(43:29):
Money Maker, because.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
They really walks through that process with you.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Listen, when your marriage is in trouble because of finances,
When your finances are in trouble because of a lack
of discipline, the last thing you should do if you're
trying to get out.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
Of a hole is keep digging the hole.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Let me go use the credit card even more, Let's
go buy something else we can't afford let's go on
that vacation that we really shouldn't be going on. Yes,
we need a vacation, but it's gonna have to be
a staycation. You've got to have a netflixation. And don't
get me wrong, there is a side of this I
always try to get to today, which is believing God.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
Man.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You can put your faith out here and God will
help you get the money to get caught up and
get the money to wipe out your desk and get
the money to have the money in savings and get
the money so you can go on that vacation and
everything is paid for and you can really enjoy yourself.
And He'll do that when you show him that money matters,
(44:31):
that you want to be faithful with the money he's
already given you, because the Bible says that you're faithful
over that which is least. God knows he'll make you
faithful over much.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
I want to.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Challenge you today, take this money issue seriously as a
married couple and as a family, and live the financially
free life God wants you to live together for the
rest of your lives.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Come on, give God praise and word for the Word
of God.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Thank your Father for the word. Thank you for making
things clear to us Jesus' name about everybody closed in prayer,
no one moving or walking or talking unless you've been
assigned to do so. We talked today about a very
small slipper of life.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
Right. You know that money is a part of life,
but it's not everything. We know that. But God loves
you so much.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
He cares about every detail of your life. What he
cares about most of ours. Where you're gonna spend eternity.
Jesus came, and he died, and he rose again because
God understood you needed him to. Without him, you're gonna
live your life separate from God, suffering, hurting, dissatisfied, and
(45:46):
eventually find yourself in the hell. But with him you
have a peace in your heart you don't even fully understand.
Even when you have trouble, you can overcome it. Your
life will have per and one day you'll find yourself
in heaven. That's why John three sixteen says, would says
(46:08):
God so loved the world, he so loved you, he
gave his only begodden son, that whoever would believe in
him would not perish, but would have ever lasting life.
If you've never chosen to believe in him. I want
to help you today to make the greatest decision of
your life. Someone might say, you know, I made that
(46:30):
decision pastor once upon a time, but I'm far from
God again. The Bible says in First John one nine,
which is written to believers, that if we confess of
our sins, God is faithful and just, He has the
right and you can count on Him to forgive you
and cleanse you from all that you've done. In other words,
(46:52):
you can have a fresh start with God. And I
want to help you today to do that as well.
And so I've given two really simple invitations. If you've
never believed in Jesus, you never gave him your life
like he gave you his, and you're not sure that
you would go to heaven, or you've gotten away from
God and you want to get right with God. If
(47:14):
either one of those things apply to you, I want
to encourage you right now. Or just take a moment
and lift your hand let me know so we can
pray with you.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
I see that hand.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
If you've never chosen to follow Jesus, but you're ready
to give him your life, lift your hand. You're ready
to try God lift your hand, or you've gotten away
from God, or you want to get right with him.
Lift your hand right now. We'll pray with you. I'll
see that hand, even if you're on line somewhere. Lift
your hand, because it's not really about me singing. It's
about God's sin. And I see that hand as well.
Speaker 3 (47:45):
Where to God.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
God has an amazing future for you, is so much
better than what you can pray for yourself. All you
got to do is say yes to Him. If you
raise your hand or you know that you should have
raised your hand. I want to ask you to do
something else as well. I'm a prayer, very simple prayer.
I want you to pray it as well from your heart.
(48:09):
I mean, ask everybody to prayer with you, and then
watch what God does in your life. So repeat after me,
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus. I come to
today to give you my life. I believe that Jesus
Christ is the son of God. I confess with my
mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in my heart that
(48:34):
God is raised him from the dead.
Speaker 3 (48:37):
I repent of sin.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I'm sorry, Lord, I turn away from it, and I
receive you Lord. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer,
for ranshing my prayer and for saving me now and Father,
we thank you for those that have prayed this prayer
for the first time, and those who have chosen to
come home to you. We thank you that because of
(48:59):
their decision, they're a part of your family now, which
means that all of your benefits belong to them.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
Your power belongs to them.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
So I pray that your power works in their lives,
helping them to be set free from whatever trouble they're
dealing with, helping them to overcome and experience.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
What you have for them.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
I pray that you help them to know You, to
find freedom through their relationship with other believers, to grow
and to discover their god giving purpose and to make
a mark in this world. And we give you the
praising glory four now in Jesus' name. Ay Man, come on,
give a round applause. Those that made that decision great
great decisions.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Thank you for tuning in to another Faith Experience podcast.
Remember God as a future for you.
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