Connect with Skip - Skip Heitzig

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Connect with skip Heitzig, and we're so glad
you've joined us for today's program. Connect with skip Heidzig
is all about connecting you to the never changing truth
of God's Word through verse by verse teaching. That's why
we make messages like this one today available to you
and others. Before we get started with the program, we
want to invite you to check out connect with skip

(00:21):
dot com. There you'll find resources like full message series,
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teaching from God's Word write in your inbox each day.
Sign up today at connect with skip dot com. That's
connect with Skip dot com. Now let's get started with

(00:42):
today's message from pastor skip Heidzig.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Then Heymoor, the father of Schechem, went out to Jacob
to speak with him. So he takes the first the
initial play, and the sons of Jacob came in from
the field when they heard it, and the men were
grieved and very angry. Why because someone's been in the

(01:08):
kitchen with Dinah, because he had done a disgraceful thing.
That's what it was. It was a disgraceful thing in
Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, a thing which ought
not to be done. Now, notice something in that last verse,
the mention of Israel, not as a person. Jacob was

(01:32):
named Jacob and then renamed Israel, right, one who fights
victoriously with God or prince of God. But for the
first time, and I always want to give to you
the rule of first mention. The first time Israel is
mentioned as a nation is here. And yet they're not
a nation. Yet they are only a nation in terms

(01:54):
of a group of people forming together in a nascent state,
embryonic state. And here the term, though it refers to
the nation of Israel, is referring to the people rather
than the land. Not the property of Israel, not the
land of Israel, but the people of Israel, those who
have a special covenant relationship with God, because of God's

(02:16):
relationship with Jacob. But it's a disgraceful thing, and it
will always be a disgraceful thing, as far as the
laws of Israel will be concerned. A disgraceful thing in
Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, a thing which ought
not to be done. Now, did you know that it
was customary in those days for the entire family to

(02:39):
get together and approve of any marriage. Usually the dads
would get together, Hey, I have a son who is handsome,
hard working. You have a beautiful young daughter. Let's sign
a deal right now. Now the kids could be toddlers,

(03:03):
so I don't know how hard working a toddler would be.
But the father would say, I have a son, you
have a daughter. Let's strike up a deal, a contract
right now that promises them to be wed to each other.
So before the kids really know each other or even
know what marriage is, they're engaged, so to speak. Then

(03:26):
it is approved by the entire family. It's a family affair,
a family deal, a family contract, which isn't all that
bad now, hear me out. Those in that family are
eventually going to be your future in laws, hopefully not outlaws.

(03:50):
They're going to be part of your family or part
of your future forever in some kind of a relationship.
You want to make sure it's a good relationship now.
In fact, I would say, if somebody in your family
has constant doubts about that person that you say you

(04:10):
want to marry, you should at least take heed and
listen to them. Especially if they have your best interests
at heart. Take counsel move solely, move wisely. In the
multitude of counselors, there is safety. So the marriages were arranged.
Here's an emergency situation. There's been a rate, the fathers
get together, the sons come in. There still has to

(04:32):
be an approval process. I remember the first time I
was in India. I was with Lenya. We were newly married,
didn't have our son Nate, just been married a couple
of years, and so we went over there doing ministry
in India, and they looked at this young couple and
they said, well, you know, how long have you known
each other? How long have you been married? And we

(04:53):
were telling them our story, and then they would tell
us their stories that in their country, it wasn't like
our country where a young man dates a young woman
and then asked her to marry her. They said, oh,
there are still arranged marriages in our country. And I said,
excuse me. He said, oh, yes, I got married because

(05:15):
her parents and my parents got together and they prayed
about it before the Lord, and they believed it was
the Lord's will and we're married. I said, now wait
a minute, and I just thought that sounded so foreign
to me. It honestly sounded well unappealing. Goofy backwards. And
as I started expressing my concern, one of them said, no,

(05:37):
wait a minute, brother, and he said, I'll have you
know that our divorce rate is miniscule compared to your
divorce rate, because you see, we learn early on that
it's commitment. We have already been committed by our parents
to each other. We learned the commitment comes first, feelings

(05:58):
come later. You do it backwards, base everything on how
you feel, and hope that you still feel good over time,
and hopefully learn a commitment as time goes on. We've
already learned the commitment by the time we approach the
marriage alter. So I love the thought of an arranged marriage.

(06:18):
That my heavenly father and your heavenly father, our father
in heaven, knows the right one that's for us, and
so we wait on him. He's the one, not your
earthly parents, as much as your heavenly father. You wait
and you pray, and you make sure that's the one
the heavenly Father has for you. Verse eight. Let's get

(06:39):
on with the story. But Haymoor spoke with them, saying
the soul of my son. Shechem longs for your daughter.
Please give her to him as wife, and make marriages
plural with us. Give your daughters plural to us. Take

(07:00):
our daughters to yourself. He had a lot of sons.
Now I have to say that as far as Haymour
and Sheckham are concerned, they're honorable. You didn't have Shachham
at home after this, going oh, I don't know what
to do. I just won't do anything. You know. It
wasn't a whimp. He stepped up to the plate, admitted

(07:21):
what he had done, said I love you, I'm going
to take responsibility, and gets his father involved. And for Pagans,
you got to admit this is a pretty honorable gesture,
more so than what Jacob and the sons are about
to be involved in. Do you remember back, some of

(07:42):
you to the elections presidential elections in nineteen ninety two
and ninety six, when a guy named Ross Perot was
running for president Member Ross Paro an interesting character and
I didn't vote for him, but I was fascinated by
him because I remember on one occasion he was talking
about morality and he was very blunt. He said, now

(08:05):
see I want to say something to you, young man.
He said, if you get a young woman pregnant and
you don't take responsibility for her, I want you to
know you are the scum of the earth. And I thought,
all right, I like that. It was not politically correct,

(08:28):
but it was correct. And here these two gentlemen are
taking responsibility. However, just because a young man would get
a girl pregnant, there's no indication that she was pregnant.
But let's say there is a pregnancy. Just because there
is a pregnancy does not necessitate that there must be
a wedding that follows. That'd be nice if they're mature

(08:52):
enough and they can make that commitment. But it could
be that if they got married, the circumstances could be
such that it would be detrimental for them and for
the child, And sometimes the best option would be adoption.
There's lots of families that would love to have children
that can't, and adoption is a wonderful way of giving
to a family that can't have children any other way

(09:15):
or want more, and could care for them in a
loving manner to do so, but they step up to
the plate. In fact, the deal is, let's make marriages daughters, sons,
all of us living happily ever after verse ten. So
you shall dwell with us, and the land shall be
before you, dwell and trade in it, and acquire possessions

(09:37):
for yourselves in it. In other words, settle down here
with us, make yourself at home with us. Now, I believe,
and I want to jog your memory a little bit,
I believe that this is one of Satan's first attempts
to pollute the royal line. Do you know what I
mean by that? Remember back in Genesis chapter three, verse fifteen,

(09:59):
that promise that Satan the serpent would come and bruise
the heel of the Messiah, but the Messiah would crush
his head. And so God promised a lineage and eventually
someone would be born in that lineage that would be
the Messiah Christ, who would crush the domain of Satan.
And ever since that promise, Satan has tried to contravene

(10:22):
and counteract it by his own kind of defensive warfare
and killing off anyone who could be the promised line. So,
as soon as that promise was given, Cain kills his
brother Abel. I believe induced by Satan to do so
in an attempt to destroy the royal lineage. God raises

(10:43):
up Seth as the royal line, but as that line
grows and populates, the whole earth becomes corrupt. Until God
has to judge because of his own character. The entire
world and everybody on earth is destroyed except for eight people.
And that's the exception clause, because the royal Messianic seed

(11:05):
is incorporated in that eight people, Noah and his family.
That warfare goes on, and I believe we see a
hint of it here. It's an attempt to say, hey, look,
don't be separated. Come join us. We'll just marry our
kids into each other's families, and we'll just live happily.
Ever after there'll be no difference. Is that a problem

(11:28):
for a believer? Is that a problem? Oh? Yes, it
is a problem. There's a principle that's important to remember,
not only here but throughout the scripture. In our Lives
Tewod Corinthians, chapter six, Paul writes, do not be unequally
yoked together with unbelievers.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
You're listening to connect with Skip Heitzig. Before we get
back to Skip's teaching, the nineteen sixties promised us an
explosion of love and brotherhood, but instead they delivered a
nation in turmoil, confusion, and moral decline. Fortunately, God has
the solution for our damaged families and in Beyond the
Summer of Love relationships in the real world. Pastor Skip

(12:13):
Heitzig gives a Biblical guide for marriage and families that
can help restore relationships which have been damaged by sin.
Beyond the Summer of Love is our Thanks for your
gift of at least twenty five dollars today to help
share biblical teaching with more people around the world through
connect with Skip Heizig. Go to connect with Skip dot
com slash offer or call eight hundred ninety to two

(12:34):
eighteen eighty eight and request your resources when you give
twenty five dollars or more today to help reach people
around the world with the good news of Jesus through
connect with Skip Heitzig. Let's continue with today's teaching with
Pastor Skip.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
Now he's using a farming analogy. A farmer who wants
a plow pulled on his land would put animals in
a yoke. He would at least have two animals, if
not more so. He would never put two animals that
aren't aligned or have the same temperament. He would find
two animals that are alike, same size, same strength, same

(13:10):
temperament to do the work. You'd never have a Clydesdale
horse yoked to a miniature burrow. Wouldn't work it actually,
because it'd be off kilter, would probably just be plowing
in circles all day, be weird. So the farmer wants

(13:30):
them to go in the same direction for the same
length of time, to do the same kind of work,
So he picks equally yoked animals. Do not be unequally
yoked together with unbelievers, now contextually or in its context.
When Paul wrote that he was referring to the false

(13:52):
teachers at Corinth, that some of the true believers were
getting yoked with, and he calls these false teachers, who
even call themselves Christian ministers, he just calls them unbelievers.
Don't be yoked together with those unbelievers. So that's the
principle context of it. However, there's a broader principle. That
principle applies to a lot of areas of life. Whether

(14:15):
you get married to an unbeliever or start a business
venture with an unbeliever, you want to do that, okay,
but know that there's going to be heartbreak and heartache.
That unequal yoke won't allow you to follow the directions
from the Master. And if one person in the marriage
is a true believer and the other is not a believer,

(14:38):
you're not going to be pulling in the same direction.
In fact, you'll be pulling in opposite directions. I think
it's very difficult. And so that's the principle, and it's
the principle that is violated here as well. Don't be
unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Here's another translation. Stop forming

(15:00):
intimate and inconsistent relationships with unbelievers. Here's another translation of that,
don't be mis mated, mismated, or mismatched with an unbeliever. Now,
that is why Paul takes that principle and does apply

(15:22):
it to marriage later on, when he speaks in First
Corinthians chapter seven, he says, if you're a believer and
you're unor your husband or wife dies, you can go
ahead and get remarried. But then he says, only in
the Lord. Only in the Lord. Make sure they're in

(15:44):
the Lord, that they love the Lord, that they're born
again under the Lord, that they serve the lord, so
you can go in the same direction, because otherwise, what
do you have in common? That's his whole point. What
do you have in common with that unbeliever while we
both like rap music? Well, there's your problem, just kidding.

(16:12):
Verse eleven. Now the young man speaks to Jacob and
his boys. Watch this, the young man. He's going to
talk to his potential father in law and his sons.
Then shechem said to her father and brothers, let me
find favor in your eyes, and whatever you say to me,
I will give. So he sounds honorable. Ask me ever

(16:35):
so much dowry in Hebrew mohar dowry. I'll explain that
in a minute. Ask me ever so much dowry and gift.
Now this could be something different than the dowry, but
a personal gift given to Dinah the bride, and I
will give according to what you say to me. But
give me the young woman as wife. Okay. A dowry

(16:58):
was a chunk of money given to the father of
the bride remuneration. The family of the groom would give
to the father of the bride a chunk of money
why to buy her? No, had nothing to do with
paying for her, but to compensate him for the loss

(17:21):
of help, after all, having kids in those days, my
father believed in this principle, kids were part of the workforce.
You have kids at home, they work around the house,
they do the chores, they do the work. They plow
the fields in those days, male or female, they have
their duties. And I've been in Bedwin communities to this

(17:41):
day and watched young girls out there plowing the field.
So he's going to lose his daughter, He's going to
lose help. So the dowry was to compensate Dad for
the lack of a hired hand, or actually a free hand.
Now he says, you name the price. Why because in

(18:03):
the case of pre marital intercourse in ancient cultures. Now
this is before the Law of Moses. In ancient cultures,
before there was any pre marital intercourse, a dowry had
to be presented to legitimize the union, otherwise it wasn't legitimate,
And the father of the bride could ask any price

(18:24):
he wanted, any price he wanted. Later on, the law
of Moses, under the law in Exodus chapter twenty and on,
will be put into place. And according to Deuteronomy twenty
two there'll be a cap set on that because it
could be abused. The cap will be fifty shekels. So
you name your price up to fifty shekels. That'll be

(18:45):
later on in the law. So rape remuneration. Now we
have retaliation. It gets worse. But the sons of Jacob
answered Shechem and haymore his father, and spoke, Notice how
hmm the boys spoke deceitfully because he had defiled Dinah,

(19:12):
their sister. Where did they learn to do deceitful things? Hmm? Right,
like father, like son. The apple doesn't far to fall
too far from the tree. Here the Hiptes are negotiating
in good faith, open and honest negotiations. Not the sons
of Jacob. They dealt it says it spoke deceitfully because

(19:35):
he had defiled Dinah, their sister. Now Jacob is going
to reap what he has sown in terms of his
deceit And they said to him, we cannot do this thing,
to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised. I'm
sure when when he heard that word, he thought, oh oh,

(19:56):
for that would be a reproach to us. How again,
this is before the law of Moses. But circumcision was
put into place in the patriarchical era even under Abraham.
So Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Other cultures, by the way,
practice that, especially when there was a marriage union possible,
so it wasn't foreign to them, but it also wasn't

(20:19):
appealing Verse fifteen. But on this condition, we will consent
to you. If you will become as we are, if
every male of you is circumcised, then we will give
our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters
to us, and we will dwell with you, and we

(20:39):
will become one. People, will become one. We'll be able
to sing Kumbaya, swing back and forth, everything will be
hunky dory, will be one people. But if you will
not heed us and be circumcised, then we will take
our daughter and be gone. And their words interesting. Their

(21:01):
words pleased Haymore and shake him Haymore's son. So the
young man did not delay to do the thing, because
he delighted in Jacob's daughter. He was more honorable than
all the household of his father. And Haymore and scheck him.

(21:24):
His son came to the gate of their city. Why
the gate, because that's where the elders of the city
hang out. That's where the men who make all the
decisions hang out, and spoke with the men of the city, saying, now,
these two guys have to sell this to the whole town,
So put yourself in their sandals. Hey, listen, we all

(21:49):
got to get circumcised. Who's gonna go for that? Some
gals just ask your husband about that, and it's like, no,
we're not going to happen. So they've got to sell
the idea to the men of the city. So they
begin with the elders. Now watch how they sell it.

(22:12):
These men are at peace with us. Therefore, let them
dwell in the land and trade in it, bring up
the economy. For indeed, the land is large enough for them.
Let's take their daughters to us as wives, and let
us give them as our daughters. Only on this condition
will the men consent to dwell with us, to be
one people. If every male among us, every male among us,

(22:37):
is circumcised, as they are circumcised, will not their livestock
their property, and every animal of theirs be ours? Only
let us consent to them, and they will dwell with us. Okay, Hey,
more and shackem haven't been totally honest with Jacob. Have

(22:59):
they go back just for a moment to verse ten,
and notice what he says to Jacob. So you will
dwell with us, and the land shall be before you
dwell and trade in it and acquire possessions for yourselves
in it. This would be an economic benefit for you.
You will be blast and prospered materialistically if you do

(23:22):
this thing. But when he has to sell it to
his own, he says in verse twenty three, well, not
their livestock, their property, and every animal of theirs be
ours only. Let us consent to them, and they will
dwell with us. So he has to sell it as
an economic opportunity. I know this is going to hurt,

(23:44):
but it's all about the economy, and if you do it,
you'll get prospered. And I'm sure the elders looked at
him like, I don't know about this. I don't think
the guys are going to go for this. This isn't
a great idea, but they went along with it because,

(24:05):
as suggested, the Hivites saw this as an opportunity to
absorb these people Jacob and his sons, his family, his livestock,
and he was quite wealthy into their camp and it
would prosper them. They would possess their wealth. And all
who went out of the gate of the city heated
Haymore and check him his son. Every male was circumcised

(24:28):
who went out of the gate of the city.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Thanks for listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig. We hope
you've been strengthened in your walk with Jesus by today's program.
Before we let you go, we want to remind you
about this month's resources that will help you understand and
follow God's plan for your relationships beyond the Summer of Love.
Relationships in the real world by Pastor Skip Heitzig is
our Thanks for your support of Connect with Skip Heitzig today.

(24:57):
Request your copy when you give twenty five dollar dollars
or more. Call eight hundred nine two two eighteen eighty eight.
That's eight hundred nine two two eighteen eighty eight, or
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(25:20):
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Verse by verse teaching of God's word here Unconnect with
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