Daily Hope - Rick Warren

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey there, and welcome back to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. Today,
Rick continues in his series called Connecting with God the
Lord's Prayer. In this series, Rick shows us what it
means to be truly spiritually connected to God and to
each other through the power of God's love and God's word. Now,

(00:23):
let's join Pastor Rick for the final part of a
message called the Prayer of.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Release number three. I have to release them because I
need forgiveness every day, and the Bible teaches us very
clearly that we cannot receive what we are unwilling to give.
You want to be forgiven. The Bible says you need

(00:48):
to be forgiving. That's what the Lord's Prayer says. Forgive
us our sins as much as we forgive everybody else.
Do you really want to pray that God, I want
you to forgive me as much as I forgive them.
That's what the Lord's Prayer is. I want you to
forgive me as much as I forgive everybody else. You see,
forgiveness is a lifestyle. It's not just something you do

(01:11):
one time. You need it every day of your life.
You've got to ask for forgiveness, You've got to accept
forgiveness from God from others, and you've got to offer forgiveness.
Forgiveness must be constant, and it must be continual. It
must be enjoyed, and it must be employed. Receive it

(01:32):
because you mess up a lot and you need it,
and you enjoy forgiveness, but you've got to employ it too.
You've got to give it to other people, constant and continual.
One time a person came to John Wesley and said,
you know that person, I could never forgive them. And
Wesley said, then, I hope you never sin, because the

(01:56):
Bible says we will be forgiven as much as we forgive.
Don't burn the bridge you got across in order to
get into heaven. You need to forgive in order to
get forgiveness. It's a two way street. In fact, in Jesus' story,
the king treats the servant exactly the way the servant

(02:22):
treats the other guy. In fact, here's what Jesus said.
He concludes the story with this, This is how my
heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive
your brother from your heart. Now what does it mean?
He says, forgive your brother, notice from the heart, not
just from the head, not just in an intellectual forgiveness. Yeah,

(02:44):
I forgive and emotional forgiveness. You let it go. You
forgive with your heart and your head, emotionally and intellectually.
Now inside your program is a little white card. I
want everybody to take this out, a little exercise. We're
going to right now take out this blank card because
I want to help you get release today, total release

(03:08):
from the things that have been bugging you all your life.
And what I'm gonna do is nobody's ever going to
see this card. Nobody's This is between you and God.
It's personal, it's private, and no peaking. Okay, I want
you in just a minute, I want you to write
down the people that you have a hard time forgiving.

(03:30):
I'm going to ask you to write down the people
who you have never let them off the hook, or
you keep bringing it back up in your life. And
I'm going to you know, last week I gave you
an exercise, a spiritual assessment tool to deal with guilt.
And this weekend, I'm going to ask you four questions.
And if any of these four questions cause somebody to

(03:53):
come to mind, I want you to write their name down. Now,
nobody's going to see this. I want you to write down,
and I want you to fold it over so nobody
can see it. Okay, here are four questions I want
you to ask. The first one, that's what I call
the blame test, and the blame test is who are
you most likely to blame for your problems? Who are

(04:14):
you most likely to blame for your unhappiness? Well, if
they would do this, then I'd be happy. Well, if
they would do this, then I wouldn't have so much
stress in my life. Okay, think about that right now.
This isn't going to help you unless you actually try
to do this exercise, Okay, because I want you to
get this off your chest because I don't want you

(04:34):
having heart attacks. I don't want you having those strokes
and things like that. Who am I most likely to
blame for my stress, my problems, my unhappiness or my pain.
If I had had a different parent, if my dad
had just done that, if my girlfriend, if my ex,
if my boss. Want you to think about this and

(04:56):
try to write down a name. Here's another question you
can maybe help you out rehearsal test. Who is the
first person that comes to mind if I were to
ask you what's the greatest hurt in your life? Think
about that. I see something just sitting there doing nothing. Okay,
this isn't going to help you. Okay, but I forgive you. Okay,

(05:20):
I forgive you, but I don't want you going to
the tortures. I don't want you going to the emotional
torture of your own life. And I know for a
fact you're holding on the grief, grudges, and guilt. I
know it because I've been a pastor for over thirty
years and I've talked to ten thousand people, and everybody
has a secret hurt, including you. And if you don't

(05:44):
admit it, there's a word for you, liar. Everybody has
hidden hurts, unfulfilled expectations. Well, my husband hasn't measured up
to what I thought he'd be my wife, or whatever.
Rehearsal test. Who comes to mind when I think of
my greatest hurt? Here's the third test? Scoreboard test. Is

(06:06):
there anybody you tend to keep score on? In other words,
they did it again, they did it again, and you
keep a little score in your mind. So when you
get in an argument with him, they said, well you
did this, Yeah, but you did that and you did this, yeah,
but you did that, And you did this, yeah but
you did that. And you got this little score, a

(06:27):
little scale in your mind between guilt and blame, and
every time they do something, you put it over here
on this side so you can blame them to even
up for your guilt. And when they say, well you
did this, yeah but you did that. Did you know
that the Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs.
Guy was talking to his friend and he said, you know,

(06:48):
I got home and I had an argument with my
wife last night and she just got historical. He said,
don't you mean hysterical? He said, no, she told me
everything I'd ever done wrong. That's called scoreboarding. Okay, who
are you keeping score on? They did it again? And

(07:09):
you say, I'll forgive them, but I won't forget it.
That's scoreboarding. And then here's another one, another pest. I
want you to write down the name of one, at
least one person there reminder test. Do you ever find
yourself reacting negatively to somebody because they remind you of

(07:30):
somebody else? Hmm? Do you ever find yourself reacting to
somebody because they remind you of somebody else? This is
one of the number one problems in marriage because a
lot of time we take unresolved resentment and unresolved hurts

(07:53):
and unresolved rudges and we bring them into marriage and
we transfer all that energy onto our spouse. That's not fair.
Your spouse is not your dad. Your spouse is not
your mother. Your spouse is not somebody who hurts you
in the past. That's not fair. But when you find

(08:14):
somebody that you always react to because it remind you
of somebody else, that is a sign you need to
do the release. These are the releases. Now, how do
I release my hurt? Thinking about whoever you wrote down
on this card? Pull that over now. I want to

(08:39):
show you how to let this person off the hook,
whoever it is or whoever it was. The Bible says
that there are three things to do to release your hurt,
to find freedom so you can have peace of mind
again and not keep being bugged by that person. There
are three things. Number one, back of your eye, how

(09:01):
do I release my hurt? In other words, what do
I do with my anger against this person? Number One?
I leave it to God. I leave it to God.
Does that mean I'm saying, okay? God? I'm not going
to try to get even. I'm going to let you
settle the score. I'm gonna let you handle the justice.
I'm going to let you do whatever you need to do.

(09:24):
And I relinquish my right to get even. I have
a right to get even with this person who hurt me,
but I'm not going to. And the Bible says this
in Romans twelve nineteen. Never avenge yourselves circle this, Leave
that to God. Leave that to God, for he has
said he will repay those who deserve it. Oh and

(09:48):
by the way, who has a better arsenal to repay? You?
Are God? Who can settle the score better? You are God? Oh?
I think God. If I had to choose whether I'm
going to get back or I'll let go. God be
a God of justice, I'm gonna let God be a
God of justice, and I leave it to God. Now,
let me explain what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness does not

(10:09):
mean the instant restoration of trust, not at all. Forgiveness
is instant. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Forgiveness is
based on grace. Trust is built on works you earn.
Trust you don't earn forgiveness. Forgiveness is built on grace,

(10:30):
and so the difference is a lot of people don't
want to forgive because they think if I forgive them,
I've got to trust them again. No, that's a whole
different issue. Let me say that again. Forgiving a person
does not mean you have to trust them. That means
they have to earn the trust. If a woman is
being abused, battered, beaten by her husband and she kicks

(10:56):
him out of the house, which is a good thing
that point, you don't have to put up with abuse.
You don't have to put up with that. And she
kicks him out of the house and says, get your
act together. If he comes back and says, I'm really sorry,
will you forgive me? She has to forgive him. It's
not optional. She does not have to let him back

(11:18):
in the house. Yet, forgiveness is instant, it's undeserved. And
why do we forgive? Not because he deserves it. We
forgive because I don't want to carry the hurt. I
don't want to carry the torture. I don't want to
carry the torment. You forgive not because they deserve it.
You forgive for your own sake, so you don't carry

(11:38):
the pain. So she says I forgive you, Will you
let me back in the house. Nope, that's a different issue.
That's that has to be rebuilt. Forgiveness is not the
restoration of trust. Forgiveness is not resuming a relationship with
no change. Somebody's in a relationship and their partner, their

(12:01):
husband or wife or whoever, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, is dealing
with drugs or dealing with alcohol or whatever, and they
mess up and they say, will you forgive me? Yes, yes,
I will forgive you, And now do we go back
the way it was? No, that's not at all what

(12:22):
we do. Not at all. Forgiveness and a restoration of
a relationship for two different things. Forgiveness is only on
your part, whether they respond or not, whether they ask
for it or not, whether they even recognize they need
it or not. You forgive for your sake. Restoration of
a relationship takes far more than forgiveness. It takes repentance,

(12:45):
it breaks takes restitution, and it takes a rebuilding of trust,
and that can take a longer time. They are not
the same thing. But a lot of people think, well,
I can't forgive them because it would mean it'd have
to go back to the same old Wait, no, not
at all, But you leave it to God? How do
I release my heart? I leave it to God. Second,
I heal it with grace. I heal it with grace. Friends,

(13:14):
The only cure for your hurting heart, the only cure
to get this person out of the mind, out of
controlling you. And by the way, if you're still holding
on the resentment they're controlling you. Have you ever said
you make me so mad? What you're admitting at that
point is you are controlling me. Listen to those words

(13:37):
you make me mad. You have the ability to control
my emotions. When you say you make me mad, you
are admitting they are controlling you. And the only way
you get this person out of your mind and heart
and not controlling you anymore, is you heal it with grace.
God's grace. Hebrews twelve fifteen says this, be careful that

(14:02):
none of you fails to respond to the grace which
God gives you. He says, if God gives you grace
and forgiveness, you offer to others, for if he does,
if you fail, there can very easily spring up in
him a bitter spirit. And we've all seen people with
a bitter spirit which is bad. Not only not only

(14:25):
bad in itself, he says, but it can also poison
the live of many others. Have you ever known a
family where a bitter mom poisoned the whole family? You
ever known a family where a bitter dad poisoned the
whole family? Yeah, he said. Bitterness is contagious, and actually

(14:47):
bitterness can become generational. And somebody has to break the chain,
and it better be you. My parents are bitter because
their parents are bitter, because their parents are bitter, And
I'm going to break the and there's the only way
to wait, one way to break it. Heal it with grace. Friends,
if you don't get God's grace in your life, life

(15:08):
will make you bitter. Because I don't know if you
figured this out or not, but life isn't fair. It's
not God never said it was fair. The Bible doesn't
say it's fair. In fact, life is very unfair. Why
because sin is in the world. We live on a
broken planet. This is not heaven, this is life is

(15:30):
not fair. That's why I believe in heaven and I
believe in hell. One day God's gonna settle the score.
Evil people get away with murder all the time. Go
read the Book of Ecclesiastes talks about life's not fair
and if you don't get grace in your heart, it's
gonna make you bitter. Here's an important question the person

(15:53):
that I wrote on this, Is it right for this
person to just get off scot free? Is it right
for this person to just get away with murder? They
hurt me and they don't have to pay for it.
Is it right? What I'm saying is is forgiveness fair?

(16:14):
And the answer is absolutely not. It is not about fairness.
It is not about justice. It's about grace. You don't
forgive a person because it's the fair thing to do.
You forgive a person because it's the right thing to do.
And you don't want your heart full of poison. You

(16:34):
don't want your heart holding on to the hurt and
the hate. People have said hateful things about me for years.
And if I held on to that hurt, and I
held on to that hate, and I held on that resentment, said, well,
they said that about me, they wrote that about me,

(16:56):
and they did that, and they did that behind my back.
Would be a miserable man. I would be in a
self imposed torture chamber. It is the grace of God
that gives you forgiveness. Now, why do we talk about
the grace of God because you don't deserve God's forgiveness.

(17:18):
You don't You don't deserve for God's for goodness. But
Jesus paid for it with his life. It wasn't fair
that you were forgiven. It's not fair that you don't
have to pay for your sins. But it's not about fairness,
it's about grace. The Bible says this here on the screen.
Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross.

(17:42):
You've seen crosses all around this auditorium and also outside.
Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross.
That wasn't fair. He hadn't done anything wrong. Why did
he have to die. He did it for us so
that we would stop living for sin and start living

(18:03):
for what is right. And you are healed because of
his wounds. What Jesus did on the cross has paid
for all your sins to heal all the hurts in
your heart. Now, friends, forgiveness is free, but it is
not cheap. It cost Jesus his life, It cost God

(18:28):
his son. And as Jesus was dying on his cross,
with his arms outstretched and the blood was dripping down.
He was saying, Father, forgive them, Father, forgive them. They
don't know what they're doing. He was saying, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I love you, I

(18:49):
love you, I love you, I love you. He was saying,
they don't deserve it, they don't even know what they're doing.
But Father, forgive them. I leave it to God. I
heal it with grace. There's one other thing that I
need to do with my hurt and with that hang up,

(19:10):
I need to nail it to the cross. I need
to nail it to the Cross. I wish I had
time to go into a ten week series right now
just on the power of the Cross. Everything you need
in life is found in the power of the Cross.
Jesus on the Cross broke the chains of sin and

(19:32):
death and bondage and addictions and habits and all of
the things. And the Cross has the power to free you.
You say, free me from what, Free you from prass guilt,
free you from past grudges, free you from prass grief,
to free you from your regrets, and to free you

(19:53):
from your resentment. Nothing else can heal you like that.
There's no psychology, there's no theology. There's no pill, there's
no therapy, there's no book, there's no self help seminar.
Nothing is going to release you from the hurt in
your mind of people who've hurt you, and the guilt
in your mind from people you've hurt except the Cross.

(20:17):
It is God's answer to all our needs, and that's
why millions of people wear a cross around their neck.
It is the symbol of the power to free you
from the bondage of bitterness. Notice this verse on the screen.
We know that our old life died with Christ on
the cross so that our sinful selves would have no

(20:41):
power over us. Now, notice that our sinful selves would
have no power over us. What does that mean. It
means my natural inclination to do the wrong thing. My
natural inclination when you hurt me is to hurt you back.
My natural inclination when you say something bad against me,
say something bad against you and hold on to it

(21:01):
and never forgive you. And all of the things that
I'm naturally inclined to do actually make it worse. We
know that our old life died on the cross, and
so that our sinful selves would have no power over us.
We can break that bondage to bitterness, that bondage to guilt,
that bondage to resentment, that bondage to worry, and we

(21:22):
would no longer be slaves to sin, slaves to the past,
slaves to hurtful memory. Forgiven. Let me ask you a
very important question. How badly do you want to be
healed of that hurt? How badly do you want to

(21:46):
let it go? Do you want to just keep holding
on to it and become a bitter, old, crusty person.
It's a little late for some of you. Please forgive me,
Please forgive me. How badly do you want to be

(22:08):
released from this pain? Are you tired of keeping going on?
And I've gone over that in a thousand times in
my mind, or a hundred thousand times, and every time
I think of it again, it still hurts. What my
dad did, what my brother did, what my mom did,
what my husband did, and every time I think about it,

(22:30):
it still hurts. I want us to bow our heads
right now? Would you bow your heads? And I want
you to think of the name or names that you
wrote on this card, or should have written. Think of

(22:51):
the name or names that you wrote on this card
or should have written, and I want you to follow
me in this prayer. In fact, I think I want
us to pray it aloud together with our head's bowed. Father.
Only you understand how much I've been hurt. Father, Only

(23:15):
you understand how much I've been hurt by these people.
By these people, I don't want to carry the pain
for another second. I don't want to be a bitter person.
But I need your grace and the power of the

(23:37):
Cross to release my hurt and to forgive those who've
hurt me. This is the turning point. First, I need
to experience your forgiveness. You know all the ways I've heard,

(24:03):
and I'm so sorry for my sins. Jesus, thank you
for dying for me. I accept your grace and forgiveness
and I need it daily. Today I'm turning to you

(24:27):
and I'm choosing to forgive the way you have forgiven me,
And every time the memory comes back, I'll forgive them
again until the pain is gone. Heal my heart with

(24:49):
your grace in Jesus' name.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Amen, If you just prayed to receive jesus congratulations, we
would love to send you some free materials to help
you along. On your spiritual journey. Just email Rick at
pastorick dot com. Again, here's Rick to tell you how

(25:16):
you can help support this ministry.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Jesus told his disciples that they should live their lives
according to five specific purposes. He said, You've got to
love God with all your heart. That's worship, and love
your neighbors yourself. That's ministry. That's called the Great Commandment.
And then Jesus said, go make disciples. That's evangelism. Baptize
them into the Family of God. That's fellowship, a sign

(25:39):
of fellowship. And then he said, teach them obey everything
I've taught you. That's discipleship. And we call that the
Great Commission. We believe it daily hope that a great
commitment to the Great Commandment and the Great Commission will
produce a great Christian, a great church, a great company,
a great community. You know. I started Daily Hope so

(26:01):
I could spread the good news about Jesus, not just
across America, but all around the world. And we want
people to know that God's word is filled with hope
and truth and the power that we need to follow
him every day is available to every single one, you know,
as well as I do that the Word of God
changes lives. It's a live it's active, and it bringes

(26:23):
new life and new love into all of our lives.
So wherever you listen to this, whether you listen on
the website, whether you listen on a radio station, or
whether you listen to a podcast, you're a part of
the Daily Hope family, and I need your help. We
could not do this without your support. Now, you know,
I don't take any funds from this broadcast. We don't

(26:44):
have any giant, million dollar donor who's giving big gifts
to this. It comes from daily donations from listeners like you.
We're one hundred percent listener funded. Would you continue to
pray for this broadcast and would you continue to support us?
And let write to me, let me hear from you.
I absolutely love reading the stories that are sent to me.

(27:07):
So write me, pray for me and support this ministry,
and God will bless it, and God will bless you,
and we'll get to heaven and we'll thank God for
all the people going to be in heaven because you cared.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
Hey, if you'd like to support Pastor Rick's Daily Hope,
just go to pastorick dot com. Again, that's pastorick dot
com and really, from the bottom of our hearts, we
thank you so much for your support. Your gift to
Daily Hope helps us share the hope of Christ with
people everywhere. This program is sponsored by Pastor Rick's Daily

(27:39):
Hope and your generous financial support.