Fellowship One with Pastor Ed Young

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Creative Connection with Ed Young. We're glad
you've joined us today to hear ED connect faith to
everyday life. Before we get to today's message, we want
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(00:22):
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(00:42):
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to connecting with you there. Now, let's get into today's
message with Pastor Ed Young.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
I have a question for you. What did they influence
you to do that you would not have done if
they hadn't been around? What did they that's right, influence
you to do that you would not have done if
they hadn't been around. I'm talking about the sway of

(01:33):
the they in your life and in mind, because all
the time we say they said they feel they have
been coming to me and now and then we'll say
who are they? The other day someone said, ed your
reason the word they? Who are they? I said, they them, them, those, those, Well,

(01:59):
they're just a few. Who are the they in your life?
How do you spell relational relief? It's fascinating that we
have all of this study, we have all of this
training and all these areas of life, yet when it
comes to the most important area of life, relationships, rarely

(02:23):
do we have any training. Rarely do we have any teaching.
And that's why we're launching into this book. We're launching
into the series because you don't just drift into relationships.
You're not just sucked into the vortex of some connection
with another person. We should choose our friends, We should

(02:47):
choose the they in our lives. Wisely, the Bible says
in the Book of Proverbs, Proverbs specifically chapter twenty seven,
verse nineteen, it's one of my favorite verses about the
in your life. A mirror reflects a man's face. And
as I look out here at this vast audience, I

(03:07):
think that most of you looked in a mirror this morning.
You look really good. And a mirror shows us physically
what we look like. Correct, But if you really want
to know what you're like, the Bible says, but what
he is really like, what she is really like is
shown by the kind of friends that we. Let's stay
together choose. I have an opportunity to choose friends. God

(03:37):
obviously is sovereign. Within his sovereignty, though he's given us
a freedom of choice. God has chosen you and me.
He's picked us for his team, so to speak. If
we have this relationship with God, the Bible says that
we are friends with God. Now we have sort of

(04:00):
decaffeinated the word friend, And I think social media has
done that. You know, we have certain amount of friends,
or we have followers, you know, and really are they
really are friends? And we defriend or unfriend someone, or
or we don't follow someone anymore? And in how many
likes did I get on that post or whatever it is,

(04:21):
So we've we've sort of decafeinated a friend. A friend, though,
what I'm talking about when I deal with that is
the is the they in your life. A friend is
a foundational relationship in everyone's natural domain. It's a foundational

(04:43):
or you could say, a forcible relationship. In everyone's natural domain.
We have friends. Everyone has friends. In fact, we are
made to relate to others. There's this God gap in
your life in mind. God can only fill. We yearn
for him, and this gap is shaped and across, and

(05:05):
we allow Jesus to take control of our lives. He
comes in and we have this vertical relationship with God. Also,
we yearn to relate with one another. So even as
a little one, we want to relate. We want to
connect with others. We connect with our parents, we connect
with others, and it's sort of just happens naturally. What

(05:25):
I want to get you to think about is I
want you to think about your friends. I want you
to think about the day in your life. Because if
you think about a swimming pool, there's a shallow end
and a deep end. Most of the people spend most
of their time in the shallows. We just kind of
stand around the shallows and relationally. That's so true as well.

(05:48):
We think that, oh yeah, I have all these real
friends and this is the way friendship and the days
should be. But I'm going to challenge you in this
series to swim away that's right, to swim away from
the wrong day and swim to the depths with the
right day. We're gonna answer questions like, who are they?

(06:12):
That's a that's a great question. Think about the people
in your life. Who are they? Who are the day
in your life? Those them, just a few? Who are
the day? Also think about what are they doing? I mean,
what what do they really do? What are they about? What?
What what do they do? What? What makes them click?

(06:32):
And then where are they going? Where are they are
they taking life? Where are they leading you? Because if
you run with the crowd, the crowd will run you.
It's crazy. Show me your friends, Yeah you've heard it before.
I'll show you your future. But I would say, show

(06:54):
me your friends, and I'll show you your past, your present,
and your future. That means I could sit down, you
can sit and we could predict with amazing accuracy where
we're going to be for the rest of our lives,
just by meeting our friends. Who are the they in
your life? Who are the they in your life. Who

(07:17):
are those foundational relationships who are in your natural domain?
The right they are always there? Isn't that great to
know God always places the right they in our lives.
Yet the wrong they can keep us from the right day.

(07:37):
The wrong they, I'll make it rhyme, can get in
the way of us seeing and choosing the right day. Parents,
listen to me very carefully. You have a monstrous mantle.
I have a monstrous mantle to bear when it comes
to relationships, because not only do I have relationships, not

(07:59):
only am I tasked with choosing the right day. The
little ones, as they grow and to become bigger ones,
they are gonna choose the same kind of they that
I choose. So, hey, kids, you can look at your parents'
friends right now, and I'll bet you cash money your

(08:20):
friends look like their friends. Here's here's a relationship grid
that I try to use. Affiliation affiliation. Who do you
hang out with, who's your squad? You know? Who is
in your clique? Who do you associate with? Who's your affiliation?

(08:41):
Think about that for a second, okay, because your affiliation
will always tell you what you're participating in. So you've
got affiliation. You've got participation. What are you participating in?
What are you doing? You're gonna be doing what the
they are doing in your life. And then you're always
He's going to a certain destination. Where are you going?

(09:04):
Are you gonna just stay in the shallows? Or are
you going deep? And so often we think we're deep
in the shallows, but in reality we're shallow. God, though,
wants us to go deep. I think about various people
in the Bible. It's so interesting to see the right
day and the wrong day in scripture. You remember this

(09:25):
guy Solomon. Solomon arguably one of the most intelligent people
who ever walked on planet Earth. I think we could
make a case for him being the wealthiest person to
ever walk on planet Earth. He lived for God, but
God told him, hey, Solomon, listen to me, man, don't
go solo. Do what I tell you to do. I

(09:47):
want you relationally to have the right they in your life.
Read his story in the Book of Ecclesiastes and in
other areas of the Old Testament. He said, you know, God,
I'm smart. People are coming from all over the world
to hear me wax eloquently about different subjects. I'm gonna
do what I'm gonna do. And the Bible says that
he loved foreign women and people who were not following

(10:14):
the Lord of lords. And for forty years, for four decades,
he wasted his life. And at the end of his life,
here's what he said in the Book of Eclesiastices. He
said this, he said, it's all vanity. He said, I
wasted my time. And then he said, remember God, when
you're young. That's why, Yes, this this series is for you.

(10:38):
If you're two, twenty two, fifty two, or seventy two,
it's for you. I really though, wanted to make an
indelible impression upon the young people because we have an
opportunity to do it God's way. And the die you're
setting today, students, children, young people, the die you're casting

(10:59):
to the patterns you're cutting today relationally will carry you
for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
You're listening to the creative connection with ED. Young stay
with us to hear more encouragement from Ed before we
get back to today's message. Most of us spend our
lives avoiding pain at every turn, so when we inevitably
experience pain, it sends us into a tailspin and we
can wonder if God even cares. We want to help

(11:29):
you discover how your faith can deepen even in the
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(11:50):
request your copy. Again, that's Edyong dot com slash give.
Now let's get back to today's message.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Think about the emotional problems that we deal with, I
would say, and I can make this broad brush statement
with pretty good confidence, I would say that all of
our emotional problems come back to the day in our lives,
either the right day, the wrong day, or some day situation. Also,
I would say, the emotional health in our midst can

(12:27):
be traced back to the day in our lives. Again,
let me say, who are they think about Solomon? He
had the affiliation, the association of the wrong people. Look
at his participation, wasted his life, and look at his destination.
He said, Man, I was just tasting my tail. I
was just swimming around and around and around in circles.

(12:48):
Then you think on the other hand, a really good
guy in the Bible who understood the right day. His
name was Daniel. Remember Daniel. Daniel was in a very
ungodly place, Babylon, a long way away from home, in
a place full of temptations and snares. And what did
he do? He found the right day were the right day?
Shad drag Mishak and abed Nego, you remember those guys,

(13:10):
the faithful Fireman. He hung out with them, and even
though it cost him some stuff, even though God allowed
some testing to go in his life, he hung out
with the right they because they always have something to
say right. This affiliation caused him to do the right participation,

(13:30):
to do the things God wanted him to do. His destination.
What happened to Daniel? He was one of the major
leaders in this whole nation. Who are they? Some days
are are fray days? You know, he fray days. You
have people in your life, so do either kind of
fray people. They're therefore seasoned and they're gone. They're kind

(13:53):
of on the edge. And you might call them your friends,
maybe they follow you in some sort of social media application.
But but but they're not really your friends. They're just
kind of there and they're gone, the Fray people. And
look at the life of Jesus. He had fray people
kind of hangers on. And the Bible said when sometimes
Jesus would give a hard saying that, many of the
people are like, oh man, that's too hard, We're not

(14:15):
going to do it. The fray people. Also, we got
some pray people in our lives. Anybody pray in your life?
Are you kidding me? How do you know if you're
dealing with a pray friend, they're not really a friend,
they're just crazy. Well you can see the you can
see the whites of their eyes when they talk to you.
They invade your personal space, they blow up your phone.

(14:36):
That's the cray friends. All about drama and trauma. You know,
drama doesn't just walk into your life. Have you discovered
that you either create it, invite it, or associate with it.
Isn't that the truth? The pray people and Jesus even
dealt with them. We love the fray people, We love
the pray people. Yeah, they're not the right day. And

(14:59):
I believe the enemy puts the fray in the cray
in everybody's way to keep us from the right day.
I truly believe that. And we spend so much time
in the fray and with the cray that we miss
the beauty and the depth that God has for us.

(15:20):
So you got the fray people, you got the cray people,
and then you got the way people. The way I mean,
Jesus said John fourteen six. I'm the way. There's truth
and the life. They're on the way, they're not in
the way, they're showing you the way. Let me talk
about self esteem, because self esteem is inseparably linked to

(15:40):
what I'm just talking about. If you hang out with
the wrong day, you begin to compare yourself to them,
and you'll never become you. You just become one of them
because you're not looking to God, and they're not pointing
you to God. You're just looking to you right and

(16:00):
to your left. I love social media, but social media
is ESPN living. It's highlight real living. It's not real.
I mean, it's not a real person's real life. And
there's so much comparison and envy and jealousy and I'm
not doing that and they're doing this and I'm here
and you're there. It could jack you up if you

(16:22):
o d on that. So we've got to be very
very careful what we put into our lives. The right
day though the right day they give us our secondary props.
Our primary props come from God. A healthy self esteem
is okay, I see myself the way God sees me.

(16:43):
That's a healthy self esteem. But also we're made as
relational creatures. So the right day in your life and
mind will point me back to God. It's not gonna
be jealousy or envy or drama or trauma or fray
or pray no no, no, babe. Are going to show
me and show you the way six questions. And once

(17:04):
you go through these and answer these honestly sincerely, you'll know, Okay,
I'm hanging out with the right day or I'm hanging
out with the wrong day. And if you got a
wrong day problem, you got to turn and swim away
from the day to the right day. And it's not
always easy. It's sometimes just tumultuous, and we're going to

(17:26):
talk about that during this series. Number One, do they
motivate me do the right day? Hopefully they're the right
day to love God more?

Speaker 1 (17:38):
More?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Do they motivate me and stimulate me to love God more?
The Bible says in Hebrews three, verse thirteen. Encourage one
another daily as long as it's called today. When you
think about something encouraging, don't just think about it, Say

(17:58):
it is this person like negative? Ned? Are they like
always down Donna, drama and depressed and you're always having
to lift them up and pick them up. You're with
the wrong day, baby, the wrong day. Number two, Do
they celebrate God's blessings in my life? Proverbs eleven ten.

(18:24):
The whole city celebrates when the godly succeed the right day?
They're like, man, you don't work half as hard as
I do, and you made all that money. Good for you, man,
you did such a great job at that. I mean
I could easily be envious over it. Why can they sing?

(18:45):
Why can they dance? I can't do it. I mean, hey,
good for you, man, that's awesome. That's amazing. Because God's
favor is not fair. We're all uniquely gifted. In the
right day. Is gonna applaud you. They're gonna cheer you
on and point you to God. Number three, do they

(19:06):
have my back? I got you back? Do they have
your back in my back? Proverbs seventeen seventeen. A friend
loves at all times, and a brother is born for
a time of adversity. Your real friends are people who
are in your corner when everyone else is bolted. All

(19:30):
you have to do is go through a time of betrayal,
a time of difficulty, a time where things aren't going
that well, a time where it's a bear market, and
see who is with you. Number four Another question, do
they hold me? That's right? Do they hold me accountable?

(19:53):
Out of love and friendship? This is a major, major, major, major,
major question to ask an answer. Accountability, though, emerges out
of affinity. You don't just walk up and say, man,
you're messed up and they're sinning your life, and man,
that's not accountability. It emerges out of love. Jesus said,

(20:20):
speak the truth in love. You have to earn that right,
and I encourage you with your right. They to have
a personal board of directors. I've had a personal board
of directors in my life for several decades now. That's
why I feel you know some authority to be able
to talk about this, to come alongside you and go, Okay,

(20:42):
here's what God has taught me. I want to give
you the four to one one on scripture. This stuff
works I've not done it perfectly, but I've done it
God's way. I've pastored here for twenty five years, and
Lisa and I have amazing friends, amazing days that God
has deposited into our lives. Yes, over the years we've

(21:04):
had to swim away from some I understand all that,
and we're going to talk about that. But God's way
works when it comes to relationships. God's way works, and
people have to love you enough to tell you the truth.
Wounds from a friend. Proverbs twenty seven six says can

(21:26):
be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Again, let's go
back to David. David totally messed up. He was in
the deep weeds and somebody on his personal board of directors, Nathan,
looked at him as a David, you're messing up. David

(21:46):
received it okay, okay, because he knew that Nathan had
his best interests in mind. Here's another one, number five.
Do they live what they believe? So on one nineteen
sixty three. I'm a friend to all who fear you,

(22:08):
to all who follow your precepts. Do they live it out?
I mean, do they live it out? If you meet
someone and you're wondering Wow, are they a follower of Christ?
I'm not sure that's the wrong day. If you meet
someone and they're not actively involved in a Bible teaching,

(22:30):
Bible believing church, they're not going to be the right day.
I can tell you that right now. Growing up, I
was involved in athletics, and I was involved in going
to public schools. And I'll remember, even as a young guy,
third fourth, fifth grade, making relational choices based on what

(22:54):
I was learning at church, based on the authority of
my parents, and based on what God, what the Holy
Spirit was teaching me, even as a little guy. Number six,
Do they have the right day in their lives? WHOA
look at their track record? How do they spell relational relief?

(23:15):
Tewod Corinthians six fourteen. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers?
WHOA is that profiling? Some liberals would call that profiling?

Speaker 1 (23:23):
What for?

Speaker 2 (23:26):
What do wicked What do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
What do fellowship? What fellowship can light have with darkness?
What's what's going on here? Our best friends? The right day?
We have to be equally yoked. I'm not talking about
an egg I'm not talking about egg whites here. No, no,
we were talking about a yoke. A yoke is a
piece of farm equipment where you would hook up animals

(23:49):
of the same kind and of the same strength. They
would plow straight lines. God wants us to walk in unison,
to have the right affiliation, participation, and destination. He wants
us to go on a straight line, and it happens

(24:10):
when we're equally Yo.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Thanks for joining us today on the Creative Connection with
Ed Young. We hope you've been encouraged as Ed's shown
you how you can connect your faith to everyday life.
We'd love to help you even more in your spiritual
journey by sending you at and Lisa Jung's book A
Path through Pain. This resource will help you see God's presence,

(24:33):
love and care in the middle of your suffering. And
it's our thanks for your gift to help connect faith
to everyday life for more people around the world. Just
head over to Eddyong dot com slash give to request
your copy. Again, that's Edyoung dot com slash give. Thank
you for your support. We'll see you next time. On

(24:54):
the Creative Connection