September 15, 2020 • 59 mins
The moment they step off the dance floor, AJ McLean and Cheryl Burke are telling you everything. Joined by their friend, Rene Elizondo Jr., they’re breaking it down, bringing the drama, and baring all.
AJ might as well be nude, he’s giving you the naked truth. Get to know the real Cheryl Burke underneath the glitter and spray tan there is so much more than meets the eye. We’re going way beyond the ballroom…
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome everybody. Um two, my heart, it's brand new podcast,
pretty messed up with myself. A J. McClean, they're beautiful,
gorgeous and talented, Rene Alizondo. And then this other broad
(00:29):
um no, the ridiculous Cheryl Burke. I'm dying laughing the
first time that that a j has ever made me
laugh genuinely actually, So that here's the thing, right, Like
you guys just came off the set, which is insane.
You drive through McDonald's, which is not on my diet,
(00:49):
by the way, but she jumps she jumps in on time,
not like you, Cheryl jumpson not eating, ready to go professional.
But none the less, we're here. I wanted to say,
you know what I wanted to tell you before we
get going on Dancing with the Stars in your performance,
remember that joke I made up a long time ago,
knock knock, who's there? Now it applies to me, what
(01:14):
knock knock? Who's there? Renee? Renee? Who? Exactly? That's how
I feel on the show. He's got great shells Burke.
You've got a J. McClean from the Backstreet Boys, and
then you've got dude, right, you've got dude over here
so listen, I really want to know. I watched you
(01:35):
guys tell me everything, like the setup, Well, where to begin? Well,
would you like me to intervene in your French fries?
Because why you're talking, I'm chewing it's perfect the mic. Well,
so basically we had a very long day, right, long
(01:56):
story short though to cut it naff. It is really strange,
I have to say personally for me to perform with
no audience like none, and like as Renee, you're an
entertainer as well, and you can you imagine doing a
show like this for fifteen years and then all of
a sudden you're like here crickets after you're driving your
ass off. Honest to god, I can I cannot even
(02:18):
imagine you guys having to deep that deep, I mean
dig that deep for your energy deep and listen. I love.
This is why I love ball room dancing because it
is very intimate, right, It's always been in front of
an intimate setting, and it's about, you know, telling a
story between two people that somebody's looking in. We're not
dancing out like we're not like entertainers like Broadway like that,
(02:38):
but that hasn't happened since a while, Like since maybe
ten twelve years ago, and now we're bringing it back
in a way. But even back then we had an audience.
Now I'm making my partner sing to me as if
he's a Backstreet boy, which he still is, but a
soloist as we're driving. No, I mean, look, it's it was.
(02:59):
It was a just smith of sorts. But you know,
Cheryl and I have been talking about this for the
last two weeks. Like you know, whenever she talks about
the word connection, it's like that's between her and I
and nobody else, whether without an audience. And to be honest,
like I have a newfound respect for ballroom dancing period
(03:22):
in general, and to be able to hopefully have as
much energy with just her and I with zero crowd.
That speaks volumes to our chemistry, to our connection, and
that's what's key. That's at least that's that's what I'm
learning so far, is that's what makes ballroom ballroom is
(03:43):
that connection between just two people. You know, it's not
just like connection with the eyes. It's connection like body weight,
like counterbalancing each other. Oh god, that word counterbalance. It's
but that was just one of your challenges, not having
an audience for the first time. You also, you guys
also had to deal with like going first too, well yeah,
(04:08):
on top of each other, but like having to go first.
I know that, I know there's always a little added
challenge being the first one. You have nothing to measure against,
you don't know, like oh, and you don't hear the audience,
which even is even crazier. Right, Normally you get to
go second or third, and you hear the audience response,
(04:29):
you see what they respond to, you get a temperature.
But here, you guys are crickets, and first I think
it influences the judges, those the audience members, Like I
could tell when Bruno was judging, he was looking for validation,
but there was nothing but a wall in front of
his face. You know. He used to like he would
be saying a joke or whatever, and of course naturally
(04:49):
look over to see if anyone was laughing, and it
was just us standing up on the second and third
balcony up there, um, And I felt bad, like I'm
not normally one to like. After I performance, I run
to my trailer and I just decompressed. But I actually
felt like I needed to be there for the other competitors.
And I was just like cheering them on. I just
realized that, like, it's not easy, and I don't care
(05:10):
if people are like pretending to say it is, because
it's not like if you're an actual entertainer, especially for
the professional dancers, this is really difficult. Well, I thought
was funny though really quick, what which which? I? And
this was now it's going to become a Umi and
Cheryl thing because it was only between her and I,
but somebody was on stage performing and she's like basically
(05:34):
people at home were complaining that the that the that
the fake applause was too loud, Like, oh my god,
it was. It was like really loud. Oh I wish
we would have heard it on the floor. I know
it was like very faint, and honestly, I agree with you, Cheryl.
Anybody who says it doesn't make a difference, they're not
(05:58):
being genuine. I remember tour with Janet. There were times
backstage she didn't look like she was going to be
able to do five minutes of a concert. But the
minute the lights go out and the crowd goes crazy,
you get this adrenaline and she would then do the
show and adrenaline is real. It's real. I am a junkie.
(06:21):
It's a real drug. Do not see my My trampoline
jumped in me. That's what I was. That was nothing
like No, that was like rehearsal. I might have been
about four or five ft off the ground, just trying
to really get a good superhero landing. Tonight, I was
(06:45):
more like twelve or thirteen feet off the ground. I know,
I got mad ups like I felt like Jordan for
a minute. It does exaggerate a little. Well either way,
it was higher than I should have no, but you know,
back to the adrenaline that was. That was the first time.
(07:07):
I'll just say this, that was the first time that
I was high and I and I probably didn't enjoy
it like I used to back in the day. So
it was rest when I watched it. When I when
I watched it and I knew you had a trampoline,
you had told me, But when I saw you take off,
I was like, Oh, this is not this is not
(07:30):
this is not gonna end. Well is he Like I
felt like I burned on re entry, Like yeah, he
did this during rehearsal on Sunday, and I was like,
don't let it throw you off like this is not
the jibe. You're not getting judged on a trampoline, John,
believe me. Well yeah, and then like poor Cheryl, like I,
I just want to make it a point to just
(07:52):
hats off to the to all of the pros, because
how much you guys do. It's more than just choreograph
and dance, Like you guys are in evolved with the wardrobe,
with the lighting, with the creator like you guys do everything.
How about psychologists, psychologists and like literally like guru but
like you know, her and I were going back and forth,
(08:15):
and she was going back and forth, and we were
trying to like maybe not have the camera on me
when I landed and have it on her. It's important,
you know, like you want to hide We all we
all have the same goal, right, we just make a
great show. If we're the opening number, then we need
to like come out there and not fall on our butts.
So let's hide it. Let's show me if we do
(08:35):
fall it's not And not not to sing like a fanboy,
but you guys really did well. I mean you went
on first. It's your first one. You get you know,
you get to I don't know, but obviously maybe not you.
But you had a little bit of butterflies going into
that I did. I mean she even said it's I
(08:58):
couldn't see it on you. Well, I have meditating has
helped me night and day, Like this time, this time
last season, I was a freaking nervous wreck. I'm so
glad to hear you say you meditate. Anyone who doesn't meditate,
I feel sorry for Honest to God, a meditation is uh,
(09:19):
changed my life, change my life whole another show, And
I'm sure we could go down that hole for a
long time because we talk about this all the time,
prayer and meditation. But back to like Dancing with the Stars,
were you guys, how aware are you guys with like
Carole Baskin and what she's gonna do, And I mean,
(09:40):
there's got to be some human element, right, you know.
Unfortunately because of COVID, we're not like normally okay, So
we would all be hanging out, we would be like
in each other's trailers, we would be totally you know,
going out every night, like that's what you do when
you have a lovely cast, which I think we do.
There's some seasons where people are not connecting, but then
I feel like this then like people are actually really connecting,
(10:01):
even if we're not connecting physically. But so with Carol Baskin,
I don't know. I seriously don't even think we've officially met,
just me and her. We met via zoom. I gave
her one of my masks, line work masks. I haven't
received the thank you yet, so that's fine. But what
I'm giving her another day or two. Yeah, well, you know,
(10:22):
I'm kidding. Um No, this is a really good cast.
I mean, look again, I have nothing to compare it to.
It's my first time doing the show. But to continue
with what Cheryl saying, everybody is very forthcoming and gay kind.
And you know, when you come into a show like this,
everybody becomes a family kind of overnight. You know, whether
(10:43):
it's the production side, you know, the cast, all the
all the prose. Everybody's fantastic. It was one of the
pros first first first time on the show, Britt it
was her first you guys, breaking news. Pasha, which is
who is Carol Baskin's partner, professional partner, has made it
to Lady Gaga's um Instagram story. He has officially made it.
(11:08):
This guy good for him, at least if he's going
to dance with her. If you can get at Leasta,
you can get on Lady Gaga's Instagram story. You guys, Um,
who is that? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
It's the neighbor and they'll they do it once in
a while, not on purpose, but there it's gone. I
(11:29):
think they just saw Carol basking dance on Dancing with
the Stars. I just feel like that kind of interrupted
the breaking news. Okay, I'll say it again, So breaking news. Pasha,
Carol Baskin's professional partner on Dancing with Stars, has like
officially made it. We have this chain going on with
all the dancers, and I guess he's on Lady Gaga's
(11:50):
story Instagram story right now. Yeah, so Lady Gaga's watching
Dancing with the Stars. You guys love it. My kids,
we would like lose their mind. They I hope she
tuned in from the beginning. So do I let me
come on? You know you actually do? I? Yes? Um, so,
I I don't want to like get too serious here,
(12:15):
but obviously I've known you for a long time a
j and uh to see you stepping up like you
did today sober, not hiding behind alcohol or anything else.
I just have to tell you I was extra proud
(12:35):
for you, of you, and and I just wanted to
say that because you know, well, well, in this show,
we're gonna get into divulging a lot of you know, yeah,
there's crazy stuff. And then then the more you learn
about where he's been, the more you realize, holy crap,
(12:58):
he did that sober. Yeah, you know, I mean there's
a lot, but and you're right, well, we have a
while to build up to. I don't want to scare
people away, but no, it's it's it's absolutely true. Like
you know, I I can confidently say I'm proud of
(13:18):
myself because you know, I know the old way I
was with the level of stress that comes with this show,
because I'm not gonna lie. It's very stressful. It is.
It's it's like flight. It is. And had I been
(13:40):
still actively in my disease, oh, I guarantee you many
a night I would have gotten loaded just to calm
down from. And if you were my partner five years ago,
you'd be screwed. Oh yeah, yeah, we we wouldn't get
much accomplished. So anyways, I just wanted to say that
you guys like I'm so proud of both of you.
(14:03):
I have nothing but the most admiration for dancers, for choreographers.
Sher life told you some of the most creative people
I've ever met started off as dancers, you know, and then,
like I said, a j he this this is not
just performing, you know on the show. It's doing it sober,
(14:29):
and it's doing it on your own, not without. You know,
it's always easier. I know with your boys, it's You're
used to look into right to your left. Here, it's you.
It's you and no audience. Yes, and zero audience, but
lots of adrenaline and lots of adrenaline and over loud
zero audience. But then Lady Gaga's watching what the hell yeah?
(14:51):
And then really loud, fake audience claps that overpower the performances. Yes,
that's funny, you did great. I'm proud of you. By
the way, we can end it right there, thank you.
I'm proud of you, my black cold heart over here,
you know. Yeah, it is very icy working on my delivery.
(15:14):
By the way, do you know how many little fringe
thingies were stuck in the bottom of my sneaker when
I walked out of my trailer from your outfit in
your freaking mouth. It got stuck in my sneaker. I
was walking to my car and I'm like, what am
I stepping on? And they were like all woven into
the bottom of my shoe. So thank you for that.
I love it any time. Okay, everybody, welcome back to
(15:51):
Pretty Messed Up. I am a J. McLean, joined by
the beautiful Cheryl Burke and my my brother from another mother,
Mr Renee Alisando. Um, I'm blown away. First of all,
let's just say, like, how the hell did I end
up doing the podcast that you guys know you guys,
(16:15):
you guys are friends. How the hell did I come?
It's obvious how you're needed, it's obvious who you are. Uh.
And then it's like, dude, like I said, I'm my
brain is like this is awesome. I mean I love it.
Don't get me wrong. I love talking. I love talking
to A J. I want to get to know Cheryl
(16:36):
a lot more. I've got so many questions, uh, with
a kind of everything. There's nothing people. I'm excited because
you're here because I can then now bitch to you
about like rehearsals and like how a J just complained
and has excuses for everything. Yeah, because that's what happens really.
(16:56):
Um no, you know, So a little backstory for all
you guys that are listening right now. UM, as far
as the title of this podcast, pretty messed up. Um,
you know, the at the epicenter, all three of us
have had a little bit of a rough go at life. Uh,
(17:19):
not really living life on life's terms. I think that's
very fair to say. We've all had a pretty bumpy road,
um live to tell about it. And yes, but that's
the upside to the story, is that we're all here
talking to you right now, all you guys out there listening, um,
because we kind of came out the other side, um,
(17:41):
which is a testament to a lot of things, which
well yeah, I mean, look, it's it's a it's a
daily reprieve and it's a and it's it's a daily
uh you know challenge to just like I said, live live,
you know, life on life's terms and really just take
(18:01):
take the good and the bad all of it and
you know, wash your hands clean, let go move on,
don't harbor things. And you know, I think where where
I am today from where I was ship nine months ago. Um,
you know I was, I was out of my ever
(18:23):
live in mind. And if I was where I was
nine months ago today, I guarantee you I wouldn't be
doing Dance from the Stars. They wouldn't have even asked
me to do it again. I would have probably been
a liability. Um. You know, there wouldn't be enough insurance
to cover Yeah, but I mean yeah, I wouldn't want
to put myself out there like that, especially being a father.
(18:46):
I want to set a great representation of of of
a dad to my kids. I want to be a
great husband to my amazing wife as well as you know,
I want to be able to kind of spread joy
and love to the masses. You know, I've done it
through music, thankfully and gratefully I've now I'm doing it
(19:08):
through through dance. Um. And then you know, that's the
upside of this to this show is you know, at
the end of the day, if us telling our personal
stories and us just just being ourselves helps even one
person out there, then we've then we've done what we've
set out to do. You know, it's really crappy times
(19:29):
right now. People are stuck at home, you know, people
have nothing to do, and people are scared and now
you know, you you you get a show like Dancing
with the Stars to come back and come back with
a vengeance, with a great cast and great pros and
just bring that joy back into people's homes. You know.
(19:52):
It's it's the it's the beginning of hopefully a a
ripple effect, because I know for me, I'm not going
back gone tour until April of next year. If that happens,
if that's a huge if you know, Um, I just
feel like with the normalcy though, like people like we've
seen the Voice come back, but they've been doing in
(20:12):
the comfort of their home, own homes and then but
then to see us back in the ballroom, it's still
it's different, but there's something comforting when you're living through
uncertain times to see something that is recognizable, right, um.
And I think as far as we go, and I
can speak for myself, UM, I've also you know, during
this pandemic, before I even knew I was going to
(20:34):
come back to Dancing with the Stars, I think I
feel like I've grown so much and I used I
think this time unintentionally maybe a little intentionally, but to
really work on myself and heal and it wasn't like
an easy process, I would say, um, but I also
wanted to stop being so codependent on my therapist to
(20:55):
where like I needed to talk to her daily. But
I was like, now's now, it's time to put her
work and what I know, which I've always said, like
I'm a great thera, because I was like, I wish
I could take my own advice. But enough with that,
you know, that's an excuse. And it's like I have
to take full responsibility over who I am as a
person and why I make certain decisions and and then
be okay with the fact that I do make certain
(21:18):
decisions and mistakes and failures. But I do believe you
can't succeed until you fail, you know. And there's this
whole thing. But I just even just learning the power
of meditation during this time, as so many people and
I hear, I hear everyone when they say, like this
is miserable, we just want to end, and you know,
and then I have learned during this time that there's
another perspective right to looking at anything. There's two sides
(21:41):
to every story, as you may have heard, but there's also, um,
a different way of using this time to your benefit.
Really and I feel like and I'm not the girl.
And I know a lot of people can totally hear
me when I say I you wouldn't describe me as
like missus positivity over here, right, That's like no, but yeah,
(22:04):
but I'm real and ship this is it. This is it,
Like I'm not going to pretend to be positive, but
I don't feel like it's see to me. I'll take
real over fake smiles any day. I sort of got
to me authenticity was what I battled with most of
(22:25):
my life. I was always trying to be what someone
wanted me to be, playing the chameleon, you know, but
I never felt that I belonged, you know. And so
for me, the upside of crashing and burning with drugs
and alcohol and then piecing it back together one piece
at a time, you get to find out who you
(22:46):
really are, right And once I was able to uh
find that that underneath all the layers I've heard you
a j talk about peeling the onion underneath it, I
found out like I'm no better, no worse than anybody else,
and all the pressure was off at that point. Doesn't
(23:06):
mean we don't strive to become better dancers to become
better songwriter, singers all that you still strive, but you
don't feel like God, if people really knew who I was,
they wouldn't want to be my friend or or it's
the it's comparing. The comparison is really oh my god,
especially for most of my life. But that that you
(23:29):
might as well like. And then just understanding, understanding that
we're all gonna die, like honestly just had thought of
that makes you really want to live your life right like,
and it makes you want to stop stressing about the
ship that you can't control. None of us are getting
out of here live. Then no one's getting out of
here live. And like you always tell me, like you know,
I made a mistake, I'm not a mistake right there.
(23:52):
That is That's how I live my life daily now
because I have to. I have to because you know, before,
if if you didn't like me, oh man, would I
go out of my way to to make you like me?
And then if they don't like you, then you have
to do everything to undermine them and make them the
(24:13):
villains exactly and find a reason to hate them. And
that's just yeah, it's a perfect way to waste your life.
And I definitely wasted many many years. But that's the
thing I always learned a little bit each time that
I would go back out and relapse always. But you know,
(24:36):
this time to kind of go back to what you
were talking about when you when you were first talking
about where you know, looking at the silver lining of
this of this pandemic right now is for me like
the same for you being kind of stuck at home.
Instead of just like losing all hope, you you can
(24:58):
then turn inward and for fcus on yourself. I've been
able to put together nine months sober. Why because I'm home,
I'm not on tour. I'm not I'm not putting myself
in in a compromising situation where I'm I don't have
a good sober foundation. And I'm doing a zoom meeting
every single day since March with all my sober buddies
(25:22):
every day. Like you know, they always joke about going
ninety and ninety week surpassed that ship. We're like a
hundred and fifty. But and I have to tell you guys,
I feel so fortunate that my pandemic sort of speak
happened many years ago when I crashed and burned my
(25:43):
own personal tragedy, you know, and I had to learn
to work through a lot of insecurities, work through a
lot of like critical self talk, you know. There I
look back and I think, man, that was some of
the toughest times of my life getting sober early sobriety,
(26:03):
because you feel like a raw nerve. And then I
got into the program and then happened right, and I
saw the rest of the world running around trying to
figure out how they're going to get through life. And
then I was like, wow, I'm already wearing like a
life vest. And when everyone else was running around trying
(26:25):
to figure out, they were asking me, well, what are
you doing to stay to stay calm, And it's like,
I'm doing what I did to not go back and
drink again, you know. And so for us, it is,
you know, um sense of community with like minded individuals,
you know, pushing towards you know, having the same goals
(26:47):
of staying staying sober. Prayer and meditation are huge, helping
another person of service, helping somebody helping. I mean, that
is really what I've been learning. Like It's it's like
you are who you hang out with, careful who you
hang out with. And then it's like being of service.
You can't love your love anybody else, so you love yourself.
(27:08):
And the people that that we talked to on a
daily basis, um, they will they will tell us how
they feel, you know. I mean this isn't about like
bar room talk. This is like, you know, someone will
tell you I'm struggling today, I'm having a really hard
time and this and that, and we we just feel
(27:28):
so privileged to be like thought of in such a
way where they trust us enough to sort of open
their chemo no and say I'm struggling today. And those
are the people that stay sober. The ones that walk
around acting like everything's okay all the time end up
relapsing because that's not it's back to back to your
(27:51):
point authenticity. You know, what we see is what we
get with Cheryl. And I'm not afraid of Cheryl, But
there are some people I'm afraid of when you when
they're constantly like everything's okay, everything's okay, and you're masking,
it's it's just numbing. It's masking or not accepting responsibility.
Like again, I'm also working on this is like everything
(28:11):
is you have to it's coming from you. Everything even
if I if I get upset that my husband leaves
the fridge open, which he does and a little too long,
but that's fine. And I also have sixteen cameras in
this house, so I just see everything. But he doesn't
need to know that I get piste off, that's no.
But like that's a trigger for me because of something
(28:34):
of me, like I have to you have to stop blaming,
blaming everything you feel is you. That's exactly right. It
all comes back to us and how we're reacting to something.
Like you used to always tell me, you got to
keep your side of the street clean. That's all you
have to worry about. You. If you then try to
(28:56):
consume yourself with another person, you are giving giving, giving
all your time, all your effort, all your energy. The
one person who's going to be hurting from that is you,
and you're giving that person power. It was that was me,
like I was kept in codependency, Like if you didn't
like me, I'm gonna go do whatever I can to
(29:17):
make you like me. I'm gonna do this, this, this,
and and then and then you know what, Like what
what was really a shock to me is when I
got sober the first time in two thousand one. Um,
how many people were no longer calling me or around
me when I checked out a treatment. And obviously because
those were all the leeches, those are all the hanger honors,
(29:39):
those are all the fake people that were only with
me because I could get into that club for free,
I can get bottle service for free, I can get
Let me tell you something though, Ever since I stopped drinking,
now it's been over two years, I know who my
friends are and who my friends. Thank you, thank you.
That just that one action, just that one. By the way,
I never announced to anyone. It was a promise. I
didn't even make a most of myself. My father passed
(30:01):
away a couple of years ago. My father was an alcoholic,
and I thought for sure I was either going to
go one way and check myself into rehab or go
to the go to the other way, right, And I
just it was literally our engagement party, my husband's and
I engagement party about two years ago. That night, I
just was like, I think I'm done, but I just
made it in an internal thing, it was like, and
(30:21):
then I just stopped because it was a problem. And
what a gift, right, the gift of knowing who your
friends are is like one of the createst gifts in
the world. No, because the truth is most most of
them were you. The bond was the drink or the drug,
you know, And it's just like talking talking crazy. Yeah,
(30:41):
I can. I can, literally, I think count on both
my hands, my like true true through thick and through
thin blood sweat into your friends. And then I've I've
I've recently acquired new friends that I would put if
I could count more than ten on my fingers, I would, um,
(31:03):
you know, in one in one sitting. But I have one.
I have one. Wow, Sometimes one is all you need,
you know, exactly. Honestly, I don't think I have the time.
And then my my husband obviously, you know, and then
and then you have me now so and most of
the day for you know, I have to tell you
(31:28):
guys that again, going back to the world we're living
in right now, like more than ever, I am so
grateful that I have a sort of routine that I
do daily to keep my head above water because I honestly,
with everything that's going on today with orange skies and
(31:49):
the sun, you know, right, and then news left and right,
because it's just crazy times, right and and I have
a daughter that's eight years old, and you know, I
make sure that I'm not looking like a crazy man
and passing that along. Dude, the photo that you posted
(32:10):
trip me out, so like his daughter, his daughter is
like her school is actually like letting kids come back
to school, but the very different, very different steps. Their
desk has a freaking plastic shield, no plexi all the
way around the way around, and they have to wear
a mask, and they have to wear a school uniform
(32:33):
and and and it's all socially distanced. And so I
took a shot of it and I sent it to
a j and I'm like, I feel like I'm in
some weird Japanese animized film right now. It's so surreal
to look at. I'm really curious, what is it? Really quick,
I guess what is your daily routine? So the second
(32:56):
I wake up, the very second I wake up, before
I check my phone, before I check my emails, before
I look at television, before I do anything, before I
talk to anyone, I start to pray, and I start
like right off the bat, for me, it's checking in
with my higher power and saying I need you to
(33:18):
keep me sober today. And that is like an admittle
that I don't have the power to stay sober. And
it's a good reminder. And then you know, I pray
for my family, I pray for my friends, and I
pray for the less fortunate, um and and it you know,
it takes a while. Then I meditate after that, so
by the time by the time I start with um
(33:42):
and and I'll change my prayers depending on what's happened,
like recently. I don't want to this to go too long,
but they say the most painful physical thing you could
go through is severe burns to your body because the
recovery of it, they have to scrape your dead skin off.
They'd say, it's like incredibly well, I've talked to women
(34:06):
who have had children and had burns, and they said
the burns are not nothing you ever, you wouldn't wish
on your worst enemy. Now they say the other emotionally,
the worst thing you could go through is the loss
of a child. Right and recently up north in Oregon. Uh,
the woman is in a burned unit right now, but
(34:28):
her child burned to death with his dog on the
lap on his lap in the car. And so I
when I prayed for her, this morning and yesterday the
day before. What it does is it instantly gives me perspective, like, Okay,
what do I want to complain about today? Right? Yeah?
(34:51):
You know what I mean. It's like, oh, I'm bothered
that the gardener woke me up early, and if I
told her that, she'd be like, really is that? I am?
I complain a lot, like I don't know why I do.
I think it's just like it's almost like a second language.
A j today was like, is there something that you do?
Like you know, like and I was like, oh, shoot,
(35:11):
he just put me on my place because I was like,
wait a second, sure, I'll stop acting like I feel
like it's like me complimenting, but it's really me complaining
and bitching about people. And for some reason it's but
this one's been tough for me to shake. All in
all in all in good time, my dear, All in
good time. You know, if it's even meant to happen,
it may not be what's on your what's on your
(35:31):
path that that might it is it is that's definitely
down the list. But I feel like right now and
I'm into the taking responsibility and I have to believe it,
you know, and that's that's that's a huge thing, Like
being able to hold yourself accountable, Like that was a big,
big issue for me, was like especially when it came
to my drinking in my party days, Like for whatever reason,
(35:53):
the one person I feel I know now, but the
one person I couldn't be honest with was my wife.
Like I could be honest with Renee, I could be
honest with you know, my best friend Chris. I could
be honest with so many other people, but not my wife.
He knew that, he knew that I wasn't going to
hold out sexually that yeah he you know, he yeah,
(36:15):
he would still give me a smooth here and there.
But no but with but with my wife, like I
was so I was so terrified of letting her down.
And that was my biggest thing, is like, you know,
I don't want her to to be disappointed in me,
you know, like because she is literally put it all
on the line for me, and the fact that she
(36:37):
stayed with me for almost eleven well almost ten years
of marriage, but we've been together for eleven years. She's
a I mean, she's like a superhero, Like to put
up with the ship that I've put her through. She's
a damn superhero. Both. Do you think that would I
guess she would have chose for you to tell her obviously, right, No,
that was the thing. It's like, look, obviously now now
(37:01):
that things have shifted in such a drastic turn for
me in my world of being sober, she's just like, like,
I've even I've even heard her talk to you on
the phone, and she's like, I don't know who this
guy is now, like this is this is I've been
waiting for ten years. So I joked, and I like,
I I try to think, how did I put it? Oh?
(37:24):
I said, yeah, so that was the temporary Alex model
that we had on the showroom floor. This is the
one you really ordered. Now we're gonna send that one
to the to like the you know, garbage pile, because
that one was just a rental. Sorry that we put
you through that for ten years. But this is the
version of the of your husband that you did purchase.
(37:46):
I have a question. So, in the eleven years you've
been married to your wife, how many times have you relapsed? Oh?
Countless times. I can't even remember, because I think the
longest stretch of sobriety that I put together since we've
been together maybe four months, and then I would go
back out. That's too because you lived with me when
you put together a good amount of time. Well that
(38:08):
was my wife. I mean like, yeah, I I was
engaged once before and that that fell apart. I was
gonna say, and I lived with him for nine months.
It was supposed to be two weeks and it was
nine months. And I will say, and you and you
can't deny it. It It was like we were both single then,
and it was like the best nine months of my life.
(38:33):
We had a blast playing video games just like it
was awesome. It was awesome, but no, it was a
good like it was literally so okay, long story short.
He was a member at a country club called Sherwood
(38:54):
and you're only supposed to bring a guest twelve times
a year, which once a month. So I live with
him for nine months. In that nine months, we probably
went times like like literally that's all we did. We
would get we'd go to a meeting, to a meeting,
and then go straight to the golf and we wouldn't
(39:15):
even talk in the morning, him and I we would
just walk out of the rooms dressed in golf gear
and and just new We're going to go to a
meeting and then we're gonna go That was our routine
for every single day except Mondays. Perfect communication. Oh yeah, yeah.
And I was going to say, you know, we its
(39:35):
getting back to the the crazy stuff from the past,
and you know, we'd like to say, like are we
on the spiritual path or the psychopath today? Right? Because
every moment, you know, gives you an opportunity to kind
of go into self and then it could be the
comparing you're talking about. You know, this show, though, I'm
(39:56):
telling you, this Dancing on the Stars thing is a test,
you know, not in a bad way, in a great way. Yeah.
And as a test for me after doing it for
so many years, the main reason why I would be
nervous to go back was more for my mental health
and it was for my physical health. Yeah, And I
think that's that's what our show is really going to
(40:17):
be about, and is you know, it's like it's just
a continuum of what you and I do every day,
and Cheryl does in her own way every day to
not let the crazies creep in. You don't want to.
It's your thoughts. Once you start to believe those thoughts
you're screwed because then you start spinning in it, and
then and then it becomes that like you used to
(40:38):
call me a tornado years ago because I was like
I anywhere I went, I would leave disaster behind me constantly.
I can't tell you now, please please, I just believe
that we're not our thoughts. Yeah, absolutely, it's good when
you couldn't believe that, right when you could believe it,
Because when when I could get right? Yeah, And I'm
(41:03):
human just like everyone else, and I can have my
good days, bad days, good moments, bad moments where I
could be triggered. The word you use something can trigger you, right.
Some of it goes way back to our childhood and
with us, thank god, through you know, kind of doing
this emotional excavation that we've had to do, we get
(41:25):
to connect these thoughts and realize, you know, not now,
but I will share with you guys some of the
stuff that used to trigger me, and thank god today
it doesn't at all, you know, And like when I'm
longer off the team, that definitely how did you How
did you get there? And how did you get you know?
We what we do is we end up doing something
(41:49):
called the personal inventory fearless and thorough personal inventory and
we write down all our deepest, darkest secret stuff. That yeah,
and then it sucks. And I gotta tell you, for
there isn't a single person that I've ever known that
(42:10):
doesn't think it's a daunting task, that it's that it's
an endless task. But you know what, Maya Angelo not
to drop a name, but she wants Oh, I got
to spend the weekend at her house, and I mean amazing,
and and I said to her, I said, uh, dr Angelo,
do you ever get writer's block? And she said, Honey,
(42:32):
it's like knitting a blanket. You can't knit it all
at once. You just start in one little corner. And
I was like, God, you're amazing. That's what I say
to you about the show is literally one step at
a freak. That's one step, but one step, that's it.
That's it. We but we want to have it all
done instantly, and then we get overwhelmed. Right. I told
(42:53):
you tonight, it's progress, not perfection. That's it. That's one
step at a time. Okay, So listen you. I'm looking
forward definitely to getting to know a lot more of
Cheryl's like history. I can't wait, I can't wait to
divulge some my heads, like I don't want to spoil it.
(43:14):
But when you get a call from a friend from
Vegas and says his Jeane jacket caught on fire and
he has no idea how you know he's going to
I think me and you are so lucky we didn't
party together back in our days, like he's here. Here's
what sucks? Would we even remember if we did? Maybe?
(43:35):
Maybe that's what's that's what's horrible is like? But I
think I do. Yeah, Hey, everybody, welcome back to pretty
(44:02):
messed Up. I am a J. McLean, joined by the
beautiful Sheryl Berg and my brother from another mother, my
Mexican brother, Mr Rene Alizon. No. Sound nice to be here,
huh so nice to me, man, it's nice to be
(44:23):
sitting like, thank god your house was closer than mine
and I could get here at a reasonable You know,
it's funny, you guys. For two days, I've had everything
set up and just sitting here looking at myself and
sort of God, and then you guys are off doing
everything like you guys are doing. Matt he was awesome,
(44:46):
by the way, he was awesome. But while you guys
are doing promos and and this and then photo shoots
and everything. I've literally been sitting here for two days
waiting just thinking to do a yeah, so you know,
like even doing this for a while and myself deformed. So, yeah,
(45:07):
you're doing fantastic, So I know that. Okay, so we
got week one with Dancing with the Stars under our belt.
It's done, it's over with. I can I can sleep
again at least tonight. No, at least tonight tomorrow night.
I probably won't again, but it's fine. So I know
that we're doing the Fox Trot. The Fox Trot is next. Um,
(45:30):
you know, we've we've started a little bit with learning
just the foundation the footwork, but which I feel like
I'm picking up pretty pretty good quicker than I did
the jive. Where it's gonna hold place, whole place, whole place.
Let's just rewind this. Well, where it's gonna be tricky
(45:52):
is the upper body. But so so the comparison is
no buena because every dance is going to have its
own challenges and even though technically the jive is going
to have more steps, foxtrot doesn't. But it's always harder
to move slower than faster, agreed, But the challenge is
(46:16):
not the steps, it's not the quantity, it's the quality. Right,
So it's like it's so much harder when and mind you,
why do you think we sped up our drive because
you don't see the mistakes as much. You can't be
sitting in the mistake longer. So like when you slow
when he when the music slow down, you see every
detail or you have to then really like stretch to
(46:42):
the point of no return. Like there's a great way
of terrifying people, doesn't she She's a great way of
setting me up. That's not the goal, not to butter
it up either. This is a crazy show. But what
there's the end of days, Well, you're not used to
and by the way, still not for a second week,
because you knew that you were gonna have the fox shot.
(47:02):
We started ahead of time, but starting next week, the
third week, you're gonna not know what dance you're doing
until the day after until we know we were saved
back into the studio. So the turnaround on Dancing to
the Stars is basically you've got two to three days
before we have to shoot a wide And that word
why is traumatizing because that means we have to dance
full out no matter what. So we have to dance
(47:24):
to music so the director can choreograph the cameras, right,
so they and they wanted extra early this season. So, um,
you're screwed. I'm kidding. Now, you're gonna You'll be fine.
One step, one step at a time, honestly, you know,
one dance at a time, one step at a time.
But it's also you got to clear that slate. That
slate is clean every every week. It doesn't matter who
(47:45):
got what score, you got this score, it doesn't matter.
You're starting over. No, And and you know, also me
like like going into this, I told myself it don't
worry about what what what everyone else is. Just focus
on you and your partner. And that's it. Like because
at the end, at the end of the day, it's
(48:08):
about America voting. It's about the fans voting. That's where
that part comes. A judges as well, of course, but
like it doesn't matter what the other it doesn't. But
also it doesn't matter if you win or not. Like
I said, already, I said it. I said it tonight
(48:29):
on the show. I said, I feel like I'm already
a winner. It's not a cash prize, No, I have
to can I just tell you, guys, is again not
to get back to the times we're living in, but
more so now than ever. Right what you guys are
doing is elevating people's moods. Do you know what I mean? Yes?
(48:54):
And to me, it's bigger, bigger than all of us.
It's big, and you know, for me, it's like it's
been going on for many years, dancing with the stars,
but this is the only Dancing with the Stars that's
ever happened during the pandemic. It's the first show that's
been back that we're going on set during a pandemic
(49:15):
and they're testing it out. But also, like Jenie, me
was very nervous today and she came into my trailer
social distancing of course, but I told her, I'm like, so,
what are you nervous about? So all I kept hearing
was her saying, my steps, my steps. But I said,
but what if you took yourself out of this, and
if I told you it's not about you, it's not
about anybody else, but it's about none of things, nothing
that we can control other than just bringing joy to
(49:37):
people's homes. What if what if I were to tell
you that someone wanted to possibly think of killing themselves,
but instead they're watching you so also your ass off
and because of you and your song and your spirit,
they've maybe are just enjoying this moment for once. I
love it probably a while, you know. And then mentality.
And that's my point that it's like, yes, you guys
(49:58):
are going to have to work hard to bring out
the best in each other, mainly uh, you know, Cheryl
bringing out the best in you. And but at the
end of the day, it's it's not one plus one
equals too. It's the quantum effect that you guys are
having on people's lives that right now people are looking
(50:20):
for these things to escape this freaking pandemic. You know,
not to make it too fine up a point, but
I was reading this thing on Reddit today. I was
dying this morning. Uh there how foreigners see the United
States and this one guys, this one guy says, this
one guy says, have you guys tried turning off your
(50:42):
country and turning it back on again? You know, I
have to say, I have to and I haven't shared
this in public yet, and you know, I didn't realize
how real COVID was until my dad. My dad has
COVID and my dad's a dentist, and always said this
from the moment always. I mean, this just happened in March, right,
(51:03):
but I was just like, if anyone gets it, I
hope it's not my stepdad. And he's a dentist and
he got it from one of his patients. And he's
in his seventies and he doesn't have great lungs, very
healthy guy, like ran marathons, but he's breathing in all
that like from being a dentist. Almost like he hasn't
been diagnosed with emphysima, but he has to get his
heart pumped like every month or two as if he's dying.
(51:25):
Basically his heart stopped just to make sure his heart
beats regularly. So not only has he been diagnosed once
with COVID and then spread it a little bit, but
then I got diagnosed just recently again for the second time.
And so like I it's it's really hard for me
when I don't see people take it seriously because it's
like I get it before he got it, Like I
(51:46):
didn't know one person that had it, not one person,
not one acquaintance, nobody and then now it's like it's
a real thing, and and this is what's so scary,
is it? Until unfortunately people have to learn the hard
way sometimes. Um, But what I don't is because let's say,
you know, I hear you Renee, and you're like, you're
bringing joy into people's homes. But then it's a god
forbid write something were to happen on set. So like, therefore,
(52:10):
I think we all have to just step back to
And I think maybe that has woken me up a
little bit, like we just need to be grateful to
first of all, to have a job, to be able
to do what we love to do. Yeah, I'm not
trying to be a buzz kill, but I just saw
a little mouse run by, and it's behind that box.
(52:31):
I swear to God, it's behind that box. You could
be hallucinating. No, I'm a hunter on my kids lives
behind that. We leave the back door open McDonald's with
a bunch of hormones in it. No, we leave the
back door open so the dogs go in and out,
and we live up against the mountains and once in
a while, these little mice. Yeah, it's about this big,
but I'm freaking out. I'd be freaking out right. I
(52:58):
have to be Tell the story. Tell the story of
what happened when you had the mouse and you got
and you were trying to get it out of the
of your of brits like sauna thing and you had
to go in head first. Oh my god, listen to
this story. This is the this is the best story. No. Um.
My wife has one of those um they look like
(53:20):
long igloes where you lay down on the ground, but
and it's a sauna, like really really hot sauna, but
it's it's like, yeah, kind of like that, and it's
a space saver, so you don't have to do a
whole deal. And so she saw a little mouse run
into right into that igloo and she's like, can you
get it? And I'm like, you want me to climb
(53:42):
into that igloo? And so I had to crawl on
my stomach and I see it and it has nowhere
to run, dude. The thing just started running at me
and I had no way. I had no way to
back out or jump or do anything other than just
(54:02):
I'm like basically glued to the ground and see this
little tiny thing running at me. Tell my husband would
be probably using like would be like making out with
it or something. He loves animals, so I love animals
as much as but loves reptile, love little mice. Yeah,
I just put my feet up right now, mainly though
(54:24):
spiders and yeah, spiders and clowns. I can't for We
were bike crime. I will kill you like I will
literally black out. I will black out like I literally
blacked out. Yeah, we were mountain biking. And then we're
(54:45):
on the trail and this this big tarantula was crawling
across the trail and oh my god, I've never seen
him pedals so fast. You know they're about this. Yeah,
you've never seen my Okay, you think the quick steps fast,
You've never seen my legs move this fast. He was
(55:07):
like Lance arm strung. Oh my god. I yeah, I
my bikes, my my mountain bike became a Kawasaki Ninja instantaneously.
So I I just wanted to say, like again, you guys,
I don't I don't mean to sound like a fan
a fan boy, but I am so glad to be
here with you guys, both of you, Like, I feel
(55:31):
just honored to be here with you guys, And I
know every day I want you to just talk to me.
All day because you're very soothing. I swear I could
just like I'm like, oh, thank you. Well, here's the
cool part, Like, you know, we're sober, right, and we're
not going to act like we're not right. We are
living in crazy times, we're not going to act like
(55:52):
it's not right. And and we get to do something
to you know, daily, to help each other. And like
you said, if it helps one, I'd hope it helped
at least two people, you know what I mean? Come on,
one is one person listening to this right now? Hey, okay, yeah,
(56:12):
we have one fan, and hey, we helped you here
you know what I'm happening. It's my husband, it's my
oldest daughter. We're good, it's your wife. There you go.
But I can feel this is going to be amazing
because this is like literally just smelling. They don't say.
(56:37):
It's not a good thing to say. It's a very
crass saying. It's a very crassing It's like it's it's
like just just barely sniff in the panties, you know,
it's just you're just barely there. So see, this is
why we didn't want to say it, because this is
(56:58):
something The problem is I don't get it, okay. So
it's it's like, well, no, it's like you don't want
to just do that, you want to have sex. And
I feel like whever was wearing panties needs to just
like change that first of all, so or take a
shower maybe, ye star, So I knew, I knew this
(57:23):
was not the right forum for that. But with but
with this one? But with but what with this one?
Believe me? There is she burps so loud, so much.
First of all, that's talking about the burping. I'm just
talking about how like but she burps, and she's always
complaining about her beautiful forehead. My five head told you
(57:49):
I could tell all five fingers stop five head. I
love you. I have to tell you though. I have
to tell you though, yes, stop staring at it. Even
after you said it, it looks perfectly fine and normal.
So hey, j take your hat off, let's talk about yours.
(58:12):
Oh come on, let's go. Here we go. Now that's
a forehead. And by the way, look that's a finger.
All the Backstreet Boys fans out there, you're welcome. I
made him take his nap polish off and shave his head.
You're welcome. You're not gonna like you for that part.
I'm just saying your naip polish was chipped, so I'm
(58:34):
just saying like, no, we will see you guys next
Tuesday night, right after Dancing with the Stars, and we
are Pretty Messed Up. Make sure you guys follow us
on Instagram at Pretty Messed Up Podcast and email us
at p m U at I heart radio dot com.
(58:54):
Follow Pretty Messed Up on her radio, or subscribe wherever
you listen to podcasts. M
Welcome everybody. Um two, my heart, it's brand new podcast,
pretty messed up with myself. A J. McClean, they're beautiful,
gorgeous and talented, Rene Alizondo. And then this other broad
(00:29):
um no, the ridiculous Cheryl Burke. I'm dying laughing the
first time that that a j has ever made me
laugh genuinely actually, So that here's the thing, right, Like
you guys just came off the set, which is insane.
You drive through McDonald's, which is not on my diet,
(00:49):
by the way, but she jumps she jumps in on time,
not like you, Cheryl jumpson not eating, ready to go professional.
But none the less, we're here. I wanted to say,
you know what I wanted to tell you before we
get going on Dancing with the Stars in your performance,
remember that joke I made up a long time ago,
knock knock, who's there? Now it applies to me, what
(01:14):
knock knock? Who's there? Renee? Renee? Who? Exactly? That's how
I feel on the show. He's got great shells Burke.
You've got a J. McClean from the Backstreet Boys, and
then you've got dude, right, you've got dude over here
so listen, I really want to know. I watched you
(01:35):
guys tell me everything, like the setup, Well, where to begin? Well,
would you like me to intervene in your French fries?
Because why you're talking, I'm chewing it's perfect the mic. Well,
so basically we had a very long day, right, long
(01:56):
story short though to cut it naff. It is really strange,
I have to say personally for me to perform with
no audience like none, and like as Renee, you're an
entertainer as well, and you can you imagine doing a
show like this for fifteen years and then all of
a sudden you're like here crickets after you're driving your
ass off. Honest to god, I can I cannot even
(02:18):
imagine you guys having to deep that deep, I mean
dig that deep for your energy deep and listen. I love.
This is why I love ball room dancing because it
is very intimate, right, It's always been in front of
an intimate setting, and it's about, you know, telling a
story between two people that somebody's looking in. We're not
dancing out like we're not like entertainers like Broadway like that,
(02:38):
but that hasn't happened since a while, Like since maybe
ten twelve years ago, and now we're bringing it back
in a way. But even back then we had an audience.
Now I'm making my partner sing to me as if
he's a Backstreet boy, which he still is, but a
soloist as we're driving. No, I mean, look, it's it was.
(02:59):
It was a just smith of sorts. But you know,
Cheryl and I have been talking about this for the
last two weeks. Like you know, whenever she talks about
the word connection, it's like that's between her and I
and nobody else, whether without an audience. And to be honest,
like I have a newfound respect for ballroom dancing period
(03:22):
in general, and to be able to hopefully have as
much energy with just her and I with zero crowd.
That speaks volumes to our chemistry, to our connection, and
that's what's key. That's at least that's that's what I'm
learning so far, is that's what makes ballroom ballroom is
(03:43):
that connection between just two people. You know, it's not
just like connection with the eyes. It's connection like body weight,
like counterbalancing each other. Oh god, that word counterbalance. It's
but that was just one of your challenges, not having
an audience for the first time. You also, you guys
also had to deal with like going first too, well yeah,
(04:08):
on top of each other, but like having to go first.
I know that, I know there's always a little added
challenge being the first one. You have nothing to measure against,
you don't know, like oh, and you don't hear the audience,
which even is even crazier. Right, Normally you get to
go second or third, and you hear the audience response,
(04:29):
you see what they respond to, you get a temperature.
But here, you guys are crickets, and first I think
it influences the judges, those the audience members, Like I
could tell when Bruno was judging, he was looking for validation,
but there was nothing but a wall in front of
his face. You know. He used to like he would
be saying a joke or whatever, and of course naturally
(04:49):
look over to see if anyone was laughing, and it
was just us standing up on the second and third
balcony up there, um, And I felt bad, like I'm
not normally one to like. After I performance, I run
to my trailer and I just decompressed. But I actually
felt like I needed to be there for the other competitors.
And I was just like cheering them on. I just
realized that, like, it's not easy, and I don't care
(05:10):
if people are like pretending to say it is, because
it's not like if you're an actual entertainer, especially for
the professional dancers, this is really difficult. Well, I thought
was funny though really quick, what which which? I? And
this was now it's going to become a Umi and
Cheryl thing because it was only between her and I,
but somebody was on stage performing and she's like basically
(05:34):
people at home were complaining that the that the that
the fake applause was too loud, Like, oh my god,
it was. It was like really loud. Oh I wish
we would have heard it on the floor. I know
it was like very faint, and honestly, I agree with you, Cheryl.
Anybody who says it doesn't make a difference, they're not
(05:58):
being genuine. I remember tour with Janet. There were times
backstage she didn't look like she was going to be
able to do five minutes of a concert. But the
minute the lights go out and the crowd goes crazy,
you get this adrenaline and she would then do the
show and adrenaline is real. It's real. I am a junkie.
(06:21):
It's a real drug. Do not see my My trampoline
jumped in me. That's what I was. That was nothing
like No, that was like rehearsal. I might have been
about four or five ft off the ground, just trying
to really get a good superhero landing. Tonight, I was
(06:45):
more like twelve or thirteen feet off the ground. I know,
I got mad ups like I felt like Jordan for
a minute. It does exaggerate a little. Well either way,
it was higher than I should have no, but you know,
back to the adrenaline that was. That was the first time.
(07:07):
I'll just say this, that was the first time that
I was high and I and I probably didn't enjoy
it like I used to back in the day. So
it was rest when I watched it. When I when
I watched it and I knew you had a trampoline,
you had told me, But when I saw you take off,
I was like, Oh, this is not this is not
(07:30):
this is not gonna end. Well is he Like I
felt like I burned on re entry, Like yeah, he
did this during rehearsal on Sunday, and I was like,
don't let it throw you off like this is not
the jibe. You're not getting judged on a trampoline, John,
believe me. Well yeah, and then like poor Cheryl, like I,
I just want to make it a point to just
(07:52):
hats off to the to all of the pros, because
how much you guys do. It's more than just choreograph
and dance, Like you guys are in evolved with the wardrobe,
with the lighting, with the creator like you guys do everything.
How about psychologists, psychologists and like literally like guru but
like you know, her and I were going back and forth,
(08:15):
and she was going back and forth, and we were
trying to like maybe not have the camera on me
when I landed and have it on her. It's important,
you know, like you want to hide We all we
all have the same goal, right, we just make a
great show. If we're the opening number, then we need
to like come out there and not fall on our butts.
So let's hide it. Let's show me if we do
(08:35):
fall it's not And not not to sing like a fanboy,
but you guys really did well. I mean you went
on first. It's your first one. You get you know,
you get to I don't know, but obviously maybe not you.
But you had a little bit of butterflies going into
that I did. I mean she even said it's I
(08:58):
couldn't see it on you. Well, I have meditating has
helped me night and day, Like this time, this time
last season, I was a freaking nervous wreck. I'm so
glad to hear you say you meditate. Anyone who doesn't meditate,
I feel sorry for Honest to God, a meditation is uh,
(09:19):
changed my life, change my life whole another show, And
I'm sure we could go down that hole for a
long time because we talk about this all the time,
prayer and meditation. But back to like Dancing with the Stars,
were you guys, how aware are you guys with like
Carole Baskin and what she's gonna do, And I mean,
(09:40):
there's got to be some human element, right, you know.
Unfortunately because of COVID, we're not like normally okay, So
we would all be hanging out, we would be like
in each other's trailers, we would be totally you know,
going out every night, like that's what you do when
you have a lovely cast, which I think we do.
There's some seasons where people are not connecting, but then
I feel like this then like people are actually really connecting,
(10:01):
even if we're not connecting physically. But so with Carol Baskin,
I don't know. I seriously don't even think we've officially met,
just me and her. We met via zoom. I gave
her one of my masks, line work masks. I haven't
received the thank you yet, so that's fine. But what
I'm giving her another day or two. Yeah, well, you know,
(10:22):
I'm kidding. Um No, this is a really good cast.
I mean, look again, I have nothing to compare it to.
It's my first time doing the show. But to continue
with what Cheryl saying, everybody is very forthcoming and gay kind.
And you know, when you come into a show like this,
everybody becomes a family kind of overnight. You know, whether
(10:43):
it's the production side, you know, the cast, all the
all the prose. Everybody's fantastic. It was one of the
pros first first first time on the show, Britt it
was her first you guys, breaking news. Pasha, which is
who is Carol Baskin's partner, professional partner, has made it
to Lady Gaga's um Instagram story. He has officially made it.
(11:08):
This guy good for him, at least if he's going
to dance with her. If you can get at Leasta,
you can get on Lady Gaga's Instagram story. You guys, Um,
who is that? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
It's the neighbor and they'll they do it once in
a while, not on purpose, but there it's gone. I
(11:29):
think they just saw Carol basking dance on Dancing with
the Stars. I just feel like that kind of interrupted
the breaking news. Okay, I'll say it again, So breaking news. Pasha,
Carol Baskin's professional partner on Dancing with Stars, has like
officially made it. We have this chain going on with
all the dancers, and I guess he's on Lady Gaga's
(11:50):
story Instagram story right now. Yeah, so Lady Gaga's watching
Dancing with the Stars. You guys love it. My kids,
we would like lose their mind. They I hope she
tuned in from the beginning. So do I let me
come on? You know you actually do? I? Yes? Um, so,
I I don't want to like get too serious here,
(12:15):
but obviously I've known you for a long time a
j and uh to see you stepping up like you
did today sober, not hiding behind alcohol or anything else.
I just have to tell you I was extra proud
(12:35):
for you, of you, and and I just wanted to
say that because you know, well, well, in this show,
we're gonna get into divulging a lot of you know, yeah,
there's crazy stuff. And then then the more you learn
about where he's been, the more you realize, holy crap,
(12:58):
he did that sober. Yeah, you know, I mean there's
a lot, but and you're right, well, we have a
while to build up to. I don't want to scare
people away, but no, it's it's it's absolutely true. Like
you know, I I can confidently say I'm proud of
(13:18):
myself because you know, I know the old way I
was with the level of stress that comes with this show,
because I'm not gonna lie. It's very stressful. It is.
It's it's like flight. It is. And had I been
(13:40):
still actively in my disease, oh, I guarantee you many
a night I would have gotten loaded just to calm
down from. And if you were my partner five years ago,
you'd be screwed. Oh yeah, yeah, we we wouldn't get
much accomplished. So anyways, I just wanted to say that
you guys like I'm so proud of both of you.
(14:03):
I have nothing but the most admiration for dancers, for choreographers.
Sher life told you some of the most creative people
I've ever met started off as dancers, you know, and then,
like I said, a j he this this is not
just performing, you know on the show. It's doing it sober,
(14:29):
and it's doing it on your own, not without. You know,
it's always easier. I know with your boys, it's You're
used to look into right to your left. Here, it's you.
It's you and no audience. Yes, and zero audience, but
lots of adrenaline and lots of adrenaline and over loud
zero audience. But then Lady Gaga's watching what the hell yeah?
(14:51):
And then really loud, fake audience claps that overpower the performances. Yes,
that's funny, you did great. I'm proud of you. By
the way, we can end it right there, thank you.
I'm proud of you, my black cold heart over here,
you know. Yeah, it is very icy working on my delivery.
(15:14):
By the way, do you know how many little fringe
thingies were stuck in the bottom of my sneaker when
I walked out of my trailer from your outfit in
your freaking mouth. It got stuck in my sneaker. I
was walking to my car and I'm like, what am
I stepping on? And they were like all woven into
the bottom of my shoe. So thank you for that.
I love it any time. Okay, everybody, welcome back to
(15:51):
Pretty Messed Up. I am a J. McLean, joined by
the beautiful Cheryl Burke and my my brother from another mother,
Mr Renee Alisando. Um, I'm blown away. First of all,
let's just say, like, how the hell did I end
up doing the podcast that you guys know you guys,
(16:15):
you guys are friends. How the hell did I come?
It's obvious how you're needed, it's obvious who you are. Uh.
And then it's like, dude, like I said, I'm my
brain is like this is awesome. I mean I love it.
Don't get me wrong. I love talking. I love talking
to A J. I want to get to know Cheryl
(16:36):
a lot more. I've got so many questions, uh, with
a kind of everything. There's nothing people. I'm excited because
you're here because I can then now bitch to you
about like rehearsals and like how a J just complained
and has excuses for everything. Yeah, because that's what happens really.
(16:56):
Um no, you know, So a little backstory for all
you guys that are listening right now. UM, as far
as the title of this podcast, pretty messed up. Um,
you know, the at the epicenter, all three of us
have had a little bit of a rough go at life. Uh,
(17:19):
not really living life on life's terms. I think that's
very fair to say. We've all had a pretty bumpy road,
um live to tell about it. And yes, but that's
the upside to the story, is that we're all here
talking to you right now, all you guys out there listening, um,
because we kind of came out the other side, um,
(17:41):
which is a testament to a lot of things, which
well yeah, I mean, look, it's it's a it's a
daily reprieve and it's a and it's it's a daily
uh you know challenge to just like I said, live live,
you know, life on life's terms and really just take
(18:01):
take the good and the bad all of it and
you know, wash your hands clean, let go move on,
don't harbor things. And you know, I think where where
I am today from where I was ship nine months ago. Um,
you know I was, I was out of my ever
(18:23):
live in mind. And if I was where I was
nine months ago today, I guarantee you I wouldn't be
doing Dance from the Stars. They wouldn't have even asked
me to do it again. I would have probably been
a liability. Um. You know, there wouldn't be enough insurance
to cover Yeah, but I mean yeah, I wouldn't want
to put myself out there like that, especially being a father.
(18:46):
I want to set a great representation of of of
a dad to my kids. I want to be a
great husband to my amazing wife as well as you know,
I want to be able to kind of spread joy
and love to the masses. You know, I've done it
through music, thankfully and gratefully I've now I'm doing it
(19:08):
through through dance. Um. And then you know, that's the
upside of this to this show is you know, at
the end of the day, if us telling our personal
stories and us just just being ourselves helps even one
person out there, then we've then we've done what we've
set out to do. You know, it's really crappy times
(19:29):
right now. People are stuck at home, you know, people
have nothing to do, and people are scared and now
you know, you you you get a show like Dancing
with the Stars to come back and come back with
a vengeance, with a great cast and great pros and
just bring that joy back into people's homes. You know.
(19:52):
It's it's the it's the beginning of hopefully a a
ripple effect, because I know for me, I'm not going
back gone tour until April of next year. If that happens,
if that's a huge if you know, Um, I just
feel like with the normalcy though, like people like we've
seen the Voice come back, but they've been doing in
(20:12):
the comfort of their home, own homes and then but
then to see us back in the ballroom, it's still
it's different, but there's something comforting when you're living through
uncertain times to see something that is recognizable, right, um.
And I think as far as we go, and I
can speak for myself, UM, I've also you know, during
this pandemic, before I even knew I was going to
(20:34):
come back to Dancing with the Stars, I think I
feel like I've grown so much and I used I
think this time unintentionally maybe a little intentionally, but to
really work on myself and heal and it wasn't like
an easy process, I would say, um, but I also
wanted to stop being so codependent on my therapist to
(20:55):
where like I needed to talk to her daily. But
I was like, now's now, it's time to put her
work and what I know, which I've always said, like
I'm a great thera, because I was like, I wish
I could take my own advice. But enough with that,
you know, that's an excuse. And it's like I have
to take full responsibility over who I am as a
person and why I make certain decisions and and then
be okay with the fact that I do make certain
(21:18):
decisions and mistakes and failures. But I do believe you
can't succeed until you fail, you know. And there's this
whole thing. But I just even just learning the power
of meditation during this time, as so many people and
I hear, I hear everyone when they say, like this
is miserable, we just want to end, and you know,
and then I have learned during this time that there's
another perspective right to looking at anything. There's two sides
(21:41):
to every story, as you may have heard, but there's also, um,
a different way of using this time to your benefit.
Really and I feel like and I'm not the girl.
And I know a lot of people can totally hear
me when I say I you wouldn't describe me as
like missus positivity over here, right, That's like no, but yeah,
(22:04):
but I'm real and ship this is it. This is it,
Like I'm not going to pretend to be positive, but
I don't feel like it's see to me. I'll take
real over fake smiles any day. I sort of got
to me authenticity was what I battled with most of
(22:25):
my life. I was always trying to be what someone
wanted me to be, playing the chameleon, you know, but
I never felt that I belonged, you know. And so
for me, the upside of crashing and burning with drugs
and alcohol and then piecing it back together one piece
at a time, you get to find out who you
(22:46):
really are, right And once I was able to uh
find that that underneath all the layers I've heard you
a j talk about peeling the onion underneath it, I
found out like I'm no better, no worse than anybody else,
and all the pressure was off at that point. Doesn't
(23:06):
mean we don't strive to become better dancers to become
better songwriter, singers all that you still strive, but you
don't feel like God, if people really knew who I was,
they wouldn't want to be my friend or or it's
the it's comparing. The comparison is really oh my god,
especially for most of my life. But that that you
(23:29):
might as well like. And then just understanding, understanding that
we're all gonna die, like honestly just had thought of
that makes you really want to live your life right like,
and it makes you want to stop stressing about the
ship that you can't control. None of us are getting
out of here live. Then no one's getting out of
here live. And like you always tell me, like you know,
I made a mistake, I'm not a mistake right there.
(23:52):
That is That's how I live my life daily now
because I have to. I have to because you know, before,
if if you didn't like me, oh man, would I
go out of my way to to make you like me?
And then if they don't like you, then you have
to do everything to undermine them and make them the
(24:13):
villains exactly and find a reason to hate them. And
that's just yeah, it's a perfect way to waste your life.
And I definitely wasted many many years. But that's the
thing I always learned a little bit each time that
I would go back out and relapse always. But you know,
(24:36):
this time to kind of go back to what you
were talking about when you when you were first talking
about where you know, looking at the silver lining of
this of this pandemic right now is for me like
the same for you being kind of stuck at home.
Instead of just like losing all hope, you you can
(24:58):
then turn inward and for fcus on yourself. I've been
able to put together nine months sober. Why because I'm home,
I'm not on tour. I'm not I'm not putting myself
in in a compromising situation where I'm I don't have
a good sober foundation. And I'm doing a zoom meeting
every single day since March with all my sober buddies
(25:22):
every day. Like you know, they always joke about going
ninety and ninety week surpassed that ship. We're like a
hundred and fifty. But and I have to tell you guys,
I feel so fortunate that my pandemic sort of speak
happened many years ago when I crashed and burned my
(25:43):
own personal tragedy, you know, and I had to learn
to work through a lot of insecurities, work through a
lot of like critical self talk, you know. There I
look back and I think, man, that was some of
the toughest times of my life getting sober early sobriety,
(26:03):
because you feel like a raw nerve. And then I
got into the program and then happened right, and I
saw the rest of the world running around trying to
figure out how they're going to get through life. And
then I was like, wow, I'm already wearing like a
life vest. And when everyone else was running around trying
(26:25):
to figure out, they were asking me, well, what are
you doing to stay to stay calm, And it's like,
I'm doing what I did to not go back and
drink again, you know. And so for us, it is,
you know, um sense of community with like minded individuals,
you know, pushing towards you know, having the same goals
(26:47):
of staying staying sober. Prayer and meditation are huge, helping
another person of service, helping somebody helping. I mean, that
is really what I've been learning. Like It's it's like
you are who you hang out with, careful who you
hang out with. And then it's like being of service.
You can't love your love anybody else, so you love yourself.
(27:08):
And the people that that we talked to on a
daily basis, um, they will they will tell us how
they feel, you know. I mean this isn't about like
bar room talk. This is like, you know, someone will
tell you I'm struggling today, I'm having a really hard
time and this and that, and we we just feel
(27:28):
so privileged to be like thought of in such a
way where they trust us enough to sort of open
their chemo no and say I'm struggling today. And those
are the people that stay sober. The ones that walk
around acting like everything's okay all the time end up
relapsing because that's not it's back to back to your
(27:51):
point authenticity. You know, what we see is what we
get with Cheryl. And I'm not afraid of Cheryl, But
there are some people I'm afraid of when you when
they're constantly like everything's okay, everything's okay, and you're masking,
it's it's just numbing. It's masking or not accepting responsibility.
Like again, I'm also working on this is like everything
(28:11):
is you have to it's coming from you. Everything even
if I if I get upset that my husband leaves
the fridge open, which he does and a little too long,
but that's fine. And I also have sixteen cameras in
this house, so I just see everything. But he doesn't
need to know that I get piste off, that's no.
But like that's a trigger for me because of something
(28:34):
of me, like I have to you have to stop blaming,
blaming everything you feel is you. That's exactly right. It
all comes back to us and how we're reacting to something.
Like you used to always tell me, you got to
keep your side of the street clean. That's all you
have to worry about. You. If you then try to
(28:56):
consume yourself with another person, you are giving giving, giving
all your time, all your effort, all your energy. The
one person who's going to be hurting from that is you,
and you're giving that person power. It was that was me,
like I was kept in codependency, Like if you didn't
like me, I'm gonna go do whatever I can to
(29:17):
make you like me. I'm gonna do this, this, this,
and and then and then you know what, Like what
what was really a shock to me is when I
got sober the first time in two thousand one. Um,
how many people were no longer calling me or around
me when I checked out a treatment. And obviously because
those were all the leeches, those are all the hanger honors,
(29:39):
those are all the fake people that were only with
me because I could get into that club for free,
I can get bottle service for free, I can get
Let me tell you something though, Ever since I stopped drinking,
now it's been over two years, I know who my
friends are and who my friends. Thank you, thank you.
That just that one action, just that one. By the way,
I never announced to anyone. It was a promise. I
didn't even make a most of myself. My father passed
(30:01):
away a couple of years ago. My father was an alcoholic,
and I thought for sure I was either going to
go one way and check myself into rehab or go
to the go to the other way, right, And I
just it was literally our engagement party, my husband's and
I engagement party about two years ago. That night, I
just was like, I think I'm done, but I just
made it in an internal thing, it was like, and
(30:21):
then I just stopped because it was a problem. And
what a gift, right, the gift of knowing who your
friends are is like one of the createst gifts in
the world. No, because the truth is most most of
them were you. The bond was the drink or the drug,
you know, And it's just like talking talking crazy. Yeah,
(30:41):
I can. I can, literally, I think count on both
my hands, my like true true through thick and through
thin blood sweat into your friends. And then I've I've
I've recently acquired new friends that I would put if
I could count more than ten on my fingers, I would, um,
(31:03):
you know, in one in one sitting. But I have one.
I have one. Wow, Sometimes one is all you need,
you know, exactly. Honestly, I don't think I have the time.
And then my my husband obviously, you know, and then
and then you have me now so and most of
the day for you know, I have to tell you
(31:28):
guys that again, going back to the world we're living
in right now, like more than ever, I am so
grateful that I have a sort of routine that I
do daily to keep my head above water because I honestly,
with everything that's going on today with orange skies and
(31:49):
the sun, you know, right, and then news left and right,
because it's just crazy times, right and and I have
a daughter that's eight years old, and you know, I
make sure that I'm not looking like a crazy man
and passing that along. Dude, the photo that you posted
(32:10):
trip me out, so like his daughter, his daughter is
like her school is actually like letting kids come back
to school, but the very different, very different steps. Their
desk has a freaking plastic shield, no plexi all the
way around the way around, and they have to wear
a mask, and they have to wear a school uniform
(32:33):
and and and it's all socially distanced. And so I
took a shot of it and I sent it to
a j and I'm like, I feel like I'm in
some weird Japanese animized film right now. It's so surreal
to look at. I'm really curious, what is it? Really quick,
I guess what is your daily routine? So the second
(32:56):
I wake up, the very second I wake up, before
I check my phone, before I check my emails, before
I look at television, before I do anything, before I
talk to anyone, I start to pray, and I start
like right off the bat, for me, it's checking in
with my higher power and saying I need you to
(33:18):
keep me sober today. And that is like an admittle
that I don't have the power to stay sober. And
it's a good reminder. And then you know, I pray
for my family, I pray for my friends, and I
pray for the less fortunate, um and and it you know,
it takes a while. Then I meditate after that, so
by the time by the time I start with um
(33:42):
and and I'll change my prayers depending on what's happened,
like recently. I don't want to this to go too long,
but they say the most painful physical thing you could
go through is severe burns to your body because the
recovery of it, they have to scrape your dead skin off.
They'd say, it's like incredibly well, I've talked to women
(34:06):
who have had children and had burns, and they said
the burns are not nothing you ever, you wouldn't wish
on your worst enemy. Now they say the other emotionally,
the worst thing you could go through is the loss
of a child. Right and recently up north in Oregon. Uh,
the woman is in a burned unit right now, but
(34:28):
her child burned to death with his dog on the
lap on his lap in the car. And so I
when I prayed for her, this morning and yesterday the
day before. What it does is it instantly gives me perspective, like, Okay,
what do I want to complain about today? Right? Yeah?
(34:51):
You know what I mean. It's like, oh, I'm bothered
that the gardener woke me up early, and if I
told her that, she'd be like, really is that? I am?
I complain a lot, like I don't know why I do.
I think it's just like it's almost like a second language.
A j today was like, is there something that you do?
Like you know, like and I was like, oh, shoot,
(35:11):
he just put me on my place because I was like,
wait a second, sure, I'll stop acting like I feel
like it's like me complimenting, but it's really me complaining
and bitching about people. And for some reason it's but
this one's been tough for me to shake. All in
all in all in good time, my dear, All in
good time. You know, if it's even meant to happen,
it may not be what's on your what's on your
(35:31):
path that that might it is it is that's definitely
down the list. But I feel like right now and
I'm into the taking responsibility and I have to believe it,
you know, and that's that's that's a huge thing, Like
being able to hold yourself accountable, Like that was a big,
big issue for me, was like especially when it came
to my drinking in my party days, Like for whatever reason,
(35:53):
the one person I feel I know now, but the
one person I couldn't be honest with was my wife.
Like I could be honest with Renee, I could be
honest with you know, my best friend Chris. I could
be honest with so many other people, but not my wife.
He knew that, he knew that I wasn't going to
hold out sexually that yeah he you know, he yeah,
(36:15):
he would still give me a smooth here and there.
But no but with but with my wife, like I
was so I was so terrified of letting her down.
And that was my biggest thing, is like, you know,
I don't want her to to be disappointed in me,
you know, like because she is literally put it all
on the line for me, and the fact that she
(36:37):
stayed with me for almost eleven well almost ten years
of marriage, but we've been together for eleven years. She's
a I mean, she's like a superhero, Like to put
up with the ship that I've put her through. She's
a damn superhero. Both. Do you think that would I
guess she would have chose for you to tell her obviously, right, No,
that was the thing. It's like, look, obviously now now
(37:01):
that things have shifted in such a drastic turn for
me in my world of being sober, she's just like, like,
I've even I've even heard her talk to you on
the phone, and she's like, I don't know who this
guy is now, like this is this is I've been
waiting for ten years. So I joked, and I like,
I I try to think, how did I put it? Oh?
(37:24):
I said, yeah, so that was the temporary Alex model
that we had on the showroom floor. This is the
one you really ordered. Now we're gonna send that one
to the to like the you know, garbage pile, because
that one was just a rental. Sorry that we put
you through that for ten years. But this is the
version of the of your husband that you did purchase.
(37:46):
I have a question. So, in the eleven years you've
been married to your wife, how many times have you relapsed? Oh?
Countless times. I can't even remember, because I think the
longest stretch of sobriety that I put together since we've
been together maybe four months, and then I would go
back out. That's too because you lived with me when
you put together a good amount of time. Well that
(38:08):
was my wife. I mean like, yeah, I I was
engaged once before and that that fell apart. I was
gonna say, and I lived with him for nine months.
It was supposed to be two weeks and it was
nine months. And I will say, and you and you
can't deny it. It It was like we were both single then,
and it was like the best nine months of my life.
(38:33):
We had a blast playing video games just like it
was awesome. It was awesome, but no, it was a
good like it was literally so okay, long story short.
He was a member at a country club called Sherwood
(38:54):
and you're only supposed to bring a guest twelve times
a year, which once a month. So I live with
him for nine months. In that nine months, we probably
went times like like literally that's all we did. We
would get we'd go to a meeting, to a meeting,
and then go straight to the golf and we wouldn't
(39:15):
even talk in the morning, him and I we would
just walk out of the rooms dressed in golf gear
and and just new We're going to go to a
meeting and then we're gonna go That was our routine
for every single day except Mondays. Perfect communication. Oh yeah, yeah.
And I was going to say, you know, we its
(39:35):
getting back to the the crazy stuff from the past,
and you know, we'd like to say, like are we
on the spiritual path or the psychopath today? Right? Because
every moment, you know, gives you an opportunity to kind
of go into self and then it could be the
comparing you're talking about. You know, this show, though, I'm
(39:56):
telling you, this Dancing on the Stars thing is a test,
you know, not in a bad way, in a great way. Yeah.
And as a test for me after doing it for
so many years, the main reason why I would be
nervous to go back was more for my mental health
and it was for my physical health. Yeah, And I
think that's that's what our show is really going to
(40:17):
be about, and is you know, it's like it's just
a continuum of what you and I do every day,
and Cheryl does in her own way every day to
not let the crazies creep in. You don't want to.
It's your thoughts. Once you start to believe those thoughts
you're screwed because then you start spinning in it, and
then and then it becomes that like you used to
(40:38):
call me a tornado years ago because I was like
I anywhere I went, I would leave disaster behind me constantly.
I can't tell you now, please please, I just believe
that we're not our thoughts. Yeah, absolutely, it's good when
you couldn't believe that, right when you could believe it,
Because when when I could get right? Yeah, And I'm
(41:03):
human just like everyone else, and I can have my
good days, bad days, good moments, bad moments where I
could be triggered. The word you use something can trigger you, right.
Some of it goes way back to our childhood and
with us, thank god, through you know, kind of doing
this emotional excavation that we've had to do, we get
(41:25):
to connect these thoughts and realize, you know, not now,
but I will share with you guys some of the
stuff that used to trigger me, and thank god today
it doesn't at all, you know, And like when I'm
longer off the team, that definitely how did you How
did you get there? And how did you get you know?
We what we do is we end up doing something
(41:49):
called the personal inventory fearless and thorough personal inventory and
we write down all our deepest, darkest secret stuff. That yeah,
and then it sucks. And I gotta tell you, for
there isn't a single person that I've ever known that
(42:10):
doesn't think it's a daunting task, that it's that it's
an endless task. But you know what, Maya Angelo not
to drop a name, but she wants Oh, I got
to spend the weekend at her house, and I mean amazing,
and and I said to her, I said, uh, dr Angelo,
do you ever get writer's block? And she said, Honey,
(42:32):
it's like knitting a blanket. You can't knit it all
at once. You just start in one little corner. And
I was like, God, you're amazing. That's what I say
to you about the show is literally one step at
a freak. That's one step, but one step, that's it.
That's it. We but we want to have it all
done instantly, and then we get overwhelmed. Right. I told
(42:53):
you tonight, it's progress, not perfection. That's it. That's one
step at a time. Okay, So listen you. I'm looking
forward definitely to getting to know a lot more of
Cheryl's like history. I can't wait, I can't wait to
divulge some my heads, like I don't want to spoil it.
(43:14):
But when you get a call from a friend from
Vegas and says his Jeane jacket caught on fire and
he has no idea how you know he's going to
I think me and you are so lucky we didn't
party together back in our days, like he's here. Here's
what sucks? Would we even remember if we did? Maybe?
(43:35):
Maybe that's what's that's what's horrible is like? But I
think I do. Yeah, Hey, everybody, welcome back to pretty
(44:02):
messed Up. I am a J. McLean, joined by the
beautiful Sheryl Berg and my brother from another mother, my
Mexican brother, Mr Rene Alizon. No. Sound nice to be here,
huh so nice to me, man, it's nice to be
(44:23):
sitting like, thank god your house was closer than mine
and I could get here at a reasonable You know,
it's funny, you guys. For two days, I've had everything
set up and just sitting here looking at myself and
sort of God, and then you guys are off doing
everything like you guys are doing. Matt he was awesome,
(44:46):
by the way, he was awesome. But while you guys
are doing promos and and this and then photo shoots
and everything. I've literally been sitting here for two days
waiting just thinking to do a yeah, so you know,
like even doing this for a while and myself deformed. So, yeah,
(45:07):
you're doing fantastic, So I know that. Okay, so we
got week one with Dancing with the Stars under our belt.
It's done, it's over with. I can I can sleep
again at least tonight. No, at least tonight tomorrow night.
I probably won't again, but it's fine. So I know
that we're doing the Fox Trot. The Fox Trot is next. Um,
(45:30):
you know, we've we've started a little bit with learning
just the foundation the footwork, but which I feel like
I'm picking up pretty pretty good quicker than I did
the jive. Where it's gonna hold place, whole place, whole place.
Let's just rewind this. Well, where it's gonna be tricky
(45:52):
is the upper body. But so so the comparison is
no buena because every dance is going to have its
own challenges and even though technically the jive is going
to have more steps, foxtrot doesn't. But it's always harder
to move slower than faster, agreed, But the challenge is
(46:16):
not the steps, it's not the quantity, it's the quality. Right,
So it's like it's so much harder when and mind you,
why do you think we sped up our drive because
you don't see the mistakes as much. You can't be
sitting in the mistake longer. So like when you slow
when he when the music slow down, you see every
detail or you have to then really like stretch to
(46:42):
the point of no return. Like there's a great way
of terrifying people, doesn't she She's a great way of
setting me up. That's not the goal, not to butter
it up either. This is a crazy show. But what
there's the end of days, Well, you're not used to
and by the way, still not for a second week,
because you knew that you were gonna have the fox shot.
(47:02):
We started ahead of time, but starting next week, the
third week, you're gonna not know what dance you're doing
until the day after until we know we were saved
back into the studio. So the turnaround on Dancing to
the Stars is basically you've got two to three days
before we have to shoot a wide And that word
why is traumatizing because that means we have to dance
full out no matter what. So we have to dance
(47:24):
to music so the director can choreograph the cameras, right,
so they and they wanted extra early this season. So, um,
you're screwed. I'm kidding. Now, you're gonna You'll be fine.
One step, one step at a time, honestly, you know,
one dance at a time, one step at a time.
But it's also you got to clear that slate. That
slate is clean every every week. It doesn't matter who
(47:45):
got what score, you got this score, it doesn't matter.
You're starting over. No, And and you know, also me
like like going into this, I told myself it don't
worry about what what what everyone else is. Just focus
on you and your partner. And that's it. Like because
at the end, at the end of the day, it's
(48:08):
about America voting. It's about the fans voting. That's where
that part comes. A judges as well, of course, but
like it doesn't matter what the other it doesn't. But
also it doesn't matter if you win or not. Like
I said, already, I said it. I said it tonight
(48:29):
on the show. I said, I feel like I'm already
a winner. It's not a cash prize, No, I have
to can I just tell you, guys, is again not
to get back to the times we're living in, but
more so now than ever. Right what you guys are
doing is elevating people's moods. Do you know what I mean? Yes?
(48:54):
And to me, it's bigger, bigger than all of us.
It's big, and you know, for me, it's like it's
been going on for many years, dancing with the stars,
but this is the only Dancing with the Stars that's
ever happened during the pandemic. It's the first show that's
been back that we're going on set during a pandemic
(49:15):
and they're testing it out. But also, like Jenie, me
was very nervous today and she came into my trailer
social distancing of course, but I told her, I'm like, so,
what are you nervous about? So all I kept hearing
was her saying, my steps, my steps. But I said,
but what if you took yourself out of this, and
if I told you it's not about you, it's not
about anybody else, but it's about none of things, nothing
that we can control other than just bringing joy to
(49:37):
people's homes. What if what if I were to tell
you that someone wanted to possibly think of killing themselves,
but instead they're watching you so also your ass off
and because of you and your song and your spirit,
they've maybe are just enjoying this moment for once. I
love it probably a while, you know. And then mentality.
And that's my point that it's like, yes, you guys
(49:58):
are going to have to work hard to bring out
the best in each other, mainly uh, you know, Cheryl
bringing out the best in you. And but at the
end of the day, it's it's not one plus one
equals too. It's the quantum effect that you guys are
having on people's lives that right now people are looking
(50:20):
for these things to escape this freaking pandemic. You know,
not to make it too fine up a point, but
I was reading this thing on Reddit today. I was
dying this morning. Uh there how foreigners see the United
States and this one guys, this one guy says, this
one guy says, have you guys tried turning off your
(50:42):
country and turning it back on again? You know, I
have to say, I have to and I haven't shared
this in public yet, and you know, I didn't realize
how real COVID was until my dad. My dad has
COVID and my dad's a dentist, and always said this
from the moment always. I mean, this just happened in March, right,
(51:03):
but I was just like, if anyone gets it, I
hope it's not my stepdad. And he's a dentist and
he got it from one of his patients. And he's
in his seventies and he doesn't have great lungs, very
healthy guy, like ran marathons, but he's breathing in all
that like from being a dentist. Almost like he hasn't
been diagnosed with emphysima, but he has to get his
heart pumped like every month or two as if he's dying.
(51:25):
Basically his heart stopped just to make sure his heart
beats regularly. So not only has he been diagnosed once
with COVID and then spread it a little bit, but
then I got diagnosed just recently again for the second time.
And so like I it's it's really hard for me
when I don't see people take it seriously because it's
like I get it before he got it, Like I
(51:46):
didn't know one person that had it, not one person,
not one acquaintance, nobody and then now it's like it's
a real thing, and and this is what's so scary,
is it? Until unfortunately people have to learn the hard
way sometimes. Um, But what I don't is because let's say,
you know, I hear you Renee, and you're like, you're
bringing joy into people's homes. But then it's a god
forbid write something were to happen on set. So like, therefore,
(52:10):
I think we all have to just step back to
And I think maybe that has woken me up a
little bit, like we just need to be grateful to
first of all, to have a job, to be able
to do what we love to do. Yeah, I'm not
trying to be a buzz kill, but I just saw
a little mouse run by, and it's behind that box.
(52:31):
I swear to God, it's behind that box. You could
be hallucinating. No, I'm a hunter on my kids lives
behind that. We leave the back door open McDonald's with
a bunch of hormones in it. No, we leave the
back door open so the dogs go in and out,
and we live up against the mountains and once in
a while, these little mice. Yeah, it's about this big,
but I'm freaking out. I'd be freaking out right. I
(52:58):
have to be Tell the story. Tell the story of
what happened when you had the mouse and you got
and you were trying to get it out of the
of your of brits like sauna thing and you had
to go in head first. Oh my god, listen to
this story. This is the this is the best story. No. Um.
My wife has one of those um they look like
(53:20):
long igloes where you lay down on the ground, but
and it's a sauna, like really really hot sauna, but
it's it's like, yeah, kind of like that, and it's
a space saver, so you don't have to do a
whole deal. And so she saw a little mouse run
into right into that igloo and she's like, can you
get it? And I'm like, you want me to climb
(53:42):
into that igloo? And so I had to crawl on
my stomach and I see it and it has nowhere
to run, dude. The thing just started running at me
and I had no way. I had no way to
back out or jump or do anything other than just
(54:02):
I'm like basically glued to the ground and see this
little tiny thing running at me. Tell my husband would
be probably using like would be like making out with
it or something. He loves animals, so I love animals
as much as but loves reptile, love little mice. Yeah,
I just put my feet up right now, mainly though
(54:24):
spiders and yeah, spiders and clowns. I can't for We
were bike crime. I will kill you like I will
literally black out. I will black out like I literally
blacked out. Yeah, we were mountain biking. And then we're
(54:45):
on the trail and this this big tarantula was crawling
across the trail and oh my god, I've never seen
him pedals so fast. You know they're about this. Yeah,
you've never seen my Okay, you think the quick steps fast,
You've never seen my legs move this fast. He was
(55:07):
like Lance arm strung. Oh my god. I yeah, I
my bikes, my my mountain bike became a Kawasaki Ninja instantaneously.
So I I just wanted to say, like again, you guys,
I don't I don't mean to sound like a fan
a fan boy, but I am so glad to be
here with you guys, both of you, Like, I feel
(55:31):
just honored to be here with you guys, And I
know every day I want you to just talk to me.
All day because you're very soothing. I swear I could
just like I'm like, oh, thank you. Well, here's the
cool part, Like, you know, we're sober, right, and we're
not going to act like we're not right. We are
living in crazy times, we're not going to act like
(55:52):
it's not right. And and we get to do something
to you know, daily, to help each other. And like
you said, if it helps one, I'd hope it helped
at least two people, you know what I mean? Come on,
one is one person listening to this right now? Hey, okay, yeah,
(56:12):
we have one fan, and hey, we helped you here
you know what I'm happening. It's my husband, it's my
oldest daughter. We're good, it's your wife. There you go.
But I can feel this is going to be amazing
because this is like literally just smelling. They don't say.
(56:37):
It's not a good thing to say. It's a very
crass saying. It's a very crassing It's like it's it's
like just just barely sniff in the panties, you know,
it's just you're just barely there. So see, this is
why we didn't want to say it, because this is
(56:58):
something The problem is I don't get it, okay. So
it's it's like, well, no, it's like you don't want
to just do that, you want to have sex. And
I feel like whever was wearing panties needs to just
like change that first of all, so or take a
shower maybe, ye star, So I knew, I knew this
(57:23):
was not the right forum for that. But with but
with this one? But with but what with this one?
Believe me? There is she burps so loud, so much.
First of all, that's talking about the burping. I'm just
talking about how like but she burps, and she's always
complaining about her beautiful forehead. My five head told you
(57:49):
I could tell all five fingers stop five head. I
love you. I have to tell you though. I have
to tell you though, yes, stop staring at it. Even
after you said it, it looks perfectly fine and normal.
So hey, j take your hat off, let's talk about yours.
(58:12):
Oh come on, let's go. Here we go. Now that's
a forehead. And by the way, look that's a finger.
All the Backstreet Boys fans out there, you're welcome. I
made him take his nap polish off and shave his head.
You're welcome. You're not gonna like you for that part.
I'm just saying your naip polish was chipped, so I'm
(58:34):
just saying like, no, we will see you guys next
Tuesday night, right after Dancing with the Stars, and we
are Pretty Messed Up. Make sure you guys follow us
on Instagram at Pretty Messed Up Podcast and email us
at p m U at I heart radio dot com.
(58:54):
Follow Pretty Messed Up on her radio, or subscribe wherever
you listen to podcasts. M
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com