August 26, 2025 • 53 mins
Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and cult experiences. Listener discretion is advised.
In Part 2 of I Was Born Into a Sex Cult, Eboné sits down with her guest as she delves even deeper into her story. From surviving a childhood pregnancy while family members accused her of lying, to being sent to a mental institution, she also recounts the shocking journey that led to finding her child after all these years. What she uncovers about her daughter’s family is nothing short of jaw-dropping—secrets no one could have prepared her for.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebina, a space where no
question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views
shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.
From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times
don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a vice.
Welcome back to Pretty Private Inhagara. Ebine here, and I
hope all is cute. Now today, we're just gonna jump
(00:39):
right into Part two. Okay, my guest is taking us
even deeper into her story, being born into a sex cult,
going through a whole pregnancy while family member says she
was making it up, and she even shared details on
being sent to a mental institution. And then get this,
(01:00):
she finally finds her daughter and what she discovers, y'all,
is things no one could have prepared her for. You know,
I talked to a lot of people on this show,
and I gotta tell you, this is by far the
most shocking story I ever heard. So get comfortable, stay tuned,
(01:23):
and let's get ready because I was born into a
sex cult. Part two starts now back in the day
when I was growing up, Like we used to be
able to spend a night at the teacher's house. Like
you can't do that now, Like it ain't no sleepover
like you used.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
To be able to, like go to your coach house
and stay over the girl. You can't do that no more.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You can't do that, Like you gotta have a whole
background check on the entire family. Like, yeah, moms are
so different.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I'd rather them come up in my house and I'll
be the soccer mom. I'll be hang out spot, just
so I know what y'all first, because.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I know me girl, okay, right, And then there was
even another situation where your aunt was also sexually abusing you.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Absolutely, Yeah, So my mom asked her to watch us
while she went to work, and she would say, let's
play a game. Let's play a game, wait till my
mom leaves. And my sister would cry because she would
tell my sister, you know, you can't play the game,
And so she would sit in front of the door
and cry. And the first time she did that, I'm like, okay,
(02:33):
t TV show, Like I'm excited, you know, until I
she started to molest me, which is pushed my face
in her vagina, and at first I'm just like, you know,
what is this. I'm like wiping my face. I'm not
understanding what's right. And then she continued to do it,
and then I will cry and move and I would
(02:55):
tell her I don't want to play the game to
TV show, I don't want to play the game like
and I do if I can recall, right, I do
think that my mom ended up finding out about that.
I don't know if you know what I now that
I'm thinking about it. As you know, they were always
(03:21):
arguing over my grandfather, my mom. He kicked us out.
He was dating my grand I mean, my my right,
So when she would watch us, my mom started to have,
you know, have relationships with my grandfather again after he
raped my sister and she left her mhm vast new
(03:48):
juice on my face and let it dry. When my
mom picked me up, she said, I told you to stop,
my man.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
And all of this sounds like something off a movie,
something crazy, I know, but it's reality.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And I think that when you shared the story about
what happened to your older sister, and like you know,
you was very detailed and you was talking about how
your grandma was just crying stuff, and you were trying
to figure out how to open a door. I wanted
thought by then that your mom like something with a click.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
You know, there was times like okay, I will say
when we were at home, there would have been times
so my mom would say, you know, because my heart
and my dad came from two different worlds that she
described it to me. You know, my dad's mom had
five kids by the time she was twenty five, you know,
and my mom come from a two parent household. She
(04:45):
grew up in Whitehall, Michigan, which is a town that
is like very everybody got a tractor, it's fine, yeah,
on the outskirts. On the outskirts went to a predominantly
white school. You know, my dad has a whole different story.
(05:06):
So I think they exchanged I guess wisdom in what
it was at that age for them. You know, he
gave her some street and she gave him some upright,
if that makes sense. And I think that they loved
each other because they were so different. That's how she
described it to me. And I think he gave her strength.
(05:26):
I think he helped her realize who she was because
she and she told me he thought she was so beautiful.
He thought she was gorgeous, and so when she shared
things with him, he told her that he was going
to protect her and be there for her. And when
he died, and then she because when she got pregnant
and it was a girl, and she said, I wasn't
going to keep her. I told her dad, I was
(05:47):
not going to keep her because I was nervous. I
didn't want things to happen to her. And he said, hey,
my baby, you know, ain't nothing gonna happen to my baby.
We're only eighteen months apart. So she get pregnant, right,
you know, back to back, and then eight months after
she has me, he dies. So it's not like my
dad and my grandfather was you know, kubai eyeing in
(06:09):
the kitchen. No, they didn't get along. They weren't. They
didn't really talk at all because my dad seeing him
for who he was.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Do you think that the reason why your mom allowed
this to happen is because you are a physical manifestation
of the life she thought she would have had with
your father.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I think there was some jealousy there. I think there.
I think that my mom was trained to depend on someone.
I think she learned how to be independent on her own.
But that is how that is why my grandmother is
(06:49):
still with my grandfather for security. Right. So I think
maybe that's why she stayed because, you know, stayed in
the situation because she was young with two kids, you know,
and she never really had to he was teaching her
some hustle. She didn't have that because she grew up
in a farmy town and went to it. She had
two parents in her home. Now I'm not saying that
(07:10):
makes it perfect. I'm not saying that she didn't have
things happened to her. But what I am saying when
you grow up in that way and you don't grow
up around your people, it takes the culture out of
you and you don't always handle things that maybe the
way you should. That make yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Now, what do you remember about the day when you
found out you were pregnant.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I remember going downstairs and my mom okay, so to
give to help you understand a few things on how
I even got pregnant and all that. My period started
in fifth grade and health class at oak View Elementary
in Miss Darcy's class. I'll never forget it. All the
(07:53):
boys went to mister Alcorn's class. All the girls went
to her now, ask she's telling us about this, Thank
you God, because that's how I learned. My sister started
hers and my mom talked on to her clothes. They
made it seem like a bad thing. They laughed at her,
They just you know, they just made it seem like
a bad thing. The reason why is because when the
(08:13):
girl starts her period, you have to stop touching her, right.
But I hid mine, right, So that's how the pregnancy came.
Because I'm like, I'm not gonna tell anybody. I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna tell my mom or anybody because
I don't want them to talk about me. I don't
want you know. So I you know, if you live
(08:34):
in a house with women, you can start to you
recognize what they do when they're on their cycle. So
I started doing those things. And I remember I left
something in the bathroom and she's like, who's this this?
And I blamed it on my sister. But I'm not
sure if she knew it was me or not. But
(08:55):
so I don't think she did, because she would have
said something. She would have she knew what they were
doing when they was coming in my room, So I
think she suspected it. So anyway, one day I come
down the stairs, She's like, come here, and she's like,
come closer because I have been sleeping a lot. You know,
things start had to start changing with me. And so
(09:17):
she she said, I think you're pregnant. Are you pregnant?
If she kind of asked herself while asking me, like
are you pregnant? And I'm like, pregnant? Why would I
be pregnant?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Did you even understand?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
No? I was, I didn't understand why she was. Okay,
I started to get weary of my mind because of
that moment, but I was, I didn't understand why she
was asking me that, because I did. I never thought
that my mom would allow someone to do that.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But did you understand at that time, like, because I
know you were young, like that having sex can lead
to pregnancy? Like nobody ever explained.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
It to absolutely? Absolutely? Absolutely, And I'm I'm still very
reserved sometimes and shy, but at that time, there's no way.
I'm I'm still watching. That's so rating. You know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I'm that's what I'm saying. You're a kid.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not even into any of that.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know why I never thought you never thought that
you would be pregnant.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
No, girl, I'm shy again. You know how he was
passing notes between classes like.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Like that's all like the psyche of a twelve year old,
Like you're sticking that, you're.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Just tired, exactly. And then we didn't even have like
Facebook or none of that back then. It was just
a social interaction at school. So I take the pregnancy test,
and now they're in a frenzy because they're like, oh
my goodness.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Why.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
She's like, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you
tell me? And I'm like, because of what you did
to my sister, Like you know, I said it because
you dog like you made it seem like such a
bad team. So I'm probably at the most maybe I
(11:02):
don't know ninety pounds back then, right, Not sure what
what time, what how many months I was when when
she found out? I don't recall it. But at this
point she's trying to figure out what to do because
you can't take a twelve year old to an abortion
clinic to get the baby out, because you're gonna go
(11:22):
to jail exact dam because you're pregnant exactly, damn Sure,
can't take it to the hospital. So what are you
gonna do? There's nothing to do but to have the baby.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Wow? And were you still going to school? Like did
nobody notice that you were showing?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
No? So it was every morning I would get up,
she would wrap this thick urban. It would be like
Sam wrap and then on top of that like a
thick turban kind of like what they wear on their heads.
But she would wrap it. And I was already little.
And in two thousand and five, nobody looking for a
no twelve year ord be pregnant, like that's not even
a thing, you know. So and I just I remember
(12:06):
just kept asking, like how do how am I pregnant?
I've never had sex before? How am I pregnant? You know?
And she's like, you know, you can't say nothing, you
can't say nothing. I'm gonna go to jail. Da da dah.
She just made it such a big deal because at first,
like we can't send her to school, like we can't
stand her to school.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But then you miss school, that'll be a whole nother
se question.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Godly, So she delivered a baby at the house, and
then that leads us to obg y n so when
to her got a full exam done.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She said, there's no way that you were not pregnant.
And she was like, everything that you described that you
know has happened to you. I can see the damage
in your vaginal area and your uterus. And she took it.
It was like a white stick that like a camera
and we're looking at it. And so she's like, okay,
now you have to take an FSG pregnancy test to
(13:02):
see if you can even have kids because of what
I see. So I got that documentation together, got the
polygraphs together, and then I went to the police because
I'm like, where the fuck is my daughter? At this point,
we know that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I gave birth. Do you remember going birth? Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, yeah, on nineteen fifty six the street in Muskegan, Michigan.
Upstairs with the room with the purple carpet if it's
still up there, Yes, in my tinker Bell room.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I did, and you gave birth. Now we a couple
of days, a couple of weeks until the pregnancy to
the baby actually being here, and then the baby just disappears,
and you know what, that's so fucking crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yo's what's crazy is I'm thinking because I don't know
if you heard me say that I had her and
she was in the middle of me and.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
My mom, because your mom was hold of her right right,
And someone said I know that you probably still have
some sort of care.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
She was like, because baby, your mama didn't have love
for you or that baby. She was like, your mama
was making you comfortable so they can come and take
the baby, making you feel like, oh, I care, you know,
I'm gonna be here for you, and then boom, you
wake up and your baby just gone. That was just
she was just making you comfortable. And so I'm like, like,
you have to understand your mom is the things that
(14:24):
she do and the things that she let go on.
There's no way that she has no street mind. She
know how to move, but she's doing it smart and
she used your love for her to manipulate you.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, that's what's gonna her exactly. She learned at a
very young age, so she oh, she ain't new to this.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
She knew exactly to actsolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Because the fact that she delivered a whole baby and
she not even a doctor, it's just like wow. And
then I'm assuming once you deliver the baby, you having
this baby, you go back to school like nothing happens.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And then well, I went through a hard time at first,
So my dude, I'm going through postpartument puberty at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So your emotions of a kid is times twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
All over the place. And they're saying, there is no baby,
what are you talking about? So imagine someone playing and
this is the time where you are molding your human
right when it comes to everything helping them grow up.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, intelligence, right.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
You're playing on her mind. You're you're you're taking her
brain and poking at it.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
So now that you're not on yourself, like did I
even have.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
A baby exactly? So that's why I'm like, Okay, maybe
I'm tripping. I'm just gonna move on. And so that
that was easier for me to accept then to keep bothering.
And then she got to the point where she's like
screaming like you didn't have a fucking bag of you
What the fuck is you were talking about? And you
know it's going off. So you know, I just decided, okay,
(15:59):
maybe i'm and I didn't have a baby because they
were playing on my mind so much thinking making me
feel like I was crazy, you know, no, honey, And
then we find her moving forward?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
So how did you connect with the private investigator? So
he was already wait, I know niggas listen to the
story like wait a minute. Yeah, they're like, so we
found a baby.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah. So he was all over the internet at first.
Well actually not really, he was. He was getting a
buzz because he is known for doing retrievals for women
in sex trafficking, and he is also known for being
a celebrity bodyguard from multiple different celebrities. I reached out
(16:46):
to him because I saw him. I think I saw
him on a news station and I saw him of
his interviews, and I'm like, maybe he can help me,
and so he did. First, he got like a thorough
background asked me a bunch of questions address excuse me,
addresses I remember, just a bunch of different things. And
(17:08):
so the background check took about two weeks. And then
he reached back out to me, and then we just
continued to get to know each other. He wanted to
know more about the story. I gave him very detailed
information and then he called me back and said, Hey,
your daughter's in Detroit. She's with two gay men, and
(17:32):
she's seventeen. She's if not eighteen seventeen. Yes, this is
her senior year of high school. Wait, also, so.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You also mentioned that these two gay men are also pedophiles.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
From what yes, so, And what's interesting is so when
I first connected with him, my emotions were so high.
When I knew that he located her, my emotions were
so high. And He's like, listen, I don't think it's
a good thing for you to speak directly to anyone.
I think you need to have a middleman because your
emotions and you being all over the place and not
(18:07):
somebody ass Okay, girls, yas, I'm like, you need to
stay right. I think give me the address. I just
want the address to what she had a pull up?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl MBNA here and be
sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty
private podcasts and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube
channel at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to
the show. How did he find her? I mean, honest,
this is what he does. But like, and how do
you know that's your child?
Speaker 3 (18:41):
So he works with people who works with the like
that has worked with the government. Basically, okay, he has
helped people higher up upper eachelal line, people help find
their kids. Help even if it's just like a run away,
like you know, I'm mad, I'm about to run away.
(19:02):
He's done it all, so he has a lot of
different resources and plus him being in the industry and him,
you know, having those resources has helped him a lot
as well. So I know Ronda. I think her name
is Randa. I don't know her last name, but she's
very well known on the internet for helping track women.
He works with her, and he has a whole team
(19:24):
that he works with that helps him. But the last
thing that needs to happen is at DNA test.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Right, And do you believe this is your child?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
From what I've and I do know her name, I know,
so I haven't some things I don't put out there
to protect her situation, but from the things that I
do know, yes, and just to put it out there,
I think, if not anything, that her name and if
she ever hears, is that her name is so perfect
(19:56):
and it fits her, it fits her if she is
my daughter, if it's to perfectly, mmm, wow.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
How do you think she got with the two gay dudes?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Illegal adoption? Mm hmm, I think it was some weird
things going on, but from my understanding, it was willingly.
They willingly gave her to them. It was a willing,
willingly thing. It wasn't something to where they took her
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
And how does he know that they're pedophiles? I do
to have a record.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I didn't even get. I don't even I don't even honestly,
I don't even know. I don't know how he knows
for a fact that they're pedophiles. Right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
But and another thing that you haven't really touched on
is she's also a part of a Satanic church.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yes, yes, yes, it's it's overwhelming to hear that.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
She's definitely covered though.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
What what what it's overwhelming is I remember taking trips
to Detroit. I remember the church. He's like, do you
remember it's it's a windmill and and I started to
remember remember certain things, but I don't remember like being
like praising the devil. But I do remember little things
(21:27):
like when I told you that when they do fornicate
and do things, it's called indulging. And I identified that
with demonic.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
They all are part of the same community exactly. Wow, wow,
now it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Mm hmm. So That's why when I in the five
part series, when I say like I was being followed
and was weird things going on, a lot of these
people aren't just people that are just not doing anything
with their lives. And we all know people in certain
(22:08):
positions and have that have certain roles they can get
they can things can happen, and then not even that
I'm twelve, So what control do I really have of
a where baby goes or what happens. It's so easy
to run over. It was so easy to get over
on me when in that situation because I had no power,
I have no voice. And then when I do get
(22:28):
a voice, look what they're doing. If anything, you know,
I will be withstanding with my daughter. I would be
standing with my niece. I wouldn't be trying to bash,
I wouldn't be trying to go up against her or
any of that. So I think that all of that
just speaks values as well.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So are you waiting for her to turn eighteen to
make initial contact?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
So honestly, to be completely honest with you, all of
these things like the PI even keeping it going costs money,
and so that's one thing, and then the number two.
I'm in this whole from August until now, I've been
(23:15):
I transferred to TSU. So I've been trying. I've been
doing interviews, I've been trying to find my daughter. And
then I've been finding out. I think that people don't
understand when you when you find out things like this
is her name, that's a breakdown moment. That's a moment
where I'm on the floor crying. She's in a Santanic church.
That ain't just like, Okay, shed at satany church. No,
that's now my heart is broken. That's a bad day
(23:37):
for me.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
So it's a lie.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
It's a lie. And so it's been So what I've
been trying to do is I told myself, I'm gonna
get through this school year. I'm gonna let her finish
her senior year and then we're gonna come back to this.
Because I wasn't doing good in school. It was affecting me.
And I'm like you yeah, and I'm like how I
everything can be going wrong, and the things that can
(24:00):
go right are the things that need to go right,
especially those things that are gonna put me in positions later, right,
Me being depressed, me being sad, me trying to find
my daughter, is one thing, but I have to be
able to show her something. I have to be able
to set an example for her. And I can't just
say at fuck school because that's what I wanted to do.
(24:20):
I was on my mind, was on a whole different path.
But this second semester, I'm like, I had to buckle down.
So I'm like, I can't put all my focus there
right now.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
You know, I'm a nephew with some people. Please, Yeah,
I'm gonna connect you with some people, and I'm gonna
also connect you with my therapist. And even though I'm
not a fan of these, I do believe in certain
cases like this is necessary. You need to start a
go fund me account.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
That's what everyone keeps saying.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Oh baby, if I wish you I would have been
had that go for me account ready. I'm telling you
all this attention support that you're receiving, you need as
much support and resources as possible. So by the time
it's coming out when I'm gonna give your hands up,
you need to have that account ready.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh I am, yes, I don't know today.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
You need to have it ready to tell you you
can't do this by yourself. You need your community to
step up and support you absolutely, because now you have
a bigger family that's willing to be there for you.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Absolutely, and that makes me so happy. That is one
of the joys. You know. I was nervous about saying
all of this, and to be honest with you, I
started my YouTube channel. Yeah, and I've always wanted a
YouTube channel. I've always wanted wanted the YouTube channel. And
my first video was about my father. It's about not
having a father growing up. And I wanted my first
(25:42):
video to be have substance to me about something. And
what inspired me was my hometown, which is Inskige in Michigan.
And they inspired me.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yeah, sout out the.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
They inspired me because it was a lot of killing
going on in my hometown, a lot of black young
kids with Diane and I'm like, people not even realizing
what they doing to these little girls. You know, little
girls without fathers are not protected, you know. And so
I was so nervous and so shy. And there was
(26:15):
actually another YouTuber who like I was like, Oh, I'm
not going to do this, and he's like, no, you
need to pick the camera up.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You need to do this, I'm telling you.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
And so shout out to Joe t. Baker because he's
one of the one of the YouTubers he does stories
and also if you haven't checked out Traps, go check
out Traps. He has a series on two B. But yes,
he was like, you should just do it, just do it,
pick it up. And I was like, I was trying
to find my niche and he was like, just post
a bunch of different videos and see what people like
(26:44):
want from you. And so yes, So I continue to
do that, and I'm happy I did. And I'm happy
I say consistent, and I wasn't even as consistent as
I wanted to be, but I'm happy that I stayed
the course because if I just gave up, I would
be talking to you right now because my story would
have never gotten out there.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So I just want to say to any black queen,
whatever it is that you want to do is started.
You know, do it.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
You know.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
The only thing can happen is the lesson, because failure
is just the lesson and it's not doesn't mean you
have to give up.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
If your daughter was listening to this episode right now,
what do you want her to take away from from
y'all story? Because she is a part of your story.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yes, oh my daughter was listening to her right now,
listening to me right now. I would tell her that
I love her. I would tell her that I am
fighting for her. I would tell her that I'm never
gonna stop fighting for her, and that everything that even
when she feels like maybe that I've forgotten or I'm
not focused on her, everything that I do is for
(27:48):
her and I can't wait to see her and that
she's beautiful and hold her head high. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Do you ever think about when the relation, when the
relationship starts, that it may be triggering for you.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I've thought about that a lot. I think that it
won't be triggering for me. I think it will be
eye opening, and I think it will be a joy.
I'm so I don't want to go into the relationship
(28:21):
sad or like, oh you know this happened to us
and you're we are so, we are worriers. We are survive.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
What am we gonna do is survive and fight?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Okay, because one thing about it and two things for sure,
you were born at home. You didn't have to survive either,
so you strong. You are strong. So if you listen
to this, you got my book, my blood, and you
you strong.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yeah, you know, what's your relationship like with your mind
and your body today after everything you endure. Because I can,
I feel like and you obviously you gonna correct me,
but I can only imagine how challenging it may be
for you to navigate being intimate with other people.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
It has been a challenge. I feel like sexually, I've
never really been like, to be honest with you, I
didn't have an orgasm until I was like twenty eight.
Yeah and so, and I think, and I don't know
if that's normal for women or not, but I think
that is because I never really I've always had a
(29:24):
high sex drive, but never felt comfortable enough with people. Now,
don't get me wrong, it was always consensual with you know,
with the person I was with, But I felt like
I wasn't opening up. And I'm thinking like I felt
like me not dealing with all of this is the
reason why, because I had so much sexual trauma that
(29:50):
I didn't realize how much it did affect my sex life.
And I think that learning that I'm MISTAKEEO sexual too
like the one of the reasons why you are having
a hard time Because that man ain't he ain't on
your intellect, so you're trying to connect with somebody intertwined
with somebody who ain't even here with you, and everybody
(30:12):
don't need that, but for me to be fulfilled, I
need that peace first, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah. And then another thing that I love about your
story is how you spoke about your relationship with God.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Absolutely and you never.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Was angry with him. You always knew that he was
a pivotal role in your survival. Talk about that, because
you also during your story talk about how you was
like in a mental institution or something, and you were
saying how God needed the place you're there to confirm
that you were not crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And I tell you, baby.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Girl, when I tell you, that was the most humbling
experience I've ever had. So how I got there, that's
out there. How I got there. I was at the
hospital that is when she had just told me, like, hey,
(31:10):
you have to do an ssg F pregnancy test, do
to the damadusty. I don't know if you're going to
be able to have kids. Now. That was overwhelming information
for me because I always wanted to be a mother
and someone has taken a gift that guy has given
to me and I'm not even able to use it, like,
you know, I've just devastated. I started having a panic attack.
I called my dad's I call my grandmother. I'm crying,
(31:33):
I'm shaking. She said, I don't want you to drive.
I want you to sit and calm down first, because
you don't need to drive. So shaking up my phone,
but my phone dies. She calls the police to the
doctor's office because she thinks like, oh my goodness, I
don't want her. She's freaking out. So my phone ended
(31:54):
up cutting back on. I call my aunt and my
grandmother is together. At this point. They we go in
the room and they say, hey, she you know where.
We don't think she's gonna be able to have kids,
but she needs to take this test. And then they
printed off the documentation of Hey, she told me this
is what happened to her. That's exactly what I see
(32:16):
from the damage, you know, just you know, breaking everything
down to my grandmother and my aunt. I'm still freaking out.
I go to the hospital just to give my grandmother
a piece of mind. Get checked out. I go home.
I'm still I'm in the in the midst of this,
I'm working full time and I'm finishing up my associates degree.
I graduate in about six months at this point. So
(32:40):
I live alone too, and I'm in Kalamazoo, Michigan pretty
much by myself. So I'm having panic attacks. I'm having
anxiety attacks that I deal with high and extreme anxiety.
So I have anxiety attacks. And so they're like, okay,
I went to the hospital twice. The third time, they're like, okay,
(33:03):
if you're saying all these things happen to you, we
want you to get evaluated, not because we think something
is wrong with you.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
But how are you able to just deal with Oh?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Yeah, like how are you navigating right now? And so
I called my mom. My mom said she was going
to come out, and they said, okay, we're not going
to have you go to Like if your mom is
going to come here, we're not going to have you
go to any hospital. We have your mom come get
(33:33):
you and she can decide what. You know, you guys
can decide that together. So she says, no, I think
she should go. I think you guys should. So she agreed.
She they either said it's up to you. They told
it's up to you, and she said go ahead. So
now I'm angry that I'm thinking like, okay, maybe my
mom cares a little bit. She says, she's going to
(33:53):
come out here. You're only coming out here because you
know that I'm around professional speaking on things you don't
want me to speak about, so now you you know.
So AnyWho, I go there, I get there and they
put me in a room, take my shoe strings out
of my shoes, take my hairside out of my hair.
They're asking me all these questions, and I'm like, do
(34:14):
I want to kill myself? Which I've worked in a
as a police clerk before, so I know though that's protocol,
You're gonna have to ask those questions, right, But I'm
thinking to myself, I have a roommate. I know that
I'm not crazy, and I'm sitting like, how did I
go from being told that I can't have kids and
I'm telling my story to my story got me into
(34:35):
a psych ward Like I'm I'm not you know, Okay,
So they're like, your roommate is quiet. You know, she's
she's cool. But I'm thinking, like, girl, we is in
the psych ward. Ain't no, Ain't that much quiet in
the world right right? So? And I'm thinking like quiet
that means you wear. It is a little so I'm
looking around the room at what I can find if
(34:56):
she get a little out of hand.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I'm being right to protect yourself.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
So I told myself, I'm not sleeping in the room
with her because I don't know you, and you went
here for something I don't know. But I know I'm
not crazy right now. One of the reasons why I
was having the anxiety attacks and Panica taxes because I
was calling my family expressing how I feel, oh, you know,
making me feel like I was crazy. So now I'm
(35:22):
at home with no one to talk to, battling my
own thoughts, which is sending me into these because no
one just you know, is keeping it real. They want
me to think I'm crazy. So that's one of the
reasons why I feel like my mom said go ahead,
get there. I'm I didn't sleep in the room with
the girl. I stayed up. I didn't mind you. I'm
leaving the hospital to going to the cycle where like that.
(35:44):
I go there in the ambulance, so I barely got
any sleep, So I'm going on day two no sleep.
I get there that around four thirty, the doctors are leaving,
so they're like, we have to evaluate you. If we
evaluate you and you're good, will send you home. Oh
the doctors are gone. You have to wait till tomorrow,
So now I have to stay overnight. It's to the
(36:04):
point to where I'm blending in so good with the
staff that the patients that's asking me, can I go
get some water? Can I go? So even the staff
is like, why is she here? You know you don't
you know, you don't seem like you need to be
here at all. So at this time, I'm doing good
in school. I'm like, hey, I have a three point
(36:26):
five GPA, I am working full time. At the time,
I was working at a furniture store.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Nothing's wrong with me, nothing's wrong with me.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
And so I meet the doctor. Oh actually before the
doctor comes, my mom and my grandmother and my family
come up to the psych board and they're going off
and all of this, and they're like, well, you can't
see her until tomorrow. You know, visiting hours are over.
So they she causes a big scene. They end up
letting her come back. Me and her get into an
(36:56):
argument because I'm like, look, you're fucking with my school,
you're fucking with my my money. I was never supposed
to be in here anyway, and there's nothing wrong with me. No,
so she's trying to get me out a character. At
this point, the lady said, if there's anything that's wrong
with her, you caused it. They left. The doctor comes in,
(37:19):
he talks to me. He told me that he is
proud that I'm even navigating because there's so many women
that come in and out that have the same story.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Oh, that's what this story breaks a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Yes, he said. He was giving me resources. He said,
I believe you a million percent. He said, I'm releasing
you today. Sent my professor's letters, you know, for my
so I can get my work, my job. He made
sure I was fine, and he said, I agree with
the front desk. Whatever is wrong, they caused it. You
(37:56):
don't need to be locked up in a psych wored
he said, if anything, you need out patient therapy, but
to be locked up and be restrained and not be
able to just go about your daily activities and what
you need to do. That doesn't need to happen. I
continued on, and I graduated twenty fifth and that was that.
And so but when I got home and honestly, being
(38:19):
in an environment like that it changes you. I didn't
even need to I can imagine how a prison is
because these people are people who don't get a choice
to walk out of the door. They have done things
to where like I had to fight my way up
out of there. I have to talk my way and
fight my way and out of there. Right. And so
(38:42):
I told myself every one my family, I'm talking to you,
you're crazy or crazy or crazy. God says, trust me,
trust you. You have to trust yourself first. If I
say these things happen to me, I remember these things.
I have a visual of these things, and my body's
speaking to me and the person on the phone. I
(39:03):
think the most fucked up thing that was messing me
up is these are people that I loved that like,
you're lying, you're crazy, you know? And this the Stopholm
syndromatics best because it's not even love, right. I was
taught to love you, not to tell on you, right,
and so, and then you're using drugs and you're doing
different things, and it's cloud in my memory. It's a
(39:23):
lot of things that go into play when it comes
to this. So just a lot, girl.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
We're almost finished. But one thing I was a little
confused on is how did the military get involved?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Okay, good question. So I lead the cycle word and
I say, God had to put me in a place
where people don't have a sound mind so I can
see visually. He know his child, he know I'm a
visual learner. He said, I have to show you what
crazy life so you can see you Okay, right, So
(40:04):
I said, okay, I'll get home. I pray, I get
myself together. I said, you know what, God, just to
put the cherry on top. I'm going to go to
the best polygraph examiner in Michigan. He has. He's been
a detective for over forty years. He's been through all
throughout the state of Michigan, all throughout the United States.
(40:24):
He's been on doctor Phield. His resume is out of
this world. And I said, I want Howard Swabash to
do my polygraph pass with flying colors. Go get the
documentation for my obg y N take it to the
Miskeigan Police Department. Also contact JAG, which is the police
(40:51):
the military police, and it goes from there. They fly
out a detective of legraph from the military shot flew
She flew out and we did an extensive interview. She
already came prepared. She did a lot of research before
meeting me, so she came with CPS cases that she found.
She came with old statements from teachers that she found,
(41:13):
so she there was things there. She also asked them
to take a polygraph. I paid for mine on my own.
This was outsourced. The military said they wanted to give
one to him because he's in the military, right and
they declined. They said they did not want to take one.
They declined, and so she said that they were going
(41:35):
to pick up the case. So she said that she
could not fully investigate the case because it happened in
Michigan and Muskegan. So she contacted the detectives in Muskegan.
I think it was Detective Anderson and Detective I'm not
sure it was three of them, but she said they
(41:57):
were going to work together so until the case was solved,
and then went to I was working with the Michigan
Police Department that whole summer. I moved to Texas, and
I think that is when they were like, I feel
like they kind of gave up on me in a sense,
because I'm like, I got to get to school, you know,
I'm trying to work this side, and they're like, oh,
(42:18):
you know, just go to school, you know, basically, just
move on from it, you know, just because they I
don't really feel like they wanted to investigate it. And
when I was talking to the detective, he wasn't really attentive.
He was like, cause, like I said, it was a
lot of murdering going on in my city. So he's like, no,
I'm not trying to be funny, but you know, this
just happened, and this just happened, and it just and so.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
It really made me pensitive. It is, and he's he
and this is why black and brown people don't come
out and tell their stories exactly.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
And so it was it was just a lot. And
so as I'm preparing to move, it was like they
were kind of waiting on that. Now I'm one of
the things. And if people don't know and you're from Michigan,
they chaff and adults of vile act. So that means
that just say, you are, you got raped and you're
(43:08):
rushing home to go tell your parents, and you get
in a car accident and move your memory and you
don't remember, and then you remember listening to Jagged Edge
on your way in that song, and it triggers you
and you remember, then you can still fight that. Yep,
you can still fight that with the Adults to Virus Act.
And then you have three years after you tell the
(43:29):
police to continue to fight it. So just say you
tell them about the story, and you you say, hell,
I don't really want to do it right now, you
have three years after the fact.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
So where's your stepfather at Now?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
He's still in the military, which everyone is wondering how
that even? How is that? So especially when his own
the military themselves asked him, Hey, we want to do
a polygraph. Now a Lugward did say she could not
force him to do one. She says, she believes me wholeheartedly,
but she could not force him to do one. Now,
how he's still active with these allegations with the polygraph
(44:03):
with him denying one, I don't know. And then we also,
I don't know if you saw mine. I think it's
in part three, my grandmother is admitting that he touched
one of his own kids.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
So, and how many kids does he have?
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Two?
Speaker 2 (44:18):
And does he have any with your mom?
Speaker 3 (44:21):
Two?
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Oh? Wow?
Speaker 3 (44:23):
So, yeah, it was a situation that happened that I'm
not going to disclose her name to protect my sister.
But she came home and she was about maybe three,
and she was pointing and saying things and three years old, yeah,
and I said she was. I said, didn't she come
home that day and say this? And she said, yeah,
he did. And so now I'm thinking to myself, and
(44:45):
I'm a kid myself. At she's three, I'm probably ten. Yeah,
I'm about ten, and so I'm only what third grade?
So I'm angry. I'm crying because i always wanted to
protect my sister's I'm a protector, that is me. I
may not be the oldest, but I've always wanted to protect.
(45:07):
And so we have an audio of her her admitting
that those are those things were saying. But you know,
it's not like she doesn't know, like my grandmother knows
about even the guy that my mom was in a
relationship previously to the man she's married to. Now that's
who my store, my sister's story is connected to. So
(45:27):
you know, in my mind, I even go to the
depth of thinking, did she say, Okay, I'll let him
touch your sister, So now I have to now it's
your turn type of deal, like.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
What was this or if I if it was done
to me, why you know, why it can't happen to you?
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Right, you know? And and that's why I don't respect him,
because it happened to me. And I can still open
my mouth and say whatever you know and say, hey,
this is not gonna happen. So where was your fight?
Where was your But then one would say, okay, she
had two kids eighteen months apart, probably going through some
(46:01):
type of post pardon, her family fucked up, and then
the person who tried to save her dies, her mental
state where is she now? I give my mother grace
during that time because I can only imagine falling in love,
having two kids, and then saying I love you, see
you when I get home, and then you die. So
(46:22):
I give her grace. But when I stopped giving her
grace is and I don't think I'll ever not give
her grace on that. But when you start having children,
getting remarried, going out, having a good time, you're navigating
well enough to be to know what you're doing, to
know what's right and wrong. So and even now, like
the fact that she's not standing with me said a
(46:44):
lot any other mother, that polygraph would have been enough.
Just the fact that you pass that would have been
enough to have me in a friendly how why you
know the obg yn. No, one's risking their license for you,
is risking their schooling, their license, their careers to lie
(47:04):
on these people, you know. So the documents that I have,
they're official, the people are official, and my truth is
not up for debate, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, So what does forgiveness look like for you? Or
do you even want forgiveness at this point?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
You know? Forgiveness to me looks like moving on. Forgiveness
looks like moving on. I do not plan to mend
anything with these people. I do not plan to be
around them. It's pretty much they're nonexistent to me, and
I am moving on and I am healing. Forgiveness takes time.
(47:42):
It doesn't happen overnight, and due to the severity of
beat situations and everything that's happened, that's gonna take time.
So forgiveness right now to me just looks like moving
on and persevering through everything and continuing on to be successful.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Yeah. No, oh, I'm super proud of you, sus I'm
really in Despite that you've been through, you still look good,
brown skin for the wind like you in school, you're
handling your business like this would have really this has
broken a lot of people. So the fact that you
are still here in sound mind is it says a lot.
So you know you can give yourself some grace when
(48:20):
its certain things because you know it's it's hard out
here with you being a single woman, you figuring things out.
That's why you gotta get this gofund me account started
so we can support you.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
Absolutely, girl, I'm gonna do it as soon as we
get off. And I didn't want to see. I'm a
person that is headstrong, so I'm like, I'm not gonna
get on here. But now it's to the point to
where no, I probably should because dealing with especially because
I'm a woman, dealing with two men that are the parents,
is I need some type of like that's a lot
(48:51):
for me because I'm mad too, you know.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
And then i'd want We're gonna get you, at least
get you to have a relationship with your.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
Child exactly exactly. And I just want to say this
too to mothers. As an aunt, I'm not a mom yet,
but the closest thing as an aunt and as a woman,
always choose your kids because as they get older and you.
(49:20):
The fun parts is watching them have their own children's
in their own life and and just becoming something you
don't want to miss out on that. And a man
is got not guaranteed, but your child's love is always guaranteed.
So always choose your kids because guess what the way
(49:42):
God works is when you choose your kids, He's gonna
send you a man that chooses you. Because a man
that chooses you would never want your baby. If anything,
he gonna protect your baby. He ain't gonna want your daughter.
He gonna look he ain't even gonna look at her
like that. So choose your kids. And when you sacrifice that,
and when you when you two your kids and you
sacrifice that time go to school, get you a foundation,
(50:04):
get yourself together. If you don't like school, do hair,
just find something to help you set a foundation for
your kids. And I'm telling you God will send you
someone that is just for you and for the women
who are like me, who have a story like mine.
Don't give up, keep fighting. You are beautiful, you are strong.
(50:25):
Every day when I have a hard day, I look
myself in the mirror and I remind myself who I am,
who I am and I am a queen. I am
God's child, and no matter what happens to me in
this world, I am covered in the blood of Jesus Christ.
And so with that being said, no matter what I'm
going through, I strap my shoes on tight and I
walk out the door and I keep fighting. So that's
(50:46):
what you should.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Do, a man, what I'm talking about. Okay, I'm definitely
keep in contact with you. We are. I'm gonna definitely
support you and hopefully stay with you on your Journey's
who you can get your graduation from the quote unquote
air croach y'all the real TSU. Yes, you know, I'm
really looking forward to seeing how your story blossom because
(51:07):
I think you have a beautiful story and it's a
testament of how God has always been with you.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
So absolutely, and I just want to let everyone know. Two,
I do have a tour coming up, Okay. Yes, it's
with Terror Bream and so we'll be hitting a bunch
of different cities. So just make sure you guys look
on my YouTube or look on my Instagram channel for that.
Thank you Instagram. Yes, I definitely will.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
For sure if you come into the Tri State area,
let me know for sure, and I come out pull.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Up most definitely, most definitely. Yes.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Well, thank you so much, sus I really appreciate this,
and to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments,
or concerns, please make sure to email me a hello
at the PSG podcast dot com. I believe this conversation
was the epitome of what I always say about the
professional homegirl. You never know how your storyline could be
somebody else's lifeline. So until next time, everyone, Later, you
(52:06):
ain't gonna say bye.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Bye, bir I know if you was done with your closing,
but thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for
listening to my story. Make sure you follow me on
my social media. And again, if you're going through anything,
let me be in an inspiration and I will not
give up. I'll never give up. So if you don't
have anybody that you feel like you can look at
to inspire you, just keep watching me because I'm not
(52:30):
gonna stop.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Okay, period, period, later later. Pretty Private is a production
of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
(52:54):
to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate
the show, and you can connect with me on social
media at pretty private podcast
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebina, a space where no
question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views
shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.
From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times
don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a vice.
Welcome back to Pretty Private Inhagara. Ebine here, and I
hope all is cute. Now today, we're just gonna jump
(00:39):
right into Part two. Okay, my guest is taking us
even deeper into her story, being born into a sex cult,
going through a whole pregnancy while family member says she
was making it up, and she even shared details on
being sent to a mental institution. And then get this,
(01:00):
she finally finds her daughter and what she discovers, y'all,
is things no one could have prepared her for. You know,
I talked to a lot of people on this show,
and I gotta tell you, this is by far the
most shocking story I ever heard. So get comfortable, stay tuned,
(01:23):
and let's get ready because I was born into a
sex cult. Part two starts now back in the day
when I was growing up, Like we used to be
able to spend a night at the teacher's house. Like
you can't do that now, Like it ain't no sleepover
like you used.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
To be able to, like go to your coach house
and stay over the girl. You can't do that no more.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You can't do that, Like you gotta have a whole
background check on the entire family. Like, yeah, moms are
so different.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I'd rather them come up in my house and I'll
be the soccer mom. I'll be hang out spot, just
so I know what y'all first, because.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
I know me girl, okay, right, And then there was
even another situation where your aunt was also sexually abusing you.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Absolutely, Yeah, So my mom asked her to watch us
while she went to work, and she would say, let's
play a game. Let's play a game, wait till my
mom leaves. And my sister would cry because she would
tell my sister, you know, you can't play the game,
And so she would sit in front of the door
and cry. And the first time she did that, I'm like, okay,
(02:33):
t TV show, Like I'm excited, you know, until I
she started to molest me, which is pushed my face
in her vagina, and at first I'm just like, you know,
what is this. I'm like wiping my face. I'm not
understanding what's right. And then she continued to do it,
and then I will cry and move and I would
(02:55):
tell her I don't want to play the game to
TV show, I don't want to play the game like
and I do if I can recall, right, I do
think that my mom ended up finding out about that.
I don't know if you know what I now that
I'm thinking about it. As you know, they were always
(03:21):
arguing over my grandfather, my mom. He kicked us out.
He was dating my grand I mean, my my right,
So when she would watch us, my mom started to have,
you know, have relationships with my grandfather again after he
raped my sister and she left her mhm vast new
(03:48):
juice on my face and let it dry. When my
mom picked me up, she said, I told you to stop,
my man.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
And all of this sounds like something off a movie,
something crazy, I know, but it's reality.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And I think that when you shared the story about
what happened to your older sister, and like you know,
you was very detailed and you was talking about how
your grandma was just crying stuff, and you were trying
to figure out how to open a door. I wanted
thought by then that your mom like something with a click.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
You know, there was times like okay, I will say
when we were at home, there would have been times
so my mom would say, you know, because my heart
and my dad came from two different worlds that she
described it to me. You know, my dad's mom had
five kids by the time she was twenty five, you know,
and my mom come from a two parent household. She
(04:45):
grew up in Whitehall, Michigan, which is a town that
is like very everybody got a tractor, it's fine, yeah,
on the outskirts. On the outskirts went to a predominantly
white school. You know, my dad has a whole different story.
(05:06):
So I think they exchanged I guess wisdom in what
it was at that age for them. You know, he
gave her some street and she gave him some upright,
if that makes sense. And I think that they loved
each other because they were so different. That's how she
described it to me. And I think he gave her strength.
(05:26):
I think he helped her realize who she was because
she and she told me he thought she was so beautiful.
He thought she was gorgeous, and so when she shared
things with him, he told her that he was going
to protect her and be there for her. And when
he died, and then she because when she got pregnant
and it was a girl, and she said, I wasn't
going to keep her. I told her dad, I was
(05:47):
not going to keep her because I was nervous. I
didn't want things to happen to her. And he said, hey,
my baby, you know, ain't nothing gonna happen to my baby.
We're only eighteen months apart. So she get pregnant, right,
you know, back to back, and then eight months after
she has me, he dies. So it's not like my
dad and my grandfather was you know, kubai eyeing in
(06:09):
the kitchen. No, they didn't get along. They weren't. They
didn't really talk at all because my dad seeing him
for who he was.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Do you think that the reason why your mom allowed
this to happen is because you are a physical manifestation
of the life she thought she would have had with
your father.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I think there was some jealousy there. I think there.
I think that my mom was trained to depend on someone.
I think she learned how to be independent on her own.
But that is how that is why my grandmother is
(06:49):
still with my grandfather for security. Right. So I think
maybe that's why she stayed because, you know, stayed in
the situation because she was young with two kids, you know,
and she never really had to he was teaching her
some hustle. She didn't have that because she grew up
in a farmy town and went to it. She had
two parents in her home. Now I'm not saying that
(07:10):
makes it perfect. I'm not saying that she didn't have
things happened to her. But what I am saying when
you grow up in that way and you don't grow
up around your people, it takes the culture out of
you and you don't always handle things that maybe the
way you should. That make yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Now, what do you remember about the day when you
found out you were pregnant.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I remember going downstairs and my mom okay, so to
give to help you understand a few things on how
I even got pregnant and all that. My period started
in fifth grade and health class at oak View Elementary
in Miss Darcy's class. I'll never forget it. All the
(07:53):
boys went to mister Alcorn's class. All the girls went
to her now, ask she's telling us about this, Thank
you God, because that's how I learned. My sister started
hers and my mom talked on to her clothes. They
made it seem like a bad thing. They laughed at her,
They just you know, they just made it seem like
a bad thing. The reason why is because when the
(08:13):
girl starts her period, you have to stop touching her, right.
But I hid mine, right, So that's how the pregnancy came.
Because I'm like, I'm not gonna tell anybody. I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna tell my mom or anybody because
I don't want them to talk about me. I don't
want you know. So I you know, if you live
(08:34):
in a house with women, you can start to you
recognize what they do when they're on their cycle. So
I started doing those things. And I remember I left
something in the bathroom and she's like, who's this this?
And I blamed it on my sister. But I'm not
sure if she knew it was me or not. But
(08:55):
so I don't think she did, because she would have
said something. She would have she knew what they were
doing when they was coming in my room, So I
think she suspected it. So anyway, one day I come
down the stairs, She's like, come here, and she's like,
come closer because I have been sleeping a lot. You know,
things start had to start changing with me. And so
(09:17):
she she said, I think you're pregnant. Are you pregnant?
If she kind of asked herself while asking me, like
are you pregnant? And I'm like, pregnant? Why would I
be pregnant?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Did you even understand?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
No? I was, I didn't understand why she was. Okay,
I started to get weary of my mind because of
that moment, but I was, I didn't understand why she
was asking me that, because I did. I never thought
that my mom would allow someone to do that.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But did you understand at that time, like, because I
know you were young, like that having sex can lead
to pregnancy? Like nobody ever explained.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
It to absolutely? Absolutely? Absolutely, And I'm I'm still very
reserved sometimes and shy, but at that time, there's no way.
I'm I'm still watching. That's so rating. You know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I'm that's what I'm saying. You're a kid.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not even into any of that.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
You know why I never thought you never thought that
you would be pregnant.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
No, girl, I'm shy again. You know how he was
passing notes between classes like.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Like that's all like the psyche of a twelve year old,
Like you're sticking that, you're.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Just tired, exactly. And then we didn't even have like
Facebook or none of that back then. It was just
a social interaction at school. So I take the pregnancy test,
and now they're in a frenzy because they're like, oh
my goodness.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Why.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
She's like, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you
tell me? And I'm like, because of what you did
to my sister, Like you know, I said it because
you dog like you made it seem like such a
bad team. So I'm probably at the most maybe I
(11:02):
don't know ninety pounds back then, right, Not sure what
what time, what how many months I was when when
she found out? I don't recall it. But at this
point she's trying to figure out what to do because
you can't take a twelve year old to an abortion
clinic to get the baby out, because you're gonna go
(11:22):
to jail exact dam because you're pregnant exactly, damn Sure,
can't take it to the hospital. So what are you
gonna do? There's nothing to do but to have the baby.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Wow? And were you still going to school? Like did
nobody notice that you were showing?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
No? So it was every morning I would get up,
she would wrap this thick urban. It would be like
Sam wrap and then on top of that like a
thick turban kind of like what they wear on their heads.
But she would wrap it. And I was already little.
And in two thousand and five, nobody looking for a
no twelve year ord be pregnant, like that's not even
a thing, you know. So and I just I remember
(12:06):
just kept asking, like how do how am I pregnant?
I've never had sex before? How am I pregnant? You know?
And she's like, you know, you can't say nothing, you
can't say nothing. I'm gonna go to jail. Da da dah.
She just made it such a big deal because at first,
like we can't send her to school, like we can't
stand her to school.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But then you miss school, that'll be a whole nother
se question.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Godly, So she delivered a baby at the house, and
then that leads us to obg y n so when
to her got a full exam done.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She said, there's no way that you were not pregnant.
And she was like, everything that you described that you
know has happened to you. I can see the damage
in your vaginal area and your uterus. And she took it.
It was like a white stick that like a camera
and we're looking at it. And so she's like, okay,
now you have to take an FSG pregnancy test to
(13:02):
see if you can even have kids because of what
I see. So I got that documentation together, got the
polygraphs together, and then I went to the police because
I'm like, where the fuck is my daughter? At this point,
we know that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I gave birth. Do you remember going birth? Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, yeah, on nineteen fifty six the street in Muskegan, Michigan.
Upstairs with the room with the purple carpet if it's
still up there, Yes, in my tinker Bell room.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I did, and you gave birth. Now we a couple
of days, a couple of weeks until the pregnancy to
the baby actually being here, and then the baby just disappears,
and you know what, that's so fucking crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Yo's what's crazy is I'm thinking because I don't know
if you heard me say that I had her and
she was in the middle of me and.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
My mom, because your mom was hold of her right right,
And someone said I know that you probably still have
some sort of care.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
She was like, because baby, your mama didn't have love
for you or that baby. She was like, your mama
was making you comfortable so they can come and take
the baby, making you feel like, oh, I care, you know,
I'm gonna be here for you, and then boom, you
wake up and your baby just gone. That was just
she was just making you comfortable. And so I'm like, like,
you have to understand your mom is the things that
(14:24):
she do and the things that she let go on.
There's no way that she has no street mind. She
know how to move, but she's doing it smart and
she used your love for her to manipulate you.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, that's what's gonna her exactly. She learned at a
very young age, so she oh, she ain't new to this.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
She knew exactly to actsolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Because the fact that she delivered a whole baby and
she not even a doctor, it's just like wow. And
then I'm assuming once you deliver the baby, you having
this baby, you go back to school like nothing happens.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And then well, I went through a hard time at first,
So my dude, I'm going through postpartument puberty at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
So your emotions of a kid is times twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
All over the place. And they're saying, there is no baby,
what are you talking about? So imagine someone playing and
this is the time where you are molding your human
right when it comes to everything helping them grow up.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, intelligence, right.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
You're playing on her mind. You're you're you're taking her
brain and poking at it.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
So now that you're not on yourself, like did I
even have.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
A baby exactly? So that's why I'm like, Okay, maybe
I'm tripping. I'm just gonna move on. And so that
that was easier for me to accept then to keep bothering.
And then she got to the point where she's like
screaming like you didn't have a fucking bag of you
What the fuck is you were talking about? And you
know it's going off. So you know, I just decided, okay,
(15:59):
maybe i'm and I didn't have a baby because they
were playing on my mind so much thinking making me
feel like I was crazy, you know, no, honey, And
then we find her moving forward?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
So how did you connect with the private investigator? So
he was already wait, I know niggas listen to the
story like wait a minute. Yeah, they're like, so we
found a baby.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah. So he was all over the internet at first.
Well actually not really, he was. He was getting a
buzz because he is known for doing retrievals for women
in sex trafficking, and he is also known for being
a celebrity bodyguard from multiple different celebrities. I reached out
(16:46):
to him because I saw him. I think I saw
him on a news station and I saw him of
his interviews, and I'm like, maybe he can help me,
and so he did. First, he got like a thorough
background asked me a bunch of questions address excuse me,
addresses I remember, just a bunch of different things. And
(17:08):
so the background check took about two weeks. And then
he reached back out to me, and then we just
continued to get to know each other. He wanted to
know more about the story. I gave him very detailed
information and then he called me back and said, Hey,
your daughter's in Detroit. She's with two gay men, and
(17:32):
she's seventeen. She's if not eighteen seventeen. Yes, this is
her senior year of high school. Wait, also, so.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You also mentioned that these two gay men are also pedophiles.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
From what yes, so, And what's interesting is so when
I first connected with him, my emotions were so high.
When I knew that he located her, my emotions were
so high. And He's like, listen, I don't think it's
a good thing for you to speak directly to anyone.
I think you need to have a middleman because your
emotions and you being all over the place and not
(18:07):
somebody ass Okay, girls, yas, I'm like, you need to
stay right. I think give me the address. I just
want the address to what she had a pull up?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl MBNA here and be
sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty
private podcasts and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube
channel at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to
the show. How did he find her? I mean, honest,
this is what he does. But like, and how do
you know that's your child?
Speaker 3 (18:41):
So he works with people who works with the like
that has worked with the government. Basically, okay, he has
helped people higher up upper eachelal line, people help find
their kids. Help even if it's just like a run away,
like you know, I'm mad, I'm about to run away.
(19:02):
He's done it all, so he has a lot of
different resources and plus him being in the industry and him,
you know, having those resources has helped him a lot
as well. So I know Ronda. I think her name
is Randa. I don't know her last name, but she's
very well known on the internet for helping track women.
He works with her, and he has a whole team
(19:24):
that he works with that helps him. But the last
thing that needs to happen is at DNA test.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Right, And do you believe this is your child?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
From what I've and I do know her name, I know,
so I haven't some things I don't put out there
to protect her situation, but from the things that I
do know, yes, and just to put it out there,
I think, if not anything, that her name and if
she ever hears, is that her name is so perfect
(19:56):
and it fits her, it fits her if she is
my daughter, if it's to perfectly, mmm, wow.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
How do you think she got with the two gay dudes?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Illegal adoption? Mm hmm, I think it was some weird
things going on, but from my understanding, it was willingly.
They willingly gave her to them. It was a willing,
willingly thing. It wasn't something to where they took her
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
And how does he know that they're pedophiles? I do
to have a record.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I didn't even get. I don't even I don't even honestly,
I don't even know. I don't know how he knows
for a fact that they're pedophiles. Right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
But and another thing that you haven't really touched on
is she's also a part of a Satanic church.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yes, yes, yes, it's it's overwhelming to hear that.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
She's definitely covered though.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
What what what it's overwhelming is I remember taking trips
to Detroit. I remember the church. He's like, do you
remember it's it's a windmill and and I started to
remember remember certain things, but I don't remember like being
like praising the devil. But I do remember little things
(21:27):
like when I told you that when they do fornicate
and do things, it's called indulging. And I identified that
with demonic.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
They all are part of the same community exactly. Wow, wow,
now it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Mm hmm. So That's why when I in the five
part series, when I say like I was being followed
and was weird things going on, a lot of these
people aren't just people that are just not doing anything
with their lives. And we all know people in certain
(22:08):
positions and have that have certain roles they can get
they can things can happen, and then not even that
I'm twelve, So what control do I really have of
a where baby goes or what happens. It's so easy
to run over. It was so easy to get over
on me when in that situation because I had no power,
I have no voice. And then when I do get
(22:28):
a voice, look what they're doing. If anything, you know,
I will be withstanding with my daughter. I would be
standing with my niece. I wouldn't be trying to bash,
I wouldn't be trying to go up against her or
any of that. So I think that all of that
just speaks values as well.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So are you waiting for her to turn eighteen to
make initial contact?
Speaker 3 (22:53):
So honestly, to be completely honest with you, all of
these things like the PI even keeping it going costs money,
and so that's one thing, and then the number two.
I'm in this whole from August until now, I've been
(23:15):
I transferred to TSU. So I've been trying. I've been
doing interviews, I've been trying to find my daughter. And
then I've been finding out. I think that people don't
understand when you when you find out things like this
is her name, that's a breakdown moment. That's a moment
where I'm on the floor crying. She's in a Santanic church.
That ain't just like, Okay, shed at satany church. No,
that's now my heart is broken. That's a bad day
(23:37):
for me.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
So it's a lie.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
It's a lie. And so it's been So what I've
been trying to do is I told myself, I'm gonna
get through this school year. I'm gonna let her finish
her senior year and then we're gonna come back to this.
Because I wasn't doing good in school. It was affecting me.
And I'm like you yeah, and I'm like how I
everything can be going wrong, and the things that can
(24:00):
go right are the things that need to go right,
especially those things that are gonna put me in positions later, right,
Me being depressed, me being sad, me trying to find
my daughter, is one thing, but I have to be
able to show her something. I have to be able
to set an example for her. And I can't just
say at fuck school because that's what I wanted to do.
(24:20):
I was on my mind, was on a whole different path.
But this second semester, I'm like, I had to buckle down.
So I'm like, I can't put all my focus there
right now.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
You know, I'm a nephew with some people. Please, Yeah,
I'm gonna connect you with some people, and I'm gonna
also connect you with my therapist. And even though I'm
not a fan of these, I do believe in certain
cases like this is necessary. You need to start a
go fund me account.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
That's what everyone keeps saying.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Oh baby, if I wish you I would have been
had that go for me account ready. I'm telling you
all this attention support that you're receiving, you need as
much support and resources as possible. So by the time
it's coming out when I'm gonna give your hands up,
you need to have that account ready.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh I am, yes, I don't know today.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
You need to have it ready to tell you you
can't do this by yourself. You need your community to
step up and support you absolutely, because now you have
a bigger family that's willing to be there for you.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Absolutely, and that makes me so happy. That is one
of the joys. You know. I was nervous about saying
all of this, and to be honest with you, I
started my YouTube channel. Yeah, and I've always wanted a
YouTube channel. I've always wanted wanted the YouTube channel. And
my first video was about my father. It's about not
having a father growing up. And I wanted my first
(25:42):
video to be have substance to me about something. And
what inspired me was my hometown, which is Inskige in Michigan.
And they inspired me.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yeah, sout out the.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
They inspired me because it was a lot of killing
going on in my hometown, a lot of black young
kids with Diane and I'm like, people not even realizing
what they doing to these little girls. You know, little
girls without fathers are not protected, you know. And so
I was so nervous and so shy. And there was
(26:15):
actually another YouTuber who like I was like, Oh, I'm
not going to do this, and he's like, no, you
need to pick the camera up.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You need to do this, I'm telling you.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
And so shout out to Joe t. Baker because he's
one of the one of the YouTubers he does stories
and also if you haven't checked out Traps, go check
out Traps. He has a series on two B. But yes,
he was like, you should just do it, just do it,
pick it up. And I was like, I was trying
to find my niche and he was like, just post
a bunch of different videos and see what people like
(26:44):
want from you. And so yes, So I continue to
do that, and I'm happy I did. And I'm happy
I say consistent, and I wasn't even as consistent as
I wanted to be, but I'm happy that I stayed
the course because if I just gave up, I would
be talking to you right now because my story would
have never gotten out there.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
So I just want to say to any black queen,
whatever it is that you want to do is started.
You know, do it.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
You know.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
The only thing can happen is the lesson, because failure
is just the lesson and it's not doesn't mean you
have to give up.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
If your daughter was listening to this episode right now,
what do you want her to take away from from
y'all story? Because she is a part of your story.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Yes, oh my daughter was listening to her right now,
listening to me right now. I would tell her that
I love her. I would tell her that I am
fighting for her. I would tell her that I'm never
gonna stop fighting for her, and that everything that even
when she feels like maybe that I've forgotten or I'm
not focused on her, everything that I do is for
(27:48):
her and I can't wait to see her and that
she's beautiful and hold her head high. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Do you ever think about when the relation, when the
relationship starts, that it may be triggering for you.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
I've thought about that a lot. I think that it
won't be triggering for me. I think it will be
eye opening, and I think it will be a joy.
I'm so I don't want to go into the relationship
(28:21):
sad or like, oh you know this happened to us
and you're we are so, we are worriers. We are survive.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
What am we gonna do is survive and fight?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Okay, because one thing about it and two things for sure,
you were born at home. You didn't have to survive either,
so you strong. You are strong. So if you listen
to this, you got my book, my blood, and you
you strong.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yeah, you know, what's your relationship like with your mind
and your body today after everything you endure. Because I can,
I feel like and you obviously you gonna correct me,
but I can only imagine how challenging it may be
for you to navigate being intimate with other people.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
It has been a challenge. I feel like sexually, I've
never really been like, to be honest with you, I
didn't have an orgasm until I was like twenty eight.
Yeah and so, and I think, and I don't know
if that's normal for women or not, but I think
that is because I never really I've always had a
(29:24):
high sex drive, but never felt comfortable enough with people. Now,
don't get me wrong, it was always consensual with you know,
with the person I was with, But I felt like
I wasn't opening up. And I'm thinking like I felt
like me not dealing with all of this is the
reason why, because I had so much sexual trauma that
(29:50):
I didn't realize how much it did affect my sex life.
And I think that learning that I'm MISTAKEEO sexual too
like the one of the reasons why you are having
a hard time Because that man ain't he ain't on
your intellect, so you're trying to connect with somebody intertwined
with somebody who ain't even here with you, and everybody
(30:12):
don't need that, but for me to be fulfilled, I
need that peace first, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah. And then another thing that I love about your
story is how you spoke about your relationship with God.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Absolutely and you never.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Was angry with him. You always knew that he was
a pivotal role in your survival. Talk about that, because
you also during your story talk about how you was
like in a mental institution or something, and you were
saying how God needed the place you're there to confirm
that you were not crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:44):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And I tell you, baby.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Girl, when I tell you, that was the most humbling
experience I've ever had. So how I got there, that's
out there. How I got there. I was at the
hospital that is when she had just told me, like, hey,
(31:10):
you have to do an ssg F pregnancy test, do
to the damadusty. I don't know if you're going to
be able to have kids. Now. That was overwhelming information
for me because I always wanted to be a mother
and someone has taken a gift that guy has given
to me and I'm not even able to use it, like,
you know, I've just devastated. I started having a panic attack.
I called my dad's I call my grandmother. I'm crying,
(31:33):
I'm shaking. She said, I don't want you to drive.
I want you to sit and calm down first, because
you don't need to drive. So shaking up my phone,
but my phone dies. She calls the police to the
doctor's office because she thinks like, oh my goodness, I
don't want her. She's freaking out. So my phone ended
(31:54):
up cutting back on. I call my aunt and my
grandmother is together. At this point. They we go in
the room and they say, hey, she you know where.
We don't think she's gonna be able to have kids,
but she needs to take this test. And then they
printed off the documentation of Hey, she told me this
is what happened to her. That's exactly what I see
(32:16):
from the damage, you know, just you know, breaking everything
down to my grandmother and my aunt. I'm still freaking out.
I go to the hospital just to give my grandmother
a piece of mind. Get checked out. I go home.
I'm still I'm in the in the midst of this,
I'm working full time and I'm finishing up my associates degree.
I graduate in about six months at this point. So
(32:40):
I live alone too, and I'm in Kalamazoo, Michigan pretty
much by myself. So I'm having panic attacks. I'm having
anxiety attacks that I deal with high and extreme anxiety.
So I have anxiety attacks. And so they're like, okay,
I went to the hospital twice. The third time, they're like, okay,
(33:03):
if you're saying all these things happen to you, we
want you to get evaluated, not because we think something
is wrong with you.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
But how are you able to just deal with Oh?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Yeah, like how are you navigating right now? And so
I called my mom. My mom said she was going
to come out, and they said, okay, we're not going
to have you go to Like if your mom is
going to come here, we're not going to have you
go to any hospital. We have your mom come get
(33:33):
you and she can decide what. You know, you guys
can decide that together. So she says, no, I think
she should go. I think you guys should. So she agreed.
She they either said it's up to you. They told
it's up to you, and she said go ahead. So
now I'm angry that I'm thinking like, okay, maybe my
mom cares a little bit. She says, she's going to
(33:53):
come out here. You're only coming out here because you
know that I'm around professional speaking on things you don't
want me to speak about, so now you you know.
So AnyWho, I go there, I get there and they
put me in a room, take my shoe strings out
of my shoes, take my hairside out of my hair.
They're asking me all these questions, and I'm like, do
(34:14):
I want to kill myself? Which I've worked in a
as a police clerk before, so I know though that's protocol,
You're gonna have to ask those questions, right, But I'm
thinking to myself, I have a roommate. I know that
I'm not crazy, and I'm sitting like, how did I
go from being told that I can't have kids and
I'm telling my story to my story got me into
(34:35):
a psych ward Like I'm I'm not you know, Okay,
So they're like, your roommate is quiet. You know, she's
she's cool. But I'm thinking, like, girl, we is in
the psych ward. Ain't no, Ain't that much quiet in
the world right right? So? And I'm thinking like quiet
that means you wear. It is a little so I'm
looking around the room at what I can find if
(34:56):
she get a little out of hand.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I'm being right to protect yourself.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
So I told myself, I'm not sleeping in the room
with her because I don't know you, and you went
here for something I don't know. But I know I'm
not crazy right now. One of the reasons why I
was having the anxiety attacks and Panica taxes because I
was calling my family expressing how I feel, oh, you know,
making me feel like I was crazy. So now I'm
(35:22):
at home with no one to talk to, battling my
own thoughts, which is sending me into these because no
one just you know, is keeping it real. They want
me to think I'm crazy. So that's one of the
reasons why I feel like my mom said go ahead,
get there. I'm I didn't sleep in the room with
the girl. I stayed up. I didn't mind you. I'm
leaving the hospital to going to the cycle where like that.
(35:44):
I go there in the ambulance, so I barely got
any sleep, So I'm going on day two no sleep.
I get there that around four thirty, the doctors are leaving,
so they're like, we have to evaluate you. If we
evaluate you and you're good, will send you home. Oh
the doctors are gone. You have to wait till tomorrow,
So now I have to stay overnight. It's to the
(36:04):
point to where I'm blending in so good with the
staff that the patients that's asking me, can I go
get some water? Can I go? So even the staff
is like, why is she here? You know you don't
you know, you don't seem like you need to be
here at all. So at this time, I'm doing good
in school. I'm like, hey, I have a three point
(36:26):
five GPA, I am working full time. At the time,
I was working at a furniture store.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Nothing's wrong with me, nothing's wrong with me.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
And so I meet the doctor. Oh actually before the
doctor comes, my mom and my grandmother and my family
come up to the psych board and they're going off
and all of this, and they're like, well, you can't
see her until tomorrow. You know, visiting hours are over.
So they she causes a big scene. They end up
letting her come back. Me and her get into an
(36:56):
argument because I'm like, look, you're fucking with my school,
you're fucking with my my money. I was never supposed
to be in here anyway, and there's nothing wrong with me. No,
so she's trying to get me out a character. At
this point, the lady said, if there's anything that's wrong
with her, you caused it. They left. The doctor comes in,
(37:19):
he talks to me. He told me that he is
proud that I'm even navigating because there's so many women
that come in and out that have the same story.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Oh, that's what this story breaks a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
Yes, he said. He was giving me resources. He said,
I believe you a million percent. He said, I'm releasing
you today. Sent my professor's letters, you know, for my
so I can get my work, my job. He made
sure I was fine, and he said, I agree with
the front desk. Whatever is wrong, they caused it. You
(37:56):
don't need to be locked up in a psych wored
he said, if anything, you need out patient therapy, but
to be locked up and be restrained and not be
able to just go about your daily activities and what
you need to do. That doesn't need to happen. I
continued on, and I graduated twenty fifth and that was that.
And so but when I got home and honestly, being
(38:19):
in an environment like that it changes you. I didn't
even need to I can imagine how a prison is
because these people are people who don't get a choice
to walk out of the door. They have done things
to where like I had to fight my way up
out of there. I have to talk my way and
fight my way and out of there. Right. And so
(38:42):
I told myself every one my family, I'm talking to you,
you're crazy or crazy or crazy. God says, trust me,
trust you. You have to trust yourself first. If I
say these things happen to me, I remember these things.
I have a visual of these things, and my body's
speaking to me and the person on the phone. I
(39:03):
think the most fucked up thing that was messing me
up is these are people that I loved that like,
you're lying, you're crazy, you know? And this the Stopholm
syndromatics best because it's not even love, right. I was
taught to love you, not to tell on you, right,
and so, and then you're using drugs and you're doing
different things, and it's cloud in my memory. It's a
(39:23):
lot of things that go into play when it comes
to this. So just a lot, girl.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
We're almost finished. But one thing I was a little
confused on is how did the military get involved?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Okay, good question. So I lead the cycle word and
I say, God had to put me in a place
where people don't have a sound mind so I can
see visually. He know his child, he know I'm a
visual learner. He said, I have to show you what
crazy life so you can see you Okay, right, So
(40:04):
I said, okay, I'll get home. I pray, I get
myself together. I said, you know what, God, just to
put the cherry on top. I'm going to go to
the best polygraph examiner in Michigan. He has. He's been
a detective for over forty years. He's been through all
throughout the state of Michigan, all throughout the United States.
(40:24):
He's been on doctor Phield. His resume is out of
this world. And I said, I want Howard Swabash to
do my polygraph pass with flying colors. Go get the
documentation for my obg y N take it to the
Miskeigan Police Department. Also contact JAG, which is the police
(40:51):
the military police, and it goes from there. They fly
out a detective of legraph from the military shot flew
She flew out and we did an extensive interview. She
already came prepared. She did a lot of research before
meeting me, so she came with CPS cases that she found.
She came with old statements from teachers that she found,
(41:13):
so she there was things there. She also asked them
to take a polygraph. I paid for mine on my own.
This was outsourced. The military said they wanted to give
one to him because he's in the military, right and
they declined. They said they did not want to take one.
They declined, and so she said that they were going
(41:35):
to pick up the case. So she said that she
could not fully investigate the case because it happened in
Michigan and Muskegan. So she contacted the detectives in Muskegan.
I think it was Detective Anderson and Detective I'm not
sure it was three of them, but she said they
(41:57):
were going to work together so until the case was solved,
and then went to I was working with the Michigan
Police Department that whole summer. I moved to Texas, and
I think that is when they were like, I feel
like they kind of gave up on me in a sense,
because I'm like, I got to get to school, you know,
I'm trying to work this side, and they're like, oh,
(42:18):
you know, just go to school, you know, basically, just
move on from it, you know, just because they I
don't really feel like they wanted to investigate it. And
when I was talking to the detective, he wasn't really attentive.
He was like, cause, like I said, it was a
lot of murdering going on in my city. So he's like, no,
I'm not trying to be funny, but you know, this
just happened, and this just happened, and it just and so.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
It really made me pensitive. It is, and he's he
and this is why black and brown people don't come
out and tell their stories exactly.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
And so it was it was just a lot. And
so as I'm preparing to move, it was like they
were kind of waiting on that. Now I'm one of
the things. And if people don't know and you're from Michigan,
they chaff and adults of vile act. So that means
that just say, you are, you got raped and you're
(43:08):
rushing home to go tell your parents, and you get
in a car accident and move your memory and you
don't remember, and then you remember listening to Jagged Edge
on your way in that song, and it triggers you
and you remember, then you can still fight that. Yep,
you can still fight that with the Adults to Virus Act.
And then you have three years after you tell the
(43:29):
police to continue to fight it. So just say you
tell them about the story, and you you say, hell,
I don't really want to do it right now, you
have three years after the fact.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
So where's your stepfather at Now?
Speaker 3 (43:41):
He's still in the military, which everyone is wondering how
that even? How is that? So especially when his own
the military themselves asked him, Hey, we want to do
a polygraph. Now a Lugward did say she could not
force him to do one. She says, she believes me wholeheartedly,
but she could not force him to do one. Now,
how he's still active with these allegations with the polygraph
(44:03):
with him denying one, I don't know. And then we also,
I don't know if you saw mine. I think it's
in part three, my grandmother is admitting that he touched
one of his own kids.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
So, and how many kids does he have?
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Two?
Speaker 2 (44:18):
And does he have any with your mom?
Speaker 3 (44:21):
Two?
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Oh? Wow?
Speaker 3 (44:23):
So, yeah, it was a situation that happened that I'm
not going to disclose her name to protect my sister.
But she came home and she was about maybe three,
and she was pointing and saying things and three years old, yeah,
and I said she was. I said, didn't she come
home that day and say this? And she said, yeah,
he did. And so now I'm thinking to myself, and
(44:45):
I'm a kid myself. At she's three, I'm probably ten. Yeah,
I'm about ten, and so I'm only what third grade?
So I'm angry. I'm crying because i always wanted to
protect my sister's I'm a protector, that is me. I
may not be the oldest, but I've always wanted to protect.
(45:07):
And so we have an audio of her her admitting
that those are those things were saying. But you know,
it's not like she doesn't know, like my grandmother knows
about even the guy that my mom was in a
relationship previously to the man she's married to. Now that's
who my store, my sister's story is connected to. So
(45:27):
you know, in my mind, I even go to the
depth of thinking, did she say, Okay, I'll let him
touch your sister, So now I have to now it's
your turn type of deal, like.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
What was this or if I if it was done
to me, why you know, why it can't happen to you?
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Right, you know? And and that's why I don't respect him,
because it happened to me. And I can still open
my mouth and say whatever you know and say, hey,
this is not gonna happen. So where was your fight?
Where was your But then one would say, okay, she
had two kids eighteen months apart, probably going through some
(46:01):
type of post pardon, her family fucked up, and then
the person who tried to save her dies, her mental
state where is she now? I give my mother grace
during that time because I can only imagine falling in love,
having two kids, and then saying I love you, see
you when I get home, and then you die. So
(46:22):
I give her grace. But when I stopped giving her
grace is and I don't think I'll ever not give
her grace on that. But when you start having children,
getting remarried, going out, having a good time, you're navigating
well enough to be to know what you're doing, to
know what's right and wrong. So and even now, like
the fact that she's not standing with me said a
(46:44):
lot any other mother, that polygraph would have been enough.
Just the fact that you pass that would have been
enough to have me in a friendly how why you
know the obg yn. No, one's risking their license for you,
is risking their schooling, their license, their careers to lie
(47:04):
on these people, you know. So the documents that I have,
they're official, the people are official, and my truth is
not up for debate, you know.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, So what does forgiveness look like for you? Or
do you even want forgiveness at this point?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
You know? Forgiveness to me looks like moving on. Forgiveness
looks like moving on. I do not plan to mend
anything with these people. I do not plan to be
around them. It's pretty much they're nonexistent to me, and
I am moving on and I am healing. Forgiveness takes time.
(47:42):
It doesn't happen overnight, and due to the severity of
beat situations and everything that's happened, that's gonna take time.
So forgiveness right now to me just looks like moving
on and persevering through everything and continuing on to be successful.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Yeah. No, oh, I'm super proud of you, sus I'm
really in Despite that you've been through, you still look good,
brown skin for the wind like you in school, you're
handling your business like this would have really this has
broken a lot of people. So the fact that you
are still here in sound mind is it says a lot.
So you know you can give yourself some grace when
(48:20):
its certain things because you know it's it's hard out
here with you being a single woman, you figuring things out.
That's why you gotta get this gofund me account started
so we can support you.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
Absolutely, girl, I'm gonna do it as soon as we
get off. And I didn't want to see. I'm a
person that is headstrong, so I'm like, I'm not gonna
get on here. But now it's to the point to
where no, I probably should because dealing with especially because
I'm a woman, dealing with two men that are the parents,
is I need some type of like that's a lot
(48:51):
for me because I'm mad too, you know.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
And then i'd want We're gonna get you, at least
get you to have a relationship with your.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
Child exactly exactly. And I just want to say this
too to mothers. As an aunt, I'm not a mom yet,
but the closest thing as an aunt and as a woman,
always choose your kids because as they get older and you.
(49:20):
The fun parts is watching them have their own children's
in their own life and and just becoming something you
don't want to miss out on that. And a man
is got not guaranteed, but your child's love is always guaranteed.
So always choose your kids because guess what the way
(49:42):
God works is when you choose your kids, He's gonna
send you a man that chooses you. Because a man
that chooses you would never want your baby. If anything,
he gonna protect your baby. He ain't gonna want your daughter.
He gonna look he ain't even gonna look at her
like that. So choose your kids. And when you sacrifice that,
and when you when you two your kids and you
sacrifice that time go to school, get you a foundation,
(50:04):
get yourself together. If you don't like school, do hair,
just find something to help you set a foundation for
your kids. And I'm telling you God will send you
someone that is just for you and for the women
who are like me, who have a story like mine.
Don't give up, keep fighting. You are beautiful, you are strong.
(50:25):
Every day when I have a hard day, I look
myself in the mirror and I remind myself who I am,
who I am and I am a queen. I am
God's child, and no matter what happens to me in
this world, I am covered in the blood of Jesus Christ.
And so with that being said, no matter what I'm
going through, I strap my shoes on tight and I
walk out the door and I keep fighting. So that's
(50:46):
what you should.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Do, a man, what I'm talking about. Okay, I'm definitely
keep in contact with you. We are. I'm gonna definitely
support you and hopefully stay with you on your Journey's
who you can get your graduation from the quote unquote
air croach y'all the real TSU. Yes, you know, I'm
really looking forward to seeing how your story blossom because
(51:07):
I think you have a beautiful story and it's a
testament of how God has always been with you.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
So absolutely, and I just want to let everyone know. Two,
I do have a tour coming up, Okay. Yes, it's
with Terror Bream and so we'll be hitting a bunch
of different cities. So just make sure you guys look
on my YouTube or look on my Instagram channel for that.
Thank you Instagram. Yes, I definitely will.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
For sure if you come into the Tri State area,
let me know for sure, and I come out pull.
Speaker 3 (51:41):
Up most definitely, most definitely. Yes.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
Well, thank you so much, sus I really appreciate this,
and to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments,
or concerns, please make sure to email me a hello
at the PSG podcast dot com. I believe this conversation
was the epitome of what I always say about the
professional homegirl. You never know how your storyline could be
somebody else's lifeline. So until next time, everyone, Later, you
(52:06):
ain't gonna say bye.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Bye, bir I know if you was done with your closing,
but thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for
listening to my story. Make sure you follow me on
my social media. And again, if you're going through anything,
let me be in an inspiration and I will not
give up. I'll never give up. So if you don't
have anybody that you feel like you can look at
to inspire you, just keep watching me because I'm not
(52:30):
gonna stop.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Okay, period, period, later later. Pretty Private is a production
of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
(52:54):
to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate
the show, and you can connect with me on social
media at pretty private podcast
Host
Eboné Almon
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