August 3, 2022 • 44 mins
It’s a live taping at sea with Jonathan and Jaymes aboard their OUTbound cruise through Germany and the Netherlands! And it’s an all-inclusive event as J&J are joined by passengers of different generations sharing the advice they want to pass down to the next generation of our LGBTQ+ fam. From stories of a campfire, to a lunch at Marie Callendars, to a parade float of naked men…each experience is beautifully remindful of the importance of being true to yourself!
Grab your Hoochie Daddy Shorts because this is one love boat you won’t want to miss!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Pridecast with Jonathan Bennett James on I Heart Radio.
Welcome to podcast with Jonathan Mennett and my beautiful, beautiful husband,
James Vaughan. Hello, baby, how are you hi? Baby? I'm fantastic.
I'm on a cruise ship in the middle of almost
Netherlands now we're almost in that. We're in between Germany
(00:24):
and Netherlands. We're cruising up the river on Outbound with
all of our fellow outbounders for our gay Travel company
and fun have some of them here with us right
now where you guys at. This is a live taping.
This is Pridecast Live. This is the second live show
we've done, and it's really fun, Like we have a
blast doing these because it's it's nice to know that
(00:46):
all my jokes don't land, and when everyone's here, nobody laughs,
and so I am able to confirm that I'm not funny.
But it's nice to have because then like I'm not
the only one just looking actually going oh, listening in
their cars. Honey, No one is looking at No one's
listening to you. They're just looking at your legs. That's
what's happening on right now in this moment. No they're
under a table. Right, Uh huh, yeah, that's right. There's
(01:08):
no video elements of this man, but he's in short
short on purpose. I'm really really short short when the summer,
I know, let's talk about Huccie Daddy short season. Right,
there's Hucci Daddy short season where it's like a thing
where it was just the gaye doing it. Now the
streets are doing it. The sts are wearing the tiny
little booty shorts for summer to show off their thighs.
(01:29):
I don't know how I feel about it, because I
can't tell whose game straight anymore. When I walk down
the street and I'm looking at shorts and listen, the
legs are on display. The legs are out for looking.
They want you to look. The legs are on display.
Jack over here is literally hold up all the different
end scenes. He's like, five, did you say three inch?
In ze? Who's rocking the three? You can? You can?
You can speak, it's you can speak? How many? What
(01:52):
is your shorts in scene? What's your preferred in scene?
Six inch? Which is a weird one. No one wears
a six five or seven or nine? Do you make
those yourself? Okay? He buys, So what he does is
he buys a seven and he rides it high. That's
what he does, and that makes a six inch? Wait, alright,
so mine or a five inches? Anybody else got a
shorter in scene than a five inch? The en scene
(02:15):
of machures. He just said, would you brag about that
reason on a microphone? Okay? Right? Um? Kelly represented for
the girls. What are the girls wearing these days? For? Oh,
we got the girls over here yet? Oh yes, and
here as well? Let go what are the girls wearing
these days? Five? Seven? Nine is a prissy short, prissy
(02:42):
leg Yeah, nine is very long lesbian is like a
good booty short sometime like a like, uh, anyway, I
feel like you just made a cool lot gesture over there?
Is that is that is a cool lot sexy yet?
Or is that we not got to that yet? Gauchos,
(03:05):
because you know, like the shorts now are getting longer
and longer and looser and looser for the lgbt Q
plus folks. I mean James James has never not worn
a booty short, so I can't. I'm not the best judge.
Like all he wears our boy, Kelly is now standing up.
Kelly the dining room us. By the way, Kelly's got
a hot body, Kelly, are you single? Get okay, Kelly,
(03:28):
come over here real quick, come here, hot seat settee.
So we're set up in the dining room on the
back of the ship and we're at some some dining
room tables and we put one little seat in the front.
So Kelly, is it Kelly Balch or bulk Kelly? Kelly Balch,
(03:49):
photographer to the Star, photographer to the starts. She's a photographer.
Jordin very special person for us because she photographed are
her company photographed our wedding that was even in People magazine.
They did all of our video elements and it was
absolutely gorgeous and the best video we've ever seen. And
she's part of the queer community. And we just love
(04:11):
to raise everybody up in our community and work with
them and make our little uh make our little tribe,
and also plug their businesses always please y'all know I
am pro lgbt Q plus business anytime every time I can.
So um, if you get married, call our girl Kelly,
because then you know you were supporting within the alphabet mafia. Yes, yes,
my Instagram is Kelly Welch. I didn't say holler rado
(04:32):
aside her. Yeah, by the way, so let's talk about that. Single,
Let's talk about that. Let's talk about being single. So
we're single. Where are you from, Kelly, I'm from originally
from Palm Dell, but now I live in Los Angeles,
l a West Hollywood based a photographer owns a giant
photography company. This show was taken a turn, by the
way we now about seeing it brought some people and
(04:55):
to join us so we could do an episode on
the gay advice that we want to pass down to
the next generation because we have several generations in this room.
Which is a beautiful thing about our outbound cruises, that
we have this opportunity to have these conversations. And it's
already taking a turn. For Kelly is single and so cute.
She needs somebody. She needs to find somebody to lie.
Now you got on Instagram his whole family now actually
(05:17):
a beautiful family. I love every single body here. What's
it like? What's it what's it been like for you
on the cruise so far? Tell so many people always
like can girls come? Oh my god, it's so much fun.
I mean, it's all about intention and what you're looking for.
And I came here to actually just have fun and
connected everybody here. I've had all amazing conversations and connected
with and got half naked with a Kelly. Um. When
(05:40):
what decade were you born? And I'm not gonna ask
people their their birthday? What decade were you born in?
Right here at this table, and I would love to
get your perspective what it's been like for the ladies here. Um,
she was born probably seventy nine, right before that decade,
and we need to talk about that. My on a costume,
(06:00):
you were the decades night baby on our INSTAGRAMA Kelly
described describe and she's just gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, fine body.
She's here with her wife. Um, I see you got
some drool coming off? Are cheap if you can see
(06:23):
the eyes Kelly is making right now, Kelly's got some
flirty eyes going on. I mean, I'm single. Sorry, I
mean it's true. By now, I'm sure you jumped on
Kelly's Instagram to see what she looks like, so I'm
sure you're sliding in as well. Go ahead, um, hit
our girl Kelly up. Um, but obviously just know that
you will be screened by every single homosexual in this
(06:44):
room to make sure that you are good enough for
a girl, Kelly, before you go, what, okay, what's your
what are you looking for in love right now? What
you're perfect? Like if you say, oh, they got to
have a person to find um, they gotta have a
beautiful mind set and like just positive mindset. Okay, that's one. Yeah.
(07:04):
They also have to keep up with me. Okay, that's good.
You're very crazy and that's true. Great great photographer, but
nuts absolutely, sit absolutely, But you know what the best
ones are. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, a
good kind of crazy. And then yes, they have to
love themselves, oh one, because if you can't love yourself,
(07:29):
how the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Canna
get an amen? Oh my gosh. Okay, well, we're gonna
take a quick break and we come back. What are
we doing, James, we come back. We are talking to
our gay elders about what's that one piece of advice
that you went a hand down to this next generation
to make sure you know it. I wouldn't say elders,
(07:50):
we're saying we're talking to different generations. Generational gaze. Oh, yeah,
see everyone just left. Good job, be right back. All right,
(08:11):
we're back. And I have to clarify, it's not the
elderly gays, Chuck, it's our gay elders that have this
wonderful advice because the cool thing that happens on our
outbound cruises and we find ourselves in these conversations with
people where we learn a lot of stuff, and it's
really cool to hear people's stories of what their experience
has been like as a queer person versus ours. And
(08:33):
I just wanted a space where we could share these
and then I started talking to I was actually Brian,
I was talking to you at the bar and you
were saying all this. You were spitting some amazing stuff
at me, and I was like, we need to pass
this down and make sure this kind of stuff does
get passed down so the younger kids. We're talking about
the kids that the kids know what it was like.
(08:54):
But also, here's what we learned in all of our
life because we don't have gay parents, most of us
in our community, so we don't have that figure to
tell us, hey, here's what it's going to be like
for you. Here's what I learned being like you. So
let's take advantage of having this resource and do it. Yeah,
and it's it's what we're calling. Um, I wish I
knew then what I know now? The Gay History Edition?
(09:14):
Is that what we're calling I don't know, but I
kind of like my baby anything, I really like a
good title. So or we're calling it like, oh, advice
from people that have been there, done that that are
also gay and what I wish I told through. So
(09:35):
welcome back to this episode of pridecasts with our different
generations of queer, multi generational queer people saying what I
wish I had told myself. Yes, maybe very saying arms
up in glee that he figured out word out. Also,
if you're just joining us, which you probably fast forward
through the commercial, but we are in a boat right now,
(09:55):
cruising down the river headed to the Netherlands. In a boat,
you make it something like we're on a speed just
like bumping cruise run a river cruise from um, so
let's dive into this. We got a whole room full
of people people, are you at ya? So who who
has got that piece of advice that just you're a story?
(10:17):
You know what I should have said and how you
got there? Yeah, and you can also tell a story
about it. Everybody, Brian, Brian, everyone's point of you. Brian,
come over here. I'm so glad. First of all, it
give it up for Brian. Brian just wandered in barefoot,
probably just just got up from a nap. I appreciate
you coming in here, and I'm so glad you found
the bus today. We we almost lost you coming back
(10:41):
in Germany because confront the bush, but we we got him,
and I'm so glad we did. We adore you and
we love you, and I'm so happy you're here. Um.
You and I were just talking, were about two kids
and what they don't know. What is that thing to
you that that you were like? You know, kids, I
need you to know this. I think the most difficult
(11:04):
thing is to accept the fact of who you are
and regardless of what you've seen on TV or radio
or movies, you are a unique person. And once you
accept yourself, that's the biggest hurdle because one realizes other
(11:25):
people only have power if you give them that power.
If they don't. If you don't give them that power,
then they really can't hurt you, no matter what they say.
And so that's my bit of advice. Just remember who's
important to you and who's not important to you, and
(11:47):
live your life. There's so much in that because I
have it's beautiful that I could take away like three
nuggets from that, just one thing right there. I have
a friend that says, own yourself before they can own you.
That's right, and it's and it's very that giving you
credit on that because the genie my, but if you
own yourself, it's it's It was a thing. I think
it was like a family guy skit where sorry Ryan
(12:08):
secrets to put you on blast and they're part of
the Heart radio family. But when you had the highlights listen,
I had them too, so it but everyone would like
make fun of his highlights and his spray tan. Oh
my gosh, I had that too, and he started just
calling it out, No that that's that's streaks of great
and that yes, but he started making jokes about it
(12:30):
and let people know, oh I know what I'm doing, Like,
come on, you don't have power here, and you take
their power away when you do that. So that that
is such a beautiful thing to know about yourself because
so many of us in this room, I'm sure I'll
had that moment in our life where we were taught
that who we were was not okay, and you start
having all this self hate within yourself, and then it's
such a long journey to climb back up that ladder
(12:51):
to get to a place where you can say, no, no, no,
I was taught wrong. I had all the stuff to
beat me down. That was wrong. It's actually beautiful who
I am and I love who I am. So you
saying that you should get to that that place sooner
is listen, kids, that's that I would say, that's number one.
That is number one, and kids, adults, everybody. If you're
not there yet in your life, do whatever you need
(13:12):
to do. If if it's if it's therapy, if it's
if it's looking at that mirror and telling yourself you
love yourself it is, if it is finding your people
that see you for who you are and then love
you for that and help build you up. Please please
find it. You got it here in podcast we are here.
You know you can slide into our d m s.
You can call and me have the call in episodes,
because that that is Brian is the best advice. Thank
(13:33):
god you didn't miss the bus. What we've done about that.
And wait, thank god you're here, Brian. Now what is
what generation? What a decade were you born? Gonna ask
people that age. I'm just letting people know where this
advice is coming from. The early fifties. You were born
in the early fifties. One of the miracles of the fifties, Brian,
(13:54):
and one of the territories of the United States. Okay, Okay,
there we go. We're kind of narrowing it down, but
not but I like it. I like it. I like it.
Drop send your location. And then also, what is the
best part because we always talk about, yes, we always
we always talk about the hardest part about being gay, right,
(14:15):
the hardest part about being queer. What's the best part
about being part of the l g b t Q
plus community. There's so many It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun. You can be your authentic
self and you don't have to really conform because being gay,
you're not conforming anyway. But you can just be who
(14:37):
you are, and your friends can be who they are,
and everyone's so creative and accepting. Yes, yes, I mean
there was a time where uh, someone swished or words
and drag or mix their pronouns, and I was very
threatened by that. And then later on these people became
(14:59):
my friends, and I thought it wasn't their problem, it
was my problem. It was my problem. And so we
go into that more. I want to hear well, because
one accepts the stereotypes that you see on TV. And
I said, well, I don't want to cross dress, I
don't want to wear makeup, I don't wear heels, I
(15:20):
don't want to play with dolls, you know. And then
I realized, you don't have to be that, that's what
the stereotypes. You can be who you are. And I thought, you,
I don't know any gay people, but in fact, I
didn't know a ton of gay people. I just thought
they were nice people. And so in my practice I
(15:43):
roll model and when people asked me and I came out,
they said, oh, you know you're a doctor, and oh
you're gay. But you don't want to wear a dress.
I said, I've never wanted to wear a dress. But
then you know, you grow up in a and a
society and your parents generally aren't gay, so you're only
(16:03):
fed the stereotypes that you see, and you go, well,
I'm that, but I'm not. And I remember when I
came out to my parents. My mother said to me,
why did you choose that life? And I said, Mom,
who would choose that life? Not that it's bad, it's
just it's so complicated and you have to explain yourself.
(16:27):
And I said, the difference is when I see a
beautiful woman, I said, my she's beautiful. But when I
see a man, I lust after him. And that's the difference.
And you say, wow, he's hot. Yeah, exactly. And so
you know, like I said, I told my mom, um,
you know, during the war, the Japanese were incarcerated and
(16:51):
when someone said, hey, look there goes a jap and
I said, what did you think? She said yea, And
I said, that's exactly how I feel. I don't give
them any power. Yep, you don't. And it's the thing
of that I found when I first came out and
(17:12):
started going and it was my group of friends or
people that I knew and groups of friends that hang
out with. There was the stereotype where they would say, oh, like,
I like this guy, and then they would follow it
by he's super hot and he's not like gay, and
I go, what does that mean that he's not like gay?
And what he's not like gay, Like, he's not like
you know, he's like he's like a dude's or his masculine.
(17:34):
He's not gay. And I'm like, but what you're going
to do with him in the bedroom is pretty gay,
Like you're gay just because he might act different. And
I realized it was the you know, the a lot
of people in my age that had a problem with
screwed up what what masculinity was in their brains because
(17:55):
of so many years of just being subjected to different ideas,
and for them to be able to take that and
like put a negative connotation on someone because like, oh
he's too gay, I'm like, what is too gaming? Like,
there's no such thing as too gay to see that's
because that that comes from we thinking about self hate
and not accepting and being associated with the feminine, feminine side.
(18:19):
I have a little story. When I was in graduate school,
I sat next to a very handsome married man who
got a divorce and dated and dated, and we went
scuba diving and skiing together and come on adventure yes,
and we did everything together. And one day we were
(18:40):
walking to a Marie Calendars restaurant and two leather clones
walked out and we sat down. He goes, you know
those two guys. I go, yeah. He says they're gay,
and I said, really, how can you tell? He goes,
I can spot a gay man a mile away. Honey,
(19:05):
check your vision, Honey, check your vision. So that taught
me that we have to become more visible to be
accepted because we all know gay people, we just don't
know that they're gay because everyone was so closeted at
one time, and now it's very different, thank goodness. Being
more visible. That is hit the nail on the head.
(19:26):
That's why I we talk about some podcasts before, like Jonathan,
I don't want to just post pictures of us kissing
on Instagram. It's not that, but it's because of what
that means to me. Because the first time I ever
saw two guys kissing and the first time I ever
felt normal, was when someone sent a piece of hate
mail to our house when I was a kid. It
(19:46):
was a politician and it was two guys kissing in suits.
I remember it clear as day, and it said do
you want to see this on your streets? And I was, well,
yes I do. But that was that I was like
your hay mail. Actually He was the piece of visibility
that I needed to know that, oh my gosh, I'm
not alone, and there is hope for a connection, There
is hope for love, there is hope for someone else
(20:08):
for me, And so be as visible as you can.
You never know who was watching, who was looking at you,
who was taking inspiration from you. So Brian, just keep
being loud as hell like you are. I love give
it up for Brian. Yes, who was born in the
early fifties. That's some nuggets of advice kids that you
can't get anywhere else but here on podcasts. You know,
(20:29):
brend your mom is also a badass. I love that because,
even even though that didn't apply specifically to LGBTQ plus people,
for her to have that mentality and say that that,
I'm sure to put a power in you and and
a response in you. That has been very useful. Up
next to everybody wants Cliff to join the hot Seat Sea.
(20:50):
All right, Cliff, we we would love to get some
of your perspective because you have been so wise on
this ship. You can you can hit us with a
decade if you like. And so they're really really late
late fifties. Almost shouldn't consider it fifties, but legally it
is yes, yes, not anything like Brian's fifties. I'm like,
on the way, on the other side, we wouldn't have
(21:10):
even gone to college together or anytime there you go.
So so we'll call it light sixties. That's fifties light. Okay,
that works. That, that's right. So what's what's that piece
that you need the kids today? So I think that
the piece that I would tell kids that at some
(21:31):
point in your life you are going to no longer
live your life seeking the approval of others. So the
sooner that you stop seeking the approval of others, the
more authentic your life becomes. You can wait till your
sixty and start living your life without the approval of
(21:53):
others or sixteen. But the sooner you start living that
life authentically, you're gonna have true relationships. You will live
your truth. You will have true happiness, true joy, less disharmony,
less mental health issues. People around you will be inspired.
But I mean it happens to all of us. Eventually,
(22:14):
either either it's on our deathbed or or our parents
deathbed or friends, we start living authentically. So the sooner
you choose to do that, and stop seeking the approval
of others. The sooner your life becomes authentic. And for me, um,
it was forty okay and um at that point there
(22:38):
was a youthfulness that took me that you know, kind
of came over me. An energy, a light, a joy, happiness,
not so concerned with what people thought. And it's that
kind of thing or glow that people are drawn to.
(22:59):
And I can use myself as an example, the fact
that you pulled me up here. There's something about my
authenticness and realness. You're a little bit of a good time,
a little bit, you're beyond a good time, You're amazing.
And so when I look at young people like yourselves
who are living your tree people, yeah, yeah, people are
drawn to that. And I think the sooner you live
(23:20):
your authentic self and not worry about what other people think,
that joy comes. Do you find there's a difference, in
other words, for me, between you're coming out and then
you're you're I don't give a right there they If
you could find a way to align those, I think
you would save yourself a lot. But for me, I
know I came out and I remember that relief and
(23:42):
that joy and that ability to to not have to
beat myself and not worrying about hiding stuff. But I
still wasn't that person that when I would meet someone,
was was comfortable being fully myself. Coming out to yourself
and being authentic is is where that glow starts. But
you also there's a certain amount of screction you have
to have with family, with employers, in your business world
(24:05):
because everyone doesn't need to know whom you have sex with,
because we're talking about sex, and you can't confuse who
you have sex with with being authentic as as a person.
You know, if if um, if someone is being authentic
with themselves, then they know who they are right no
matter what's being said around them or how people feel,
(24:29):
or or their politics. But at the same time, you
also have to have a professionalism because I don't want
to know the sex life of all my coworkers or
the business partner, the mailman, or I don't need to
know that. But what I do need to know is
that they're being authentic about who they are. If I
asked you a question, I'm gonna get your truth. I'm
not gonna get what you want. What do you think
I may want to hear when you are honest with yourself.
(24:51):
It does allow to be a more honest person in
other places because we get we learned to lie as
as queer people when we're young, and it is kind
of hard to break that life cycle. And when you
finally get to that place where you can break that
life cycle, it is really beautiful because you know that
everything in your life is, as you say, lift authentic
and it's awesome. And since it's his pridecast, I think
(25:11):
it's fun to ask people, do you remember your first
pride you went to? Okay, if I'm gonna be truthful,
the first Pride of It I went to. I didn't
know that a Pride of It? Um, how were they
not showing there? But they're not showing the rainbow flag
was happened? Like, well know what it was was. I
(25:32):
was at a Pride of It, but I didn't know.
I didn't know what rainbow flags were, and so I
just had to be kind of told what, you know,
because I probably with other couples and it was probably
San Diego and we were there during Pride Week but
for a different reason. So it's like, what are all
these people doing here? And you know, because I just
(25:52):
saw people and I didn't realize that there was a
sexual connotation to everything. And then when there was rainbow flag,
someone explained to me what that was and said, oh,
it's a it's a gay pride event. Well, there was
a natural curiosity, and I don't tapped curiosity about oh,
gay people, but I didn't see anything that look gay
(26:13):
from where I was at. But if someone were to
take a picture and the FBI showed it to me, yeah,
fight of it in seven you know, I was yeah.
And then now that you look back and you go, oh, yeah,
that was a pride event, and then so the first
one I acknowledged that was probably the first. Well, I
would say the first time I felt pride. Was that
(26:35):
a big well, those big circuit parties in San Francisco
and town town Sending. It was probably twelve o'clock at
night and they were playing It's Rainy Men, and I
was in a crowd of shirtless men and I was
done with a curious game. I had made a decision
and I was dancing and jumping in the o my
arms in the air, and I said, okay, I am
(26:55):
so gay of my people, and I'm late to the party.
But they welcomed me in and so as the community
always will. When when was this? What year? Probably? Yes,
all right, I love that from seventy seven when you said, oh, okay,
what's going on here? To be like, okay, I'm what's
(27:19):
going on here? I love Ah, that's beautiful. Do you
remember your first one baby, when you had that moment? Like,
I am so go I was in I was in
the West it was it was the one in New York.
It was the West Village. And uh. It was the
year two thousand. I had just graduated from high school
and moved to New York City to make it as
(27:39):
an actress. And I had moved in and I was young,
I was hot, and you were going to tell me nothing.
I was ready to take Hollywood by storm and still
true though, And so I my friend Michael Lange told me.
He said, oh, gay prides this weekend. And I said,
(28:00):
what's that? And he said, I need you to wear
a tank top and come over me me to my
house at night. In the morning, we'll walk down together.
So I walked down with a group of him and
his friends. I went to my first gay pride and
remember rounding the corner and right as I did, a
giant float with half naked men in speedos and thongs dancing.
We're drove by, and I honestly not even a joke.
(28:22):
Was like out of a movie. It was like a
lue bad. It was for like it was for like
like gun oil or something. And I literally screamed, I
go what And I saw it. I remember, like, what
is this? This just happens like it was like when
Dorothy comes out of the house in munchkin Land and
She's like, what is all this? Like this happens in
(28:43):
the world, this exists, And that's that's my first Pride.
That was the first time I saw it, and I've
never left. I think I stayed there for like forty
hours straight, just on the streets dancing. God, it was amazing.
But you knew you were gay? Pride. We've had these conversations,
Oh I knew I was. Everyone goes, when did you
know you were gay? I say, when did you know
you were straight? That because ever since my friends were like,
(29:06):
look at these hot girls, I'm like, honey, I'm looking
at you like I knew out of the womb. So
for me, it's always been from the time that puberty hit,
when everyone else started liking girls, I started liking boys.
Yours was a lue bad. I don't know what. I
don't know what lube, but it was like gun oil something.
I know, you've shared your story, Cliff got up on that. Yeah,
(29:27):
I get it up for a cliff. I remember, Cliff,
y'all I've I've shared. We've shared a lot of our
lives with each other. So I felt I thought it
was going to be anything else but that. But yeah,
So mine was camping with my friend who we were
called J for anonymity purposes. But um, I knew I
was gay prior, like I had had other experiences and things. Um,
(29:50):
but we were camping teenagers, and uh, we were sitting
we made a fire and I'm sitting on this stump.
It's so vivid in my head and sitting a stump
and we're like just like doing that, like you know,
the eye contact thing, like you know, it's going a
little too long and it's a little weird because like,
how how are you trying to picture this? I was
(30:10):
in my teens, late late teens, lateeens. Um, and uh,
he just I remember came like charging, like I feel
like he levitated over the fire. We had made somehow
and it's like magical moment and just like leapt over
to me, knocked me off the stump, knocked me onto
my back, and just started kissing me. And that was
the first time I had ever kissed a guy. And
(30:31):
I remember in that moment going oh everything that I thought.
I was like, Okay, maybe it's maybe it's this phase
they're trying to tell me it is maybe like I'm
I'm teetering on the edge of of either or I
remember going, oh, this is this is this is what
it's supposed to feel like, this is magical. Oh my god,
(30:55):
I am what so gay and and I vivid as
can be and it was not a loup at it, Prid.
Is this why you always want to go camping? That's
exactly why I always want to go campaign. Okay, first,
I'll never go camping no matter what, even if I
didn't hear that story. But this is why you always
(31:16):
want to take me camping and build a fire. Now
I get it. Now, I get it all makes sense?
All right? Who wants to come up and get in
the hot seat. We have one more person to talk
about the stories and the things they want to share
in the advice they want to share. But first let's
take a quick break and we come back. We're gonna
be sharing one more piece of advice and talking about
ky history. Welcome back to Pridcast, your weekly dose of love, laughter,
(31:47):
and hopefully a little bit of inspiration and a reminder
to be proud of who you are. I'm Jonathan Minett,
joined by my husband James Vaughan. They've gotten this far
in the podcast. They know who they're listening to. Okay, anyways,
talked to Tony. Let's go, and so we now got
the spring chicken of the group, the spry young thing
(32:08):
that wanted to come up here as he was sitting
down and um mouth with a decade he was from
because he's feeling so youthful right now, Tony, welcome on up, buddy,
So welcome to this. This bit of gay advice is
coming from which decade early. Yes, if we could afford
(32:28):
the rights to my favorite hairspray song, Welcome to the Sixties,
I'd sing it, but we can't afford that, So go
right into it. You know. One of the things that
I've been listening to with all these wonderful people in
every decade is more so the future right. And I
have an incredible cousin who has a daughter who is transitioned,
(32:49):
and for me, it was not what I went through
because we've all gone through it. We all survived, right.
But also having a parent my cousin who sat down
with her daughter and said, whatever you are, I'm I
support you. And I told her, I actually sat her
down and I thanked her. I said, you know what,
(33:11):
you just remove so many hurdles that all of us
went through, mental stresses, the fences that we had to
jump over, the nights of drinking or trying to forget
who we were. You just remove that all from your
daughter and now it's just the support. So from me
(33:35):
and from all of us that had to do a
lot of hiding. It's wonderful to see the generations coming
forward and saying you don't have to hide anymore and
I will support you whatever you are. So I thanked her,
and she looked at me and she goes, why are
you thinking me? Because what I did, you're passing it on. Uh.
(33:57):
That's what's incredible. I love that because that shows you
that change is happening. That shows you that even if
you change one heart in mind, that one heart in
mind that's changed could completely change someone else's life. And
we talked about that a lot too, with like how
we saw it with our families, Like I saw family
in mine that was extremely homophobic to have a full
(34:20):
eighty uh at what I had to think about the
number one. I was like it started. I was like,
how far did they go? Well, well, I don't know
with with my with my big brother saying he wants
to do dragon like he might have gone one in
one eight on the where he's landed. Yeah, So but
it is those were hearts and minds that were changed
because of just me living my life authentically that they
(34:43):
now are are. I just remember, Jason, you knew this.
We were out of you were with us. Actually it
was the first time we went out in Richmond to
go see my family. And remember that guy that was
like a little bit of a mess. No he would say,
boom baby, no, no, no, not that one. That one
wasn't mess. He was there was there was a I
was just having a little bit of a rough time.
And somehow my big brother, my straight country asked big
(35:04):
brother befriended this guy, which he would have never ever
done before. But now, like loving me and seeing me
living my life authentically. He realized this person could maybe
use a friend and he felt like, oh, I I
kind of get this guy. Understand this guy, and they
developed this friendship on Facebook. And I remember my brother
sending me a screen capture one day of this guy
(35:25):
posted that he was having a little bit of a
rough spot, and my brother was like, Hey, I want
to be there for him. This is what he's going through.
I don't have the knowledge as a gay person to
be there for him. What can I say? What can
I do? How can I help? And I was like,
oh my gosh, I just I'm being so scared to
tell you I was gay. And then now we get
to fast forward ten years later and you are having
(35:45):
this moment where you want to help somebody else that's struggling.
I was just such a beautiful thing. And it was
all because one hearted mind was changed. He was so
right with that, Tony. That's the way it is. And
you know, I'm looking at a kaleidoscope of color here.
And we've all we've all have our stories, we all
have our history. We know what our challenges were, and
(36:06):
we've all succeeded so and we've overcome them. And now
we're here on a boat, on a ship in the
middle of between Germany and Netherlands with a whole bunch
of people of the same community that's all been through it.
And now like last night, we danced our faces last
night before we go. This was because we have these
theme nights on board. We got to explain that. So
(36:26):
each night we have like different themes, right, and so
last night's theme was if It's German Night, because we
were in Germany. So we all put on ridiculous German costumes,
some of us more ridiculous than others. That was a
hot dog actually, which was which was my favorite costume
by the way. And then we were we started as
(36:48):
some later hosing costumes and we had this German group
come on and perform. It was this whole like silly
little thing. But um my baby, then somehow, I sure
you've probably seen James's Instagram. I'm petrified to post it
on mine, But on James's Instagram there's a picture of me.
He found He found the the he found the ladies
(37:11):
costume basket with the blood pigtails and dove all the
way in. No one was aware and they just unannounced,
showed up in the room as miss Hidi Hoe. And
if I ever do drag, my name will be Heidi
Ho because it is the perfect persona for me. And
if you see the pictures on my Instagram, you will
realize why he should never do drag. Yes, and you're
welcome America. Such a handsome gentleman. But baby, oh my gosh,
(37:35):
have you seen you in drag? You you think I'm bad?
You look like like like the jolly green giant like sister. Listen,
drag is for everyone, and drag is what you make
of it. And just because we have found out that
my drag is not beautiful and illustrious and gorgeous and glamorous, No,
(37:56):
we have to go back and talk about the first
time you did drag at our friend Joe. Can I
get there? Can at least have my revelation? Oh my gosh,
it's like podcasting with a toddler. So what I was trying?
Even though I may have not been the beauty queen
that I always envisioned I would be in my head
when I finally did it, Um I was. I was
still glamorous in my own way. As soon as I
(38:17):
kicked them shoes off so I could walk and in
my first strut and the wind hit my hair, so
she wasn't beautiful. But listen in my head for that
three seconds while I was in cliff, you saw me
try to walk yesterday, those three seconds to where the
wind hit me just right, I was everything, and you
can't tell me no different. Okay, Now what do you
want to read me on? Was just gonna read you
on that, like that was what I was going to
(38:37):
read you on because when you did it for the
first time he put on heels, he was so excited
and he walked down the hallway. He's obsessed with drag.
He wanted to be so good at it. And when
he walked down the hallway and was feeling himself, you
know when you just watch your heart like your heart
just breaks and are like, oh, I know you want
to be really good at this. It's like any time
he hears me sing a Broadway song, it's the same feeling.
(39:00):
He's like, damn, I know, my baby wants to be
good at singing Broadway. He's just not. And I'm like,
I've a come to terms with that. But like the
first time he put on heels and walked down. My
heart just broke for him. And then once he did
kick off his shoes and realize he's more of like
a country bumpkin drag queen mea Messica Simpson, barefoot, jean shorts,
(39:23):
messy hair, that's who his character is. It was flawless.
Hair was not messy. That was a beautiful wig. That
was messy to you. I was just talking about your
normal hair. Uh nah, the one good thing. Anyway, I'm
still gonna do it. I'm still gonna find the right
person is gonna paint me, and the right person is
going to pad me, and the right person is gonna
be able to teach me how to get these giant
old feed him on into some heels. And I'm gonna
(39:45):
do it. And I'm gonna turn people out there that
are listening and look up James's feet. Stop asking my
shoe size, Stop asking his shoe size. It's a fourteen
and it's they're also there's the they're they're very interesting feet.
I'm just gonna say that that's one of the feet things.
Like people love it. We love it. People are like,
send me pictures of your feet, I'll pay you, and
I'm like, no, I'm not sending you pictures of my feet,
(40:06):
but how much are you willing to pay? Because maybe
so we would like to buy a new house. So
please d M James for pictures of his feet anyway,
So thank you so much for sharing that. What is
the best part about being gay? My husband? Oh, we
love that. And with that we thank you. Give it
(40:27):
up and to help us read this week's gay history,
we are bringing to the stage. Oh, you are bringing
Anita Row, Anita Drag Superstar, Palm Springs, very own Anita Row.
Sood morning, good morning, because you just handed her a
Wikipedia page to read. Yes, because we're talking about gay history.
(40:50):
Because we're on the boat so we don't have our
fabulous producers to help us with this stuff, and we
wanted to cover this Star Raymond. Everybody's not on this
with us right now as usual, So Jonathan ed up
Wikipedia and it's like, Hi, Anita, no rehearsal, just read
this Wikipedia entry. That's not even scripted for you, Anita.
It's it's gonna be great, you're gonna do let's play
the music. This week in Gay History is actually more
(41:12):
of a this month in Gay History. But it's so cool.
We wanted to share it with you. So Anita Rose,
drag superstar, who has been performing so well and so
wonderfully on this ship, please tell us what happened this
month in gay history. So, actually this month in it
was the very first Gay Games, Yes that's right. And
(41:33):
it was held in San Francisco, California, believe it or not.
And it was August to September five, Okay, explain it, um.
So basically it's a parallel to the Olympics, um, but
with all gay people, much more fabulous. And there was
thirteen hundred competitors from all over a hundred and seventies
(41:55):
cities globally participated in this and they were let's see. Uh,
I gotta read that Wikipedia girl, I know. Well the well,
the thing is that the event, the goal was to
promote the acceptance and inclusion of gays, lesbians, transgender athletes
in an athletic world and celebrities with the with their
abilities and their achievements. There you go. So this month
(42:18):
in gay history and nineteen eight two, we made the
Olympics way, we made the Olympics super dead because if
the original Olympics weren't gay enough, Thank you, Drag superstar
Anita Rose, look around having thank you for joining us.
Wait before we go, I want to shine my big
gay spotlight every week to our audience out there, you guys,
(42:41):
the live audiences. Here, we shinn our big gay spotlight
on somebody that we think is doing amazing things in
the community that we think people should know about. And
you know what, Anita, I'm shot him a big gay
spotlight on you this week, Anita Rose. Because Anita is
traveling internationally for the first time. We fell in love
with Anita because she hosts brunch in Palm Springs at
(43:02):
Oscars and it's absolutely phenomenal. And so we did a
German drag showcase where we went and brought our favorite
drag queens from Germany onto the ship to perform, and
Anita hosted the event. Did a Yodelin sensation little lip
sync thing that I've never seen anything quite like in
my life. And You're such a light. You have brought
(43:24):
such good energy to this ship and it's been so
fun having you here. So, Anita Rose, big a spotlight
on you this week. Baby. Go follow her on the Instagram.
It is I T s Dot Anita and we're working
with her on her content. It's gonna get better. We
need more drags anymore. All right, thanks so much for
joining us in here, everybody that joined us in the audience,
(43:48):
and thanks so much everybody for listening. My baby is
now playing with the headphones, which means his attention span
has quit, and so that is the end of It's
time to go see you next time, bas Law.
This is Pridecast with Jonathan Bennett James on I Heart Radio.
Welcome to podcast with Jonathan Mennett and my beautiful, beautiful husband,
James Vaughan. Hello, baby, how are you hi? Baby? I'm fantastic.
I'm on a cruise ship in the middle of almost
Netherlands now we're almost in that. We're in between Germany
(00:24):
and Netherlands. We're cruising up the river on Outbound with
all of our fellow outbounders for our gay Travel company
and fun have some of them here with us right
now where you guys at. This is a live taping.
This is Pridecast Live. This is the second live show
we've done, and it's really fun, Like we have a
blast doing these because it's it's nice to know that
(00:46):
all my jokes don't land, and when everyone's here, nobody laughs,
and so I am able to confirm that I'm not funny.
But it's nice to have because then like I'm not
the only one just looking actually going oh, listening in
their cars. Honey, No one is looking at No one's
listening to you. They're just looking at your legs. That's
what's happening on right now in this moment. No they're
under a table. Right, Uh huh, yeah, that's right. There's
(01:08):
no video elements of this man, but he's in short
short on purpose. I'm really really short short when the summer,
I know, let's talk about Huccie Daddy short season. Right,
there's Hucci Daddy short season where it's like a thing
where it was just the gaye doing it. Now the
streets are doing it. The sts are wearing the tiny
little booty shorts for summer to show off their thighs.
(01:29):
I don't know how I feel about it, because I
can't tell whose game straight anymore. When I walk down
the street and I'm looking at shorts and listen, the
legs are on display. The legs are out for looking.
They want you to look. The legs are on display.
Jack over here is literally hold up all the different
end scenes. He's like, five, did you say three inch?
In ze? Who's rocking the three? You can? You can?
You can speak, it's you can speak? How many? What
(01:52):
is your shorts in scene? What's your preferred in scene?
Six inch? Which is a weird one. No one wears
a six five or seven or nine? Do you make
those yourself? Okay? He buys, So what he does is
he buys a seven and he rides it high. That's
what he does, and that makes a six inch? Wait, alright,
so mine or a five inches? Anybody else got a
shorter in scene than a five inch? The en scene
(02:15):
of machures. He just said, would you brag about that
reason on a microphone? Okay? Right? Um? Kelly represented for
the girls. What are the girls wearing these days? For? Oh,
we got the girls over here yet? Oh yes, and
here as well? Let go what are the girls wearing
these days? Five? Seven? Nine is a prissy short, prissy
(02:42):
leg Yeah, nine is very long lesbian is like a
good booty short sometime like a like, uh, anyway, I
feel like you just made a cool lot gesture over there?
Is that is that is a cool lot sexy yet?
Or is that we not got to that yet? Gauchos,
(03:05):
because you know, like the shorts now are getting longer
and longer and looser and looser for the lgbt Q
plus folks. I mean James James has never not worn
a booty short, so I can't. I'm not the best judge.
Like all he wears our boy, Kelly is now standing up.
Kelly the dining room us. By the way, Kelly's got
a hot body, Kelly, are you single? Get okay, Kelly,
(03:28):
come over here real quick, come here, hot seat settee.
So we're set up in the dining room on the
back of the ship and we're at some some dining
room tables and we put one little seat in the front.
So Kelly, is it Kelly Balch or bulk Kelly? Kelly Balch,
(03:49):
photographer to the Star, photographer to the starts. She's a photographer.
Jordin very special person for us because she photographed are
her company photographed our wedding that was even in People magazine.
They did all of our video elements and it was
absolutely gorgeous and the best video we've ever seen. And
she's part of the queer community. And we just love
(04:11):
to raise everybody up in our community and work with
them and make our little uh make our little tribe,
and also plug their businesses always please y'all know I
am pro lgbt Q plus business anytime every time I can.
So um, if you get married, call our girl Kelly,
because then you know you were supporting within the alphabet mafia. Yes, yes,
my Instagram is Kelly Welch. I didn't say holler rado
(04:32):
aside her. Yeah, by the way, so let's talk about that. Single,
Let's talk about that. Let's talk about being single. So
we're single. Where are you from, Kelly, I'm from originally
from Palm Dell, but now I live in Los Angeles,
l a West Hollywood based a photographer owns a giant
photography company. This show was taken a turn, by the
way we now about seeing it brought some people and
(04:55):
to join us so we could do an episode on
the gay advice that we want to pass down to
the next generation because we have several generations in this room.
Which is a beautiful thing about our outbound cruises, that
we have this opportunity to have these conversations. And it's
already taking a turn. For Kelly is single and so cute.
She needs somebody. She needs to find somebody to lie.
Now you got on Instagram his whole family now actually
(05:17):
a beautiful family. I love every single body here. What's
it like? What's it what's it been like for you
on the cruise so far? Tell so many people always
like can girls come? Oh my god, it's so much fun.
I mean, it's all about intention and what you're looking for.
And I came here to actually just have fun and
connected everybody here. I've had all amazing conversations and connected
with and got half naked with a Kelly. Um. When
(05:40):
what decade were you born? And I'm not gonna ask
people their their birthday? What decade were you born in?
Right here at this table, and I would love to
get your perspective what it's been like for the ladies here. Um,
she was born probably seventy nine, right before that decade,
and we need to talk about that. My on a costume,
(06:00):
you were the decades night baby on our INSTAGRAMA Kelly
described describe and she's just gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, fine body.
She's here with her wife. Um, I see you got
some drool coming off? Are cheap if you can see
(06:23):
the eyes Kelly is making right now, Kelly's got some
flirty eyes going on. I mean, I'm single. Sorry, I
mean it's true. By now, I'm sure you jumped on
Kelly's Instagram to see what she looks like, so I'm
sure you're sliding in as well. Go ahead, um, hit
our girl Kelly up. Um, but obviously just know that
you will be screened by every single homosexual in this
(06:44):
room to make sure that you are good enough for
a girl, Kelly, before you go, what, okay, what's your
what are you looking for in love right now? What
you're perfect? Like if you say, oh, they got to
have a person to find um, they gotta have a
beautiful mind set and like just positive mindset. Okay, that's one. Yeah.
(07:04):
They also have to keep up with me. Okay, that's good.
You're very crazy and that's true. Great great photographer, but
nuts absolutely, sit absolutely, But you know what the best
ones are. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, a
good kind of crazy. And then yes, they have to
love themselves, oh one, because if you can't love yourself,
(07:29):
how the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Canna
get an amen? Oh my gosh. Okay, well, we're gonna
take a quick break and we come back. What are
we doing, James, we come back. We are talking to
our gay elders about what's that one piece of advice
that you went a hand down to this next generation
to make sure you know it. I wouldn't say elders,
(07:50):
we're saying we're talking to different generations. Generational gaze. Oh, yeah,
see everyone just left. Good job, be right back. All right,
(08:11):
we're back. And I have to clarify, it's not the
elderly gays, Chuck, it's our gay elders that have this
wonderful advice because the cool thing that happens on our
outbound cruises and we find ourselves in these conversations with
people where we learn a lot of stuff, and it's
really cool to hear people's stories of what their experience
has been like as a queer person versus ours. And
(08:33):
I just wanted a space where we could share these
and then I started talking to I was actually Brian,
I was talking to you at the bar and you
were saying all this. You were spitting some amazing stuff
at me, and I was like, we need to pass
this down and make sure this kind of stuff does
get passed down so the younger kids. We're talking about
the kids that the kids know what it was like.
(08:54):
But also, here's what we learned in all of our
life because we don't have gay parents, most of us
in our community, so we don't have that figure to
tell us, hey, here's what it's going to be like
for you. Here's what I learned being like you. So
let's take advantage of having this resource and do it. Yeah,
and it's it's what we're calling. Um, I wish I
knew then what I know now? The Gay History Edition?
(09:14):
Is that what we're calling I don't know, but I
kind of like my baby anything, I really like a
good title. So or we're calling it like, oh, advice
from people that have been there, done that that are
also gay and what I wish I told through. So
(09:35):
welcome back to this episode of pridecasts with our different
generations of queer, multi generational queer people saying what I
wish I had told myself. Yes, maybe very saying arms
up in glee that he figured out word out. Also,
if you're just joining us, which you probably fast forward
through the commercial, but we are in a boat right now,
(09:55):
cruising down the river headed to the Netherlands. In a boat,
you make it something like we're on a speed just
like bumping cruise run a river cruise from um, so
let's dive into this. We got a whole room full
of people people, are you at ya? So who who
has got that piece of advice that just you're a story?
(10:17):
You know what I should have said and how you
got there? Yeah, and you can also tell a story
about it. Everybody, Brian, Brian, everyone's point of you. Brian,
come over here. I'm so glad. First of all, it
give it up for Brian. Brian just wandered in barefoot,
probably just just got up from a nap. I appreciate
you coming in here, and I'm so glad you found
the bus today. We we almost lost you coming back
(10:41):
in Germany because confront the bush, but we we got him,
and I'm so glad we did. We adore you and
we love you, and I'm so happy you're here. Um.
You and I were just talking, were about two kids
and what they don't know. What is that thing to
you that that you were like? You know, kids, I
need you to know this. I think the most difficult
(11:04):
thing is to accept the fact of who you are
and regardless of what you've seen on TV or radio
or movies, you are a unique person. And once you
accept yourself, that's the biggest hurdle because one realizes other
(11:25):
people only have power if you give them that power.
If they don't. If you don't give them that power,
then they really can't hurt you, no matter what they say.
And so that's my bit of advice. Just remember who's
important to you and who's not important to you, and
(11:47):
live your life. There's so much in that because I
have it's beautiful that I could take away like three
nuggets from that, just one thing right there. I have
a friend that says, own yourself before they can own you.
That's right, and it's and it's very that giving you
credit on that because the genie my, but if you
own yourself, it's it's It was a thing. I think
it was like a family guy skit where sorry Ryan
(12:08):
secrets to put you on blast and they're part of
the Heart radio family. But when you had the highlights listen,
I had them too, so it but everyone would like
make fun of his highlights and his spray tan. Oh
my gosh, I had that too, and he started just
calling it out, No that that's that's streaks of great
and that yes, but he started making jokes about it
(12:30):
and let people know, oh I know what I'm doing, Like,
come on, you don't have power here, and you take
their power away when you do that. So that that
is such a beautiful thing to know about yourself because
so many of us in this room, I'm sure I'll
had that moment in our life where we were taught
that who we were was not okay, and you start
having all this self hate within yourself, and then it's
such a long journey to climb back up that ladder
(12:51):
to get to a place where you can say, no, no, no,
I was taught wrong. I had all the stuff to
beat me down. That was wrong. It's actually beautiful who
I am and I love who I am. So you
saying that you should get to that that place sooner
is listen, kids, that's that I would say, that's number one.
That is number one, and kids, adults, everybody. If you're
not there yet in your life, do whatever you need
(13:12):
to do. If if it's if it's therapy, if it's
if it's looking at that mirror and telling yourself you
love yourself it is, if it is finding your people
that see you for who you are and then love
you for that and help build you up. Please please
find it. You got it here in podcast we are here.
You know you can slide into our d m s.
You can call and me have the call in episodes,
because that that is Brian is the best advice. Thank
(13:33):
god you didn't miss the bus. What we've done about that.
And wait, thank god you're here, Brian. Now what is
what generation? What a decade were you born? Gonna ask
people that age. I'm just letting people know where this
advice is coming from. The early fifties. You were born
in the early fifties. One of the miracles of the fifties, Brian,
(13:54):
and one of the territories of the United States. Okay, Okay,
there we go. We're kind of narrowing it down, but
not but I like it. I like it. I like it.
Drop send your location. And then also, what is the
best part because we always talk about, yes, we always
we always talk about the hardest part about being gay, right,
(14:15):
the hardest part about being queer. What's the best part
about being part of the l g b t Q
plus community. There's so many It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun. You can be your authentic
self and you don't have to really conform because being gay,
you're not conforming anyway. But you can just be who
(14:37):
you are, and your friends can be who they are,
and everyone's so creative and accepting. Yes, yes, I mean
there was a time where uh, someone swished or words
and drag or mix their pronouns, and I was very
threatened by that. And then later on these people became
(14:59):
my friends, and I thought it wasn't their problem, it
was my problem. It was my problem. And so we
go into that more. I want to hear well, because
one accepts the stereotypes that you see on TV. And
I said, well, I don't want to cross dress, I
don't want to wear makeup, I don't wear heels, I
(15:20):
don't want to play with dolls, you know. And then
I realized, you don't have to be that, that's what
the stereotypes. You can be who you are. And I thought, you,
I don't know any gay people, but in fact, I
didn't know a ton of gay people. I just thought
they were nice people. And so in my practice I
(15:43):
roll model and when people asked me and I came out,
they said, oh, you know you're a doctor, and oh
you're gay. But you don't want to wear a dress.
I said, I've never wanted to wear a dress. But
then you know, you grow up in a and a
society and your parents generally aren't gay, so you're only
(16:03):
fed the stereotypes that you see, and you go, well,
I'm that, but I'm not. And I remember when I
came out to my parents. My mother said to me,
why did you choose that life? And I said, Mom,
who would choose that life? Not that it's bad, it's
just it's so complicated and you have to explain yourself.
(16:27):
And I said, the difference is when I see a
beautiful woman, I said, my she's beautiful. But when I
see a man, I lust after him. And that's the difference.
And you say, wow, he's hot. Yeah, exactly. And so
you know, like I said, I told my mom, um,
you know, during the war, the Japanese were incarcerated and
(16:51):
when someone said, hey, look there goes a jap and
I said, what did you think? She said yea, And
I said, that's exactly how I feel. I don't give
them any power. Yep, you don't. And it's the thing
of that I found when I first came out and
(17:12):
started going and it was my group of friends or
people that I knew and groups of friends that hang
out with. There was the stereotype where they would say, oh, like,
I like this guy, and then they would follow it
by he's super hot and he's not like gay, and
I go, what does that mean that he's not like gay?
And what he's not like gay, Like, he's not like
you know, he's like he's like a dude's or his masculine.
(17:34):
He's not gay. And I'm like, but what you're going
to do with him in the bedroom is pretty gay,
Like you're gay just because he might act different. And
I realized it was the you know, the a lot
of people in my age that had a problem with
screwed up what what masculinity was in their brains because
(17:55):
of so many years of just being subjected to different ideas,
and for them to be able to take that and
like put a negative connotation on someone because like, oh
he's too gay, I'm like, what is too gaming? Like,
there's no such thing as too gay to see that's
because that that comes from we thinking about self hate
and not accepting and being associated with the feminine, feminine side.
(18:19):
I have a little story. When I was in graduate school,
I sat next to a very handsome married man who
got a divorce and dated and dated, and we went
scuba diving and skiing together and come on adventure yes,
and we did everything together. And one day we were
(18:40):
walking to a Marie Calendars restaurant and two leather clones
walked out and we sat down. He goes, you know
those two guys. I go, yeah. He says they're gay,
and I said, really, how can you tell? He goes,
I can spot a gay man a mile away. Honey,
(19:05):
check your vision, Honey, check your vision. So that taught
me that we have to become more visible to be
accepted because we all know gay people, we just don't
know that they're gay because everyone was so closeted at
one time, and now it's very different, thank goodness. Being
more visible. That is hit the nail on the head.
(19:26):
That's why I we talk about some podcasts before, like Jonathan,
I don't want to just post pictures of us kissing
on Instagram. It's not that, but it's because of what
that means to me. Because the first time I ever
saw two guys kissing and the first time I ever
felt normal, was when someone sent a piece of hate
mail to our house when I was a kid. It
(19:46):
was a politician and it was two guys kissing in suits.
I remember it clear as day, and it said do
you want to see this on your streets? And I was, well,
yes I do. But that was that I was like
your hay mail. Actually He was the piece of visibility
that I needed to know that, oh my gosh, I'm
not alone, and there is hope for a connection, There
is hope for love, there is hope for someone else
(20:08):
for me, And so be as visible as you can.
You never know who was watching, who was looking at you,
who was taking inspiration from you. So Brian, just keep
being loud as hell like you are. I love give
it up for Brian. Yes, who was born in the
early fifties. That's some nuggets of advice kids that you
can't get anywhere else but here on podcasts. You know,
(20:29):
brend your mom is also a badass. I love that because,
even even though that didn't apply specifically to LGBTQ plus people,
for her to have that mentality and say that that,
I'm sure to put a power in you and and
a response in you. That has been very useful. Up
next to everybody wants Cliff to join the hot Seat Sea.
(20:50):
All right, Cliff, we we would love to get some
of your perspective because you have been so wise on
this ship. You can you can hit us with a
decade if you like. And so they're really really late
late fifties. Almost shouldn't consider it fifties, but legally it
is yes, yes, not anything like Brian's fifties. I'm like,
on the way, on the other side, we wouldn't have
(21:10):
even gone to college together or anytime there you go.
So so we'll call it light sixties. That's fifties light. Okay,
that works. That, that's right. So what's what's that piece
that you need the kids today? So I think that
the piece that I would tell kids that at some
(21:31):
point in your life you are going to no longer
live your life seeking the approval of others. So the
sooner that you stop seeking the approval of others, the
more authentic your life becomes. You can wait till your
sixty and start living your life without the approval of
(21:53):
others or sixteen. But the sooner you start living that
life authentically, you're gonna have true relationships. You will live
your truth. You will have true happiness, true joy, less disharmony,
less mental health issues. People around you will be inspired.
But I mean it happens to all of us. Eventually,
(22:14):
either either it's on our deathbed or or our parents
deathbed or friends, we start living authentically. So the sooner
you choose to do that, and stop seeking the approval
of others. The sooner your life becomes authentic. And for me, um,
it was forty okay and um at that point there
(22:38):
was a youthfulness that took me that you know, kind
of came over me. An energy, a light, a joy, happiness,
not so concerned with what people thought. And it's that
kind of thing or glow that people are drawn to.
(22:59):
And I can use myself as an example, the fact
that you pulled me up here. There's something about my
authenticness and realness. You're a little bit of a good time,
a little bit, you're beyond a good time, You're amazing.
And so when I look at young people like yourselves
who are living your tree people, yeah, yeah, people are
drawn to that. And I think the sooner you live
(23:20):
your authentic self and not worry about what other people think,
that joy comes. Do you find there's a difference, in
other words, for me, between you're coming out and then
you're you're I don't give a right there they If
you could find a way to align those, I think
you would save yourself a lot. But for me, I
know I came out and I remember that relief and
(23:42):
that joy and that ability to to not have to
beat myself and not worrying about hiding stuff. But I
still wasn't that person that when I would meet someone,
was was comfortable being fully myself. Coming out to yourself
and being authentic is is where that glow starts. But
you also there's a certain amount of screction you have
to have with family, with employers, in your business world
(24:05):
because everyone doesn't need to know whom you have sex with,
because we're talking about sex, and you can't confuse who
you have sex with with being authentic as as a person.
You know, if if um, if someone is being authentic
with themselves, then they know who they are right no
matter what's being said around them or how people feel,
(24:29):
or or their politics. But at the same time, you
also have to have a professionalism because I don't want
to know the sex life of all my coworkers or
the business partner, the mailman, or I don't need to
know that. But what I do need to know is
that they're being authentic about who they are. If I
asked you a question, I'm gonna get your truth. I'm
not gonna get what you want. What do you think
I may want to hear when you are honest with yourself.
(24:51):
It does allow to be a more honest person in
other places because we get we learned to lie as
as queer people when we're young, and it is kind
of hard to break that life cycle. And when you
finally get to that place where you can break that
life cycle, it is really beautiful because you know that
everything in your life is, as you say, lift authentic
and it's awesome. And since it's his pridecast, I think
(25:11):
it's fun to ask people, do you remember your first
pride you went to? Okay, if I'm gonna be truthful,
the first Pride of It I went to. I didn't
know that a Pride of It? Um, how were they
not showing there? But they're not showing the rainbow flag
was happened? Like, well know what it was was. I
(25:32):
was at a Pride of It, but I didn't know.
I didn't know what rainbow flags were, and so I
just had to be kind of told what, you know,
because I probably with other couples and it was probably
San Diego and we were there during Pride Week but
for a different reason. So it's like, what are all
these people doing here? And you know, because I just
(25:52):
saw people and I didn't realize that there was a
sexual connotation to everything. And then when there was rainbow flag,
someone explained to me what that was and said, oh,
it's a it's a gay pride event. Well, there was
a natural curiosity, and I don't tapped curiosity about oh,
gay people, but I didn't see anything that look gay
(26:13):
from where I was at. But if someone were to
take a picture and the FBI showed it to me, yeah,
fight of it in seven you know, I was yeah.
And then now that you look back and you go, oh, yeah,
that was a pride event, and then so the first
one I acknowledged that was probably the first. Well, I
would say the first time I felt pride. Was that
(26:35):
a big well, those big circuit parties in San Francisco
and town town Sending. It was probably twelve o'clock at
night and they were playing It's Rainy Men, and I
was in a crowd of shirtless men and I was
done with a curious game. I had made a decision
and I was dancing and jumping in the o my
arms in the air, and I said, okay, I am
(26:55):
so gay of my people, and I'm late to the party.
But they welcomed me in and so as the community
always will. When when was this? What year? Probably? Yes,
all right, I love that from seventy seven when you said, oh, okay,
what's going on here? To be like, okay, I'm what's
(27:19):
going on here? I love Ah, that's beautiful. Do you
remember your first one baby, when you had that moment? Like,
I am so go I was in I was in
the West it was it was the one in New York.
It was the West Village. And uh. It was the
year two thousand. I had just graduated from high school
and moved to New York City to make it as
(27:39):
an actress. And I had moved in and I was young,
I was hot, and you were going to tell me nothing.
I was ready to take Hollywood by storm and still
true though, And so I my friend Michael Lange told me.
He said, oh, gay prides this weekend. And I said,
(28:00):
what's that? And he said, I need you to wear
a tank top and come over me me to my
house at night. In the morning, we'll walk down together.
So I walked down with a group of him and
his friends. I went to my first gay pride and
remember rounding the corner and right as I did, a
giant float with half naked men in speedos and thongs dancing.
We're drove by, and I honestly not even a joke.
(28:22):
Was like out of a movie. It was like a
lue bad. It was for like it was for like
like gun oil or something. And I literally screamed, I
go what And I saw it. I remember, like, what
is this? This just happens like it was like when
Dorothy comes out of the house in munchkin Land and
She's like, what is all this? Like this happens in
(28:43):
the world, this exists, And that's that's my first Pride.
That was the first time I saw it, and I've
never left. I think I stayed there for like forty
hours straight, just on the streets dancing. God, it was amazing.
But you knew you were gay? Pride. We've had these conversations,
Oh I knew I was. Everyone goes, when did you
know you were gay? I say, when did you know
you were straight? That because ever since my friends were like,
(29:06):
look at these hot girls, I'm like, honey, I'm looking
at you like I knew out of the womb. So
for me, it's always been from the time that puberty hit,
when everyone else started liking girls, I started liking boys.
Yours was a lue bad. I don't know what. I
don't know what lube, but it was like gun oil something.
I know, you've shared your story, Cliff got up on that. Yeah,
(29:27):
I get it up for a cliff. I remember, Cliff,
y'all I've I've shared. We've shared a lot of our
lives with each other. So I felt I thought it
was going to be anything else but that. But yeah,
So mine was camping with my friend who we were
called J for anonymity purposes. But um, I knew I
was gay prior, like I had had other experiences and things. Um,
(29:50):
but we were camping teenagers, and uh, we were sitting
we made a fire and I'm sitting on this stump.
It's so vivid in my head and sitting a stump
and we're like just like doing that, like you know,
the eye contact thing, like you know, it's going a
little too long and it's a little weird because like,
how how are you trying to picture this? I was
(30:10):
in my teens, late late teens, lateeens. Um, and uh,
he just I remember came like charging, like I feel
like he levitated over the fire. We had made somehow
and it's like magical moment and just like leapt over
to me, knocked me off the stump, knocked me onto
my back, and just started kissing me. And that was
the first time I had ever kissed a guy. And
(30:31):
I remember in that moment going oh everything that I thought.
I was like, Okay, maybe it's maybe it's this phase
they're trying to tell me it is maybe like I'm
I'm teetering on the edge of of either or I
remember going, oh, this is this is this is what
it's supposed to feel like, this is magical. Oh my god,
(30:55):
I am what so gay and and I vivid as
can be and it was not a loup at it, Prid.
Is this why you always want to go camping? That's
exactly why I always want to go campaign. Okay, first,
I'll never go camping no matter what, even if I
didn't hear that story. But this is why you always
(31:16):
want to take me camping and build a fire. Now
I get it. Now, I get it all makes sense?
All right? Who wants to come up and get in
the hot seat. We have one more person to talk
about the stories and the things they want to share
in the advice they want to share. But first let's
take a quick break and we come back. We're gonna
be sharing one more piece of advice and talking about
ky history. Welcome back to Pridcast, your weekly dose of love, laughter,
(31:47):
and hopefully a little bit of inspiration and a reminder
to be proud of who you are. I'm Jonathan Minett,
joined by my husband James Vaughan. They've gotten this far
in the podcast. They know who they're listening to. Okay, anyways,
talked to Tony. Let's go, and so we now got
the spring chicken of the group, the spry young thing
(32:08):
that wanted to come up here as he was sitting
down and um mouth with a decade he was from
because he's feeling so youthful right now, Tony, welcome on up, buddy,
So welcome to this. This bit of gay advice is
coming from which decade early. Yes, if we could afford
(32:28):
the rights to my favorite hairspray song, Welcome to the Sixties,
I'd sing it, but we can't afford that, So go
right into it. You know. One of the things that
I've been listening to with all these wonderful people in
every decade is more so the future right. And I
have an incredible cousin who has a daughter who is transitioned,
(32:49):
and for me, it was not what I went through
because we've all gone through it. We all survived, right.
But also having a parent my cousin who sat down
with her daughter and said, whatever you are, I'm I
support you. And I told her, I actually sat her
down and I thanked her. I said, you know what,
(33:11):
you just remove so many hurdles that all of us
went through, mental stresses, the fences that we had to
jump over, the nights of drinking or trying to forget
who we were. You just remove that all from your
daughter and now it's just the support. So from me
(33:35):
and from all of us that had to do a
lot of hiding. It's wonderful to see the generations coming
forward and saying you don't have to hide anymore and
I will support you whatever you are. So I thanked her,
and she looked at me and she goes, why are
you thinking me? Because what I did, you're passing it on. Uh.
(33:57):
That's what's incredible. I love that because that shows you
that change is happening. That shows you that even if
you change one heart in mind, that one heart in
mind that's changed could completely change someone else's life. And
we talked about that a lot too, with like how
we saw it with our families, Like I saw family
in mine that was extremely homophobic to have a full
(34:20):
eighty uh at what I had to think about the
number one. I was like it started. I was like,
how far did they go? Well, well, I don't know
with with my with my big brother saying he wants
to do dragon like he might have gone one in
one eight on the where he's landed. Yeah, So but
it is those were hearts and minds that were changed
because of just me living my life authentically that they
(34:43):
now are are. I just remember, Jason, you knew this.
We were out of you were with us. Actually it
was the first time we went out in Richmond to
go see my family. And remember that guy that was
like a little bit of a mess. No he would say,
boom baby, no, no, no, not that one. That one
wasn't mess. He was there was there was a I
was just having a little bit of a rough time.
And somehow my big brother, my straight country asked big
(35:04):
brother befriended this guy, which he would have never ever
done before. But now, like loving me and seeing me
living my life authentically. He realized this person could maybe
use a friend and he felt like, oh, I I
kind of get this guy. Understand this guy, and they
developed this friendship on Facebook. And I remember my brother
sending me a screen capture one day of this guy
(35:25):
posted that he was having a little bit of a
rough spot, and my brother was like, Hey, I want
to be there for him. This is what he's going through.
I don't have the knowledge as a gay person to
be there for him. What can I say? What can
I do? How can I help? And I was like,
oh my gosh, I just I'm being so scared to
tell you I was gay. And then now we get
to fast forward ten years later and you are having
(35:45):
this moment where you want to help somebody else that's struggling.
I was just such a beautiful thing. And it was
all because one hearted mind was changed. He was so
right with that, Tony. That's the way it is. And
you know, I'm looking at a kaleidoscope of color here.
And we've all we've all have our stories, we all
have our history. We know what our challenges were, and
(36:06):
we've all succeeded so and we've overcome them. And now
we're here on a boat, on a ship in the
middle of between Germany and Netherlands with a whole bunch
of people of the same community that's all been through it.
And now like last night, we danced our faces last
night before we go. This was because we have these
theme nights on board. We got to explain that. So
(36:26):
each night we have like different themes, right, and so
last night's theme was if It's German Night, because we
were in Germany. So we all put on ridiculous German costumes,
some of us more ridiculous than others. That was a
hot dog actually, which was which was my favorite costume
by the way. And then we were we started as
(36:48):
some later hosing costumes and we had this German group
come on and perform. It was this whole like silly
little thing. But um my baby, then somehow, I sure
you've probably seen James's Instagram. I'm petrified to post it
on mine, But on James's Instagram there's a picture of me.
He found He found the the he found the ladies
(37:11):
costume basket with the blood pigtails and dove all the
way in. No one was aware and they just unannounced,
showed up in the room as miss Hidi Hoe. And
if I ever do drag, my name will be Heidi
Ho because it is the perfect persona for me. And
if you see the pictures on my Instagram, you will
realize why he should never do drag. Yes, and you're
welcome America. Such a handsome gentleman. But baby, oh my gosh,
(37:35):
have you seen you in drag? You you think I'm bad?
You look like like like the jolly green giant like sister. Listen,
drag is for everyone, and drag is what you make
of it. And just because we have found out that
my drag is not beautiful and illustrious and gorgeous and glamorous, No,
(37:56):
we have to go back and talk about the first
time you did drag at our friend Joe. Can I
get there? Can at least have my revelation? Oh my gosh,
it's like podcasting with a toddler. So what I was trying?
Even though I may have not been the beauty queen
that I always envisioned I would be in my head
when I finally did it, Um I was. I was
still glamorous in my own way. As soon as I
(38:17):
kicked them shoes off so I could walk and in
my first strut and the wind hit my hair, so
she wasn't beautiful. But listen in my head for that
three seconds while I was in cliff, you saw me
try to walk yesterday, those three seconds to where the
wind hit me just right, I was everything, and you
can't tell me no different. Okay, Now what do you
want to read me on? Was just gonna read you
on that, like that was what I was going to
(38:37):
read you on because when you did it for the
first time he put on heels, he was so excited
and he walked down the hallway. He's obsessed with drag.
He wanted to be so good at it. And when
he walked down the hallway and was feeling himself, you
know when you just watch your heart like your heart
just breaks and are like, oh, I know you want
to be really good at this. It's like any time
he hears me sing a Broadway song, it's the same feeling.
(39:00):
He's like, damn, I know, my baby wants to be
good at singing Broadway. He's just not. And I'm like,
I've a come to terms with that. But like the
first time he put on heels and walked down. My
heart just broke for him. And then once he did
kick off his shoes and realize he's more of like
a country bumpkin drag queen mea Messica Simpson, barefoot, jean shorts,
(39:23):
messy hair, that's who his character is. It was flawless.
Hair was not messy. That was a beautiful wig. That
was messy to you. I was just talking about your
normal hair. Uh nah, the one good thing. Anyway, I'm
still gonna do it. I'm still gonna find the right
person is gonna paint me, and the right person is
going to pad me, and the right person is gonna
be able to teach me how to get these giant
old feed him on into some heels. And I'm gonna
(39:45):
do it. And I'm gonna turn people out there that
are listening and look up James's feet. Stop asking my
shoe size, Stop asking his shoe size. It's a fourteen
and it's they're also there's the they're they're very interesting feet.
I'm just gonna say that that's one of the feet things.
Like people love it. We love it. People are like,
send me pictures of your feet, I'll pay you, and
I'm like, no, I'm not sending you pictures of my feet,
(40:06):
but how much are you willing to pay? Because maybe
so we would like to buy a new house. So
please d M James for pictures of his feet anyway,
So thank you so much for sharing that. What is
the best part about being gay? My husband? Oh, we
love that. And with that we thank you. Give it
(40:27):
up and to help us read this week's gay history,
we are bringing to the stage. Oh, you are bringing
Anita Row, Anita Drag Superstar, Palm Springs, very own Anita Row.
Sood morning, good morning, because you just handed her a
Wikipedia page to read. Yes, because we're talking about gay history.
(40:50):
Because we're on the boat so we don't have our
fabulous producers to help us with this stuff, and we
wanted to cover this Star Raymond. Everybody's not on this
with us right now as usual, So Jonathan ed up
Wikipedia and it's like, Hi, Anita, no rehearsal, just read
this Wikipedia entry. That's not even scripted for you, Anita.
It's it's gonna be great, you're gonna do let's play
the music. This week in Gay History is actually more
(41:12):
of a this month in Gay History. But it's so cool.
We wanted to share it with you. So Anita Rose,
drag superstar, who has been performing so well and so
wonderfully on this ship, please tell us what happened this
month in gay history. So, actually this month in it
was the very first Gay Games, Yes that's right. And
(41:33):
it was held in San Francisco, California, believe it or not.
And it was August to September five, Okay, explain it, um.
So basically it's a parallel to the Olympics, um, but
with all gay people, much more fabulous. And there was
thirteen hundred competitors from all over a hundred and seventies
(41:55):
cities globally participated in this and they were let's see. Uh,
I gotta read that Wikipedia girl, I know. Well the well,
the thing is that the event, the goal was to
promote the acceptance and inclusion of gays, lesbians, transgender athletes
in an athletic world and celebrities with the with their
abilities and their achievements. There you go. So this month
(42:18):
in gay history and nineteen eight two, we made the
Olympics way, we made the Olympics super dead because if
the original Olympics weren't gay enough, Thank you, Drag superstar
Anita Rose, look around having thank you for joining us.
Wait before we go, I want to shine my big
gay spotlight every week to our audience out there, you guys,
(42:41):
the live audiences. Here, we shinn our big gay spotlight
on somebody that we think is doing amazing things in
the community that we think people should know about. And
you know what, Anita, I'm shot him a big gay
spotlight on you this week, Anita Rose. Because Anita is
traveling internationally for the first time. We fell in love
with Anita because she hosts brunch in Palm Springs at
(43:02):
Oscars and it's absolutely phenomenal. And so we did a
German drag showcase where we went and brought our favorite
drag queens from Germany onto the ship to perform, and
Anita hosted the event. Did a Yodelin sensation little lip
sync thing that I've never seen anything quite like in
my life. And You're such a light. You have brought
(43:24):
such good energy to this ship and it's been so
fun having you here. So, Anita Rose, big a spotlight
on you this week. Baby. Go follow her on the Instagram.
It is I T s Dot Anita and we're working
with her on her content. It's gonna get better. We
need more drags anymore. All right, thanks so much for
joining us in here, everybody that joined us in the audience,
(43:48):
and thanks so much everybody for listening. My baby is
now playing with the headphones, which means his attention span
has quit, and so that is the end of It's
time to go see you next time, bas Law.
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