May 5, 2022 • 31 mins
A DNA test sends me down the rabbit hole of ancestry until I’m stuck with a dilemma that could change my life.
I don’t remember my grandparents. When their stories were told it meant nothing to me. A DNA test inspires me to discover my ancestry for myself until a sudden event changes my trajectory and presents a life-altering dilemma. What would you do with a 30-year head start?
If you like this episode, check out more from the 22 other creators who are also part of this journey.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to prodigy. My name is Lowell brilliant em Sorry,
my name is Lowell real lte real yante. I'm really
not sure how you're supposed to say it, but it's
one of the three Italian words I know. The others
are bunjorn no, and manga. I never gave it much
(00:24):
thought until people started asking me, is that really your name? Yeah,
it's not a pen name means brilliant in Italian. Because
I come from a long line of geniuses or narcissists,
we don't really look it in my opinion, but I'm
told we're Italian. My dad can speak it fluently. He
learned it from his parents while growing up in Brooklyn,
(00:46):
New York, which I imagine was like the beginning of
a sore case film. He would tell me stories about
his mom's loving hospitality, her wonderful cooking, and how quickly
she could remover shoe and fired at you if you
got out of line. It was less civilized time compared
to today's standards. The shoot throwing was one of many
(01:09):
stories my father would tell me. The passing of those
stories felt like school. They were mandated not by his
school board, but by the human need to pass things on.
Being Italian is a point of pride to my parents.
Every Christmas Eve I had the Dinner of the Seven
(01:30):
Fishes and boogie at the Italian American Club's Christmas party.
To this day, every time we go to an Italian restaurant,
my dad will find a reason to chat with the
owner while emphatically gesturing with his hands. On those occasions,
he'll bust out the absolute fanciest pronunciation. But it's familiar
(01:53):
to me. But to be honest, I never really cared
that much. I don't feel all that Italian. I was
born in the South. I don't own a single gold chain,
and my hair looks terrible when I slick it back.
But I can't cook. I'm not sure if cooking was
a genetic hand me down, but if it was, I
got it from my dad. He can whip up a
pasta dish to go with your second espresso in no
(02:15):
time at all. Stereotypes aside. I think I was born
just one too many generations removed. My grandparents all passed
away before I was old enough to remember them. They
didn't exactly leave behind many selfies. I have some old
photographs of Stiffly posed people I don't recognize in my
father's stories. Honestly, I don't even recall how they died,
(02:37):
but I know they're relatively young. I'm over here door
dash and Dunkin Donuts without any regard to what could
be lurking in my genetic code. This episode was sponsored
by twenty three in Me, and to be completely honest,
I don't really want to see the health report. I
never get sick, I'm not obese, I'm not charming, but
(02:58):
some women do appreciate my arms. Mentally, I feel pretty
decent about my health. Why mess with that? What if
there's something in there I can't control? It's the fear
of finding out the FOFO. It's fun to say. So
for this episode, maybe I'll just focus on the ancestry part.
I can connect with a third cousin that I'm not
(03:19):
sure if it's okay to be attracted to and learn
how to make mozzarella. Oh, I'm sorry, learn how to
make mozzarella. My name is Lowell and this is prodigy. Alright,
the reports are in time to find out if I'm
(03:40):
actually Italian or just short. Okay. It's broken down into
three main categories with several subcategories. I'm going around decimals here.
In the first category, I'm European and that is Italian,
mostly from Sicily, so my parents weren't lying and oh
look at this point two Jewish. That gives me a
(04:02):
few extra holidays. Next category is Western Asian and North African.
The subcategories are a bit of a mishmash, but the
main ones I see are Coptic, Egyptian, and Cypriot. I'm
not trying to say that I couldn't point those out
on a map, but luckily it shows you one. The
final category is point seven percent sub Saharan African, specifically Ghanaian,
(04:26):
Liberian and Sierra Leonion. That makes me curious how many
generations you have to go back to find that ancestor
probably not many, since each generation you go up by
multiples of two, two parents, four grandparents, eight great grandparents,
sixteen great great grandparents. If I go ten generations, there's
(04:46):
one thousand, twenty four people contributing to my d n A.
But anyway, I'm mostly Italian. I should probably call my
dad and hear one of those childhood stories I used
to ignore. We had a Levodes market, which was was
a chicken market. You're going on your pointed the chicken
would be alive, and then the guy would take it.
If this is where you want, let's gloat and then
(05:08):
put in the machine. They would boil your real hot machine,
take a little feathers off like a rotating machine, and
you they were your chicken packaged up there it. Oh
my god, that's how fresh. Yeah, that's that's good. Yeah
that was Do you think you would pick the chicken
he hated the most, or like our which one looked
the most delicious? Well, when you went to the roadies,
(05:31):
I don't know. My father always I never picked chicken.
One guy was like, oh wait, wait, let me pick
and you're like, all right, watch out for that guy.
How did your parents punish you? My mother was the one.
My father never hit us at all. He would threatened,
but you know then my mother would hit me with
a shoe and she'd come after me and she grabbed man.
(05:54):
You ran from her on the head where she had
these shoes like a slipper and it was wood inside
of it, like hitting someone with a bat on the head.
That's the harder self. And when she could throw it,
she was really really good at throwing it. He could
be like fifteen feet away and she hit you in
the head. She beat me with it. I mean she
(06:20):
was pretty, she was really, but we loved it. She
was someone that we absolutely loved, even though she loved
every one of us, five of us, and everyone that
knew her would love her. Anybody was invited to our house,
the guy would be the mailman, she'd invited to dinner. Anybody. Why.
(06:40):
She just liked to do nice things for people. She
was just very generous. That she was tough, but she
was very very generous what she did and how she
treated people. But the people like her, even a neighbors,
he just went to the very decent person. You're sick,
she brought to things. You know, she would take care
of you well, like clear things up a bit. It
(07:01):
turns out I'm a descendant of a kind and generous
woman that weaponized her footwear to beat her children better.
I wonder if twenty three and me will hear this,
or if they're spending all their time on Many Drivers episode. Oh,
getting a phone call from my sister. Hang on, Okay, yeah, hi,
go So my cousin Josie is visiting and she did
(07:22):
twenty three and me too. She wants to compare reports.
So I'm gonna hit record and open up the website
on my new custom built PC. Well you gotta get
the app, alright, fine, but better not send me fifty
entifications like door dash. That's how I just sent your
request or an invitation. I don't know what it's called
an invitation to share. Once you accept Lowell, we can
(07:45):
do a side by side. It is really amazing that
it knows like second called them once removed. Ye. Look,
you're like you're pretty Asian and me I guess Western
Ation and North Africa. That's like a lot more than
Josie is. So he is a lot more Arab Egyptian
(08:10):
and living Tine than I am. And one and a
half and he's six and a half. Yeah, and then
all this other stuff that I have. Zero's Northwestern Where
where were they're in West As They're pretty excited and
I'm kind of realizing why this is such a big
deal for families. I just got a Google math. So
(08:34):
this is so interesting. Jespine, you're like a super Neanderthal.
I am a what's that? From? Where? Said? You're just
as you're like five first out war that we are
pretty sure it's that makes sense. Well, it explains a lot.
Rachel's really neanderthal. You think I am check Rachel out.
(08:58):
So the neanderthal percentages are pretty funny because of how
the word is commonly used, but it doesn't actually mean
anything about Josie's intelligence, stature, or ability to make fire.
I could look at this, Oh day long, it's so fun. Josie.
How come there's no trait for you on your back
hair or your bald spot. I'm not saying that food Lowell.
(09:22):
We're both predisposed to weigh more than average. I don't
like that one. Oh man, that's a great laugh. But
she's wrong. Yours says predisposed to weigh more than average.
Mine says predisposed to weigh about average. Oh you're right.
(09:45):
Early hair loss. No you don't have hair low Yeah,
no I do. I do no early hair well. I
don't know what early is, but like around college, I
started to like get thinner, but I still have like
hair on my head, you know. Yeah, well it's not lucky.
And then your family God would be so terrible to
be bald. So Josie wants me to connect with other
(10:05):
family members that have done it too, call Phil and
tell him to accept Send Phil and invitation. I've never
called Phil before him, I've never texted. I'm don't even
know if it is he in the app, I'm not.
I don't know his number like in the message group.
You know how I message you just now the other
number on there. So he's done it. So I sent
(10:27):
Phil a request to connect and sign off. The next night,
I get a phone call, but it's not Phil. It's
my brother and sister. One side of my dad's face
was drooping, so my mom took him to the hospital.
I've been dreading a call like this. Losing a dog
last year tore me apart with grief. I don't know
how the process losing my father. Thankfully, it seems like
(10:50):
he's doing okay, but they're keeping him in the hospital
so they can run some more scans. My mom goes
home for the night and my dad doesn't have a charger,
so we can't reach him. He's probably resting, but I
can't shake the thought that he's alone. The next day,
my dad gets his charger and I have a brief
chat with him. His speech is a bit slurred, but
he's in good spirits. He gets excited telling me about
(11:11):
a Netflix show he's watching, and I can hear a
speech clear a bit. He's gonna be all right. We'll
keep him another day for scans and then he can
go home. Josie's mom had a stroke too. Is that
my fate? Is it inevitable? And I should just say
screw it and continue to live care free? Where can
I prevent or delay it? Well, it's probably time I
(11:34):
look at my health report. My last physical showed high
L d L cholesterol, so it wasn't much of a
surprise to see an increased likelihood for that and coronary
artery disease, which is what led to my father's stroke.
I can't do anything for my dad at the moment,
so I decided to call Phil. His mom is my
dad's sister, aunt, Josephine. How you been. I've been well,
(11:57):
how about you? But before we started, how is your father? Oh?
He's good, but yeah, I guess he had like a
mild stroke or whatnot because of you know, like a
blockage in the heart, and they're considering right now whether
they have it cleared out surgically. April thinks he should
do it. Your mother and father are still considering it.
That's my information. Do you have any more? No, that
(12:19):
was that's the same information that I have, because I
guess the question is like, well, my dad actually changes
diet and exercise and stuff, or from what he tells
me he has such a great diet vegan or vegetarian vegan. Yeah,
well he does, but then he'll also you know, it
goes off. Yeah, you know what, I do the same thing.
(12:44):
My fear is that it's the same age as an
angela having a stroke. Yeah, I did the like the
twenty three and me plus one, and it has an
increased likelihood for coronary artery disease. And that I mean,
I guess you know leak and lead to stroke and
what do you what do you look at to avoid that?
(13:05):
I mean, do you look at your cholesterol? I don't know,
that's a good question. I mean, what do you feel
so you have a chance of getting cornered, like a
chance higher than the average population. I think, so what
do you do between now and seventy to prevent that?
I'm on web MD actually for how to prevent um
(13:26):
this end stroke and it says, you know, eat a
balanced diet, cut back on sodium, sugar, and saturated fat.
And I think sugar was a tough one for my dad. Yeah,
this just says like exercise healthy weight. Um, you know
he's not super overweight now, but he was always overweight
like his entire life. You know, you've always been thin,
right the end of how you how you're judging me
(13:53):
compared to who for this family? Yet in this family
I would be considered thin. I have quite a bit
of Neanderthal Wait, more than you. Jessie has a lot,
so it's gonna make fun of her. But oh, what
does she really Josie? Yeah you get that from Uncle Bill. Yeah,
(14:17):
you have eleven percent more than everybody else. Why are
we so in neander Result? I mean I feel it
feels like an insult. Why well, you know the the
connotation of the word, you know, because you're a caveman. Yeah, right,
like you're like thin? I go commercial, Yeah pretty much?
Do you guys have anyone with like a d h
(14:38):
D decided you and me? Do you? It's like do
you and me? Right? Yeah? I guess have you been diagnosed?
Paying attention? These are the jokes. I don't do anything.
I can't say for sure that somebody in our family
has been like like that. Yeah, my father, Oh yeah,
(14:58):
you know I'm always looking down too younger than me.
Your your father has it. Yeah, he hasn't touch them.
And he he does like to touch everything, and he doesn't.
He bounces around quite a bit, a touch of it.
He likes to touch everything, touch everything. One time I
was traveling with your father, I just had We went
(15:19):
to the keys together in my it was a fairly
brand new truck of mine, and we stopped at the
rest stop, and your father thought would be a good
idea to take that you know that dirty window cleaner
by the side of the game, Yes, and washed the
clean the window. But but on the inside of the truck. No,
(15:40):
I can't believe that. Yeah, I tread to God, I'm
pumping against Mexican and it's dripping on my dash. You know,
all that chemicals and the bug parts. What are you
doing inside the inside? Did Rachel like connecting with people?
Why did she buy a you a test? She brought
(16:03):
me a test because I answered by me a test.
I said, you know, that would be a good Christmas
gift for me. So I wanted to do it, and
I didn't want to spend the money, so that would
be I thought it was a good idea, and what
got me interested in it was the fact that she
told me that she was fifty Italian. So I said, well,
for you to be fifty time, I need to be
a hundred percent Italian. I'm not sure exactly how the
(16:27):
science works, but I was close to a but not fully. Yeah.
I guess it's it's like some kind of recombination. I
think um or maybe her mom had like, you know,
some Italian Yeah, like just anymore. My dad told me
(16:50):
he stayed at Phil's house once and there was no
food in the fridge. That story made me think that
Phil couldn't control his late night ice cream cravings, but
turns out he does interminute fasting. I sleep better when
I fast, then when i'm when when I want to
eat a lot and I get in the bed and
then my body i'm hot. You want to see something
(17:10):
of making you fast and go to bed. You need
to blankets. You eat all day. You can't have the
sheet on you when I break that thirty six hours.
This is I had to find this out. The hard
way is that if you go forty eight hours and
then eat, you better be you better be by a bathroom. Yeah,
(17:39):
it seems like you've really focused on being thin. And
how did you get into it? Oh? Because I think
it looks better Vanity. That is a motivator though. Yeah,
that's the same with me. I just wanted to get
ripped so I could get lots of girls. You ain't
a rock star, so that's rocks on. You ain't rich,
so you got going for you. I appreciate it. Thanks
(18:03):
having good one, Phil, Bye bye bye. Remember Josie. Her
brother is my cousin Arnold. He's this crazy talented video guy.
His mom was my dad's sister, Aunt Angela, and also
suffered from strokes. So I rang them up. Actually, this
isn't a phone call because Arnold is one of those
lovely guests that knows their audio. Whoa, whoa and relax,
(18:32):
be a Google. H Uh. Your your mom had a
stroke too, right? She had a lot? Yeah, well she
had one massive stroke. Um. She was driving the when
she lived in the villages. She lived near Uncle Jerry
and at lou and she was I don't know if
(18:53):
she was going to the grocery store or something in
the middle of the day and she had a stroke
and ran through a red light and t boned another car.
So she got into a really bad accident and she
called Uncle Jerry, and Uncle Jerry came and picked her up,
and he thought she was just you know, shaken up
(19:14):
from the accident, so he brought her back to his
house and she kind of stayed there and at dinner,
this is a couple hours later, she was talking to
him and she just kind of fell out of her
chair onto the floor. That was when Uncle Jerry said, up,
we're going to the hospital. So at the hospital they
(19:37):
were like, no, you've had a quite a massive stroke. Actually, um,
which isn't you know? It's if they had known that
she had had a stroke and taken her to the hospital,
there would have been less damage done. I guess right, um,
from what I've read about strokes, as you have like
you know, a couple hours to you know, do some
(19:59):
massive oxygen intervention and there's some other drug that they
can give you two burst up blood clots and whatnot. Yeah,
So I mean, really, if you know that you've had
a stroke or even suspect, getting to the hospitals like
the best thing that you can do. It's a horrible
thing that you know, when something happens to your parents
(20:20):
and you know, here, there, here, and then they go
down to here and they never quite make it back
up to here. So this is the new baseline, and
then the new baseline, and then the new baseline. Did
ever make you think about like your own health and
uh like trying to avoid something similar happening to you? Yes, yeah,
(20:43):
absolutely so. My mom was not a fan of her
medication whatever that. You know, the side effects probably were
not fun. I'm guessing I don't think it was that bad.
I don't. I remember just at one point her telling
me like, oh, no, I've decided I'm gonna cure myself
(21:05):
with eating plants, Like, oh, yeah, that's great. Mom, don't
don't you know why would you listen to medicine where
they can make sure that you know, because you know,
she had um type two diabetes I think it was,
and she was supposed to take whatever that medicine was,
(21:25):
and she just decided one day she was going to
stop doing it. And so I make you know, I'll
tell you that, after seeing how my mom went downhill,
I'm pretty serious about making sure I get to the
doctor at least once a year for physical you know,
get the blood work, what you know. But I'm only
fifty and you know, nothing really major has happened to
(21:48):
me health wise. I'd imagine that that first health scare
will probably do more for me than it maybe did
for my mom. I don't know. Growing up, of the
five siblings, Uncle Jerry, Uncle Anthony, aunt Josephine, and my
mom all lived within four hours of each other. Your
(22:12):
dad moved away to North Carolina, so we would only
see him like once or twice a year, and it
was always like, you know, Fourth of July or Christmas.
All of the children of Jerry, Josephine, Anthony, and Angela
would see each other almost like a monthly basis. So
(22:33):
I would constantly see tons of people that I was
related to and have that familial bond. And I would
get to see you know, you, April and Frederick once
or twice a year, and that was about it. Our
cousin Tom. I saw Tom every other weekend until I
(22:56):
was fifteen years old, so you know, he and I
had a tight bond. We were we're you know, six
months apart, and I saw him all the time. He
lives right down the street from me. Now, actually, oh
that's great. I hope you get to see him a lot. Yeah, yeah,
like twice a year. Tom's dad is my uncle, Jerry. Wow. Okay,
(23:23):
I literally just made that connection Tom and Jerry. God.
I bet they hate that his parents are older than mine,
but neither of them has had a stroke. They lived
ten hours away in Florida and Tom was older, so
I saw him maybe three times while growing up. A
few years ago, I bought a house in the same
area of Atlanta as him, Decatur. It's not uncommon for
(23:45):
me to meet someone and get asked, are you related?
To talk to Tom. He's so nice. He's their eye doctor,
and they probably see him about as much as I do.
Since I need something from him, I figured it was
a good time to reconnect. Asked him to bring over
his lovely part or Denise to fact check him. And
because she gives me compliments. Here she is telling me
(24:05):
about an open DNA database and then I can take
your code and your code and plug it in and
they'll cross reference everything and I'll say either we have
matches in common or we don't have any matches. So
like that should be built into dating apps, right, absolutely, right,
I think of that. Everybody's probably distantly related that everybody
(24:30):
that creeps health is a perpetual concern of my parents
because they are very healthy and they you know, now
my brother has gotten much healthier, but I am still
very overweight. So they've tried various ways to incentivize me
and Denise to you know, lose weight. The latest was like,
(24:50):
you know, we'll give you some money for a personal trainer.
I would love that, but I feel like, first I
need to you know, lose weight before I start exercising.
But you don't think that that's really the most important
thing when it comes to like long term health, right, Yeah,
So I guess that My feeling is that something's going
to catch up to every one of us eventually, sooner
(25:12):
or later. So I had, you know, appendicitis, you know,
all things considered, that really was not something that was
to life threatening. So I feel like, if that's the
worst that happens to me, well, you know, that won't
be the worst. But like I guess, the idea is
that over time, all the little things add up. I
think he's under selling it by saying it wasn't life threatening,
(25:34):
because if you saw the thought up that we had
to do, and the medicine that we had to give you.
What not say that, Well, your side of the family
is like always in such like positive spirits. You're not
thinking it that good. I'm just thinking maybe you do
if you think that that's part of it too. Yeah,
I think, um, you know, seeing a therapist on a
regular basis, I think that's contributed a huge amount friendships
(25:59):
as well as your you know, your partner family is
like super important. And you think my mom nagged my
dad into this strip? Okay, I'm sorry. Now I'm just
gonna say that I think that's something that like I
took for granted when I was younger, and now I'd
take that, take it a little bit more seriously and
(26:20):
probably still not the best of keeping up relationships, but
better hopefully. You know, it's my personally held belief that
we should not hang around on this earth too long
that you know, seventy five and out is I'm believe,
big believer in that. Um So he says that, and
(26:46):
he's like, wait, so maybe not be euthanized, but like, yeah,
enjoy the amount of time you have here on this
earth and then call it a day. My dad's home
from the hospital and he's feeling better, so let's check
in on them. Hey, Hey, how's it going? Okay, how
are you doing good? Uh? Can you hear me? Okay? Yeah, good, perfectly.
(27:12):
Does it make you like I want to change here? Yeah?
Of course I would have gone totally planted more than
I look at plant based eating more. I think that's
a solution not to do. But I've always backed out
of it. Well, I mean you put it all on
plant based, but like, I mean, what about like, you know,
losing weight and stuff. Yeah, well that's that basically the
(27:34):
same idea, right, Well is it? Well if your plant based,
great because it's like putting on this idea of plant
based as opposed to be like I need a you know,
blues weight and need less high stuff high and cholesterol.
You know that too, Yeah, you don't want any cholesterol.
A little cholesterol is possible. So NER's cholesterol comes from
(27:55):
animal products you don't know, probably in cholesterol. And the
worst thing I have surgery, you cold blodder. That was
he was laparoscopic, was really really it's great, she said, Pete, Pete.
If you pique up, Pete, she said, go home. That
went home. I couldn't pee anymore, so he sent me
to the hospital. And what happens is when you get older,
(28:16):
sometimes you're bladder goes to sleep with the anesthesia and
doesn't work up so you can't pee's going in and
get a freaking Catherine. That's disgusting. That was really painful.
Are you in the bathroom right now? Yeah, because I'm
recording this conversation. Oh are you what stuff would you
(28:38):
have done or do you think would have been good?
Like to do differently, like in a preventative way to
avoid this. Yeah, go to watch what they eat. Watched
a whole lot more what I ate, but the words
he just can't eat five foods and cracked Hamburgs, and
I be careful what I ate. I mean, this just
catches up with you over years. Especially if I knew
(29:01):
that I was more subjective to this, then I would
have came more careful, and I wasn't. I was just
eating everything. Sometimes I get good and be careful and
then sometimes I just eat don't kind of shift. Yeah,
So you think the knowledge, like knowing beforehand, would have
made a difference. Sure would, of course it would have. Well,
(29:21):
I'm glad you're doing okay, and let me know what
they say all right. Okay, so my dad's doing better.
He's not dead or a different person, but he has
to take his health deadly serious. Now. There is zero
room for error or that stroke will be the first
(29:42):
of many. It happened to his sister, and according to
my last physical and my DNA test report, I have
the same dilemma. So it's pretty obvious what I need
to do. Right, Let's go back to what my cousin said.
Phil probably needs his own podcast. He's a areas He
focuses on staying thin and intermitute fasting works best for him.
(30:05):
Arnold isn't going to cut out the good stuff, but
visits his doctor regularly to keep tabs on things. Tom's
conclusion is that sooner or later, something catches up to
you no matter what, so focus on a rich social
and family life. My dad places it mostly on diet.
He evangelizes the benefits of a plant based diet, which
(30:25):
I'm pretty sure is a fancy way of basically saying
to just eat vegetables. I know a buttlot of vegetables
would make me thinner and healthier, but is it something
I can actually commit to. I honestly don't know, but
I'm gonna try tonight. I'm having my first dinner of
vegetables with a side of vegetables. I like tomatoes, cucumbers,
(30:47):
and beats, so that's what I'm having. Then I'm gonna
take my dog for a walk. I don't want to
wait until I have an incident to start being healthier.
I'm gonna start today. Big shout out to the twenty
three and me folks. I gave them a hard time,
but they were actually really accommodating, and I really do
recommend it, not just because they're sponsoring the episode, although
(31:10):
I do wonder if they had let me make an episode.
Trashing them doesn't matter. It's a really fun gift, So
grab a kit and spit and if no one's thought
of that yet. M t M Prodigy was created and
produced by me Lowell Berlante. The executive chef was Caroline
Special Thanks to Ben jer and Yvonne Sheehan. I'm signing
(31:32):
off now, but it's been a beautiful ride.
You're listening to prodigy. My name is Lowell brilliant em Sorry,
my name is Lowell real lte real yante. I'm really
not sure how you're supposed to say it, but it's
one of the three Italian words I know. The others
are bunjorn no, and manga. I never gave it much
(00:24):
thought until people started asking me, is that really your name? Yeah,
it's not a pen name means brilliant in Italian. Because
I come from a long line of geniuses or narcissists,
we don't really look it in my opinion, but I'm
told we're Italian. My dad can speak it fluently. He
learned it from his parents while growing up in Brooklyn,
(00:46):
New York, which I imagine was like the beginning of
a sore case film. He would tell me stories about
his mom's loving hospitality, her wonderful cooking, and how quickly
she could remover shoe and fired at you if you
got out of line. It was less civilized time compared
to today's standards. The shoot throwing was one of many
(01:09):
stories my father would tell me. The passing of those
stories felt like school. They were mandated not by his
school board, but by the human need to pass things on.
Being Italian is a point of pride to my parents.
Every Christmas Eve I had the Dinner of the Seven
(01:30):
Fishes and boogie at the Italian American Club's Christmas party.
To this day, every time we go to an Italian restaurant,
my dad will find a reason to chat with the
owner while emphatically gesturing with his hands. On those occasions,
he'll bust out the absolute fanciest pronunciation. But it's familiar
(01:53):
to me. But to be honest, I never really cared
that much. I don't feel all that Italian. I was
born in the South. I don't own a single gold chain,
and my hair looks terrible when I slick it back.
But I can't cook. I'm not sure if cooking was
a genetic hand me down, but if it was, I
got it from my dad. He can whip up a
pasta dish to go with your second espresso in no
(02:15):
time at all. Stereotypes aside. I think I was born
just one too many generations removed. My grandparents all passed
away before I was old enough to remember them. They
didn't exactly leave behind many selfies. I have some old
photographs of Stiffly posed people I don't recognize in my
father's stories. Honestly, I don't even recall how they died,
(02:37):
but I know they're relatively young. I'm over here door
dash and Dunkin Donuts without any regard to what could
be lurking in my genetic code. This episode was sponsored
by twenty three in Me, and to be completely honest,
I don't really want to see the health report. I
never get sick, I'm not obese, I'm not charming, but
(02:58):
some women do appreciate my arms. Mentally, I feel pretty
decent about my health. Why mess with that? What if
there's something in there I can't control? It's the fear
of finding out the FOFO. It's fun to say. So
for this episode, maybe I'll just focus on the ancestry part.
I can connect with a third cousin that I'm not
(03:19):
sure if it's okay to be attracted to and learn
how to make mozzarella. Oh, I'm sorry, learn how to
make mozzarella. My name is Lowell and this is prodigy. Alright,
the reports are in time to find out if I'm
(03:40):
actually Italian or just short. Okay. It's broken down into
three main categories with several subcategories. I'm going around decimals here.
In the first category, I'm European and that is Italian,
mostly from Sicily, so my parents weren't lying and oh
look at this point two Jewish. That gives me a
(04:02):
few extra holidays. Next category is Western Asian and North African.
The subcategories are a bit of a mishmash, but the
main ones I see are Coptic, Egyptian, and Cypriot. I'm
not trying to say that I couldn't point those out
on a map, but luckily it shows you one. The
final category is point seven percent sub Saharan African, specifically Ghanaian,
(04:26):
Liberian and Sierra Leonion. That makes me curious how many
generations you have to go back to find that ancestor
probably not many, since each generation you go up by
multiples of two, two parents, four grandparents, eight great grandparents,
sixteen great great grandparents. If I go ten generations, there's
(04:46):
one thousand, twenty four people contributing to my d n A.
But anyway, I'm mostly Italian. I should probably call my
dad and hear one of those childhood stories I used
to ignore. We had a Levodes market, which was was
a chicken market. You're going on your pointed the chicken
would be alive, and then the guy would take it.
If this is where you want, let's gloat and then
(05:08):
put in the machine. They would boil your real hot machine,
take a little feathers off like a rotating machine, and
you they were your chicken packaged up there it. Oh
my god, that's how fresh. Yeah, that's that's good. Yeah
that was Do you think you would pick the chicken
he hated the most, or like our which one looked
the most delicious? Well, when you went to the roadies,
(05:31):
I don't know. My father always I never picked chicken.
One guy was like, oh wait, wait, let me pick
and you're like, all right, watch out for that guy.
How did your parents punish you? My mother was the one.
My father never hit us at all. He would threatened,
but you know then my mother would hit me with
a shoe and she'd come after me and she grabbed man.
(05:54):
You ran from her on the head where she had
these shoes like a slipper and it was wood inside
of it, like hitting someone with a bat on the head.
That's the harder self. And when she could throw it,
she was really really good at throwing it. He could
be like fifteen feet away and she hit you in
the head. She beat me with it. I mean she
(06:20):
was pretty, she was really, but we loved it. She
was someone that we absolutely loved, even though she loved
every one of us, five of us, and everyone that
knew her would love her. Anybody was invited to our house,
the guy would be the mailman, she'd invited to dinner. Anybody. Why.
(06:40):
She just liked to do nice things for people. She
was just very generous. That she was tough, but she
was very very generous what she did and how she
treated people. But the people like her, even a neighbors,
he just went to the very decent person. You're sick,
she brought to things. You know, she would take care
of you well, like clear things up a bit. It
(07:01):
turns out I'm a descendant of a kind and generous
woman that weaponized her footwear to beat her children better.
I wonder if twenty three and me will hear this,
or if they're spending all their time on Many Drivers episode. Oh,
getting a phone call from my sister. Hang on, Okay, yeah, hi,
go So my cousin Josie is visiting and she did
(07:22):
twenty three and me too. She wants to compare reports.
So I'm gonna hit record and open up the website
on my new custom built PC. Well you gotta get
the app, alright, fine, but better not send me fifty
entifications like door dash. That's how I just sent your
request or an invitation. I don't know what it's called
an invitation to share. Once you accept Lowell, we can
(07:45):
do a side by side. It is really amazing that
it knows like second called them once removed. Ye. Look,
you're like you're pretty Asian and me I guess Western
Ation and North Africa. That's like a lot more than
Josie is. So he is a lot more Arab Egyptian
(08:10):
and living Tine than I am. And one and a
half and he's six and a half. Yeah, and then
all this other stuff that I have. Zero's Northwestern Where
where were they're in West As They're pretty excited and
I'm kind of realizing why this is such a big
deal for families. I just got a Google math. So
(08:34):
this is so interesting. Jespine, you're like a super Neanderthal.
I am a what's that? From? Where? Said? You're just
as you're like five first out war that we are
pretty sure it's that makes sense. Well, it explains a lot.
Rachel's really neanderthal. You think I am check Rachel out.
(08:58):
So the neanderthal percentages are pretty funny because of how
the word is commonly used, but it doesn't actually mean
anything about Josie's intelligence, stature, or ability to make fire.
I could look at this, Oh day long, it's so fun. Josie.
How come there's no trait for you on your back
hair or your bald spot. I'm not saying that food Lowell.
(09:22):
We're both predisposed to weigh more than average. I don't
like that one. Oh man, that's a great laugh. But
she's wrong. Yours says predisposed to weigh more than average.
Mine says predisposed to weigh about average. Oh you're right.
(09:45):
Early hair loss. No you don't have hair low Yeah,
no I do. I do no early hair well. I
don't know what early is, but like around college, I
started to like get thinner, but I still have like
hair on my head, you know. Yeah, well it's not lucky.
And then your family God would be so terrible to
be bald. So Josie wants me to connect with other
(10:05):
family members that have done it too, call Phil and
tell him to accept Send Phil and invitation. I've never
called Phil before him, I've never texted. I'm don't even
know if it is he in the app, I'm not.
I don't know his number like in the message group.
You know how I message you just now the other
number on there. So he's done it. So I sent
(10:27):
Phil a request to connect and sign off. The next night,
I get a phone call, but it's not Phil. It's
my brother and sister. One side of my dad's face
was drooping, so my mom took him to the hospital.
I've been dreading a call like this. Losing a dog
last year tore me apart with grief. I don't know
how the process losing my father. Thankfully, it seems like
(10:50):
he's doing okay, but they're keeping him in the hospital
so they can run some more scans. My mom goes
home for the night and my dad doesn't have a charger,
so we can't reach him. He's probably resting, but I
can't shake the thought that he's alone. The next day,
my dad gets his charger and I have a brief
chat with him. His speech is a bit slurred, but
he's in good spirits. He gets excited telling me about
(11:11):
a Netflix show he's watching, and I can hear a
speech clear a bit. He's gonna be all right. We'll
keep him another day for scans and then he can
go home. Josie's mom had a stroke too. Is that
my fate? Is it inevitable? And I should just say
screw it and continue to live care free? Where can
I prevent or delay it? Well, it's probably time I
(11:34):
look at my health report. My last physical showed high
L d L cholesterol, so it wasn't much of a
surprise to see an increased likelihood for that and coronary
artery disease, which is what led to my father's stroke.
I can't do anything for my dad at the moment,
so I decided to call Phil. His mom is my
dad's sister, aunt, Josephine. How you been. I've been well,
(11:57):
how about you? But before we started, how is your father? Oh?
He's good, but yeah, I guess he had like a
mild stroke or whatnot because of you know, like a
blockage in the heart, and they're considering right now whether
they have it cleared out surgically. April thinks he should
do it. Your mother and father are still considering it.
That's my information. Do you have any more? No, that
(12:19):
was that's the same information that I have, because I
guess the question is like, well, my dad actually changes
diet and exercise and stuff, or from what he tells
me he has such a great diet vegan or vegetarian vegan. Yeah,
well he does, but then he'll also you know, it
goes off. Yeah, you know what, I do the same thing.
(12:44):
My fear is that it's the same age as an
angela having a stroke. Yeah, I did the like the
twenty three and me plus one, and it has an
increased likelihood for coronary artery disease. And that I mean,
I guess you know leak and lead to stroke and
what do you what do you look at to avoid that?
(13:05):
I mean, do you look at your cholesterol? I don't know,
that's a good question. I mean, what do you feel
so you have a chance of getting cornered, like a
chance higher than the average population. I think, so what
do you do between now and seventy to prevent that?
I'm on web MD actually for how to prevent um
(13:26):
this end stroke and it says, you know, eat a
balanced diet, cut back on sodium, sugar, and saturated fat.
And I think sugar was a tough one for my dad. Yeah,
this just says like exercise healthy weight. Um, you know
he's not super overweight now, but he was always overweight
like his entire life. You know, you've always been thin,
right the end of how you how you're judging me
(13:53):
compared to who for this family? Yet in this family
I would be considered thin. I have quite a bit
of Neanderthal Wait, more than you. Jessie has a lot,
so it's gonna make fun of her. But oh, what
does she really Josie? Yeah you get that from Uncle Bill. Yeah,
(14:17):
you have eleven percent more than everybody else. Why are
we so in neander Result? I mean I feel it
feels like an insult. Why well, you know the the
connotation of the word, you know, because you're a caveman. Yeah, right,
like you're like thin? I go commercial, Yeah pretty much?
Do you guys have anyone with like a d h
(14:38):
D decided you and me? Do you? It's like do
you and me? Right? Yeah? I guess have you been diagnosed?
Paying attention? These are the jokes. I don't do anything.
I can't say for sure that somebody in our family
has been like like that. Yeah, my father, Oh yeah,
(14:58):
you know I'm always looking down too younger than me.
Your your father has it. Yeah, he hasn't touch them.
And he he does like to touch everything, and he doesn't.
He bounces around quite a bit, a touch of it.
He likes to touch everything, touch everything. One time I
was traveling with your father, I just had We went
(15:19):
to the keys together in my it was a fairly
brand new truck of mine, and we stopped at the
rest stop, and your father thought would be a good
idea to take that you know that dirty window cleaner
by the side of the game, Yes, and washed the
clean the window. But but on the inside of the truck. No,
(15:40):
I can't believe that. Yeah, I tread to God, I'm
pumping against Mexican and it's dripping on my dash. You know,
all that chemicals and the bug parts. What are you
doing inside the inside? Did Rachel like connecting with people?
Why did she buy a you a test? She brought
(16:03):
me a test because I answered by me a test.
I said, you know, that would be a good Christmas
gift for me. So I wanted to do it, and
I didn't want to spend the money, so that would
be I thought it was a good idea, and what
got me interested in it was the fact that she
told me that she was fifty Italian. So I said, well,
for you to be fifty time, I need to be
a hundred percent Italian. I'm not sure exactly how the
(16:27):
science works, but I was close to a but not fully. Yeah.
I guess it's it's like some kind of recombination. I
think um or maybe her mom had like, you know,
some Italian Yeah, like just anymore. My dad told me
(16:50):
he stayed at Phil's house once and there was no
food in the fridge. That story made me think that
Phil couldn't control his late night ice cream cravings, but
turns out he does interminute fasting. I sleep better when
I fast, then when i'm when when I want to
eat a lot and I get in the bed and
then my body i'm hot. You want to see something
(17:10):
of making you fast and go to bed. You need
to blankets. You eat all day. You can't have the
sheet on you when I break that thirty six hours.
This is I had to find this out. The hard
way is that if you go forty eight hours and
then eat, you better be you better be by a bathroom. Yeah,
(17:39):
it seems like you've really focused on being thin. And
how did you get into it? Oh? Because I think
it looks better Vanity. That is a motivator though. Yeah,
that's the same with me. I just wanted to get
ripped so I could get lots of girls. You ain't
a rock star, so that's rocks on. You ain't rich,
so you got going for you. I appreciate it. Thanks
(18:03):
having good one, Phil, Bye bye bye. Remember Josie. Her
brother is my cousin Arnold. He's this crazy talented video guy.
His mom was my dad's sister, Aunt Angela, and also
suffered from strokes. So I rang them up. Actually, this
isn't a phone call because Arnold is one of those
lovely guests that knows their audio. Whoa, whoa and relax,
(18:32):
be a Google. H Uh. Your your mom had a
stroke too, right? She had a lot? Yeah, well she
had one massive stroke. Um. She was driving the when
she lived in the villages. She lived near Uncle Jerry
and at lou and she was I don't know if
(18:53):
she was going to the grocery store or something in
the middle of the day and she had a stroke
and ran through a red light and t boned another car.
So she got into a really bad accident and she
called Uncle Jerry, and Uncle Jerry came and picked her up,
and he thought she was just you know, shaken up
(19:14):
from the accident, so he brought her back to his
house and she kind of stayed there and at dinner,
this is a couple hours later, she was talking to
him and she just kind of fell out of her
chair onto the floor. That was when Uncle Jerry said, up,
we're going to the hospital. So at the hospital they
(19:37):
were like, no, you've had a quite a massive stroke. Actually, um,
which isn't you know? It's if they had known that
she had had a stroke and taken her to the hospital,
there would have been less damage done. I guess right, um,
from what I've read about strokes, as you have like
you know, a couple hours to you know, do some
(19:59):
massive oxygen intervention and there's some other drug that they
can give you two burst up blood clots and whatnot. Yeah,
So I mean, really, if you know that you've had
a stroke or even suspect, getting to the hospitals like
the best thing that you can do. It's a horrible
thing that you know, when something happens to your parents
(20:20):
and you know, here, there, here, and then they go
down to here and they never quite make it back
up to here. So this is the new baseline, and
then the new baseline, and then the new baseline. Did
ever make you think about like your own health and
uh like trying to avoid something similar happening to you? Yes, yeah,
(20:43):
absolutely so. My mom was not a fan of her
medication whatever that. You know, the side effects probably were
not fun. I'm guessing I don't think it was that bad.
I don't. I remember just at one point her telling
me like, oh, no, I've decided I'm gonna cure myself
(21:05):
with eating plants, Like, oh, yeah, that's great. Mom, don't
don't you know why would you listen to medicine where
they can make sure that you know, because you know,
she had um type two diabetes I think it was,
and she was supposed to take whatever that medicine was,
(21:25):
and she just decided one day she was going to
stop doing it. And so I make you know, I'll
tell you that, after seeing how my mom went downhill,
I'm pretty serious about making sure I get to the
doctor at least once a year for physical you know,
get the blood work, what you know. But I'm only
fifty and you know, nothing really major has happened to
(21:48):
me health wise. I'd imagine that that first health scare
will probably do more for me than it maybe did
for my mom. I don't know. Growing up, of the
five siblings, Uncle Jerry, Uncle Anthony, aunt Josephine, and my
mom all lived within four hours of each other. Your
(22:12):
dad moved away to North Carolina, so we would only
see him like once or twice a year, and it
was always like, you know, Fourth of July or Christmas.
All of the children of Jerry, Josephine, Anthony, and Angela
would see each other almost like a monthly basis. So
(22:33):
I would constantly see tons of people that I was
related to and have that familial bond. And I would
get to see you know, you, April and Frederick once
or twice a year, and that was about it. Our
cousin Tom. I saw Tom every other weekend until I
(22:56):
was fifteen years old, so you know, he and I
had a tight bond. We were we're you know, six
months apart, and I saw him all the time. He
lives right down the street from me. Now, actually, oh
that's great. I hope you get to see him a lot. Yeah, yeah,
like twice a year. Tom's dad is my uncle, Jerry. Wow. Okay,
(23:23):
I literally just made that connection Tom and Jerry. God.
I bet they hate that his parents are older than mine,
but neither of them has had a stroke. They lived
ten hours away in Florida and Tom was older, so
I saw him maybe three times while growing up. A
few years ago, I bought a house in the same
area of Atlanta as him, Decatur. It's not uncommon for
(23:45):
me to meet someone and get asked, are you related?
To talk to Tom. He's so nice. He's their eye doctor,
and they probably see him about as much as I do.
Since I need something from him, I figured it was
a good time to reconnect. Asked him to bring over
his lovely part or Denise to fact check him. And
because she gives me compliments. Here she is telling me
(24:05):
about an open DNA database and then I can take
your code and your code and plug it in and
they'll cross reference everything and I'll say either we have
matches in common or we don't have any matches. So
like that should be built into dating apps, right, absolutely, right,
I think of that. Everybody's probably distantly related that everybody
(24:30):
that creeps health is a perpetual concern of my parents
because they are very healthy and they you know, now
my brother has gotten much healthier, but I am still
very overweight. So they've tried various ways to incentivize me
and Denise to you know, lose weight. The latest was like,
(24:50):
you know, we'll give you some money for a personal trainer.
I would love that, but I feel like, first I
need to you know, lose weight before I start exercising.
But you don't think that that's really the most important
thing when it comes to like long term health, right, Yeah,
So I guess that My feeling is that something's going
to catch up to every one of us eventually, sooner
(25:12):
or later. So I had, you know, appendicitis, you know,
all things considered, that really was not something that was
to life threatening. So I feel like, if that's the
worst that happens to me, well, you know, that won't
be the worst. But like I guess, the idea is
that over time, all the little things add up. I
think he's under selling it by saying it wasn't life threatening,
(25:34):
because if you saw the thought up that we had
to do, and the medicine that we had to give you.
What not say that, Well, your side of the family
is like always in such like positive spirits. You're not
thinking it that good. I'm just thinking maybe you do
if you think that that's part of it too. Yeah,
I think, um, you know, seeing a therapist on a
regular basis, I think that's contributed a huge amount friendships
(25:59):
as well as your you know, your partner family is
like super important. And you think my mom nagged my
dad into this strip? Okay, I'm sorry. Now I'm just
gonna say that I think that's something that like I
took for granted when I was younger, and now I'd
take that, take it a little bit more seriously and
(26:20):
probably still not the best of keeping up relationships, but
better hopefully. You know, it's my personally held belief that
we should not hang around on this earth too long
that you know, seventy five and out is I'm believe,
big believer in that. Um So he says that, and
(26:46):
he's like, wait, so maybe not be euthanized, but like, yeah,
enjoy the amount of time you have here on this
earth and then call it a day. My dad's home
from the hospital and he's feeling better, so let's check
in on them. Hey, Hey, how's it going? Okay, how
are you doing good? Uh? Can you hear me? Okay? Yeah, good, perfectly.
(27:12):
Does it make you like I want to change here? Yeah?
Of course I would have gone totally planted more than
I look at plant based eating more. I think that's
a solution not to do. But I've always backed out
of it. Well, I mean you put it all on
plant based, but like, I mean, what about like, you know,
losing weight and stuff. Yeah, well that's that basically the
(27:34):
same idea, right, Well is it? Well if your plant based,
great because it's like putting on this idea of plant
based as opposed to be like I need a you know,
blues weight and need less high stuff high and cholesterol.
You know that too, Yeah, you don't want any cholesterol.
A little cholesterol is possible. So NER's cholesterol comes from
(27:55):
animal products you don't know, probably in cholesterol. And the
worst thing I have surgery, you cold blodder. That was
he was laparoscopic, was really really it's great, she said, Pete, Pete.
If you pique up, Pete, she said, go home. That
went home. I couldn't pee anymore, so he sent me
to the hospital. And what happens is when you get older,
(28:16):
sometimes you're bladder goes to sleep with the anesthesia and
doesn't work up so you can't pee's going in and
get a freaking Catherine. That's disgusting. That was really painful.
Are you in the bathroom right now? Yeah, because I'm
recording this conversation. Oh are you what stuff would you
(28:38):
have done or do you think would have been good?
Like to do differently, like in a preventative way to
avoid this. Yeah, go to watch what they eat. Watched
a whole lot more what I ate, but the words
he just can't eat five foods and cracked Hamburgs, and
I be careful what I ate. I mean, this just
catches up with you over years. Especially if I knew
(29:01):
that I was more subjective to this, then I would
have came more careful, and I wasn't. I was just
eating everything. Sometimes I get good and be careful and
then sometimes I just eat don't kind of shift. Yeah,
So you think the knowledge, like knowing beforehand, would have
made a difference. Sure would, of course it would have. Well,
(29:21):
I'm glad you're doing okay, and let me know what
they say all right. Okay, so my dad's doing better.
He's not dead or a different person, but he has
to take his health deadly serious. Now. There is zero
room for error or that stroke will be the first
(29:42):
of many. It happened to his sister, and according to
my last physical and my DNA test report, I have
the same dilemma. So it's pretty obvious what I need
to do. Right, Let's go back to what my cousin said.
Phil probably needs his own podcast. He's a areas He
focuses on staying thin and intermitute fasting works best for him.
(30:05):
Arnold isn't going to cut out the good stuff, but
visits his doctor regularly to keep tabs on things. Tom's
conclusion is that sooner or later, something catches up to
you no matter what, so focus on a rich social
and family life. My dad places it mostly on diet.
He evangelizes the benefits of a plant based diet, which
(30:25):
I'm pretty sure is a fancy way of basically saying
to just eat vegetables. I know a buttlot of vegetables
would make me thinner and healthier, but is it something
I can actually commit to. I honestly don't know, but
I'm gonna try tonight. I'm having my first dinner of
vegetables with a side of vegetables. I like tomatoes, cucumbers,
(30:47):
and beats, so that's what I'm having. Then I'm gonna
take my dog for a walk. I don't want to
wait until I have an incident to start being healthier.
I'm gonna start today. Big shout out to the twenty
three and me folks. I gave them a hard time,
but they were actually really accommodating, and I really do
recommend it, not just because they're sponsoring the episode, although
(31:10):
I do wonder if they had let me make an episode.
Trashing them doesn't matter. It's a really fun gift, So
grab a kit and spit and if no one's thought
of that yet. M t M Prodigy was created and
produced by me Lowell Berlante. The executive chef was Caroline
Special Thanks to Ben jer and Yvonne Sheehan. I'm signing
(31:32):
off now, but it's been a beautiful ride.
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